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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689553">That Distant Shore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Becangle/pseuds/Becangle'>Becangle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Island (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Characters from all Seasons - Freeform, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jake &amp; MC, Levi/MC - Freeform, Lucas/MC - Freeform, Melodrama, Messy MC, Noah/MC - Freeform, Slow Burn, Smut, villa fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:55:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>211,067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Becangle/pseuds/Becangle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jess arrives in the villa as ‘The Bombshell’ on day one. She's a romantic, cynical about her chances at finding love on a dating show and especially doesn't take a jokester like Bobby seriously.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bobby McKenzie/Main Character (Love Island)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Roads go ever ever on</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>If I had to describe myself in three words, it would be fun, kind and reliable.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hi, I’m Jess. I’m 27 years old and a rainforest conservationist from  Lavenham.  I just got out of a long term relationship and I’m looking for love. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>I love reading, hiking and existing out in nature. I get stir crazy indoors. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>My ex would describe me as either really fun or dull. It’s all or nothing with me. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>My ideal guy would be tall, dark, handsome, funny, romantic. I have very high standards but when I find someone I like, I commit hard.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My biggest turnoff? Arrogance. There’s a difference between being confident and cocky. It’s a massive turn off. I’d rather someone make me laugh.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How did I end up here?  Awkwardly waiting to be introduced to a bunch of trashy instagram-wannabe influencers and douche-bros?  Love Island...not a place anyone ends up if their life was going right. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s the place where dreams die.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’ll be fun, I had told myself. Something different, wild. Crazy. It was crazy. Too crazy, I wish I could go back in time and talk myself out of it. Instead I’m here, about to make a full of myself in front of a bunch of strangers as entertainment for the UK viewing public.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jess, what the hell were you thinking?  </em>
</p><p>She paced nervously, her heels making a sharp noise with every step. It was the first day of the newest season of Love Island and she was tasked with gatecrashing the party. The matched up islanders would be happily enjoying their first night in paradise until she arrived to cause chaos and disrupt their fun. She would be introduced as the “the bombshell.” <em> What does that even mean?  </em></p><p>Bombshell: an overwhelming surprise or disappointment.</p><p>Disappointment. </p><p>
  <em> What if I’m a disappointment?    </em>
</p><p>Fear of disappointing the guys was at the forefront of her mind. She was pretty but was she pretty enough? Bombshell was quite the label, too much pressure on a girl who had spent most of her life feeling average. They would be expecting a  tall beauty arriving straight from a bikini photoshoot on the beach. Jess was pale and short with dark brown hair that fell shortly below her chin.  Her best feature had always been her eyes- large, brown and expressive, always able to dazzle. At least as the ultimate ‘girl next door’ type, she didn’t have to worry about other girls feeling threatened by her.</p><p>Making friends had always come easily, but keeping them eluded her. She gained and lost friends at a regular rate through primary and uni, now she had colleagues, not friends. No one to rely on and confide in.  Typically, there was no need to stress about meeting other girls, but these weren’t normal circumstances. She was the enemy, needing to break up a couple to stay in the game. </p><p>But not win. Her goal was to have fun, self-reflect, maybe even hook up with some fit guys. But a real connection seemed unlikely. With no grand illusions of winning, she hoped to enjoy the experience for what it was. A free romance-based vacation masquerading as a competition to find love. </p><p>This was the change she needed, something to knock her out of her rut. Her life had stagnated, every dull, repetitive day reminding her that she had wasted her youth. Structure was nice, it was familiar and soothing and she clung to it desperately at times. Having grown up in a small town, desperation for adventure grabbed hold of her at a young age. She fought against her instincts, letting an urge to travel the world and make a difference take over.  After high school she attended uni in a slightly bigger town, working towards the silly, idealistic dream of saving the rainforest. She got a job in her field and had been there since. She worked hard, played little, and was bored out of her mind. Even travelling for work had become more mundane and not the fabulous adventure she had imagined. </p><p>She planned to be married with two children by the time she turned twenty-seven. Instead, her relationships had deteriorated. She’d been with her last boyfriend, Paul for four years, thinking they were heading that direction. When he broke up with her, it left her mildly surprised instead of devastated- a sign they weren’t meant to be, their future shattered due to neglect and disinterest.  Neither cheated, they never fought or kept secrets from the other- the strength of the relationship simply evaporated over time. </p><p>Travelling so much for work was probably too much to sustain any relationship. Every time she left Paul, they missed each other less. And eventually not at all. They remained friends, but the spark had extinguished to the point of leaving her to wonder if there ever was a flame to begin with.  She tried to remember, but all she could feel was indifference. </p><p>Was it her job that destroyed them? Or her inability to communicate? Every relationship she had ended in a similar lacklustre fashion. The common denominator...her. </p><p>The only natural way to deal with a long-term breakup that’s left you questioning every life decision? Apply to Love Island! A trashy, idiotic dating show full of sexy twits trying to become more famous. Ostensibly, love was the goal, but that was a joke.  The relationships rarely lasted a few weeks after the show ended. It was terrible and embarrassing to admit but she was obsessed with watching the horned-up hotties search for love. </p><p>It felt like a solution to her problems. A necessary splash of fun. Life was good on paper, it just needed a bit of a realignment - a reset to figure out what she wanted in life. Now that she was here, it was terrifying and all she felt was fear and regret. </p><p>Any confidence had left her, and now all she could see were her flaws. Why had they picked her? A girl who was the textbook definition of average. Painfully dull with attempts at humour falling as flat as her chest. <em> I’m going to make a fool of myself. What was I thinking?  </em></p><p>Shooting the promo videos was embarrassing enough, she cringed thinking of the literal challenges that would be thrown at her. Last season, contestants had to transfer food between each other's mouths, the thought left her queasy and wanting to run for the door. </p><p>
  <em> Breathe. Just breathe.  </em>
</p><p>She tried to focus, let her fears fall away. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Humiliation on TV for the world to see. Nothing truly important was at stake. If she could get through the summer with some good friends, a fling with a cute guy, and not embarrass herself too much, it would be a monumental success. </p><p>The benefit of being a basic bitch? She was forgettable. Her time here wouldn’t follow her. After her fifteen minutes in the public eye, she would be as forgotten as Jim Belushi’s career. </p><p>A producer signalled that it was time. Taking a deep breath, Jess nervously moved towards the entrance to surprise the islanders. Hoping to not fall in the unfamiliar high heels she wore, she walked into her new villa life.</p><p>
  <em> You can do this. Don’t fall, don’t fall.  </em>
</p><p>Taking in her first look at the villa, her knees felt weak at the sight. Hanging strands of lights bathed the scene in a moody glow, while neon accents added minor splashes of colour. The setting was more intimidating than she expected. </p><p>Groups of islanders were scattered across the lawn. The girls were fit and glamorous, one in a long silver strapless number, so stunning Jess nearly let out a gasp. Assessing her own simple navy blue dress, she worried she had chosen the wrong look. That she was wrong.  </p><p>
  <em> I don’t belong here. What was I thinking?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Is it too late to gracefully back out? Or run for the door.  </em>
</p><p>The music abruptly stopped, drawing confused looks by the group. “Hello everyone,” she yelled louder than intended. All eyes turned to meet her, judging her, knowing she shouldn’t be there. </p><p>
  <em> Do they hate me already? She shifted uncomfortably, made uneasy by so many eyes fixed on her.   </em>
</p><p>A blonde ball of energy ran towards her wrapping her up in an enthusiastic hug. She tensed in surprise, before relaxing against her.</p><p>The girl pulled away, grasping Jess’s hands excitedly, bouncing in place.  “Hello, I’m Chelsea. I’m so glad to meet you. I can already tell we’re going to be bffs. You’re so pretty. I love that dress. What size are you? It looks like we could trade clothes. What do you want to drink? We should get some prosecco asap.  What’s your name?” </p><p>“I’m Jessica, Jess actually. Very nice to meet you,” she stammered, having expected awkward tension and snark rather than this genuine, if crazed welcome. She hadn’t prepared for someone like Chelsea. Had she ever met someone like Chelsea? </p><p>While the other girls wore dresses, the petite girl was clad in pink workout gear. She had beachy blonde hair with dark roots which were either a stylistic choice or evidence of a laid-back attitude. Either way, Jess already liked her.  </p><p>Within moments, a few other islanders approached. Six handsome guys and two girls surrounded her. One of whom was the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen. If anyone deserved the term “bombshell,” it was her. She was a statuesque goddess with glorious boobs that defied gravity. With deep red hair, a symmetrical face, and a perfectly placed mole, she belonged on a magazine cover instead of Love Island. </p><p>Next to her was a petite woman with stunning dark skin and long braided hair, nervously biting her lip, hands rubbing together methodically. Her intense brown eyes popped against her bright red lipstick.</p><p>“I’m Priya, nice to meet you. This is Erikah. And well… these are all the hot guys you basically have your pick of.”</p><p>Jess surveyed the men, knowing they were judging her as much as she was them. The question they would be asking- Was she fitter than the girls they were already coupled with or as she feared, a disappointment? </p><p>She swallowed hard, her throat dry as she prepared to meet each one. </p><p>The first to greet her was Levi, exactly her type on paper. A proper man. Had they sent him just for her? He had the body of a Greek statue with a beautiful smile, and soft brown eyes. Not the tallest of the bunch, which as someone labeled fun sized at 5’4 was fine with her. He had light brown hair, shaved on each side. He seemed relaxed, confident, and immediately put her at ease. He quickly worked into the conversation that he had played water polo in the Olympics, but in a way that was humble and genuine. She felt a fluttering in her chest when he winked her way. </p><p>Next, there was Noah- tall with wavy dark hair and a lean but muscular build. He was quiet, with a hint of intensity brimming silently under the surface.  A librarian. A sexy librarian. She wanted him to put on glasses just to take them off again and ravage her against a card catalogue. Having spent time in libraries, it was a long-running personal fantasy.</p><p>Ibrahim introduced himself next. He wore his dark hair in neat rows of braids along his scalp. He was tall, built, and not confident at all. He shuffled timidly and made awkward attempts to charm. His attempts at a cheesy pickup line fell flat, but he seemed genuinely nice. Like Levi, he was an athlete, a golfer. It would take hard work to get him out of his hard-bodied shell. </p><p>The same could be said for the next guy, Jake. With short brown hair, dark eyes, and a strong jaw, he was classically handsome in a 1970’s movie star sort of way. He was friendly, but shy and serious, nervously smiling without much to say. He was a chef, which was a turn on. Who doesn’t like a man who can cook? And he was humble, declaring it “wasn’t as big of a deal as it seemed.” </p><p>Bobby was introduced last and was Jake’s polar opposite despite similar career paths. Jake was head chef at a restaurant, Bobby was a hospital caterer with a side interest in baking. While Jake was grounded and timid, Bobby cracked jokes like he was being paid by the laugh. He was funny but in a desperate, try-hard way. </p><p>
  <em> Is he so full on all the time?   </em>
</p><p>His opening line was that he was ‘the sweet dessert at the end of a main course of beefcake’ causing her to laugh for the first time all day.  It was true he wasn’t as stacked as the rest of the guys, but he had a beautiful face with amber eyes and a charm she found endearing. He had a lean body, skin a lovely bronze shade and his face had a smattering of freckles that also made an appearance on his chest. With his colourful shirt half-buttoned, he was a fashion disaster in the flesh. Half Jamaican with dark locs and an absurd but sexy Scottish accent, she was immediately fascinated. He was certainly the most entertaining of the bunch. </p><p>She couldn’t gauge if any of them liked her.  Other than Levi whose gaze lingered, leaving her captivated by the quiet but intense look in his eyes. The others' greetings were friendly but detached, with no smouldering in sight.  If they were interested in her in the slighted, each was playing it cool. Perhaps unwilling to graft openly in front of their current partner?</p><p>“So tell me about the couples. Who’s not happy with their fella?” Jess laughed, trying to add some levity to the awkward situation.  Before anyone could respond, the other girls made their way over.</p><p>“Like you care,” a dark-haired petite girl with intense eyes spit out.</p><p>Jess tried to focus her breath, she had known this was a possibility. The girls may not like her. It still stung that this girl decided she was a villain before even speaking to her. </p><p>“You need to back off Rahim,” the angry brunette continued.</p><p>“Don’t mind Leggy, she’s just being salty,” Chelsea interjected, waving off the girl’s attack.</p><p>“Allegra,” the aggy chick apparently named Allegra corrected. “Stop calling me that.” </p><p>A tattooed blond goth girl with pale skin, heavy makeup, and pink highlights followed with a dismissive glare. “Everyone is extremely happy with their couples, I’m not sure why they bothered to bring you in,” she said with a distinctly Australian accent. </p><p>“Lottie, ugh, are you already starting in? Jess just got here, let’s get some champagne before you blow a full….I don’t know...meltdown on her?” Chelsea wildly flailed her arms, her attempts to deflect were adorable and probably appreciated by everyone except Lottie and Allegra. </p><p>“I want Jess to know where she stands.” Allegra continued to stare her down with contempt Jess had never experienced from a virtual stranger.  </p><p>
  <em> Going to need to develop some thick skin to survive this place. </em>
</p><p>“Noted.” Jess followed with an awkward chuckle. “I can already tell whose partners it would be the most fun to steal. So thanks for that.” </p><p>If looks could kill, Jess would be buried in the villa garden. Lottie’s dark red lips pursed to the point of non-existence, while Allegra glared like an angry badger. Priya stepped between the girls looking to diffuse the situation. </p><p>“I suppose you want to know who’s coupled up with who. I'm with Noah here.” Priya smiled affectionately at him. “Lottie is with Levi, Erikah is with our resident jokester here.” She gestured to Bobby. “Oh and Chelsea is coupled up with Jake. And as Allegra let you know, she’s coupled up with Rahim. For now.” </p><p>Allegra had her arm wrapped around Rahim like a boa constrictor. She had a unique look- a mole that looked fairly fake under her lip, intense eyebrows, purple lipstick and blue nails. Jess wondered if they would find an entirely different person under her makeup. </p><p>
  <em> Poor Rahim. I wonder if he actually likes her </em>
</p><p>“So, Jess what’s your story? What are you looking for in a guy here?” Lottie narrowed her eyes, seeming very interested in the answer. <em> Too interested.  </em></p><p>“Well, I’m Jess, twenty-seven years old and a rainforest conservationist from Lavenham. I’m here to have a good time and meet a nice guy,” she said in the cheesy beauty pageant voice perfected in her promo videotaping earlier.  </p><p>No one other than Bobby, who smiled warmly at her, thought it was funny so she shifted tones and continued. “Hopefully a fit guy, but if they’re funny and we get on, that’s everything. I tend to go for cheeky and flirty guys, but I like a tall, dark, and handsome type too.” </p><p>Jess cringed as the words left her mouth. It was exactly the kind of bullshit answer she knew the show’s producers would want her to give.  And specifically encouraged during promo taping.</p><p>But, it was a lie. She liked funny and flirty guys, but never ended up with them. All the men she had dated fit a typical mould. Serious, classically good looking, charismatic with kind eyes- the sort of man who would make a good husband and father. Someone she wouldn't find on Love Island. Her ideal sort of man wouldn’t deign to appear on such a lowbrow affair. Love was off the table, she was here for a vacation. A break from the mundane existence she had fallen into, and to put herself back in a romantic mindset. Maybe some snogs. Or more. Things with Paul had become so platonic that it had been years since she’d felt those butterflies. </p><p>Anyone seriously expecting to find love on Love Island was either naive or a complete moron. But maybe she could at least feel caterpillars?</p><p>“I hope you find him. Get your graft on girl,” Chelsea encouraged.</p><p>Erikah eyed her up, “Who are you into?”</p><p>“Boys, get out of here, it’s lady time!” Chelsea shuffled the reluctant guys away. </p><p>Jess was caught off guard by the directness of the question. “...It’s hard to say, I literally just met everyone. Going by first impressions,” she paused, considering their reactions.  “I don’t know.” Levi. I like Levi. “I’ll have to chat with everyone more. I want to hear more about you all.  Priya, what do you do?”</p><p>Priya stood straighter, drawing the eye directly to her chest. “I’m an estate agent, but you know..one of the good ones. Chels here is an interior designer, Lottie’s a makeup artist, Erikah’s an actor and Allegra...Allegra, what do you do?” </p><p>“Ugh. Good to know you’ve been paying attention. I’m a cocktail entrepreneur,” Allegra grumbled. </p><p>“I still have no idea what that actually is.” Chelsea raised her hands, looking befuddled by Allegra’s career.  Allegra began to answer but was interrupted by Jess’s phone. </p><p>“I got a text,” she yelled, hoping it would be the first of many Love Island texts. Everyone gathered around her as she read it. “Jess, tomorrow you will go on a date with each of the boys and then choose one to couple up with, leaving one of the other girls single and vulnerable.”</p><p>“I fucking knew it,” Lottie muttered, glaring at Jess before stomping off with Allegra by her side. </p><p>The other girls pulled their respective partners away, leaving Jess alone. Ignoring the looks thrown her way, Jess wandered over to the daybeds, preferring to sleep outside tonight. Based on the reaction to her text, the bedroom was too crowded for her liking. </p><p>Had she expected better? Or worse? Either way, the aggression stung. And her nerves were shot, she had spent the day as a tightly wound ball in a constant state of nausea. The last thing she needed was anything else to increase her panicked anxiety. </p><p>The others began moving inside to get ready for bed and Jess waited a few minutes to do the same. </p><p>As much as she enjoyed egging on Lottie and Allegra tonight, she didn’t know if she had it in her to pick one of their guys. It seemed like more trouble than any of them were worth.</p><p>But Levi.</p><p>Levi might be worth it. He had the best vibe of any of the guys. And hopefully the best abs. As superficial as it was, she was excited to see the guys shirtless and in swim trunks tomorrow. From what she gleaned today, there was a lot to look forward to.</p><p>Spending time observing the couples and getting one-on-one time with each of the guys tomorrow would help clarify things. She didn’t want to disrupt a happy pairing, but how strong could a couple be after 24 hours?</p><p>Not that she believed in soulmates, but no one had met their soulmate today.  Love at first sight was just a myth, a nice idea that people convinced themselves was possible.  If she broke up a couple, what did it matter? </p><p>After changing into her pyjamas and heading down, she heard muffled voices but caught one distinctly speaking her name. Creeping towards the sounds in the lounge, she was unsurprised to find Lottie and Allegra. </p><p>“She’s so full of it and she’s not even that hot, I can’t imagine any of the guys wanting her over us.” Allegra’s bitterness was apparent from her words, but her face was scrunched up in an almost comical way. </p><p>Jess stifled a laugh. </p><p>“I know, I mean, look at us. We're gorgeous. Did you see the way she was already eye-fucking Levi? He’s with me, she has no respect for girl code.” Lottie ranted while pacing back and forth. </p><p>Jess wasn't surprised to hear them already talking shit, but it was still disappointing. She had hoped to get along with all the girls in the villa.  It was her chance to start over. New place, new friends, new Jess. Same bullshit. </p><p>
  <em> I’m not letting them get to me. I’m better than this. </em>
</p><p>Walking past Allegra and Lottie, she cheerfully addressed them, sending a wave in their direction while focusing straight ahead. Holding her head high and continuing past them. She needed them to know they didn’t scare her. Even if they did. </p><p>It had been years since she had known girls like this. In middle school, some were catty and possessive, but they grew up in high school. She wondered what caused Lottie and Allegra to be so paranoid and aggressive. They all came in on the same day, it’s not like she was breaking up a marriage.</p><p>There was a small part of her that enjoyed how upset her presence had affected the girls. How it had rattled them. It was exciting knowing she had the power to cause chaos, even for a day. </p><p>Tomorrow, grafting on guys with a partner would be awkward. Taking each guy on a date without their partner around would help, but it was still stressful. Trying to get to know Levi and Ibrahim would be especially difficult given their possessive partners. And ultimately, she would then have to choose someone and deal with the fallout.</p><p>She wondered if any of this was going to be worth the drama. It might make for a more relaxed summer if she picked someone whose partner wouldn’t hold a grudge. She wasn’t sure about Erikah, but Priya and Chelsea seemed laid back enough to not give a shit. </p><p>Levi. Noah. Bobby. Jake. Rahim.</p><p>She groaned knowing she would have to pick one tomorrow. A cool breeze drifted over the lawn, encouraging Jess to get under the covers. Deep in thought, she didn’t notice someone approaching the daybed until they stood at the edge of the bed. It was Bobby, wearing the goofiest cake pyjamas. </p><p>He stayed silent, appearing to not quite know what he was going to say. Eventually and after some awkward shuffling, he spoke. “Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?” </p><p>Bobby continued without waiting for a response, ignoring her confused expression. </p><p>“You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,' which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F.”</p><p>Somehow left speechless by this random fact, she stayed quiet letting the silence linger as Bobby smirked. </p><p> “Is that true?” She finally asked, her confusion replaced with curiosity. </p><p>“Who knows? Anyway, how’s it going?” Bobby flopped down beside her on the daybed. “You seemed a little overwhelmed meeting everyone earlier, so I wanted to check on you.” </p><p>“That was nice of you. Too nice. What do you want?” She eyed him up suspiciously. </p><p>“Me? Nothing,” he gasped, his amber eyes sparkling.  </p><p>“Looking for the hot goss on who I’m going to pick?” </p><p>“Was I that obvious?  I mean, you should definitely pick me, our couple name would be Bessy.” An easy grin spread across his face as he pointed it out as if it was the most logical leap. </p><p>“I guess it’s settled then,” She smirked, tapping her hands against her knees. She couldn’t get a read on him, was he grafting on her or just being friendly? </p><p>“I wanted to see how you were getting on, first day and all.” His cheeky smile faded, replaced with an expression of concern. </p><p>Somehow that surprised her more, he was flirty but kind. <em> What’s his deal?  </em></p><p>“It’s the early days, but everyone seems nice.” She paused, chuckling.  “With a couple of exceptions.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t worry about them. Or at least Lottie. They’re probably just worried about going home. At least <em> you </em>don’t have to worry about that.” </p><p>
  <em> I don’t know about that…. </em>
</p><p>“So what are you looking for on Love Island?” Jess asked, wanting to suss him out. Had she grown so cynical that she couldn’t trust that someone could be looking out for her with no ulterior motives? </p><p>“Me? I’m here for the sun. You can’t see it now, but tomorrow...check it out. We don’t get sun like that in Glasgow.” He gestured to the star-filled sky. </p><p>“All gloom and doom there?” she asked playfully. </p><p>“Aye, the gloomiest and doomiest….What about you? Hoping to meet your true love here?”</p><p>Jess burst out laughing, quickly regaining her composure, and moving closer to confide in him- her voice barely above a whisper. “You would have to be completely daft to think you’d find love here. I’m here for fun.”</p><p>“Well, if it’s not fun, what’s the point?”</p><p>“Exactly. Someone get it.” </p><p>What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?” he asked, a confident smirk displayed on his face. </p><p>“I don’t know, what?”</p><p>“Fucking hot!” He burst out laughing at his own terrible joke.</p><p>“That is the dumbest joke I’ve ever heard.” She couldn’t help but let out a giggle.</p><p>“But it made you laugh, so I would call it a win.” He seemed pleased with himself, she didn’t know him but liked seeing him that way. </p><p>She smiled at him and after a tense day, finally felt relaxed. “So, is that your thing? Terrible jokes?”</p><p>“What can I say, if you pick me you’ll be laughing all the way into the bedroom?” He winked, cheekily patting the space on the bed beside him.  </p><p>“And in it?”  </p><p>“Hopefully not….,” he said with a raised eyebrow and a playful look in his eyes. “Speaking of bedrooms, I’d better be off before Erikah comes looking for me. Catch you tomorrow.” He waved and walked back towards the villa. </p><p>Day one is over- made two enemies and one friend. Not too shabby. </p><p>Jess lay back down and curled up alone. Tomorrow she would pick someone to share a bed with. Tonight she could enjoy the peace and tranquillity that came with being single. No pressure to act a certain way, do things to keep someone happy, or worries she was saying the wrong thing. That would come tomorrow.</p><p>Today she could just be.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Home is behind, the world ahead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sounds of vicious, snarling, tiny beasts surrounded her. The growls and barks echoing down the path. Running swiftly, something brushed against her leg causing her to fall deep into the lake. Surfacing, she saw them. Hundreds of pugs diving into the water after her, continuing their hunt. Can pugs swim?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes, only hearing the sound of snorts and splashing water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she woke up. She could still hear the splashing of water, but it was more subdued and graceful. Groggily, she pulled herself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What time is it?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at her phone only furthered the confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Half-past Eleven?  That can’t be right. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She groaned, remembering her phone would never have the accurate time. What was the point? To keep the islanders in a constant state of disorientation? It was bad enough they weren’t allowed music or books.  Anything that would divert their attention from the precious art of grafting was prohibited.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why couldn’t they at least know what time it was? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun barely peeked through over the horizon. She took a pillow, bringing it to her face, letting out a groan. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who the fuck would wake up this early? Wasn’t getting to lie-in part of the appeal of Love Island? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was irritating, she expected to sleep in. At least a little. Before trying to get back to sleep, she had to know who had the audacity to interrupt her first morning in paradise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stumbling over to the pool, she saw Levi swimming laps and her irritation melted away. Quickly assessing her appearance, she fidgeted with her pyjamas and smoothed her hair before walking closer to the pool for a better look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was absorbed in his swim so she sat on the coping and took in her surroundings. There was something beautiful about the way Levi moved through the water. His movements effortless as he glided along lost in the act. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She studied him carefully, his tone back glistening in the morning light, his face focused on nothing but making it to the other side of the pool- everything about him was intoxicating and she had to force herself to look away, to the world around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the excitement of last night, she neglected to focus on where she would be spending the summer. The villa in the daytime was a new experience. It was bigger and more incredible than she imagined. The view was the same as what she had seen a million times on her TV screen, but now the little details jumped out at her and elevated it to majestic levels of amazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The vibrant colours of the beanbags. The blue water of the infinity pool. The endless rolling hills of the vista. Watching the sun emerge from the clouds coming in from the east, she felt hopeful. Maybe she was supposed to be here. The view from the villa was spectacular. If only they were allowed to explore the hills. The villa wasn’t small, but there was beauty out there taunting them, while they were stuck inside this sterile neon light filled environment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> She dipped her toes in the cold water and swirled circles with her foot before looking back at Levi. Unable to take her eyes off him- his bum, his arms, the muscles in his back, she had never found swimming to be so damn sexy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught her watching, stopping mid-lap and swam over, a smile spread across his face. “Have you been secretly watching me swim?” he called out smugly as he approached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I…well..” Jess flushed, slightly embarrassed to have been caught out. “Well yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, look if you want,” he said with a cheeky grin as he pulled himself out of the pool. His short red swim trunks left little to the imagination. He knew what he was doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made her feel things she hadn’t for a long time. Fervent sexual desire. His body glistened from the water and she couldn’t help from watching the droplets roll down towards his trunks. Her eye drifted to the large bulge in his trunks. Levi looked pleased with himself, noticing how her gaze had lingered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She recovered her composure, turning towards him with a smoulder “How do you look so good in the morning?”  He grinned at the compliment, cheeks turning a little red. “Wow, you’re blushing, adorable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just because I’ve been swimming,” he said sitting closely next to her, their knees almost touching, the warmth of his skin radiating, making her desperate to close the distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat rising in her chest, she looked away.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Play it cool.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you swim every morning?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to. If I get out of my swim routine, I’ll start putting on weight and lose my momentum. Hashtag athlete problems.” He shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The cost of greatness I suppose.” She casually assessed his abs. They were as nice as she had hoped. What she wouldn’t give to touch them, rake her hands across his perfect muscles. Shaking off her dirty thoughts, she smiled coyly at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth,” he answered back.  “How was your first day on Love Island?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shorter than yours, I expect you have more to share. What did I miss?” She brought her hand to her hair, running her fingers through, a nervous habit she had picked up through years of social awkwardness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing too exciting. I got here, chatted with the guys a bit, Lottie picked me, we played truth or dare. Then I met the most amazing girl who I can’t wait to know better. All up to date.” He smirked, casting a quick glance at her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet you say that to all the girls,” she teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise, I don’t. I like you,” he said in a soft and soothing voice.  Levi’s sweet words and kind eyes made him seem genuine, but he smouldered with a captivating intensity. A person could lose themselves in his steely eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tried to hide a smile but it broke through, unable to be contained. Any doubts about Levi’s intentions were squashed by the simple honesty of his words.  I like you.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He likes me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Their moment was interrupted by the arrival of the other Islanders moving towards the kitchen. “We should probably join them,” Levi simply stated while continuing to gaze at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably.” She was mesmerized by him, rooted to the ground, seeing nothing but him. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>*clang* </b>
  <span>Breaking eye contact, she got up and moved towards the chaotic sounds of breakfast, feeling invigorated by Levi's attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been so long since she felt the interest of a man, been the object of his affections. The way Levi looked at her, made her feel special, beautiful and desired. With a pep in her step, she joined the group, settling into a spot next to Erikah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled awkwardly at Erikah, who returned it and looked back towards her partner, Bobby. Jess quietly ate a bowl of cereal and observed. The rest of the islanders hadn’t been there much longer but had already bonded with inside jokes she didn’t feel part of. She felt like an outsider as they referenced things she had missed. From what she could deduce, Bobby was into toes, Noah kept half the islanders up with his snoring, Lottie was obsessed with girl code, and Allegra and Ibrahim had already done bits. She stayed quiet hidden behind the glass wall she put up, shielding herself from their rejection. Not sure if she even wanted to be let into their club.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Levi finished his cuppa, Lottie pulled him away for a tea reading. He looked over at Jess, shooting her a wink and a cheeky smile before running off with Lottie. As they walked past, Jess heard him affectionately teasing her about the absurdity of fortune-telling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It bothered her but she shoved it down. Of course, he’s flirting with Lottie. She’s his partner and they wouldn’t be coupled up if they didn’t fancy each other a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________    </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lounged by the pool until shortly after breakfast, her phone let out the telltale beep letting her know it was time to get ready for her dates. Chelsea and Priya excitedly swarmed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, we’ll help you get ready,” Chelsea cried out while both girls pushed her towards the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had only briefly glimpsed the bedroom last night. Today, she took it in and in and felt the disappointment. On television, it looked sleek and glamorous. But in person? It was gaudy, cramped, and a little smelly. Sharing a room with so many people now seemed intimidating. Maybe going home first wouldn’t be so bad?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How many showers are there here? How much of a battle for the bathroom will happen each morning? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea chatted up a storm while they went through her suitcase looking for the perfect dress. “I really like this….no this one. This is the one, right Priya?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely the one,” Priya declared with a nod. “Which boys are you the most excited to chat with?” She glanced at Chelsea. “It’s fine if it’s one of ours, it’s still the early days.” Chelsea nodded in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A comradery already existed between the girls and Jess was grateful for their welcoming nature. Chelsea and Priya had a judgment-free, friendly aura that put Jess at ease. She already felt they were trustworthy, good people. Without any self-consciousness, pyjamas were removed and replaced with the sleek light blue dress Chelsea had chosen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“TBH, I don’t think Jake is right for me. He’s too quiet. It’s like, I know I can carry a conversation, but I need you to bring something to the table, right? It was like pulling teeth to get him to tell me his favourite colour. Mine is pink, how hard is that? Jess, what’s your fave?” Chelsea asked, barely taking a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess considered the question more carefully than it required. “I don’t know if I have a favourite colour, I wear a lot of mustard. Maybe that? Or a royal blue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what my favourite colour is, how am I expected to pick a guy today??</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we please move on from colour chat? I’m still waiting for an answer. Who’s grabbing your attention so far?” Priya jumped in, steering the conversation back to romance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before she could answer, her phone made a distinctive noise. Saved by the beep. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Jess, please meet the jeep at the entrance to bring you to your dates. #datestravaganza #grafton </b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, got to run! Thanks for being so nice to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, babes. We got you!” Chelsea leaned in for a hug while Priya quickly touched up her hair. There wasn’t time for anything more without making the driver wait, so after a brief glance in the mirror, she was off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While rushing down the stairs, she was caught by Allegra laying in wait. “Hey, Jess. I wanted to chat with you." She crossed her arms, aggressively.  “Woman to woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I should get going…” Jess took a step away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t eat from other people's plates if you don’t want to start something you can’t finish,” Allegra said with confidence as if it was a common idiom and Jess should know exactly what she meant. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Huh? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess desperately wanted to continue her exit, but stayed and politely listened, trying to hide her annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I do not have the time or energy to deal with this jealous shrew right now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stayed silent, sure her face was scrunched in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra let out an exasperated sigh. “They had it on the wall of a restaurant I went to once. It means that, like, you shouldn’t eye up what someone else has, and you should be prepared to finish it if you try to start anything. I’m just telling you how it is. They had one of those food challenges at the restaurant. They all said that to me because they thought I was the girl who couldn’t eat a 32 oz steak. I showed them. I get what I want when I put my mind to it. So you know, don’t bite off more than you can chew with Ibrahim, babes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, Ok. Allegra, I have to go. Nice talk.” Jess dashed outside eager to escape Allegra’s confusing metaphor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What a strange girl in an already pretty strange place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________                         </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cheap wine: Check. Gorgeous vista: Check. Cute guys: Check, Check, Check, Check, and Check. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rules were simple, sit in a chair while hot guys are paraded in every ten minutes for a speedy date. Easy peasy. Cards labelled ‘emergency ice breakers’ had been placed on the table. It was a relief to have the option to alleviate any awkward moments of excruciating silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess waited at the small bistro set overlooking the beautiful Spanish countryside feeling at peace for the first time since arriving on the island. It was so lovely, she almost forgot why she was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned remembering the choice ahead of her- the choice doomed to make her an enemy of one of the girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah was the first date of the day. He shuffled over and sat down, meeting her eye before awkwardly looking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s nervous, it’s kind of adorable!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence lingered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is kinda weird,” she said, pointing out the obvious, with a forced chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it? I’ve always thought sitting in silence is an act of closeness.” He offered with the glimmer of a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize we were there yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only one way to get there. And you seem great. The fact that you’re beautiful certainly doesn’t hurt….I mean….Everyone is beautiful here… It’s...I should...” He stumbled over his words, it only made her like him more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you into? All I know about you so far is that you’re a hot librarian,” she said, brazenly flirting with him. That was the point of this place, right? </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can do this, I can graft. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know about hot, but the librarian part is right. There’s not much to tell, I’m from Romford. I have a pet snake named Carl, I collect squiddles, which I know opens me up to being mocked by most people.” He grinned, his brown eyes watching hers like he was trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. “I don’t usually date much, I’m a classic long-term relationship kinda guy so this is a big change for me. It’s weird being away from my family. I helped raise my brothers and sister. It’s only been a day and I already miss them a lot. What about you? What’s your family like? ”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this the part where I have to tell the world I don’t have a family? I was an only child and my parents are both dead. I have no one. No one to miss and no one who is missing me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned, unsure of how to respond. Steadying herself, she took a breath before answering. “That’s sweet about your siblings, Noah...So what is it you love about squiddles?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He responded without acknowledging the subject change. She was grateful he understood that it was too early to talk about some things.  After a long discussion about the future of robotics, they sat together enjoying the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did feel a tiny bit closer to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Onto the next date...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess tried to reign in her smile as she saw Levi approach, but seeing him made her giddy. Like she was a sixteen year old with a crush.  She bit her lip. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You like him, yes, but play it cool. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He settled into the chair with an intense smouldering stare, but also looked a little nervous as he pursed his lips into a smile. Fidgeting with his hands, he moved them off the table and cleared his throat before finally speaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damn, he’s gorgeous. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jess, you're looking lovely today.” He smiled wide, looking her down with approval.  “So, getting right to it. I like to be direct. I like you. I thought that as soon as I saw you and I think there’s something here. I feel like we would be good together. What do you think?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s definitely direct. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I. I mean, I’m into it if you are.” Jess responded with a slight blush, feeling overwhelmed by his forwardness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you do if I kissed you right now? To see if I’m right?” He reached for her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if it’s the only way.” Impressed by his boldness she summoned her own and leaned in for a kiss. It was quick and gentle, but there was definitely a spark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful, I could look at you all day.”  He grinned affectionately at her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, that’s such a line.” She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide a smile. He was cheesy, too smooth but so attractive that his lines were melting her into a blob on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious, you’re so fit. That was definitely the highlight of my day. I don’t usually like to get like this with a girl so quickly.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s different now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you are.” He looked embarrassed by the admission, a hint of red forming on his cheeks. Everything he did managed to make him more attractive to her. Why was he so cute? No one had ever affected her like this.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But what about his partner? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are things with Lottie?” She asked trying to sound casual- hoping he wouldn’t realize how jealous she already was. He and Lottie were cosier than she expected at breakfast. Jess had noticed how closely they sat together, the way he played with her hair and kissed her on the forehead at least twice- like they were a real couple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She seems cool, and I like her but I dunno. I like you more, I guess.  Are you gonna pick me later?” He asked, his voice cool and collected. How can he ask that so casually?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m definitely picking you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure. At the end of the day, it’s not the end of the day.” Jess wanted to at least pretend to consider the remaining guys. It might be safe to keep him on his toes since she wasn’t sure about his relationship with Lottie. It was too soon for her to put all her eggs in Levi’s basket. It was a good-looking basket, she liked it, but didn’t know if she could trust it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that, but there’s obviously something between us, it seems a shame not to explore it further.” Levi reached for her hand, gently caressing it until his phone beeped letting him know their time was up. He kissed her cheek, before walking away, looking back a couple of times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without chatting with the rest of the guys, she knew Levi would be her choice. It may only be an intense attraction, but it was an unfamiliar and exciting feeling. Levi was right, they had a connection that should be explored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rahim approached next, stiff and uncomfortable as if he was hoping a hellmouth would emerge to save him from the awkwardness.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing up and pulling him in for a hug, he relaxed as if reassured by the physical contact. He took advantage of the situation and pushed her chair in as she sat down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smooth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t expect too much, that’s my only good move.” With a cheesy smile, he asked, “Was your mother a beaver?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re fine...wait...I think I got two lines mixed up. Sorry, I’ve been practising, but I get so nervous saying them.” His eyes cast downward, embarrassed, and frustrated with his failure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still think it was funny. Besides, pick up lines are cheesy, why not be yourself?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am being myself,” Rahim said defensively. “Pick up lines are a big thing in my family. It’s how my parents got together, I just don’t have the gift of gab.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can practice on me anytime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” He grinned, a grateful expression on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, what are friends for?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face fell, but he recovered quickly with a smile. “I can always use more friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Anything else you’re into? Other than golf?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever heard of The Violet Man?” He asked with a sparkle in his eye. Rahim launched into tales of superheroes all named “something man”.  It was fascinating- not the stories themselves, but how excitedly Ibrahim told them. His nervousness and reliance on terrible pickup lines faded and an easy confidence came over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So yeah, then the Violet Man yells, you’ll never get away with this, Gene Spellman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know if I’ve loved anything as much as Ibrahim loves the Violet Man.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I realized I’ve been talking about superheroes for five minutes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, wait until I start talking about Eastenders, you won’t be able to get me to stop,” Jess said with a laugh. “What is it you like about superheroes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it’s the way all the characters have such pure morals. Good is good, bad is bad. All you have to do is work hard and the good guy always wins in the end. I like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nice and simple,  if only life could be like that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After Rahim left, familiar anxiety returned. All the guys had been nice, she hoped no one would be disappointed if she didn’t pick them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How egotistical am I?</span>
  </em>
  <span> All of them are already coupled up with beautiful girls. The only thing she could hurt was their ego.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You aren’t a prize for them to win.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>For the second time in twenty-four hours, an approaching Bobby caught her off guard. “Fancy meeting you here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A response was stuck in her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Say something. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem surprised, am I not supposed to be here? Is this how I find out? Did they get me confused with the other Bobby McKenzie in Glasgow? I guess it’s not that weird. I do get his mail sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and sit down,” she instructed, gesturing to the empty chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiiine. Captain B Smooth at your service." He dramatically plopped down to sit across from her. “I’ve never seen anything like this before, we don’t exactly have a lot of vineyards in Glasgow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How sad for you. What’s life in Glasgow like? Besides gloom and doom? Tell me about you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused as if considering his words carefully. “Well, my mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quit with the jokes. Be serious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why so serious?” He dropped his head and looked up with a dangerous smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby quickly established himself as an enigma with wild, frenetic energy and an inability to share anything real. He dodged question after question, responding with film quotes and jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s tall, gorgeous, and begins with a Y?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So terrible.” With a giggle, she nudged his arm.” You should help Rahim. Your lines are as bad, but at least your delivery is better.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm feeling a connection.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ever quiet?” She smiled warmly, enjoying his absurd energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost never.” He shifted in his seat, managing to hit his leg on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah says being able to sit in silence with someone is a sign of closeness.” Jess fixed him with a pointed look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, but Noah is also afraid of grasshoppers.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you afraid of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caterpillars. They’re weird fuzzy tubes. Ick.” His face scrunched up and cringed, making her stifle a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby’s so out there and confident, but it doesn’t feel genuine. Getting to know him feels like work. Romance feels off the table, but I have a good feeling about him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being obstinate and ridiculous avoiding my questions this way. If you want me to be friends with you, I now demand you tell me five things about yourself,” she challenged, excited for his reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re taking friendship off the table, harsh, Jess. Super harsh,” he said, his tone tinged with mock annoyance, a gleeful smile bursting through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's not fair, I wasn’t here yesterday and I missed out on so many things. I believe I heard something about a toe fetish. Five facts now,” she demanded with a stern face and a flicker of amusement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok…..” With each fact, he displayed a finger. “Number one: I used to sing in a punk band. Number two: I have one sister. Number three: My favourite food is spaghetti hoops on toast. Number four: Purple is my favourite colour.  Number five: I’m not actually into toes, but I’ll give it a try if you are.” He finished the last fact by wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Way to dig deep there, Bobs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say? A magician never reveals his secrets. Friends?” He held out his hand, which she noticed was possibly his finest feature. Long, slender, and delicate looking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friends.” She reached for his hand and shook it. He dramatically responded with a long drawn out handshake he refused to let come to a natural conclusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I adore Bobby, he’s delightfully silly, endlessly amusing. He’s fun and I love fun, but he doesn’t take anything seriously.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I need someone to take me seriously. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>If any of the other guys were subdued, they had nothing on Jake who was pleasant but drier than day-old bread.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Jake, tell me about yourself. You’re a chef, right? What’s that like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being the head chef basically means I set the menu and get in trouble when something goes wrong. It’s not as exciting as it sounds. I don’t get to do much cooking these days. At least not at work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your favourite thing to make?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, I’d have to think.” He looked thoughtful, carefully considering the question. “Probably Gamjatang. It’s a Korean stew, it takes a lot of work, but it’s worth it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t appear to have anything more to add and looked at her, mouth agape, struggling to form a sentence. Her mind had gone blank, unable to formulate any kind of response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She realized the untouched icebreaker cards were still on the table. She quickly snatched one “Do you prefer cats or dogs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused a few seconds before answering. “Cats, they’re loyal and sweet, but only to their favourite people. Their love feels more real.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True, I love dogs but they’re sluts for love.” Jess nodded in agreement</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed a card. “What’s your favourite food?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soup?” He scrunched up his face in disbelief. “What kind of soup?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All kinds, I love soup.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I can make you some Borscht sometime. I love to get busy in the kitchen.” He blushed at the innuendo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised an eyebrow, impressed at his uptick in confidence, and grabbed another card. “Oh...What’s your favourite sex position? A little harder than the last one...literally...” She couldn’t contain a giggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I have to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you must,” Jess interrupted with a coy smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blushed and “Well. …. Um I guess it would have to be uh..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry for pressuring you, it’s ok if you don’t want to share.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” He smiled warmly, looking disappointed in himself but genuinely appreciative to be let off the hook.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was he more embarrassed about answering the question or that he was too embarrassed to answer?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe someday we’ll be good enough friends for you to share yours. But we should probably be getting back soon anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her phone hadn’t officially ended the date yet, but the ‘day of dates’ had arrived at a natural conclusion. Jess grabbed Jake’s hand and led him back to the jeep that would return them to the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dates over. Urge to jump in the pool increased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite how pleasant the dates had been and how nice it was getting to know the guys, a feeling of unease emerged as she got closer to the villa. Dating was easy, it was fun. If a first date didn’t go well, there didn’t need to be a second. If feelings were hurt, it was a momentary pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, she was headed back. Back to the viper nest. Or the Lottlegra nest.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it too soon to give up on being friends with them? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Before she could consider the question, Chelsea yelled out across the lawn, “I got a text!” Jess joined the rest of the islanders to receive the news from their invisible overlords. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok everyone, we’re playing Spin the Bottle,” Chelsea read as the group gathered around her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spin the bottle, really? Are we in high school?” Jess let out an overdramatic whine. It had been her least favourite party games growing up. Kissing was great, she loved kissing but doing it in front of other people always overwhelmed her. Everyone watching her, it brought her insecurities to the surface and left her over-analyzing her kissing style.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did the person she kissed enjoy it? Is someone upset I kissed their partner? Did it look weird? </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was never just a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You missed out yesterday when we played truth or dare. What’s next? Hopscotch? Simon Says. Tag...you’re it?” Bobby poked Jess on the arm and ran to the other side of the lawn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone followed him over to the contest area. There was a giant champagne bottle in the centre of the platform. Walking past Bobby, she poked him on the cheek and mouthed, “you’re it,” before settling in next to Erikah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you hoping to snog?” She directed to the aspiring actor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah let out a small sigh. “I don’t want to say too much, but I might have my eye on Ibrahim over there. He got with Allegra quick last night, but he’s so fit. His body is insane, I can’t even stand it. I want him. Badly. And I think he wants me too.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get him, girl. You would be better for him than Allegra. I reckon he needs someone with a bit more chill.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For sure," Erikah agreed. "You missed it earlier. Rahim and I were chatting and she had a full-on meltdown about it. Yelling about him not having her back. I know her ex cheated on her, but she's been way too territorial."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If she can't handle girls grafting on her partner, why is she here?" Jess replied, looking over to see Levi laughing at something Lottie had said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you lot talking about?” Chelsea loudly spoke, drawing the group's attention to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Deflecting the question, Jess jumped up, grabbing the bottle to take the first turn. “I’m first.” She spun harder than expected and watched it turn quickly before slowing down to land on Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Jess said, making eye contact with Priya who looked pleased with the result of her spin. Jess confidently walked over to Priya and pulled her in for a brief kiss on the lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” Priya challenged, playfully looking put out by the lacklustre kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess remained silent but moved back towards Priya, giving her the proper snog she requested. After kissing Priya for an absurd length of time and trying not to laugh, Jess returned to her spot, cheered on by the delighted hoots and hollers of the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya spun Jake and kissed him intensely, turning him into a flustered mess. Jake’s spin landed on Noah and they kissed lightly on the lips. Noah landed on Allegra, which was awkward for everyone involved. Allegra kissed Chelsea. Chelsea kissed Rahim. Rahim snogged an enthusiastic Erikah, which caused Allegra to chastise them both for their ‘betrayal’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the bottle made its way to Levi. He paused and looked directly at Jess before spinning. Either by the hand of fate or the precision of Levi’s aim, it landed on Jess and he moved towards her, swaggering confidently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He traced a finger up her arm and grabbed her face before pulling her in for a kiss. Their mouths met and immediately relaxed into each other, allowing the kiss to get deeper and stronger as Jess parted his lips with her tongue. The taste of cherry chapstick on his lips intensified her hunger for him. She pulled away and nipped his bottom lip before returning for more. He wrapped his arms around her, moving his hand lower down her back.  Finally stepping back from the kiss, she gazed into his eyes, helpless to look away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really Jess, what the hell? Keep your tongue out of my guy’s mouth or I’ll slap it out.” Lottie yelled out, walking towards her, looking enraged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back off Lottie, it’s a game. We're all having fun.” Priya moved between the two girls. “Let’s calm down and get back to it. Jess, it’s your turn. Lottie, sit down. It’s been a day. Stop peeing all over him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, staking your claim. That’s what dogs do to mark their territory.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you call me a dog?” Lottie raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I didn’t mean it that way...” Priya stumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relax, I was joking.” Lottie laughed. “I’m almost impressed.” Her mood lighter as she returned to her spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess, thankful the tensions seemed to have died down, spun the bottle again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It landed on a wide-eyed Bobby and she turned to Erikah for approval. Erikah gave a thumbs up and pushed her in Bobby’s direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked over to Bobby, who shyly looked at his feet. She leaned in for a short kiss, but he surprised her by kissing back eagerly, deepening the kiss as he placed a hand on her cheek.  It was soft and intense at the same time. Losing herself in the moment, she pulled closer wrapping her arms around him. He tasted sweet and she needed more. Their tongues met and she felt herself almost let out a soft moan. Coming to her senses, she broke away from the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That was amazing. Wow. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked flummoxed as he averted his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah yelled out, “Jess is really going for it today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s wild, I love it,” Priya supported. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am the most dangerous girl in the villa right now, may as well act like it,” she called out with a smile before turning back to Bobby. “That was nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only nice?” He challenged with a smirk. Jess winked in response and turned away, returning to her seat, trying to downplay how flustered it left her. He was a great kisser, something she hadn't expected from the villa jokester. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game continued a few more rounds until everyone was properly snogged out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ibrahim received a text. He yelled for everyone to hear “Islanders, you now have to decide who the best kisser in the villa is. Please cast your votes in secret using your phones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let’s see. I kissed Levi, Priya, Ibrahim, Bobby, and Erikah. If I’m being totally honest, Bobby was probably the best. Possibly the best kiss I’ve ever had</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She typed in Bobby’s name and hit send. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later Priya yelled out, “I got a text”.  She stood for the group and read the message aloud. “Priya, as the islander with the most votes, you win today’s challenge and get to rest your lips with some Ice Lollies. #willyoushare #lickaway”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing, I hope they’re the ones with sorbet!” Chelsea excitedly shouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who says I’m sharing?” Priya raced towards the kitchen with the rest of the islanders following enthusiastically at her heels</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got a text!” Rahim yelled out, drawing attention his way. “Everyone needs to meet at the fire pit in an hour for Jess to make her choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All eyes were suddenly on her, some nervous, some curious but she was the focus of every islander’s gaze. Fuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________    </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ok, it’s time. Make a decision.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Noah is nice and perfect for a long-term relationship. Maybe even marriage. Bobby is cute, a great kisser, and we would have a lot of fun together. Rahim is shy, but a good and honest person. Plus it would piss off Allegra if I picked him. Jake is the best looking of any of the guys. And he can cook!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi is ….. It has to be Levi. Even if it will cause drama with Lottie, it’s the right call. It’s early, but he’s the one I want to be with. I can feel it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Time to get ready and embrace the fallout.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in front of everyone, feeling the weight of their eyes on her, Jess felt her confidence dissipate. She shifted side to side, her heels creating a sharp clack against the concrete, making her instantly regret her movements. Her words struggled to form as nerves took hold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This has been a hard decision,” she finally began, wanting to melt away rather than continue. “Everyone, mostly everyone has been so nice.” She smiled in Priya and Chelsea’s direction but caught a glimpse of the other girls as well. Erikah looked nervous, but Lottie and Allegra were seething, each with a face daring Jess to pick their guy. As if they wanted an excuse to pop off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tension and anger seeping off Lottie and Allegra was unbearable. She needed to announce her decision, but panic was setting in as the air left her body.  Jess averted her eyes, hoping to muster the courage to continue. “But I need to choose someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Breathe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it might not go over well, uh...the person I choose to couple up with is...Noah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m a fucking coward. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally looking up, she made contact with Levi whose face was a mixture of disappointment and surprise. Noah also looked shocked, but walked over and reached for her hand. Without a glance at Priya, he pulled her in for a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra looked happy as a clam, but Jess could feel Lottie staring her down, burning a trail of rage in her direction.  Priya’s eyes were focused on the flames while Chelsea rubbed her back sympathetically. Jess had hoped to avoid drama by picking Noah, but it still found her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go chat in private,” Noah suggested.  Escaping from the sombre mood at the firepit, he directed her over to a daybed.  "So, you picked me?” Noah spoke after a few moments of awkward silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You noticed that, huh? I’m sorry, I should have told you and Priya first. I don’t want to mess anything up between you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s ok. I’m just a little surprised, I thought you had your eye on Levi. But you’re fit and you picked me. I’m not complaining,” he said with a weak smile. “Let’s chat more about it tomorrow, I know it’s been a stressful day for everyone. We should probably see about a bed.” He winked and reached for her hand, leading her inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsurprisingly, her choice appeared to be the topic of conversation in the dressing room. She could hear Allegra’s grating voice from down the hall. “What a snake. I’m glad she didn’t pick Rahim.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She shouldn’t have picked anyone.” Lottie’s raised voice followed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not how it works, she had to pick someone.” Priya defended. “I’m fine with it being Noah. Why do you care?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a deep breath and entered the room. “Hey Priya, can I grab you for a chat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Avoiding the looks from the other girls, they went to the lounge. Both girls remained silent until settling in on the couch together. Jess shifted in the space, unable to find a comfortable position, the guilt gnawing at her.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Jess broke the silence. “I wanted to apologize for picking Noah, I should have at least given you a heads up. It was a last-minute decision…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, you have to follow your heart, I understand that,” Priya said kindly, reaching for her hand. “Thanks for apologizing." </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Priya is so sweet and nice, I may already be a little bit in love with this girl.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for being ok with it. I didn’t exactly follow my heart though. And I’m totally fine if he picks you tomorrow. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>pick you. To be honest I may...” She paused, catching a glimpse of Levi heading up the stairs. “I may have my sights set elsewhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He has a nice butt. I should have picked him, we could be snogging  right now, his bum within my grasp, instead of stuck here, awkwardly apologizing to Priya. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya followed her gaze. “Nice choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt her face go red in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about Lottie, she’s all talk. She’ll get over it. You get your man tomorrow. Honestly, I’m a bit relieved. I fancy Noah quite a bit.” Priya smiled warmly and sashayed away to finish getting ready, leaving Jess to do the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slowly moved through her routine, washing her face, brushing her teeth, putting on pyjamas. All the while, her thoughts never drifted away from Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Climbing into the cold bed, she said goodnight to Noah and quickly shuffled over to the far left side. It was too early to eliminate the option of romance with Noah, but it wasn’t fair to lead him on when she preferred someone else. Tomorrow, she would ask Levi to pick her. She would be braver than she was today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Sleeping outside on the daybeds may have been preferable to sharing a bed with Noah. How was it possible for someone to snore so loudly?  After tossing and turning for what felt like ages, Jess gave up and decided to check out the terrace. Sleep appeared to be a distant hope, may as well at least enjoy the view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bitter cold felt strangely refreshing on her skin though a chill ran through her as she spotted Levi standing near the edge. He was clad only in boxers and looking out over the villa, the moonlight highlighting his silhouette. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now, that’s a nice view. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Doing some soul searching?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He turned towards her, looking a little wistful as his eyes met hers. “Maybe a little.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I disturbing you?”  She asked hesitantly, a little nervous that she was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not, it’s always good to see a friendly face,” Levi said, sounding more serious than flirtatious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friendly, I think we might be past that stage.” Jess needed him to know she didn’t want his friendship. Or at least it wasn’t all she wanted from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that make us?” His tone had softened. Walking closer, he gently pulled a stray strand of hair out of her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Today, friends. Tomorrow, hopefully more. Pick me tomorrow.” The way he looked at her made her feel braver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you pick me tonight?” He asked as they sat down together on the bench. His expression made her want to wrap her arms around him and reassure him of her affections. He looked hurt and confused by the rejection, she wondered if Levi was used to losing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hesitated. “I wanted to but I didn’t want to aggravate Lottie more. If I’m going to break you up, I want it to be your choice. So, pick me tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This place, you know, it kinda does your head in. You couple up so quickly. I like Lottie, she's gorgeous, unique, fun. But she’s also a little….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Possessive...aggressive….scary. I could go on.” Jess said, battling a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could say that...We’re kind of the same, you and me.. Caring too much about what other people think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She paused. “Maybe.”</span>
  <em>
    <span> Definitely </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I just think about what I’d do if I was playing water polo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I’m in the pool, there’s this moment when you’ve got to decide if you put everything into leaping for a catch. If you hold onto the ball, you’re in control of the game. If you miss it, you’re going to sink underwater. And then you’ve got to play catch up because everyone has moved on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s pretty deep,” she remarked. There was a quiet intensity about Levi that made her long for him, she felt desperate for his touch. To feel his warm body against hers.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I haven’t wanted anybody in years and I want him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Olympic swimming pool deep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How deep is an Olympic swimming pool?” Widening her eyes, she moved towards him, sliding her hand up his thigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. It actually varies, anywhere from two or three meters,” he nervously replied, shuddering at her touch.  Moving into his lap, she could already feel him hard against her. She shivered as Levi’s hot breath brushed against her neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He looks so good. He feels so good. We’re going to couple up tomorrow anyway, tonight is just a head start. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That seems pretty deep.” They exchanged a look, and she knew how badly he wanted her too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed down her neck with light tantalizing kisses and she moaned, her desire for him intensified- she needed him, needed this.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess ran her hand down his bare chest and slipped her hand inside the fabric of his pyjamas. She slowly wrapped her fingers around his cock with one hand while maintaining eye contact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I've wanted this for so long….”  He kissed her gently on the forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So since yesterday?” she questioned, brushing her hand lightly down, teasing him in every way.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels like forever.” A rush of desire came over her, their lips found each other. It started slow and became harder, faster. They should stop, this was probably a mistake but there was no turning back for either of them. She hadn’t needed anyone in a long time, but everything in her body was screaming for Levi. It was as if she was dying and only his touch could save her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is a bad idea. I know this is a bad idea. But why does it feel so good?</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A hunted man sometimes wearies of distrust and longs for friendship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the incident with Levi, Jess hurried back to bed and crawled in beside Noah. Laying down, feeling her heart rate return to normal, she felt detached from reality as if the sex had been a dream. A horrible, wonderful dream. She wasn’t sure how to feel about it, how to feel about him.</p><p>Waking up the next morning, Jess felt refreshed. Noah was still snoring beside her, but the noise had lessened. It was now a soothing, dull roar. Playing over last night, she couldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened. It had, but in the light of day, it didn’t feel so wrong. </p><p>
  <em>  A good person would feel guilty right now. I should feel bad about this, right? </em>
</p><p>Hesitantly, she took a glance at Levi’s bed. Lottie had wrapped an arm around him as he lay facing towards her, nestled in close. They looked peaceful. Content. Like a real couple. </p><p>
  <em> They’ve only known each other for two days.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just like me and Levi. How did I have sex with someone I’ve only known for two days?  Aren’t I too old and responsible to be screwing around with a guy just met? I'm not that person. I'm regimented, boring, I take weeks to dive in and try something new. I don't fuck casually. Especially not with someone with a partner. That's not me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And yet now it is.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I did it and I don’t feel guilty. Or at least as not as much as I should.  At least we’ll be coupled up today. No one has to know we started a little early… </em>
</p><p>Noah shifted a bit. Looking around, everyone was still peacefully sleeping. She slowly drifted back to sleep with thoughts of Levi and the recoupling on her mind when she was startled awake by the arrival of someone dive-bombing onto her bed.</p><p>“Ow,” Jess moaned in response to the attack. </p><p>“Rise and shine sleepyhead,” Chelsea chirped in response, cuddling against her and nuzzling into her neck. </p><p>“Blah, I just fell back asleep.” Jess reluctantly pulled herself out of bed and noticed the bedroom had emptied since she dozed off. </p><p>Before a day of socializing, any good introvert knows the benefit of starting the day with some personal quiet time. After dressing and a quick breakfast, she found a daybed to relax with a cuppa. She realized it may be a foreign concept to other islanders as Noah quickly approached, disrupting her morning.</p><p>“Good morning, sleep ok last night?” He stood at the foot of her bed, an expectant look on his face. </p><p>“Like a dream. You?” She smiled widely in an attempt to convince him- and herself, that everything was fine. </p><p>“I'll have a cup of tea and tell you of my dreaming.” He smiled with a glint in his eye, gauging the reaction with interest.</p><p>Carefully considering his words, she responded. “Well you know, dreamin' is free.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you got that.” He raised his eyebrow looking genuinely impressed, giving Jess a tiny ego boost. </p><p>“Blondie right?” she asked, knowing it was.</p><p>“Indeed. I’m surprised though. I grew up listening to my dad’s vinyl and no one ever gets my references.” He settled in on the daybed, leaving a comfortable distance between them. </p><p>Jess smiled, genuinely at him this time, feeling relaxed in his presence. “It’s a good thing you have me around. I don’t know why, but I’ve always connected to 80’s jams. Life can be hard, I want my music to be fun and easy. And well, vinyls come back around so I guess that makes you pretty cool.”</p><p>“I’ve never been considered cool before, I love it,” he grinned at her. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess librarians aren’t typically considered the coolest of men. But I think reading is very sexy.” She shot him a friendly wink.  Noah looked a bit embarrassed at first but somehow turned it into a smoulder. </p><p><em> How can someone look so nerdy and hot at the same time? </em> </p><p>“Tell me, what’s your favourite book?” She asked, before taking a sip of her tea.</p><p>“Oooh, that’s a tough one. Probably the Picture of Dorian Gray. The concept of every action affecting our soul is fascinating. I find myself thinking about that when I make a decision. You?”  </p><p>“Little Women,” Jess shot out immediately. “It was the first long book I read as a kid. It’s always stuck with me. </p><p>“So, are you a Jess or an Amy?” </p><p>“Neither, I’m a Meg. I care far too much about what people think of me. Which is why I used to tell people I was a Jo.” She was a little embarrassed by her admission, what a silly thing to have lied about.  </p><p>“Is that why you picked me?” he asked casually, searching her eyes for answers. </p><p>The question of the day. It wasn’t surprising he suspected her motivations for picking him. She was notoriously terrible at hiding emotions despite her disdain for discussing them. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she answered. “Probably. I’m sorry, I think we should probably just be friends for now. And you should pick Priya tonight, I’ll be fine, I promise. You two seem nice together and I-”</p><p>Suddenly, a beep sounded and a voice shouted out “I’ve got a text.”</p><p>Noah offered a weak smile before grabbing Jess’ hand to pull her towards the group forming around Jake. Within minutes, everyone was at the firepit to play ‘Never Have I Ever’. </p><p>After Allegra read out the rules, Chelsea began, “I’ve never cheated on a partner.” She stared down the rest of the islanders with a smirk, gleefully challenging the cheaters to expose themselves.</p><p>“Straight to what matters. None of this ‘I never ate foie gras’ stuff,” Lottie noted approvingly.</p><p>Jess surveyed the group, noticing others doing the same. Wondering who the untrustworthy islanders were. Ibrahim was the first to stand followed by a reluctant Erikah. Levi, Jake, and Priya also joined them, each avoiding eye contact with the others. </p><p>“I guess now we know who we’re getting into bed with,” Bobby declared, winking at Jess. “I’ll go next. Never have I ever sucked on someone’s toes.” </p><p>“What the hell is it with you and toes?” Lottie asked, shaking her head, genuinely perplexed.</p><p>“I like toes, just not enough to suck on them.” He paused for a moment. “Yet. Anyone….?” </p><p>Priya proudly stood up followed by an embarrassed-looking Allegra who shifted uncomfortably before quickly sitting back down.</p><p>“Good to know.” Bobby winked at Priya who returned it with a laugh.</p><p>Priya followed with “Never have I ever faked having an orgasm.”</p><p>Allegra, Erikah, and Levi stood up, Levi shrugged off some questioning looks. “Hey, it happens.” </p><p>The game continued as the contestants shared the various things they hadn’t done. </p><p>           “Never have I ever said the wrong name during sex.” </p><p>           “Never have I ever had a fuck buddy.” </p><p>           "Never have I ever given a lap dance."</p><p>           “Never have I ever sent a nude that included my face.”</p><p>           “Never have I ever had anal sex.”  </p><p>“Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex,” Rahim, who was particularly timid about revealing secrets, shared. </p><p>Jake stood immediately “What, am I the only guy? Maybe this summer.” He winked at Rahim. Priya, Jess, Chelsea, and Lottie stood up as well. </p><p>Jess said, “Never have I ever had a one night stand.” Following the statement, she briefly glanced at Levi and smiled. </p><p>
  <em> I want him to know last night meant something.  </em>
</p><p>Everyone stood except for Chelsea and Noah. </p><p>The game continued a few more rounds until everyone was equally humiliated by their various kinks or lack thereof. It had succeeded in bringing them closer. Even Lottie seemed warmer and more relaxed by the end. For a brief time, the competition had ceased and they had all become teenagers playing a dumb game, giggling over their dumb sexual escapades. </p><p>“It actually wasn’t that bad, the stickiness helped…” Allegra had been forced into telling a tale involving maple syrup and hay. </p><p>In what had become a usual interruption, a phone beeped.</p><p>“That’s me,” Bobby called out and he read from his phone, “Priya, as the single islander you can choose one boy to go on a date with. When you return, there will be a recoupling and anyone not picked will be dumped immediately.”</p><p>“Well, that’s easy, I pick Noah.” She directed a sultry smile his way. </p><p>
  <em> Thank goodness I didn’t ruin things for them.  </em>
</p><p>“Have him back by ten,” Jess quipped with a laugh, as Noah walked towards Priya. He looked back, seemingly for approval. With a nod and a smile, Jess waved them off. </p><p>“No promises.” Priya winked, taking Noah by the arm. They walked out of the villa and the rest of the islanders returned their focus back on grafting. Someone was going home today and no one wanted to be that person. Jess looked for Levi, but Lottie was already pulling him aside with a raised voice. </p><p>With her partner on a date, Jess surveyed the lawn. Allegra and Rahim were snogging on a daybed, Bobby was MIA, while Chelsea, Jake, and Erikah lounged by the pool. Jess wandered over towards them.</p><p>“I don’t think he’s going to pick me…,” Erikah trailed off as Jess approached. “Oh, hello Jess.”</p><p>“Who’s not going to pick you?”</p><p>“Well, obviously not who I want.” She glanced at Rahim who was wrapped up in Allegra’s embrace. “But I was talking about Bobby. I thought he seemed cute at first, but he’s completely immature and he shut me down immediately. All he does is joke, I tried to kiss him and he literally ducked me.”</p><p>“Oh no, you deserve way better, babe,” Chelsea supported, rubbing Erikah's arm soothingly. </p><p>“Exactly. He told me he just wants to be my friend. I’m not here for a friend, but I don’t even know if he’ll pick me as friends. I think he likes someone else.” Erikah looked distressed, eyes wide with panic.  </p><p>“Do you know who?” the perky blonde asked.</p><p>“No, but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t like me. I was hoping to connect with Rahim but Allegra hasn’t let him off her lips long enough for him to get to know anyone,” Erikah huffed. </p><p>“Honestly, I don’t think you need to worry, someone will pick you,” Jake said, not looking too confident about his statement. </p><p>“The way Levi’s been giving Jess the eye, if anyone should be worried, it’s Lottie,” Chelsea added as the focus turned to Jess. </p><p>“What <em> is </em>up with you and Levi?” Erikah asked with a raised brow. “And you and Noah?”</p><p>Panic ran up her spine at the questions. It wasn't something she wanted to think about, let alone dissect with the group. </p><p>“Uh….I’m not...Where’s Bobby? I should try to talk to him about who he’s picking.” Jess backed up, hurrying away from the group.</p><p>“Way to deflect, Jessi girl!” Chelsea accused with a wink. </p><p>Jess returned her wink with a thumbs up and continued towards the villa ostensibly to search for Bobby. Heading inside, a wave of relief washed over her. She wasn’t ready to deal with questions yet. If she could delay them until tomorrow, maybe she wouldn’t have to do it at all. Walking past the corridor upstairs, she spotted something. Lottie and Levi were kissing on the couch. </p><p>Hands groping, bodies entwined. She found herself knocked out of place. A queasy feeling set in her stomach. Her breath stalled. </p><p>
  <em> I guess it makes sense. They are coupled up. But still...It hurts. I thought last night meant something. That we were on the same page.  </em>
</p><p>Maybe someone wouldn’t pick her tonight? She hadn’t truly considered it as a possibility until now. Maybe Levi wants to stay with Lottie. </p><p>
  <em> Was he using me? Am I being dumb for thinking it was more than that?  </em>
</p><p>She wandered up towards the bedrooms, her mind consumed with worry. She sighed as she entered, launching herself face down onto the first available bed. </p><p>“You definitely shouldn’t be worried,” a voice called out as if hearing her thoughts. She jumped in surprise, looking over to see Bobby. Just Bobby. </p><p>“Why do you keep scaring me?” Jess asked in frustration, throwing a pillow across the room, which he deftly dodged.</p><p>“Hey, I was here first,” Bobby retorted with a faux dismissive tone. </p><p>“What are you doing skulking around here anyway?” </p><p>“I’m not skulking…,” he responded, shifting tones in a way that was his forte. “I'm very busy. Very busy and important.” Smirking, he was desperately trying to look serious. </p><p>Jess rolled her eyes, wanting to throw another pillow at him.“Ok, Bridget Jones, what are you doing? On my bed?” she asked, taking notice that he looked to be in the midst of a major cupboard reorganization. Clothes were neatly folded on Jess and Noah’s bed.</p><p>“Ok, I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell anyone,” Bobby said, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Pranks! I’m taking advantage of Noah being off on his date. I’ve hidden all of his pants.”</p><p>“Oh. That’s not much of a prank,” she said flatly. </p><p>“Aye, but it was the only thing I could think of. We’re kinda limited on supplies here.” He shrugged before putting a stack of Noah’s shirts away.  </p><p>“True, but start thinking for next time. Because you can do better.” She helped him finish putting Noah’s clothes, sans pants, back in the drawer. Sitting down on the empty bed, she waved Bobby over to join her. </p><p>“Speaking of being able to do better, what’s up with you and Noah? Worried he’s off being swept off his feet by Priya?” Bobby asked before dramatically flinging himself onto the bed. </p><p>“Har, it’s fine. I’m not expecting him to pick me tonight anyway.” </p><p>“Who are you hoping for then?” </p><p>“Honestly?” </p><p>“Aye, you can always talk to me. I have that sort of face. One that says 'trust me.'" He pointed to his cheeks, with both fingers, a huge grin on his face. </p><p>Despite a face that felt more silly than trustworthy, It seemed easier to confide in Bobby than the girls. She had a sense he wouldn’t judge her. He had this relaxed but kind energy and she did sort of trust him- at least as much as she could trust anyone here. </p><p>“Levi. I’m not sure if he’s going to pick me, though. If he doesn’t, I’ll probably end up going home. He’s the only person I’ve clicked with so far.” She avoided eye contact with Bobby until she had finished speaking. </p><p>“Are you serious? You’re a total catch. Whoever gets to go first is definitely going to pick you.”  </p><p>Jess laughed as if it was the funniest thing he could have said. “What if you go first?” she asked, keeping her eyes fixed on her hands which she had begun rubbing methodically.</p><p>“I said what I said.” Looking back at him, he seemed completely serious for the first time since she’d met him. His voice was low, his eyes softened and a committed, resolute expression appeared on his face. </p><p>It answered a question she had been wondering. <em> He fancies me, at least a little. He jokes a lot, but there’s a glimmer of something honest and real underneath it all. And he does have the prettiest amber eyes.  I could maybe like him too.  </em></p><p>As she considered him for the first time, an awkward silence lingered before Bobby continued. “If you want Levi to pick you, make sure everyone else knows it. I promise not to choose you.” He raised his hand solemnly. </p><p>
  <em> That's right, Levi.  </em>
</p><p>“Thanks, Bobby. You’re a good egg,” she smiled and bopped him affectionately on the head.</p><p>“Oh I know, I’m the human equivalent of a dippy egg,” he grinned back warmly and adjusted his posture, fidgeting with a pillow.</p><p>“Explain,” Jess challenged with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Well, I’m fun, a bit of a mess and absolutely delicious,” he said, gesturing towards himself.</p><p>“Can’t argue with that, I suppose. What-” Jess was interrupted by an excited Chelsea.</p><p>“Girl!” She paused. “And Bobby. They’re back. It’s recoupling time!!” Chels yelled as she bolted past, heading for the dressing room. </p><p>“I guess it’ll have to wait.” Jess followed Chelsea towards the dressing room. A few moments later, the rest of the girls arrived. There was a quiet tension in the room. Someone would be going home tonight. Jess put on the first outfit that jumped to mind, a classic black jumpsuit with cutouts that amplified her breasts. If she was leaving tonight, it would be in style.  She was attempting to curl her hair when Priya jumped in to assist. The girls smiled at each other and quietly continued their preparations. Priya smothered the room in various scents trying to decide which was perfect for the evening. </p><p>After everyone was dressed and ready for the recoupling, Chelsea attempted a pep talk. “Girls, I know we’re all freaking out, but it’s all going to work out fine. We just need to take a deep-”</p><p>Lottie snapped. “Seriously, Chelsea. It’s not going to be fine, someone’s going home tonight and if it’s anyone other than the outsider there will be hell to pay.” She turned to face Jess. “After you stole Noah from Priya last night, if anyone deserves to go home, it’s you.” She directed all her hateful energy towards Jess - staring her down before exiting the room. Allegra immediately followed after with a smirk. </p><p>“I genuinely don’t understand Lottie’s deal,” Jess finally said with a shrug. “There’s nothing I could have done to keep her from hating me. I hope she goes home tonight, she’s clearly one of those girls who doesn’t like other girls.”</p><p>“I’m sure she doesn’t think she’s the problem either…” Priya added. </p><p>“Anywho, recoupling time. Let’s do it, girls.” Chelsea put her arm encouragingly around a distressed Erikah.</p><p>“Did Bobby say who he was going to pick?” Erikah quietly directed towards Jess.</p><p>
  <em> Fuck, I completely forgot to ask him. He joked about picking me, but I don’t know who he’s actually going to choose.  </em>
</p><p>“I’m sorry, we didn't get a chance to talk about it, but I’m sure he would pick you over Lottie. He seems like someone who wouldn’t put up with her drama.” Jess tried to lift her spirits and assuage her justified fears. </p><p>“I guess we’ll find out,” Erikah sighed, disappointment in her eyes as she slowly walked towards the door. </p><p>A few minutes later, the islanders gathered at the firepit. There was nothing but silence and the sound of cicadas. The ladies stood awkwardly in front while the guys sat waiting to be called on. The power dynamic of the evening was evident. The girls looked equally distressed. None of the relationships were stable and that uncertainty permeated the air. All were vulnerable, contenders to be sent home on the third day. A truly humiliating prospect- no one wanted to be that person. </p><p>Jess’s nerves were a mess, she didn’t want to be that person, she wanted to stay. As dumb as it was, she needed this place- needed this break from her life to figure out who the hell she was and who she wanted to be. She wasn’t ready to go home. </p><p>Finally, a phone beeped. Noah stood up. He took a deep breath. “This girl is amazing and I’m happy for the honour of choosing her. She’s beautiful and smart and I think we could have a real future.” </p><p>Jess cast her eyes towards Priya who confidently flipped her hair, looking prepared to step forward. </p><p>“The girl I want to couple up with is…” he began, glancing at Priya before adjusting his view, “Jess.” Levi and Priya both looked surprised at his decision, but not as shocked as Jess felt.</p><p>
  <em> What the fuck? Why? Poor Priya. </em>
</p><p> Jess slowly walked over to him in a confused daze. Looking over at Priya, her face was a mixture of anger and confusion.</p><p>
  <em> Why would he have picked me? I told him he should pick Priya. Fuck.  </em>
</p><p>She caught a glimpse of Bobby who mouthed ‘told you’ at her. Jess rolled her eyes at him before reaching Noah. Without saying anything, she sat down next to him, silently fuming. </p><p>Levi’s turn came next and without a second thought, he picked Lottie. “She’s hot, fun, and I’m excited to get to know her better.” </p><p>
  <em> Really, Levi?  </em>
</p><p>It stung that he happily chose Lottie. Maybe he would have picked her regardless. Now she would never know.</p><p>Jake chose Priya and Jess clapped louder than anyone, overcompensating with all the enthusiasm she could muster. “Nice job guys, you look great together!” Guilt over Noah’s choice was already eating at her. Had she led Noah on? No, she knew she hadn’t. And it was true, Jake and Priya did look great together. They were easily the best looking of the islanders, a dream couple if there ever was. </p><p>
  <em> How amazing would they look on a magazine cover?  </em>
</p><p>Bobby picked Chelsea, which was a nice surprise to everyone except Erikah. The blonde reacted with a squeal and raced over to kiss him. He tensed at first, looking shocked and embarrassed but then her back enthusiastically.</p><p>
  <em> They’re going to be adorable together.   </em>
</p><p>In the end, it was down to Ibrahim to choose between Erikah and Allegra.</p><p>
  <em> Please choose Erikah, Please choose Erikah. </em>
</p><p>“Whoever I don’t pick is going home, but it's like The Violet Man says, sometimes being a hero means being brave and taking a chance”.</p><p>Jess looked around to see if anyone else was confused at how picking either girl could be heroic. She caught Bobby’s eye and he shrugged back at her.</p><p>“-which is why the girl I’m coupling up with is Allegra.” He looked at Erikah apologetically. </p><p>Erikah snapped back at Rahim “You know she’s using you right? Look at her. She’s literally a snake in heels.” Erikah stomped angrily before walking back towards the villa. </p><p>Allegra yelled after her, “Jealousy isn’t a good look for you, hun,” and wrapped her arms around Rahim who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.</p><p>The remaining couples drifted away from the firepit. Jess immediately fled to the kitchen to fill up her water bottle, not hiding her irritation with Noah, ignoring him as he followed behind.  He immediately dove into apology mode. “I’m sorry, but you’re the only person I like here and I didn’t want to risk you going home. I know you said you wanted us to be just friends, but I thought maybe you felt that way because of Priya? What do you think? Is there a chance for us?” </p><p>
  <em> Levi picked Lottie, he had to know staying with her would ruin any chance for us. And Noah does seem nice….  </em>
</p><p>“I’m not sure Noah, we can try. But I feel bad for Priya. Did you tell her you were going to pick me?” </p><p>“No, but she had to know it was a possibility,” he awkwardly stammered out. “I didn’t know I was going to be picking first.”</p><p>“So if you hadn’t picked first, and someone else picked me, would you have picked her and pretended she was who you wanted?” Jess asked, knowing the answer. </p><p>“I don’t know, probably. Why does it matter?”</p><p>“You should have told her she wasn’t your first choice instead of letting her find out when you picked me. Priya’s my friend. Not being honest with her was shitty of you. I'm going to find her.” Jess walked away without a backwards glance. </p><p>Instead of Priya, she bumped right into Lottie.  “Uh, sorry, I didn’t see you there.”</p><p>“Oh.”  Lottie seemed just as uncomfortable, eyes laser-focused on the bushes to her right.  For once, the witchy girl didn’t have anything to say and scurried away. </p><p>
  <em> I hope she knows she was Levi’s second choice. </em>
</p><p>Spotting Priya and Bobby over by a daybed, Jess interrupted what looked like an intense conversation. “Mind if I grab you for a sec?” Jess directed at Priya.</p><p>“You can grab me anytime.” Priya winked while Bobby quickly moved towards the kitchen, looking eager to escape the situation.</p><p>“Thanks for coming over, I don’t think Bobby was enjoying listening to me rant about what a fucking coward Noah is. He’s a sweet guy, but clams up at the first spark of conflict.”</p><p>“Happy to help! And you can rant at me anytime.” Jess shifted a bit, struggling to find the right place for her hands. “I’m so sorry about Noah, he obviously wasn’t my first choice. I can’t believe he didn’t give you a heads up. I told him this morning I just wanted to be his friend and that he should pick you.”</p><p>“I guess I would rather know now, but he literally told me you were just friends and he was going to pick me earlier. What could have changed in ten minutes?” Her voice was raised in frustration. </p><p>Jake broke up the moment to let them know Erikah was leaving. Jess pulled Priya in for a hug and they walked together to say goodbye to the first dumped islander. Erikah stiffly hugged the girls farewell, tense and bitter about her early exit. Angry and hurt, she threw parting jabs at both Ibrahim and Bobby on her way out of the villa. </p><p>“I deserve better than either of you. Rahim, you’re a coward. There could have been something real here, but you chose to stay with<em> that </em>because you’re too afraid of being the bad guy.” Erikah gestured to Allegra, who was salivating with satisfaction from being at the centre of the drama.</p><p>“And you.” Erikah continued, directing her attention to Bobby. “How old are you? You act like a child. How are you on a dating show? All you do is run around like an idiot. You didn’t even try to get to know me.”</p><p>Bobby and Ibrahim awkwardly shuffled, avoiding her eye while the dumped islander ranted, then stormed out of the villa. </p><p>
  <em> That has to be a horrible feeling- your love island experience ending before it could begin. An abrupt, humiliating end to a dream summer.   </em>
</p><p>Despite the intense exit, she was sad to see her go. She had been a sweet girl but her exit showed her to be more interesting than any of the guys had assumed. </p><p>Jess hoped one day their paths would cross again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>            </p><p> Making her way to the bedroom, Noah frantically searched through his cupboard while a few islanders watched with curious gazes. </p><p>“What’s his deal?” Chelsea asked.</p><p>“I have no idea, but he looks like he’s on a mission,” Lottie answered with a laugh.</p><p>“Seriously guys, did someone take my pants?” Noah sounded exasperated. “I need to change and I’ve looked everywhere.”</p><p>“Why don’t you just wear the ones you have on now?” Levi suggested.</p><p>Noah blushed. “I couldn't find them earlier either.”</p><p>Allegra eyed him up. “Nice.”</p><p>Bobby was stifling a laugh at Noah’s frustrated embarrassment. </p><p>
  <em> I’d feel worse for him if he wasn't such an ass to Priya.  </em>
</p><p>“Come on, who did this?” Noah began looking through other cupboards.</p><p>Chelsea threw a pair of pants at him, “These yours? I found them in my bed.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Noah gratefully grabbed them from Chelsea and hurried back to the changing room.</p><p>Jess and Bobby’s eyes met, each holding laughter in until it couldn’t be contained. Jess poked him on the shoulder as she left for the changing room. </p><p>She changed into pyjamas and brushed her teeth before returning to the bedroom. Upon entering, she was met with a piercing shriek. Normally, this would be cause for concern. But now, it was another part of life in the villa. Chelsea’s laughter had quickly become one of her favourite sounds. </p><p>“Can I be the little spoon?” Rahim asked with a huge grin.</p><p>“What? No, you’re like twice my size,” Allegra responded while climbing into their bed. Rahim frowned but pulled her in for a cuddle.</p><p>Noah returned and greeted Jess timidly, “I know things are a little weird and I’m sorry about everything. I should have handled things better and I’ll talk to Priya tomorrow about it.  But I was wondering, how do you feel about sharing a bed tonight?” </p><p>“I’m going to sleep on the daybed tonight. I’m not in a place where I can share with you. Let’s chat more tomorrow though.” Jess kissed him on his stubbled cheek. “Thanks for apologizing.”</p><p>Jess headed down, annoyed but grateful Noah’s actions had given her an excuse for privacy. She settled into the daybed, only to toss and turn, unable to fall asleep. Again. Her head was completely mixed up. Noah did seem nice, maybe things could work out between them. </p><p>If Levi had seriously wanted to be with her, why would he have picked Lottie? They clearly weren’t just friends. Levi had barely looked at her during the recoupling and completely avoided her after. </p><p>As if he had known how much he was captivating her thoughts, Levi appeared at the foot of her bed. “Mind if I join you?” he asked sheepishly. </p><p>“Shouldn’t you be with Lottie?” she flatly replied, mustering as frosty of an expression as possible.</p><p>“I would have picked you if I could have.” He frowned, sitting on the edge of the bed.</p><p>“I know. But why did you have to pick her?” she demanded, hating how whiny and jealous she sounded. This wasn't her. </p><p>“Lottie’s cool, I know she’s had it out for you, but you can’t really blame her, can you? I didn’t want to be the reason she went home,” Levi explained, shifting closer. </p><p>“I still wish you hadn’t chosen her, it complicates things for us.” </p><p>“It doesn’t need to.” Maintaining eye contact, he moved even closer until their legs were touching. </p><p>“It does.” She turned away from him. “I don’t want to be your side-chick.”</p><p>“I don’t even think you could have a side-chick in the villa. It’s too small.” Letting out a chuckle, he grazed his hands down her arm. “I fancy you. I’ll break up with her as soon as I can. I want to be with you, you know that.” His eyes shifted towards her lips. “Jess, I need you. And you need me.” Grazing her arm lightly, he moved his hand slowly up to her face. He gently caressed her cheek, testing the waters before sliding his other hand up her thigh. Her natural impulse was to pull away, but she felt herself moving closer instead.  </p><p>
  <em> Fuck, this is a bad idea. I need to stop this. </em>
</p><p>The wanting hit her with unexpected force as she pushed him away only to wrap her legs around him in response. She could feel how much he wanted her. Her body was screaming for him with unsated desire. Last night wasn’t enough, she needed more of him. </p><p>“Tell me you want me.” His voice rough but there was a pleading edge to it. </p><p><em> Maybe it was just sex? But did it matter? </em> </p><p>“I want you.” </p><p>Lottie flashed before her mind, but she pushed any thoughts of guilt down, only focusing on how good he felt. His fingers raked through her hair as he trailed his tongue down her neck, moving lower. Her back arched and she moaned softly as she grinded against him. “Jess,” he murmured, his voice deep with lust, eliminating any resolve she had left.</p><p>
  <em> I don’t know how to say no to this.  How can I say no to this? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> There is nowhere I can go. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Old life lay behind in the mists, dark adventure lay in front.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Ooooh Brunch,” Chelsea squealed loudly, waking anyone who wasn’t already up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess popped up, feigning enthusiasm, “Did someone say brunch?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sex with Levi had been nice but left her with a night of guilt-induced shame and anxiety causing her to shoot awake multiple times, before struggling to fall back asleep. As everyone else peacefully slumbered, she agonized over the life choices that had led her to this moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who was this girl who fucked someone else's guy and cheated on a partner? This wasn’t her. Except now it was. Yes, it was only Love Island and no one was in a</span>
  <em>
    <span> real</span>
  </em>
  <span> relationship. They were just ‘coupled up’, but it still felt like a violation - an indiscretion she was failing to justify. At least she didn’t have to worry about any family watching her whore it up for all of the UK. The only benefit of being an orphan. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is wrong with me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After Levi left her alone on the daybeds, she cleaned herself up, went inside, and climbed into bed with Noah. Falling asleep next to him, where she was supposed to be, alleviated some of her guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah pulled back in surprise, seeing her when awakened by Chelsea’s excited shrieks, but smiled warmly and said good morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Long tables were set up in the garden greeting the islanders with a delightful breakfast spread. Bobby bemoaned the absence of spaghetti hoops, but everyone else seemed pleased with the options. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Skirting around the table, Jess grabbed a bit of everything. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I feel like a cartoon character literally being lifted into the air by the smell.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bacon, french toast, crepes, soft boiled eggs. She didn’t have a favourite breakfast food, how could she choose when so many tasty options are available? A twinge of guilt hit her anytime she consumed meat, but she pushed the feelings down. Another thing to feel guilty about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Small bistro sets were scattered around the lawn, each with a spot for two people.  Every table was covered with a simple white linen tablecloth with a small vase of bluebells. It was pleasant, but a little basic, a contrived romantic environment. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I suppose that’s what this place is, an outlet for contrived romance.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah waved her over to a table and they sat down together. All the couples enjoying meals together, it felt nice. Something normal to disrupt the chaotic nature of the villa. Noah began cutting his french toast into tiny pieces before he chuckled and stopped. “One of these days I’ll remember I don’t need to cut up my food. But that day is not today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s an odd habit to have,” Jess remarked, curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to make my siblings food and always served them first, so it’s a hard one to break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many do you have?” she asked, before taking a bite of french toast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Four, all younger. Three sisters and a brother - I can’t wait for you to meet them when we get out of here. You’ll love them! My sister Ella is so smart, she-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Halfway listening to Noah, she smiled along as he spoke. As Noah opened up and talked about his family, she ached to be part of one. It had been ten years since her parents died, and she carried that emptiness everywhere. Even on Love Island, she couldn't escape the feelings of loneliness.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your family like?” Noah asked the question she always dreaded, looking interested in a kind and genuine way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have one anymore, only child, dead parents. That sort of thing. I would rather not talk about it.” She averted her eyes, stabbing at her slice of french toast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand. I’m always here if you change your mind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I appreciate it.” She smiled gratefully at Noah, happy to have him as a friend but couldn’t help but wonder if there could be something more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They quietly ate brunch together exchanging an occasional look. Scanning the rest of the tables made for interesting observations. Allegra and Rahim were sitting in awkward silence. It was clear to everyone else they didn’t have much in common outside the bedroom. Chelsea and Bobby were giggling up a storm. Could two more adorable people exist in this world? Chelsea was sweetness and fun personified, and while she couldn’t understand why, something was captivating about Bobby. He spotted her watching and his face shifted, comically puffing out his cheeks until she laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie was reading Levi’s palm and he seemed entranced by the act. They looked cosy and content together. Jess felt a stabbing in her gut that she couldn’t identify as guilt or jealousy. Was she inserting herself into their happy relationship? What did it say about Levi that he could fuck her one night and canoodle with Lottie the next without any guilt? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gazing over at Jake and Priya’s table, they were in deep conversation. More accurately, Priya was in deep conversation while Jake listened intently, taking in every word as if entranced by supernatural means.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back, Noah had finished eating and was watching her as she watched everyone else. “What’s your job like?” he asked, directing her attention back to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed at the thought of her work. “Exhausting. I’m loving this break right now. I think I’ve needed it for years. I’ve been a research team manager in Brazil for a while but I’m hoping to transition to a more local position near home. As I’ve gotten older, I’m more burnt out on travel and my mental health has been suffering for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good that you’re taking a break. After my Dad left and my Mum was working full time, I pushed myself pretty hard caring for everyone else in my family.” He reached for her hand as he continued. “It took me a long time to start taking care of myself. I let myself suffer for so long because I was too afraid to ask for help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, what happened?” It meant a lot to her that he felt comfortable opening up. She hadn’t expected to find genuine connections and friends, but here they were- surprising and accepting her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was hard, but I finally talked to my Mum and she got me into therapy. It helped a lot just talking about everything. I know I said it earlier, but you can always talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Noah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After brunch, Jess lounged by the pool alone. She dipped her feet in the cool water and enjoyed the intoxicating sensation of the hot sun on her skin. After about ten minutes of relaxing, the urge to be active took over.  The boredom she had feared was already setting in- it was going to be a long summer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While walking laps around the villa, she stumbled upon Jake mumbling to himself. “What are you up to?” she asked. Jake was a bit of an enigma- friendly but quiet, a calm presence in the villa, but she wondered what was hiding beneath the surface. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he replied quickly, looking nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing? It doesn’t seem like nothing,” she challenged, raising an eyebrow, hoping to uncover his mystery project. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, maybe you can help me with this. Do you think Priya likes poetry?” he hesitantly asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only one way to find out. Do you write?” Jess asked, fairly certain the answer would be a resounding yes. Jake was a romantic at heart and it was a charming trait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little bit, I’ve always loved the romanticism of poetry, it’s the ultimate romantic gesture. I’m not great at it, but I try,” Jake wistfully stated, shifting his feet awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Jake, you deserve the best. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so sweet Jake, I love it. I’m sure Priya will too.” Jake was movie star level handsome and a poet as well as a chef- what a catch. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why aren’t we all fighting over him? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dream of a return to the lost days of letter writing. A love email doesn’t quite have the same effect.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It really doesn’t,” she agreed with a quick nod of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I try it out on you?” he cautiously asked, looking nervous and desperate at whatever her answer would be.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s hear it. I promise to tell you if it’s terrible.” Jess squeezed his hand affectionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s called ‘Violets’. Roses are red, violets are blue. I really see a future with you,” he trailed off, his lack of confidence overtaking him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, that’s terrible,” Jess chuckled before noticing how serious his expression had turned. “But I’m sure Priya will appreciate the effort.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want it to be terrible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sounded frustrated. This was something that mattered to Jake, something he wanted to succeed at and she had literally laughed at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to recover, help him not be the person who made him feel less than. Why was she so bad at this? Never able to say the right things, raise her friend's spirits instead of knocking them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Jake. I do think Priya will love whatever you do. it’s tough because you don’t know her that well yet so anything too loved up will sound disingenuous. What about something like ‘Hey, I just met you, but you seem coo--oool. Let’s couple up and play in the pool.’” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure about that one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I don’t think I’d be any good at it either.” The awkwardness of the moment lingered for a few moments while Jess tried thinking of other options.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for trying. I’ll work on it some more.” Looking deep in thought, he wandered away towards the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Jake, I hope he figures it out. Priya deserves some good old fashioned romance after the debacle with Noah. And Jake is so sweet. They’ll be great together.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spotted Chelsea and Priya lounging on bean bags and made her way over to them. “Good morning ladies, you’re both looking lovely today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Samsies, girl.” Chelsea motioned for Jess to join them, looking cheerful and friendly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess settled onto an adjacent bean bag and pulled her sunglasses up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was your brunch?” Priya cautiously asked, her expression serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With some hesitation, Jess chose to admit the truth she suspected Priya wouldn’t appreciate. “Honestly, it was nice. Really nice. I’m not sure where things are going with me and Noah, but I think he will at least be a good friend. I know he handled things poorly- cowardly, but I think he’s a good guy. Has he talked to you yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not holding my breath.” She sighed, turning away but not masking her irritation. “His loss. Anyway, Jake seems nice. He’s super fit, which I like. But a little too quiet for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s going to take a bit of work to get to know him.” Jess looked over at him, hunched over in the kitchen, still at work on his poem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thankfully, I like a good challenge. And come on, look at him. I’m at least going to have some fun with him.” Priya’s lustful gaze turned to Jake leaning against the kitchen bar.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you and Bobby? Any sparks flying?” Jess directed at Chelsea. “Looked like you were hitting it off at brunch?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We may have snogged a bit last night,” Chelsea coyly revealed, biting her bottom lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some girly squeals occurred in response. “Nice going,” Priya encouraged with a nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re just having fun, but I like him!” Chelsea's excitement beamed through for all to see. "I'm taking it slow, the last thing I need is to fall into some guy's dicksand the first week here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dicksand," Priya asked, sounding intrigued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's when you're carrying on your business, you find a boy you fancy or at least his dick and it's like Ahhhhh, you fall in and can't get out. That's dicksand. It's pretty scary. But I have high hopes for Bobby, he's so funny and sweet, and a good kisser....," Chelsea continued rambling about Bobby's attributes while everyone else seemed to zone out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made Jess happy to see Chelsea happy, her energy was contagious. It made her wonder if happiness could be out there for her as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In this small moment, she felt hope. Why had she been so certain love was an impossibility on Love Island?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Had she discounted it?  Dismissed Love Island like she treated men who didn’t fit her a perfect idea of a partner. Could Levi or Noah be ‘the one’? What a strange wonderful thing it would be if they were.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt her phone vibrate followed by the telltale beep. Drawing the group’s attention, she read the text for the group. </span>
  <b>“Islanders! It’s time to see your true colours-who's squeaky clean and who likes to get down and dirty. #slimetime  #mixthingsup</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh. Let’s go get dirty” Priya shouted, adjusting her gaze towards Rahim’s abs. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How does he have so many? I didn’t realize a guy could have more than a six-pack.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At the challenge stage, there were large buckets filled with different coloured slime, each labelled with a guy's name. And a large paddling pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another message popped up letting the islanders know the rules. The boys would each be covered in different coloured slime and the girls would have to create a new colour by mixing the slime and getting it into empty jugs. All without using their hands. Simple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Slime, really?” Allegra called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, this is going to be awful, babe,” Ibrahim agreed. “My rows, I’ll never be able to get the slime out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure Bobby is going to love this,” Noah pointed out. shaking his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I will.” Jess winked in Bobby’s direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby responded with a thumbs up. “It’s like this challenge was made for me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An opportunity to grind up on the guys? Of course, Jess can’t resist.” Lottie rolled her eyes. Jess couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Lottie said “</span>
  <em>
    <span>twat </span>
  </em>
  <span>” under her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumping a bucket of red slime on Noah felt like a trust challenge. Resisting the urge to dump it on his head, she settled for his chest and arms. “Ah, it’s cold.” Noah reacted with a tense laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay, my colour is purple. Looking over at the guys, Rahim was also in red, Jake and Levi were blue and Bobby stood alone in yellow. So, I would have to go for Noah and Jake or Levi….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The timer went off and the girls raced over the guys. Allegra pushed herself in front and commandeered Noah, her petite body writhing against his torso. Allegra was a lot of things, but subtle, absolutely not.  With a shrug, Jess searched for a man in blue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya was enjoying every inch of Jake’s body, while Levi stood alone ducking some slime Bobby had thrown his way. Lottie was busy grinding on Rahim. With her happily distracted, Jess sidled up to Levi and moved against him slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fancy meeting you here.” His soft brown eyes sparkled with excitement. “Ready for a sliming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.” She smiled seductively at him, moving against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly shimming up and down on his body, she pulled her leg around his hips and they both fell to the ground. With a laugh she straddled him and continued grinding, feeling him harden beneath her. “I can’t wait to get you alone later,” he growled into her ear, making her ache for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was it about him? Had she ever felt this much for anyone? Needed anyone so desperately?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell, Jess? Get off him!” Lottie’s voice called out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stuck out her tongue in response, all guilt from the morning having disappeared. “I have to make purple. And I don’t see you entertaining him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why didn’t you go for your partner first?” Lottie demanded, pointing towards a red slime-covered Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I didn’t know you were coupled up with Rahim,” Jess snarked, genuinely curious about her choice. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was she hoping to catch me trying it on with Levi? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Allegra trusts me with Rahim, she knows I understand girl code,” Lottie said, looking towards a smirking Allegra for support. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and your girl code talk. I give you and Allegra another day before you're at each other's throats because for all your girl code bullshit, you can’t handle being friends with anyone you can’t control. I bet you’ve never had a real female friend. Grow the fuck up.” The words poured out, anger at Lottie finally bubbling to the surface. Lottie looked speechless but furious and a little sad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that your way of apologizing?” Lottie angrily shot back in a response that arrived too late to feel intimidating.     </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess ignored her, making her way back over to Noah who smiled and whispered into her ear, “you love getting under her skin don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged and rubbed up against Noah, too distracted by annoyance with Lottie to give it much effort. After Noah turned her into a perfect shade of purple, the rest of the islanders were still sliming up a storm. Jess wandered back over to Bobby who appeared to be making some sort of slime creature with excess slime at bottom of the paddling pool. “Can I help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, you’re not supposed to use your hands for this challenge.” He gestured at her slime free hands. “Wouldn’t want anyone to think you were cheating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who said anything about my hands?” she asked demurely. Jess sat down and began using her feet to move the slime together. Bobby laughed and sat down to do the same. Within moments, it turned into a slime foot battle with each giggling and trying to slime the other more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, Jess!” Chelsea yelled for her. “Time’s up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the islanders had gathered by the buckets. “Ooops, sorry.” Getting up, she ran over to the buckets to awkwardly remove her now brownish coloured slime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A text went out to Rahim’s phone, letting the islanders know Chelsea had won the challenge and would be rewarded with a spa afternoon. She excitedly ran for the jeep, shrieking enthusiastically before receiving another text telling her to shower first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to shower this goop off me.” Allegra quickly headed in the direction of the bathroom while everyone followed. Jess started to follow before noticing Lottie sitting alone by the fire pit. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She looks so sad, like a broken little girl. I may have crossed a line, Lottie acts tougher than she probably is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Cautiously, Jess walked towards her, unsure of what to say but knowing she needed to do something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked up, her eyes flashing with anger. “What do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess held her hands clenched together, </span>
  <em>
    <span>be the better person.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have gone for Levi like that and been so harsh with you. He’s your partner and I’ll try to be more respectful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave me alone. Don’t pretend you care now.” Lottie turned away, intently focusing on the firepit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do care. I’m sorry. I want us to be friends. I know I haven’t handled things well, but you haven’t either. You’ve been a huge bitch to me since I got here. I didn’t deserve that.” Jess knew it was a risk standing up for herself, but it was exhausting being the recipient of Lottie’s glares and snarky comments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Lottie gave a confused but infuriated glare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not, but it’s the truth.” Jess didn’t know how to handle someone as explosive and irrational as Lottie. Maybe honesty wasn’t the best route, but there had to be a way to get through to her. She felt it deeply. They could be friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Lottie paused, looking conflicted as if considering letting her in. "I don’t need any of this from you. Fuck off and leave me alone. And leave Levi alone.” She huffed off, stomping her feet in a dramatic way that would have been more impactful if she wasn’t wearing flip-flops on the grass.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, that could have gone better. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess joined the others in cleaning up. Despite how poorly the conversation ended, for the first time, she felt like there was hope for her and Lottie. She needed to figure out the right way to break through that icy exterior. Fucking the guy she’s coupled up with probably wasn’t the best way to succeed in becoming her friend. Annoyance at Noah flickered again. If only he had picked Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If he had picked Priya, I would be coupled up with Levi. We could have avoided this whole cheating thing. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pssst!” A small sound grabbed her attention. Looking around, she spotted Levi waving her over to the kitchen. Following him, he pulled her into a cupboard and pressed his lips against hers with a desperate intensity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm. What was that for?” she asked, moving away to assess how hidden they were.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seems safe...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just felt like kissing you.” He sighed, pulling her in for a hug that felt safe and soothing, enjoying the citrusy smell that had already become so familiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not complaining.” She looked up at him. The guilt was still there but had weakened in his embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Lottie had a go at you earlier. I wish I would have been able to pick you yesterday.” He kissed down her neck eliciting a moan from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I don’t mind being a secret for now,” she lied, almost convincing herself it was true. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully there will be another recoupling soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, we play it cool for the moment. Secret romance style. We’re like Romeo and Juliet, that had a happy ending right?” he asked, looking to her for genuine confirmation. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Has he really not read it? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhhh, definitely not. I can’t think of any secret romances with happy endings. I suppose it means we’re doomed.” She shrugged it off with a slight laugh, realizing for the first time it was probably the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This, whatever was happening between them, was wrong. Do they deserve a happy ending?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused as if considering that notion for the first time. “Nah, there aren’t any stories with happy endings. It’s not dramatic enough for people. Let’s be our own real-life happy ending. I know I need to break up with Lottie. It’s just hard.” He turned away pacing in the tiny space like a tiger trapped in a cage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was frustrating, she wanted them to be together. If she had chosen him on day two, they wouldn’t be in this mess. Exhaling slowly, she opened up. “I get it, she’s difficult. I hate this though. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>mind being a secret. And the longer this goes on the harder it will be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His brow tightened and he pulled her closer. “I like the sound of that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pushed him away, moving to the other side of the tiny room. “Me too, but the others are probably wondering where we are. I’ll go first, maybe wait a few minutes?” She didn't feel reassured by Levi, but as everyone always says..</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s still early days</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They’re supposed to be having fun, getting to know each other...it is a game after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe a snog first?” he suggested, with a cheeky expression on his face that she couldn't resist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiiine.” She moved closer, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him deeply before suddenly pulling away. “Meet me on the terrace tonight.” With a wink, she left him needing more. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a reasonably pleasant dinner and exhausting beach hut sessions, groups of islanders settled in on the lawn. The tension of the day had lessened and almost everyone appeared to be in high spirits. Jess strolled the villa solo, taking in the atmosphere and observing the islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea and Priya dragged a reluctant Lottie away for a terrace chat. Bobby and Jake were in the kitchen arguing bread-making techniques. From what Jess could tell, Bobby was trolling Jake with absurd baking tips. “I’m telling you, a wok is the best thing to proof in.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Jake, he’s trying so hard to not lose his cool. And Bobby is clearly trying so hard to not give away he’s not serious... </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to see a cooking show featuring these two. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra and Rahim were arguing about some looks he had allegedly given Priya during dinner. “I saw you with her earlier too, all cosy in the bedroom chatting. Where’s my tete-a-tete, Rahim?  You’re my guy, you’re supposed.…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess hightailed it away from that conversation, fearing if they saw her she would be dragged into taking a side. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, thank you. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Noah was sitting by the firepit alone, eyes drawn to the bright flames. Jess cautiously joined him, unsure if he wanted company. He smiled lightly at her and they sat together quietly until he broke the silence. “Sooo..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soooo...,” she imitated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your favourite thing about being here?” He asked, shifting his body towards her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the fit guys. You lads are like superhero level gorgeous. I’m loving the eye candy.” She hit him with a lingering look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny, I’m serious though,” he said, looking as serious as he claimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like the quiet. No music, no TV. Silence.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the most honest she had been in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had a love for the ambient sounds of life- a dog barking in the distance, squirrels running, the train passing by, a sudden burst of rain….Most people liked to fill their life with constant background noise. Always listening to music, TV, podcast regardless of anything else going on. Paul was like that. If he was home, the TV was on, if they sat on the patio, he played music. If they drove anywhere, he played a podcast. There was no silence in her life when he was around. There was so much noise, she couldn’t hear herself think. Maybe it was why she had stayed with him so long. She never thought to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like that too,” he agreed. “It’s my favourite part of work too. The quiet before the library opens and after it closes. For all of the chaos, there's a lack of distractions here I like. Even when lots of stuff is happening, there's only one thing to focus on. I’m not being pulled in multiple directions, letting anyone down.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is nice,” she agreed, grabbing Noah’s hand, feeling like she had found a kindred spirit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Across the lawn, Jess was alerted to an approaching Priya by the clinks of her gold bracelets. If it wasn’t bracelets, you could hear Priya a mile away thanks to her stilettos.  Never the person to blend into a crowd, Priya made her presence known and was always dressed to kill, with a matching sultry smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, can you join us?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course." After kissing Noah quickly on his cheek, she followed Priya up to the terrace. Lottie was already up there with Chelsea supportively wrapping an arm around her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, do you want us to stay?” Priya asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, but it's ok,” Lottie smiled appreciatively in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other girls left, leaving Lottie and Jess alone. Jess sat a few feet over from Lottie and looked intensely at her hands. For a couple of minutes, neither girl said anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea's squealed and Bobby's loud laughter carried through the air from the lawn, as the girls stayed quiet on the terrace.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie broke the silence. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you. I know you haven’t done anything other than exist. I’ve been pretty mean to you about Levi too. I need to be better about trusting people….I think that’s why Allegra and I bonded so quickly. We’ve both been hurt before.” She finally looked at Jess before continuing. “I used to get along with girls, I had a best friend, I was in love. I was happy. Until I found out he’d been sleeping with my friend Marisol on the side. I’m sorry I’ve been taking it out on you. Chelsea and Priya helped me realize some things. I’m going to try to be better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They exchanged a look. Lottie looked genuinely remorseful, her vulnerability on full display and Jess felt herself break a little, split in two by the guilt she now carried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for opening up, I'm sorry that happened to you. And I’m sorry if I’ve done things to make it harder for you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> want us to be friends.” Jess felt the earth open up and swallow her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How could I have done this? I am a giant piece of shit. She’s going to be rightfully furious when she finds out about me and Levi. I wonder if we’ve been stealthy enough to avoid being filmed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we start over?” She reached out her hand to Lottie who looked at it for a moment before accepting it and pulling her in for a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Lottie smiled a wide genuine smile at her for the first time. It was strange, almost unnatural but welcome. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How little she knew Lottie, maybe out of the villa she was happy and kind, not jealous and aggressive, competitive and mean. How well did she know anyone in the villa? They certainly didn't know</span>
  <em>
    <span> her</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like we’ve never actually talked before. You’re into tarot right, what’s that like?”  The guilt Jess felt over her indiscretions with Levi was nothing compared to the joy she felt from finally bonding with Lottie. After chatting for a few minutes about their interests, a closeness emerged. Possibly the beginning of a friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow, bring me your tea after you finish. We’ll do a reading,” Lottie excitedly exclaimed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds amazing, I can’t wait,” Jess gushed. “I’ve never known anyone who’s into this sort of thing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a long chat with Lottie, Jess got ready for bed, buzzing off that new friend high. When the lights turned off, she remembered.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m supposed to meet Levi tonight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As everyone fell asleep, Jess agonized over what to do. Things needed to be over with Levi, that was certain. But would they end up falling into ‘bed’ together if she went up to the terrace?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It needed to be over, she couldn't sleep until it was. As quietly as possible, Jess got out of bed and crept up to the terrace. Behind her, the sound of Levi’s steps followed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once at the terrace, he pushed her against the wall and began kissing her neck. “We have to stop meeting like this,” he teased between kisses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi, stop,” she said sternly, ignoring how good his tongue felt on her neck.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confused and surprised, he stepped back. “What’s up? I thought that-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Jess interrupted, standing firm in her decision. “But this can’t happen anymore. If you want us to be together, you need to end things with Lottie first. I can’t do this to her. It sucks we weren’t able to couple up at the last recoupling, but that’s what happened. I’m with Noah. You’re with Lottie. I’m going to give things a try with Noah. We should talk again before the next recoupling and see how we’re both feeling. But for now, this needs to be over.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi took a deep breath and walked over to the bench to sit. His brow furrowed and eyes narrowed,  he looked hurt by the news. “It does suck, but you’re probably right. Sneaking around is fun, but I haven’t liked the guilt. This place, you, I don’t know what it’s been doing to me. I'm not a cheater, it’s not who I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, I remember you standing up in ‘Never Have I Ever’,” Jess reminded him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and I still feel like shit over it. I cheated on my girlfriend while at the Olympics. But I felt so guilty about it that I came home and told her about it right away. Of course, she dumped me. But I couldn’t live with the guilt, I had to tell her.” He sighed. “I know the thing with Lottie is barely a relationship, but I feel bad not being honest with her. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like there’s some cliché in there about not being able to make everyone happy.”  She reached for his hand and sadly smiled up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True. One last kiss for the road?” He tentatively asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We probably shouldn’t. I’m going to head back.” Jess turned away from him, knowing she only had so much willpower, resisting the urge to fall back into his dicksand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’m going to stay out here for a while, clear my head a bit.”  He looked towards the sky briefly before turning back with a heartbroken expression on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight Jess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Returning to bed, Noah’s snoring had already become a dull roar. She pushed him a bit until his snoring stilled and cuddled against her pillow, watching him carefully. He was nice and cute, absolutely her type on paper. Maybe it was time to give their relationship a proper chance.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tomorrow- a new day, a fresh start. A new Jess. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Well, I am going back into the open air, to see what the wind and sky are doing!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>She wasn't supposed to be here. This place, it felt like a waking dream, or nightmare. Most days, she woke up in the villa knowing in her bones that she shouldn't be here. There was a feeling of wrongness reminding her of how inadequate she was, how not good enough she was for Love Island or anyone in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a glance at the sleeping, snoring frame beside her, for a moment she wanted it to be right. Noah was beautiful awake, but somehow even more so while slumbering beside her, despite the monstrous sounds escaping from his nose. Finally having a chance to take in those little details on his face, Jess began to appreciate how good looking he was. With an angular face, long eyelashes, and gorgeous medium brown skin, he was a particularly handsome man on an island of hotties. Her focus had been entrenched in Levi, and now that she had let go of him, Noah’s qualities were showing through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone, wake up! There’s new guys. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” There was no mistaking Chelsea’s shrieks as she jumped on her bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is going on?” Ibrahim called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn't you hear? New guys are here,” Chelsea said as she belly-flopped onto Lottie’s bed, earning a glare from the Aussie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“New guys?” Levi groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amazing,” Priya squealed, jumping out of bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t make her feel anything, the new guys weren’t for her, they couldn't be. She had enough on her plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reveal of new arrivals caused differing reactions among the group. The guys went quiet and pale, while the girls excitedly ran to the bathroom to prepare. Jess stayed in place, kissing Noah on the shoulder and settling back into her bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with you this morning? Shouldn’t you be rushing off with the rest of the girls?” he asked, sounding mildly surprised by her lukewarm response to the news. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good here, I’m not in a rush to pie you off. Yet.” She smiled before shifting into a slight frown.  “I’m sorry I’ve been a little distant, I do want to give things a shot with us if that’s still what you want.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking in Noah’s expression, it was a mixture of relief and excitement. She felt the same, knowing he still wanted her. She hadn’t ruined things between them yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, I’m relieved to hear you say that.”  His eyes shifted focus down to her lips and he moved closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She began to reciprocate the movement when Lottie’s voice called out, “cool off, love birds. It’s time to meet the new arrivals.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed. “I guess I’d better go get ready. See you down there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The last thing I need is to be caught up in any drama with the new guys. Jess, keep your head down, be polite and kind, and hope neither is your type. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Jess arrived downstairs, the group had settled around the firepit to </span>
  <em>
    <span>grill </span>
  </em>
  <span>the new guys. She could only hope someone had made that joke in her absence.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, it’s hot out today. We’re all going to get grilled in this heat. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>From a distance, she took in the new arrivals. Both were short with pale skin, but that was where the similarities ended. One was a bulky blond, with a matching beard and tattoos. Giving off boisterous lad vibes, he appeared to be in the midst of telling a story. The other had short black hair, a small frame, and dressed like a moody emo hipster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a sigh of relief. At the very least, neither was her type on paper. With a smile, she joined the group taking an open spot next to Allegra who scowled at her arrival.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby noticed her and called out, “Jess, this is Gary,” pointing at the blond bloke. “He’s a crane operator and has talked about his nan more times in five minutes than I’ve had cupcakes. And I love cupcakes.” He gestured to the other guy. “And this is Kassam. He’s a DJ and that’s literally all he’s said. So, you're all caught up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could eat a cupcake right now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Bobs,” she called out, gratefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My pleasure,” he returned with a nod and a wink.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you both,” she directed to the newbies who returned the pleasantries politely. Upon closer inspection, Gary had lovely bright blue eyes. Kassam glanced at her and immediately averted his gaze dismissively. Even though he wasn’t her type, the rejection stung. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you boys into?”  Allegra inquired. The question was posed to them both but her eyes were hungrily fixed on Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me, it’s either Chelsea or Lottie. Maybe Jess, but her dance card is already pretty full,” he said looking towards her with a wink. “It’s hard to know yet. Get ready for some competition, boys.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Attention was pulled to Kassam who just replied, “gotta be Lottie,” in response. Lottie tried to hide her smile, while Levi scowled and looked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess frowned. Ending things with Levi had been the right call but it still hurt to see him openly jealous at someone's interest in Lottie. She hadn’t realized he felt so strongly about her.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They snogged too much to be just platonic. I should have taken it as a sign.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Selfishly, she hoped one of the new guys would turn her head. If Lottie moved on to one of the new guys, maybe there was hope for her and Levi?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What's wrong with me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Guilt over leading Noah on hit her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I literally just told him this morning I wanted to give things a try with him. I can’t pie him off the moment Levi is available.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back over at Levi, she reminded herself she needed to let him go. At least for now. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder what the new guys know. They both said they like Lottie, will they tell her about me and Levi? I should try to get one alone and at least find out what’s aired. Gary is the obvious choice. He’s certainly chatty.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning her attention back to the group, Gary was regaling them with a tale of taking his Nan up in a crane. It already seemed on-brand for him.  “She was so furious with me afterwards, she washed my mouth out with soup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soup, not soap?”  Allegra asked the question on everyone’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve never had my Nan’s soup.” He winked Allegra and she smiled lightly at the attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s going to be a lot of fun around the villa. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Romantically he wasn’t her type, but he had a fun vibe. Kassam, on the other hand, was a quiet ball of negative energy. It was hard to imagine him adding any levity to the villa. Just looking at him made her a bit sleepy and disgruntled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby suggested taking Gary and Kassam on a tour of their new home. The guys left while the girls headed to the pool to lounge and dish on the new fellas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...what does everyone think?” Chelsea asked the moment the boys were out of earshot. “Lottie, you're pretty popular.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” she said, letting out a small sigh. “They’re both a bit of me, to be honest. Gary’s body is incredible, but I’ve dated blokey bloke guys in the past and it’s never worked out. And Kassam seems sweet and he’s definitely interesting- quiet and mysterious. I bet he’d make me a mixtape. He’s absolutely my type on paper. It’s like he was made for me. I don’t think things are clicking with Levi so my head could be turned. Scratch that. Is turned. In two sexy directions.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you don’t want Gary, send him my way,” Allegra whined, glaring at Priya. “If Rahim can’t stop drooling over Priya, I might need a new guy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my fault. I paid a lot for these, can’t blame the guy for paying attention.” She gestured to her chest with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth,” Jess agreed, glancing down at Priya’s ample purchase and giving an approving nod. “What about you Chelsea? Gary mentioned being into you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He...he might be. I might like him. But I like Bobby too,” Chelsea cautiously admitted. “I just already feel things cooling down between me and Bobby. Maybe we’re too alike? I dunno.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only been a few days, I don’t think anyone’s committed yet. We should be using this time to explore our options without feeling guilty. As long as we’re all honest with each other of course,” Priya carefully stated, looking over at Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here here.” Chelsea held out her hand, offering a fake toast. “To grafting, friendship style.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guys emerged from the house, walking towards the girls with purpose. Bobby yelled out, not able to wait until they were closer, “Oi, everyone. I got a text! The new guys get to pick two girls to take out on a date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The groups joined together as the focus turned to the newest islanders and their choices in dates for the afternoon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kassam, who are you picking?” Rahim asked, looking over at Priya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I just pick Lottie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you have to pick two,” Bobby said, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, Lottie and Priya,” Kassam quietly announced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary? What about you?” Rahim directed to the other newbie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie and Chelsea,” Gary immediately answered. Lottie gave a slight smirk upon hearing her name- she had dates with both of the new guys and knew how to play it cool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like Lottie is the order of the day. Go, girl.” Jess feigned excitement, hoping no one would notice it wasn’t entirely genuine.  She was happy for Lottie, but she needed answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Neither picked me. I need to find out what they know. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra grumbled, looking like an angry gremlin as she scowled Lottie’s way. Lottie, Priya, and Chelsea left to get ready for the dates, leaving Allegra and Jess with the guys. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need an excuse. Gary. Crane. Blonde. Nan. Big. Strong. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gym. He’s got to be a total gym rat. Look at those arms.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary, you look like you work out, have you seen the gym yet?” she asked, brazenly eying up his biceps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for noticing.” He flexed with a cheeky smile. “And I haven’t yet, we got a text before making it there. Stopped at the lounge, it was an underwhelming end of the tour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, let me show you while the ladies are off getting pretty. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Prettier</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She corrected, grabbing his arm and directing him towards the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanted to get me alone did you?” His blue eyes twinkled excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but probably not for the reason you think.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, I can think of lots of reason for a bird like you-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess interrupted, “I want to know what you know. What’s aired. About me?  Please, can you tell me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary sighed, “Uh, I mean. I know about you and Levi. It’s been a big thing online.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, it has, we’ve given the UK the perfect trashy drama to obsess over. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck. Are you going to tell Lottie? Do you think Kassam will tell her? We just started getting along and this is going to ruin everything. I already broke things off with him.” Jess could feel the colour draining out of her as the panic set in and her breath abandoned her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, calm down. Just breathe.” Gary put his hands on each of her shoulders. “I’m not going to tell her, and I don’t think Kassam would either. I’ll talk to him about it. But you probably should tell her. She’s going to find out eventually and it’s better coming from you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking deep breaths, she pulled herself back together. Looking into Gary’s concerned eyes, a feeling of relief took over. Gary was trustworthy, he wasn’t going to run straight to Lottie and spill her dirty secret as a way to get into her pants.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Gary. Really, thank you. I will tell her. I know I have to, but maybe I should wait until she’s happily coupled up with a nice guy like you. She just stopped hating me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a good feeling about Lottie, you’ll be fine. But you owe me,” he said as he offered her a fist bump to solidify the ‘deal’.  Seeing the ladies emerge from the house, he nodded farewell and left to greet them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie had dressed to kill in a tight leather mini skirt Gary couldn’t take his eyes off of while Kassam failed to avert his eyes. The two men couldn't be more different but both were crushing hard on the Wiccan goddess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was grateful they were both into Lottie. She wanted Lottie to be happy and selfishly It helped alleviate the guilt. If Lottie chose to move on from Levi, it meant Jess didn’t sabotage a relationship. They just didn’t work out. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope she’s completely over Levi before she finds out. It’s all I want. Then, I won’t have to deal with any consequences.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span> Because I’m a fucking coward. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the group left the villa, Bobby rushed over to Jess, looking at her conspiratorially. “Ok, we have at least an hour before they’re back. Wanna brainstorm prank ideas to get Gassam?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gassam?” Jess raised her eyebrow at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s what I’m calling Gary and Kassam. Gassam.” Bobby gestured animatedly while introducing the concept, using one hand to represent Gary and the other Kassam and pulled them together dramatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Kary?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yeah, that's better. But I like Gassam more." He looked towards her, a curious look fixed on his face. “You in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely.” With an enthusiastic nod, she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bean bags.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, so my first idea, we fill a manila envelope with shaving cream and put it under the door-” he suggested, double-checking first that no one was lurking near them as he fell backwards into the bean bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going to get a manila envelope?” She asked, incredulous, pulling a bag closer before setting in next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good point.” He looked thoughtful. “Do you have anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You bake. What if we make them a welcome cake and instead of frosting, we cover it with mayo. A friend of mine did that back in uni and it was pretty funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm,” he pondered, stroking an imaginary beard. “I like the concept, but I don't know if I could ruin a cake. Even for the sake of a prank.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on...it’ll be fun. We can make two cakes, and only ruin one of them, then we get to eat cake. I love cake. Not as much as cupcakes but still...Pleeeeasse Bobby,” she begged, trying to enlarge her eyes and pout her lips as much as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, but only because I can’t resist those eyes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew they were good for something.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him sweetly before they headed over to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Bobby fell into a comfortable rhythm, with Jess acting as sous chef and pulling out the ingredients while Bobby talked through the process of what he was doing. He was in his element in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s adorable how serious he’s taking this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>After mixing the batter and putting the cake pans in the oven, Jess dramatically put her hand up. Bobby reciprocated with a high five. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s such a blast to hang out with. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, how did you get into baking?” she asked, hoping for some genuine insight into his life. He was the villa enigma, she needed to figure him out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I'm ready to get into my life story yet, but let’s say it involved magic, blocks of meat, and Victorians,” he teased, only serving to increase her curiosity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright then, keep your secrets. I don’t know how to talk to you sometimes.” Jess feigned annoyance but hadn’t expected much from him. “What’s up with your accent?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s less Scottish than other Scottish people I’ve known.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a compliment or an insult? And how many Scotts have you known?” Raising an eyebrow, he grinned at the line of questioning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Neither and a few. I was curious, I can understand 73% of what you say, which is pretty good.” She returned his eyebrow raise with one of her own, daring him to reveal a secret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I did a few plays in high school…,” he admitted, averting his eyes, feigning embarrassment. The smile hiding at the corner of his lips giving him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhh you were a theatre kid! So cool.” Jess was unsurprised by the reveal but impressed nonetheless. Bobby was the most theatrical person she had ever met, of course, he’d had practice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m nothing if not the coolest. And it was fun. I was trying to impress a girl, it didn’t work but I learned how to do funny voices and I guess, dull my accent a bit. But if you’re into it, I can turn it back on. After all, whit's fur ye'll no go by ye,” he said in an exaggerated accent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I have no idea what you’re saying but it is pretty sexy,” Jess snickered loudly, leaning against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It kinda is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“My bonnie wee lassie, blythe and cheerie wee Lassie,” Bobby said, testing it out. “Is this doing it for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, talk more Scottish to me baby,” she teased as they both broke down giggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you two up to?” A sweaty looking Jake appeared, empty water bottle in hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re making a cake,” Bobby quickly answered, returning to his task.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And being Scottish,” Jess added, bumping her hip lightly against Bobby’s before moving over to sit down opposite the guys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cake? In this heat?” He asked, rightfully incredulous at their task. It was the hottest day so far in the villa, with most of the islanders seeking out shady spots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cake is too delicious to restrict to cold weather seasons,” Jess explained. “What have you been up to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, just worked out with Rahim. He’s intense, it makes for a nice challenge.” Jake refilled his water bottle and took a long drink, some spilling down his face and landing on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Working out? In this heat? Madness. Jake, how did you get into cooking?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My Mum taught me and it clicked for me at a young age. It was satisfying trying new techniques and creating new recipes. I’ve always felt comfortable in the kitchen, like it was where I was supposed to be,” Jake matter-of-factly responded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See Bobby, that’s how you answer a question.” She smiled widely at him while gesturing towards Jake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try to be more like Jake. I don’t know if I’m tall and handsome enough, but I’ll work on it.” Bobby rolled his eyes and pouted dramatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They chatted a bit with Jake before finding an excuse to get him out of the way to finish frosting their cakes. Jess put a giant layer of mayo between two of the cake sections and atop one while Bobby beautifully decorated the other with the buttercream frosting they had made earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After both tasks were complete, Jess turned to him. “We should wait until after dinner to pull this out, it’ll be less obvious at night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea, we make a swell team.” He held up his hand to high five, and when she moved forward he instead booped her nose with a frosting covered finger. “Boop.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you seriously just boop me? With frosting. I have to look ridiculous.” She looked around for a mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, and I think you look delicious.” He said, dramatically pretending to eat her nose before Jess pushed him away with a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get you back for this. When you least expect it. You won’t even know what hit you.” She couldn’t hide the gleeful anticipation of her threat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I presume it will be a boop.” He beamed at her, touching his own nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of swell teams, how are things with Chelsea?” She asked, hoping his answer would match Chelsea’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It would be awful if one of them was into the other. And the other just wanted to be friends...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitated. “They’re good. She’s sweet and fun. I don’t know, she’s cool, and I like her. I just…I’m not sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That seems to be how a lot of people are feeling about their couples. It’s still the early days, I’m kinda glad there hasn’t been a day one super couple dominating the villa. It makes things more fun that no one is really attached yet.” Jess said, honestly relieved. It did make everything easier. Anything could happen at the next recoupling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad to hear you and Noah haven’t morphed into a monstrous single entity yet,” Bobby teased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lightly punched him on the shoulder, noticing Lottie walking across the lawn over his shoulder. “Look, everyone’s back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to look, and she booped him on the nose before running in the direction of the returning group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls immediately retreated to the dressing room to discuss the dates. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, spill. What did you think of the new guys?” Allegra demanded. “Do you like them more than Levi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie smiled in a self-satisfied way. “I clicked with both. It feels like ‘Levi, who? The more time I spend with him, the more I feel like we aren’t right for each other. Physically, we’re totally into each other, but we don’t vibe outside the bedroom.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you done bits yet? I’m not totally sure about me and Bobby, but man could I go for some bits.” Chelsea bit her lip at the prospect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Little bits, no big bits yet,” Lottie answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why does that make me feel a tiny bit better? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to say, I love having options. It’s nice knowing us girls won’t be in danger with so many boys in the villa.” Priya happily sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you think of Kassam?” Jess directed at Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s ok, a bit too quiet for me. And I can’t get past his chipmunk face,” Priya answered, her focus fixed on brushing her hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chipmunk face?” Lottie scrunched up her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he looks like a chipmunk. Something about his eyes.” Priya put down her hairbrush and tried to clarify. “I can’t explain it, they’re big and his face is small. It’s weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see it,” Chelsea agreed. “It’s his weak chin. It’s a real thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s true.” Jess jumped in to defend the new guy though she could see their point. It felt wrong to be discussing any of the islanders this way. She would hate to know that they spoke about the girls this way, dissecting their flaws, comparing them. It didn’t feel right, especially knowing their insults would be televised for all of their friends and family to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It makes me wonder what people are saying about me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The islanders, the viewers, they would all have opinions about her.  She shuddered at the horrible things people could be saying about her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Slag. Ugly. Stupid. Narcissistic. Bitch.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The worst part was knowing they may be right.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“He absolutely doesn’t look like a chipmunk,” Lottie defended, already a little protective about Kassam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m not into Gary, but it's nice getting a guy in here with some chat. I like the guys we had already, but some are lacking in the banter department,” Priya said- something everyone had probably been thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jake, Levi, Rahim, and Noah were rather dry. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra jumped in to agree. “Yes. They’re all so chill and quiet. Other than Bobby. But he might be too extra for anyone other than Chelsea. And even she doesn’t want him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Chelsea and Jess simultaneously responded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls exchanged a look before Jess continued. “I just think he’s fun and sweet, I don’t think we should discount him. He could find someone.” Jess looked away. “If things don’t work out with Chelsea, I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie shrugged. “Look, we all like Bobby-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t,” Allegra interrupted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie ignored Allegra’s interjection and continued, “He’s a great guy. But he needs to take himself a little more seriously if he expects any of us to. I’m not sure why he’s here, I haven’t seen him try it on anyone. He barely even seems to like Chelsea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have it on good authority he likes me just fine.” Chelsea winked and laughed. “That’s not our problem at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But there is a problem?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea let out a deep sigh.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knock on the door was heard. “Ladies, may I enter?” Rahim’s voice called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, babe,” Allegra answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rahim entered the room, his eyes widening at the chaotic mess that was the girl’s dressing room. “We got a text. There’s going to be a welcome party for the new guys tonight after dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OMG, drinks, music, dancing. New guys. Today is the best day,” Chelsea shouted out as Rahim quickly made his exit.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It really is,” Priya agreed. “I forgot to tell you, Jake recited a poem for me today, it was hideously bad and cheesy but adorable. He’s such a sweetie. With a fantastic bum.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so cute it hurts,” Lottie said. “The poem, not the bum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right? It may be his finest feature. I’m going to do all sorts of things to him later. Anyway, I want to look fit tonight. Even more so than usual.” Priya fluffed her hair and posed for the mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took one last glance in the mirror, her hair perfectly, loosely curled, falling just above her shoulders. She bounced a couple of times, trying to be subtle but needing to make sure her boobs would stay in place. The jumpsuit she had chosen was one of her favourite looks, dark navy blue, with wide straps forming a deep V, that looked incredible but barely covering her breasts and offered little support. She could only hope the tape keeping them secure and safe would hold.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She exhaled, a wide smile forming as realized how good she looked this night. “Let’s do this,” Jess yelled out as Chelsea cheerfully booty bumped against her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone need a spritz?” Priya asked, waving one of her many perfume bottles as the girls put the final touches on before heading for the party. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> Jess walked through the lawn, taking it all in. The villa had been transformed and was decadently decorated with floral displays. Neon lights swirled in time with the techno music pulsating loudly. The girls emerged from the house and took in the enhanced villa nightlife. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Thank you,” Chelsea called out, looking to the sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya immediately ran off after spotting the stocked bar of craft cocktails for the group. In a flash, Chelsea had already hit the dance floor. Kassam and Lottie were quietly chatting by the firepit, sitting close together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She spotted Bobby and Gary chatting together, her pastry chef friend letting out a booming laugh at something Gary had said. There must have been something in the air, Bobby wasn’t wearing one of the many tacky shirts he owned, instead dressed in a white jacket with a black vest, bow tie and black pants. But in classic Bobby form, still a bit off, the look completed with brown dress shoes. It was a strangely formal look for the casual party atmosphere. Maybe he was trying to impress Chelsea.  He pulled it off, his soft brown skin popping against the white, the suit perfectly tailored for his lean build.  His smile was captivating, somehow he looked more confident, self-assured showing this other side to himself. He cleaned up well, especially standing next to Gary whose jeans were ripped, destroyed in a way that looked natural rather than trendy. He wore glasses, did he need them? He wasn’t wearing them earlier. His flannel shirt made him look more at home in the pacific northwest than on an island in Spain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chuckled to herself at the strange pairing of me, catching Bobby’s eye, he winked at her. She returned his wink with one of her own, blowing him a kiss and turning to join Chelsea on the dance floor.    </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night air had cooled and despite the chaos of new arrivals, spirits were high. Gary added a needed energy boost to the villa and was moving through the crowd effortlessly mingling with all. Ibrahim had mixed up a batch of Violet Man drinks, a spicy concoction that served to level Gary’s over-inflated ego. The crane operator was not a heat seeker and responded with pained coughs after a large sip of the spicy beverage. Priya, Chelsea, and Allegra spent most of the evening on the dance floor while Lottie kept switching between conversing with Kassam and Gary.  It was bizarre to watch how she interacted with each. With Gary, she was light, teasing, and snarky. Turning to Kassam, it was as if a light was switched off. Her mood darkened into a focused, meditative intensity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby appeared at Jess’ side with a cocktail and whispered into her ear, “twenty minutes. You should bring it up, it’ll look less suspicious coming from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded and took a sip. “This is delicious, what is it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A Bobby 75,” he answered, bringing a finger to his chin in an attempt to pose suavely </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess gave him a hard, questioning look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gin, lemon juice, sugar, and champagne. Some people call it a French 75. But I call it a Bobby 75.” He sighed and took a sip of his drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can do better,” she said, letting a small smile emerge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You put a lot of pressure on a guy,” he replied stoically, with lightness in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe in you.” She patted him on the head affectionately, and at that moment, realized how much she genuinely liked him. Their friendship mattered to her. It was too soon to feel this way, but he was someone she felt completely comfortable with. It was strange, but there was a lack of pressure from him that was needed. He didn’t share much but didn’t require her to share anything in return. The stakes felt low and it made her feel like maybe she could open up to him. Trust him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spotted Kassam sitting alone, a giant set of headphones around his neck, nodding along to the music. It was a bizarre sight. Listening to music on headphones was an impossibility on Love Island. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What was the point? If he thinks he looks cool, he’s wrong. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Excusing herself from Bobby, she walked in his direction. He was shy which made her nervous. It was easier to interact with someone who could confidently carry through the lapses in conversation. Kassam and his quiet nature scared her a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi there Kassam,” Jess cautiously spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I think being too enthusiastic is going to scare him off. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He reacted casually with a nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s your deal?” she asked, sitting beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want, like, my whole life story?” His face remained neutral, giving nothing away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe just the good bits?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Grew up in Newcastle, got into techno and now I’m a DJ. That’s about it.” He looked away, focused on Lottie and Gary dancing together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice, do you get to travel?” Jess asked, drawing his eye back to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lot these days. I spend about half the year in Berlin. Clubs over there are intense.” He grabbed at his ear strangely but kept his focus on Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s dj-ing like? I’m pretty out of touch with culture these days. I didn't know it was a job outside of weddings until recently.” Jess asked, slightly embarrassed at how uncool she was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s sick. Meeting people, playing tunes - the whole scene. It’s wicked. It’s cool here, but I miss my music.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Kassam, he was still staring blankly off into the distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Should I leave? Is that rude? It feels rude.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem deep in thought.” She finally broke the silence, pointing out the obvious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I wasn’t thinking about anything. Just enjoying the moment, taking it all in, you know? Don’t you ever do that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked away towards the dance floor watching Ibrahim awkwardly attempt to do the worm before failing and turning it into a pushup. “I guess I do that a lot.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or I would if I could turn off my brain for 10 seconds. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Life can feel like it’s rushing by so fast. It’s good, once in a while, to just, like absorb it. Otherwise, I feel like weeks at a time go by and I can barely remember them,” he said casually, too casually to feel natural.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wondered how often he had rehearsed that mantra, testing out the right way to make it sound cool and thought-provoking like he’d just thought of it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ok, hipster Ferris Bueller.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Like when someone asks you how your weekend was and you haven’t got a clue?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. That’s exactly it. I try to communicate my experiences, what I absorb, into my music. No one will ever get that, except me. I can lie back, listen to one of my tracks and it helps sort my memories out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He seriously thinks he is profound, it’s hilarious. He seems nice and all...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The track I create from being here is going to be immense, even if I’m not like, here that long. I can feel it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stifling a laugh, she nodded along, hoping he didn't notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Lottie are clicking, right?” Jess looked over at Lottie who was laughing at something Gary was saying as they moved to the music. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s cool. And yeah. I can’t see things working out with her and Levi.” He sent a pointed look her way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for not bringing it up. You know,” Jess replied, genuinely grateful for his discretion even if he was pretty lame.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cool. I’m not one for gossip. Not my style.” He shifted away, returning focus to the music.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s nice, but a bit too intense. I wonder if Lottie will pick him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, thanks. I’ll catch you later, I’m going to go hit the dance floor.” Jess made her escape, bee-lining it towards the group of dancing islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a couple of dances with the girls, Jess sought out Bobby to execute their prank. She didn’t have high hopes for the reactions, but it was fun to do something that made Bobby happy. He had quickly become one of her favourite people and it warmed her heart to share the experience of dumb pranks with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled the mayo cake out of the fridge and called Gary and a few of the others over. Kassam had disappeared, but Gary seemed the more gullible of the two and thus the easier prey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made cake, d’aww. Thanks, beautiful.” He wrapped an arm affectionately around Jess’ shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rahim handed Gary a glass of his spicy Violet Man speciality. “You forgot your glass, it’s still full. We don’t waste booze on Love Island.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Normally, I don’t either. But I’m going to have to make an exception for this one, bruv,” Gary replied, placing the drink back on the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby cut him a slice while Jess hoped Gary drank enough not to catch the whiff of mayo permeating the air. Bobby continued slicing, handing pieces of cake off to Rahim and Noah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary gratefully accepted and dove in with a giant first bite. “Oi, this tastes...what is this?” His face scrunched up with a confused expression. He returned his fork to the cake and took another bite. He let out a slight gagging sound and paused thoughtfully. “Bloody hell, Is that fucking mayo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stifled a laugh and shrugged. Rahim had also taken a bite and was spitting it back out onto his plate while Bobby let out a booming belly laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine fine, I get it.” He reached for his drink, forgetting his closest beverage was now a glass of the Violet Man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. Ah,” he called out, turning red as Lottie and Kassam approached. Lottie grinned, taking pleasure in the physical pain Gary was suffering. She offered him a glass of milk and pulled him away from the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon after, Noah approached Jess. “Want to sneak away for a bit? I haven’t had a chance to talk to you all night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Terrace?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lead the way.” With a coy smile, he reached for her hand and led her towards the terrace stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Following Noah up the stairs, she heard quiet voices coming from the terrace. She and Noah exchanged looks before emerging onto the terrace to see Levi and Priya sitting closely conversing. Priya jumped away as she noticed them enter while Levi avoided eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her stomach dropped at the sight, it hurt, but somehow she wasn't surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm going to head back down,” he said quickly as he made his exit, briskly passing as if Jess and Noah weren’t there.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With an eye raise, Jess looked back at Priya. “You two looked cosy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too cosy. This shouldn't bother me. This shouldn't bother me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya took a deep breath. “Don’t tell Lottie, I know she’ll freak but he’s been grafting pretty hard on me today. I think he’s scared about the new guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like him?” Jess asked, trying to hide her disappointment at how quickly Levi had moved on.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We literally broke up last night. I didn’t mean anything to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, he’s fine. Seems like a bit of a sleaze. I’m not sure about Jake either, but at least I trust him not to pie me off and be a prat about it.” Priya briefly glanced at Noah. With a sigh, she continued, “I think there might be something between me and Rahim. I know he’s not exactly happy with Allegra and he’s been sending out vibes. Or at least horrible pickup lines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you blame him? You’re smart, beautiful, and sexy. He’d be a lucky guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s a girl to do? So many fit boys, only one me. I’m gonna head back to the party. You two have fun.” Priya waved and headed towards the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, we’re finally alone.” Noah pulled her closer, his arm settling on her hip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled her arms around his neck. “We are.” A warm, spicy scent enveloped her as she drew him closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s actions tonight had solidified her decision to break off whatever was happening with him. She hoped for more, but in the end, it was just good sex. She was proud of herself for escaping from the dicksand, breaking things off before getting too deep. It had been too long since she’d been properly fucked and she had needed it. Needed him. But now that her carnal needs had been satisfied, she felt ready for a real partner. And Noah was the definition of a real adult partner- the kind of guy a girl would be proud to take home to their parents if they had any.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d really like to kiss you now.” She looked into his eyes and could see how much he wanted her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned and leaned in, tilting her chin up with his hand, meeting her lips with a kiss that was sweet and fiery all at once. Pulling her even closer, he intensified the embrace, desperately grasping at her, trying to eliminate the space between them. She let out a light moan as he moved his hand slowly down her back and grabbed her ass. Jess immediately tensed up in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This didn’t feel right. It was wrong, too soon or something else entirely. Her body was screaming for her to get out of there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to take things slow.” Jess pulled back, stepping away from him. “I like you, but I don’t want to rush things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, I’m fine with that too. We should probably head down, I’m sure everyone is wondering where we are,” he said with a tight smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go get our dance on,” she grinned, kissing him one last time softly on the lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed her on the forehead before leading her down the stairs towards the sounds of music and energetic islanders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she and Noah danced, she caught sight of Bobby on the other side of the dancefloor, smiling at Chelsea as they danced together. They looked happy, causing her stomach to sink and chest to tighten. Jealous of how happy they were?  His eyes widened as he caught her watching and she averted her eyes, returning her gaze to Noah as he danced beside her. Not smiling at her the same way Bobby smiled at Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess ached at the wrongness of it all, she shouldn’t be bothered that Chelsea and Bobby were smitten. Her and Noah may get there too, only having just shared a first kiss. There had been sparks, maybe they could ignite into something more solid and long-lasting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Bobby looking at her expectantly. “Can I borrow you? I promise to return you unscathed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess chuckled. “How can I resist an offer that good?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t.” He shrugged, a mischievous glint in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waved to Noah, letting Bobby take her arm and lead her off the dance floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up buttercup?” she asked as the music died down and they moved away from the crowd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised a brow, continuing to walk, practically skipping with enthusiasm. “It’s a surprise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, they came upon a hidden corner of the grass, bathed in lights from above, but otherwise empty, hidden from the prying eyes of other islanders. A blanket and a picnic basket sat on the ground in front of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s all this?” she asked, taking in the sight with a significant amount of amazement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to thank you for helping me, with the prank I mean. He grinned sheepishly and gestured to the blanket. “Sit, sit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you have done if I had worn a dress?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotten a show,” he answered with a cheeky smile. She jabbed him lightly in the stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” exclaimed rubbing his stomach before erupting into laughter as they sat down together on the blanket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat cross-legged, Bobby next to her, legs sprawled out. He reached into the basket beside him and pulled out a container.  He popped off the top, keeping its contents hidden. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Close your eyes,” he instructed with a smirk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiiine,” she answered, covering her face with her hands, leaving a small gap between two fingers as she looked to see what Bobby was up to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a grumble, she obeyed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, you can open them,” he said a few moments later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened her eyes to see a cupcake placed before her. She erupted into laughter, somehow not surprised. A white cupcake with vanilla frosting with a strawberry placed on top.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spread open his arms, “You said you liked cupcakes more than cake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did that for me? You’re the sweetest.” She leaned over, placing a kiss on his smooth cheek, almost intoxicated by the sweet smell of his neck, it was like he had bathed in cookie dough. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They exchanged a long look, he opened his mouth snapping it quickly shut again.  She caught herself taking a quick glance at his lips, knowing how nicely they would feel against hers. The memory of their challenge kiss from the other day still burning in her mind. While she and Bobby were meant to be just good friends, her body seemed to have other ideas, encouraging her to reach out and crash her lips against his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook it off, this place, it was turning her into a sex-starved maniac. Tomorrow, would she be fantasizing about Ibrahim? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for the strawberry on the cupcake, dipping it into the frosting and taking a bite.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, so good,” she moaned, looking over to Bobby approvingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you haven’t even gotten to the good part.” He wiggled his eyebrows, as she burst out laughing beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, she pulled down the wrapper and took a huge bite of the cupcake, stuffing her mouth with the sweet treat to Bobby’s shock. His mouth gaped as she awkwardly chewed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lass, my treats are meant to be savoured not slammed like it’s a competition to see who can eat the most in an hour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess bobbed her head, trying to quickly swallow “I bet I could win,” she answered gleefully.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised a brow, “I accept your challenge.” Bobby pulled over the container which held seven more perfectly frosted cupcakes. Taking one of the strawberries off, he followed her example dipping in the frosting and taking a satisfying bite, his eyes not leaving hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was strangely sexy, his lips around the strawberry, making her wonder how his lips would feel on her in other places.  The heat rose in her chest, and she felt her cheeks burning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked away, instead of reaching for him, she grabbed another cupcake, eager for the tasty distraction. He held his cupcake out towards her and she tapped her cupcake against his, a toast of sorts before each taking a bite.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat together under the stars, eating cupcakes and enjoying the company. It felt like a perfect moment, and she couldn’t think of a more perfect friend to share it with. She had really lucked out, landing Bobby as a friend, and wanted nothing more than to keep him in her life.   </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The way is shut.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Fast-moving zombie cows chased Jess through an abandoned city. Running towards a dilapidated building, it decayed before her eyes. “Help,” she called out, changing directions, as her voice echoed into the distance. Running quickly as her breath failed her, she looked back, tripping and falling to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could hear the approaching hoofs moving closer. As they swarmed her, one of the cows opened wide, pressing its face close. Looking into the black eyes with its teeth bared in rage, she felt unable to fight back. Frozen to the ground, paralyzed by fear.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shot up in a cold sweat. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait, cows? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why are my nightmares so weird?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The bedroom was dark, Noah slept loudly beside her. Jess reached for her phone before remembering it was pointless. It was impossible to tell how far she was from sunrise. The scops owl known to frustrate the islanders' sleep was making its presence known. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, she gave up and moved outside. Some fresh air would be more satisfying than her current exercise in futility. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peaceful. It was nice. Just being there, enjoying the tranquil energy of the early morning. Settling in on a daybed, it was easy to forget about the cameras, the potential drama that could erupt at any time, and her conflicting feelings about Noah and Levi. And possibly Bobby after yesterday. There had been a moment between them, a spark at the very least that felt more intense than anything she had felt for Noah and Levi. But the moment had passed, she needed them to remain friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of it mattered in the grand scheme. In two months (or less if she was unlucky), she would leave here and go back to normal life- or at least a new normal life. The islanders all lived in such scattered places around the UK that if she didn’t want to, she wouldn't have to see any of them again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>During the day, it was easy to be caught up in the excitement and pressure of coupling up, hoping to find a perfect match and win $50,000. But at night she remembered that odds were, no one would find lasting love here. Love Island relationships tended to fall apart within months of leaving the show. The physical distance, increase in fame, and compatibility issues in the real world were obstacles almost impossible to overcome. Love Island couples were set up to fail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It should've been a disappointing realization, but instead, it calmed her. Knowing whatever relationship she ended up in probably wouldn't work out anyway lowered the stakes and made things simpler. That’s why she came here. Coupling up on Love Island was more relationship simulation than genuine romance. The thought gave her comfort and made the drama heading her way more palatable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was lulled to sleep by the comforting knowledge that none of this mattered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And awoke to the sounds of splashing. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe if I sneak back in he won’t notice me. I hate that it’s come to this, but I don’t know if I’ll snap at him for grafting on Priya or end up fucking him again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Avoiding a glance at the pool, she turned quickly in the opposite direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damn. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned and saw him pulling himself out of the pool, quickly heading in her direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Levi,” she called out, attempting to mask her hesitance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why is this so weird? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” The closer he got, the more he seemed to regret the decision as a look of apprehension came over his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Awkward energy appeared like a cloud overtaking them both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How have you been?” she asked politely as if they were casual acquaintances catching up on the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes of small talk, covering everything from the weather to the atrocious meal Allegra and Rahim had prepared yesterday for lunch, he finally asked, “what’s up with you and Noah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with you and Priya?” Jess clapped back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but not for lack of trying on your part,” she responded, unable to control the bitterness that dripped from her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with that? You ended things, not me. And it’s not like you haven’t been hanging all over Noah,” he shot back, matching her irritated tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking down, focusing on her fingernails, she couldn’t help but agree. It was selfish of her to think she was entitled to move on while he pined away staying loyal to her (and Lottie?). </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But it’s not the same. He’s with Lottie. Who has clearly moved on to the new guys. I know that, and so does he. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m giving things a try with him, like I told you I was going to. It’s not my fault Lottie’s done with you. But you could have talked to me about it instead of just hitting on Priya. It makes me feel discarded, like you never cared at all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that’s not true, right?” He waited for a response before continuing. “You’re absolutely who I want to be with. If there was a recoupling today, I would choose you. But would you choose me? There’s more guys than girls right now which means at least one of us is going home soon. I don’t want it to be me, so yeah. I’m trying it on with the other girls. I know I haven’t been perfect, but neither has anyone else. It’s not fair that I might have to leave. And then, I really will lose you. I still want us to have a chance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every rational thought in her head told her to step away. His words may be true but were ultimately meaningless as they did nothing to quell her doubts about him. Any trust between them had evaporated, but she couldn't completely fight the draw to him.  She felt frozen in place, seduced by the longing in his eyes. He looked like a man if not in love, at least in lust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moving closer, he gently caressed her face with his hand and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. He shifted his focus from her eyes to his lips and began to close the distance between them when a clanking slam interrupted the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wave of relief came over Jess. Levi’s smouldering destroyed any willpower she had. How far would they have gone if left alone for a couple minutes longer? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were thankfully interrupted by Bobby and Lottie who were heading to the kitchen, loudly arguing over pancake decoration styles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A stab of irritation shot through Jess, like she was knocked out of place by this new friendship. Watching them together, she was annoyed and frustrated as a sick queasy feeling took over her stomach. It was an emotion she was very familiar with- jealousy. It was the trait she liked least about herself. She liked being Bobby’s lady bff, it felt special. How quickly she could be replaced by Bobby and Levi was a reminder of how ordinary she was. Tonight would Bobby be making Lottie cupcakes instead? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a strange thing to be annoyed by. As silly as it was, she was desperate to be someone's favourite, even if it was as a friend. Making friends had never been a struggle, but letting someone in enough to become a best friend was something that eluded her. Often, she was the third wheel in her own romantic relationships, tagging along with a boyfriend and his best friend. And for whatever reason, even her friendships failed to succeed long term. She was never sure whose fault it was but always took the blame. Punishing herself for all the ways she had pushed them away, or her mistakes that caused them to flee from the toxicity of her friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go take a shower.” She gave Levi an apologetic look and scurried away, avoiding a further glance at the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________                         </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning began quietly enough, as most of the islanders were recovering from the previous nights’ party. Gary had spoken excessively about his eagerness to hit up the gym while Rahim and Noah began most mornings with an intense workout, but today the gym stood empty. After Bobby and Lottie served up pancakes for the group, everyone had scattered throughout the villa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess walked laps around the villa, feigning indifference to the events of the day, pretending not to eavesdrop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea found a sunbathing spot and shooed Bobby away when he tried to join her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to me after my sun-time like a normal person,” she said, waving her arms dismissively. Bobby ambled away and jumped in the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah, Rahim, and Allegra were in the kitchen arguing about Rahim’s chair skills. She steered clear of the kitchen, but it was obvious Rahim needed some practice in the area as he managed to knock Allegra over trying to pull out a chair for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she walked away, her mind stayed behind, unable to stop thinking about Noah. Sometimes, he seemed so perfect for her, and other times he felt like a sweater that felt right at the beginning of the day but by the end, fit awkwardly and left you wondering why you bought it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But, what was wrong with him? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If it came down to it, would I choose Levi or Noah? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie had become the queen of the villa and was enjoying the affections of Kassam and Gary as Levi moped next to her on the bean bags. Looking like the cat who ate the canary, she stood between them as Gary rambled enthusiastically and Kassam stared directly at her, with the hint of a smile on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish she would give Levi the ok to crack on. She clearly is…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking notice of a solitary Jake lounging on a daybed, she went to join him. “Permission to come aboard?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up at her, and nodded “Permission granted.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hopping onto the bed, she sat cross-legged facing him. “How’s your morning been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quiet, it’s been very much needed after yesterday. How about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enjoying the calm.”</span>
  <em>
    <span> And trying to tame my anxiety.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess sighed. “I hope it lasts. I don’t know if I could handle much more than laying around today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same, today feels like the first Sunday after working a week straight running a kitchen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. For me, it’s that day after a month-long work trip. When you do nothing but recover guilt-free.” Jess sighed again, laying down next to Jake. “I could stay here forever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Worrying won’t make it better. Lay here, and enjoy a nice day.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got a text,” Chelsea screamed. “Oooh, challenge time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A collective groan could be heard as everyone prepared to put on their biggest smiles and dramatically run to the challenge stage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After arriving, Jess took notice of the banner. Mean Tweets. The game promised to add some needed excitement to the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope not too much.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby placed his head on her shoulder. “Phew, all that running in slow motion wipes me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not me, I practice my Baywatch run daily.  We’ll work on it later, Bobs. You'll be a slo-mo champ by the time we’re out of here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna hold you to that, lass.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone gathered around Chelsea as she read the rules of the challenge. Audience members’ tweets would be read out aloud and the islanders would have to guess which person the tweet was about. The winning couple would get a mystery prize. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sounds fun. And not at all terrifying. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sidled over to take a seat next to Noah who pulled her in for a quick hug, kissing her on the side of the head. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He can be so sweet. I think I could fall for him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nervous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>YES.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s gonna be a blast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, first tweet,” Chelsea called out. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Does _______ even have a spine?  What a total coward. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Glancing at the islanders, it could be a lot of people. One of the guys makes more sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe Noah or Levi? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grabbed the board from Noah and scribbled down Levi’s name refusing to miss this opportunity.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We could have worked things out if he would have had 'the talk' with Lottie. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As everyone revealed their boards, Jess was surprised to see so many different names. The team of Gassam were the only other one to choose Levi. Some teams had chosen Rahim and Bobby while Priya and Jake had unsurprisingly selected Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The answer is Rahim,” Chelsea revealed. Allegra looked annoyed at the answer, clearly getting that the public was referring to him choosing her at the last recoupling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next one...</span>
  <b>"-________ isn't even convincing herself she is into _____ let alone me. </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Definitely Chelsea and Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess cringed as the answer was revealed to be her and Noah. Reaching for his hand, he smiled back but studied her carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope he doesn’t read too much into this. I do like him!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>______ is like a giant praying mantis watch out boys, she'll eat you alive. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>No one seemed shocked to discover that this was Allegra. Except for Allegra, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>______ is the hottest guy in the villa, but he’s so dull it moves him from a 10 to 6. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake looked a bit embarrassed he was chosen. No one could disagree with the statement, but everyone was quick to reassure him that he just needed to get out of his shell. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jake doesn’t have the banter, but he has a lot of other great qualities.  I hope he finds the right person, someone who will appreciate how wonderful and sweet he is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>______ is a  perfect example of a fake friend slagging _____ off and then being all nice to her face. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic gripped Jess as a chill went down her spine. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope this isn't me. Please don’t be me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She forced herself to hold her head high and maintain eye contact with Chelsea, waiting for the reveal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The answer is….Allegra and Lottie,” Chelsea chirped, eying up Lottie with interest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Resisting the urge to let out an audible sigh, Jess felt her body relax in relief. This place was doing a number on her anxiety, she hoped to escape the summer with her heart in ok shape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie stood up, her jaw clenched. “What the hell, Allegra? That’s how it is, then? Guess I know who not to trust.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra immediately went into denial mode. “I don’t know what that’s about. I haven’t said anything about you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Leggy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s move on, girls. Next tweet,” Chelsea announced before revealing the next tweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>______ seems like the kinda guy who can’t even make a sandwich. Bet his Nan does it for him.  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Definitely Gary, he’s the only guy here who’s mentioned his nan.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah laughed, already writing the answer. Unsurprisingly, all the boards read Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <span>Hey, I have a lot of other skills. Can you operate a crane?” he defended. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>How much would we have to pay to shut _____ up for five minutes? Give it a rest girl. No wonder ____ is already looking for the exit. </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Allegra and Rahim, it has to be them. She’s beyond annoying. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding up the board and looking around, she was the only one to think so. Everyone else had selected Chelsea and Bobby, including Chelsea and Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea shrugged seeing the answer. “I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes my ADD gets away with me. And who’s to say I’m not looking for an exit either.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do we need to find different exits? Or can we use the same one?” Bobby added. “If we took the same one, would we end up stuck together again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does open up a lot of questions. And Chels, we love your chat. Never change.” Jess directed an imaginary high five her way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got it, baby girl.” Chelsea high fived the air in return. “Last tweet! Uh...oof.” Chelsea suddenly looked uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Read it, read it,” Bobby called out, trying and failing to start a group chant. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>______  snogged three guys in a day, but you know she’s going to have a total meltdown when she finds out about ______ and _______.  What a jealous cow.  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>FUCK. That’s obviously about me. But it means Lottie hasn’t exactly been loyal either….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A queasy feeling hit her, everyone was going to find out. Would they think less of her? Would anyone be able to trust her after this? Maybe not. Maybe not even after the villa. It was something she had neglected to consider. This could follow her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Should I own it? It’s going to come up anyway, may as well get the point.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lottie is going to hate me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Noah, his eyes were glued to the board in his hand. Hesitantly, Jess took it from him and wrote an answer down. Her eyes met Lottie’s who was already piercing her with a hard look. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At least she’s waiting for confirmation before imploding. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When the boards were revealed, not everyone knew the answer. It was short-lived relief that she and Levi had been subtle enough to escape the islander’s notice. Allegra and Rahim had even chosen Jess as the snogging jealous cow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did it matter though? The cameras caught them. The viewers at home knew and now everyone was going to discover the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea quietly read the full tweet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lottie snogged three guys in a day, but you know she’s going to have a total meltdown when she finds out about Levi and Jess.  What a jealous cow. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked overcome with rage as she stood up and approached Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Jess, what the hell? Did you know about this?” She pointed aggressively to Chelsea and Priya who looked dumbfounded. “I can’t believe I let you convince me she wasn’t so bad. I was right the whole time about you.” Lottie hit Jess with a calm but deadly looking sneer. “You’re a fucking slag.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Levi stood up. “Don’t call her that. It doesn’t sound like you deserve an award for Miss Loyalty either. Who else have you been hooking up with?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter? You clearly started cracking on with her before that?” Lottie accused, her mouth twisted in anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does matter.” Priya stood up as well. “You don’t get to be upset about Levi kissing Jess if you’ve done the same thing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess continued sitting, watching them argue, unable to say anything. She felt frozen in place, her mouth dry and a stabbing feeling in her gut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t do the same thing. I wouldn’t betray girl code. I didn’t snog anyone coupled up,” Lottie defended herself carefully.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Kassam and Gary then,” Levi said with an eye roll. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not the bad guy here. You both completely betrayed me. I’m not going to stand here and listen to this bullshit trying to turn it around on me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” Jess choked out, quietly with her voice barely above a whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group’s focus pulled towards her- other than Noah who was aggressively picking at his fingernails. With a small sigh, she continued, “Levi and I did more than kiss. It happened before Kassam and Gary got here and before we became friends. Chelsea and Priya didn’t know anything about it. I’m so sorry Lottie. I want things to be ok between us and to be your friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We aren’t friends,” she asserted with a scowl towards Jess. A moment passed and her brows furrowed and lower lip trembled. Lottie looked more hurt than angry as she stumbled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence. No one knew what to say or how to break the awkwardness of the moment. Jess quickly walked back to the Villa, eager to avoid any more discussion of her mistakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could hear Bobby announcing the winner as she left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Running up the bedroom, she flung herself onto the bed, burying her head into the pillow. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe this was a huge mistake, coming here. Trying something different. Opening myself up to the scrutiny that comes with being on Love Island. I thought this might be fun, but I’m not having fun and it’s my fault. I screwed things up with Lottie. With Noah. And even with Levi. There’s no one to blame for any of this, but myself.  I need to be different, make better decisions, be the kind of person that doesn’t do shit like this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My parents would be ashamed if they could see me now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to go back and do things differently. This isn’t me. I’m boring and monogamous, I don’t hook up with guys with a partner. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is this place doing to me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You stupid bitch. You can’t blame this place. It’s you. You’re dumb and slutty and ruined everything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If I wasn’t so afraid of dealing with the public fallout, I would leave. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________                         </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The awkwardness continued into the evening. Jess managed to avoid interacting with any islanders, hiding out in the dressing room the rest of the day until dinner. Other than the clattering sounds of silverware, silence filled the air. Every few minutes, Jess would receive a glare from Lottie but was otherwise left alone. Priya and Chelsea flanked her at the table and comforted her with reassuring looks and gentle touches. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t deserve it, but I’m glad to have them.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After dinner, Noah was perfecting his cold shoulder. She spotted him in the kitchen and cautiously approached, but the moment he sensed she was headed his way he bolted in the other direction, forgetting the water bottle he had filled. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess that’s how it’s going to be from now on.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess headed back to the scene of her crime. Climbing the stairs to the terrace, she realized it may be another mistake. It may not be the ideal spot if she wanted to avoid Levi. He had to know it’s where she would flee to. With every step, her dread and desire increased.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she needed them to be over, she still wanted him deeply. What was keeping them apart now? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They may as well crack on Maybe she did want him to be there? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To her relief (and disappointment), Levi wasn’t on the terrace. Unfortunately, Lottie was. She looked like a mess, her mascara still looked perfect but her eyes were red and swollen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” she asked, her voice breaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A quiet spot, to be honest. But we should probably talk. I don’t want things to be like this with us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all about you.” Lottie rolled her eyes, looking away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what do you want?” Jess raised her voice in exasperation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sorry, you know. I know it was wrong, but you were such a shit to me when I got here that it was easy to justify it. I ended things with him after we made up. I don’t even think there’s anything between us, he was grafting on Priya yesterday and I-” She paused, biting her lip, and looking away. “I think it might have just been sex for us both.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sex. That’s all it was. Good sex. What was I thinking?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m</span>
  <em>
    <span> so </span>
  </em>
  <span>sorry to hear your selfish sluttiness didn’t work out for you.” Her words were cold and dripping with sarcasm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with you and Gary? And you and Kassam? Did you even like Levi?” Jess challenged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Are you gonna fuck Gary or Kassam next? Already time for you to move on from Noah? Do you even like </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I like him a lot. Noah and I didn’t kiss until after I broke up with Levi.” Jess didn’t believe her own defence, it felt like a hollow distinction. </span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do I actually like Noah? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh bully for you. I know what you’re trying to do but I don’t buy your good girl act. Stay out of my way. And stay away from my guy,” Lottie said as she began to storm out in a huff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh, is that Levi? Or Gary or Kassam? You know you can’t claim all the guys and then call girl code when anyone gets in your way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked infuriated as she turned to leave, stomping down the stairs loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could have handled that better. Story of my life. What the fuck is wrong with me? Every time I try to fix something, I manage to make things worse. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Going back downstairs and dealing with the fallout seemed more intimidating after her confrontation with Lottie. Instead of improving their relationship, she had managed to make Lottie angrier. Why was she incapable of apologizing without becoming aggressive and defensive? It wasn’t Lottie’s fault, how had she turned it around on her? The door to the terrace opened. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t be Levi, Please don’t be Levi</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see someone in my life.” She rushed over and flung herself into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take it as a compliment. Are you ok?” He gently smoothed her hair and held her tightly, she felt herself fall, letting the tension of the day out as tears came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Breaking down, she clung to him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I screw everything up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true, I promise it’s not.” He kissed the top of her head and soothingly rubbed her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Jess felt like there were no more tears left to cry, she shook her head delicately extricating herself from Bobby’s embrace. “I’m so sorry, your shirt,” she said pointing to his tear-soaked shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it. I was a little hot anyway,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you were,” she teased through the remaining tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestured over the bench and they moved to sit down, setting in a couple of feet apart. “I saw Lottie storm out of here like a bat out of hell. Sorry, you’re taking the brunt of it. It’s Levi she should be mad at.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she was already checked out on Levi. It’s the principle of it all for her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hashtag girl code,” Bobby called out with a high pitched tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope she can forgive me.” Jess let out a groan, placing her hands to her face, reflecting again on the decisions that had led her here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to make for a long, exhausting summer if she doesn’t. I wouldn’t worry about it. I think she’s secretly a softy. Maybe wait for her to come around?” Bobby suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess. A huge part of me is wondering if I made a mistake coming here. Maybe I should have stayed in the shire.” She sighed and leaned back, looking towards the sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re here, Pipp.” Bobby put his arm around her and pulled her towards him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merry,” she corrected, thrilled at his response.</span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He gets my weird references. He gets me.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I was better at keeping people in my life. I always do the wrong thing and no one ever sticks around.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise to stick around,” he said, squeezing her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I refuse to lose my favourite prank buddy. I promise you’re stuck with me.” Bobby rubbed her shoulder, the moonlight glimmered in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for everything. I needed it, really I did. You’re a good friend, I’m so glad I have you.”  Safe and protected in his arms, she felt like everything might be ok. She might be ok. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is the sweetest person I’ve ever known.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess affectionately kissed him on the cheek while booping him on the nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You booped me this time. A very boopy boop,” he said, pretending to be surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But not the boopiest?” she asked with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only I can deliver the boopiest of boops. But you can be my Queen of Boops.” He reached for her hand again, delicately kissing it. “I like the sound of that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My lady.” Bobby stood up and bowed deeply </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so silly sometimes, I love it.” Jess laughed and lightly bopped him on the head. “We should probably head back down. Time to face the wrath of Lottie. And the passive-aggressive torment of Noah.” Standing up, she moved towards the exit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After you.” He held the door open and followed her down the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jess finally made it to bed, the lights were off but things were unusually quiet. Her bed was empty, Noah must have found somewhere else to sleep. Her actions had driven him out of his own bed. Guilt crept back in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Levi and Lottie’s bed, there was only one figure. In the darkness, she couldn't tell who it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Could Levi and Noah be outside together?  Or Noah and Lottie?? I don’t know which option upsets me more.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Drama drama drama, fucking drama.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Today sucks.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. it would seem like wisdom but for the warning of my heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Waking up the next morning, Jess felt energized, filled with purpose. Her agenda was simple- fix things with Noah. Space seemed to be the way to deal with Lottie, but there was hope to patch things up with her partner. If he let her in, she was confident she could convince him to give them another chance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah felt right, she had done something crazy in hooking up with Levi. It was a wonderful mistake, but Noah felt like the right answer to every question in her life. With him, she could visualize a fulfilling future. The family and love she craved all wrapped up in one sexy librarian. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When her thoughts drifted to Levi, all she could feel was regret. If she had found him on the terrace in the midst of the fallout yesterday, it just would have added to her list of regrets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would have given in to him, still wanting him badly- but in the light of day, would remember how wrong they were together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the drama and anxiety their fling caused had eliminated any real romantic possibilities. Negative energy now permeated every facet of their relationship. It wasn’t his fault, but it was there. If circumstances had been different, maybe it could have worked out between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or was it was only good sex? Either way, they felt finished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Can a couple created through infidelity work? Maybe. But it seemed too complicated for her to pursue. As much as she liked Levi and was attracted to him, he wasn’t worth it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all that had happened, he could never be the partner she needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scanning the eerily quiet bedroom, everyone was deep in slumber. Jess hurried downstairs to make Noah a cuppa and some breakfast. She remembered from brunch the other day he was partial to french toast. Walking towards the kitchen, she took in the view, casually seeking him out. She heard him before she saw him. A loud monstrous sound drew her eye to his dishevelled form on the daybed. Next to him was another snoring blob, this one with long blonde hair. Lottie. They created a cacophony of snores, the silence in the bedroom making sense in their absence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She set her mind to the task at hand. Cooking wasn’t something she was as comfortable with as Jake or Bobby, but she could do it. For anything complicated, she needed a recipe, but french toast was simple. It was a good thing she was cooking for Noah instead of Bobby, dippy eggs would have been a more difficult challenge. She had never been able to master soft-boiled eggs and it was a source of culinary frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An awkward realization set in as she remembered Lottie was also asleep on the daybeds. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How am I going to have a chat with Noah if Lottie is around? I need to get him alone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was as if fates intervened. She finished plating her breakfast as Noah walked over. “That smells good.” He caught her eye and smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A good sign.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“For you.” Jess handed him a plate. “Fuck, I forgot to make tea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I got it,” Noah chuckled and started a kettle before turning back to her. “I’m sorry I was so cold to you yesterday. I was being an ass. I guess we should talk about everything. You and Levi. You and me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is it. I need to be straightforward and apologetic. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I haven’t been honest with you. And about everything. Levi and I did hook up while we were coupled up, but nothing happened after we kissed. I want things to work between us, I’m sorry I’ve made such a mess of it. Do you think we can move past this?” she asked, hopeful, nervously looking up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked away as if carefully considering her question before a determined expression appeared on his face and he reached for her hand, gently caressing it with his thumb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Jess. I like you a lot, and I know you’re a good person. I mean, we’ve all only known each other a few days. It feels like longer, but it seems dumb to end things because of something you did before we were really together.”  He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing it briefly before looking intensely into her eyes. “As long as things are over with you and Levi. Are they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a breath, preparing to answer him as Lottie chose the moment to interrupt with a loud clang, slamming the chair against the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh sorry, did I disturb you two?” she grumbled before heading towards the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Returning focus to Noah, Jess reassured, “Yes, they are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They really are. Jess and Noah. We make sense.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled out mugs for their tea and they focused on a pleasant morning together. He intertwined her fingers with his as they quietly ate their breakfast, drank a cuppa, and enjoyed the calm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon the rest of the group would be up. But maybe the calm could last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________                         </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After breakfast, Jess found a shady spot near the pool and settled in to enjoy some meditative relaxation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all bants anyway. What does it even matter?” Gary’s voice called out, as he and Lottie walked over to the other side of the pool to meet up with a lounging Priya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was too far away to hear, but Gary, Priya, and Lottie were engaged in playful conversation as Levi sheepishly approached. Jess had the good sense to avoid tormenting Lottie, but Levi had to be feeling brave to poke the Lottie-bear. He looked apologetic and nervous, addressing Lottie while she crossed her arms, focusing intently on Priya. Her shoulder wasn’t just cold, it had frozen over. She huffed away, flipping her hair dismissively as Gary and Priya followed, ignoring Levi’s pleas.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know Levi screwed up, but she’s acting like a child. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over and caught her watching him. She snapped her eye away, trying to pretend she had been looking at a bird flying overhead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In her periphery, she saw disappointment on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As much as it hurts, I need to let him go for the sake of the villa. Things are too tenuous, one more break and it all falls apart. The last thing this place needs is more chaos.  It’s for the best</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The greater good. </span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Another day, another challenge. Jess and Noah were given the duties of hosting a game of ‘Kiss and Tell’. The islanders were separated by gender and had to kiss the person they suspected of being the subject of each secret. The winning team would get to host a cocktail party. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spirits were high with the prize of boozy drinks on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra eagerly grabbed the first card. “Ok, we’re looking for the guy that once fell asleep during sex.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ladies excitedly huddled together to discuss the picks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It has to be Noah,” Chelsea insisted. "He gives off serious ‘I fall asleep during a movie if it’s past ten’ vibes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Levi? He has to get up early to swim, right?” Priya suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or to shed his skin,” Lottie added with a scowl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it was reversed, you bet it would be Jake. I could totally see falling asleep while having sex with him. Just looking at him makes me want to yawn.”  Allegra giggled, gesturing over to an oblivious Jake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give it a rest, Leggy. You could be so lucky,” Priya chastised, defending her partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Kassam? He seems low energy,”  Jess said, looking over at him listening to Gary rattle on about something with a dazed look in his eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he has more passion than you give him credit for.” Lottie gave a knowing smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea couldn’t hold back a tiny “whoop”.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The competitive nature of the game was already helping the group to work together. Jess hoped they could maintain focus on the task at hand instead of descending into chaos. If this energy continued, maybe Lottie would forget she was angry?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, Kassam feels like the right choice,” Priya confidently declared. “I think you should kiss him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. But keep it PG,” Lottie directed at Allegra, with a raised brow that felt threatening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra nodded and began walking towards Kassam with focus. As she neared, she took a hard turn to the right and moved over to Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tensed up in surprise as she flung herself into his arms and aggressively kissed him. It was hard to gauge whether Gary was reciprocating or being polite but it continued longer than Lottie felt it should have. Which she quickly made very clear. Lottie was angry yesterday, but today there was a terrifying fury about her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get the fuck off him, what the hell,” Lottie yelled, looking like she wanted to strangle Allegra as Chelsea and Priya both held her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would not want to be Allegra right now. Maybe she should have gone for Kassam? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra ignored the outburst, finally stepping away from a flustered Gary and taking her place back with the girls. Noticing Lottie’s expression, she met her with a disingenuous smile. “What? I said I would keep things kid-friendly with Kassam.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie gritted her teeth, looking tense as Priya quietly talked her down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah broke the tension by revealing the answer was Kassam, leading Chelsea to whine about Allegra’s choice to kiss Gary instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kassam tried to deflect from revealing the details, but Gary and Bobby pushed for him to spill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you must pry-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I must, I must,” Bobby interjected gleefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kassam rolled his eyes and continued. “It was after a rave a few years back. I’d been up 36 hours partying and I thought I was fine until I crashed hard.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Literally,” Bobby added as he high-fived Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. Let’s move on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’ll go next.” Gary jumped at the chance for a turn. “I need to find the girl who was once arrested for petty theft.” Gary didn’t bother conferring with the guys before walking straight to Lottie. She lit up as he moved towards her and pulled her in for a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t know Lottie could look so happy. She’s always so cold and sarcastic, fighting the small smiles that emerge on her face. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that is wrong,” Jess announced. “The answer is of course our sweet little jailbird, Chelsea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Details please,” Priya demanded affectionately.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was an accident. I didn't mean to take anything. And it was just gum. Anywho. Girls turn,” Chelsea yelled out, grabbing a card. “Oooh, someone’s been bad. Which guy has cheated on all of his partners?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess remained quiet, keeping her eyes focused on the hands she clung together tightly as everyone agreed it was probably Levi. He had admitted to previously cheating on a girlfriend and she wasn’t exactly in a place to defend him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The guy is a total sleaze, of course it’s him. He clearly doesn’t understand loyalty,” Lottie said, challenging anyone to disagree with her and shooting Levi a dirty look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah revealed the answer to be Ibrahim and a wave of relief washed over her. It would have been hard to hear she had so seriously misjudged him and fucked a serial cheater. It may not have worked out, but Jess clung to the hope they were done in by the circumstances. Taking a glance at Levi, his mind seemed elsewhere. His eyes blank, he had the look of someone who wanted to be anywhere but on Love Island. He noticed her gaze and forced a smile before looking off in the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, Jess.” Chelsea poked her. “Your turn.” She directed her to pull a card.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I’m looking for the guy who once lost his shirt as a guest on a daytime talk show.” Jess turned to assess the guys. None of them gave anything away. Except for Jake who shifted his legs awkwardly and avoided her gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bingo</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Without confirming suspicions with the girls, she walked over and kissed Jake lightly on the lips. His lips were soft, but he kissed firmly with confidence, surprising her. He blushed as she pulled away and returned to the girls.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Better play it safe today. No drama coming from me!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies, you get a point.” Noah marked a point on the board. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally,” Priya cheered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jake told the embarrassing story of a cooking disaster he caused a few years back, Jess found herself thinking about Levi. He looked like he had already given up and was ready to leave. He deserved to find someone. It may be too late for them, but he could couple up with someone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He and Chelsea would be gorgeous together. And things aren’t working with her and Bobby….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked to Bobby, who had pulled a card. He looked at it and grinned directly at Jess before reading it aloud.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get to kiss the girl who used to write smutty fanfiction about Aragorn from Lord of the Rings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, that’s me and he knows it. I can barely go a day with a LOTR reference. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His confidence dissipated with every step he took. With his faux bravado gone, he nervously approached, his face turning a slight shade of pink.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s adorable. Maybe a little drama wouldn’t be so bad? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slid her hands up his back, pulling him closer. He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist, lowering her into a kiss. Closing her eyes and falling into him, the kiss deepened as their tongues found each other.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I forgot how good he was at this.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She found a moan escape her throat as she pulled away. Looking back up at him, his confidence had returned. Bobby gave her a cheeky wink before heading back to the guys. Gary gave him a high five as he took his place back in line. Noah seemed stoic, at least feigning indifference to the kiss. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good, it doesn’t mean anything. Not everything needs to be a giant scandal.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back at the girls, Lottie rolled her eyes and sniped, “Anyone surprised at Jess cracking on to another guy? No. I didn’t think so.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess glanced at Chelsea, who had a forced smile plastered on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really Lottie, If I don’t care, I don’t know why you should,” Chelsea defended but avoided looking back at Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry Chels. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The words were on her tongue but stayed there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the game continued less dramatically. Noah kissed Priya while looking for the girl who couldn’t remember the names of all the boys she had slept with. The guys earned a point as Priya turned her face to avoid a kiss from Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s task was to find the guy whose favourite sex position is the helicopter. With a coy smile, she surveyed the line of guys before settling on Gary. Lottie got a snog, while Bobby helped Gary demonstrate the logistics of the helicopter which involved a lot of spinning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you doing that with your hands? What does that help with?” Chelsea yelled out, through laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake kissed Allegra, guessing she had slept with a man in uniform at their place of work. “He was a firefighter, and he put out my fire,” she proudly announced as the rest of the islanders groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby and Gary pushed Kassam to take a turn. “Ok. I’ll go.” He picked a card. “I’m looking for the girl who shaved the eyebrows off a boyfriend after finding out he was married. Easy. There’s only one girl here that fierce.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking over to Lottie, he gave her a quick peck on the lips. Lottie looked disappointed, but not surprised. Public displays of attention didn’t seem like his style. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya was the last islander to go. “Oh, this one’s a little dull. The guy who used to be the lead singer of a punk band.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled the girls into a group discussion. “Who do we think it is? It’s definitely not Gary. I heard him singing to himself the other day and it was truly terrible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kassam’s into music, but I don’t get feel like that’s his scene. Lottie?” Jess nervously looked for confirmation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s definitely not him,” Lottie agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. It’s Bobby,” Jess called out. “He mentioned being in a band the other day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on it.” Priya sashayed over to Bobby and kissed him hard. Jess felt a slight stab of jealousy as Priya lingered, kissing him longer than appropriate for friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why does this bug me? I literally did the same thing earlier.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. Do I like Bobby? I can’t like Bobby. I have enough going on. I don’t like Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s correct,” Noah declared it was the end of the competition. “Ok, so according to the board, the guys win.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guys hooted and hollered, bragging about their win, while the girls laughed it off and ran for a dip in the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea immediately cannonballed into a pool while Priya and Jess quickly followed. Lottie gave Jess a cool look, reiterating that things weren’t forgiven before joining the girls for a swim. Allegra slunk away, but the rest of the girls engaged in some classic summer fun.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like the kind of fun Jess hoped she would experience. Love Island was supposed to be a place to break out of her structured existence and be wild and free. Instead, she had become an even tighter mess of anxieties. Moments like this gave her hope she made the right decision sending in that application. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing and splashing together, she felt the unbridled joy that had been missing from her life.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess resisted the urge to fall asleep while lounging around the pool after her dip. Eyes closed, feeling herself falling before snapping them back open again. She had begun to embrace naps as a technique to deal with villa boredom, but it was fucking with her ability to sleep through the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, I was looking for you.” Jake approached, gripped with serious focus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sup?” She looked up at him, pulling down her sunglasses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got a text to go shopping for snacks and drinks for tonight. And I thought you might want to come with me. Change of scenery and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake that sounds amazing. I could kiss you. Again,” she said remembering their chaste snog earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go.” She began to bolt towards the exit only to stop, remembering her bikini. “I should probably change first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake laughed and nodded. “I’ll wait for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A break from the villa was the shot of invigoration Jess needed. It was nice to be somewhere normal, and Jake was an ideal companion. Quiet, but warm. He wasn’t joy incarnate like Chelsea or fun and sweet like Bobby, but he made her feel safe. She didn’t feel ready to open up to anyone but trusted Jake was someone she could be emotionally honest with. If she wanted, which she didn’t. He was a good person, not gossipy or judgmental. Salt of the earth good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having never had good male friends before, she was grateful to have both Bobby and Jake in her life. Priya and Chelsea had also proven to be great mates. The knowledge made her remember the fears that followed her. Would she do something to screw everything up?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one other than Lottie held the thing with Levi against her. She had emerged reasonably unscathed and wanted to keep it that way. She had her fun, and now needed less drama the rest of her time in the villa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was clear what she needed to do. Keep her head down, commit to Noah, be fun and friendly, and try not to lose the new friends she made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe things could work out long-term with Noah? She never imagined finding the love of her life on Love Island, but she also never thought she would find someone like Noah here. He was educated, great with kids, loyal, and incredibly fit. On paper, he was everything she ever hoped to find in a partner- an ideal father of her future children.  And he liked her. He saw something in her. Why else would he have chosen her over literal bombshell Priya? It didn’t make any sense unless there was something genuine between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess. Jess,” Jake interrupted looking concerned. “You ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, got lost in thought. What were you saying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I grabbed some crisps and stuff for sausage rolls. Anything else we should get?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, let’s get soup,” she excitedly suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re joking, right?” His brows raised in confusion, unable to hide his disdain for the idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I love soup.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not getting soup. If you want something hot, I’ll make a spinach dip.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiine,” Jess whined with a smile as they headed for more supplies.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, the peaceful afternoon was only a lull in the centre of a storm. Jess and Jake returned to find the Villa in shambles. The drama between Lottie and Allegra had escalated into a screaming match that could be heard for miles. The words “girl code” echoed through the wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are such a fake bitch. I can’t believe I ever thought we were friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know the meaning of the word loyalty.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you do! You’re a complete hypocrite. You’re all talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over at Jake. “Can we please go back?? Please, Jake, please.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If only we could.” Jake shook his head, looking back at the lawn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie and Allegra were aggressively gesticulating while yelling. Sneaking by the girls, Jess and Jake retreated indoors. The rest of the islanders were in the lounge chatting quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone ready for a party?” Jess said holding up the bag of cocktails supplies and snacks they had procured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you so much right now.” Gary’s eyes twinkled as he walked over to grab the bag. “Alright, let’s see what we’ve got.” Bringing the supplies to a counter, he pulled everything out while Priya joined and began making batches of gin and tonics. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oui, Isn’t this party just for the guys? Get out of here ladies,” Bobby yelled out, taking satisfaction in chastising the girls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t send us back out there,” Jess begged him, trying to make her eyes as wide as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiine, you can stay. But you owe me a foot rub,” he said, obnoxiously winking at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to hope you forget about that one.” Jess cringed, crinkling up her nose in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was voted the most stealthy and was sent to the kitchen for glasses before Chelsea passed out the drinks Priya had crafted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I’ve ever needed a drink more.” Bobby gratefully took a sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long has this been going on?” Jess asked as they settled into an isolated corner spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels like hours,” Bobby sighed, rolling back his head. “I hate this sort of thing. Fighting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reassuringly rubbed his arm. “Same, It’s nice not to be taking the brunt of Lottie’s anger, but it’s still not fun to listen to. It’s awful. Stresses me out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have a horribly awkward parental divorce situation too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but my Mum and grandma used to fight all the time. My Mum never stopped disappointing her mother who never stopped letting her know it. I mastered the art of listening to loud music in my room, pretending I couldn’t hear them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s weird, but I kinda miss the fighting. At least they were around.” She exhaled slowly, knowing she had revealed too much of herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked confused, she clarified while desperately wanting to change the subject. “They’re both gone now. Dead. My dad too. I’m sorry about your parents. What happened there? I mean. If you want to talk about it. I know you might not want to and I totally get it. But you can talk to me if you need to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” He paused for longer than natural. “It was bad. A lot of fighting and putting me and my sister in the middle, making us fight their battles. Things are better now, but it was hard for a long time. People arguing like this brings me back there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Jess pulled him in for a hug as Chelsea popped over. “Jess, we need you. We’re talking Spice Girls and trying to decide who Scary Spice is, Lottie or Leggy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess giggled and kissed Bobby on the cheek before pulling away and retreating to the couch. “Ok, well, where did we land so far? Chels is obviously Baby Spice and Priya is Posh Spice. Who am I? I guess I’m kinda sporty. I like hiking.” She shrugged, uncertain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea crinkled up her face and waved her hand dismissively. “No that doesn’t feel right. Maybe Ginger? It’s more than a hair colour, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, she was named Sexy Spice, and they changed it to Ginger Spice for mass appeal,” Kassam pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprised expressions came over the group, now eying Kassam with silent interest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I know things,” Kassam said with a shrug. “Especially when it comes to music.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it.” Priya pointed at Jess. “Jess is officially Sexy Ginger Spice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, thank you. It’s truly an honour.” Jess bowed triumphantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, guys. I don’t think Allegra or Lottie are Sporty Spice. I don’t think I’ve ever seen either at the gym,” Gary said.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I be Sporty Spice?” Rahim asked. “I am a professional after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. But so is Levi,” Chelsea pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rahim can have this one.” Levi finally spoke, a small smile emerging from a face that had spent the day moping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, we just need Scary Spice. Jess, having been on their bad side, who’s scarier?” Bobby asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s definitely Lottie. If she hasn’t cast a spell on someone by now, it’s bound to happen. And that’s way scarier than anything Leggy could do.” A wave of gratitude came over her, realizing that this strange group of people felt like her people. Despite how different they all were, they were now bonded through this bizarre Love Island experience. With all of the dumb games and inane conversations that came with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed.” Priya stood up grabbing everyone’s attention. “I’m ready to announce the official Love Island Spice Girls.” Putting quotes around girls for Rahim’s benefit, she continued. “Baby Spice is the cutest little blonde girl in the villa, Chelsea.” Chelsea stood up to applause and waved enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And of course, I am Posh Spice.” Priya posed seductively. “Sexy Ginger Spice is the lovely Jess. Sporty Spice is the hunkiest golfer in all the UK, Ibrahim the dream.” Rahim looked a little embarrassed, but also proud as he wrapped an arm around Priya.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He definitely fancies Priya. Poor Jake. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally, Scary Spice is our very own Wiccan queen, Lottie, who couldn’t be here tonight. She’s off living up to her name.” Priya dramatically finished her drink and sat down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake took notice and left for the kitchen.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>No food, lots of drinks. He’s good at spotting an impending disaster. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spotted Levi setting down an empty drink and making a calculated exit to the terrace. Leaning over to Chelsea, she whispered in her ear, “Can you check on Levi for me? I’m worried about him, he snuck away and he’s been in a funk all day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea looked over at Noah, who was watching the girls and nodded. “No problem, I got this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby began passing out another round of beverages before sitting in the now empty spot next to Jess. “Cheers,” He offered his glass as a toast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cheers.” She returned with a clink, finding herself mesmerized by his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He seriously has the most beautiful face. I  want to pin him down and count his freckles. They’re strangely captivating, maybe even a little sexy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught her watching him and returned her look with interest. Her cheeks turned pink as the heat rose in her chest, she looked away, turning her focus to Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing his hand, she caressed it gently until he noticed. “Wanna sneak away?” She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without a word, he got up and pulled her towards the stairs leading up to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess didn’t look back to see, but their exit probably hadn’t been subtle. Once they were out of sight, Noah grabbed her face with his hands and kissed her intensely. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is one passionate librarian. And this does feel good....</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was pleasant, just kissing Noah. She forced herself to pull away, running up the stairs without a glance behind. When she looked back he was at the bottom of the stairs, a perplexed look on his face. She gave him a cheeky wink and continued to the bedroom. Hopefully, he would get the message.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did. Noah followed and they quickly fell into a bed, pawing at each other like high schoolers. After the other night, Noah held back, waiting for her to take the lead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was something she didn’t feel ready for yet. She rushed things with Levi and it had been amazing, but a mistake. It had ended any potential relationship for them and set her villa life into chaos. Noah was different, but her previous indiscretion filled her with a need for caution. She needed to fuck Levi, and now she needed to take her time with Noah. The little voice in her head wasn’t always right, but she usually listened to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, they kissed and groped, keeping things above the clothes. She could feel how hard Noah was beneath her and it made her want him more, letting out a frustrated moan.  He responded by kissing her everywhere other than where she wanted. The ache within her was enough she was moments away from telling the voice in her head to shut the fuck up and let her get fucked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She heard a knock. “Hey,” Gary called out, “Jake made food and we’re moving outside. The storm has thankfully calmed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blah,” Jess complained, before kissing Noah one last time and getting up. Looking down at Noah’s tented pants, she smiled. “I’ll meet you down there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was secretly grateful for the disruption. As much as her body had been screaming for him, it didn’t feel like the right time. Maybe later, in the hideaway when things are all more settled. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When I can stop thinking about Levi. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or not at all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s something about me and Noah that doesn’t feel completely right. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s perfect, we should be perfect. I can’t let myself ruin this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Outside, things indeed seemed calmer. Lottie and Allegra were on opposite sides of the lawn but both appeared in good spirits. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe things were turning around? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya spotted her and waved her over to join the rest of the Spice Girls. Chelsea was trying to teach Rahim some dance moves while Lottie held back laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Slide to the left, then slide to right. Swing your knees. Yes! Perfect.” Chelsea was taking the Spice Girl crew incredibly seriously, which wasn’t surprising. What was shocking, was how much Rahim was getting into it. Jess wasn’t sure if it was the drinks or how much they bonded in a short time, but he was relaxed and in his element. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are going to nail ‘Wannabe’ by the end of summer,” Chelsea excitedly squealed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, if we all make it through the summer.” Lottie rolled her eyes. “Is this really the best use of our time?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lighten up Lottie, it’s about time we have some fun around here,” Priya chastised gently. “And what’s more ‘girl code’ than the Spice Girls?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True that,” Jess added, beginning to sing. “After all, If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotta get with my friends,” Priya echoed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make it last forever, friendship never ends.” Chelsea joined in as well, continuing the chorus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie stood stone-faced before giving in and joining the girls while Rahim danced along. Jess spotted Allegra in the distance looking annoyed and walking off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the islanders who had been mingling by the pool moved over to watch the performance, which what it lacked in talent was made up for in enthusiasm. Kassam had turned on his phone flashlight and was waving it like a lighter while Gary loudly cheered the group on. After ‘Wannabe’, Chelsea insisted on making them sing ‘2 Become 1’, a song no one other than Chelsea was familiar enough with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess found her eyes drawn to Bobby who she realized had been focused entirely on her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She sought out Noah and realized he wasn’t there. Had he not come back down?  He hadn’t seemed upset when she left, but maybe he was? It was hard to get a read on Noah sometimes.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should probably go find him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After this next song….</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Memory is not what the heart desires. That is only a mirror.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Good morning, Love Island</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head was throbbing, but Jess couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun. After everyone realized they only knew one Spice Girls song, they transitioned over to the Backstreet Boys. And then Abba.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the end of the night, everyone other than Kassam had taken to the 'stage' to sing a song. Even Lottie, after revealing herself to be a Titanic aficionado, performed a dramatic rendition of ‘My Heart Will Go On.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah popped up during ‘Dancing Queen’ and insisted on the group singing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' which may have been the highlight of the evening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had never felt closer to a group of friends. They may not always get along, but she found herself ‘trapped’ on an island with the best people.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Bzzzzz</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Reaching for her phone, she alerted the sleeping islanders to her text. Rahim threw a pillow in her direction; it swerved past landing on her bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she directed at Rahim. “We’ll see if anyone picks you at the recoupling tonight with that attitude.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guys shot up in alarm, concerned faces fixated on her. All but Levi who pulled the sheets further over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you don’t have to leave. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>Attention Islanders, there will be recoupling tonight. The girls will choose their partners. Any boys without a partner will be dumped. #getyourgrafton #lastchance.”</b>
</p><p>
  <span>A sombre mood overtook the bedroom as the news sunk in. Two guys were going home. Looking over at Noah, his brows were furrowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, babe. I’m picking you,” Jess reassured. “You've got the best basket. Perfect for my eggs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I should make you breakfast to celebrate.” Noah jumped out of bed and headed off to start the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The rest of the guys look so nervous. None of the couples are settled at this point. Anyone could be leaving and they all know it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’ve already become such a good group, I wish no one had to leave. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl chat. Terrace. Ten Minutes,” Priya announced. Allegra responded with a grumble but mumbled, “fine,” before leaving the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a quick breakfast with Noah, Jess joined the rest of the girls on the terrace to discuss the dumping. A small argument was already in progress between Priya and Allegra. Jess could hear Priya from the stairs. “He doesn’t like you anymore. He only picked you last time out of guilt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that,” Allegra defended bitterly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I do. He told me. He also told me he would rather I pick him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He hasn’t said anything to me.” Allegra’s face paled as her tone became defensive and vulnerable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well. He’s afraid of you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, he wouldn’t be my first choice either. I have my eye elsewhere. If Lottie could stop claiming all the guys, it would open up more options for the rest of us,” Allegra sneered, refocusing her aggression towards Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Lottie snapped back, approaching Allegra like a feral cat ready to strike. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You freak out on Jess for getting with Levi, and me for cracking on Gary. If anyone was into Kassam, I bet you’d have a hissy fit on them too,” Allegra snarked. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She does have a point</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, is everyone into Gary?” Jess couldn’t help but ask, still standing at the entry to the terrace. “I like him and I’m glad he’s safe. But damn.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't get it either.” Priya shrugged. “I’m a bit worried about Jake. If I don’t pick him, I’m not sure who will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s such a great guy, I’ll be bummed if he leaves,” Jess agreed with a sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, let’s move on. Jess, who are you choosing?” Chelsea waved her closer, encouraging her to join them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah,” Jess answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Chelsea’s eyes flashed in surprise. “You don’t seem to get on that well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We don’t? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We get on great, things are good with Noah. He’s who I’m picking. What about you, Chelsea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please say Levi, please say Levi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby and I chatted about it, and I’m going to pick him if neither of us gets our first choice.” Chelsea bit her lip, looking away from the girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s your first choice?” Allegra asked, fixing her with a threatening gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea took a glance at Lottie, “I’d rather not say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, you’re the big mystery, who are you going with?” Priya pulled the attention away from Chelsea, who seemed grateful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure yet. I like them both. Kassam seems like the best choice on paper, we have more in common, but I don’t feel the pull towards him like I do with Gary,” Lottie said with a look of apprehension. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gotta go with your heart, not your head. This is Love Island. Not brain island.” Chelsea made a heart shape with her hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least Levi is going home. Good riddance.” Lottie gave Jess a hard look. “I’m surprised you don’t want to crack on with him. Thought you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally </span>
  </em>
  <span>into each other.” Jess didn't realize a person could roll their eyes so intensely. Lottie was truly a revelation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want him to go home, but things feel different now. Wrong in some way. I don’t know.” Jess couldn’t express how tainted the relationship felt, but everyone at least pretended to understand, nodding sympathetically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight is going to be interesting. We should make the guys fight over us,” Allegra suggested with glee. “They all should be trying to impress us. I wonder if we could make them compete.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like the sound of that. I’m at least going to try to get a massage out of this,” Priya said, her face gleaming, already in a world of sweaty men and massages. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, the ladies dispersed, off to enjoy the advances of the seven fit men of the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________                         </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a flurry of activity on the lawn. Gary, Rahim, and Noah were engaged in an intense push-up challenge judged by Allegra and Priya while Levi swam laps in the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie and Kassam were situated on the bean bags chatting while Bobby and Chelsea were in the kitchen working on some sort of baked good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat on the coping watching Levi swim. If today was going to be his last day, she wanted them to leave on good terms. Since the dramatic reveal of their relationship, they had avoided each other, never having a moment alone to process the fallout. Her focus shifted to reassuring Noah and she had abandoned Levi in the process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t seem fair he would have to leave while she stayed. Maybe she owed it to him to pick him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that wouldn’t be fair to Noah either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn’t tell if Levi was deliberately ignoring her or hadn’t noticed her presence. He looked focused. The way he moved through the water was a thing of beauty. His strong arms effortlessly driving him forward, showcasing every glistening muscle on his perfect body. As much as she was fighting it, she still wanted him desperately. Dipping her toes lightly in the water reminded her of her first morning in the villa. How had it only been a week since she sat here watching him swim, hoping he fancied her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, things were already over between them. They ruined something beautiful by rushing it, each too impatient and caught up in desire. Time worked differently in the villa, it felt like she had known him forever. Pulling himself out of the pool, he walked past- not acknowledging her existence. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess I can’t blame him for avoiding me. He’s been taking the brunt of the blame, while I’m happily coupled up. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it’s a good thing for us both he’s leaving?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back at the workout crew, Rahim had won the competition as he continued with pushups while the other guys sprawled out beside him. Allegra was egging him on, encouraging him to keep going with Priya beside her, enjoying the sweaty view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess started to walk towards them when she heard the unmistakable giggle of Chelsea. The sound was coming from the kitchen where she was chatting with Bobby. Shifting directions, she turned their way and moved towards the enticing smell of cake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning Jess, That outfit you’re wearing would make soufflés rise,” Bobby complimented her, before looking away and focusing on cleaning up the mess of flour strewn across the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that good or bad?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, soufflés are hard to perfect,” he answered matter-of-factly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never had a souffle before, you’ll have to show me sometime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise.” Studying his face it was hard to read his neutral expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does he like me or not? It’s so hard to tell sometimes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you making? Is it for me?” Jess directed towards Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cupcakes. Technically, they’re for everyone, but you can have the first.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone’s on edge today, so we wanted to do something fun,” Bobby said while mixing frosting in a bowl.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem to be in high spirits? Not worried about getting dumped?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever will be, will be.” He shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You definitely don’t need to worry babe. Even if I don’t pick you, someone will.” Chelsea put an arm on his shoulder, reassuring her partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as it’s not Allegra.” Bobby smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lot is going to depend on Lottie. What are you going to do if you pick before her?” Jess knew she was putting Chelsea on the spot but was too curious not to ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. I want to pick Gary, but is the wrath of Lottie worth it? I dunno.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had the same thoughts about Levi, so maybe not?” Jess pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What turned you off Levi? I mean you liked him, didn’t you? Why don’t you pick him?” Chelsea asked the question Jess herself had been considering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked up, momentarily seeming curious, but quickly returned focus to his frosting task. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s wrong with me and Levi? Why does it need to be over? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because that stabbing feeling in my gut is telling me it needs to be. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And Noah feels right. Kind and gentle with a loving family, good career. He’s stable and cute...everything I’ve ever needed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I would if he had been honest with Lottie. Or not picked her at all. Things feel different now. Noah is nice, it makes sense to give it a chance. The other morning he talked about me meeting his family. He’s already thinking about our future together.” Jess stroked her hair, wishing it was longer and there was more to twirl. The physical need to do something was overpowering, she was too aware of Chelsea’s piercing gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We could be a family. He could be my family. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby and Chelsea both looked serious. Bobby caught her eye and turned to stare off in the distance while Chelsea calmly spoke. “I don’t want to upset you, but are you sure about Noah? I mean, he threw Priya over for you and never apologized to her. He’s nice and all, but he seems fickle. And you don’t seem into each other. I feel like I barely see you together. Do you like him that much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know Noah’s made some mistakes, but so have I. We’re good together, he feels right. I should see it through.” Jess paused, considering how to respond. “Chelsea, I’m older than you, I need to be with someone responsible who wants the same things in life as me. I don’t have time to waste,” Jess admitted, knowing it sounded insane.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Twenty-seven isn’t that old, but it isn’t that young either. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Two years of dating. One year of marriage. Baby number 1. Two-year gap. Baby number 2. Two-year gap. Baby number 3. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She needed to meet her partner in the next two years if she wanted to be done having kids by her late thirties. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Chelsea was pushing her. Maybe it was what she needed, but it was stressful and overwhelming to be put on the spot like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mind wasn’t something she wanted Chelsea dissecting, but she was probing her, digging in and forcing her to defend her decisions. Jess felt rooted to the ground, wanting to make a run for it and leave this place behind.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why can’t she leave this alone? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stability, marriage, kids, someone I can depend on, a family. I want a family.” Jess desperately was trying to hold it together but could feel herself starting to break. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did I go from 'I’m here for fun' to 'I need to find my life partner here'? Is everything so heightened here it's turning me into a crazed marriage and baby obsessed trainwreck?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why am I so set on Noah? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t need to settle for someone you’re not into.” Bobby finally looked up. “Noah’s not the only one who you could have that with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who should I go for? Join everyone in cracking on Gary? Or you? The emotionally stunted man-child who turns everything into a dumb joke?” Jess shifted her weight, uncomfortable knowing she had crossed a line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not joking now. But fine, point made. Do whatever you want.” Bobby stood frozen in place, with a hurt, angry expression.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I will.” Storming off, Jess regretted her words with every step. They were right to be concerned and she attacked instead of taking their words with the intentions given.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should go back and apologize, that was a mean thing to say to Bobby. And it’s not even true. He is fun, but he’s also a good friend and someone I can have serious talks with. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s just...not the kinda guy you settle down with. If I was younger, maybe I would pick him. But now? He’s still years away from being emotionally ready for me.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know he likes me. Why was I trying to hurt him? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back over at the kitchen, he had already left. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope he’s ok. I should look for him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind. “Hey, Jess.” Noah greeted, kissing her on the cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, babe. Saw you were in the middle of quite the competition.” Jess turned to meet him, gently pulling away with a forced smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed, I didn’t win but my arms are going to be killing me tomorrow.” He shook his arms gently, before stretching them over his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, babe. Did you at least come in second?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, he answered, “No. Thankfully, I’m not the super competitive type.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, I hate that machismo garbage.” She kissed him quickly on the lips. “Not to kiss and run, but I gotta find Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, why?” His eyebow raised in a curious way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just do, let’s catch up later.” Without waiting for a response, Jess headed inside to begin her search. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lounge and bedroom were empty so she headed to the terrace. There were only so many places a person could be. Walking onto the terrace, Jess caught sight of Bobby’s dark locs and let out a sigh of relief. It made her stick to her stomach, knowing he was hurt and she was responsible. She overreacted to their criticism of her relationship and said something mean in response. Classic Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is why you can’t keep friends</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobs,” she called out before seeing both Levi and Bobby on the terrace. “Oh. Levi, hello.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi and Bobby both looked tense and frustrated as if she interrupted them mid conflict.  Whatever happened on the terrace had agitated them both.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if they were arguing about me. Or Chelsea? Maybe Chelsea lied to Bobby and is planning on picking Levi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I never considered that if she picks Levi, Bobby may have to leave.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you both up to?” she asked, not expecting answers, but not knowing what else to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, I was just leaving,” Levi said, immediately bolting for the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that about?” she directed towards Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced over at her and averted his eyes as if he accidentally looked into the sun. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t be mad at me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, what do you want?” Bobby asked, looking frustrated as he kept his focus fixed on the horizon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess needed him to forgive her, to relieve her of the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had to have meant it a little.” Bobby looked weary and hurt and all Jess wanted was to tell him he was wonderful and make him feel better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe a glimmer of truth, but it was mostly bollocks, I promise. Friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friends.” He looked up and gave a sad smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved forward to hug him and felt him relax into her, happy the queasy feeling was starting to leave her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry Bobby, I don’t know why I lash out like that. You’re wonderful and I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I get it.” Bobby pulled away and kissed her gently on the forehead. “We’re good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s not all the time, but I like it when you’re a man-child who turns anything into a joke. Things are tense here, we need your dumb jokes to keep us sane.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you like it.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes met hers with a quiet intensity, drawing her closer. She caught her gaze drifting to his lips, forcing herself to look away. To think about anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do. I like you a lot.” A shiver went down her spine as she realized how true her words were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did like him a lot, possibly too much. It reiterated what she’d already known. Bobby was too good of a friend to risk getting romantic with. If it ended poorly, she would lose the friendship as well. She needed to bury any dirty thoughts for Bobby deep down and lock them up for good. He was too important to throw away by getting physical on the terrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt losing Levi, she couldn’t lose Bobby as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the afternoon progressed without incidents. Levi continued avoiding her, which she didn’t try to remedy. The villa was quiet, other than grunting from the gym as some of the guys worked out. There weren't any last-minute grafting attempts, the guys seemed too laid back to be making any grand romantic gestures.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was anxious for the recoupling. Losing an islander was going to be awful, but the anticipation was driving her crazy. The sooner they recoupled, the sooner it would all be over and they could move on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby and Chelsea presented the group with cupcakes and the sugar boost did improve the group mood.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary pushed Bobby into the pool which resulted in the first laugh of an otherwise tense day. Jess and Chelsea held hands and followed after, covering Bobby and Gary both with water from the splash. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Within minutes, almost everyone joined them in the pool.  Even Kassam cracked a smile as Lottie splashed him lightly as he sat on the edge dangling his legs in the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The relaxed energy carried over until after dinner when the familiar beep of a phone was heard.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ok, recoupling time</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The girls sat on the benches while the guys stood in a line and waited. And waited. The tension overwhelmed to the point Jess wondered if the producers were intentionally torturing them. The power dynamic had shifted but it was somehow just as stressful being on the other side of the recoupling, with the girls holding the fates of boys in their perfectly manicured hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what felt like hours, Lottie’s phone beeped. Standing up and looking over at the guys, she seemed genuinely distressed. Her eyes were wide with confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lottie still doesn’t know who she wants to pick. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She took a deep breath, and her lips curled into a dangerous smile. “As everyone may know, I’ve been torn between who to pick tonight. I’ve been lucky to get to meet two great guys this week, and I wish I could pick both of you. Really, I do.” She winked in their direction. “But I have to listen to my heart. And the tea leaves. They both point in the same direction, which is why the guy I want to couple up with is Gary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary responded with a huge grin on his face, confidently sweeping Lottie into his arms and kissing her deeply. Lottie looked practically giddy as they sat down together. Kassam looked like Kassam. If he was surprised or disappointed, it wasn’t seen. His expression was blank and gave nothing away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was relieved to receive a text. Her part would soon be over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I have made some mistakes in the villa.” She looked over at Lottie, forcing herself to avoid eye contact with Levi. “But I’m excited and grateful to get a fresh start with this guy. He’s sweet and fit, and I can see a future with him. The boy I want to couple up with is Noah.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah smiled and walked over to her. He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her over to the bench. “Thanks for picking me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, I was only ever going to choose you.” She tried to stop herself but her eyes met Levi’s. He looked back at her for the first time all day with a hollow expression on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish we had spoken today, I need closure, we both do if we’re going to move on.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea went next and unsurprisingly chose Bobby with a nice speech about the power of friendship and cupcakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea, you’re the sweetest, I’m so happy to be coupled up with you,” Bobby said with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. They sat down together and Chelsea rested her head on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what I would have done if he left. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya stood next, her gaze falling over the remaining guys. Kassam, Ibrahim, Jake, and Levi. “I’m picking this boy because he’s a great mate and deserves a chance to find an incredible woman. Plus, he’s the best cook in the villa. I don’t know what we’d do without him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what about me?” Bobby called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shush, I’m recoupling here. I’m excited to couple up with this guy and help him practice his poetry, among other things.” Priya leered at him seductively. “The boy I want to couple up with is Jake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grateful Jake strode over and hugged her before they settled back down on the bench.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kassam, Levi, and Rahim now remained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi looked resigned to his fate, with no expectation of a miraculous last-minute appeal. He was going home, everyone knew it. It was time to make it official. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra stood before the three guys with a huge, satisfied smirk. She was clearly enjoying that the decision of who would be dumped was up to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I have to say. None of you are my first choice...” She trailed off, glaring at Rahim. Realization spread across his face, he had to know this wasn’t good for him. “But I have to choose one of you.” Taking extreme pleasure in the power, she dramatically paused, placing a finger teasingly to her chin. “Who to choose, who to choose? I’m picking this guy because I don’t think he’s gotten a fair shake and we’ve both been screwed over today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra stared down Lottie while continuing, “the boy I want  to couple up with is Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. I wanted Levi to stay, but not like this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Allegra? Are you trying to get back at me?” Lottie yelled out. “You don’t even like Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know Levi,” Allegra shot back. “You never gave anyone a chance to know him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s all cool it and move on,” Jake intervened, moving towards the girls. “We’re losing two guys, let’s not fight over it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn't help but watch Levi carefully, he seemed to want to be anywhere else. He reluctantly walked over to Allegra and sat down next to her. Rahim looked gutted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah received a text and read it for the group, “Rahim and Kassam, you have not been chosen and are dumped from the villa. Please pack your belongings and head to the exit immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie left to help the guys pack, obviously angling for a private goodbye with Kassam. If it bothered Gary at all, he didn’t show it. He looked thrilled to be staying and pulled Bobby over to the kitchen for celebratory shots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to watch Rahim leave. He was one of the originals and now a Spice Girl.  Everyone other than Allegra swarmed him with hugs, well wishes, and promises of hang-outs after the summer. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As everyone congregated in the bedroom, Jake’s phone let out the signature noise. A text had arrived.  He called out, “</span>
  <b>Islanders, the Hideaway is open. Please pick one couple to spend the night there.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It should be me and Gary,” Lottie immediately shot out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two literally just coupled up,” Allegra rebuked the suggestion with a sneer. “Why should you get to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it should be Noah and Jess,” Chelsea called out, trying to start a chant. “Noah and Jess, Noah and Jess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah and Jess have been coupled up the longest, it probably should be them,” Priya agreed but not seeming entirely convinced. A shadow of residual bitterness still existed between her and Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi didn’t say anything but left the room. Jess had accepted he was leaving, and while wanting him to stay, she never expected it to actually happen. There was awkwardness there she didn’t know how to deal with. Avoidance seemed to be his technique, but the villa was too small for them to not figure out how to co-exist. They needed to be able to live together without ending up fucking on the balcony. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tiny part of her wanted to abandon Noah and run off with Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go?” Noah asked, looking hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Jess quickly agreed as Noah smiled widely at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up, gut. I need to listen to my brain tonight. You want Noah, not Levi. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting on the biggest smile, she reached for Noah’s hand and was overtaken by a feeling of wrongness. Discordant energy stabbed her gut. This was wrong. Noah was wrong. On paper, he was perfect. They were perfect. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did it feel wrong?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span> As they left, she caught a glance of Bobby who looked about as miserable as she was beginning to feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding hands and walking into the hideaway, she felt weighed down by the pressure, bolted to the ground. Going to the hideaway meant something, it was an indication a couple was taking things to the next level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door shut and Noah responded immediately by kissing down her neck, pulling the strap of her nightgown down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess we’re getting right to it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are beautiful," he whispered before his mouth found her nipple. Jess moaned, trying to force her body to enjoy the feeling without worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” He asked, his voice low and lustful. She felt her walls fall and gave him a coy smile in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of you.” She kissed him, deep and strong, pressing herself against him. Pulling away, she directed his attention towards the bed and pushed him down. Straddling him, she began to stroke him, he was already hard and she wondered how far she actually wanted to take this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah trailed his fingers down her back grabbing her ass with both hands. He began to reach under her nightgown and pulled at her pants. Jess responded with a moan of approval and released Noah from his boxers. Grinding against him, she was aching for him, wet with desire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she remembered Chelsea’s words. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do I like Noah that much? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or am I making the same mistake?  Maybe we are rushing things. We’ve barely known each other a week. What does it say about me if I fuck two guys in the same week? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There's nothing wrong with taking our time. Just because we’re in the hideaway doesn’t mean we have to have sex. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, but could we wait? I want to do this, obviously,” she said, gesturing down. “But we haven’t known each other that long and I think I want to wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t want to wait with Levi?” He frowned, a look of frustration and confusion on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Low blow. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and it's part of why I want to take my time with you. I don’t want you to be a mistake, I want us to work.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, I guess.” Noah awkwardly reached for his boxers while Jess moved away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guess? What’s that supposed to mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head. “Nothing, sorry. I’m disappointed but I get it. When it happens for us, it’s going to be great. I’m fine waiting,” Noah reassured, his tone was polite, but there was something off in it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we could have a nice cuddle?” She reached over and put her arms around him, hugging him from the back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds nice.” He grinned, relaxing into her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” Jess challenged, not wanting their evening to end too early just because sex was off the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are lots of things you don't know about me. Here’s one. Every Sunday at the library, I read books and play music for toddler storytime. It’s so much fun, I do the voices and everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing, Noah.” She shifted closer to him, studying his face intently. He looked serious, it was hard to imagine him reading silly stories for children, but it was something she wanted to see. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kids are such a blast. I can’t wait to have them.” He stroked her arm gently as she laid her head on his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me either. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Falling asleep in Noah’s arms, she felt at peace. Maybe they were at the beginning of something truly incredible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or not? There was still this nagging feeling about Noah she couldn’t shake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But either way, they were worth a shot.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Let us remember that a traitor may betray himself and do good that he does not intend.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jess walked out onto the terrace. The moon was unusually bright tonight, a cool breeze drifted through her messy hair, her lacy nightgown gently caressing the sides of her thighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lacy nightgown? I hate lace. It’s never as comfortable as it looks. And pink? I never wear pink.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There he was. The moon hovering behind him, casting a silhouette. Perfectly accentuating every curve, every muscle, every bulge.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She stepped forward and saw him more clearly in the dim light. Levi. His body shimmered like he’d just gotten out of the pool. Was he actually wet or were her eyes playing tricks on her? No, that was a distinct bead of condensation dripping down. Slowly curving around his hard chest, falling lower down and rippling over his abs... One, two, three, four. Disappearing against the fabric of his black briefs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what are you looking at?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh god, she was staring. “Um, nothing I-” Jess stuttered as Levi stepped toward her. His hand reached behind her head, lightly tangling his fingers in her hair before grasping them and gently tugging her head forward, bringing their eyes inches from each other. He grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I just couldn’t remember if they were blue or if they were green.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sounds like Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi, I -” Jess barely got a word out before his lips were on hers. It was forceful.  With a lunge he pushed her against the wall, pushing his mouth onto hers, his chest against her, his waist pressing into her nighty. She could feel every bit of his length against her thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God, he’s so hard. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Desperation overtook her. Shock held her hands at her sides, but lust moved them forward. Jess reached her hands around Levi and gripped onto his back. Gliding her hands over every ripply muscle before landing on his hips. Levi let out a soft moan as her nails dug into his skin. His teeth pressed against hers, hot air escaping his mouth against her as he gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you, Jess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So take me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s head lowered as he forced his face between her breasts, drawing his tongue along her skin, hungrily kissing between one side and the other. He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arm around her back, pulling Jess forward with one hand as he took her nipple in his mouth. Jess let out a moan as his other hand crawled up her and landed on her other breast. The simultaneous sucking with his mouth and gentle caressing with his fingers was too much to bear. She bucked her hips against his chest, a warm feeling starting to envelop her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi pulled his lips away and looked up to Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I was in the mood for something sweet tonight but I wasn’t expecting to find anything,” Levi said with a smile, his hands trailing down and playing with the elastic of her pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want something sweet, you should talk to Bobby. He’s a great bak-” Jess lost her words as Levi twisted his thumbs through the straps of her panties and slid them down to her ankles. Cool air against damp bodies. The breeze was more apparent now, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up about him, he can’t do this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no teasing, no testing. Levi’s mouth went exactly where she wanted. His hands wrapped around her body, sliding down her back and landing on her ass. Levi’s fingers slid over her bottom, gripping her and pulling her forward, her centre now against his mouth, his hot breath contrasting the cool breeze. Jess leaned back against the wall and clenched her eyes shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The warmth of his tongue was almost unbearable. Hot, wet, enveloping. He pushed his mouth forward onto Jess’ mound, licking under at the silky centre, revelling in every twitch, every shudder of her body. His hands explored her backside, sliding up and down over her ass, pausing every so often to tease as she pressed herself into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With every lick, every kiss, every caress she felt herself getting closer. Jess found her hands resting on Levi’s shoulders. A jolt sent her nails into his back. She felt his hot breath gasp against her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck yes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess opened her eyes, blurred sparks danced in her vision. She needed to see him, wanted to watch as he took all of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, god please no.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, shaking the haze from her eyes. “Please, I’m so close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Casting her eyes down towards him, it was Noah looking back up at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shot up in her bed, overwhelmed by the intensity of her dream. Turning to look at Noah, he was facing away from her on the opposite side of the bed, snoring loudly. After that dream, the need for a cold shower was intense. But she would settle for coffee and a change of scenery. Jess left in search of both. She made her way to the kitchen where she found Priya enjoying a morning cuppa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, beautiful,” Jess called out as she approached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, what are you doing up so early? Thought you’d be sleeping in after your big night?” Priya answered with a smile that seemed less than genuine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, once I’m up, I’m up. I usually get up pretty early for work. Why are you up so early?” Jess asked as she started a kettle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I may have gotten used to Noah’s snoring, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. It was too quiet in there even with Lottie.” She shrugged and took a sip of her tea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it. I’ve gotten pretty used to it myself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So did things go bump in the night?” Priya asked, looking curious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh… not exactly. We’re taking it slow.” Jess picked at her fingernails nervously. “I don’t want to rush things after everything with Levi. Noah’s been great about it, I know he’s not perfect but he’s been understanding and wonderful about it all” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Priya didn’t seem entirely convinced but left it alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are things with you and Jake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re fine. Physically very good. But I only picked him because I didn’t want him to go home. If I would have known Allegra was going to turn into such a snake, I would have picked Rahim.”  Priya sadly sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m glad we’re on the other side of the recoupling, but I wish Rahim could have stayed. I thought Levi was going to leave, I was ready for it. Now I don’t know what to do. He’s been completely avoiding me...I feel like we need to talk things through...” Jess trailed off, disappointed at the deterioration of her relationship with Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks like you’re going to have your chance.” Priya gestured over to Levi who was walking towards them, dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt, carrying a suitcase. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rushed over to Levi in a panic. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.” Meeting her eye, he looked stoic and determined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Just because things didn’t work out for us doesn’t mean you aren’t going to find someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't leave because of me. I’m not worth it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really want me to stay?” Levi set down his suitcase, fixing her with a classic ‘Levi’ intense stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course,” she asserted, trying to make her words sound true. In reality, life would be easier for her without the temptation of Levi.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you feel guilty?” Levi accused, a tinge of resentment in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s not it,” Jess said, tensing up at the accusation. “I care-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s exactly it, you don’t want to be the reason I leave. But you are. So, deal with it.” He shrugged, reaching down for his suitcase. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want things to be like this for us. You mean a lot to me,” she said sadly, reaching a hand towards him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hard demeanour softened and he moved closer. “You mean a lot to me too. I can’t be here and watch you get off with Noah or Bobby or whoever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, I’m sorry. I’m sorry things worked out this way. I wish...I guess I wish things were different. Maybe if we had done things differently…..” She couldn’t finish,  not knowing what she could say to make things better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi reached for her hands and pulled her into his arms. After a long embrace, she pulled away looking into his intense brown eyes. “One last kiss?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed her face gently with his hands and pulled her into a long, sweet kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Jess,” he said as they finally came apart. She stroked his chest fondly, remembering how much she’d loved the feel of him against her. Taking him in one last time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Levi.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused, looking like he desperately wanted to stay, for her to stop him, but turned and walked out of the villa. Jess waved goodbye when he gave her one last glance before leaving. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s wrong with me? </span>
  </em>
  <span>  She pressed her hands against the side of her face, wanting to disappear from it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya walked over, placing her hand on her shoulder. “I’m here if you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m ok, I need to head back to the hideaway. Noah’s probably missing me,” Jess interrupted and scurried off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Conflicting emotions of guilt, relief, and regret fought for dominance. Levi was gone and she didn’t know how to feel about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess buried her feelings, happily returning to Noah in the hideaway before joining the rest of the islanders for breakfast. The news that Levi left spread through the villa like wildfire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra was fuming about being single. “How could he do this to me? After I saved him. That’s the last time I do something nice for anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, that was for him? You picked him for your own selfish reasons,” Lottie accused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if this means Rahim could come back,” Priya suggested. “We do have an uneven amount of people now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it means Allegra should go home?” Lottie shot Allegra an intense gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool it guys, can we eat something before arguing? Levi literally just left,” Jake pointed out in an attempt to calm the group down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is all Jess’s fault. She fucked Levi and now he’s fucked me. I’m single and it’s her fault. Levi wouldn't have left if she hadn’t led him on like a slag,” Allegra spat out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was struck by an inability to defend herself. Allegra wasn’t exactly wrong. Looking over at Noah, his eyes were fixated on his toast. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can he just sit there? I want him to defend me, be a partner and he can’t even have my back when I’m being attacked at the breakfast table by a snotty gremlin. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t Jess’s fault. Go calm down Allegra, come back when you’re ready to be an adult about this.” Jake’s stern voice carried over the group, quieting Allegra who left the kitchen in a huff.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to be stronger, fight my own battles. It shouldn’t be up to Noah or Jake to save me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jake.” Jess looked over at him, it was strange to see him so passionate. Seeing another side of him served to remind Jess how little they actually knew each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the morning went without incident, the subject of Levi left alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he dominated Jess’s thoughts, along with new concerns about Noah. She knew he was a coward by how he handled things with the first recoupling, but now his timidity felt like a real problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a small problem, but a crack in any foundation could lead to disaster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah’s actions suddenly seemed very familiar. Her ex had been just as passive, unwilling to fight even small battles, giving in because it was easier. Always taking his friends' side in minor disputes.  Never being a true partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Noah different or another dead end? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later in the afternoon, Jess went for a villa walk. Scanning the lawn, she spotted Bobby, Priya, and Allegra deep in conversation on a daybed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Weird. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Glancing around the villa, she spotted a sunbathing Chelsea and moved towards her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, lovely. Join me for some sun?” Chelsea waved her closer, smiling widely at her arrival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, thank you. I could use some calm, chill time today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhhh. Don’t say that so loud.” The blonde gestured into the air. “They might hear us. Next thing you know we’ll be covered in mud, rolling around, wrestling.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, that doesn't sound so bad….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even,” Chelsea said with a smile. “Look how good my hair looks today.” She pointed at her hair, which was loosely curled in a way that looked natural but involved a perfectly crafted technique</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Beeeep</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” Chelsea said, raising her eyebrow knowingly. “I got a text!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group quickly surrounded them while Chelsea read out the text. “Islanders, It’s time to put your cards on the table and put your feelings out there in today’s challenge ‘Snog, Marry, Pie’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Challenge days are the best days. I hope there’s more snogging than pieing.” Gary fist-pumped a reluctant Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak for yourself mate, I can’t wait for some pie.” Bobby raised an eyebrow, smirking lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi picked the right time to run away, if anyone deserved to get pied it’s that snake.” Lottie couldn’t help but bring up the elephant in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t we just do a kissing challenge?” Chelsea asked. “I’m so sick of snogging”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could never get tired of snogging. Guys, mouthwash now,” Priya instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later the group met at the challenge stage. Jake and Priya stood in the front while Priya read out the instructions. The boys and girls line up and take turns to choose who they want to snog, marry, and pie. Priya pointed out a table filled with cheap rings, thin cakes, and whipped cream canisters to assist in the challenge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls went first as Priya confidently approached Jake for a kiss. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>went </span>
  </em>
  <span>for it, pulling Jake in for an intense kiss as everyone hollered, cheering them on. Jake looked happy but flushed afterwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe there is something there </span>
  </em>
  <span>... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She proposed to Bobby and in surprise to no one, pied Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra kissed Gary, proposed to Noah, and pied Bobby, who she probably heard making snarky jokes about her too many times. Bobby proceeded to try the whipped cream before denouncing it, declaring he could do it better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie kissed Gary, who immediately bragged about being the top snogger in the villa. She proposed to Bobby and pied Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next, it was Jess’s turn. Surveying the line of men, she quickly came to a decision. “I’m going to snog Bobby because it's a challenge tradition at this point.” She went to give him a quick peck, but couldn’t resist following it with a longer kiss that he more than reciprocated. He pulled her closer, and she welcomed his tongue in, her insides felt on fire. She wanted more but knew she needed to de-escalate things quickly. As she gently ended the kiss, she used her tongue to lick some whipped cream still on the corner of his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Delicious,” she smiled lightly at him. He looked stunned, but couldn’t hide the excitement in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Realizing how bad it must have looked, she quickly shifted away and tried to collect herself. Walking over to Noah, she got down on one knee. “I want to marry Noah because he’s got the best collection of squiddles and would make an amazing husband. And I know I can always count on you to cut up my toasties.” Sliding the ring on, Noah looked irritated. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as they met hers.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. I hope he’s not too upset with me. It’s a silly challenge kiss. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The easiest decision was who to pie. Gary needed a knock to his ego, so Jess hit him in the face with the pie until he was completely covered. Even his hair wasn’t left out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to get you back for that.” He laughed boisterously, pointing her way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I can’t wait,” Jess replied with a wink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea went last, choosing to kiss Gary, propose to Bobby, and pie Noah.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wow, I can’t believe so many people pied Noah. And kissed Gary. And married Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby waved his hand around, proudly displaying his three engagement rings. “You two are missing out on a lifetime of this.” Bobby smouldered, wriggling his body like a snake while gesturing towards Allegra and Jess. Allegra rolled her eyes, while Jess almost fell to the floor from giggling so hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the boys, Jake began by sweetly kissing Priya. Walking down the line of girls, he got down on one knee in front of Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea, you are the nicest, most fun girl I’ve ever known. Would you do the honour of marrying me?” he asked, looking up at her earnestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea squealed in delight, “I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life. Yes, of course.” She pulled him in for a hug before he left to choose who to pie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking down the line, Jake smiled at Jess before pieing Allegra in the face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary’s choices surprised no one. He kissed Lottie, proposed to Jess, and pied Allegra.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously guys, pie someone else next time,” Allegra called out, annoyed by how much she was targeted in the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m loving it,” Lottie directed a smirk at Allegra. “I only wish I could pie you myself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby went next. He seemed nervous, but walked right over to Chelsea and gave her a quick peck. He walked over to Jess with a slight smile and got down on one knee. “I want to marry Jess because she’s beautiful, fun, and the best prank buddy a guy could ask for. Please please please marry me?” He teasingly asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Jess laughed as he put the ring on her finger, before standing to pull her in for a hug. Her cheek touched his and she burned from his touch, not wanting the feeling to end. Reluctantly she extricated herself from his arms and he winked before beelining it to pie Allegra.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Allegra is the popular choice to pie. Can’t say I blame them. If I could pie anyone, it would be her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>With Levi gone, Noah was last. His expression was neutral, typical for Noah. He was always a bit difficult to read, making his actions hard to predict. He avoided eye contact with Jess and went to Priya and pulled her in for a kiss. She reacted with surprise and started to pull away before deepening the kiss instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t think she still liked him, interesting. This should bother me more, seeing my guy kiss his ex. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah moved over to Jess next and proposed. It felt half-hearted, but nice. He seemed a bit stiff, probably still annoyed with her. She would have to apologize for kissing Bobby. But hadn’t he done the same thing to her by kissing Priya? What did any of it matter? It was just harmless challenge kisses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surveying her hand, Jess couldn’t help herself from growling, “my precious,” which made Bobby and Priya both giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look who’s Miss Marriage material over here?” Jess called out showing off her rings. “Even more marriage material than the Bobster over there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we got married, imagine the domestic royal life we would have. Think about it…” He smiled flirtatiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess carefully considered the prospect, putting a finger to her chin as she feigned being in deep thought. “Maybe. As long as you do the cooking. And cleaning. And drive me everywhere. And put out at least twice a week.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, that sounds like so much work. Pass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your loss.” Jess grinned at him and shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah cleared his throat, drawing attention back to him. “Mind if I finish?” He was holding his pie in front of the girls, lips pursed in irritation. Jess mouthed 'sorry' as he went to pie Lottie in the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, my makeup. Screw you, Noah,” Lottie said, wiping the pie from her face as quickly as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged and turned away, returning to his place in the line as someone's phone beeped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya yelled out, “TEXT. Islanders, guys, It's a party!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea jumped up and down as Priya continued. “Ministry of Sound party tonight.” The cheering could be heard for miles as the islanders celebrated.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, that sounds amazing! And so needed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby immediately tried to start a food fight, grabbing the can of whipped cream and spraying Gary.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess joined the others in the excitement of watching Gary chase down Bobby but was quickly disrupted by an approaching Noah. “We need to talk,” he said and gestured towards the terrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring the sick feeling forming in her stomach, she smiled and led the way to the terrace. Once there, she flung herself at Noah kissing his neck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He just needs a little reassurance. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Noah seethed as he pulled away. “You made a fool of me out there. How could you kiss Bobby in front of everyone? Again? Do you like him or something? He’s always sniffing around you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re friends, I’m not going to pretend there’s not a little something there, but nothing has happened beyond the challenges. I’m with you. I’m committed to us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It makes me wonder. Do you like me or are you playing the game?” He asked, his eyes flashing with exasperation. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can he ask me that? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do like you, Noah. I like you a lot,” she said, trying to convince them both of this fact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you? You keep shutting me down anytime we get close.” He turned away trying to hide his cold expression as he looked over the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because I haven’t wanted to have sex yet doesn’t mean I don’t like you,”  she said, raising her voice in annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this argument really happening? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, if you cared about me you wouldn't treat me this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you? You kissed Priya and I didn’t get upset with you.” Waving her hands in frustration, pointing out his hypocrisy, she felt herself losing control.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does it say that you didn’t care?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who says I didn’t care? I trust you and Priya and again, it’s just a dumb game. I know it doesn’t mean anything. Is this really what you're upset about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was he trying to make me jealous? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was silent for a long moment before answering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re trying to make yourself better for making a cuck out of me. First Levi and now Bobby?” Raising his voice, he continued, “really Jess?” Noah stormed off, leaving Jess confused and angry with her head buried in her hands.</span>
</p><p><span>Jess hid out on the terrace, dissecting the fight. </span><em><span>We’re both to blame. I shouldn’t have kissed Bobby, but he should have told me it bothered me instead of freaking out.</span></em> <em><span>I’m going to apologize and hope he does the same</span></em><span>. </span></p><p>
  <span>She stood only to flop down on the bench again. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck it. I’m tired of apologizing and walking on eggshells around everyone. I’m tired of trying so damn hard to please everyone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m tired of caring so much about what people think of me, if they like me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of heading back downstairs was humiliating. She wasn’t ready to talk to Noah and suspected her fight with him may have been heard by the other islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to the terrace opened and Jess was joined by a concerned looking Jake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded in response. “Just wanted a little space.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to leave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, thanks. I wanted to avoid some people down there. I feel a little overwhelmed.” Jess paused letting the silence linger. “Noah and I had a fight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby and Levi. And me embarrassing Noah by cracking on with them. Even though nothing’s going on with me and Bobby, he’s freaking out on me about how I kissed him earlier. It didn’t mean anything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure about that?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do spend a lot of time together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re just friends, Bobby is too immature for anything more. I need to focus on Noah and get things back on track there,” she explained carefully, not wanting to go into detail. Or examine her feelings too closely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to tell you something.” He seemed nervous but continued. “I heard it from someone that there's a plan in place to test your relationship. See if he would cheat on you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” She felt the colour drain from her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some people are trying to see if they can turn Noah’s head.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who would do that? Why? The moment she asked herself, she knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?” she quietly asked, trying to keep her anger from showing. </span>
  <em>
    <span> I know, just confirm it for me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I’d rather not say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, please,” she pleaded, needing confirmation before she accused them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, Priya, and Allegra. I don’t know the details. I guess they’re calling it the Stop-Ness Project. I’m sorry, I don’t think anything will come of it. Noah cares for you.” Jake squeezed her hand gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for telling me this. Seriously, Jake. Thank you. You’re the best.” Jess kissed him on the cheek before leaving the terrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m going to kill Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10: NO ADMITTANCE EXCEPT ON PARTY BUSINESS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Fueled by rage, Jess moved through the house searching for her betrayers. It was overdramatic, but she needed to find them, yell at them before she somehow turned the blame around on herself. Instead, she found Noah in the lounge, looking distressed as he met her eyes. He slowly walked towards her, focusing intensely, his face pale and eyes wide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for earlier, I shouldn't have said those things. I was being a jealous idiot. Are we ok?” he asked, genuine concern showing on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank goodness.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt her body relax. “Of course. I’ll try to be more respectful in the future. And reassure you I fancy you daily. I never want you to doubt that.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips before relaxing into his arms, enjoying the familiar feel of his body against hers. He felt warm and comfortable. But as usual, something felt off. Was he too tall? Too something she couldn’t put her finger on? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitantly pulled away, his brows furrowed in concern. “I do need to tell you something important.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do I, but you first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for her hand, pulling her close. “Allegra tried to kiss me earlier. I’m not sure why, I didn’t give her any signals, but she did.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, she did. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a small breath before responding. “I’m not surprised, she’s a trouble-making snake. And now she’s single so she’s looking for new prey. Thank you for telling me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess carefully considered the fallout before deciding to share the details of the plan. “I may know a bit more on the why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah listened as Jess detailed what she learned from Jake about the dumb scheme to test them. A tense, angry expression emerged on his face. He left vowing to have a chat with Bobby while Jess retreated to the bedroom for a nap. Or at least pretend to nap while she dwelled on the day's events. She wasn’t surprised by Allegra’s actions, but Priya and Bobby’s betrayal hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Especially Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya could be forgiven, Noah screwed with her emotions and pied her off without a second thought. Jess understood Priya's motivations and while it hurt, she got it. But Bobby? He was supposed to be her friend. Yes, there was something more there, a spark at the very least, but it infuriated her that he would jump to sabotaging her relationship with Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt physically ill knowing he tried to manipulate Noah and was willing to hurt her in the process. What gave him the right to play games with her life? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was a good person. At least she thought he was. Had she completely misjudged him? </span>
  <em>
    <span>How well can any of us know each other? It’s been nine days. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As voices were heard approaching the bedroom, Jess pulled the covers over her hoping they would think she was sleeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m going to stay here for a while. Maybe forever.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________                         </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Forever lasted until Allegra and Priya arrived and began excitedly chatting about the big party tonight. Jess reluctantly pulled herself out of bed and shuffled over to the changing room to get ready. She picked out a slinky red number that always made her feel sexy and started curling her hair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>May as well pretend to be ok. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the girls slowly trickled in, without showing signs anything was amiss. Jess quietly finished her hair and makeup while the girls gabbed. The room filled with Priya’s signature coconut scent, soon compromised by an overwhelming smell of hairspray.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How are they all playing this so cool? Does everyone hate me so much? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking back tears, she left the room. Sighing, she focused her breath slowly until she recovered, successfully fighting back the tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can do this. I need to do this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess returned to the changing room reinvigorated. This wasn’t her fault, she was the victim, she deserved to be upset about their machinations. Rage was simmering within her, desperately needing release. “So, anything anyone wants to tell me?” She challenged the girls, staring them down with as intense a look as she could manage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence filled the room. Chelsea seemed genuinely confused. Lottie shrugged but her face contained an expression of guilt. Priya averted her eyes while Allegra confidently smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t feel so good being on the other side of it does it?” Allegra said with snarky contempt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to know what happened and why.” Jess looked at Priya, searching her face for answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah is a creep, he’s not who you think he is. We’re looking out for you,” Priya said calmly while continuing to primp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Chelsea asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess ignored Chelsea and rolled her eyes at Priya. “Please don’t pretend you did this for me. You’re salty he dumped you. I get it, but don’t act like this is about anything but that.” Jess turned to Allegra. “I know you tried to kiss him. And I know Priya and Bobby had something to do with it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tried to kiss him? Is that what he told you? Hun, I’m sorry but I kissed him and he kissed me back. He’s quite passionate, it was a nice surprise.” Allegra smiled, looking pleased with herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a liar,” Jess flatly responded, trying to look unaffected.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s not, Jess. You have this idea in your head about who Noah is and he’s just not,” Priya said, concern glimmering in her eyes. “You deserve better than him.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not Jess’s biggest fan but, it was shitty of you to do this,” Lottie finally spoke, offering Jess a tiny supportive smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Lottie. I....I thought we were friends.” Jess looked at Priya, hoping for an apology. After a few moments of silence, Jess accepted it wasn’t coming. She sighed and left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. There’s gold tattoos. Can you do mine?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess could hear Allegra’s voice as she walked away, feeling dejected and broken by people she trusted. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At least there would be drinks tonight. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess went outside and immediately headed to the bar set up in the kitchen, feeling too many emotions at once. Anger at Bobby. Disappointment in Priya. Confusion over who to believe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did </span>
  </em>
  <span>Noah kiss Allegra? Sadness over Levi. So much happened today, but his absence was still at the forefront of her thoughts. If Noah was already cheating, it made Levi’s exit feel pointless. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does any of this matter? </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s a dumb game show, she tried to remind herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, Bobby felt like a real friend. Was any of it genuine? Or was he using the “friend” approach to get into her pants?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finding a glass, she poured a shot of tequila and quickly took it. Gary approached. “Starting already? I’m impressed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say? It’s been a shitty day. And shitty days call for tequila.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary poured himself a glass. “My days been good, but no one should have to drink alone.” He took a shot and eyed her cautiously. “You ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, as well as I can be. Assuming you know what’s going on,” she said, as Gary nodded in response. “It’s all a bit much. Have you seen Bobby?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for a while. He was the one who told me everything. I think he was feeling a bit guilty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He should. I feel like an idiot for thinking he was a friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should talk to him, I think he was trying-” Gary’s attempt at defending Bobby was the last thing she wanted to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t,” Jess interrupted. “I’m sorry but can we change the subject? Let’s talk about anything else. What’s your nan like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary lit up at the question. “I get it, no problem. Let me tell you, mate. That woman is amazing Totally foul mouth. Doesn’t take cheek from anybody. Tongue as sharp as lemon juice. But wonderful and supportive. She’s 73 and still cooks for the whole family every Sunday. I don’t know where I’d be without her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary and Jess drank together while he wowed her with stories of his Nan who seemed too incredible to be real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, she hits him with her shoe, and he runs towards-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie joined them and an odd comradery fell over the girls both feuding with Allegra. They weren’t friends, not even close, but the animosity coming from Lottie had lessened. She wasn’t polite but glared less at Jess as they each complained about Allegra. After Jess was properly buzzed, she decided to seek out Bobby. There was less anger, but she still needed them to have it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like magic, he appeared. With Priya coming down from the terrace. Of course, they would be together. It somehow made her more annoyed with them both. She pierced Bobby with a cold stare, hoping to at least make him aware of how pissed she was at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have practised this in the mirror. He just looks confused. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The music was starting on the lawn, the garden had been transformed, fairy lights and luminous globes hung overhead, bathing the scene in twinkling gold. If Jess was in a better mood, she would have loved it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea ran over to her, grabbed her arm, and pulled her onto the dance floor. Starting up a small but epic dance party, Chelsea thankfully didn’t mention anything about Nollegra. Allegno? Regardless, Jess felt grateful for the distraction. The list of people she could count on had grown short in an evening. She looked over at Noah to find him looking past as if he didn’t see her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Weird. Why is he avoiding me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Doubts of being able to trust Noah seeped into her thoughts. Did he hook up with Allegra? Was Priya right about everything? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do I even care? I almost feel relieved at an excuse to move on, guilt-free.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Clinging to Chelsea, she avoided conversation. Choosing to stick to the dance floor, only leaving for a drink refill. Jess, Chelsea, Lottie, and Gary formed a dance circle and it kept everyone else at a distance. Bobby kept glancing over at her, but she avoided returning his look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally stealing a peak, she saw he was dancing with Priya and Jake. Bobby had the look of someone desperately pretending to have fun. She watched as he flossed, making Priya and Jake both laugh. He looked back over at her, slight surprise on his face to find her watching him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. This is too much, I need a break. Maybe Levi had the right idea, leaving. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned and left, heading for the terrace. When she arrived, she realized Bobby had followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mouth open, he looked at her unsure of what to say. “Didn’t want any tattoos like the others?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be honest, I’ve had other things on my mind thanks to you,” she bitterly shot back, taking another attempt at a withering stare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was often so loud and out there, but at the moment he looked like a scared boy, waiting to be scolded. Guilt and concern spread across his face as he avoided eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Jess quietly asked the only question she needed an answer to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you please tell me why? Why did you try to sabotage my relationship with Noah? And how the hell could you team up with Allegra after what she did to Rahim? Why any of it?” Her frustration rushed to the surface. “I thought we were friends. I thought you were someone I could trust to have my back. Not stab it the second I turned away. What happened to </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t like drama</span>
  </em>
  <span>? How can someone who says that cause so much in a day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shifted uncomfortably at the accusations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really not have anything to say? You always have something to say.” Jess raised her voice even louder, rage boiling over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I’m sorry, but we were looking out for you. Noah is... He’s not good enough for you. I don't know how you can’t see it. He used Priya, dumped her without warning, and has been looking to jump ship because you aren’t sleeping with him yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know that?” Jess asked, her voice dropping to just above a whisper. “Oh wait, Priya. Of course. Your partner in crime.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby reacted defensively, matching her irritation. “Your precious Noah told Allegra the other night he wished he would have stayed with Priya. I believe the word used was frigid.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wouldn't have said that. Why would you believe Allegra anyway? She’s clearly trying to cause chaos. She thrives on it.” She rubbed her eyes, exhausted by the situation and feeling the drinks hitting her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but do you trust Priya? I know you think we were being malicious, but I promise you we weren’t. Other than Allegra. She’s literally the worst. Priya and I care a lot about you. I didn’t want to do this. It felt like the only way to get you away from Noah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s bullshit. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. Noah might be a mistake but it’s not your place to sabotage things. Now, even if you’re wrong, how can I trust him?  And are you seriously pretending what you did was noble? Like you don’t have an ulterior motive?” Her mouth twisted in anger, furious no one was willing to apologize. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean.” With a disarming look, he averted his eye towards the sky as if something caught his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, whatever. Priya is bitter about Noah dropping her for me, and you? Do I even need to say it?” Jess pursed her lips, frustrated he was still pretending to be the Villa good guy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby sat down, eyes focused on his hands as he rubbed them awkwardly together. “I like you, you know. I guess you know I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t give you the right to fuck with my life this way. It wasn’t your place. How can I trust you anymore? If we got together, would you ask someone to graft on me to test my loyalty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not.” He sounded defensive, raising his voice to match the intensity of hers as he stood again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you say </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course not</span>
  </em>
  <span> after what you did today? I thought I could trust you. I thought you were a good person. Now I know you’re another one of those shitty guys I’ve vowed never to trust. I can’t believe I thought you cared, I feel like an idiot.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His expression softened, taking her words in as harshly as they were intended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I really am. I was being an eejit. You’re right about it all. I’m sorry, I do care about you, I hate you think I don’t.” He deflated, his voice trembling as he spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wave of relief struck her and she felt her body relax. The tension of the day evaporated and she could have fallen to the ground in response to the weight leaving her. By apologizing, he freed her from the anger and frustration building from within.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was exactly what she needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quietly sighing, everything felt a bit better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that so hard? All night I've wanted someone to apologize to me, and all I’ve been getting is shitty excuses.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about that too.” He forced a smile but it was broken and wistful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked genuinely remorseful and it broke her heart to see him that way even if it was his own doing. Any resolve slipped away and she was left wanting to take all his pain away. Her anger subsided, overtaken by the warm feelings consuming her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you, too.” She knew there was no putting the lid back on it. He was wrong for her in every way, they were completely incompatible. But she liked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever she felt for him was exactly what was missing with Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her stomach tightened, waiting for him to respond, unsure of what she wanted his reaction to be. Maybe it would be easier for them both if she was wrong and her feelings weren’t reciprocated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of happiness, he looked saddened by her confession, like it broke him into another piece. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not like that. I really like you. As more than friends. I have for a while.” He sighed sadly, looking into her eyes, missing the point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I’m not an idiot. I like you a bit that way too,” she admitted, studying his reaction. His eyes widened adorably in surprise, making her melt even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?” He squeaked as if his voice was unable to process the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think Noah’s had his pants in a twist all day? I like you a lot, but I wonder if we would be right together. Especially after the shit you pulled today. We’re pretty different. And maybe it might work here? But in the real world? I don’t know.” She shrugged, looking away towards the night sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The stars are awfully beautiful tonight. I feel like it’s mocking me with how shitty my night has been. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize you had thought about it. Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>you with Noah? Honestly?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The big “why” in my life right now. Why Noah? Maybe because he reminds me so much of my ex it hurts. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nice, dull, hardworking, beautiful, great with kids, perfect husband material. Physically, they had nothing in common. Paul was shorter with dark hair, blue eyes, and a light complexion. He worked as an estate agent, had a dry sense of humour, and was perfect in all the right ways. Jess still couldn’t be sure where things went wrong, how they became so bored with each other. She regretted it, if things played out differently, she could visualize a life where they were married with children. The only question was, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Would we have eventually ended up in the same place</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bored with each other and regretful.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She prepared to answer, still not knowing the answer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why Noah? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know everyone thinks I’m probably a giant whore after what happened with Levi. But I’m not. At least not usually. He’s only the fourth guy I’ve been with,” Jess revealed, keeping her eyes focused on her hands, nervous about sharing so much of herself with the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a quick glance at him, Bobby seemed surprised but didn't say anything so she continued. “High school boyfriend, college boyfriend, and post-college boyfriend. I’m Miss Monogamy. That’s part of why I came here, to do something different. I guess I did. Hello Levi.” She paused to offer a dark chuckle in memory of the poor decision. “And everything fell apart so quickly I went back to what felt right. Hence, Noah. He feels like the kind of guy you marry. And I want someone like him. Someone serious. Solid and dependable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked up at Bobby who seemed hurt by the implication but still focused on her, taking in every word. She could hear the pulsating repetitive music coming from below, increasing her anxiety with its intense beat. “I’m not in love with Noah, not even close. I don’t know why I’ve been so set on him. The way he’s acting tonight, I think he may have kissed Allegra. But I don’t care that much. Which isn’t a great sign, so I’m going to call it. End things tomorrow, I suppose.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby gave an almost imperceptible nod and the hint of a smile, as he took in the news. Bobby scooted closer, draping an arm around her shoulders. He kissed the side of her head and managed to get a mouthful of hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was much more romantic in my head,” he said as they both giggled. “Anyone in mind now that you’re almost single?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Moving in already Bobs? Can’t let me be single for five seconds?” She asked, letting out a laugh before seriously pondering the question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Biting her lip, she tried to formulate a response that wouldn’t hurt Bobby’s feeling too much. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I adore him, but I can’t imagine a life with him. He’s fun, like a shiny dress you wear on New Year's Eve. He’s not someone who would help with the dishes, remember doctor’s appointments, be a reliable partner…. How do I tell him that?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>More than that, how do I tell him I can’t handle l can’t handle losing him? Letting people in was hard, losing them even harder. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Considering all of it, she answered as honestly as she felt capable. “I like you. A lot. But when I think of you and me. It doesn’t feel wrong, but it feels unrealistic. I don’t think we have much in common outside of the villa. I can’t see it working. And I know I barely know you, but I have, I just. I care about you a lot. I don’t want to lose you. I’m so tired of losing people.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached over and grabbed Bobby’s hand pulling it close to her. “I know I’ve mentioned my parents, but I haven’t talked about what happened. My dad had a lot of problems. Me too, but that’s another story. He...I hate talking about this. I hate that it happened.” Words struggled to form, gasps of breaths emerging between each.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to. If you want to, I’m here, but don’t feel like you have to tell me anything, lass.” He stroked her hair gently as tears formed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breaking down crying in Bobby’s arms for the second time in days, she felt comforted and drawn to him in a way that felt different. New and exciting but surreal. Trust. It was nice. To finally feel like she could trust someone. Maybe her instincts had been wrong about Bobby.  She was wrong about Noah. Why was she so certain coupling up with Bobby would be a disaster. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe I should take a chance? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nervously moved closer, meeting his gaze before shifting focus to his lips. He responded similarly and pulled her tentatively into his arms. With their lips almost touching, each seemed hesitant to close the gap- the anticipation overwhelming, as it lingered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess grabbed his face and drew his lips to hers, kissing him gently at first before it quickly grew in intensity. Their bodies followed as their arms wrapped around the other. One kiss turned into another and they entangled as she simply enjoyed the feeling of kissing Bobby and exploring each other. Jess pulled away, satisfied in a way she never felt only by kissing someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed him one last time on the cheek before looking back at him. “So, why did you end up on Love Island? Seriously. You owe me. I’m still mad at you and I demand real answers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiiiine.” He feigned annoyance, kissing the side of her head as she leaned further against him. Wrapping his arms around her, he spilled. “So, I want to open a bakery. And I kinda need funds. I’m hoping this will turn into the kind of publicity to make it happen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh. Are you planning to steal the money if you win?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would I tell you if I would?” He raised an eyebrow before his serious expression transformed into a smirk. “Nah, that’s not my style. And honestly, look at me? I’m lucky I made it on the show. If I can have a fun summer and end up able to raise some money I’ll consider it a win.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean you aren’t looking for love on Love Island.” She expressed mock shock and poked him in the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you say you would have to be daft to expect that? I’m not daft. But, it would be nice.” He lightly grazed her face with his hand, leaning forward to kiss her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea burst through the door, a slight surprise emerging on her face as they sprung quickly apart. “You gotta get down here. New islanders. Alert. We have new islanders.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, damn.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved away from Bobby, towards Chelsea to follow her downstairs. Looking back at Bobby, she offered him a wink. “Coming?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He followed with a nervous smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>New people. Why did it have to be new people?</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>New islanders. Wasn’t it too soon? Two had been dumped at the last recoupling, followed by Levi fleeing the villa. It didn’t seem fair that three new people were brought in so quickly to replace them. But it was a mistake to think things would be fair here.  New people, more drama, higher ratings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a game. Entertainment for the masses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jess, Chelsea, and Bobby reappeared at the party the music was more subdued and the new islanders were mingling in groups.  Scanning the crowd, there were two new guys and a girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guy chatting with Lottie and Allegra had a medium build with shoulder-length curly hair. From a distance, it looked copper. He had a considerable amount of scruff and a nice smile. If it wasn’t for his weird beads and excessively unbuttoned dress shirt, she might have considered him as an option. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Total hipster-douche vibes. Pass.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The other was shorter, tan with dark, exotic features. He had a tattoo on one arm and an interesting look about him. It was hard to assess if he was outgoing or shy, but he was certainly captivating. With a wide smile, he successfully got a roaring laugh out of Jake.  Jake’s approval meant this new arrival was probably a good egg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The new female islander was spectacular looking with dark curly hair, gorgeous tan skin, killer curves, and legs that went for miles. An absolute stunner, she would be competition for every girl. Noah and Priya both seemed fascinated listening to her, deeply mesmerized by the beautiful new girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Would anyone notice if I went to bed? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of having to socialize with new people was terrifying, but not wanting to be rude overrode her fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Avoiding Noah was easy as he seemed to be avoiding her as well. Glances from Bobby were harder to dodge, but delaying further conversation was ideal. She wanted to sleep on the new thing that happened between them, figure out if it was good or bad. She mingled a bit with the new group before making an excuse about a headache and hurrying to bed. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Waking up the next morning Jess felt confident, refreshed by her first good night of sleep in the villa. She was prepared to end things with Noah, befriend the new islanders, and slow things down with Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> Love Island, not friend-Island, but waiting on romance until the next recoupling felt right. Chelsea and Bobby’s relationship had gone cold, but she needed to confirm that with Chelsea.  As long as she was honest with Chelsea, she hoped they would be ok. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby wasn’t Levi, their relationship felt different, with less urgent desire, they could take their time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catching a quick glance at a snoring Noah, she stealthily moved away to start her day. The conversation between them needed to happen, but he had to be awake for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cuppa, toes in the water and the vista view had become her ideal morning routine. The peace never lasted, so she enjoyed the fleeting tranquillity while she could.  The villager to interrupt her peaceful morning this day was Chelsea. The blonde chirped an enthusiastic hello before exchanging typical morning pleasantries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they had run out of weather-related items to discuss, Chelsea asked the question of the day. “So, what’s up with you and Bobby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, that’s why she’s here. She knows I snogged her partner last night. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess cringed despite expecting the question. “I hope you don’t mind, I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on anything happening. We just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I mean, it’s been obvious for a while you two were into each other. Poor Bobby, he told me before the last recoupling he wanted to couple up with you. But knew it wouldn’t happen. So, I get it. I’m so excited for you both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what'll come of it, if anything. He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever dated. It’s an odd feeling. I never knew I could like someone like him. All of my exes are...well..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boring?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I would say traditional, responsible. I guess you’re right. Boring. Bobby is so extra, I can’t even explain it.” Jess sighed, wondering why the words eluded her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. He’s rocky road and Noah is vanilla.” Chelsea squealed, practically bouncing with excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess merely raised an eyebrow, waiting for Chelsea to elaborate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All your life, you’ve been eating vanilla ice cream. You liked vanilla ice cream, maybe even loved it at times. But it’s all you knew. Then one day, you try a taste of rocky road. There’s all these new flavours- chocolate, marshmallows, nuts. It’s crazy. You’re not a rocky road girl. But maybe you are.  Maybe you just thought you liked vanilla.” Chelsea smiled, looking pleased with her comparison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In truth, Chelsea’s metaphor was strangely accurate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me, how was your scoop of rocky road?” Chelsea asked with a cheeky wink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just had a kiss last night.” A bit of an understatement but not an outright lie. Not completely knowing why Jess felt the need to downplay. “I like him a lot. And there's definitely a spark.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But?” Chelsea gave her an eye raise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, I like him </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This is a strange environment and he’s so out there." She waved her hand wildly, before running them through her hair in exasperation. "I think he’s funny and cute, but what if I find him annoying out of the villa? We don’t seem super compatible. I’m a serious person normally and he turns everything into a joke. Even if it's a defence mechanism, it’ll get old quick. And if things don’t work out romantically, I lose him as a friend which I can’t handle. Blah. Sorry. Enough about me. What’s up with you? Either of the new guys catch your eye?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“TBH, I’m kinda digging Rohan,” she said, breaking into a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which one was he? Sorry, I was a bit out of it last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s the super fit, dark-haired guy. Total dream. He’s promised to teach me handstands.” Chelsea’s face shifted, a dreamy faraway look taking control. </span>
</p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>Chelsea was adorable, swooning over the new fella in her life.</span>
  </em>
  
  <em>
    <span>It’s selfish, but I’m thrilled that it will make things easier for me and Bobby. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so great, Chels. Weird, but great. Good for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, babe. So, back to you. What’s up with you and Noah?” Chelsea asked, kicking her feet in the water, creating a ripple down the centre of the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess dramatically sighed, puffing up her lips and releasing a considerable amount of air. “I’m going to break things off today. I’m not totally sure what happened with Allegra, but I was madder at Bobby for his dumb plan to break us up than I was with Noah for kissing her. What does that say about us?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Makes sense, I’m confused about it all. I only heard little bits of it yesterday but Allegra doesn’t seem like his type. Are you sure anything happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, It’s too bad the new islanders couldn’t have seen what happened. I could use some clarity. I’d at least like to know who to be mad at.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they didn’t have much drama to spill. Did you know Bobby practices impressions when no one is looking?” Chelsea revealed with a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t, but that is a surprise to no one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s really something.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls chatted about the new islanders and Chelsea provided all the details Jess missed from the party. Talks with Chelsea had become one of her favourite parts of villa life, but like Bobby, Jess found herself wondering if she would find Chelsea as charming outside of the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Chelsea left to shower, Jess awaited the rest of the islanders. She was both dreading and anxious to have the conversation with Noah. Still unsure if she was making the right decision, she paced anxiously outside by the kitchen waiting for him to arrive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby appeared first, looking nervous but excited. His face lit up as he took her in, giving her a warm feeling all over. He didn’t seem to know how to approach her, which was appropriate as she felt the same. Each leaning forward, then stepping back awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are we together now? Or was last night a weird thing that happened? Is it possible to go back to being just friends after we’ve kissed? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do I owe it to Noah to tell him about Bobby? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, lass. Are you always the first one up?” He let out a nervous smile in contrast to his sparkling eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Usually. I’ve always been an early riser.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same, I have to get up crazy early for work. Good to know we’re both on the same schedule. Most girls I’ve dated like to sleep in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, are we dating now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby blushed harder than Jess thought possible. “I mean...we.” He adorably stumbled over his words, unsure of how to course correct.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved closer, his nervousness filled her with unusual confidence. Her hand grazed his shoulder, moving down his arm until she reached his hand. She grasped it firmly. “I like the sound of dating. Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yes. I do. A lot, actually.” Bobby recovered his ability to speak and leaned in to kiss her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shifted away. “I'm sorry, I need to officially end things with Noah first. I’m going to, I’m waiting for him to get down here. I need to be better. What happened last night with us, shouldn’t have. I mean, it was amazing and I’m excited for what happens from here, but it wasn’t ok for me to kiss you while I’m still technically with Noah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess interrupted, “don’t, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. I’m going to talk to him today. I’m hoping Noah and I will be able to be friends after this. I still think he’s a good guy, if not the right guy for me. Not that you are either. Maybe, I guess we’ll see,”  she stammered, waving her hands in the air as if to say ‘who knows’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to find out.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, affection showing the small touch and the intensity of his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so beautiful and sweet, what if I don’t care for him as much as I should? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m dreading this talk with Noah,” Jess whined, starkly changing the energy of the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate that sort of thing. Breaking up. It’s the worst. It’s why I’m still single. If you never date anyone, you never have to have the awkward breakup.” He pointed to his head as if he’d said something profound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed. "Smart. I promise to do it today. Sometime. Until then, these are off-limits for you,” she said, gesturing to her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. But they look so good.” He moved closer, his lips curled up into a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back. Five feet away. At all times,” Jess demanded, laughing at him as he moved closer. “By order of the court.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if it’s the law, I suppose I have to obey. For now. I am a bit of a rebel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You?” She cast a disbelieving look at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking around to see if anyone was around, he moved closer, whispering in her ear. “Believe it or not, I’ve been to jail.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stepping back, he attempted a dangerous smoulder, which looked more silly than sexy, eliciting a laugh from Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to know why,” Jess sternly demanded, hands on her hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I’ll tell you someday when those lips are within reach,” he teased with a smirk.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to hold you to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would expect nothing less.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Once the rest of the islanders made their way down, Jess wanted to prioritize getting to know the new girl. Noah could wait for now. All she knew from the previous night was that her name was Talia and her job had something to do with music. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Settling in a spot next to the new girl, she said a quick hello while Bobby clanked around the kitchen working on some sort of cooking project. He appeared to be in high spirits. Lottie was helping him make eggs for the group. They were a good team, but it irritated her that one of the other girls always got to be his cooking buddy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t have a right to be jealous about this. We aren’t even officially together. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Stuffing down her annoyance, she smiled at Bobby who returned it with a wink. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so cute.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah caught her eye and the direction of the smile and frowned. He approached her hesitantly. “Hey can we talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There goes my hope of breakfast and lady bonding….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course, let’s go.” Noah directed her over to a set of bean bags and she plopped down nervously. Every movement on the bean bags resulted in noise, something especially awkward during this conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t help but notice you and Bobby disappeared yesterday.” He jumped right to the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true. I’m sorry, I don’t think things are going to work out between us,” she said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>May as well rip off the bandaid. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of Bobby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, because of us. I don’t feel for you what I should. You deserve someone crazy about you, and I’m….well…. not.  And Allegra says you kissed her back yesterday. I don’t know if it’s true, but it feels like we should call it a day. We haven’t known each other that long, we should move on if things aren’t working out.” Looking him over, he seemed more annoyed than heartbroken, which was a relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you moving on with Bobby?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, I don’t know yet. But I don’t think we’re right together. I’ve been hearing a lot of stuff. Like you being annoyed we haven’t had sex yet, that you regret not picking Priya, and it feels like too much. Is that stuff true?”  Ignoring how uncomfortable the question made her, she wanted clarity. Knowing people at home had a better sense of what occurred was frustrating. It was like watching a movie and only seeing part of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned away and shrugged. “What does it matter? You don’t trust me anyway. So you’re cracking on with someone new?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we both should. I like you Noah, and I want us to still be friends.” Looking into his eyes, they were sharp and cold- nothing friendly in them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. It’s fine. We’re done. When you change your mind, I’m not going to be here waiting for you.” Noah walked away, kicking at the ground in a huff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a deep sigh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That could have gone better, but it’s done. We’re over. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As the morning went on, it became clear Noah was a master of the silent treatment, avoiding even a glance at Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was surreal how quickly things shifted between her and Noah. Only yesterday, she woke up thinking he might be the one. Now, it seemed silly. Why had she thought that? Today, Noah seemed as wrong for her as Gary and Kassam had last week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a small relief that her doubts about Noah proven correct by his reaction to the breakup. If he had been hurt, she may have second-guessed it but his irritation reaffirmed the decision. Noah may have been perfect on paper, but paper is fragile and easily destroyed. She needed a relationship with genuine stability, not superficial similarities. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia received a text just after they finished up breakfast, “It’s date day for the new islanders. You each get to choose three people to take for a date.” She paused momentarily. “That’s easy, I’m choosing Jake, Noah, and Jess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whoah. I didn’t know you could pick a girl. I don’t think it’s ever happened in any UK Love Island series. Amazing. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco, the hipster douche she had briefly met yesterday spouted a faux romantic spiel about auras and attraction before choosing Lottie, Jess, and Priya. Rohan confidently smiled as he chose Jess, Priya, and Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at Allegra, she appeared distressed by the decisions.  It brought Jess satisfaction knowing no one had chosen her, the only single girl, for a date. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I might feel sorry for her if she wasn’t so awful to everyone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, you’re popular this time around,” Lottie called out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know, now I know how you felt last time there were new guys.” Jess was surprised but grateful, it was the first completely friendly comment she had received from Lottie in days. Maybe the tides were turning? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I like Bobby, but I’m open to new people. Except for Rohan, Chelsea likes him and that’s enough for me. And Rocco seems....maybe I’m not open to new people…..at least not these ones.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone with dates left to swarm the dressing room, but Bobby pulled Jess aside. “We have to talk, it’s important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Following him up to the terrace, Jess was a pile of nerves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What could he need to talk about so badly? The talk with Noah? Or my dates? </span>
  </em>
  
  <em>
    <span>It’s kinda cute if he’s jealous. But hopefully not too jealous. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I have an idea. What if we create a word and trick the new islanders into using it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what you wanted to talk to me about? Not my new date or how things went with Noah, but pranks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I have a few ideas, what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love it, let’s hear what you got.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess it’s good he’s not jealous, but I wish he was a tiny bit curious. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They spitballed a few ideas before landing on succulent and Jess ran to finish getting ready while Bobby left to literally spread the new word. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Three dates in one day. Not as many as the second day in the villa, but still an overwhelming amount of socializing to prepare for. Talia was her first date. She was seated at the same table as last time, but now there were two other tables set up several feet away. An anxious-looking Rocco and Rohan sat, awaiting their first dates as Jess approached and took a seat next to Talia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The view was still incredible and Jess was able to appreciate it better in a situation with less pressure. “I’m surprised you picked me, we haven't gotten to chat much yet,” Jess exclaimed with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope she knows I mean a good surprise. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s exactly why I picked you. You intrigue me. I’d like to get to know you better.” Talia effortlessly poured a glass of wine, while maintaining intense eye contact with Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia had a kind, easy-going and confident energy Jess already enjoyed. She personified the word cool in every way that mattered.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like you probably already know me well if you’ve been watching the show. Tell me about you.” Jess looked over to see Rohan and Chelsea giggling at their table, her hand entwined with his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a music journalist, which I love. It’s a lot of hanging around backstage at concerts.…..but what I want to know is if I can turn your head. Or Noah’s? How are things with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, we broke up this morning. I’m single and ready to move on. To uh Bobby probably.  We recently connected and there’s definitely something there.” Jess blushed slightly remembering their kiss from last night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia’s eyes widened, looking concerned but unsurprised by the revelation. “I wouldn’t put all your eggs in Bobby’s basket. He’s nice but he’s nice to everyone. You know what they say, a friend to all, is a friend to none.” Talia paused before carefully continuing.  “I don’t want to talk shit about him but, maybe he’s playing things safe and becoming friends with everyone? I worry he might be using you to stay in the game. I can’t say for sure, but be careful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, ok thanks. I’ll keep that in mind,” Jess said as her face dropped in response to Talia’s words.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Can I not trust anyone here? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t take what I said too seriously though. I’m only seeing things through how it’s edited, what the producers are choosing to show. He might be genuine, I don’t know. But you might not know either.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I must have looked absolutely miserable for her to jump into reassurance mode. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, let’s talk about you more. What’s your typical type?” Jess asked, eager to change the subject.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tall, dark, and handsome. I’m a classic romantic at heart.” Talia smiled, her eyes crinkled in a way that was both sexy and adorable.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going out with Jake and Noah, right? Good choices. They both are that in spades,” Jess replied. Selfishly, it would make her life easier if Noah moved on with Talia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sun, sea, and all these cute boys. What more could you want?” She grinned a wide and easy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sea?” Jess questioned teasingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pool, I guess but close enough.” She shrugged, twirling her hair around a finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pretty great here, you’re going to love it. So, are you into girls? Or is this a friend date thing? I’m cool either way, I was just curious.” Jess tried to sound casual but felt awkward asking the question that had been in the back of her mind throughout the date. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am, but I don’t usually date girls as often as guys. I don’t know if it’s something I’d pursue here. But maybe. I thought it would be fun to chat with you after your secret was revealed. I used to write smutty fanfic about my favourite bands back in the day. Maybe that’s something we could share?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her gaze lingered as Jess blushed at the implication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not something I’ve ever thought about but, maybe?” Jess answered, unsure of how to respond. Having never dated girls, this was an unfamiliar feeling. But she felt drawn to Talia. A flutter of excitement shot through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe there could be something there. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Next up was Rocco, who was the ultimate ‘deep hippy.’ He enthusiastically greeted her, “Jess, mon cherie. It’s so good to see you. You’re looking hot and spice and all things nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had beautiful green eyes and his Irish accent sent chills down her spine, mesmerizing her until he spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like your vibe. I know our auras are meant to align, can’t you feel it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He seemed nice enough if a bit daft with smooth lines she couldn't believe he thought anyone would buy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And why is he always talking about auras? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure about auras, but it’s nice to meet you. Tell me about yourself, you have a food truck right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco nodded with a wide smile. “Yep, Cocktails and Cronuts. I’ll have to make you a drink when we get back to the villa. I make a spectacular wheatgrass smoothie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds delicious.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, it doesn’t.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Where are you from? You’re Irish right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m from Belfast. But I’m always on the move. I only have one life, gotta make sure I see as much of this world as I can. You wouldn't catch me in one place for too long.” He gave a broad grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you going to be able to stay here all summer?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, with so many beautiful ladies, I’m sure I’ll manage.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smooth.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gag</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me all over.” He smouldered, looking sleazy rather than seductive. Bobby's goofy smoulder was looking better in comparison.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Jess eyed the hair emerging from his barely buttoned shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smooth where it counts,” he corrected with a wink. “This place gives me the best vibes. I feel like I’m on the threshold of something amazing here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone catching your eye?” Jess asked, hoping not to be the sole recipient of Rocco’s romantic desires.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a free spirit, I’m not ready for any big decisions yet. Love is like a beautiful flower we water with our emotions. It should make poetry even if you don’t know how.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That was an impressive attempt at dodging the question. I'm letting it slide for my own sanity. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Finishing her last sip of wine, she poured herself another glass. “Tell me about your favourite place you’ve travelled to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bingo. That’ll get him going.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess zoned out as he droned on about a trip he had taken recently to Croatia. She smiled and laughed at the appropriate times while counting the seconds until the date was over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was nice, but a lot to take in. Strangely, he reminded her of Kassam. Rocco was more hippie to Kassam’s hipster, but they were two sides of the ‘try-hard’ coin. Her eye drifted over to Talia’s table where she and Noah seemed to be hitting it off. Noah seemed chattier than usual, which meant he was having a great time or at least wanted Jess to think so. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Crap. He saw me watching. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess smiled at him. He frowned and looked away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hate that it’s like this now for us.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan was the last date of the day. Jess wanted to be nice, but not nice enough for him to prefer her to Chelsea. His smile was huge as she moved over to his table. After an enthusiastic greeting, they sat down together, with Jess immediately feeling at ease with him. He was warm and energetic, fun but grounded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five minutes into the conversation, she was thrilled to realize he was as romantically interested in her as she was him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea’s into me right?” he confidently asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Majorly” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes. Chelsea and Rohan sitting in a tree-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“She seems nice. I’m not set on her or anything,” he said, failing to temper her expectations. “It’s too early, I want to get to know everyone here. But I like Chelsea.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea is the best, you’re gonna love her. Buuuut I have a question for you. She mentioned something yesterday about teaching her handstands. What’s up with that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes lit up at the question. “Well, I know it sounds silly, but my dream is to someday join a circus, so it’s one of the many fun skills I’ve picked up.” His passion was obvious from his tone as he responded to her question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so neat, can you teach me too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to.” A smile of delight spread across his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan and Jess bonded quickly as they talked about everything from school to their past relationships. He spoke in considerably more detail than Jess felt comfortable reciprocating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan opened up and told a heartbreaking tale of his tattoo. “I was literally at the tattoo parlour when she butt-dialled me. It was horrible, finding out she was cheating on me that way. I left it open, I like to think I’ll someday meet the right person to fill it in.” He gestured to the horseshoe and star tattoo with an open banner space, intended for his ex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a scary amount of pressure to put on a girl.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I like to believe that person is out there. I’d rather be upfront about it. It’s the kind of guy I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you’ll find that person here, I’m rooting for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I like you, Jess. You’re pretty cool, I think we click. I get a vibe from you I haven’t from anyone else. We’re definitely going to be friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. Would you say, when Jess calls for aid, Rohan will answer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been sitting on that one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since last night. I’ve been holding it in. It’s nice to have friends here, not everything is about grafting and cracking on.” She poured them both another glass of wine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but there’s a bit of that around. I thought you and Levi seemed nice together, I was bummed when he left. People were rooting for you,” he said, not noticing how her face dropped in response.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan continued to prattle on, but her mind was elsewhere. Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> she given up on Levi so quickly? They clicked physically, had nice chemistry, maybe it could have gone somewhere? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Have I been overthinking it all? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I making the same mistake with Noah? Why can’t I let myself be happy? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She tried forcing herself back into conversation with Rohan but remained stuck in her head the rest of the date. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Returning to the villa, Jess was in a tailspin. Wondering if she could trust Bobby or if she was making another mistake?  Had she given up on Noah too quickly? Or Levi? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was it so hard to know what the right choice was? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess heard it while coming up the stairs. She knew what it was and continued, walking into the bedroom to see Bobby and Priya singing together. It was a rap song Jess wasn’t familiar with but they seemed to know well. They were happy, relaxed, and completely oblivious to her presence. Turning around, she fled to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carbs would help sort this out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Talia’s right about him? He did say he needed money. And he’s friends with everyone. But why would he reveal his plan if there was any truth to it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess found herself in the kitchen digging through the fridge, so focused on finding a snack she didn’t notice Jake approaching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I make you something?” he offered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A toastie would be pretty phenomenal right now,” she hinted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can manage that,” he said as he pulled a loaf of bread off the shelf. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was your date?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, how was yours? All three of them.” He continued his toastie prep, spreading mayo on one side of a slice. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mayo? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring Jake’s toastie abomination, she answered, “You know, wine, snacks, nice view, nice person. It was good but I want to hear about yours. What do you think of Talia?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like her, she’s interesting. I could maybe see  something happening there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, that’s great, she seemed cool. I hope you two hit it off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, I’d like to get something going around here. It’s hard for me to make connections, but I’m trying.” Jake’s voice was low, with a tinge of frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things hadn’t worked out with Chelsea or Priya, but maybe Talia was right for him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a good guy Jake, probably the best here. You deserve someone amazing, I hope you find her. Or him,” Jess added, remembering Jake was bisexual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Jake said while pulling the completed toastie out and placing it on a plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the snack, wanna split it?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure about dinner, so yes. Yes, I do,” he chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with dinner?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, you missed the news earlier. The newbies are in charge of making dinner. I don’t know what to expect.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fun.” Jess took a bite of the toastie. “Wow, Jake that’s incredible. The best toastie I’ve ever had.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I know my way around the kitchen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s incredible, you should consider selling these. You could make a career out of these toasties. Start some kind of toastie store?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll think about it, but I don’t know if it’s for me.” Jake smiled widely, at least pretending to enjoy her stab at humour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jess, looking spicier than sriracha today.” Bobby approached from behind, fluffing her hair before settling in beside her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Bobby, not looking too bad yourself.” She grabbed his hand underneath the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I try,” he said, squeezing her hand in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I borrow her for a bit?” Bobby directed to Jake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First you have to try this, Bobby.” Jess held out her half of the toastie to him. Bobby took a bite from her hand, “Best toastie ever right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good, but wait till you try mine,” Bobby said with a cheeky smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have to have a toastie challenge,” Jake suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if I can judge,” Jess called out before hurriedly finishing her toastie. “Ok, I’m done, let’s go, babe.”  Pulling Bobby by his hand out of the chair, she turned back towards Jake before making an exit. “Catch you later, thanks for the toastie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They headed up the terrace and Bobby gently moved her against the wall, edging closer. “I believe I was promised a snog after you dumped the librarian.” He began to close the gap between them, gauging her reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe I was promised a secret.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, but lips first, then I’ll spill some of my secrets.” Bobby gazed towards hers, Jess was unable to hide a smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed her forehead, her cheek, then her nose, teasing her before finally pressing his lips against hers for a short gentle kiss, lips barely touching. She melted with every small touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby pulled away. “Public Urination. It was a couple of years ago outside a pub.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smiled wide and kissed him again, grasping his locs with her hand as he pushed her further against the wall. His warm skin against hers fueled her desire, furthered by his ability to hold back. She wanted him to touch her everywhere, but as he kissed her passionately, he kept his hands in frustratingly appropriate places. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, but knowing it was for the best, she broke away from him and moved to sit on the bench. “I’ve missed you. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to catch up with you. You’ve been pretty busy today with </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>your dates. I feel like I’ve barely seen you.” He sat down next to her, legs almost touching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, you did see me, but wanted to talk about pranks. Instead of my breakup with Noah. Or my dates? Or anything actually important.” Jess took a breath, trying to push down her irritation with Bobby’s disinterest. Plastering on a smile, she continued. “Speaking of, how’s succulent going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This shouldn’t bother me, right? I guess it’s good he’s not jealous. But I want him to care about me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, I think we got Rocco and Rohan. Talia isn’t going for it though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not surprised, she’s way too smart for your shenanigans.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How were your dates? Not that I’m jealous or anything.” His face showed a glimmer of concern he couldn’t entirely hide. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ahh. That face. He is jealous. It was a strange relief. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Oh, not even a little bit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m not the jealous type.” Studying his expression, his smile seemed a little forced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? I don’t believe you.” Jess shifted closer, kissing him quickly on the lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I that transparent?” he asked with mock incredulousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes. Other times I’m not too sure about you,” she honestly answered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m an open book. Sometimes. Today I will be. Ask away, lass.”  He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head gently as they settled back on the bench together.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I want to know how you feel about Chelsea and Priya and Lottie? You seem pretty close to all of them. Should I be worried?” Trying not to show how concerned she was, she gave a forced half-smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the only one here I fancy, I promise. I’m not going anywhere.” He reached her hand, entwining their fingers.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to not let myself worry about this. Trust Bobby. Trust in my judgment. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you.” Jess pulled him in for a hug. He kissed her forehead, leaving her content and reassured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> things go with Noah?” he asked, finally broaching the awkward topic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. As fine as it could have gone at least. We’re done, he’s annoyed with me. You may want to steer clear of him for a few days. I don’t think he’s your biggest fan at the moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The feeling is mutual.” He grinned, reaching over to kiss her, drawing his finger down her chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled away and his smile faded, replaced with a look of confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I think we should slow down a bit until we can couple up officially. Things are tense with Noah, and I don’t want to create any more drama. I know it’s silly, we literally just kissed, I’m not even saying we can’t kiss. I just don’t want to rush things.” She nervously looked up at him, unsure of what to expect. Was she making excuses to delay committing to someone she wasn’t sure of? Did he know it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face showed nothing but sincere affection, making her feel safe. Her body relaxed, all concerns seemed insignificant in light of his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t be sorry. I’m cool with that but I hope it’s soon. I can’t wait to snog you all the time.” He paused a moment, looking at her like she was everything to him. “I like you a lot. I still can’t believe you like me too.”  Softly, he caressed her face with his hand. “You’re so beautiful and sweet. I feel, well I feel pretty lucky to be here with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same. I can’t pretend I’m not worried about you and me, but I like you a lot, I’m willing to see where things go.” Wanting to be honest, she avoided any overly romantic sentiments. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if things don’t work out? What if he likes me more than I like him? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all I want." He drew her hand to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckle. "Well, maybe not all, but it’s enough for now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose we should join the others, see where the rest of the night leads.” She stood up and held out her hands to assist him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m with you,” Bobby smiled happily and they walked down the stairs together to find the rest of the islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt relaxed, she may not be coupled up with him, but she had a good feeling about their villa future. Bobby was someone she could have some fun with. And Love Island should be fun. Maybe there could be love too? But she would settle for fun.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a surprisingly great dinner crafted by the new islanders, Jess was sent to the beach hut to monologue her feelings about Noah and Bobby, Levi, the new arrivals...It was exhausting. Jess never felt comfortable sharing details with the camera and usually cheerfully answered the questions without delving too deep. Once they got enough soundbites she was set free, released back into the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wandering back, she noticed Chelsea sitting alone at the firepit, staring deeply into the flame.  Jess approached, sitting a few feet away before finally speaking. “Hey”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy crap, what the hell Jess, you scared me.” Chelsea gasped before letting out a small giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I was worried, I’ve never seen you look so serious,” Jess said as she scrutinized Chelsea’s face for signs of melancholy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? Oh, I’m good. Just zoned out, I guess. What are you up to?” she asked, an orange cast from the fire appearing on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been off spilling my guts.” Jess nodded towards the direction of the beach hut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross. But I love it there. It’s fun to let everything out. Better out than in as Gary’s nan would say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True. It’s my least favourite part of being here. I’m always nervous, it’s hard to open up to a camera. I feel like I sound fake like I’m talking in a higher pitch for someone at work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that, it is pretty weird. Like everything here. What even is this place?” She laughed, gesturing at the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was certainly a unique way to live. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you mind if I ask you something a little weird?” Jess shuffled in her seat, unable to figure out where to place her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not, bring on all the weird questions!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think about me and Levi? How things ended and everything?” Jess nervously asked, her eyes drawn to the flames. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I’m not surprised he left. The other night when you asked me to check on him, he seemed pretty upset. I think he really liked you. But Jess, once a cheater, always a cheater.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true, I don’t know if I ever could have trusted him again. If we coupled up, I’d always be worried I’d catch him snogging someone else on the terrace. But I want to believe people can be better. If there’s no hope for him, is there any for me?” She felt small and silly for asking, for needing reassurance but she needed someone to tell her she could be fixed. She wasn’t completely broken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl, what you and Levi did wasn’t the same. He led both of you on. Besides, all you can do is hash-tag move on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I..what about Noah? Objective opinion. Did I screw things up with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea took a deep breath, “I don’t think you two vibe. He seems a little dull for you. And I dunno about him and Allegra. It’s all weird to me. But do you want to be with Noah? Or do you think you should be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose it’s the latter,” Jess admitted, biting her lower lip and considering her feelings for him. There had been a connection there, but maybe it was friendship with a helping of sexual chemistry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s your answer then. You wasted a week of your life on them. No biggie,” Chelsea pointed out casually as if the situation was unimportant. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s right. This doesn’t matter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How has it only been a week?” Jess let out a laugh, her mood instantly brightening. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is the dumbest drama. She’s right. Moving on because it didn't work doesn’t make me a failure. And if it doesn’t work out with Bobby, that’s fine too. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea, it’s crazy, right?” Chelsea agreed. “Feels like I’ve known you for weeks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the honesty, I needed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If there’s one thing I am, it's honest. And gassy. Not usually. But right now. Ooof. I’m honest and I got your back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled her in for a warm hug. “Thanks”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh” Chelsea groaned mid hug. “I’m so full of falafels, it hurts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rocco does make a mean falafel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea’s friendship was like having a warm blanket made entirely of sunshine. Jess felt restored by her words and joyful presence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made her feel like she could handle whatever was thrown at her next.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Under all there was a great joy: a fountain of mirth enough to set a kingdom laughing, were it to gush forth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Since ending things with Noah, Jess had begun sleeping on the daybeds. Her back ached, but it was worth avoiding an increasingly temperamental Noah. It had been two awkward days of snide comments and cold looks. She was exhausted from walking on eggshells around him. The previous day, they had a tent building competition, and his inability to communicate put them in last place with a pile of scattered poles across the lawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe today there would be a recoupling? Five days had passed since the previous one, how much longer would they be trapped in their failed relationship? Jess was losing patience, beginning to match Noah’s disdain with her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This morning, Jess began with a cuppa, yoga, and a breakfast of fried eggs and toast before settling in by the pool. She came to Love Island to escape the routine but found herself acting out a new schedule in a prettier location. Soon there would be some sort of activity. A group game or dates. Catering would bring in lunch. Workout at the gym or go for a swim. Dinner. Beach hut interview sessions. After that, they were provided with the highlight of the day- one alcoholic beverage. If there was a party, there were allowed more, but usually were stuck with a one-drink limit. Go to bed and repeat. It’s a wonder they haven’t all gone stir-crazy, trapped in this beautiful posh prison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was someone who loved silence, but here there was nothing but, so her overthinking mind went into overdrive. All she could do was think. Think about her mistakes, what she wanted in life, her deepest desires. It had become too much, she needed a mindless break- a puzzle, a bike ride, a dumb tv show to watch, anything before a meltdown occurred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby had become a beacon of joy, a safe place that she retreated to, replenishing her happiness levels, keeping her sane. When he saw her looking too introspective, he went into clown mode. His ultimate task- making her laugh until she couldn’t remember what she was worried about. When he saw she was bored, he raised his eyebrows, pointing to an isolated spot they could sneak away to for a quick kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice, he was nice, never pressuring or pushing to go further than she wanted or made her feel inadequate for not wanting more.  After Noah, Bobby was a breath of fresh air. They weren’t hiding their relationship from the group, as much as not advertising it. Taking things slowly. Sometimes they would sneak away just to hold hands or talk about the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Levi, she felt guilt. With Noah, pressure. Bobby just made her happy. It was easy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dozing by the pool, she was interrupted by a splash. Bobby had cannonballed into the water spraying water across her chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh. I’m going to get you for that.” She laughed, following him into the pool. Villa boredom opened up her impulsive side. For the first time in her life, she found herself doing, instead of overanalyzing and falling into choice paralysis. At least in small ways. It was a start. A month ago, Jess would have never just jumped into a pool without a plan. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How long would she swim? Had she eaten recently? Where's a towel?  </span>
  </em>
  <span>None of that seemed to matter here. She wasn't sure if it was the villa, Bobby's influence, or changes happening within her, but she was starting to like the new her. Following impulses (other than fucking coupled-up water polo players) seemed to suit her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swam towards the other side, but Jess was faster, launching herself onto his back and covering him with water.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Challenge time, people,” Gary called out, throwing a giant beach ball at them, hitting Bobby in the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did you even find that?” Jess threw it back at him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The shed, there’s more too...next free day we have to to get everything out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Bobby reluctantly got out of the pool and dried off before heading to the challenge stage. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The banner of the day: Coming Clean. Two slides leading into paddling pools, one filled with mud and the other with soapy water and sponges.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no, my hair. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary read out the challenge rules. “In front of you are a pile of envelopes containing secrets. If you choose to read a secret, you’ll have to slide into the mud. If you resist temptation you’ll be washed clean by the person whose secret remains inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, my hair,” Chelsea called out, delicately brushing her hand through her blonde curls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You read my mind.” Jess took a closer look at the thick mud, taking in the texture and smell.</span>
  <em>
    <span> On second thought, It’s not too bad, people pay good money at a spa for this sort of treatment. Maybe it's worth learning a few secrets. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it sounds succulent,” Rocco confidently asserted, looking to Bobby for approval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wrong. No. Mud isn’t succulent.” Bobby shook his head dismissively, stifling a giggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess noticed an envelope labelled Bobby on top and quickly ripped it open. “I’m going first.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing holding you back, is there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to know what I’m getting into,” she said, sending a wink his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How Scottish Is Bobby? So Scottish that he ran away from home when he was fourteen to try to find the Lochness Monster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bobby.” Jess laughed as the rest joined in. “Fourteen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That does feel late. When did you figure it out?” Lottie asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t talk about her like she isn’t real. You’ll hurt her feelings.” Bobby pouted dramatically before turning to Jess. “You know what that means?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes.” Jess eagerly climbed the steps and zoomed down the slide, a loud “wheeeee” the entire way before plopping into the warm mud. “Can I go again and not read a secret. I want this muck off me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry lass, gotta wait till everyone's had a turn,” Bobby said, teasingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scraping the mud off by hand, she realized a better idea and ran at Bobby to hug him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhhh.” He tried to run but couldn’t avoid her muddy arms. “Slather me up, babes,” he said, giving in to her embrace. “I like that word Ssslather.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both broke down laughing before Jess caught a glance of Noah glowering at her. Jess shot him a smile, which furthered his look of animosity. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm beyond tired of him acting like a wronged child. Move on, buddy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“My turn,” Chelsea called out, ripping into Priya’s secret. “It should surprise no one that Priya used to be a model. But did you know she was once engaged to her manager? Right until the day she left him at the altar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We're going to need details on that one, babes,” Allegra directed towards Priya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re being melodramatic, we weren’t really engaged. We rather impulsively decided to get married. I came to my senses and called it off. It would have been a huge mistake for both of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Chelsea's turn in the mud, Bobby read Jake's secret revealing that he had worked as a nude model for art classes to pay for culinary school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I would have given to be in that class.” Talia looked Jake over like a sumptuous meal she couldn’t wait to bite into as he blushed furiously at her gaze.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie chose not to read Noah’s secret, and neither had any interest in a sexy cleansing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan told the group about  Allegra’s secret past as a cheerleader, while Jake read Chelsea’s secret; She accidentally flashed her future boss at a job interview. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not knowing what the prize would be, most of the islanders chose to reveal secrets and take their chances with the mud. Only Lottie was refusing to participate, choosing the soapy pool every time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything I need to know, I’ll trust the spirits to tell me themselves. The leaves told me to play things safe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a relief that the secrets were fun, embarrassing moments of days past and not anything that threatened the stability of the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only potentially damaging revelation came when Jess read a card with Lotties’ secret. “Lottie claims to be all about girl code, but sister code is another story. She slept with her sister's boyfriend and didn’t come clean until her sis walked in on them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s face turned red, shame and embarrassment radiated off her. Silence filled the air as if there were so many comments about how hypocritical Lottie was, no one could choose just one. Instead, the silence lingered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary wrapped an arm around Lottie, who looked like a wounded animal.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Nothing I can say to her is as bad as how she’s feeling. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The best thing we can do is move on</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, Allegra gathered her thoughts and began chastising her. “Well, What a surprise, Miss Girl-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously Allegra, just shove it. Let’s keep playing the game, you don’t get to give Lottie crap like this, you’re no better,” Jess snapped at her. “Who hasn’t gone yet? Gary, your turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Gary went to get an envelope, Jess caught Lottie watching her. Jess smiled lightly and Lottie reciprocated before mouthing 'thank you'.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary pulled out his own secret, shuffling it back into the stack, instead choosing one with Talia’s name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talia’s a huge music fan, but she doesn’t just write about musicians for work. In her free time, she runs a One Direction fansite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mood lightened once again as Talia's fangirl side was mocked and Gary took a turn in the mud. Noah read Rocco’s secret which involved using his own urine as a massage aid with an ex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Rocco? Yuck.” Chelsea cringed, squishing her face to almost nothing in disgust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t knock it,” Lottie interjected. “I had an ex who swore by it for allergies.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, Lottie gets it. Just remember, always check your PH levels first.” Rocco ignored the disgusted looks as he launched into a lecture on alkaline levels and the benefits of urine therapy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess went next, choosing not to read Chelsea’s secret and instead of sliding into the pool, demanding that Chelsea wash away any thoughts of Rocco’s urine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah revealed Rohan’s tragic secret of being cheated on by every previous girlfriend. His eyes darted to the ground, looking embarrassed by his past failed romances. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Rohan, He shouldn't be embarrassed, they failed him, he deserves better. I hope he finds real lasting love here. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Interestingly, no one has read any of my secrets yet. I wonder what they found. Did they talk to Paul? Someone from work? I’m pretty boring, I don’t even know what they could have on me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jess dwelled on what her possible secret would be, she was caught off guard by the realization that Bobby had an envelope with her name on it. He was smiling, asking without words what she wanted him to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded in approval.</span>
  <em>
    <span> No secrets. I don’t want to keep secrets from him. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby grinned wider, opening the envelope before a look of hesitation emerged on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Read it, read it,” Chelsea yelled out before Bobby cautiously spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess is popular with the viewers at home, but not with the people in her life. We looked everywhere but weren’t able to find anyone to spill some tea on this girl. Congrats Jess, your secrets are all safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ooof. That hurts. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood standing but felt her body relax as if slumped to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No friends. No family. No boyfriend. No one hates me, loves me, or feels anything about me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby walked past, pausing to put a hand comfortably on her shoulder. His eyes now seeking reassurance that she was alright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head, and he gave her a quick hug before taking his turn down the slide, which had become less thick with the addition of water from islanders moving from one tub to the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soapy tub had lost a lot of its cleansing qualities by now.  Compromised by the amount of mud introduced by the dirty islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya grabbed an envelope labelled ‘Gary’. “It’s no secret that Gary talks about his Nan a lot, but has he told you about the time he was interrupted during sex by her offering tea and biscuits?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter spread from the group, everyone enjoying the return to a light-hearted secret. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s phone went off signalling the end of the game. “Lottie, as the islander who resisted the temptations of secrets, you win a special prize. A night in the hideaway. You can invite your partner, or enjoy a peaceful night's sleep by yourself. The rest of you dirty islanders, we’re going to have to hose you all down.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked cool as a cucumber as she spoke. “I guess I would be up for a night alone with Gary. Just don’t expect anything.” She pointed a finger at Gary, the hint of a smile forming on her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't dare.” Gary smiled, looking chuffed at the thought of a night alone with Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess headed over with the rest of the group to shower off the muck when Rocco pulled her aside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jess, fancy a chat?” He gestured towards the firepit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should probably get cleaned up first.” Her eyes darted around, thinking of any way to escape a private conversation with Rocco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There's already a line forming, may as well wait here with me. Besides, the mud is great for your skin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, Rocco,'' Jess reluctantly replied, following him to the isolated firepit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they stood near the flames it was as if a flip was switched and he turned on the charm setting. His lips shifted into a seductive pout, his eyes deep and yearning.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no, Rocco. Please don’t graft. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just-,” he began.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does your tattoo mean?” She interrupted, "I’ve been wondering.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got this done in Tibet a few years back. It's the Chinese symbol for adventure. Which is my mantra. Life is one big adventure, I want to discover it all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't know what it means, but it’s probably not adventure…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to see where your heads at, I feel a primal connection between us. There’s an intense depth to you, something real and genuine. Your aura calls to me. It’s normally red, but when you look at me, it shifts to pink.” He moved his hand towards Jess, and she recoiled from his touch.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Rocco, I don’t think we vibe. I’m not interested.” Jess surprised herself with her honesty. She could have used Bobby as an excuse, or not being over Noah, instead, she was straightforward with Rocco about her lack of feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that what they call growth? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No worries, I’m sure the universe will provide me with my perfect match soon.” He smiled wide, not looking disappointed in her rejection as he wandered back to the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not sure anyone here vibes with his particular energy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After showering away the muddy filth, Jess retreated to the terrace to enjoy an afternoon cup of tea. Instead of solitude, she found Bobby and Priya deep in conversation. Priya said something and Bobby responded with a booming laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her chest tightened as she watched them, that familiar queasy feeling returned. Jealousy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were sitting a reasonable distance, but with an intimacy that made Jess uncomfortable. As she stood at the entrance to the terrace gobsmacked, a million thoughts ran through her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Men and women can be friends. This doesn't have to be weird. But why does it feel so weird? Why am I so intimidated by Priya? Say something. Don’t just stand there with your mouth gaping like an idiot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Back up, if you can’t say something just leave.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess backed up slowly, bumping into the doorway drawing their attention to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hey..uh. What’s up,” she stammered, feeling as dumb as she must have looked for trying to run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Assessing Bobby, he didn’t look guilty or concerned. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it’s nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stood with a twinkle in his eye and walked towards her with a raised eyebrow. “You ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, just didn’t want to interrupt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could never. Come join us, we’re chatting about the new guy.” Priya motioned for Jess to sit with them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess walked towards them making eye contact with Priya whose expression was friendly, her eyes bright and smile wide. Things had been weird with them since their scheme to break her and Noah up and Priya was now behaving as if they hadn’t had any sort of conflict. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this how we're handling it? Pretending like nothing happened? Maybe it’s for the best.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which one?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. 'I’m so smooth'.” Priya smouldered dramatically imitating Rocco. “I just dodged him, he has the cheesiest moves. Apparently, my aura is purple and we’re drawn to each other like magnets. I had to make an excuse to get away before I broke down laughing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That guy. He grafted on me earlier with bullshit about my aura being pink.” Jess scrunched up her face, remembering their interaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t say I blame him, you do look good in pink,” Bobby interjected</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When have you ever seen me in pink, Bobby?” Jess giggled, thinking about how muted her colour scheme was. She hadn’t worn pink in years, not since high school. It was never her colour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to see it to know you’d look good in it.” He winked, eliciting a full laugh from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe someday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing voices approach, Jess turned to the entrance to see Chelsea and Lottie entering the terrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, get out of here. It’s girl talk time.” Chelsea shooed him away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could stand in for Allegra. Or go get her if you want,” Bobby said as Chelsea began pushing him towards the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare,” Lottie warned with a smirk. “Leave now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiinnne,” he whined, winking at Jess before heading down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bossy Lottie is kinda sexy,” Jess said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Lottie responded, with a confident smile that confirmed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I had that kind of confidence, Lottie knows she's sexy. She's not embarrassed to admit it or worried about sounding egotistical. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do we need to chat about without the guys?” Priya asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So much.” Chelsea gestured emphatically.  “There has to be a recoupling soon. It’s been too long since the last one. We have to figure it all out. If any of you pick Rohan, I’m going to be furious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chill out Chelsea, nobody would do that to you. Besides, we chose last time, it’s bound to be boy’s choice this time around,” Jess explained trying to avoid an escalation of drama. “The only problem I see is that no one wants to get stuck with Rocco. Maybe we should grab Allegra, see where her heads at.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with Rocco? He seems cool, we were chatting earlier, he seems nice enough.” Lottie shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to couple up with him?” Jess asked, with a raised eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not the guy for me either,” Priya quickly followed up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or me,” Chelsea added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls turned to Jess looking for confirmation. “Same,” she agreed. “That just leaves Allegra. I think she might be a tad too intense for Rocco. He’s the definition of chill and she's so tightly wound she may as well be a ball of yarn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More like, she has a bug up her butt the size of an emu,” Lottie corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya sighed, looking prepared to be the Mom of the group. “You both need to make peace with her. I know she’s difficult, but we’ve all made mistakes here. For me, please, give her another chance. Priya’s lecture was unappreciated, Allegra had been nothing but a bitch to Jess. She had no interest in making friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, Priya? I’m barely getting along with this one,” Lottie said, gesturing to Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Offense taken. But I get it.” Jess shrugged. “I don’t know why it’s up to me to make things right with her. She literally kissed my partner. Remember that whole thing?” Glaring at Priya, her expression was blank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya exhaled slowly before turning to address her. “Jess, I’m sorry about the scheme to test Noah. We shouldn’t have done it, and I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. I’m sorry I picked Noah, I know you liked him.” She stood up straight, feeling better for attempting amends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. Friends?” Priya tilted her head, holding her arms out, waiting for Jess to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friends.” Jess reciprocated Priya’s motions and pulled her in for a warm hug. Her heart felt lighter having let go of the burden of bitterness towards Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea squealed with joy. “Awwww, that's so sweet. We’re all friends again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s expression grew serious as she shifted her gaze between Lottie and Jess.  “Now, can you both try that with Allegra? I know she grates, she’s horrible in a lot of ways, but she’s not a terrible person. Give her another chance. Please? For me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Priya, her pleading eyes warmed Jess’ cold heart. “I’ll try talking to her, but no guarantees.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all I’m asking,” Priya smiled. “What about you Lottie? You were friends not that long ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. Fine. I’ll try,” Lottie grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good chat girls. Let’s bring it in,” she said, pulling the girls in for a group hug. Lottie was stiff and turned a little pink, but after a moment relaxed into the hug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After dinner and an evening of beach hut sessions, Jess and Lottie spotted Allegra chatting with Rocco near the fire pit. They looked cosy, reassuring Jess that Rocco had found a suitable potential partner thus freeing the rest of the girls from the possibility of coupling up with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies, your chakra is giving me all sorts of good vibes,” Rocco called out, palming his hand through his soft curls and gazing at Lottie through his long lashes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Rocco, mind if we grab Allegra for a talk?” Jess asked, giving him a half-smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t want to risk him picking me, I need to tone down my charms.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra grinned at him as he headed for the kitchen, leaving the girls alone. The moment he was gone, her expression turned cold, aggressively staring down both Lottie and Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Allegra snapped. “Are you two pissy that I’m chatting with Rocco? Claiming him as well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course she would think that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we just wanted to talk about us.” Jess gestured to the three girls. “Things have been tense and we want to move forward as friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so you’ve been sneaking around behind my back, making plans.” Allegra’s nostrils flared, and her eyes looked distrustful and angry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like that,” Lottie stepped in. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore, I don't have the energy for it. Can we please just stop, drop the snarky comments-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You declared war here, babes. Not me. Both of you. I’ve been nothing but nice to you. If I’ve learned one thing in my life, it’s Cherchez la femme.” Allegra’s face contorted into a confident pout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that means what you think it does.” Jess looked to Lottie for confirmation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever.” Allegra rolled her eyes and crossed her arms defensively. “I don’t trust you or your half-assed attempt at reconciliation.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Patience….gone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you’re still here. We’ve lost Erikah, Kassam, Levi, and Rahim. And we’re stuck with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you?</span>
  </em>
  <span> The most awful person I’ve ever known. I don’t like you. No one likes you.” Jess ranted, knowing that trying to make peace with a viper had been a fruitless task. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so tired of her, this is pointless. She’s awful and terrible and I’m done.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seriously think anyone likes you either? You're a selfish and inconsiderate slut. At least I don’t pretend to be nice,” Allegra sniped back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess flinched at the words before brushing the accusations aside. “I can’t wait for you to get voted off, you know you’ll be the first to go if it’s down to the audience. Or us. You got lucky Rahim felt obligated to pick you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra continued to glare. “I don’t understand you. Why are you even here talking to me?  I’m just trying to be honest and open and constructive. You can’t handle the truth.” She tossed her hair dramatically, resting her hand on her hip smugly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie finally jumped into the fray, her sharp green eyes boring into Allegra. “Give it a rest, Allegra. Fine, you don’t want to make peace. Let’s just continue this pointless fight until you get voted off. That’s one thing Jess is right about.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra’s face flicked in frustration, she stuck out her tongue and walked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That could have gone better,” Jess acknowledged. “But fuck her. I’m done taking her jabs with good humour. Mistakes were made. Obviously and I’m sorry about it, but we all need to move on.” Jess paused looking back at Lottie. “I am sorry. About Levi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. But, that doesn’t make it ok. Allegra was right about you. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>selfish, only wanting to be nice and help others if it serves you. Or to make yourself feel better. Allegra and I both see through your act.” Lottie paused, piercing Jess with a cold look. “Maybe things will change, but now....I don’t like you or trust you either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Lottie left. The lawn had emptied, the islanders preparing for bed as Jess sat quietly stewing over Lottie and Allegra’s words. She felt kicked in the gut.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Even when I try to do the right thing, my motivations are fucked. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Staring into the flames, trying to lose herself, hoping for clarity. No friendship revelations came, but Jess arrived at a decision regarding Noah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t force Lottie, Noah, or Allegra to move on from their anger or resentment, but she could choose forgiveness for herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking past the daybed that destroyed her back the previous nights, she went upstairs. Putting on her pyjamas, washing her face, and brushing her teeth as usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, you missed it, recoupling tomorrow, boys' choice,” Chelsea yelled-  jumping up and down outside the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Relief. At least this will be the last night. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of returning to the daybed, she walked into the bedroom. Noah was already in their bed, she walked quickly over to make herself at home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Noah called out upon seeing her preparing to join him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is still my bed, I’m done letting you scare me away from it.” She flopped down, ignoring Noah’s glare.  “Good night Noah,” she said before the lights went out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no response, but she fell asleep relaxed and content. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The great storm is coming, but the tide has turned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Awkward. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The word that encompassed sharing a bed with Noah post-breakup. For the first time in days, Jess slept in her own bed, immediately regretting it as he hogged covers and intentionally splayed out. Even in sleep, Noah made it clear he didn’t want her there.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the course of a few days, he had gone from husband material to overgrown man-child. It only served to make things easier. Priya and Bobby had really done her a favour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, the previous night they received word from the ‘Love Island Powers That Be’ of a boy's choice recoupling the next evening. Waking up next to Noah, Jess let out a sigh of relief remembering that tomorrow Bobby would be beside her. It was an exciting change; she had never dated anyone like him before. While she had low expectations of it going the distance, she knew it would be a fun time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was another early morning being the first one awake. Listening to Noah’s intense snores, which now grated rather than soothed, she got out of bed. Time to greet another</span>
  <em>
    <span> perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> day in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While leaving, she bumped right into Gary. “Oof, sorry. Aren’t you supposed to be in the hideaway?” she asked, confused by his appearance. Gary and Lottie had been chosen to take advantage of the hideaway, something Lottie seemed particularly excited about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary looked embarrassed to be caught out. “Uh. Yeah. I was. Now, I’m not. I figured I’d get a workout in. Big recoupling day and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that. Feeling nervous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, Lottie and I are solid. But I guess anything could happen.” He shrugged, slight concern peeking through his blue eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight’s going to be great, I think we’re all going to be right where we need to be. And no one’s going home. That’s the best part.” This was the first recoupling Jess felt completely excited for. Bobby was choosing her and any doubts about him had been pushed out of her mind. For now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After her run-in with Gary, Jess took in the morning as usual before retreating to shower and prepare for the day. Walking past the changing room, she caught a glimpse of bright blue hair. Upon further investigation, Lottie’s once pink highlighted blonde hair was now a solid, deep royal blue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, holy crap, you look amazing,” Jess blurted out, as Lottie was in the midst of changing. Despite the tenuous state of their friendship, she couldn’t contain her reaction to the new look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jess.” Lottie’s reply was stilted, but there was a spark of a smile. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Progress, I’ll take it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Especially after the awkwardness of last night. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary entered, not taking notice of her half-dressed state, mouth agape as he focused on her blue hair. “Your hair, it’s different.” He seemed befuddled at the change in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I change my hair every week and a half. Get used to it,” Lottie casually replied, flipping her hair. “And get out of here.” Shoving Gary out of the door, she turned to Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like him, but he’s so vanilla sometimes.” She shrugged and went back to selecting swimwear for the day. “Who do you think’s picking you today? Noah’s been giving you the stink eye, I’m guessing it’s not him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t tell you?” Jess said nervously, exchanging a look with Lottie. “Uh Gary’s picking me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Lottie coldly but flatly replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kidding, kidding. I’m sorry, that wasn't funny.” Jess quickly shot out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What was I thinking? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relax, it’s fine,” Lottie said. “I know he’s not picking you. It probably sounds crazy, but I trust him. I just wish I had my cards to confirm it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great, It’s pretty obvious how into you he is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Lottie said, letting a full smile finally emerge. “You never answered my question though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping you were going to forget, but uh. I think Bobby’s going to pick me,” Jess nervously shared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby? Really? Interesting. I thought he liked Priya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ooof. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I don’t think so,” Jess said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or at least I hope not. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“We’ve been chatting a bit about it, I think we’ll be good together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I could maybe see it,” Lottie said, not sounding entirely convinced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we'll find out,” Jess chuckled, retreating to the shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not letting Lottie get in my head about this. Bobby likes me. Coupling up with him is the right decision. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But Priya…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning continued in a typical lacklustre fashion. Bobby found pool noodles and chased Gary around the villa while Noah, Jake, and Rohan worked out at the gym. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra moved a bean bag over to the gym area to enjoy the workout and tried to initiate a competition. The guys ignored her, focusing instead on their workout much to her irritation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess gravitated towards the pool. Feeling antsy, she jumped in. Swimming laps, she felt more focused and relaxed. Like she had purpose. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if that’s how Levi feels. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Getting towards the other side of the pool, made her feel like she accomplished something. A small task completed in an otherwise aimless existence in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woop, nice swimming,” Chelsea shouted. Momentarily distracted, Jess looked up to see  Lottie, Chelsea, and Priya sitting on the coping watching her. After a last lap, Jess exited the pool and sat beside Priya, swinging her feet into the water. Soaking wet, she leaned towards Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even think about it,” Priya sternly threatened, before letting loose a burst of laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake suddenly yelled out, “Text. I got a text. It’s challenge time, folks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Within minutes, the islanders settled in at the challenge platform. Chelsea and Bobby had hosting duties for the day’s challenge, entitled ‘Meet Your Match’ according to the giant banner. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always a giant banner. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea announced, “Ok everyone, you all took tests before arriving here and the computer has been working hard to calculate your perfect match. Each of the girls will take turns to label which of the boys is their most compatible and incompatible partner, placing a heart-eyed emoji on the most compatible and a sad face on the least compatible. The girl would then need to arrange the boys in the middle, and if she gets one boy in the right position, he'd need to step back. Every time the girl rejects the order in question, they'd get a mark and the one with the least mark would be declared the winner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea looked confused, silently reading the card again. “Everyone got it? I don’t know if I get it. Who’s going first?  Oh Jess girl, you’re up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who am I most compatible with?  It has to be Noah. Would Bobby’s feelings be hurt if I ranked him low? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nervously approaching the line of men, she placed the love heart emoji around Jake’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I have to say it, ladies?” He was a bit of a dark horse, but it was possible they were perfect on paper. Jake was an awfully nice looking piece of paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Least compatible was easier to place, it had to be Rocco. They didn’t have any semblance of compatibility or a spark. Surely the computer algorithm would agree. She grabbed the giant sad-faced emoji and placed it around his neck. “Sorry, babe. I don’t think our auras vibe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arranging the rest of the guys was more difficult. She went to grab Noah’s arm to move him into second place and he immediately tensed up at her touch. Letting go, she looked up at him. He averted his eyes, refusing to acknowledge her. Sighing, she said “Noah, can you move next to Jake?” He moved without answering. It was frustrating that their relationship had deteriorated to this kind of passive-aggressive hostility. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan felt like a nice safe call for third place. Gary or Bobby for fourth? Grabbing Bobby by the hand she moved him into the fourth spot, while Gary settled in at number five.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, Jess. You have two right. Rohan and Gary can move back,” Chelsea called out, after confirming with the board.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is going to be a long challenge….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Jess pulled the heart emoji from Jake’s neck and handed it to Noah. Jake took Noah’s spot in line, while Jess walked down the line towards Rocco and Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This sucks. I know it’s a dumb computer, but what if it’s right? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess removed the sad face emoji from Rocco and put it around a cheerful-looking Bobby. If he was bothered by his placement, he was hiding it well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it lass, doesn’t mean anything.” He said kissing her on the cheek before she pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice job, girl. You got it in two. That’s going to be hard for any of us to beat.” Chelsea cheered Jess on, not seeming to notice the dejected look on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doubts filled her head. So many worries about her decisions and instincts, she couldn't focus on just one. Jess was lost in thought the rest of the challenge, which did indeed last forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Chelsea seven times to get her lineup in the right order, with Noah at the top and Jake at the bottom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie surprised everyone by getting it in one, with some truly bizarre choices. Rocco was her most compatible while Bobby was least. Bobby was ranked last for most of the girls. Except for Chelsea and Priya, who ended up with Bobby as their third most compatible guy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wanted to hug her baker boy, but he didn’t seem affected by his low ranking. He was laughing loudly at something Rohan was saying and spent most of the game cracking jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why does it bother me more than him? Am I embarrassed that he’s undesirable? Like it reflects poorly on me for liking him? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra, Priya, Jess, and Chelsea all ended up with Noah in the top spot as their most compatible partner. Jess hoped the ego boost would serve to assuage his anger towards her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His antagonistic feelings now felt like a decaying corpse - beyond old, something toxic he needed to let go of.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After the challenge, Jess needed a break from the rest of the group. Climbing the steps to the terrace, she found herself in a familiar state of worry. What if the computer algorithm was right? Maybe she and Bobby didn’t have enough in common to work as a couple. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish there was a way to know for sure before we throw away our friendship for what could be a fleeting romance. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it would be better to keep things as status quo. I don’t want to risk losing him as a friend.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Plopping down on the bench, she let out a frustrated moan followed by a deep breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Time to bring back those anxiety-relieving breathing exercises. Breath in, breathe out...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Evening, lass. Lovely day, isn’t it?” Bobby's voice cut through, breaking her focus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?” Looking up at him the terrace entrance, he had a sparkle of enthusiasm in his eyes she lacked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought so, what’s wrong?” he asked, concern showing in his face as he settled in beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just...I know it sounds dumb, but I’m a little worried. About us. After that challenge. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aren’t you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She looked over at his relaxed, confident expression. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How is he so cool about this? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby laughed, “Honestly, no. It was a silly questionnaire, it doesn't mean anything. If it did, Noah would have to couple up with everyone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess that’s true.” She paused, searching his eyes for any hints of distress. “You’re seriously not worried at all about us? What if it doesn’t work out? What if we get together and one of us realizes it was a huge mistake? What if it’s a disaster? I don’t want to lose you. If things go south, it could happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby reached for her hand, entwining their fingers. “I promise, whatever happens, we’ll always be friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Bringing his hand to her lips she gently kissed it, feeling her concerns dissipate and replaced with eager anticipation. “So, we’re sharing a bed tonight. What should I expect? Cold feet? Cover hogger?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to be surprised?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe give me a hint.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Prepare to be starfished, baby.” He dramatically demonstrated spreading his limbs widely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t wait.” Beaming at him, she again felt safe and content as she relaxed against him, his arms wrapping around her. “What’s your favourite movie?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was quite the swerve, Shouldn’t we start with favourite colour and go from there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess hit him playfully on the shoulder, shifting away for a better look at him. “Answer. I want to get to know you better. And I think a favourite movie can tell a lot about a person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked lost in thought for a moment before answering, “Aladdin”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was it about Aladdin?” she asked, reaching for his hand and kissing the back gently as if to reassure him it was safe to confide in her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I related to him when I was younger. You know, insecure poor brown kid trying to survive. My parents divorced when I was pretty young, it was bad, we were always scraping to get by.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes were serious, something about them letting Jess know was only expressing a small part of how he really felt</span>
  <em>
    <span>. He’s so beautiful and caring, feeling so much without letting it out.  It hurts knowing he went through something awful. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Stroking his cheek, she felt closer to him. His pain was different than hers, but they shared a family trauma that still affected them deeply. Each with a wound doomed to never fully heal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m not. It made me the enigmatic stud I am today.” Bobby’s face shifted, his light returned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep telling yourself that babe.” Kissing him on his forehead, she leaned against him while he moved his arms around her once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you? favourite movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you’ve already guessed, but it’s Lord of the Rings. The first one, Fellowship of the Ring. But I love them all.  My parents were into Tolkien, so I grew up reading the Hobbit and then the rest of the books. They used to have all-day movie marathons. Extended version of course. Even when I was younger, they would let me watch the first one. Eventually, I started sneaking down to watch the others from the stairs. Finally, they gave up and let me sit between them and watch. It’s not the same, but watching it always brings me back to how I felt back then. Surrounded by their love. It reminds me of them and that the world is much bigger than me, but I can still make a difference in it. I know its cheesy-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not cheesy, it’s nice. Thanks for sharing. I guess you were right, that was a good question.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Losing herself in his amber eyes, she moved closer, her forehead meeting his before tenderly kissing his lips, knowing they were going to be alright. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone else nervous about the recoupling?”  Jess asked the group as they primped in the dressing room, which had fallen into a disaster zone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank god, someone said it,” Chelsea called out. “I’ve had a spooky feeling all day. Like something horrible is going to happen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two are being paranoid,” Allegra said. “I have a good feeling about tonight. My luck is turning around.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like bad news for the rest of us,” Lottie snarked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra rolled her eyes at Lottie’s remark, choosing to ignore rather than engage with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever happens, I’m excited. All the guys are fit, I have my preferences, but I’m not going to turn down a shot with any of them.” Talia shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to be so mad if Rohan doesn’t pick me.” Chelsea stomped her foot adorably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as Noah doesn’t pick me, I’m good,” Priya said with a smile.</span>
</p><p><span>“Same here,” Jess quickly agreed. “I mean, Noah’s great.” It took restraint to avoid rolling her eyes at her lacklustre defence of Noah. </span><em><span>Noah’s great?</span></em> <em><span>Why am I saying this? </span></em></p><p>
  <span> Pushing down her negative feelings about the librarian, Jess continued, “It just didn’t work out with us. For reasons you may have surmised.” She shot a glare at Allegra. “I hope he finds the right person for him. I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately, I don’t think it was going anywhere. I felt like he was pushing me too fast, rushing things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like he wanted to get his dick in you to claim you as his after the Levi thing?” Lottie suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god,” Jess moaned. “That is what it felt like. Like he needed sexual reassurance.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As I’ve been saying for wee-” Priya stopped herself before continuing “days now, Noah is a creep. He’s a nice guy. But you know. A nice guy in quotes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, anyway. I’m ready for a change. It’s going to be weird, coupling up with Bobby. I’m excited, but freaking out a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be fine, and if it’s not you can change him up next round,” Priya pointed out. “Jake is picking me again, which is fine. Sparks aren’t exactly flying, but there isn’t anyone else I’m into. They brought in two new guys and neither is doing it for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I have a very good feeling about who’s planning to pick me. We recently connected. Physically.” Allegra gave Jess a pointed smirk. “And I think we’re going to connect physically a bit more later.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gag.” Lottie cringed openly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girls, why are we so nervous? No one’s going home, everything is going to be fine,” Chelsea cheerfully said, trying to energize the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so. Let’s get it over with.” Jess sighed, moving towards the door, nerves shooting through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to ignore the ominous feeling in her chest. It was the same feeling she had on the second night when she had to steal a guy. Except this time, it wasn’t her choice. It was up to the boys to decide. Trying to bury her fears, she plastered on a smile while greeting the boys at the fireplace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over at Bobby who nervously smiled back at her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He seems worried. Maybe this is a mistake.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the guys seemed more relaxed. Gary and Rocco were chatting loudly, debating the merits of meditation while Jake greeted Priya with a sweet smile. Noah stood alone, stoic and determined, looking less nervous than at the first recoupling. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He knows who he’s picking and isn’t worried about it. Must be Allegra. Who else would he be certain he would get to choose? She’s definitely getting picked last if it’s not him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls gathered in a row standing in front of the firepit while the guys sat. Recouplings were an exercise in driving the islanders into an anxiety-driven panic. The producers milked every silent moment for all it was worth, drawing the process out to frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the first phone went off. Rocco stood and faced the group of girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m picking this girl because I’m drawn to her beauty, like a moth to the flame. She’s cool, sexy, and I’m excited to see where this adventure will take us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t choose me, please don’t choose me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“The girl I want to couple up with is-” Rocco paused as if he didn’t realize how stressful and dramatic the situation already was. “Lottie”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a sigh of relief before turning to see a furious looking Lottie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell Rocco, why would you pick me?” Lottie aggressively moved towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, our auras are aligned, I can feel it right here.” He pointed to his stomach. “I’m sure if you check the tea leaves, they’ll agree.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie relaxed at the mention of tea leaves. “I guess, we’ll see,” she said as she followed Rocco back to the bench and sat beside him. He tried to grasp her hand, but she flung it away, crossing her arms in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary was up next, looking uncertain. “I obviously wasn’t expecting to choose this girl, but I guess things happen.” He shrugged, narrowing his eyes at Rocco. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s somehow managing to look angry and chill at the same time. It’s an impressive talent.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“This girl is nice, funny, and is a great friend. The girl I want to couple up with is Jess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt her expression go blank. This was not an outcome she had considered. Looking over at Lottie, her lips were pursed and brows furrowed, obviously not happy with the development either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess walked towards an equally unenthusiastic Gary.  She found herself approaching Bobby instead, he reached for her hand, looking into her eyes. “Don’t worry, lass.  we’ll get our chance.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smiled sadly at him before sitting down next to Gary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, huh?” Gary whispered over to her. “I’m sorry, I wouldn't have picked you if I knew you had a thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok,” Jess reassured. “Maybe it’s for the best.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was if the producers knew exactly what was going to happen, playing the puppeteers in the lives of the islanders. Bobby’s phone was the next to ring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is turning out to be a little bit of a disaster.” He chuckled lightly, as he and Jess exchanged a look. “But I’m picking this girl because she’s the best rap battle partner a guy could hope for. The girl I’m coupling up with is Priya.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart sank at his words. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really, Priya? It had to be Priya. The one person I’m worried he likes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>While she hadn’t been thrilled Gary picked her, Bobby picking Priya left her with a sick feeling gnawing away her gut.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t compete with Priya. She’s sexy, funny, smart, beautiful...if she wants him, we’re done.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the islanders cheered as Priya happily ran over to Bobby who pulled her into a hug before finding their spots on the bench. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess didn’t cheer. She felt frozen, sinking into the bench as if it was quicksand. Gary reached for her hand, he must have noticed her inaction and the broken look on her face. Keeping her eyes focused on their entwined hands, she forced out a smile, avoiding looking over at the new couple. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did he have to pick the most gorgeous girl in the villa?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Next up was Noah who confidently stood directing his speech to Talia. It was sweet but formulaic and safe. Perfectly Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Talia walked over to Noah, Allegra shot towards him, looking like she was going to explode. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell, Noah? I literally got down on my knees for you and you’re picking her?” she lashed out, pointing over to Talia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess resisted the urge to let out a giggle, feeling immense gratitude towards Allegra for distracting her from her worries about Priya and confirming things publicly. Noah cheated on her with Allegra, it was official. His face flushed in response as he ignored acknowledging her attack, sitting down with Talia who looked less than enthusiastic about the pairing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The disaster continued as Jake picked Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I mean, I can’t say I blame him. Who wants to get stuck with Allegra? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Rohan. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan didn’t have much to say about his ‘choice’. He put on a brave face as he ended the recoupling by lacklusterly choosing Allegra. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What a fucking disaster. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>No one knew what to say or do once it was over. There was an undercurrent of confusion as everyone seemed to be asking themselves ‘who should I go with, my official partner, or the one I was supposed to be with?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie appeared to be the only one assertive enough to ask the questions, directing to Rocco, “Why did you pick me? You knew I had a thing with Gary?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco shifted uncomfortable, looking flabbergasted at having his decision questioned. “The fates decided it was my turn to go-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie interrupted him with a bitter laugh. “It wasn't fate, you fuckwad, it was the Love Island producers trying to stir up conflict, which you gave them in spades.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you,” Lottie directed to Gary. “How could you pick Jess after the way she snaked me with Levi? She’s going to try to do the same to you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that really what she thinks of me? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess frowned, realizing she hadn’t made any progress with Lottie after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake stepped in, “Maybe we should all step away and cool down before we say something we'll regret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak for yourself, I’m not letting Rocco off the hook for this. He screwed us all over tonight. No one got who they were supposed to because he picked me. Without asking me or giving a heads up. I was completely blindsided and the chaos ricocheted down and got everyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got who I wanted,” Noah said with a shrug, holding Talias’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well bully for you. You're the only one, and you're the guy who deserves to be happy the least,” Lottie snarled, shooting Noah a venomous look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Noah? Do you need a list?” Priya asked, challenging Noah with a raised brow and intense glare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catching Bobby’s eye, Jess gestured towards him directing him away from the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Terrace?” he asked, sounding exasperated as she was by the drama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, please.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So, that didn’t quite go how I expected,” he said as they sat down on the terrace bench, a measured distance from each other. The empty space, a physical representation of the contrast from hours earlier when they sat together. Excited for the recoupling. Excited to finally share a bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, their hopes were dashed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, That seems to be how most people are feeling. So.” Jess nervously decided to broach the dreaded topic of the night. “You and Priya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness, you’re jealous.” He chuckled, throwing his head back slightly at the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” She reached over to him, trying to cover his mouth with her hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're so jealous, it’s adorable.” He grabbed her hands, pulling them down to her side as he closed the distance between them, kissing her lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the worst. Seriously. I’m not jealous, just curious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you were jealous, I would tell you you’re the only girl here I’m into and you have nothing to worry about. But you aren’t jealous, so...”  Bobby’s amber eyes joyfully sparkled as he zipped his lips. “What about you, do I have to worry about Gary turning your head?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary?” She raised her eyebrow and smiled at the question. “Definitely, not. He’s great, but we’re just friends. But I’m ...a little unsure where we go from here. We’re both coupled up with other people. Again. Who knows when the next recoupling is going to be. It complicates things.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn't have to, Priya and I are just friends. Same with you and Gary. We can wait it out, I hate that we can’t share a bed yet, but I’ll settle for an occasional snog.” He leaned in as Jess pushed him away with her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing up, she began to pace. “I don’t want to make the same mistakes. Sneaking around. After what happened with Levi, ending things with Noah. I don’t want to cause any more drama. Noah’s still upset with me. Lottie too, I guess. I don’t want any more enemies.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise you there’s nothing with me and Priya. Just because we aren’t coupled up, doesn’t mean we have to keep it a secret. I don’t want to be a secret. As long as we're upfront with everyone, I don’t see the problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With everything going on, I want some sort of stability. Now you and I feel unsettled. On the brink of something, but not there yet. I want to be there,” she said, frustration overtaking her. “To be honest, I was excited to snog you a bit tonight. But now? We’re back in limbo, waiting for the next recoupling. And who knows what will happen then? What if Allegra picks you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, please no. Don’t even joke about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, too far?” Jess asked, happy to have lightened the mood. She felt herself spiralling into an overanalysis attack. She was a classic overthinker, sometimes needing a reminder to stop, breathe, and relinquish control to her emotions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. You know I’m willing to take this as slow or fast as you’d like. The important thing is we’re together. Everything else is just cupcakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cupcakes? I thought the phrase was gravy.” Jess smiled and sat back down next to Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like cupcakes better than gravy, don’t you? Something about that thick, sloppy goo never quite sat right with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed, “You really know how to get a lady in the mood with your words, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I think I’m just nervous. I’ve never known anyone like you. That and I just really like cupcakes.” Bobby chuckled to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked into his amber eyes and saw a wary blink. He was so nervous. It was almost cute if she didn’t feel like he was hesitating. Bobby’s eyes dropped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, you know I want you but I don’t want to rush anything, even kissing. I don’t want to push you. I’m honestly happy just being close to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was exactly what Jess needed to hear. She pushed closer to him, pulling him into an embrace. Jess nestled herself into his neck, before nibbling his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- oh, okay.” Bobby laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled away and looked into those big, beautiful eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck it, I want this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt warm all over. Bobby was someone she wanted to open up to physically in a way that she’d never felt before, even with Levi or Paul. She wondered if that was the problem with Noah. She never completely trusted he was genuine. How could she after how he treated Priya? They were doomed from the start. Why was she thinking of all this now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slid her hand down his chest, teasing him with light circular movements on his nipple, his floral shirt an agonizing barrier to his skin. She pulled back and looked down at him. His button-up shirt was a mess. Pulled haphazardly to the side, practically falling off his shoulder, held on by a hope and a prayer - plus one or two buttons.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Bobby, you really need a lesson on buttoning your shirt. Well, I guess it works in my favour.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess bent her wrist and moved her hand under the loose fabric, pushing it aside revealing the light brown freckles on his chest and shoulders. Her mind ablaze, she relished the senses of touching his warm skin. It radiated against her. Lower and lower she moved her hand before finding his nipple, finally uncovered from that patterned fabric. Her finger gently gliding over the nub.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, lass?” Bobby choked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled her lips from his neck and looked at him, her arm still awkwardly shoved down the front of his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might be easier if I just take this off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s the fun in that?” Jess laughed, resigning herself to twisting open his last few buttons. She sighed as she pulled her hand out from under his shirt. This was a two-hand operation.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if the fire is still going? I should really throw this stupid shirt in there…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby grinned as Jess slid the shirt over his arms and finally off his body, tossing it as far from the bench as she could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile widened, “I always have trouble with the buttons too. It takes me hours to get ready in the mornings. It’s why I’m usually the last one out of the bedroom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you only use two buttons on your shirt? All the pieces are finally coming together!” Jess giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get antsy for breakfas-'' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby's words cut off as Jess returned her hands to his chest and abdomen, finally exposed, all for her. He was no Levi, but he was fit. There was something comforting about his lean torso. She liked being able to rub her hands over his skin without thinking she was feeling-up some kind of hairless ape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pressed her mouth to the centre of his chest, drawing her lips against his skin while her fingers made their way back to his nipple and explored his stomach. Dropping lower, feeling every ridge and ripple of his body. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It felt so right, was this real?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How am I going to screw this up?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess paused. She lifted her head and looked into his eyes, her jaw tense. Bobby’s hard gaze softened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, we’ll take it slow, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pushed her lips forward to meet his. They were somehow both soft and firm, wet but not too wet. He tasted sweet like he was actually made of cake. Her fingers still dancing on his chest, feeling every ridge and bristle, Jess slid her tongue in meeting his. Warm and slick. She ran her tongue along his teeth while he reciprocated every movement, volleying between their wet mouths.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God, she wanted him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The urge to see him again overtook Jess as she pulled her face from him, lips still glistening. She lifted herself and perched above his body, one hand resting on his bare chest. She wanted a moment to just gaze at this beautiful boy. He had such a pretty face, but his once soft eyes were blazing. Penetrating her. Hot sparks lighting a fire in her legs, rising the longer they shared the look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slid her body higher on Bobby, never unlocking their stare. Carefully, she swung one leg over his, pressing down on his thigh. She moved her hips in small circles, grinding into his skin. A soft moan escaped her lips as the sheer fabric of her panties became slick against him, the soft pressure unbearable. She wanted him to feel it. Wanted him to know her physical desire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shared the look for what felt like an eternity, Jess grinding into Bobby’s leg while he looked on in wonder, delicately stroking her skin with the tips of his fingers. Finally, Jess drew her gaze from his eyes and looked down. She could see his outline straining against his shorts, begging for release. Her hands drifted down his chest and to his waistband. Jess couldn’t help but let out a nervous giggle while her legs tensed up around his thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hand glided over the leather band and unbuckled the pin. Bobby let out a gasp and slightly raised his hips. Jess pressed her lips back to his as she delicately slid under his waistband and wrapped her hand around him. Hard and smooth. His cock felt like fire against her skin. He let out a sigh and placed his hands on either side of Jess’ face, pulling her in closer. Their tongues entwined while Jess gripped every bit of him, gently tugging and stroking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled her lips from his and kissed his chin. Jess felt the warm air escaping from his mouth as he sighed in delight. She started kissing lower. First his chin, then his neck. His chest. His abdomen. His waist. She felt his body shudder under her lips as she kissed his hip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby let out a laugh, “Sorry - that tickled!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes smouldering with lust. Bobby’s expression went from silly to deathly serious. “No.” He said hoarsely. “Me first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a flash, Bobby swung his hands under Jess’s arms and flung her onto her back. Before she knew what hit her, his face hovered over her - that fire burning in his eyes. An almost animalistic groan emanated from him as he pressed his mouth against hers. His tongue pushing past her lips, exploring every bit of her mouth. Jess had never felt anything like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh wow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As quickly as he’d pressed against her, he pulled away. His eyes piercing through her, looking at her like she’s the only girl he’d ever wanted in his entire life. Like she was everything. His whole world. This man she’d known for 13 days coming down to this. He had her, and she had him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands wandered down her body, pausing briefly at her breasts. He wrapped his slender fingers around her, gently flicking her hard nipples pressing through her dress. It sent a jolt through her body and she let out a soft moan. It was quickly obvious he wanted more when his head lowered further down her body. Jess let out a gasp as she felt his breath inside her dress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At an almost unbearable pace, Bobby slid up the bottom of her dress. His face lingering, hovering so close, but never exactly where she wanted. All the while, his long arms kept his hand perched on her breast, gently caressing and tweaking, sending shudders through her while she admired his beautiful hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess' dress now fully pulled up over her hips, Bobby lingered over her. His mouth between her legs, hovering painfully close to the fabric of her panties. He seemed completely engrossed with her. Staring down, taking in every beautiful bit of her body. Jess couldn’t help but lift her head and look at him. The way he admired her, like a piece of artwork. He looked up and his eyes met hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look they shared was all it took. His eyes lowered and he pressed his mouth to the outside of Jess’ panties. His warm breath penetrating the already wet cloth that separated her from his tongue. Jess let out a whimper almost simultaneously as Bobby sighed into her. His teeth barred against her, he raised his free hand to slide his fingers under her black satin underwear. Hot. Slick. She felt warm all over, even in the cool breeze of the terrace. He teased her, running his fingers just outside of her centre, occasionally drawing them up the middle. Jess bucked her hips every time he slid his wet fingers over her. She felt Bobby groan against her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The corniness, the hesitation, any silliness was gone. Bobby looked up at her with lust in his eyes. He dropped his hand from her breast and with a yank, pulled her panties off, drawing wet heat down her legs. Jess felt exposed, but Bobby’s face, his warm breath and soft smile made her feel safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, is this okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess bit her lip and nodded subtly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there it was, his tongue finally pressed into her. A warm tempest of fire enveloped her body. Wet. Hot. Firm. Soft. A whirlwind of pleasure spun around Jess. Her dress spiked up above her knees, one hand clinging to her breast while the other tangled around his dreadlocks. His mouth exploring every bit of her. Teasing, nipping, licking. Finally enveloping her in soft warmth. Was Bobby ever serious? He was serious about this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess bucked her hips against his face. Why be coy? Why pretend? This is what she wanted. She wanted to come. And she wanted that freckled face to be there when it happened. Bobby. His eyes closed in ecstasy - relishing every movement of her bare, slick thighs sliding across his cheeks. His tongue pressed against her clit, occasionally exploring and gliding through every fold, but always returning to that spot. He knew exactly where to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Waves of pleasure started to build. Jess’ hips moved in rhythm with Bobby’s tongue. Flicking and sliding. Wandering to the side just far enough for her to long for more before returning to her throbbing clit. She pressed against him, her hand wrapped around his head, wanting it. Wanting him. And he wanted her. She knew he wanted her in a way she’d never experienced. She’d never been with someone who so badly needed her. Just her. Just her pleasure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess dropped her other hand to Bobby’s head and tugged him closer, drawing his tongue deeper inside. He groaned happily against her, she could practically feel his delighted smile on her skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stopped for just a moment, looking up at Jess with a cheeky grin, his lips glistening in the dim light. Jess looked down and whimpered. Like he could read her mind, Bobby’s face turned serious again as he thrust his tongue back in, his lips wrapping around her most sensitive parts. Sucking gently. His tongue lightly flicking at her clit, sliding against her while he pulled her in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’ legs felt hot, her chest and abdomen burned. Her hips bucked against Bobby’s face, her thighs sliding against his cheeks. She felt him hotly exhale as she finally pushed into him. His tongue pressing against her centre, a wave of pleasure coursing through her every fibre. She gasped and shuddered, quaking in exhausted delight as he continued to lick, enjoying every last drop of her. Relishing her taste as she came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her body quivered as she tried to lean up, opening her eyes to see the cutie burying his face in her. To Jess’ surprise, Bobby had his hand down his shorts. Gently pulling.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck that’s hot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You- you really like this huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked shocked, maybe even a little embarrassed. His eyes bulged before calming himself and responding, “Well yeah, I can’t imagine anything I’d rather be doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat up, her body still unstable from aftershocks. The feeling of Bobby’s tongue still lingering with every movement she made. Bobby sat up and started to draw his hand from beneath his waistband. Jess touched his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t,” she whispered, gently guiding him onto his back, her hand making its way to the bulge in his pants. She caressed him, feeling his knuckles and the firm grip on his cock through the light fabric. “I’m going to need you to take these off, but don’t you dare move your hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t help but share a laugh as Bobby struggled to unzip his shorts and pull them down to his knees, revealing his slim-fitting blue boxer briefs, covered in smiling, yellow faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oof,” Jess stammered, “okay. I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to need you to take these off!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, don’t they make you happy just looking at them?” Bobby said in a faux-whiney voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d be much happier seeing what’s under them,” Jess replied sternly. She decided with Bobby’s hand preoccupied, she may need to offer some assistance. She slid her fingers delicately under the elastic band and began to pull slowly, taking her time, growing more anxious with every exposed bit. The gentle slope of his hip bones guiding her eyes as she revealed the tip of his cock. Pulling further, she arrived at his hand, gripping his shaft.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grinned widely and stood up, pulling his underwear and shorts all the way off with her movement. She wanted a moment to just look at him. Jess stood above Bobby and just observed his body. Naked. Vulnerable, but smiling. His beautiful fingers firmly wrapped around his rock hard member. So turned on by going down on her that he just couldn’t help himself. Jess blushed as the flattery of it all hit her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shifted his position slightly, propping himself up on his free elbow as if striking a pose. He flashed her a wide, cheesy grin like he was some kind of movie star at a photo shoot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you’re enjoying the view, would you like me to keep going?” Bobby said in a sultry voice, his words not nearly as sexy as the way he said them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess swung her hair to one side and gave him an over-the-top smoulder. She bent her hip toward him and playfully cooed, “Oh yes baby, but I want to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was too much and both Jess and Bobby cracked up at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. Bobby started to remove his hand from his cock but Jess shot him an intense stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey now, I was serious. This is serious business!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my, yes ma’am!” Bobby saluted her with his free-hand, causing him to lose balance and fall back onto this back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was like an animal. She seized the opportunity and lunged forward, her body draped across him as she went for his lips. Her slick mound sliding over his hand and tip of his cock, grinding her wet clit against his package while her mouth met his. His lips and cheeks were still slippery from her. There was something so sexy about tasting herself on him, fueled by lust but also a deep bonding. Comfort in being able to share something so intimate. Like they belonged to each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled her lips from his, a gentle strand forming between them. She began kissing lower, leaving a wet trail down his chest. She wiggled her hips further down his legs, exposing him, now glistening from her. Jess placed her hands on his abs, pushing herself up, straddling him, her centre achingly close to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I think you’ve worked hard enough for one day. It’s my turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moved her hands to him, wrapping her palms around his tip. She gently guided his hand down and away as her own hands replaced his, slowly messaging and stroking his slippery cock. Bobby let out a guttural moan as she gripped harder, stroking down his shaft, the bottoms of her hands pressing into his abdomen and balls. He pushed lightly into her fists, his body involuntarily trying to fuck her fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jess...” he gasped through clenched teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Jess</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d never felt so confident in her entire life. It was if she could anticipate his every need and desire. She had him in the palm of her hand, literally, and she knew anything she did would bring him nothing but ecstasy. She’d never felt hotter now in total control of Bobby’s cock.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby touching himself while going down on me. I get it now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slid her hands down and held on to the base, pointing the tip straight up as she lowered her mouth to him. She pursed her lips and took the head in her mouth, flicking it gently with her tongue as she guided him deeper. His cock was so hot in her mouth, she could feel every pulse and throb. Bobby squirmed below her, his body tensing up before relaxing after every delicate lick and gentle suck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a low moan, Jess slid her mouth further down his shaft, filling her mouth with his hot skin. Bobby tensed up under her. She could feel him holding back, trying not to buck up and push down her throat. It was sexy feeling him suffer a little, though she kind of wished he’d just give in and fuck her mouth, like she’d done to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And as if reading her mind, Bobby jerked slightly, driving himself deeper in. Jess gave out a slight whimper as the head of his hard cock hit the back of her mouth. Just as quickly, Bobby recoiled, a look of worry on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry babe, I kind of lost control there for a second. That feels so incredible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slowly drew her mouth from him, his wet shaft suspended just below her chin. She looked at Bobby with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing to apologize for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She returned her mouth to him, this time taking him deeper. Feeling his burning skin push past her lips and against her wet tongue. The thought of making him come - of being the person that could give him everything drove her wild. She removed one of her hands from his base and slid it under her dress, between her legs. Sucking Bobby’s cock made her ache for more and she was going to get it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve never felt this confident with someone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slid two fingers over her wet clit and began to rub, timing her touch with the rhythmic sucking and thrusting of the warm cock in her mouth. Imagining every thrust inside her, mimicking the movements with her fingers. Waves of pleasure shuddered through her legs and abdomen. Pleasing Bobby, she couldn’t believe she was going to come again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt herself burst as the warmth overtook her. She gripped Bobby’s cock tighter and stifled a scream against him. Her whole body tensed up as she sent herself over the edge, her fingers dripping with lust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reared her head up, sliding Bobby from her mouth. She panted, trying to catch her breath. Through messy hair, she looked at him. His eyes were wide, his chest heaving in delight as he’d watched her get herself off. Jess bit her lip and smirked, loose strands of hair wisping delicately over her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve still got control.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She still had him where she wanted him. Jess removed her hand from between her legs and wrapped it around Bobby’s still slippery cock. One hand gripping his shaft while the other messaged the head, pulsing with desire. She began to stroke. Slow at first but building in intensity. Faster and faster, her own sex shimmering on him. She saw his abs flex as he pushed against her, pinning himself against the bed - his body shuddering and begging for release. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, yes..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cried out as his whole body convulsed. His cock throbbed in her hand as he came, hot and white, dripping down her fingers and onto his stomach. She continued to hold him delicately as he twitched, hyper-sensitive to her every touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laid down beside him, draping her arm over his chest while he slid his arm under her neck, drawing her in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a long time, they just lay in silence. Listening to each other’s frantic panting return to steady, content breathing, sweat drying on their bodies. Finally, Bobby broke the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you imagine being the guy who has to clean up all the spunk at this place? I mean, that’s got to be someone’s job, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Really? That’s what he has to say. I adore him, but that’s exactly why I can’t take him too seriously. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm so happy I’ve met someone I can have fun with, no pressure. If it doesn't work out, we can go back to just being friends. As Chelsea would say, no biggie.”  She cheerfully sighed, as she leaned against him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Bobby pulled away, his eyes narrowed. “After what just happened, that’s the first thing you have to say to me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe you broke the silence first with a dumb joke. What’s the big deal?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You keep saying shit like that. Why are you so sure things might not work out for us?  That we’re so incompatible? I want marriage and kids. So do you. We want the same things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t see it for us. Can you really imagine yourself as a dad? You don’t take anything seriously.” Waving her arms, she tried to figure out how they had gotten to this point. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why were they fighting? Is it too late to rewind 30 seconds? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you kidding? I take you seriously.” His frustration turned to sadness as he paused. “Do you.. Do you think you’re too good for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, why would you even ask? We’re just different.” She sighed. Trying to articulate how she feels seems like an impossible task. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s complicated. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Different, how?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn’t find the words to reassure him, because he was right. As much as she didn’t want to admit it for his sake, she did think she was out of his league in the ways that mattered. She travelled all the time for work, he lived in the same town he was born in. She graduated with a master's, he never went to Uni. She wanted marriage and kids, but Bobby didn't seem like someone who would be a great partner. He would be cracking jokes, playing with the kids while she was left with all the hard work. She was serious, boring...while he was more comfortable playing the part of the clown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby watched her, waiting for an answer that wasn't coming before standing and wordlessly leaving her alone on the terrace with her thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The weight of her inaction pulled her to the ground. Why couldn’t she say anything? Why was she doomed to silence at the times when she needed her voice the most. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she was honest with Bobby about her concerns, maybe they could have a reasonable conversation instead of him sulking off, leaving so much unsaid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomorrow with clear heads, they will figure it out.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Now at this last we must take a hard road, a road unforeseen. There lies our hope, if hope it be.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span> “Jess, Jess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sleeping, leave me alone,” Jess called out without opening her eyes. She felt someone poking at her shoulder and reluctantly looked up to see Bobby. Crouched near her bed, a few inches from her face. He smiled sadly at her as if he was never going to see her again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I’m leaving,” he answered, shifting away from her and standing up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” She groggily pulled herself upright in her bed, trying to hide her concern as a chill jolted down her spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The guys. We’re all leaving. Going on a trip and I’m not sure when we’ll be back. I didn’t want to leave without talking to you. After last night,” he said, broaching the difficult topic of their argument. He looked sad and desperate as if searching her eyes for answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Last night. It was wonderful until it wasn’t. And now he’s leaving. Of course, the guys are leaving. It’s the perfect time. I hate the people who run this damn show. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached for his hand, he stiffened at her touch before relaxing into her. “Bobby, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t want things to be like this between us. The recoupling yesterday, our fight, and now you’re leaving.” She paused, looking away from him. “I think we both know where you’re going. Maybe we should take it as a sign and crack on. Go back to being just friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that what you want?” He took a step closer, before shifting back again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights were off and she could barely make out his face but could feel the resigned sadness in his voice. All she had to say was ‘No, I don’t want that.’ It was all he needed to hear and she knew it. He wanted to close the distance between them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We owe it to ourselves to be open to meeting new people,” she said carefully, not wanting to hurt his feelings. If he was leaving, they would be bringing in new guys. It seemed smart to consider her options with the tenuous state things. Her dream guy could walk in today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. If that’s what you want. Seriously, Jess. I’m done.” His sadness turned bitter in an instant. “I deserve better than to be treated like I’m beneath you. I would never treat you like this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby I don’t mea-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t. Bye.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that Bobby was leaving for Casa Amor. He sharply turned, exiting without a second glance, leaving her uncertain and empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. Fuck. The moment he was gone the sinking feeling in her gut returned. She felt her body fully slump back into bed, unable to get up. Chase after him. Tell him...something. Anything. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did I feel the need to hedge my bets? Just because there’s a small chance I could fall for a new guy today? Bobby deserves better than me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She was already full of regret, dovetailing into a panic spiral and he’d only been gone thirty seconds. How long would they be gone? She didn’t want Bobby to crack on with someone new. What if he actually did? What if he liked her? What if he returned with someone better? Someone who actually appreciated him? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. Bobby wouldn’t do that. He would never leave Priya vulnerable. Even if he is upset with me, he’s loyal. I need to ensure Priya doesn’t fall for anyone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I miss him already, I wish I had hugged him before he left, felt his body against mine once last time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly the girls came down to breakfast, each with a face full of confusion. She could see them pondering the question, ‘Where are the guys?’ and the moment the realization hit them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Other than Chelsea, whose confused expression remained plastered on her face until she asked aloud, “Where are the boys? I figured they’d be down here, but nope. I was hoping Jake would make me breakfast. You know, since we’re stuck coupled up again. What a disaster. But who knows, maybe it’ll be fun. He is super fit. Have you seen any of the guys today? It’s pretty quiet.” Chelsea peered over at the gym before returning her gaze to the girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chels, I hate to tell you this-” Jess began to tell her what everyone had already deduced when she heard a phone beep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. Texty time,” Chelsea excitedly squealed and pulled out her phone. “Oh no. The guys are gone. They’re at Casa Amor.” Chelsea’s concerned eyes moved from the phone, scanning the girls for reactions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think everyone else figured that out 20 minutes ago.” Allegra rolled her eyes.  Jess frowned hearing Allegra mutter under her breath. “Fuckin’ moron.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. We’re getting new guys,” Chelsea yelled as she jumped up and down enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So much for Jake and his breakfast,” Lottie said with a playful smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I don’t know if I’m going to like them. But I’m not going to say no to checking out what else is on the menu.” Chelsea shrugged, still looking like a kid in a candy shop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not fair. The guys get to go somewhere new and we’re stuck at the same boring villa. Anyway, did they say when the new talent is arriving?” Allegra asked, eyes laser-focused on Chelsea, awaiting the response. She reeked of desperation at the thought of new guys, men who might actually fancy her. Or at least pretend to if they wanted to stay in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They just said to head to the challenge stage after breakfast. Ahhhh. I’m too excited to eat. I’m going to find my best bikini,” Chelsea said as she ran off to change, skipping her way into the villa.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are the rest of us feeling? None of us are really settled,” Priya said, looking thoughtful as she sipped her tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true, I don’t care what shenanigans Rocco gets into. But if he brings a trashy casa girl back, I might have to leave.” Lottie sighed irritably. “Fucking Rocco. He spouted some bull crap about our souls being bonded. And now I’m stuck with him and Gary-” She narrowed her eyes at Jess. “Well, who knows what Jess is going to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never know with me.” Jess shrugged, shooting Lottie a teasing smile. “Things with me and Bobby are weird now, so I’m open to new guys. But I don’t want to leave Gary vulnerable. I guess we’ll see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired of these boys, I hope they bring in some men,” Allegra said with a dreamy look in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just bitter because all the guys can see you for who you are, and want none of it. Give it a rest, Leggy,” Jess said, fed up with Allegra constantly insulting the villa boys. It was petty as fuck, and perfectly Allegra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra rolled her eyes, “Whatever, babes. I’m going to put on my face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you put on a different one?  I’m pretty sick of this one,” Lottie called out after her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra turned back and stuck out her middle finger before continuing her exit</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve switched sides. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>literally the worst, can there please be a dumping soon?” Priya said the moment Allegra was out of earshot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s the one thing we can all agree on,” Jess said, looking over at Lottie who nodded with her lips upturned at the corners in a light smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably follow her lead and get ready to meet the guys. I can’t lie, I’m excited. More fit guys, I’m all about that.” Priya smiled wide, before taking a sip of her tea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess frowned. “What about Bobby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya nearly spit out her tea in surprise. “Bobby? Bobby knows we're just friends. I hope he brings someone back, he deserves someone amazing. He’s had horrible luck so far here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stiffened in response, which didn’t go unnoticed by Priya. She looked flustered, wanting to backtrack, opening and closing her mouth before continuing. “Uh, I mean. Things could work out for you two. It just….I talked to him last night about it and he wasn’t optimistic. I don’t know the details, but he was pretty broken up about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt her chest tighten and averted her eyes to the ground. </span>
  <em>
    <span> I feel awful and sick, a literal pile of garbage pretending to be a person. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so sweet and wonderful. I ruined things between us and hurt him. Bobby deserves so much better than me. He was right. I miss him, if only he was here right now. We could talk things through and both feel better. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would give anything for a boop right now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m sure it’ll be ok. Bobby will get over it,” Priya said reassuringly. “Let’s go. New guy time Get your cutest bikinis on. Gotta look sun-sizzling hot.“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let's do it. I’m loyal, but I’m not going to spend the next few days working on my tan.” Lottie moved towards the villa as Priya followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t even imagine you with a tan,” Jess said, plastering on a fake smile and joining the girls to prepare. While half-heartedly listening to Lottie’s tale of her former beach days in Australia and her once gloriously tan skin, Jess could only think of Casa Amor and what was happening there. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was Bobby already cracking on with someone new? Stop. Don’t think about this. If he is, there’s nothing you can do about it now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The guys would be back soon. She was doomed to be an anxious mess until apologizing to Bobby. He deserved better than the half-assed apology she gave him earlier. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just need to make it through the next few days without going insane. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After the girls primped enough to make an ideal first impression on the new boys, they rushed to the challenge platform. They were greeted by a giant wall with multiple large holes. A sign was posted, labelled “ </span>
  <b>Battle of the Bods</b>
  <span> ”. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But no new islanders. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Interesting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra received a text and loudly shared it with the group, “ladies, it’s time to meet the new boys. And judge them. They are hidden on the other side of the wall. Each girl will take turns copping a feel of all the boys and judge who has the best physique #theholepackage #anyholeisago.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls cheered enthusiastically as was expected from the Love Island producers. There was something inherently performative about the challenges, a reminder that people were watching at home and they needed to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was her least favourite part of the day. Even more so than Beach Hut sessions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra continued as another text came in,“which boy has the best bod? Dish out points for your top three favourites, giving one point to their third-placed body, two to the runner-up and three to the winner. Everyone got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do the producers insist on referring to them as boys? It feels juvenile. They’re men. Guys. Hunks. Blokes. Studs. Sex gods. Any of those would be better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Cheering commenced as Priya took her turn first. She looked like the cat about to eat the canary, salivating at the chance to devour each one.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t think of anything more awkward than feeling up someone I haven’t met yet. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>If Priya was uncomfortable, she didn’t show it. She appeared to be loving every moment of it, licking her lips and taking ample time to explore each mysterious, rippled body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, this one is a big guy,” she cooed to the second guy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea, Lottie, and Allegra followed until it was Jess’s turn. She couldn’t wait to get a hold of contestant number three, nearly all of the girls ranked him first. Otherwise, it was fairly even. Except for poor number five who’s board was empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking over to the wall sheltering the identities of the new arrivals, she let out a laugh at the absurdity. How had her life taken her to this moment? Feeling up strangers through glory holes on television for all the world to see? It was truly preposterous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting her arms through the top holes she felt for the arms, there were lean but strong. Moving to the chest, he had abs but they weren’t well defined. Shifting to the ground, she placed her arms through the leg holes to find thin but strong legs. He had a nice feel, but a tad too scrawny. Jess preferred a leaner build, but this guy needed a touch more bulk. At least to be ranked number one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mystery guy number two felt like he was literally made of rock. It was too much. He was all muscle, she could feel the veins running down his arms. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nope. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The next guy, the favourite of all the girls other than Allegra, felt as amazing as expected. Big but not too big. His abs were incredible, defined, but enjoyable to rub your hand - or other parts against. Guy number one- too soft, number two- too hard, but mystery man number three felt just right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moving down the line, she approached the fourth guy. Reaching through the hole. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow. That’s not an arm. How tall is this guy? </span>
  </em>
  <span> She moved an arm to the leg slots, grasping at his legs. Thick and strong. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is the weirdest way they could have possibly introduced new islanders. I hope the guys aren’t doing this with the new girls. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Mystery man number five may have been the opposite of the previous guy. Small and lean. But with some muscle definition. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the last guy. Number six. With one touch, she knew he wasn’t for her. Like the second guy, he was far too bulky for her. It was like caressing stone. She groped a bit, for science and then moved away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess strolled back down the wall, contemplating her choices. It was time to cast her vote. Really, all the guys were amazing, except mystery guy number five, whose physique was definitely lacking compared to the other guys. Guy number three was the obvious winner, but what was this going to do to his ego? She considered ranking someone else first, but it would be a lie. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m tired of lying about things. How I feel. What I’m doing. Who I want. I can be better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Mystery guy number three was the recipient of her first ranking, while she gave number four the position of runner up. For third place, Jess chose mystery guy number one. His body was lean, but it was also the sort of body she preferred, never having been too attracted to muscle-bound behemoths. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra counted up the totals and prepared to announce the ranking. “Ok, in last place with zero points, is boy number five.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls cheered enthusiastically as a shorter guy with dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and tattoos covering his right arm walked out. “Big T in the house” he called out, demonstrating his body with muscle man style posing. “I’m Tim, MC Tim, I’m 23, a DJ from Truro. Love island representing, ladies fainting, my rhymes ain't wasting their devastation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wow. He’s a bit much. Or a lot much.  And his body isn’t terrible...he looks like he might have an ab or two. If this is the worst of the bunch, I’m excited to see the rest. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned directly at Jess, making a call-me gesture with his hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so extra, he’d give Bobby a run for it. I miss Bobby. I wonder what the guys are up to. Probably meeting the new girls…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see why you came in last,” Allegra snarked, looking over to the others for validation. The girls stood silent. “Ugh, ok next is boy number one. With one whole point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoooo,” Chelsea squealed as the next guy came out. He was ghostly pale with long blond hair and a slim frame. He looked dexterous and fun, a huge smile on his face as he strutted out to greet the girls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Henrik, I’m a twenty-three-year-old climbing and wilderness survival instructor from Isle of Wight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Isle of White is right. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone so pale. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra remained unimpressed, rolling her eyes dismissively as she assessed him. “Ok, moving on. Next up is my favourite, boy number two with five points. Come on out!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out walked the bulkiest man Jess had ever seen. Blonde hair buzzed close to his head in tiny black shorts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>His legs might be bigger than my waist.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello ladies, I’m Jakub, a bodybuilder. Obviously. Personal trainer and fitness model. 25 from Rochdale.” He smiled smugly before shifting into a frown. “These rankings are bunk. There’s no way any of the other guys are fitter than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra jumped to agree with him, “I know babe, you’ve got it going on. I’m very-” She paused casting an eye hungrily down his body. “Impressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool off Leggy, who’s next?” Lotte rolled her eyes at Allegra, before looking back towards the point totals. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In fourth place with seven points, we have boy number six…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With dark skin, kind eyes, and a strong jaw, the new arrival strutted in, gifting the ladies with a wide smile and pleasant vibes. His body was almost as jacked as Jakub but without the aggressive cockiness. He radiated confidence and fun- perhaps too much fun.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His short turquoise trunks brought back memories of Levi. It was superficial, but Jess missed Levi and his gorgeous bulge.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god, I know him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know from where, but I do. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright Ladies, I’m Mason. I’m twenty-four, a musician and underwear model from Romford. We’re going to have such an epic summer, excited to meet you all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s optimistic if he thinks he’ll be here all summer. I don’t trust guys from Romford after Noah. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm, I’m liking the talent now…” Allegra eyed Mason like he was her next meal. “Let’s see who’s next. With 10 points in 2nd place, boy number four.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A giant emerged from behind the wall. Literally the tallest man Jess had ever seen. He was striking with a friendly smile, long thick hair pulled into a ponytail, colourful clothes that competed with Bobby’s wardrobe, and well-defined eyebrows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon, I’m Tai, and I’m a twenty-eight-year-old rugby coach from New Zealand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oooooh. New Zealand.  I wonder if he’s sick of people asking him about Lord of the Rings.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone catching your eye so far?” Chelsea leaned over and quietly asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet. You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know. They’re all so fit, I want them all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it works that way, but I’m rooting for you.” Jess chuckled at Chelsea’s enthusiasm, wishing for a bit of her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And our winner is, of course, boy number three with 15 points….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To roars of applause, out came the winner. He was tall with spiky, over-gelled black hair, a beautiful face and body. He had dark almond-shaped eyes and tan skin. He was dressed as if he arrived straight from a photoshoot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body was perfect. It wasn’t overly bulky like some of the guys, or too lean. He had achieved perfect balance. A five-star man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop thinking about him. Move on. Move on. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Lucas, I’m a physiotherapist from Oxford.” Looking slightly bashful, he added. “Twenty-seven.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes gazed at Jess and she blushed, averting her eyes as if he had caught her secretly watching him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I got a text.” Priya looked down at her phone, reading the message.  “Lucas, as the winner you get to pick a girl to go on a date later this evening.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess heard a beep emitting from her own phone and read the message for the group. “Ladies, get ready for a speed date to get to know these new guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh. Speed dating. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well boys, let’s crack on,” Priya called out as Chelsea cheered loudly. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Small tables and chairs similar to brunch the other day were set up on the lawn. Jess sat at the chair closest to the pool, frustrated at herself for not being more enthusiastic about the new guys. It was probably the concept of speed dating. It’s an intense way to meet new people. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are the producers setting out to torture me today? This is all so horribly awkward, a nightmare come to life. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ok, let's get it over with. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>First up was Tim, who slid into his seat with more energy than a corgi at dinnertime. He immediately began tapping his fingers on the table to the beat of something only he could hear. His enthusiasm could only be matched by bubbly villa Queen, Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jess, Timye here. How are you this lovely day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, how about you?” She took him in, he had sharp, beautiful blue eyes and an intriguing spark that permeated his entire being. Definitely too much for me. He’s like Bobby on humour steroids without the depth. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hate that I treated him like he was a walking joke. That’s Tim, Bobby is so much more than that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I judging Tim prematurely as well? He would at least be fun, possibly perfect for Chelsea. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where would that leave Rohan? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loving it! This is the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s your deal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a DJ, rap enthusiast, and all-around fun guy.” He winked, dramatically putting his elbows on the table, and resting his head on his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you looking for in a partner?” She asked curiously. He was certainly a character, she wondered who his dream match would be. What’s his type? More than that, whose type is this weird funny guy?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need someone with enough banter to keep up with me. Which is why I’ll always be single.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I think there’s someone here who may be your speed,” Jess said with a knowing smile. Chelsea may not be his dream girl, but she was his perfect energy level match. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Catch ya later,” he chirped, moving over to Priya’s table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mason swiftly moved into the empty chair, turning it and straddling it confidently. He smiled broadly at Jess. “Hello, beautiful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I know you? I know I know you,” she asked, unable to resist getting right to the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh, well you may have seen me in my underwear before.” He winked at her with an abundance of confidence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised her eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m an underwear model. And I used to be a drummer in a band.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the name of the band?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seventh Heaven”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never heard of it, must have seen you in your underwear.” She shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not the last time,” he said, giving her another cheeky wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Smooth and cocky. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai was next. Lumbering over, he looked gigantic compared to the other guys. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached his arms out and Jess got up to hug him. He enveloped her in his strong but gentle arms, almost lifting her off the ground. It was the best hug she ever received- soothing, inviting, the hug version of a bowl of soup. Few things in this world are better than a good bowl of soup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After exchanging pleasantries and sitting down, Jess took him in. Tai had a sweet and fun energy that made her feel like warm cookies right out of the oven- a manly, musky look, but a glimmer of fun in his eyes indicating an energetic spirit. Jess found herself intrigued by this gentle giant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you’re a rugby coach, what’s that like?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fun, I’ve always been a pretty sporty guy and working with a team, leading them to victory. There's nothing more satisfying. It’s a blast.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not really into sports, but I’m glad you love it. It sounds nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a man of many talents, I’m sure one of them will interest you.” He tossed his hair dramatically before erupting into laughter at his own silliness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try me,” Jess said stifling a giggle, trying to hide how much she enjoyed his spirit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am very skilled at making pottery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is interesting, how did you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Raincheck.” He winked before moving to the next table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lean blonde guy sat down next. Jess struggled to remember his name. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is it rude to ask him again? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” the blond said as he sat across from her, awkwardly attempting an over the top wink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed. “Something in your eye?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why does everyone wink so much here? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the view of a beautiful woman. Heyoo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooof. Terrible,” Jess said, letting out a laugh. “I have to know, what’s a survival instructor? I still have no idea what Allegra does, I’m figuring your job out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really into climbing and somehow was able to turn it into a career. I started as a climbing instructor and would occasionally take advanced students out to big secluded climb sites.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They said they learned so much about wilderness from me that I should teach it. So I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing! I love hiking, but I’ve always been a bit terrified of rock climbing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No pressure, but if you want I can show you the ropes someday. You’d make any view a better one and if you like hiking I’m sure you’ll love it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might have to take you up on that.” She smiled taking notice of Chelsea and Tim a few tables over laughing together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good for Chelsea, they would be adorable together. But Rohan….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is exhausting. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, it was her turn to meet the winner of the competition. Dreamy, sexy, and smouldering  Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can a man be so good looking? It’s like someone painted the perfect man and then summoned him to life with a magic spell. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He smoothly sat down, smiled at Jess and she immediately forgot how to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Say something. Anything. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like soup?” she asked. Finally speaking, the most absurd words left her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never mind.” She flushed with embarrassment, fidgeting with her hands nervously. “What do you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a physiotherapist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That must mean you give the best massages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my primary duty, but I've never had any complaints.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would love to put you through your paces, you know, make sure you’re as talented as you should be.” She smiled flirtatiously. Love Island was not the place for subtlety. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Jakub arrived on the scene next, looking bold and confident. As he sat, his eyes moved down Jess’ body, assessing her, judging her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t lie, I feel like you should have made more of an effort with us new guys coming in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Isn’t it up to you guys to impress us if you want to stay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, you’re a right sort.” He pat this shortly buzzed hair as if to check if it was in place. “I always put the effort in. Can’t leave the house without ironing my shirt. Have to look my best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded along, resisting the urge to mock him as he detailed his extensive daily process.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I think he’s more high maintenance than any of the girls here. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Jakub awkwardly stuck his tongue out in an odd attempt at being sexy before moving away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim arrived back at the table looking more energized by the exhausting speed date process.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll never understand extroverts.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello again,” he said. “Isn’t this amazing? I’m having the best time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Hello to you,” she returned trying to muster a modicum of the enthusiasm he possessed. “So, anyone catching your eye?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A gentleman never tells.” He winked. “I'm sure whatever happens, it’ll be a blast. Everyone here is so fit, I can’t even handle it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true, it’s a weird environment to be in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The guys here are all used to being the only nines in a room full of sevens but here, everyone is a nine. No room for complacency. I think some egos are going to take a hit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about your ego?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mate, I have the best ego. Don’t you worry about it.” He chuckled, leaning back in his chair, barely managing to prevent himself from falling over. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim practically lept to the next table, exhilarated by the task of speed dating as Mason rejoined Jess at her table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you’re a rock star turned underwear model? And now on Love Island looking for...love?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be nice. To be honest I’ve never been in love before. But I’m optimistic, If I’m going to fall in love anywhere, why not on Love Island? I have a pretty good feeling about this place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem confident.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well, I’ve got no reason not to be.” He flexed his biceps and fixed Jess with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai quickly moved over to Mason’s empty chair. “This is exhausting. Anyway, tell me about yourself. I feel like I know you pretty well from the show.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First, I want to know how you got into pottery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I started making pottery in high school. I was always teased for being so big. I wanted to prove that being bigger didn’t mean I was a bull in a China shop. On the field I am, but in the workshop I’m careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it. I have to ask because if I don’t I’ll regret it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <b>“</b>
  <span>Is this about Lord of the Rings?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>obvious?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I’ve seen the show. I was expecting it. Have you ever been to New Zealand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I’ve wanted to for years. Someday I’ll go. It’s always been a ‘someday’ goal for me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You definitely should. I visited a lot of the filming spots a few years ago, it’s a fun time. Maybe I can show them to you some time.” He smiled at her, the smile of someone good and genuine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea how much I would love that.” She wasn’t sure if there were sparks, but Love Island was reminding her of how much kindness there was in the world. There was Allegra to offer cosmic balance, but it was reassuring to be surrounded by so many wonderful, good people.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Blonde guy plopped down, feigning exhaustion beside her. “I haven’t worked out this hard since I climbed Ben Nevis.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, wow.” Jess found herself lost for words. “I mean, it’s cool that your bi. I’m sorry, I think I was just caught off guard by the phrasing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh? What do you mean?” With a dumbfounded expression, he twirled his long blonde locks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just, you said...Ben Nevis?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the tallest mountain in the UK. I climbed it for the first time when I was sixteen, always been one of my favourites.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I thought, never mind. What do you like besides climbing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love anything outdoors, trekking, camping, water-sports - anything like that really.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking in his complexion, Jess was surprised by how much time he spent outdoors. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How can someone who spends so much time in the sun be so pale? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I’m with you there, I’m happiest when I’m outside exploring nature. I never feel more relaxed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Blond guy left. I need to find out his name. Or at least something to call him. Thor Jr? Swedish Climber guy? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucas again. Finally. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He smoothly sat down, fixing her with a smoulder was effective but looked perfectly rehearsed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, you're too smooth. How many hours have you spent perfecting that look in the mirror.” She laughed and he reciprocated with a smile, reassuring that he could handle being teased. “Give me your smoothest line. Now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really want to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Desperately?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to see some magic?” he asked, continuing to smoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Absolutely, I do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for her hands, holding them tightly, and looked deeply into her eyes as if his only purpose was to see into her soul. He smiled lightly in a way that was both dazzling and sincere. It served to mesmerize Jess. For a moment, it was as if the only thing in the world were these two people holding hands, experiencing this transformational, magical encounter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t this magical?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She recovered her sensibilities and shoved him away, laughing. “Pretty smooth. But now I want to see a magic trick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I don’t know any. That’s probably more Bobby’s territory.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is good for something.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>More than one thing actually. I wonder what the guys are up to. What are the new girls like? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas walked away, moving to the next table, shooting a wink in her direction before sitting with Priya. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so gorgeous. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Hey...HEY.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over to see Jakub snapping his fingers at her, annoyed at how distracted she was by the sexy physiotherapist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came up with a test question to see if we’re compatible. See if you’re extra enough for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this guy for real? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, say you could have one superpower, right? What would it be?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. Good question, how fun. I’d love to be able to chat with animals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm,” he replied with disinterest, not directly indicating if the answer met his approval.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She guessed not. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucas is so dreamy, and he wants to make a difference in this world. He’s perfect.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I’m ready to stop travelling and he hasn’t even gone to med school yet. How old is he? What if he doesn’t want kids.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Slow down, Jess. You literally just met the guy. Just relax.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back at Jakub, he was equally indifferent to her, gawking at Priya intensely like he was already undressing her. Jess felt the desire to shield Priya from Jakub’s creepy advances, but looking closer at Priya, she was similarly eye-fucking Lucas. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are we all super horny creepers here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As long as no one feels uncomfortable…. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank goodness, we’re done </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie called out, “text! Now that you’ve met the new guys, it’s time to send off the hold. Pack a suitcase for your partner at Casa Amor.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls rushed back into the house to pack for the guys. It was a painful reminder that they were gone, not to return so quickly that they didn’t need several days worth of clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m packing for Gary. That will be easy. He wears the same damn flannel every night with a different tee-shirt underneath. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She found only one pair of jeans in his drawer, the same tattered pair he’d been wearing all summer.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s putting a lot of pressure on that pair. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Throwing more of his clothes in the suitcase, she began to close it when Lottie approached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I put something in there?” Lottie asked </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have at it.” Jess left Lottie to the suitcase, curious as to what she would be packing for her crane operator beau but choosing to give her privacy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over, Priya was still packing Bobby’s suitcase. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That should be me. Fucking Rocco ruined everything. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok?” Lottie asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not,” Jess answered honestly. “I feel shitty about how I left things with Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ruined things like I always do. And now he’s not even here to apologize to. I wish he was here, everything would be better if I could just talk to him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don't you write a note and put it in his suitcase? I’m sure Priya won’t care” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With what? They don’t let us have a pen or paper here. It’s practically barbaric.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie shook her head and left the bedroom. Jess looked back over at Priya, who had finished packing Bobby’s suitcase. Lottie returned holding an eyeliner pen and toilet paper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, you’re a genius. Thank you.” Jess went to hug her but stopped herself remembering things weren’t entirely good with Lottie yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You owe me. And believe me when I tell you that I’m going to collect.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess quickly grabbed the pen and tp, and began writing. Carefully as the toilet paper was fragile. She paused after writing, ‘I’m sorry’. What else could she say? </span>
  <em>
    <span>I miss you. Please don’t leave me. Don’t recouple with a casa girl. I hate how I treated you yesterday. I’m scared that maybe you are right for me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is dumb. What am I doing? </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed, crumpled up her note, and threw it in the trash. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby deserves someone who won’t immediately look for excuses after having sex with him. I deserve to be with someone I see a future with. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s better for both of us if I explore my options. With Lucas or maybe Tai? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi. Noah. Bobby. He’s merely joined the list of my failed villa relationships. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just keep on swimming. And looking for that perfect fish. He’s bound to be out there.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The suitcases were off to greet the boys at Casa Amor while familiar stabbing pangs of regret shot through Jess. Pushing her feelings down, she thought of puppies and the smell of hot coffee. Little things that brought her joy, anything to distract from thinking about Bobby.  </span>
</p><p><em><span>I need to break the habit of thinking about the other guys.</span></em> <em><span>Be in this moment and enjoy it for what it is. A low-pressure chance to meet someone new. </span></em></p><p>
  <span>Scanning the boys laughing by the pool, she felt powerful. They needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>to stay here- she didn’t have to make any big moves. It was up to them to pursue and win her over.  And if they didn’t, she could just stick with Gary. Lottie would be thrilled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But how could she trust they actually liked her? She would need to play things carefully. This needed to be her choice, she wasn’t going to succumb to the guy who grafted on her the most or fall for any cheesy lines from a disingenuous tool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She fluffed her hair and assessed her look. Wearing her favourite deep blue swimsuit - favourite because of how well it amplified her breasts - she knew she looked good. With Priya around, she felt the competitive urge to choose her most flattering swimsuits. Priya didn’t make her insecure as much as encourage her to put more effort in. And that extra bit of effort was doing wonders for her confidence today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting on her best smile, she sashayed towards the guys, feeling bold and beautiful. Just then, Chelsea popped up and grabbed her arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Terrace, Jess girl. We gotta figure out the deets on the new guys,” Chelsea said, pulling her towards the terrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh. Really Chelsea? Do you realize how long it takes me to feel up for serious grafting?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the girls were already seated and strangely silent when she arrived. A cloud hung over the terrace, draping the girls in unusually serious energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that we’re all here, let’s talk,” Priya began, acting as the group moderator. “Let’s all go around and give our top two favourites. We are not leaving it up to the guys to pick us. This is lady's choice. I’ll start. Lucas and Tai.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So we’re passing out guys by committee? Why is everyone so sombre about it? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya gestured for Chelsea to continue. The blonde barked out, “Tai and Tim.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra continued, indicating her preference for Jakub and Mason before Lottie waved off the questions. “None of them.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia pondered the question carefully before answering, “Tai and Lucas. Jess, your turn?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same. Tai and Lucas. I guess we’re a little stuck. We can’t all share Tai. Or Lucas.” Jess looked over at Priya for guidance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea chirped, “Someone else can have Tai, I have a good feeling about Tim. He’s got bants to spare and I’m all about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you say you want to get in those bants?” Jess asked, holding her hand up to Priya for a high-five.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya sighed, returning Jess’ high-five. “Ok, Bobby. Anyway, for the next few days, Allegra has Jakub, Chelsea has Tim. This is tough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take Henrik,” Lottie volunteered. “He seems fun. And I’m only switching if Jess does, so it doesn’t matter who I pick. ”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oooh. That’s his name. Thor Jr is Henrik.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s way too much pressure, Lottie.” Jess tried to laugh but was stricken by the truth of her words. It was a lot of pressure to put on a person. It wasn’t fair to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, but it’s the truth. I’m crazy about Gary. I don’t blame you for being coupled up with him, but your decision affects me.” She shrugged. “It is what it is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess that’s true. Things are a mess with me and Bobby, but I don’t want Priya to couple up with someone and leave Bobby vulnerable. Rocco fucked things up for all of us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls all nodded in agreement, the recoupling had been an utter disaster for most of the girls. Now, the guys were gone, swept away to Casa Amor. Conversations left unfinished, a crack in the structure of the villa. Everything in a place of chaos. It was impossible to truly relax knowing they were close but unreachable- their absence felt in every corner of the villa.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya gestured towards Talia, “Who’s your favourite Tai or Lucas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, you can have Lucas and Jess can have Tai but I reserve the right to graft on both.” Priya looked over at Jess. “Deal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds fair,” Jess answered, wishing she had pushed stronger to be paired with Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s let the guys know,” Chelsea called out, running for the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I adore her enthusiasm,” Jess said as Chelsea bolted away. “It’s rather infectious, innit?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. I think it’s too much. Not everything is </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonderful </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>magical</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Allegra snarked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Chelsea is delightful,” Lottie said pointedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does she actually? Or is she just being contrarian with Allegra? I never get the feeling she does find Chelsea charming. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Priya said. “Now let’s go get those guys.” Running for the door, Priya seemed invigorated. All tension from a few moments earlier evaporated. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I guess all it took was settling who’s shacking up with whom. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took her time before arriving down by the pool not wanting to seem too eager. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Play it cool. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chelsea had an arm wrapped around Tim, gesturing wildly with her other hand. Presumably passing instructions along to the remaining guys.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She couldn’t wait.” Priya giggled as she grazed her hand down Mason’s bicep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai spotted Jess and approached her casually, settling in a couple of feet to her left. “I hear I’m with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid so. That ok with you?” She grinned, arching her brows - challenging him to object. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll manage.” He smiled, shifting closer to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tai and Jess. Maybe. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A text popped up on Lucas’s phone. He read it to himself, before announcing it to the group. “</span>
  <b>Lucas, as the winner of the ‘Battle of the Bods’ challenge, you can pick one girl to spend some time in the hideaway hot tub with. Choose wisely.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas seemed conflicted, looking over at Talia and biting his lip, an unsure expression fixed upon his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want to pick someone else, I don’t mind,” Talia told him, her eyes betraying the relaxed nature of her words. “I won’t be too offended.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a committed resolute look, he chose. “In that case, I would like to invite Jess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Figures,” Allegra mumbled under breath with her typical subtlety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Jess looked over at Talia who nodded in approval. “I would love to.” She gave Lucas a faint smile as he reached for her arm leading her inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should probably lead. I don’t actually know where we’re going,” he said with a grin, helping her relax after the awkwardness of his choice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Classic Jess,” Allegra called out as they left, not waiting until Jess was out of earshot to begin her jealous tantrum. “Why does everything have to be about her? She treats every-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I can hear you right?” Jess turned back with a laugh, delighting in Allegra’s pettiness and the low-level drama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t trying to hide it, babes.”  Allegra returned with her classic smirk as Jess smiled back before walking off with Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After arriving inside, she realized she had neglected to consider Tai or acknowledge him before leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another day of failing to be considerate of other people’s feelings. Another failure.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jess and Lucas entered the hideaway. She frowned at the romantic oasis tainted by memories of a night spent with Noah. At the time, she thought they were on the brink of something. Now with clear eyes, she only saw how wrong they were together. How badly she had wanted them to be right. But they weren’t. Would it be weird coming here again with someone else? Will this room always be entwined with Noah in her memory?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pushing down her fears, she continued holding on to Lucas’s hand as they stepped out onto a small terrace with a large hot tub in the corner. Tall greens covered the wall, shielding them from notice from everyone but the cameras posted in the corners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is so lush, I’ve been to the hideaway, but never made it out here.” Jess sighed taking in all the plants that filled the area. “I love how private this is.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mostly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He poured a glass of champagne for each before settling into the hot tub. “I’m already craving privacy. This is just-” He rubbed the back of his neck, his arm flexing slightly. “Well ridiculous. How do you get used to the cameras? And wearing a swimsuit all the time?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still not used to it. It’s an insane way to live. Sometimes I get excited to change into a dress for dinner. It’s bizarre being in vacation mode all the time. And having to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the cameras.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully I’ll be around long enough to get used to it.” He took a sip of champagne, casting a thoughtful look her way. “I have a question I like to ask on first dates. When you picture your partner where do you see them? Like at a fancy party? In bed? Or climbing a mountain?” He pierced her with a mischievous gaze as if he was asking a trick question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want to know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m curious, it’s a compatibility question I heard from a friend.” He continued to watch her carefully.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting question. I would say…my kitchen at home. I’m not home much these days, but I’m hoping to change that. Sitting on the counter while my partner cooks, laughing, talking about our day. That’s the dream,” she answered, thinking how much she craved that feeling. She could see it so clearly, everything except her partner.  Stealing a quick kiss while waiting for the water to boil on the stove. Being happy merely spending time together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t be doing the cooking?” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk fixed upon his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He knows exactly what he’s doing. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sexist much? Besides, it's my fantasy. I don’t mind cooking, but I think someone cooking for you is sexy.” She took a long sip of champagne, savouring the crisp taste. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So is your type more Bobby or Jake?” He paused before letting out a small chuckle. “I guess I don’t need to ask actually.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby. He hadn’t even cooked for me yet. I never gave him the chance. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn't sure how much has been shown. I uh. I don't think things are going to go anywhere though. We fought before he left and landed on being just friends. I think it’s for the best. I’m at least not committed or anything,” she said, hoping he would get the message. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m single. Single and I like you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good to know. So, I have a chance.” His eyes burned into hers, leaving her flustered and intrigued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do, Dr.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, you can’t call me that.” He laughed. “I could get sued for advertising myself as a doctor. Someday though, I’m planning to go back to school so I can join Doctors without Borders.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me all over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. That’s such a Rocco line.” She cringed, unable to stifle a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except, I’m genuine. I want to do some good in this world, I’m sure that’s something you understand.” He puffed up his chest with pride. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Another do-gooder. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was true, they were connected by their idealistic dreams. Except, he was beginning his journey and she felt hopelessly drained after years working in the field. Like all the work she had done was pointless. Her work was important but the bureaucracy stifled her and left her cynical and empty. In a perpetual state of ennui.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never said, where do you picture your partner?” she asked, wanting to redirect the conversation away from her disappointing career. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll keep that to myself for now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not fair,” she whined, giggling in spite of herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I need to hang on to a little bit of mystery, don’t I? I can’t say I’m surprised things didn’t work out for you and Bobby. He doesn’t seem like your type.  You’re an interesting, beautiful woman and he’s-” He paused, considering his words, “- like an overgrown man child. Serious Peter Pan vibes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair. You don’t even know him.” Jess sulked back in the tub, a defensive fire bubbling up in her. “He’s just trying to add some levity to things. You’ve been here a day, you have no idea how dull it is here at times. And who are you to criticize him? Posh snob with too much hair gel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas touched his hair defensively. “I’m sorry, you’re right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she internally criticized Bobby, he was her Bobby. She couldn’t abide anyone saying anything negative about him. But could she hold it against Lucas for articulating thoughts she herself had? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I snapped, I just. He’s a great guy, and he deserves better than...Well you and me insulting him. You’re right, Bobby is so extra they named a gum after him. He tries too hard to be funny, sometimes acts like a child, dresses like a mess, I could go on.” Jess laughed before continuing. “But he’s also kind and sweet, he’s supportive and fun. He has a ton of great qualities.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But wouldn’t you be embarrassed to be seen in public with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe? Probably. I don’t know. Does it even matter now?” She shrugged, trying not to dwell on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope not. Back to you,” he said, pouring her another glass of champagne. “What do you do for fun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love hiking, long walks, medium effort adventures. I tend to read a lot, especially when travelling. What about you? What’s your idea of an adventure?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me, that’s trooping around the city looking for an exclusive pop-up restaurant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a lot of work for a meal. I’m more of a picnic gal, I don’t like expensive places.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t, having experienced far too many of them during her college years thanks to a boyfriend with wealthy parents.  Expensive places were stuffy and pretentious. The food was usually incredible, but the atmosphere- it was stifling, being trapped in a place she didn’t belong. There was nothing more discouraging than the dismissive gaze of a wealthy woman judging her as unworthy of entry into her stratosphere. It was always the same. Looking you down, from head to toe, assessing every element of your look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, she learned to laugh it off, but life was more fun simply avoiding places like that. Exclusivity is overrated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Um. ...yeah me either.” Lucas turned a little pink, taking a long sip of champagne. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He seems embarrassed by how posh he is. It’s adorable and probably the most interesting thing about him. I wonder what his relationship with his parents is like. Do girls pretend to like him for his money? With those looks, probably not. Is Love Island his way of rebelling against his family? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him, for the first time truly interested in him as a person. Giving him an assessing gaze, she noticed his tattoo.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if that was his teenage rebellion. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really into motorbikes and need to let everyone know it?” She gestured to his tattoo, a large motorbike design on his right arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha true. I know it’s a bit much. I don’t know why I didn’t mention that instead of restaurants. I also used to row competitively, still do occasionally for fun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those are both way more impressive than the restaurant thing. Should have led with that.” Jess winked at him, hoping to ease him into trusting her. “How did you get into motorbikes?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a funny story. I was on a date with this girl, and when we walked back to my car there was this motorbike parked next to me and she thought it was mine. I made up an excuse about not having a helmet and then pretended to have one until we broke up. It was absurd, something right out of a sitcom. And then it was like. Why not get one?  It’s sort of my version of YOLO. Reminds myself to get outside my comfort zone. Never thought of myself as a motorbike enthusiast, but I took to it. Now, it’s one of my favourite things. Taking a long ride, I feel free. Are you into it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be honest, no. I’ve always been a bit afraid of them. I was dating this guy casually for a bit right after college and he picked me up on a motorbike after I told him I wasn’t ready yet. I was wearing a dress, and it was a sign to cancel the date. I think I would have to truly trust someone to ride with them. And he tried to push me into it. He wasn’t that guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After this summer, maybe I could take you for a ride. Or not. Ah. I mean. Who knows how things will work out?” He blushed, giving her satisfaction in how nervous he was around her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s not even trying to look hot. He just is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was adorable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m normally confident, I feel very off my game around you.” He shook his head, looking frustrated at himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good, I hate games,” she said, drawing his eyes to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know this whole thing is a game, right?” He gestured to the camera planted in the corner. The camera capturing their intimate moments and sharing it with the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do and I hate it. Mostly.” She laughed at the absurd direction her life had taken. It wasn’t something she liked to dwell on, it was easy to ignore the cameras most of the time. Thinking about it too much made her feel awkward and silly. And exposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This place is amazing, I can’t get over being here. I know it sounds weird, but the villa is so much bigger than I thought it would be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, that’s not weird. I thought the same thing when I got here.”  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Two weeks ago. So much has happened in such a short time, I can’t imagine what life will be like here in six weeks when we leave. If I’m still here….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good. I normally watch it on my phone and because it’s a small screen, I thought everything here was really small too.” He averted his eyes, looking rightfully embarrassed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, that is pretty weird.” She laughed, holding her tongue. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. Lucas is dumb. Coasting through life with his good looks and charm. I wonder if anyone’s ever told him. Or do they let him happily live in that beautiful person bubble? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She moved closer to him, kissing him on the cheek as he enveloped his arms around her. She felt comforted by his smooth skin and expensive smelling aftershave. </span>
  <em>
    <span>At least if we have kids and they take after him, we could afford a tutor. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After her date with Lucas, they rejoined the other islanders downstairs. The girls were lounging by the pool while the guys had taken over the gym. The villa looked the same, but it felt different.  Like they were thrown into an alternate universe and their boys were replaced with equally sexy doppelgangers. A territorial feeling came over Jess on behalf of the original guys of the villa. A part of her resented them for working out, being here in a place meant for their guys.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m jealous of the guys, it would be easier to crack on in a new place. I can practically see Gary complaining about Tai lifting weights at ‘his’ bench.  Their spirits lingering as if to say ‘Don’t forget about us.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it a bizarre version of nostalgia? I even miss Noah a bit. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder what the new girls they’re with are like. Are they prettier or smarter than us? Who will stay loyal? Will some of us have to leave if they aren’t? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a reminder that this place didn’t belong to any of them. It was a revolving door of fit islanders. None of them really belonged there. Look what happened to Rahim. Any of them could be dumped, sent home in a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would she see Rahim after leaving the villa? Maybe for the reunion? But maybe not. Would she see Bobby again if either were dumped from the villa? Her chest ached, fearing that the answer could be no. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is what I wanted. I need to stop letting myself get stuck on a guy. Things didn’t work with Bobby, I need to move on.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But what if I don’t want to? The everlasting battle between my gut, heart, and head rages on. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Dinner was quiet, as usual. Anything interesting needed to be saved for when the cameras could roll, it was easier for everyone to stay silent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled the girls away to the fire pit to chat about the situation. Talia technically had a claim to Lucas, but there was something between them. She hoped the other girl wouldn’t mind trading. They were people, not possessions. Talia didn’t literally have a claim on him. They weren’t even officially coupled up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the guys gone, a strong bond emerged between the girls. She didn’t want to jeopardize it so soon by becoming territorial over the new guys. Jess even felt a strange attachment to Allegra. She may be a horrible snake, but she was the villa snake. A frenemy to the end. Or at least to the end of her time in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. So. How’s everyone feeling about their guys?” Jess asked, testing the waters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So happy,” Chelsea squealed. “Tim is so much fun, we’ve been having the best day. He’s teaching me to rap.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So much for Rohan.” Allegra rolled her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shove it, Leggy. She’s just having a good time,” Lottie defended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you?” Jess directed to her prospective partner's actual partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want to know?” Talia challenged, with a look of staged confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if there were any sparks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me and Lucas? Sparks galore. More sparks than I can handle,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're going to make me say it, aren't you?” Jess groaned, stomping lightly on the ground matching Talia’s overdramatic teasing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. I like Lucas. Would you mind trading?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia paused for longer than the question warranted, dragging it out for an eternity before finally answering. “Sure. Tai is fit. And if there was anything between me and Lucas, he would have picked me. I refuse to be any guy’s second choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Talia.” Jess went to pull the girl in for a hug. “You’re the best.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Talia replied, reciprocating the hug and rubbing Jess’s back gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OMG, that’s so cute. Look at us. We’re all growing up, working through stuff as a squad of cool girls. I love us.” Chelsea joined the hug, encouraging the rest of the girls to join in.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that we’ve settled the Lucas thing, can we talk about Casa Amor?” Jess asked as the group hug came to an end. “Is anyone else starting to freak out about our guys and the new girls?” Jess wanted to downplay how nervous she truly was, but knew she was failing. Her eyes had to be giving her away. The thought of Bobby with someone new was sending her stomach into chaos.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure they’re up to no good,” Lottie said. “They need to snag one of our guys if they’re going to get to come back to the villa and I’m sure they will stop at nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. New girls. Blah. They’d better stay away from Rohan.” Chelsea stomped her feet, an adorable pout displayed on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously Chelsea, I saw you snogging Tim in the pool earlier,” Allegra pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what? It’s just a snog. I’m not keeping him. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. But I’m a good thing. Rohan better appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you worried about Jake switching?” Allegra asked. “He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one you’re coupled up with. If he swaps and you don’t, you’re screwed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake? Pfft. He won’t switch. Priya and I have the most reliable fellas in the villa. We are safe as houses.” Chelsea looked away, lost momentarily in thought. “What does that mean? Are houses safe? My aunt Sally had her house broke-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chels, can we stick to the topic at hand? Yeah, you’re safe. Jake and Bobby would never leave any of us vulnerable. But if either of you switch, they could be dumped.” Jess couldn’t hide how panicked she felt. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby can’t go home. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rohan better swap then, because I’m absolutely trading up. These guys are fit and I’m bringing one home.” Allegra ran her finger through her hair, twirling it with a glimmer of a smile. “The only question is ‘which one’ to choose.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck the other guys. You think they’re thinking about us? Probably already getting their dicks wet with the new girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya stepped in, waving her arms to draw attention to herself. “Cool it, everyone. Jeeze. They just got here, no one should be making these decisions yet. Or worrying. We are all going to make a tough decision in the next few days. Let’s have a ton of fun before we do!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What time is it?” Chelsea called out. “Gin Time. Gin Time.” She began a chant. When no one jumped in with her, she switched chants. “Girls, girls, girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A reluctant group sigh took hold before the rest of the girls joined in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girls, girls, girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gin. Gin. Gin.” Jess began to chant until she was the only one speaking. “Sorry, I could use some gin right now,” she admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m never wrong about ginny gin time.” Chelsea ran towards the bar, a gin-driven spark in her step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The remaining girls followed while Jess felt invigorated by their conversation. Talia had been supportive, her fears of being the villa man-stealer squelched by Talia’s laid back attitude. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the kitchen, Tai and Henrik were involved in an animated discussion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, dude. You’ve got to come to Waitomo with me sometime. The rapids below, climbing through chasms. It's such a thrill. And your reward is glow worm caves,” Tai said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuck. Worms?” Chelsea cringed. “Risking your life to see some dumb worms seems silly.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s worth it, Chelsea. I promise.” He smiled warmly at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you say so.” She returned his smile affectionately. “I do like things that glow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you taking Chelsea or Henrik?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai laughed. “To be honest, you’re both my type. So either. Or both?” He winked their direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henrik chuckled. “I’m flattered.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But not interested?” Tai asked as Henrik nodded. “Never hurts to ask if you fancy someone. The worst thing they can say is no.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth. Gotta shoot your shot,” Mason said having appeared almost supernaturally in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henrik nodded.“I wish I had your confidence, mate. I never notice when girls are into me. I like to be direct and honest, but I’m terrible at reading people. I can never tell if they want me to make a move or not.” He cast his eyes toward the floor, blushing slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Adorable.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” Allegra groaned. “Why is it always up to us to make a move? I want a man to take me. Know what I want and give it to me. Guys are so passive these days.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rolled her eyes at Allegra’s outdated romantic sensibilities. “I think guys today are generally more respectful. Which I like. I’m not into the aggressive type. They tend to be more possessive and jealous. My high school boyfriend was like that. He used to have meltdowns when I spent time with my best friend and her boyfriend. Even though my friend was always there, he was convinced the guy was hitting on me. It was awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s horrible.” Lottie frowned. “Did you give him the boot? I would have, fuckin’ tool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, uh...I stopped hanging out with my friend,” Jess quietly spoke.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I sacrificed a friendship with one of my oldest friends because an ex seemed that important. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She wondered what had come of Lauren. She spotted her on a mutual friend’s facebook page a few years back. Hovering at the ‘add friend’ button for minutes before clicking away and burying the guilt and regret deep into the recesses of her vault. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas, Tim, and Jakub approached, thankfully diverting the group's attention from Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Timmy Smalls in the house.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas irritably rolled his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tim is clearly a bit much for him. Maybe me too?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many nicknames do you have? And has anyone but you ever used them?” Jess asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim put his finger to his lips and blew lightly. “It’s a secret,” he yelled loudly, as the group reacted with scattered laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A silence lingered awkwardly over the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas, how do you tell when a girl likes you?” Henrik asked, breaking the silence and returning the conversation to the previous topic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone’s into me.” Lucas shrugged before laughing at his own arrogance. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I like that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Maybe there is more to him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same, bro. I flash this smile and the girls come running.” Tim jumped in. “Can’t resist these guns.” He kissed his bicep, before wrapping an arm around Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, get over yourself.” Chelsea pushed him away, laughing before moving back against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously though, I’m fairly particular about the women I date. I worry more about if I like them,” Lucas said, winking at Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Jakub agreed. “I have to make sure the bird I pick is as fit and orderly as me. I once went on a date with this chick and she showed up in a white dress, not properly pressed, ordered paskghetti”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my goodness, he pronounces spaghetti like a child. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“-and proceeded to make a mess of her face and dress. It was disgusting. I dipped out the second she left for the loo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, so you just left?” Talia raised her eye. “Did you at least pay for your meal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She asked me out, and after that display, I would say I deserved a free meal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More like a kick in the balls,” Lottie sniped to nods of agreements from others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know my worth, it’s not my problem she wasn’t in my lane.” Jakub shrugged without a trace of remorse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked annoyed and ready to pop off at the bodybuilding creep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Totally right, babe,”  Allegra purred at Jakub, running a finger down his arm. “You’re the total package.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like to think everyone’s the total package. We’re all wandering around looking for that box that goes with ours.” Chelsea sighed, reaching for Tim’s hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s sweet Chels.” Jess smiled at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweet like sugar pie,” Tim agreed, kissing her on the side of her head affectionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really dude? I’m going to throw you in the pool again unless you chill out on that cheese,” Mason said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you two are adorable. Please don’t ever change.” Jess smiled at Chelsea, happy that she found someone that seemed to get her. “And don’t throw people in the pool. Consent, Mason. Learn it.” She winked at Mason hoping he wouldn't take her gentle teasing too seriously. But maybe seriously enough to tone down his bullying tendencies. It didn't take a psych major to tell that Mason had been a popular jock in high school, right down to pushing nerds in lockers. And Tim was Love Island’s version of a nerd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe I was promised gin.” Priya directed to Chelsea. “Where’s our gin?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sick of gin, you lot drink like you’re fifty,” Lottie grumbled “I’ll make up a batch of drinks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You? What about me? I’m a cocktail entrepreneur,” Allegra pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl, I still don’t know what is. Do you sell drinks? Make drinks? Advertise drinks?” Chelsea whirled her arms in the air in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t understand it,” Allegra deflected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually used to bartend a few years back in Australia. I have a knack for it. Rocco and I were chatting about it a bit.” She paused. “Fucking Rocco.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie proceeded to make a batch of Love Island Iced Teas for the group, arguing that “If we can only have one drink, let’s make it count.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea was satisfied that gin was one of the many alcohols involved.  In their time in the villa, Jess had only seen her consume water, prosecco, and gin-based drinks. Lucas insisted on breaking out the whiskey, having discovered a bottle hidden behind the cereal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The result was a fun night of bonding with the new arrivals. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was exhausted by the day, quickly getting ready for a much needed night of rest. Settling into her bed, she assessed the rest of the girls. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How many beds do we have? Do I have to share? Will everyone sleep with their new partners? Would it be weird to ask Lucas to sleep outside? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie grabbed her pillow and swiftly marched outside, presumably to sleep on the daybed. Loyal Lottie it is. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Technically, I have no one to stay loyal to. What if Bobby feels the same? Is he sharing a bed with a new girl in this new place, realizing he likes someone more than me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas approached her bed, nervously fiddling with the bottom of his white tank top. “Uh. I was wondering, I don’t have a designated bed, uh. Would you mind sharing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pondered the question for only a moment before pulling back the comforter to allow Lucas to join her. He shyly smiled in response, laying next to her, gazing deeply into her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s got this smouldering thing down to a fine art. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck it, she grabbed Lucas’s face with her hands, pulling him in for a kiss. He tensed in surprise before eagerly returning her kiss. Tasting of whiskey, his tongue met hers and she heard a moan escape her mouth as she relaxed into him. He pressed his body closer against hers and she breathed him in, catching the faintest hint of patchouli and cedarwood on his skin. She could feel herself being consumed by his touch as he gently bit her lip. As quickly as she kissed him, she pulled away, shifting away to her side of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bet the other boys won’t kiss you that way.” He smirked, the smugness radiating from him, practically ruining the moment for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was nice,” she said, feeling dizzy from the intensity of his kiss, but needing his ego to be unaware of this fact. He was far too used to girls falling at his feet, won over by his smooth lines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice, I usually set my bar a little higher than nice. Guess I need to work harder to impress you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will.” She scanned the bedroom, looking for signs anyone spotted them. Tim and Chelsea were both talking, each attempting to tell a story about hamsters. Talia and Tai were spooning on their bed. Guess he was fine with swapping partners. From one bed, sheets covered the rustling of bodies as one lucky couple really hit it off. Priya, Mason, and Henrik were MIA. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yuck, it has to be Allegra and Jakub. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Was Bobby moving as quickly with a new girl in the villa? Did she have the right to be upset about it after kissing Lucas? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was he falling asleep missing her? How can we be over when I never gave us a chance? </span>
  <em>
    <span>I miss him, and I’m nostalgic for things I never experienced. Falling asleep in his arms. Making dinner in my apartment. Kissing in the rain. Arguing over paint colours. Hosting a dinner party with the friends they’d met here. </span>
  </em>
  <span>A fantasy life she ruined before letting it become reality, giving it the chance to disappoint her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights went out and darkness reigned, coaxing Jess to sleep. ‘Turn off your brain’ it said. ‘Worry tomorrow.’</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Waking up next to Lucas was a strange feeling, as if her gut knew it wasn't where she should be. Jess watched him sleep, taking in every detail of his perfect form. Something she could only do while he was unaware, vulnerable. His hair was a mess, unusual for Lucas as it normally stuck straight up in the air. It had to be saturated with more product than she’d used in a lifetime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d experienced high maintenance men in the past, often stuck waiting while they figured out their hair and selected the ideal outfit. Which was fine, as long as they weren’t running late. They demanded perfection of themselves. The problem was when they expected it from their partner. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope Lucas isn’t like that. Never will I be that person, agonizing over an outfit. I may be type-A, but I’m a casual type-A. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had planned to sleep in and relax to her fullest potential in the villa, but most days she popped up ready to start the day. Or woke up before the sun and failed to fall back asleep. Today, she felt shackled to the bed. All motivation sapped away, her body overwhelmed by the mental stress she had been pushing on it. Yesterday was fun, but now the new guys were still here. The girls were trapped in relationship limbo- coupled up with friends but sleeping with strangers, wondering what the guys they actually liked were up to. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Soon she would start asking herself the question. Should I keep Lucas here? She liked him, but her gut was screaming no. Like Noah, she didn’t know if she liked him enough.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gazing at him sleeping next to her, lying on his side away from her, he looked like a beautiful stranger. Maybe she could love him? But if she never saw him again, would it matter to her at all? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights popped on, blinding her in surprise and eliciting a handful of groans in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was beginning to stir, Jess jumped out of bed in response, quickly moving to the bathroom. She wasn't ready for a cosy morning snog with Lucas, it felt too soon, too intimate. Maybe tomorrow. How many days would the guys be at Casa Amor? Racking her brain, she couldn’t quite remember. Three or four? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was too long. How could they be expected to have fun not knowing what was happening over there? Were they thinking of us too? Or blissfully enjoying the attention of new, prettier girls?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have sent Bobby that note. Even if it just said ‘I’m sorry’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That was something, any kind of communication that would remind him of her, let him know that he was still in her thoughts. Even if it was only a fraction of what she was feeling.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sleepwalked through the morning, smiling and laughing, nodding and frowning at the appropriate times, but never truly present. Her mind was trapped, trying to work her way through the puzzle in her head. It was like an escape room, she needed to figure out the clues and solve the puzzle, and then she would be free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, she couldn’t see the whole room. How could she solve it by only seeing a portion of things? She hated escape rooms in real life as well. Stressful, never as much fun as promised as friends snipped at each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening to Chelsea ramble about paint colours, it was easy to zone out. Chelsea had a tendency to speak ad nauseam about a topic only she was interested in. Her special skill was that no one seemed to mind, she charmed rather than irritated the group. There was something inherently likeable about her. Being mean to Chelsea felt like kicking a sweet adorable puppy. Who could do something like that? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai suddenly yelled out, “I got a text.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Slow down, girl. You gotta wait for all of us,” Chelsea called out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time, Jess was excited for those words and practically lept over Chelsea. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A distraction. Maybe a challenge! Has it come to this? My head is so fucked that I’m excited for a challenge? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As the group surrounded Tai, he read the message aloud. “Islanders This afternoon the villa and Casa Amor will go head to head in a number of cheeky challenges. The villa that completes each challenge in the quickest time will receive a point and the one that has the most points at the end will win a party tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, that sounds fun,” Priya cooed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She caught Lucas watching her and winked at him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He looks good, I may as well enjoy the day. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Going to focus on Fun. Fun. Fun Fun. It starts to lose meaning after a bit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok Islanders,” Tai yelled as everyone arrived at the challenge stage. “We’re going head to head against the other islanders. Our time will start when the first text is sent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra’s phone went off. “Two islanders must kiss underwater. Hurry, someone. Not me. I do not kiss in chlorine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia grabbed Tai’s hand and they ran for the pool, plunging in and kissing below the surface. They popped up wet and giggling before returning to the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess received a text and read the next message. “One girl must plant twenty lipstick kisses on a boy.” She paused, “I don’t want to do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No worries, I got this.” Chelsea grabbed Tim’s hand, running inside to find lipstick. They returned a few minutes later with Tim covered in red lipstick marks, a huge grin spread across his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks like you managed more than twenty,” Lottie smirked, casting her eyes down Tim’s kissed up body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I maybe got a little carried away.” Chelsea winked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They frantically rushed from challenge to challenge, the urgency of the challenge meant none of the kisses were romantic and the sexual acts were funny rather than sexy. The chaotic energy added some needed fun to the villa, there was minimal discussion or thoughts as they laughed and yelled out instructions to each other.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess kissed Tim, as they were the shortest in the villa. Mason sucked tequila out of Priya’s belly button. The oldest islanders, Priya and Tai, had to snog for five seconds followed by everyone getting into a sex position with someone of the opposite sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sprinted over to Lucas, pushing him to the ground and climbing on top of him. “Cow Girl.” She smiled, winking at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t particularly competitive, but this was fun. Their opponents were a few miles away so it felt more cooperative than an antagonistic challenge. She held out her hand pulling him up. Glancing at the others, Allegra and Jakub were enacting something adventurous, Allegra laying on her back with her legs pulled towards her head as Jakub squatted, pushing himself against her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What even is that?” Chelsea asked after pushing off Tim who was still mimicking doggy style as he fell to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, Chelsea. Don’t you know anything? Butter churner, babe,” Allegra answered with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is she just trying to show off how flexible she is? If so, it’s working. I’m impressed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
  <span>Next up,” Lucas called out, struggling to get the group’s attention. “Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie and Henrik were in hysterics laying on the ground after whatever sex act they had performed, while Priya and Mason were still entwined, putting on a show for Tai and Talia who looked entranced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea whistled loudly until all eyes were on her. “Text. Lucas, read it now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One person must jump in the pool naked,” he said hesitantly, looking around for someone to volunteer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm on it.” Jess found herself saying, propelled into action by the joyful atmosphere. She ran for the pool and began unfastening her swimsuit.  Struggling slightly through the exhilaration and fumbling with the strap, She felt warm hands on her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I help?” Lucas asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all. But hurry. And close your eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once her top was off, she quickly removed her bottoms. Lucas shielded her from the group and she jumped into the water to the cheers from the group. Their support felt like everything to her. It made her feel powerful like she could do anything if they believed in her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hitting the water, her body relaxed at its touch. Embracing the cold, refreshing water against her skin.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what I expected. To feel reborn or reinvigorated, cleansed of my sins by the sparkling water of the infinity pool? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt a different kind of change within her. A small change. Maybe becoming a little bolder, a tinge braver. Similar to the act of coming to Love Island, she went out of her comfort zone and did something different. She smiled to herself, proud of that silly little accomplishment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas, throw me my suit,” she called holding out her hand, with the other covering her breasts. She was underwater but wanted a semblance of modesty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood facing the other direction and threw the suit over his shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A gentleman. I like that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It hit the surface gently, water seeping into the dry suit. She awkwardly put on her swimsuit while in the pool and ran to the others. Lottie and Allegra were in the midst of some sort of disagreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I refuse to kiss Lucas, sorry Lucas,” Lottie said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Jakub isn’t kissing Jess. That’s final.” Allegra shrugged, defiantly staring down Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the challenge?” Jess asked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A girl and boy whose name's are linked alphabetically must snog for five seconds.” Mason reread the text from his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We're arguing about this?” She raised an eyebrow. “Talia and Tai, why aren't you snogging?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. Fuck.” Talia pulled Tai in for a snog, lasting far longer than five seconds. After pulling away, she shook her head. “Sorry, those two started arguing immediately.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s phone beeped. “And we’re done. That was the last task.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did we win?” Jess asked, running for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like your energy today. But they didn’t say. We’ll have to wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blah, I’m going to jump in the pool again.” Jess ran for it, cannonballing in. Swimming laps was the perfect distraction to keep from returning to the mess inside her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucas or Bobby?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Choosing Lucas felt like embracing the unknown and that scared her. With Noah and Levi, she knew what she was getting. Each a puzzle easily figured out. 500 pieces max. With Lucas, she wasn’t sure. Was he an arrogant pretty boy? Rich snob? Shy and sensual? All of these things or none of them? He was complications wrapped up in gorgeous wrapping. Did she like him enough to want to figure him out? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would Bobby think if she brought him back? The thought of seeing that disappointed broken look on his face was almost enough to make the decision for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t get those amber eyes out of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All worries fell away as she quickly drifted through the water. She could hear Tim’s laughter as a body hit the pool. She didn’t need to look to know that Mason had tossed Tim in again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lap after lap, Jess swam. Focusing only on the task, each time trying to reach the other side faster. It was a simple manageable goal, and every time she got a buzz of tiny satisfaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhhhhhh!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrieking carried through the Villa, Jess hoisted herself out of the pool, heading towards a screaming Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We won. We won. We get a party,” she squealed, jumping into Tim’s arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aces,” Tim said, hugging back an enthusiastic Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A party. That does sound nice. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to find everyone else.” Chelsea brought her feet back to the floor, pushing Tim away and running inside to alert the rest of the group. There would be no missing Chelsea’s party alarm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scanning the villa, she spotted Mason at the pool and Lucas at the gym, but everyone else was missing. Jess walked towards Lucas. He was lying on the weight bench in the midst of reps. He looked drained as if he had been at it for hours. Sweat glistening on his chest. She resisted the urge to fantasize and shook off all dirty thoughts as she approached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you supposed to have a spotter?” she asked playfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems like I have one now,” he said with a wink, continuing with a few last reps before carefully setting them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled himself, wiping the sweat off his brow with a towel before cleaning off the bench.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at you, so responsible,” Jess teased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I hope to stay, have to be on my best behaviour.” He smouldered, confidently tossing the towel over his shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm. Well, whatever you’re doing is working for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your opinion means the most, so I’m happy about that.” He walked towards her, grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her with a surprising amount of passion for someone exhausted from a workout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gently pulling away, he tucked fallen hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek in his hand. “You're so beautiful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s such a cliche, but he pulls it off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So are you, but your ego might explode if I tell you that often.” She giggled, tapping his chest lightly with her hand before moving away from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll savour this moment then.” He smouldered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can think of a few more things you can savour.” Jess moved towards him drawing his lips to hers. His heart beat rapidly, probably from his workout but she wanted to pretend that it was because of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to bundle you up and keep your forever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But not in a way that’s weird. Consensual bundling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't know about forever, but maybe for the summer.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Lucas snogged a bit before joining the others, most of the group lounging on the day beds together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she approached, she could hear the enthusiastic beatboxing coming from Chelsea as Tim rapped beside her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the islanders are chilling in the sun. Big T just hanging out with everyone. Nobody’s stressing, everything’s cool. Mason won’t throw big T in the pool.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take it little C.” He gestured over to Chelsea, flopping down on the bed next to Mason. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea bit her lip nervously, but excitement shone in her eyes. “I got mugs. Rugs. But I really want some pugs. It’s gin o’clock baby, time to rock.” She bounced in rhythm as she rapped to the cheers of the group.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Today is the best day.” Priya sighed, leaning back against the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A phone beeped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you say that?” Lottie fixed Priya with a hard glare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me,” Allegra called reaching for her phone. “Weird. It’s just a video.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt her breath stop. What kind of video? The guys? The girls swarmed Allegra on the daybed, pushing the new fellas out of their way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll give you some privacy,” Mason said, pulling Tim away as he craned his neck to get a look at the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, they’re gone. Play it,” Jess said nervously, a knot in her gut fearing what they would see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls exchanged a worried look before Allegra hit play. Jess held her breath, terrified to see what Bobby was up to and who he might be up to things with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan appeared first, he was holding a blonde girl with short, partially shaved hair by the legs as she walked across the floor. “You’re a natural” He grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake kissed a woman with dark skin and micro braids. Cheers from the rest of the guys could be heard in the distance. Definitely part of a challenge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In what couldn't be a challenge, Rocco groped and kissed a woman on the daybeds. Even without the pink dyed hair, she resembled his current partner in far too many ways to be considered subtle.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No Bobby so far, that’s good.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to glance at Lottie, but couldn’t tear her eyes from the screen, needing to see what was next. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A short tan woman with bright red painted lips and glasses was shown next, running her hand up Gary's bicep while he grinned cheekily.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lottie is not going to be happy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby. On the daybed at night. “She said to crack on, but I’m not feeling it. I just want her back.” He smiled sadly and the video ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relief washed through her. Bobby wasn’t cracking on. He was staying loyal. She didn’t realize how badly she needed to know that, and needed him until seeing this. He was genuine, they were something real. She’d been an idiot to think otherwise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was grateful that the moment of clarity came late rather than not at all. She turned to the rest of the girls and noticed Lottie looking like she’d seen a ghost. Instead of the righteous anger Jess had expected, Lottie was pale, a broken expression on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok?” Jess put her hand on Lottie’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to sit,” Lottie said flatly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You already are,” Chelsea pointed out, gesturing to the daybed the girls were situated on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t feel like it.” She sighed softly, curling up into a ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Priya asked. “I know it looks bad, but he was probably just enjoying the attention. They’re trying to fuck with us. If anything more had happened, they would have shown it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priya’s right. You know Gary, he’s loyal. What would his nan say if he cheated?” Jess agreed, wanting to reach out to Lottie, but forcing herself to stay still. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true, I trust Gary.” Lottie nodded sharply as if on a mission to regain her composure. “But they brought Marisol in. Just to screw with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s Marisol?” Talia asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was my friend, my best friend. I don’t want to talk about it.” Lottie pulled herself off the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, poor Lottie. They brought in the friend that stole her boyfriend. How awful for her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie began to pace back and forth, her shock receding as anger took over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell Gary? He has to know who she is. Why is he smiling like that at her? And Rocco? He screwed us all over at that recoupling and now he’s snogging a new girl. Some knockoff version of me. What a piece of shit. I just can’t get over these guys. They’re gone for five seconds and already cracking on with new girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate to say I told you so. But I did. If any of you have any sense, you'll recouple.” Allegra raised her hands in a way that said ‘I told you so’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Allegra, cool it,” Talia said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m looking out for you girls. I know I can be a bit-” She paused, carefully choosing her words. “Much sometimes. But I care about you lot. I don’t want any of you to go home because you picked the wrong guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s actually very sweet, Allegra.” Priya smiled at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie rolled her eyes in response, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips, giving Jess hope for reconciliation between the former friends. When Jess first arrived, they were close, having bonded quickly but it fell apart before a true friendship could take hold. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just like it’s not too late for Bobby and me. He’s staying loyal, I need to do the same for him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe Rohan?” Chelsea asked with a stomp. “He promised to teach me how to do handstands and now he’s fawning all over some new girl. I expected better of him than sticking it on the first girl he met.” She threw a pillow on the ground, before picking it up only to throw it down again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chels, I adore you but aren’t you bringing back Tim anyway? We should want Rohan to switch.  If you switch and he doesn’t, he could get dumped,” Jess explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jessy girl, Rohan’s coupled up with Allegra, not me. Did you forget to have breakfast? I sometimes forget things when I skip breakfast.” Chelsea rambled on about the importance of starting the day right. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That was dumb of me, but it is a confusing situation. Allegra is with Rohan but is sleeping with Jakub. Chelsea is coupled up with Jake but wants to be with Rohan. And Tim. Talia is coupled up with Noah, does she like him? I’m not sure. She’s snogging Tai like she doesn’t fancy Noah. I’m with Gary but I like Bobby and there’s something happening with me and Lucas. Priya and Bobby are coupled up, but thankfully she isn't into him. Or Mason.  But maybe Lucas?  Lottie is technically with Rocco but has a thing going on with Gary. What a mess. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Jess interrupted Chelsea’s tangent about boiling eggs. “I have a strong intuition that Allegra is switching.” She looked to a nodding Allegra for confirmation. “Last year anyone who ended up single was dumped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know yet.” Chelsea plopped down face first on the bed. After a few moments, she turned over, placing her head in Priya’s lap. “I like Tim, but I like Rohan too. I dunno what to do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you and Tim might be too similar? You are both pretty extra. That was your problem with Bobby right?” Jess asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” A look of confusion appeared on Chelsea’s face, followed by a laugh. “No, I think I said that, but that wasn’t really it. I mean….You were our problem. I thought you knew that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Duh. Things were good with us for like a day. I don’t know what happened with you, but it was like a switch got flipped. He liked me, and then he didn’t. He tried, but I could tell his heart wasn’t in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that have to do with me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so dumb, he stopped liking me when he started liking you. It was totes obvious that he was crushing on you. We all knew that didn’t we?” Chelsea turned to the group for agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be honest, I thought he liked Priya.” Lottie shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? I don’t think so.” Priya laughed. “Unless he’s been subtle about it. And Bobby isn’t subtle.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s for sure. He’s constantly looking at you. It’s absurd,” Allegra added, looking at Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, averting her eyes from Chelsea. “I knew he liked me, I just didn’t realize I was the reason things didn’t work out with you two. I’m sorry, Chelsea.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for apologizing. It’s no biggie though. I think it’s all worked out the way it should. Or maybe not. You and Lucas haven’t exactly been subtle.” Chelsea fixed Jess with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked down, frowning at the truth in Chelsea’s words. She had been completely hypocritical, desperately wanting Bobby to stay loyal while she cracked on with Lucas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, all she wanted was for Bobby to return, to pick up where they had left off and move past the conflict. It all seemed so silly now. She didn’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> really </span>
  </em>
  <span>think Bobby wasn’t good enough for her. Why had she been sabotaging them? Not being true to herself? Depriving herself of the chance to be happy? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Jess spoke quietly, continuing to look down. “I don’t think I’m going to keep Lucas.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good.” Lottie looked up from aggressively picking at her fingernails. She still looked agitated, ready to attack at moment’s notice. “Gary had better do the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think there’s a chance Gary might couple up with Lucas?” Jess asked, stifling a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I mean.” Lottie’s lips curled into a slight smile. The villa was happier when Lottie was. When she wasn’t, things seemed to turn into chaos. Thankfully, the odds of Gary recoupling seemed slim. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you aren’t set on Lucas, I might snap him up.” Priya smiled. “Mason’s fun, but he’s not the guy for me. Lucas is definitely a bit of me - that body, that voice. I’ve never met anyone that posh or that fit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They didn’t show Noah at all.” Talia quietly spoke, reminding them of the missing librarian. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s odd. I guess it means he’s not getting up to anything,” Jess said slowly as she considered the odds of Noah staying loyal. He was a bit of a wildcard. His actions in the villa had been unpredictable despite how dull he often seemed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm. I’d been planning to switch, but if Noah stays loyal, maybe I shouldn’t.” Talia ran her fingers through her hair, groaning in frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a difficult decision for all of them. Except for Allegra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah, loyal?” Allegra scoffed. “Definitely not. He’s the biggest player here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah?” Talia raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t get that impression from the show.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Allegra might be right. Noah’s nice, but he’s certainly moved through the girls here with the speed of a cheetah,” Chelsea said wisely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cheetah? That’s what we’re going with?” Jess scrunched up her face at the comparison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cheetahs are fast like Noah, he was going for bits with me on day one. And they devour their prey. Seems accurate. I can picture it,” Priya said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a booming laugh at the thought of Noah’s head on a cheetah's body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Allegra, can you forward me that video. I’m getting the boy’s perspective,” Lottie asked with a determined look on her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra looked down at her phone and after a few moments of typing said, “Done.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Lottie said, pulling herself off the bed and heading for the gym  With every step, she looked more emboldened, driven by anger.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Probably looking for validation that her fury with Gary and Marisol is justified. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should see if she wants to chat, she opened up once to me about Marisol. Maybe I’m the best person for her to talk to?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go for a walk, sort my brain out.” Jess waved to the girls and headed in the general direction of the gym. Walking laps until ‘running’ into Lottie felt like the safest way to talk to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the first pass of the gym, she saw Lottie holding the phone up for Tai and Mason to watch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” she asked when it was done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it doesn’t look great.” Mason shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think? Really? You think it doesn’t look great,” Lottie snarked, pulling the phone away and walking towards the villa. “That’s helpful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe now isn’t the best time for a girl's chat. She literally looks like she might burn the villa down. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to be a friend, in bad times as well as the good. She might just need someone to listen to her rant. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, she followed Lottie into the villa eventually finding her on the terrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was curled up on the bench, eyes fixed on the horizon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want a cuppa?” Jess asked. “To do a reading?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked over, “I’m too upset for a reading. But thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk? Or do you want me to leave you alone?” Jess stood at the doorway waiting for Lottie to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can stay,” Lottie said, returning her gaze to the vista.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess cautiously sat on the other side of the bench, joining Lottie in the beautiful view before them. They sat quietly together for a few minutes before Lottie broke the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never thought I would have to see her again. After it happened. Either of them, but especially her. I know it’s shitty to blame the girl instead of the guy, but she meant more to me than he did. I cut them both out. But I missed her more. She was my first friend when I moved here from Australia. We were so close that it felt like a piece of me was missing afterwards. And now. Just when I feel like I’m moving past it she reappears, setting her sights on Gary.  She knows I’m here, and it’s like she’s violating my new life. Was she ever really my friend? If she was, why can’t she leave me alone?” As she spoke, Lottie fought back tears. The more she shared, the harder it seemed to be for her to resist. By the end, she became a sobbing mess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved closer and wrapped her arms around Lottie, gently stroking her hair. She didn’t offer any words of comfort, unable to think of anything that would help. Instead, she held Lottie close, hoping that was enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. Lottie pulled away. “I must look like such a mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but a hot mess.” Jess smiled warmly at her as Lottie laughed, throwing her head back momentarily forgetting her troubles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face shifted back, a frown replacing her expression of joy. “Thanks for coming up here. I don’t know if I would do the same for you..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As Chelsea would say, no worries.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She would say that,” Lottie groaned. “Is it terrible that I kinda hate her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea? A little. Why?” Jess asked, not totally surprised by the revelation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not hate, but I’m constantly irritated by her. She is ‘nails on a chalkboard’ level of annoying. I just want to throttle her sometimes. After leaving here, that voice will haunt my dreams.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t agree, but I get it. She’s a lot to take in. I wonder if she and Tim will work long term.” Jess leaned back, looking over the villa spotting the duo canoodling on beanbags. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if any of us will work out.” Lottie sighed. “I want things to work with Gary. I like him a lot, and I know he feels the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he doesn't like me as much as I do him. I can tell. His head could turn. I think that’s part of why I’m so freaked out about Marisol,” Lottie admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to, but I can’t promise he won’t switch. But I’ll be there for you either way.” Jess reached for Lottie’s hand, tightly squeezing it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. Same. You know, if Bobby switches.” She paused. “I still can’t believe you like him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me either. He’s as far away from my type as possible. I’ve been fighting it, dismissing him as not for me. He’s never been my type on paper. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>probably go for Lucas, we seem more compatible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s dumb. It doesn’t matter if you work on paper, you’re not going to live your life on a piece of paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you’re the one sounding like Chelsea.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awesome. Wow thanks,” Lottie said sarcastically. “I mean it though, pick the guy you want. Not the one you think you should want.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That actually makes a lot of sense. I don’t know why I overthink sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not start obsessing over why you overthink things. Please. Don’t think.” Lottie laughed. “Just ask yourself one thing. What do you want? And do that thing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll keep that in mind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohhh. What’s your birthday? Date, time and place of birth. I should chart your compatibility.” Lottie lit up at the prospect of love destined through the stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thank you. Besides, I thought that sort of thing didn’t matter.” Jess held back laughter knowing how serious Lottie could be about her witchy interests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is completely different but I’ll drop it for now,” Lottie said, reluctantly letting it go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks anyway, I’m going to go for a walk. Sort things out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and your walks,” Lottie said, waving her off. Jess flew down the stairs, feeling like she was close to figuring things out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie had been right. Only one question really mattered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What do I want? When I think of it that way, there’s only one answer. Bobby. I want Bobby. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I needed to fuck Levi, I thought I should be with Noah. I like the idea of Lucas. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t think. Don’t let your head hold you back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want Bobby. I might even love him. Love. Can I really be in love with someone I met less than a month ago? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe so. It feels a bit like love. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything felt knocked into place, she was ready to commit to that freckle-faced boy she couldn't get out of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing she had to have an awkward conversation wasn’t intimidating. Lucas liked her, but he wouldn’t be broken up about things not working out between them. Neither was smitten with the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having made the decision, she knew it was the right one. All of the dumb concerns she had about her and Bobby seemed unimportant in light of how she felt now. Knowing how strongly he cared for her unlocked something in her. She felt safe to return his feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For once, she was focusing on the basics. Bobby liked her, she liked him.  He would be back soon and they would finally be together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The night drifted by like they usually did. After rambling on at the Beach Hut about how much she liked Bobby, Jess returned more energized than ever after a forced chat session. Normally she was irritated by the awkward questions posed, but today she answered honestly and enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Strolling back to the villa, she went searching for Chelsea. She and Tim were sitting closely together on bean bags, chattering away about some sort of nonsense.  She tapped Chelsea on the shoulder. “Tag, you're it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beach hut time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beach hut time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea kissed Tim on the cheek before bouncing off to reveal her secret thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Actually, does Chelsea have any secret thoughts? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you doing Timenem?” Jess asked as she moved into Chelsea’s former spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Timenem? That’s bants. Love it. I’m proper buzzing tonight. Chelsea said she was keeping me in the villa. Can’t say I blame her.” He gestured to himself. “I am quite the catch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wow, Chelsea seemed torn on it earlier, she made that decision quickly. Where will that leave Jake? Fuck. I need to talk to Priya. Bobby’s not switching, that means he will go home if Priya does. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice chat, I’ve gotta go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? Where could you possibly have to go?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, things to do, people to see.” Jess bolted off, looking for Priya. She walked through the kitchen with purpose before landing right into a warm body. Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Jess said, avoiding his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, I was hoping to run into you, I just didn't think it would be literally.” He chuckled, reaching for her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Har har. We need to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no.” He laughed heartily. “The dreaded, ‘We need to talk’ line.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No chance he’s going to be heartbroken over this. It makes it easier. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing serious, I only wanted to let you know that I came to a decision today.” She looked up at him, almost losing her resolve as she took in his dark, soulful eyes. Without even trying, he was mesmerizing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened her mouth to continue, before abruptly stopping. She realized something important. Something that stopped her from continuing. Priya fancies Lucas, she said something about grafting on him now that Jess was ending things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya has to stay loyal to Bobby. If she doesn’t, he’ll get dumped. If Lucas is available, and Priya switches, that could ruin everything.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I might need to stick with Lucas, for now, to keep her from going for him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really fancy you.” Jess smiled coyly, pulling Lucas in for a kiss. “Would you be my date for the party tonight?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you needed to ask, but yes. Of course.” He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his forehead against hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go get ready.” She grabbed him by the hand, entwining their fingers, and led him into the villa.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The things we do for love.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Cold be hand and heart and bone.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>How much longer am I going to be stuck here? Trapped in a fake relationship with a sexy physiotherapist. Every kiss accompanied by feelings of guilt. Guilt over betraying Bobby and leading Lucas on. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She hoped he wouldn’t find out she’d been using him, feigning conflicting feelings. Ultimately she would choose to stay coupled up with Gary, but she wanted Lucas and the other girls to think she was torn. Struggling to choose between Lucas and Bobby. A decision she had already made.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been two long days since they received the video from Casa Amor. She needed Bobby to return before he came to his senses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby deserved better but selfishly hoped he would still choose her despite being in the dark about her changing feelings. Realizing how wrong she was, that he wasn’t ‘not good enough’ for her, she felt powerless to let him know. Was two days enough for his head to turn? Trusting in him would be easier if he knew how she felt. Jess and Lottie had bonded over their shared anxiety and stress over their Casa Amor fears, worried about Gary and Bobby respectively. Lottie had been the only person she had confided in about her decision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s friendship with Priya, once a source of envy, now gave her solace. Bobby wouldn’t screw over Priya. Whatever happens, she can rely on that. Even if they show snippets of her and Lucas, Bobby is good and reliable and wouldn’t take it out on Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas stirred beside her, she curled up next to him, laying her head on his chest. It was nice sharing a bed with him. If she hadn’t cared so much for Bobby, things may have worked out with Lucas. He was nice, if a bit too perfect. Sometimes she wondered if he was putting on an act, trying to seem more humble and laid back than he was. Regardless, she was choosing to enjoy this time spent with him, relishing it for what it was. A fleeting and meaningless play romance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning drifted by like most others. Different guys, but the villa in the morning were the same. Breakfast, lounging on the daybeds, followed by some sort of exercise. Lottie led a group yoga session on the lawn, fighting against Tai who attempted to turn it into a ‘Tai-chi’ class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After lunch, the group was called to the challenge stage to participate in their daily activity. Every time the phone beeped Jess perked up, hoping to hear someone yell ‘the boys are coming back.’ Instead, she was met with disappointment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today it appeared that they would be playing a game of oversized beer pong. But with water filling buckets rather than beer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t they realize that the beer is what makes the game fun?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jakub received a text and read it aloud. “</span>
  <b>Today’s challenge is boys vs girls, you will go head to head trying to land a ball in one of the buckets. Whoever gets the ball in first gets to tip the bucket over their opponent to reveal a fact. Teams will earn a point after guessing correctly which islander the fact corresponds to.</b>
  <span>” Jakub paused, looking purposeful as if pumping himself up. “I’m going to smash this. Just watch it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra smiled at him, running her hand down his chest. “I can’t wait,” she purred.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I like happy Allegra, she’s almost pleasant to be around since she started getting laid. Girl just needed some D. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Turning to Lucas, he seemed lost in thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This should be fun. If there isn’t booze, at least we’ll find out some fun things about each other.” Jess bumped her hip against Lucas, giggling at him in an attempt to make him smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned in response. “Babe, this is serious.” His eyes were fixed on the buckets of water. Lucas was nice, but a bit uptight, especially when it came to his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know why he’s so touchy about it, it looks better when it’s not sticking up in the air. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok first up is Allegra and Mason,” Jakub announced after drawing two balls from the cup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra sashayed up, insisting on taking the first shot, managing to throw her ball over the buckets. Tai ran to recover it while Mason took his shot and missed. She sighed before trying again and missing horribly. This was going to be a long challenge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mason ultimately won, pouring water down a frustrated Allegra. Neither of them had been good at beer pong, but Mason had been the least awful of the duo. He read the fact at the bottom of the bucket. “This boy dated a girl for three months without knowing her name. He ended up dumping her instead of asking her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mason gave the question some consideration before answering ‘Tai’. He turned over the card, revealing that the answer was Lucas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess burst out laughing in response, looking over at a flustered Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was very awkward,” he defended. “I felt like I was living in a rom-com nightmare. I kept trying to peak at her id. It was absurd.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kinda get it.” Jess smiled at him, kissing him on the shoulder. Awkward conversations can be difficult to have. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You and I are going to have to have one soon. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai and Jess faced off next. Tai went first and immediately landed his shot, gently pouring the bucket of water on Jess’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuudge,” she said as the warm water hit her head and streamed down her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai read the fact. “This girl spent over 25,000 pounds improving herself before coming to Love Island. Easy. Priya.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Money well spent, look at how well I turned out.” Priya confidently strutted for the group as they hollered supportively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Low-stakes secrets was a pleasant break from worrying about what was happening at Casa Amor. It was nice to laugh and bond over stupid embarrassing moments from life. No grand reveals that someone cheated or betrayed a fellow islander. The group was relaxed and joyful, with only minimal animosity. With Lottie and Allegra around, there was always a splash of animosity. But today, it was restrained with hints of genuine friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Jakub failed to ‘smash it’, Lottie threw water in his face before revealing that a mystery boy had naked photos on the internet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mason,” Lottie gasped as the group turned to the hunky musician-model for details. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn, I need to find those.” Priya cast a hungry look down Mason’s body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, you’ve already seen it....” Mason trailed off with a smug smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For posterity,” Priya cooed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henrik battled Chelsea and won and discovered that Talia had dated a movie star. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t a big deal. It was just a few dates,” Talia said about her relationship with Tom Hiddleston. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya and Lucas competed next, with Priya landing the ball in making a satisfying plunk, that wasn’t music to Lucas’s ears. She threw the water directly in his face. “Thought I would try to save that pretty hair,” she said with a flirtatious smirk before reading the islander factoid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This islander broke up with their boyfriend two days before arriving at Love Island.” Priya looked around the room for signs of guilt. “Uh. I’m going to guess Chelsea.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” Chelsea gasped, looking confused and shocked at the guess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s eyes grew wide as she read the card. “Tai? Really? What the hell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia looked unsurprised by the revelation, waving her hand dismissively. “Let’s just move on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought she and Tai were really clicking, why doesn’t she seem more upset? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai shrugged. “It wasn’t working out, I just put it off for too long. Love Island was the perfect excuse.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few more rounds, most of the islanders were soaked and the game lost momentum as exhaustion took hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, looks like the guys win it,” Jakub called out after receiving a message on his phone, making celebratory grunting noises to the confusion of everyone but Tai who joined in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea grabbed a bucket and dumped the water unceremoniously on Tim’s head. “Secret time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>fact time</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Lottie asked sarcastically, mocking the phrasing chosen by the producers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How many challenges built around revealing secrets would we have to endure?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. It's not fair that we didn’t get to read all of these. Oooh. This boy spent two summers as a sexy tour guide in Barcelona. Weird. I wonder who that was.” She scanned over the group questioningly before flipping the card, “Tim? Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim stood up dramatically, eyes focused on the horizon. “It was a long long time ago. I was a fit young man of twenty with a dream of spending my summer in Span. It was a particularly hot April day when I took the tr-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool it Tim, we don’t need your life story. Important details only.” Jess threw an empty bucket towards him, missing him by an almost embarrassing amount.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiine. It was mostly for hen parties. We’d take a bus and show them the sights.” He gestured down his body, striking a seductive pose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gag,” Allegra made a gagging motion with her finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was sick, I told them about history and stuff. I still have the outfit I wore, I’ll have to show you sometime.” He winked at Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d be down for a private tour.” Chelsea wrapped her arms around him, placing a kiss affectionately on his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely, get historical all over me baby,” she said holding his hand, pulling him towards the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we read the rest of these?” Jess asked, reaching for a bucket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got a text,” Lottie yelled out, causing Chelsea to drop Tim’s hand and sprint back over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess not,” Jess said to herself, releasing her hold on the bucket and excitedly joining the crowd forming around Lottie. She tried to temper her expectations but it was difficult not to hope. Maybe the boys are coming back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie waited until everyone was there, shushing a chattering Chelsea before reading the text. </span>
  <b>“Now that you’ve all had your fun, it’s time for tough decisions. Girls, tonight there will be a recoupling in which you must decide whether to remain coupled up with your boy who has been living in Casa Amor or twist and recouple with a new boy #stickorswitch #wheresyourheadat.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie smiled wickedly, not trying to hide her excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I get to see Bobby tonight. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She caught Lucas watching her intently and avoided his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finally. This will all be over soon. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“The boys are coming home,” Chelsea squealed, jumping up and down, not noticing the nervous look on Tim’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it stick or switch time yet? This is going to be the longest day ever, I can’t wait to see Bobby’s silly face. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the afternoon progressed at a snail's pace. Everyone was nervous and irritable, wanting to rip off the awkward band-aid. The girls split off after the news, Jess watched as they pulled their partners away for private talks. It was obvious from posture and facial expressions what was happening. Mason nodded through a pained smile as Priya spoke. Tim jumped up and down, before twirling Chelsea into his arms. Henrik was doing an impression of a grumpy cat as he listened to Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spotted Lucas working out at the gym. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Crap, he saw me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She had been avoiding him ever since the text message came through. It needed to happen, but she felt horrible about leading him on. At first her interest had been genuine, but things shifted once she realized how strong her feelings were for Bobby. She’d spent the past couple of days manipulating him, pretending to like him more than she did. Now, she felt bad, guilt creeping up every time she saw him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dashing inside, she headed for the bedroom to hide. The conversation needed to happen, it just required a little prep work. Maybe practice it in the mirror a few times? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she entered the bedroom, distracted by thoughts of pieing off Lucas, she nearly collapsed in surprise witnessing a naked Allegra writhing on top of Jakub.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stunned, and unable to look away, Jess met Jakub’s eye as Allegra let out an enthusiastic moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell, get out of here,” Jakub snarled, pulling an arm from Allegra’s back and waving it dismissively. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How do they have the gall to be annoyed by me walking in on this? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You-what the hell. Other people live here. You know there are cameras in here, right?” She pointed at one of the cameras mounted on the wall of the communal bedroom  “Keep your fornicating under the sheets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra placed a finger to her temple. “They can’t show it on tv if it’s over the covers. No nudity rules, babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s true,” Jess responded, moving past them heading for the changing room. “Besides, none of us want to see you two shagging either.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell? I guess I was looking for a distraction…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess fled to the loungers, sneaking past Lucas and Tai chatting about a supplement that helped with their bulk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One by one, the other girls joined her. Lottie. Chelsea. Talia. Allegra. And finally Priya. She plopped down, pulling her shades off and sighing into the lounger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had to have the awkward chat with Mason earlier, letting him know I’m not bringing him back. Now, he’s being really weird around me.” Priya frowned, a wrinkle forming between her brows. “I know we all really want to chat about who’s switching, but can we just talk about anything else.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could make one boy out of all the boy parts, what would your boy be?” Chelsea asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is why I like Chelsea. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the guys here or our guys?” Priya asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I love the way Priya embraces things. They’re both always up for fun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the guys,” Chelsea said. “I’ll start. I want Bobby’s face. Rahim’s chest. Lucas’s arms. And Jakub’s legs.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite the person you’ve imagined there.” Lottie raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My turn,” Priya excitedly called out. “This is my dream. I want Bobby’s face, Lucas’s hair, Jakub’s torso, Tai’s legs, and Mason’s arms. Jess, your turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess contemplated her franken-man, speaking slowly and methodically “I want... Bobby’s face on Levi’s body, but with Bobby’s hands and.” She paused blushing slightly. “You know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His what?” Talia asked with a twinkle in her eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I really need to say it?” Jess felt her face turn red, kneading her hands in nervousness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you do,” Lottie smirked. “I’m not sure Chelsea gets it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at Chelsea, the girl did seem confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His.” Jess paused, wondering why she had chosen to take the conversation in this direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His penis,” Lottie loudly yelled out, drawing glances from the boys over at the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea squealed, “Wow, really? I didn’t realize you two had- well...Go Bobby. I’m glad I didn’t go with Levi.” She raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that there was anything wrong with Levi’s dick, it’s just I liked one better than the other.” Jess shrugged with the hint of a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look who's pulling out the d-word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I was just embarrassed, I don’t want to insult any of the guys. I’ve seen three so far, they’ve all been great. Not to get too romantic, but I think I found the dick for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D’aww. That’s so sweet. Jess and Bobby’s dick sitting in a tree,” Chelsea began singing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess buried her head in her hands to the glee of the rest of the girls, before giving in and laughing to the point of tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to throw you in the pool,” Jess threatened, finally recovering her voice but still bright red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hhmm.” Allegra cleared her throat loudly. “Do I get to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have at it, leggy.” Chelsea smiled affectionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I want Gary’s face and Jakub’s body. With Mason’s package. I like Jakub but he’s not exactly packing, I like the look of that bulge on Mason.” The girls nodded approvingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mason does not disappoint on that front,” Priya said, biting her lip. “It’s not the only thing I like about him, but it’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge </span>
  </em>
  <span>check in his favour.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, your turn,” Priya instructed as all eyes turned to the blue-haired witchy goddess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary.” Lottie shrugged. “Every part.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so sweet, you two are such couple goals,” Chelsea swooned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so,” Lottie nervously answered. “I’ll be glad to see him later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels like years since we’ve seen our boys. I’m expecting them to come back all old and wrinkly,” Chelsea said. “I hope Rohan isn’t too disappointed when I bring Tim back. I like him. I don’t want to hurt him, but…” She trailed off, biting her lip and looking away. “I’m still not sure what I want to do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess placed an arm around her shoulder. “It’s ok to change your mind and stick with Rohan. Or Jake, I guess. We’re all making a tough decision later. Whatever happens, let’s all try to be there for each other.” Looking over at Priya, she still felt nervous.  She said she wasn't taking Mason back, but Priya was wild - unpredictable, uncontrollable. Dangerous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still not sure what I’m going to do, I haven’t talked to Lucas yet. He’s a great guy, I’m so into him, but I like Bobby too. I think I’m going to wait until the ceremony to decide, go with how I feel in the moment.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Jess wanted was to tie Priya down and force her to stay loyal to her baker boy. But she was her own person. As much as Jess was setting pieces in play, it would be up to Priya to make a decision that would affect the three of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oddly, Jess found a kindred spirit in Priya, as they each knew this was a game.  But Jess was in it to win (love not money) and Priya was there to have fun. Chaotic neutral was a dangerous alignment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spent the afternoon counting the seconds until they would return. Peering up at the sun trying to gauge what time it was, and estimate how much longer until the boys would return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The day felt like it was never going to end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Climbing the steps of the terrace, she sought out her favourite spot to be alone. Still avoiding the conversation with Lucas. After seeing Priya again, it felt risky cutting him loose with enough time to make a move on Priya. It also felt cruel to wait until the ceremony for him to find out she wouldn’t be picking him. She was knowingly sabotaging his chance to stay in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the door, she heard voices, quiet but tensely arguing. She paused to listen, pressing her ear to the door. It was Talia and Priya, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. She turned back around, not wanting to interrupt, but very curious about the disagreement.  As she walked back through the bedroom, she met an approaching Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.” He said, with serious eyes that pierced like they could see right through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you found me.” She smiled awkwardly, dreading whatever he was going to say next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to know where your head is at, are you picking me tonight?” A hint of desperation appeared on his face, he smiled but in an off-kilter nervous sort of way.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is it. This is the moment.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m not,” she said as he looked down at the ground in response. “I’m sticking with Gary. I like you a lot. But I can’t do that to Lottie and Gary. And I want to try to make things work with Bobby. I don’t think that can happen with you in the villa.” She laughed, hoping that would keep him from any last-minute grafting efforts on Priya or Talia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it.” He forced a wider smile as if shaking off the disappointment. “I think we all knew it was a long shot for any of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, you’re great. I...I’m sorry.” Jess felt herself falling apart, guilt ripping through her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I feel like a piece of garbage. Maybe he and Priya would have been good together if I’d let them even try. “ </span>
  </em>
  <span>I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really don’t need to justify this to me. Thanks for being honest. And you never know, maybe you’ll be up there tonight and see me looking hot as hell and decide to take that chance.” He offered one last smoulder, brushing his hand lightly down her cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been selfish and horrible to Lucas.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Either way, when you get out of here. I would love to take you on a bike ride. If you would have me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would like that, thank you, Lucas.” She pulled him in for a hug, feeling shitty but grateful for him. Maybe it’s not too late for him to find someone here.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I should talk to Talia. I wonder if she’s still on the terrace with Priya.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He left her alone with her regrets, unable to process how badly she had failed them all. Priya. Lottie. Levi. Noah. Chelsea. Bobby. Now Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Talia. I’ll see if she might be interested in him. She didn’t seem too distraught over Tai’s revelation earlier.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Terrace. Attempt number two. Jess didn’t wait to hear if they were still chatting and opened the door. It was a public terrace, nothing strange about that. Instead of a deep conversation between friends, Jess stumbled upon a tear stricken Talia, slumped into a corner of the terrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok?” Jess asked. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dumb question, she’s obviously not ok.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes and stood as if nothing had been wrong. “I’m fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want to talk about it, I’m here.” Jess looked over at the typically cool and confident Talia. What had rattled her so much? She generally seemed unphased by the villa drama. She hasn’t been here long, or gotten that serious with anyone. Is she upset about Noah? Or Tai? Feeling guilty over grafting on Tai with Noah staying loyal? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Talia rushed past her, leaving Jess alone with her matchmaking attempt forgotten. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dinner. Beach Hut. Primping time. Hairspray was the only sound heard in the changing room, as the girls quietly prepared themselves for the evening. The tension in the air was palpable as the girls were all aware of the ramifications of their decision and overwhelmed with worries about what the boys would decide. Other than Allegra who thankfully read the room and stayed quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, it was time. As she sat at the fire pit, watching the dancing flames, Jess didn’t feel even the tiniest part nervous anymore. All she felt was joyful anticipation.  Everything would be fine once this was over. Ten more minutes and it would all be done.  Bobby would be back, Lucas would be gone. She was still stuck with Gary, but that didn’t seem like it mattered anymore. She knew who she wanted to be with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nervous excitement bursting in the air, decisions had already been made. It was time to make it official and for each girl to reunite with their villa boy or move on with the new one. They each had an awkward or joyful discussion with their current villa partner. There was a chance of a last-minute reprieve, but the guys going home knew their likely future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea was the only wildcard in the mix, she told Tim she was bringing him home but doubts had been evident all day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess heard her phone go off. “I’m first.” She smiled nervously, having hoped to go later, just in case </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> snaked Lucas when she didn’t choose him. “This has been a tough decision. I met a truly wonderful man this week, but I’ve fallen for someone else already. He may not be who I’m coupled up with, but he’s the person I wanted to be with. With all that in mind, I want to stick with Gary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over at Lucas and he smiled at her, without a glimmer of resentment. Jess heard another beep, looking down at her phone it said ‘</span>
  <b>Now, let’s see if Gary made the same decision.</b>
  <span>’ She read the message aloud and looked for Gary to arrive.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come on Gary, don’t let me and Lottie down. Why is this taking so long? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary walked out from the entrance alone. Jess let out a deep sigh of relief as Lottie ran to him, leaping into his arms in a very romantic un-Lottie like way. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She really missed him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gary and Lottie held hands walking over to the others. A grateful Jess pulled Gary in for a hug. “Glad you’re back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, missed you ladies. And the gym. The one at Casa Amor was trash.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m next.” Chelsea shot out of her chair, rambling on about paint colours before choosing to switch to Tim. Jake came out alone looking sad but unsurprised about Chelsea’s change. He had to know she was switching. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Jake, I hope he finds someone in the real world if not the villa. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He sat beside her and Priya. Jess laid her head on his shoulder. “We missed you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same here, it’s good to be back. At least for a little while.” He frowned and she squeezed his hand in response. </span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra chose Jakub and stuck her tongue down his throat for what felt like hours to celebrate. Like Jake, Rohan came out alone. Not bothering a glance at his former partner, he sought out Chelsea, who was holding hands with Tim. The typically bubbly blonde watched Rohan with wide eyes and a face filled with guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Rohan. Poor Jake.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They both can't go home. That can’t happen, right? Why wouldn’t Rohan switch? How could he not know he knew Allegra would? Don’t these guys know that this is a game? Strategy, people!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia went next, choosing to stick with Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess held her breath waiting for Noah to come out. She didn’t have much faith in Noah’s loyalty. Talia deserved better. But maybe she wasn’t being fair to Noah? Letting their own romantic failings taint her view of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah walked out hand in hand with the same woman they saw kissing Jake in the video. She was stunning in person - dark skin and hair, bold makeup, fierce style, and a confident expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good to see you ladies again. This is Hope.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His new partner waved and greeted the group with a diplomatic but cold smile. “Hello everyone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia stayed silent as she sat back down at the firepit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Talia is vulnerable too. I feel sick. There are too many single islanders, they can’t send them all home right? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>This is more of a disaster than the last recoupling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next up was Lottie. Holding hands with Gary, she chose to stick with Rocco. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess gave Lottie a knowing frown. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Big mistake, Lottie. Rocco is definitely switching. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lottie shrugged, leaning against Gary.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lottie is a much better person than I. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco strolled out next, holding hands with...</span>
  <em>
    <span> fuck..Lottie is going to flip out. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Marisol. Lottie’s friend-turned-enemy. Dressed like a sexy librarian in a classy adult film, Marisol sauntered right over to greet her former best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry we're meeting like this.” She gestured to Rocco.” But it’s good to see you again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary held on tightly to Lottie’s shoulder, reassuring her as best he could and preventing her from literally biting Marisol’s head off. Lottie held her tongue, not responding to the friendly taunts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s phone beeped next. She stood, looking confident as she began her speech. “I’ve given this a lot of thought and even though it may hurt people-” She quickly glanced at Talia. “I need to do what’s right for me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, this isn’t good</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Looking over at Talia, her head was down. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She knew this was going to happen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t spent much time with this boy, but I have a good feeling about him. I want to recouple, and the boy I want to switch to is Tai.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai smiled widely and walked over to Priya, sweeping her into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess found herself standing and walking towards them. “What the hell, Priya? You said earlier you weren’t switching. How could you do this to Bobby? You weren't even coupled up with Tai, why would you screw us over like this? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Us? What does this have to do with you?” Priya stared back incredulously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know Bobby and I are together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya let out a cold guttural laugh. “Does Lucas know that? Because you’ve been hanging over him this whole time. I thought you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>into him. Isn’t that what you said earlier?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care about Lucas. I was just trying to keep you from going for him so you wouldn’t switch. And that </span>
  <em>
    <span>still </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn't stop you.” Jess knew she was raising her voice, losing her temper, but couldn’t hold back her frustration. For days she had been thinking of little else but a reunion with Bobby. And now Priya was selfishly ruining it for them for a guy she hasn't even spent much time with. It would be one thing if she was crazy about Tai. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever listen to yourself? How are you taking the moral high ground here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake stepped between the girls, intervening “This is a rough night for everyone, maybe we should all take a step back. We’re almost done here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Jess sat back down sulking. At least Bobby is next. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If he has to go home, would I go too? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I think I would. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. We could start fresh somewhere new. Nothing is keeping me from moving to Glasgow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But is it too soon to start considering that? How will we get a chance if we leave and go our separate ways? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Breathe. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She fixed her eyes to the path each guy had taken, willing him to appear. All day, she had been confident that they would be happily reuniting but now she was left with a foreboding feeling. Something was wrong. This night wasn’t going to end happily for anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up, she saw what she wanted the most, Bobby. Her beautiful, sweet, funny Bobby. Only he was holding hands with a petite, waifish looking girl with long blonde hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. Please no. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A sick feeling burned in her belly, seeping into every facet of her body. She tried to speak, but her mouth was dry as if full of cotton. She wanted to yell, scream at him but felt paralyzed - rooted to the ground as vines enveloped her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a wide smile on his face, he greeted the group, avoiding her gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat frozen, unable to say anything, her anger wasted pointlessly against Priya. The air deflated from her chest, weighing her down. She sat, watching him introduce his new partner to Chelsea, his voice a rambling blur in her head. He laughed. Happiness and pride at his new partner evident on his face. He likes her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He hasn’t even looked at me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All she wanted was the ground to swallow her up and take her away from here. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This feels a bit like karma. I guess it’s what I deserve. I led on Levi, Noah, Lucas, Bobby - never sure of what I wanted. I used them and now I’m stuck here, miserable, watching the person I want helplessly as he moves on without a second glance. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s probably good that he hasn’t noticed me, I can’t pretend not to be a broken mess now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She forced her body to move, pulling up from the bench and quickly snuck away, unable to handle the joyful reunions now taking place. Desperately wanting anything to overtake the pain she was now feeling, she dove into the pool. Letting the bitter, cold water hit her, she felt a different sort of pain.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After plunging into the pool, the tears finally came. She sobbed until it hurt and her breathing stalled, wanting anything to replace how miserable she felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He switched. He moved on. He’s gone. And it’s my fault. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess dove underwater again, screaming until she felt her senses return as the burning hit her lungs. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Keep it together, this sucks, but you need to be strong and not fall apart over a man.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She swam to the edge to pull herself up and spotted Lottie sitting on the coping watching her. Lottie stayed silent, offering a sad smile instead. As if knowing there wasn’t anything to say that could help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you changed quickly, they want us to see the Casa Amor boys off.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Jess said, as Lottie wrapped her arms around her without seeming to mind how soaked she was from the pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess walked in a daze, nothing felt real. She was walking through a living nightmare and was the only one who could see it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How could he have actually switched? How could he do this to me? To us? I know I gave him every excuse, but I hoped I meant more. That somehow he would magically know what I really wanted.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t blame him, this is on me. I ruined us. I had every opportunity to let him know how I felt and I squandered every chance. Did I really expect him to sit and wait around my wishy-washy ass?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How am I supposed to act around him now? He promised he would always be there? Were those empty platitudes?  Are things going to be weird with us now? How am I supposed to be ok when the only thing that would make me feel better is him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie waited while she changed, fixed her makeup, and blow-dried her hair. Jess rushed through the process, quickly shifting through the tasks. Some islanders had to have noticed her absence but she hoped her meltdown was missed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Returning to the group, she avoided glancing at Bobby. It seemed a fair turn after how he avoided her. She went to greet Hope and Noah who were chatting with Allegra and Jakub, when Bobby’s new partner interrupted, placing herself directly in Jess’ path.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, you left so quickly we didn’t get a chance to meet. I’m Jen.” Smiling warmly Jen brought her hand out and Jess shook it limply in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen. Petite with cascading long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a coquettish look, she could see why Bobby liked her</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She’s nice too, probably wanting to break the ice alone to save Bobby from the awkwardness.</span>
</p><p><em><span>I know it’s not fair, but I hate you. I hate you so much, we’re never going to be friends.</span></em> <em><span>I’m sorry, but it’s true.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>“Hi Jen, I’m Jess. It’s so nice to meet you.” She overcompensated, sounding considerably more enthusiastic than she felt. Jess paused, eyes fixed on the kind blue eyes she already loathed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s the right thing to say here? I can’t be honest. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Uh...I should say goodbye to Lucas, but let's chat more later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She fled, wanting to avoid this new girl who had stolen her guy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not fair. He wasn’t yours to lose. You let him go. It’s not fair to take this out on him or her. The best thing you do right now is pretend to be happy for him. Perhaps someday, it will be true.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The unselected islanders were meandering near the exit, saying their final goodbyes. Mason, Lucas, Henrik, and three girls - two of whom she recognized from the video. Knockoff Lottie, a girl with short pink hair and attitude and handstand girl who was rail thin but stacked with short, partially shaved blonde hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas and Henrik were with Lottie, while Mason was grafting on a petite curvy girl with curly, copper hair. She hesitantly approached Lucas laughing at something Henrik had said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He heard my rant to Priya, now he knows how I used him. He has every right to be furious with me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, mind if we chat?” she asked nervously, tightly gripping her hands, tense with worry now that he knew how awful she was. He and everyone knew she wasn’t the ‘nice girl’ she pretended to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He offered a pained smile before moving away from the group, leading her to a more isolated area. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shuffled awkwardly before taking a breath and saying what needed to be said. “I’m sorry Lucas. For so many things. I don't have a good excuse, I mean you clearly know the excuse, and it’s not a good one. I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt good to say, even if it didn’t make her behaviour any better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas reached for her hands, pulling her closer. “Holding my hand, exploring an exotic spot as we travelled the globe. I never told you. That’s where I pictured my partner. And your answer was your kitchen at home. I always knew this is where we would be eventually. But I liked you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m annoyed with you for pretending we could be more but you don’t need to be sorry. This is a game and I had fun playing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I truly liked you when we first met but things changed as I realized certain things. After all this, I probably should have picked you. Considering how things ended up. We both lost.” She chuckled darkly at her own misfortune. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re both going to be fine. Let’s hang out when this is all over. I still owe you that motorbike ride.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal.” She pulled him in for a hug, rubbing his shoulder and taking in his expensive smelling cologne a final time. “I hope you have a nice rest of the summer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we in primary? Saying goodbye until school starts again?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear, this place makes me feel like I’m in school sometimes so it checks out.” She laughed, finally pulling away from his embrace. “I’ll see you in the fall, friend. Stay cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess gave the group a final farewell watching as two jeeps left the villa carrying the castoffs, the rejects back to their real lives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of her wanted to join them and avoid the misery of having to see Bobby coupled up with someone else.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I may as well stay. If not here, I’ll obsessively watch them on TV. I don’t have the willpower to save myself the pain and boycott. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly she returned to the group, wishing she had a partner to navigate the evening with. Gary was technically coupled up with her, but he and Lottie had run off somewhere together. Allegra and Jakub were missing as well. And Jake. Priya and Tai canoodled on a daybed, looking happy as they alternated between kissing and giggling. Chelsea was awkwardly introducing Tim and Rohan. She stood between the two men in her life, bouncing her head from one direction to the other trying to force them into a friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby had his arm around Jen, in conversation with Talia.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so beautiful, animatedly telling a story, entrancing those listening. I wish I could hear it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He noticed her, eyes widening in surprise.  Quickly, she averted her own before shifting her body away from him. She spotted Chelsea again and moved to interrupt whatever was happening with her love triangle. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not ready for this yet. I need to be able to pretend I’m ok, even if I’m not. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby caught her midway there, gently grabbing her arm. He stood there, awkward and nervous before asking the question she was dreading. “Can we talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Has that question ever led to anything other than a polite but brutal dumping? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking into those beautiful amber eyes, he looked sad and guilty. It broke her, realizing he was carrying pain over moving on. He wanted her stamp of approval of his new relationship. For her to remove his guilt and mollify him. She drove him to it and now was </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> hurting him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why couldn’t I have appreciated him? Now he has someone who does. And I need to be happy for him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s Bobby. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I get it. No hard feelings. We don’t need to have the talk. I’m-” She paused, knowing it was impossible to tell him how she was really feeling. “I need to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If I talk to him now, I will beg him to take me back and it’s the last thing he needs. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She rushed off, not waiting for him to respond, looking for someone, anyone to talk to that would justify why she so desperately needed to flee. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Priya. I should make amends with Priya. Another person I treated like shit today. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked over to Priya and Tai in deep laughter that stopped abruptly when they noticed her arrival. “Priya, Can I grab you for a moment? I come in peace. Promise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s mouth opened and closed quickly before reassessing and answering. “Sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked slowly over to the kitchen, reminding Jess of how she had pulled Priya away to apologize for choosing Noah on the second day here. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to be better about doing things that I won’t need to apologize for.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The two women stood watching each other. Priya with an intense gaze that seemed to be daring her to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess broke the silence. “I’m sorry. For taking Noah, criticizing you for switching. All of it. I’ve been selfish. I don’t know that I’ll be better, but I want to be and I promise to try. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and I are a lot alike. We both go after what we want. You just pretend to be the good girl when you do it,” Priya said with her arms crossed, unimpressed, and refusing to offer forgiveness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was always the teacher's pet, I think people overestimate me sometimes. Just because I look like a girl next door, doesn’t mean I am one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because I look like trouble doesn't make me trouble or give people the excuse of treating me like a whore.” Priya moved her hands to her hips, as she raised her voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a deep breath as the regret ripped through her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t realize I was treating Priya so badly. On some level, I have been judging her for how she looks. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you’re a whore Priya. Or selfish, I’m sorry for treating you like you were. No one here has been more selfish than me.” Jess glibly laughed at the realization. “Everyone at home probably hates me. And I can’t even blame them. I don’t like myself right now. But I do like you. Can we please start over and be friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s expression softened as she took a step closer to Jess.  “I get it, things are heightened here. I feel wild and unpredictable and empowered by this place. I like it. But I know I’ve been a bit selfish too. And I’m not sorry for it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not asking you to be,” Jess said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, we’re fine. Let’s give friendship a shot. Sorry, I’m not warmer about everything. Today’s been a bit overwhelming. Let’s try to start fresh tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that, thanks Priya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya smiled at her for the first time this evening before her face shifted as if a tragic memory resurfaced. “Are you ok? About Bobby? I didn’t realize you liked him that much. You said you did, but you never acted much like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not.” Jess frowned, answering honestly. “Not ok at all. Karma’s had fun with me today. But thanks for asking. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow will be better. It can’t be much worse, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s eyes flashed with empathy and she pulled Jess in for a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tomorrow will be worse. I’m going to have to see them together. As a couple. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her stomach twisted at the thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They each went their separate ways. Priya to rejoin her partner while Jess sprinted inside to get ready for bed early. The last thing she wanted to see was Jen and Bobby cosy together in bed, bantering about who would be the big spoon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After she was dressed and ready to sleep, she hid out in the lounge waiting for everyone to go upstairs so she could pass through without notice.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tonight she would sleep outside, perhaps for the rest of the time in the villa. She didn’t want to move on and try to find someone new. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m tired of moving from guy to guy, obsessing over which one is my perfect match. My soulmate. Love of my life and future father of my children. Why did I think that ever existed? Some people are meant to be alone. I should accept that I’m one of them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should use this as an opportunity to try to be a better person, a better friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Settling into a daybed, she felt a figure approach.  Looking up, she was surprised to see Jake. He pulled open the comforter of the bed next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleeping outside too?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it's crowded in there with the new people.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jake looks sad, almost as sad as I am. What happened? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, it’s just.” His brow furrowed as he looked deep in thought, deciding whether or not to share “It’s Priya. I know she was into Rahim, but I felt like things were turning around for us after he left. Like we still had a chance. I keep waiting for her to see me as more than a fling. I’m not enough for her, not outgoing enough for her to take seriously.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, reaching for Jake's hand across from her. “I didn’t realize you liked her that much. Does </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not? I guess I’ve always followed her lead. We are whatever she wants us to be, friends or more. It changes day to day. I’m glad she’s happy with him, Tai, but I wish she could have been that happy with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Jake. Not to hijack your pain, but I understand how you feel. At least a bit of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you talked to him yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes, momentarily feeling the pain hit her again. “No, he tried to pull me aside earlier and I dodged him. I need some time to let it all set in. Whatever conversation we had tonight would have ended in tears or me screaming at him demanding to know why he pied me off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back at Jake, she could see the pain she felt registered on his face. They had both been broken tonight, but Jake was still capable of such selflessness and empathy.</span>
  <em>
    <span> He deserves better than to be stuck out here with me. He should be inside with an amazing woman who cherishes him, loves his silly poetry, and enjoys his quiet serious nature. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope he finds her. Maybe it is Priya and she just doesn’t realize it yet?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She squeezed his hand and forced out a smile. “Do you know what happened?” she quietly asked, needing to know how her romantic life had fallen apart.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What changed? We ...we got a video from Casa Amor and in it Bobby said he was staying loyal. It looked like he was sleeping outside. What changed? Is he mad at me about Lucas? Does he really like her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those are questions for him,” Jake said. “We aren’t exactly close. I like Bobby, but he doesn’t exactly confide in me. Or anyone really. I know he took the video we were sent pretty hard. Even he couldn’t hide that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was in the video?” She did so many things, it hurt knowing Bobby had seen any of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said something about Bobby being too childish for you and there were a few shots of you kissing someone. I guess Lucas. They showed him taking off your swimsuit. It didn’t look great. I know they manipulate things for shock value but you were in it more than any of the girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Had he already gotten together with Jen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but he did right after. He seems to like her, I don’t really know. It’s hard to tell with him. He’s been a lot more subdued since then. For me, it’s been a nice change. He can be a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to love having Tim around. I never thought anyone could be more extra than Bobby or Chels, but he proved me wrong. What are you planning to do?” Jess paused. “About Priya? Are you going to talk to her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. She seems to like this Tai guy? What’s the point?” The moonlight glimmered in his eyes, a quiet desperate look fixed on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t realize how insecure Jake is, it’s like he doesn’t realize how amazing he is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, I wouldn’t take Tai too seriously. I’m not sure Priya is. She wasn’t even with him until she picked him today. You saw that. You definitely have a chance, but you have to tell her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to talk to Bobby?” he deflected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Point taken. I’m not. As much as I want to. No. At least not yet. I.. when he was gone I realized I loved him. But I’ve done nothing but treat him like garbage. He deserves better.  And now he has better. I want to claw her eyes out, but Jen seems nice. If I really love him, the best thing can do is let him go and be happy. He’s better off without me. And honestly, if he loved me back he wouldn’t have moved on so quickly. He didn’t even look at me tonight, I’ve been desperate to see him and he never glanced my way.” She felt her eyes turn glassy as she spoke, fighting the tears threatening to emerge. “I..don’t want to lose him, but I feel like I already have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Jess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. I wish I had done things differently. Now I’m stuck on this shitty island, alone and miserable. I should walk. But If I do, If I leave, I won’t see him again. I’m not ready for that. I need him, even as a friend. Hopefully, we can get there again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone else in mind for romance?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed bitterly. “Romance? No. I need a break. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone at this point. Maybe I’ll see if Rohan wants to couple up as friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, I ruined things with Bobby but you and Priya still have a chance.  Don’t give up on her. You deserve each other in the best possible way. She just needs a kick in the butt, I get that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I should, it’s just hard.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Real talk, Jake. You’re the hottest guy here. You’re sweet and a genuinely good person. And you cook. You’re the definition of a catch. Priya just needs to see how desirable you are. Want me to help you make her jealous? I’m sure that would work on her. ” Jess laughed heartily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, what do I have going on now? I could use something to do other than pine away for a guy who doesn’t want me anymore. If Priya saw us together, she would definitely reconsider things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes narrowed as he considered the idea. “Thanks, but I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Afraid of falling hopelessly in love with me?” She asked, giggling a bit at the prospect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe a little?” A small smile formed at the corner of his lips. “I’ve always been a bit attracted to you. But I don’t want to manipulate Priya that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that, I feel the same way about Bobby. I want him to want me because he wants me. Not because I’ve guilt-tripped or manipulated him into it. You’re right, it was a bad idea. I’m done trying to find the love of my life here. Getting back to basics. When I first got here, I was certain that I wouldn’t find love, I was just here for fun. Somewhere along the line, things became muddled.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting, I was certain that I would find love here. I felt it with every fibre of my being,” Jake said, with a face of determination. “I wasn’t wrong, I did find love, it just didn’t find me back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you want to couple us as friends?” She asked, carefully considering how to navigate a friendship couple. “Be each other's person? If you're sad about Priya and need a hug or a snog, come find me. I get it. And maybe I could do the same?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you seriously suggesting a friends-with-benefits situation?” He raised a sceptical eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More like friends who snog to help distract from their heartbreak? Is that a bad thing as long as we’re honest with each other? Because honestly, I could really use a hug tonight,” she said, still sitting on the edge of the bed, but having slowly curled into a ball through the conversation. Arms wrapping around herself, a halfhearted attempt at self-soothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake moved over onto her bed, wrapping his arms around her. He held her tight and the longer it went on, the more she felt her feelings come to the surface. She sobbed quietly into his shoulder, pulling away when there were no more tears to cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking into his eyes, she felt grateful for him. She kissed him lightly, sweetly- a kiss tinged with only a hint of passion. Warmed by the gentle soft touch of his lips, it was nice, the kiss of a friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was what they were meant to be, what they both needed right now. She kissed him again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Someone else always has to carry on the story.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h2>
  <span>Bobby’s Love Island Experience- Days 1-17</span>
</h2><p> </p><p>
  <b>Day 1</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love Island. It’s a cliché but I can’t believe I’m here. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was meant to be a reality TV star. Everyone told him so for years.  And now he was here, at the place where it all begins. Love Island. And then onward to a baking show and finally a happily ever after with his own bakery. No more working for other people, barely scraping by. Finally, a chance to be more. And if it doesn’t work out, so be it. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was one of the first to arrive on the scene, happily greeting the guys and sizing them up. They were nice. Not the funnest bunch, but no intense personalities that would cause chaos. He knew he would need to try hard to keep spirits up around this lot. Assessing the other guys too much was an invitation for inadequacy. With the others having abs for days, Bobby didn’t expect to be most desired of the group. At least initially. He knew it may take some time for his particular charms to take hold. He’d heard it a million times. “I hated you the first time I met you.” “You were so annoying.” “You’ve really grown on me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least they’re each dryer than day-old bread. A sense of humour goes a long way.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I need to contain it, I know I overcompensate manically when nervous. Never quite figured out how to graft smoothly, instead literally laughing the girls into my bed.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As each girl walked in, Bobby dismissed them. Priya, too glamorous. Chelsea, too ditzy. Allegra, too aggressive. Erikah, too quiet. Years ago, Lottie may have been perfect for him. In his punk phase, he would have dated the goth girl, but he had grown out of that style. Now, he knew Lottie would be drama. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya and Chelsea each seemed fun in their own ways. Lottie had a dry sense of humour he appreciated despite her aggressive demeanour. On paper Allegra and Erikah were opposites, but Bobby sensed they were more similar than it initially seemed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost stepped forward for Priya, but something kept holding him back. A voice telling him to wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he did. And ended up paired with Erikah after Allegra stole Ibrahim from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She seemed like a nice enough girl. Emphasis on </span>
  <em>
    <span>seemed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Flashes of something darker showed themselves when Allegra picked Rahim. She didn’t attack Allegra openly, instead opting for a snarky remark. There was a moment where he could see her shift back, reverting to the nice girl as if putting on a mask. He knew something about that.  There was a mean spirited energy lurking under the surface. Bobby considered himself a good judge of character and normally liked almost everyone. He may even like Erikah, but she wasn’t a romantic possibility for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when Erikah tried to kiss him that afternoon, he dodged it. Every action here felt important. If he kissed her back, he might feel obligated to pick her later. There was an unspoken contract, Erikah seemed to recognize this as well. Almost immediately she shifted from him, pulling each of the guys away for a private chat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a relief. Bobby knew he would need to be open to romantic possibilities- This was Love Island after all- but Erikah felt wrong for him in every way.  He doubted he would find love here at all, going into this adventure with extremely low expectations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were evenly matched, there had to be a new entrant into the competition soon. In chatting with the guys alone, they each were hesitant to commit. Just in case.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah clung to him, offering a smile as they listened to Ibrahim try out some particularly bad jokes on them. It had been a fun afternoon of Truth or Dare, in which Erikah danced seductively on him and he told an embarrassing story about a dick cake. He knew they would have an awkward chat later, dreading the thought of telling another girl he only saw her as a friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Allegra cackled at Rahim’s pun about pumpkins, the music stopped. Erikah stiffened against him, her eyes turned towards the place they had arrived at earlier. Bobby looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A new girl. They knew it was coming, had joked about it earlier, but it still managed to surprise the group when she appeared.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was beautiful in a way that felt soothing and real, a classic ‘Audrey Hepburn type’ beauty. Normally he gravitated towards high maintenance glamorous girls that quickly grew bored of him. But her. She was captivating in a way that felt like everything he needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pretty and waifish, she fidgeted, tucking her hair behind her ear as if operating by pure instinct.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She seemed nervous, grasping at her hands, forcing a smile. In that moment he saw how terrified she was. But something shifted, she took a breath, and a veil of confidence appeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know if I’ve ever related to a girl more. And I haven’t even spoken to her yet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Saving the best for last, were you? I’m like the sweet dessert at the end of a main course of beefcake,” he said, cringing as the line left his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess, her name was Jess. And he wanted her to like him. He wanted to leave an impression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face crinkled up and she laughed, a short but adorable giggle that sparked joy in him. The sweetest sound, it shot down his spine filling him up with satisfaction. He had made her laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Normally I’m too full for dessert. I go to dinner planning on ordering tiramisu, but by the time the dessert cart arrives, I’m stuffed.” She smiled, piercing him with a look that told him she enjoyed his humour but saw through his bullshit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He liked her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucky for you, I’m a professional so you can expect desserts any time of the day from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” She raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sort of, I’m a hospital caterer, but I do some baking on the side. I make a mean cupcake.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smirked, creating a delicious expression on her lips, “I often find cupcakes too sweet. Why so much frosting?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just haven’t tried mine yet.” He wanted to move closer, to close the distance, almost forgetting about the others standing there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe someday.” She sighed before drawing her attention back to Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, she likes Levi. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She tried her own joke and it landed flat, but she brushed it off effortlessly and carried on. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I may be smitten.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As everyone was getting ready for bed, Bobby found himself thinking about Jess. She hadn’t reappeared in the bedroom, probably feeling the pressure of being the outsider. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Would she think it was strange if I checked on her? </span>
  </em>
  <span> She was fixated on Levi during their first meeting, but he had this nagging feeling that she was right for him. It wouldn’t hurt to put out the feelers, see if she’s interested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, he found her, laying on a daybed outside in tartan pyjamas looking deep in thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He approached, catching her eye. He stood there for longer than was reasonable trying to force words out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Say it, just say, ‘You seem nice, I’d like to get to know you better.’ or ‘Hey, how are you?’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he went with a dumb story he heard from a friend years ago about the origin of Pac man. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like an idiot. Bobby, this is why you’re going to end up alone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was cursed to fumble romantically when it came to a girl he actually liked. Pulling at clubs wasn’t difficult. He had bizarre confidence around strangers, but when he did like a girl, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really liked someone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he was too nervous to actually do something about it. Inevitably casting himself in the role of friend and dating someone he wasn’t crazy about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If a girl he liked was actually into him, he began to find things wrong with them. There had to be something wrong with them if they liked him. Or he tried too hard and they grew bored with him. His charms reverting to an annoyance for them. He was a master of self-sabotage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not anymore. He was going to do something. Tell her he liked her. Maybe she would pick him?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made her laugh, a genuine full laugh. That filled him with satisfaction. The surest way to know he liked someone was seeking out their laughter from the crowd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything in him was telling him that she was right. They would be right. It was an unfamiliar moment of clarity. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 2</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Waking up surrounded by new friends, Bobby felt ready to tackle the day. He was always an early riser, waking at dawn.  Most days skipping the gym, starting instead with a large breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe this will be the summer I start a daily gym routine. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It might be the best way to bond with the guys, they all appeared to be people that worked out considerably more than Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While frying up eggs, he caught a glimpse of Jess on the daybeds. Today, he would try to chat her up. Make a good impression. Just because her eye started on Levi, didn’t mean it would stay there.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After breakfast, the boys prepared to each go on a short date with Jess. It was equal time for them to graft, but Bobby knew he felt the pressure more than others. Rahim buried the room in cologne, but the dressing room was eerily quiet, which Bobby knew was his own fault. As the villa clown, it was his duty to keep the crew entertained. That was why he ended up on the show, why the producers had picked a scrawny hospital caterer with average looks. Today he was failing, he was nervous. Too nervous to even try to be funny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fumbling, he dressed for his date. Struggling to button his shirt, he just left it undone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s summer, not a terrible look right? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why am I so nervous? She’s just a girl. A nice, normal girl. You can do this.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Watching her as he approached, again she was lost in her thoughts, staring out into the distance. Brow furled and not enjoying the experience of sifting through men. It made him wonder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s a girl like her doing in a place like this? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She seemed too posh for this trashy show. Bobby was perfect for Love Island. But Jess? She didn’t even seem like someone who would even watch the show. She was serious, not loud and out there, but also not meek and quiet. He suspected she had a wild side beneath the surface that she’d kept contained for years. Maybe that’s how she ended up here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hate smoking sections, unless we're talking about the movie ‘The Mask’ with Jim Carey, then the smoking section is my favourite part."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just relax and stop jabbering on about nonsense and just talk to the girl I like? Instead, I make idiotic jokes and throw movie quotes out instead of compliments. At least I didn’t spill anything today. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was right about how childish the games here were, always been a nerve-racking experience for him in his younger days. Now as a mostly confident adult, they reverted Bobby to his high school existence as the class clown that no girl wanted to kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched her chatting with Erikah, wishing he could be there next to her. When he tagged her as a joke, he never expected her to tag him back. It was such a simple little thing, but it filled him with warmth.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned his direction and he shifted away, pretending he had been looking elsewhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve never been so nervous around a girl, but I also may not have liked a girl this much.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took the first turn at ‘spin the bottle’ landing directly on...Priya. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe next turn. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There was obviously something between her and Levi. They kissed with an inappropriate intensity, making Bobby uncomfortable and Lottie furious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi was a good-looking guy, but Bobby had a feeling Jess would quickly tire of him. All Levi had was a nice set of abs. Intellectually, he wasn’t at her level. He also wasn’t funny, and he knew Jess liked to laugh. The way her lips curled up into a smile at every idiotic thing he said. She wouldn’t be happy with someone who couldn’t make her smile like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She also kissed him, sauntering over confidently and kissing him softly on the lips. He was terrified the entire time she walked towards him but the nervousness left him the moment his lips touched hers. He wanted her to know he liked her, even if he hadn’t been able to say it with words. He returned her kiss and deepened it, she stiffened from surprise momentarily making him doubt his instincts before she relaxed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as her tongue met his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After, she looked flustered and it gave him hope. He had some sort of effect on her and had established himself as a potential partner. He vowed not to let himself fall into a friends-only relationship without her knowing he wanted more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a .0001 chance that she liked him back, but it was worth finding out. Rejection would hurt, but it would be nothing compared to the lifetime regret that comes with never expressing your feelings.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will tell her, eventually.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p><em><span>Of course, she picked Noah.</span></em> <em><span>I wasn’t even a consideration</span></em><span>. </span><em><span>Watching her eyes dart back and forth between Noah and Levi. She was never going to pick me. It was silly for me to think I had even a minuscule chance. </span></em></p><p>
  <span>Erikah approached after Jess picked Noah, pulling him away for a private chat. He suspected she had struck out with Rahim and wanted to secure her spot in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we’re not each other’s first choice, but I’d like to give things a try with us.” She smiled insincerely and placed her hand on his forearm, moving closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted away, letting her arm fall to her side. “I’m sorry, Erikah. I don’t see you that way, I would rather we just be friends.” He was straightforward, so unlike him, but the sooner she got it the quicker she would find someone else to couple up with. For her, he was a lost cause. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” She frowned. “That’s disappointing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know what that’s like. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 3</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know it’s irrational, but I'm handling my minor resentment towards Noah by hiding his pants. Not the best prank, but he seems orderly, like any change from his normal routine will rattle him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jess helped finish up the prank, he dropped a hint. Letting her know he liked her, that he wanted to pick her. She noticed, he saw the recognition hit her face.  But she likes Levi. Something he already knew, but the confirmation hurt.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I shouldn’t be so disappointed that a girl I met two days ago doesn’t fancy me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to pick someone else tonight. Allegra? I would rather flee the villa and survive in the wilds of Majorca. Erikah? I don’t trust her interest, she would drop me the moment someone she likes more comes in. She’s already drooling over Rahim. Lottie as friends? Maybe. If Levi picks Jess, that would be a smart move. Lottie is fiercely loyal, she would make a good partner.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes passed over Chelsea laughing maniacally at something Rahim said. From his expression, it didn’t appear intentional. Chelsea. Blonde, bubbly, beautiful Chelsea. Silly and sweet with hidden insights. Fun in a manic way. She’s exactly the girl he would casually date outside of the villa, why not here? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could like her if he really tried. Why not try? It’s better than being alone. It’s literally the name of the game. Couple up or move out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to stay long enough to make an impression on the world, become a reasonable product for investors. Having seen enough of the show, he knew he had little chance of winning. But he could thrive and leave as the lovable runner up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea was someone he could happily ride to the finals with. Maybe even after. She caught him watching and smiled widely at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would pick Chelsea. Their relationship might not go the distance but it would be fun and easy. She wasn't someone he would agonize over, worry that her head would turn. Instead of stressing that a girl he just met pied him off for a boring water polo hunk, he could have a delightful love island summer with the funnest girl in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Noah picked Jess, which was an unpleasant surprise for everyone except Noah. He shot Jess a look, he had warned her. She was a catch and would be the first girl chosen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he picked Chelsea, she squealed with delight, shooting herself into his arms. It reaffirmed things for him, he had made the correct choice in picking her. She kissed him, catching him by surprise but he eagerly reciprocated. It was nice, she was sweet and he was happy he had chosen her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the end of the night, he noticed Jess storm out. She clearly hadn’t been happy that Noah chose her. But it wasn’t because she wanted Bobby. It was Levi. She wanted Levi.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to let go of his feelings for her and try to make things work with the adorable blonde in his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he stammered, asking her what she wanted their relationship to be. Friends? More? She laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You silly boy, kiss me already.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea’s smile shone brightly in the dark. Kissing her, everything felt a little bit better. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 4</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea and Bobby took turns cracking each other up at brunch. It wasn't always intentional with Chelsea, but she had a delightful sense of humour about herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t take things too seriously. They kissed and it was nice. But his heart wasn’t totally in it. They talked the night before and decided to keep things nice and breezy between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kept looking over at Noah and Jess's table. What are they talking about? Books? Travel? They probably have a ton in common. Noah worried him more than Levi did. Noah and Jess seemed potentially more compatible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s telling her a story and she’s smiling along, not completely invested in it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s a good sign. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe there’s still a chance.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Chelsea snapped at him with her fingers, drawing his attention back to her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chelsea, my partner</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, so the bar was out of my gin, can you believe it? I couldn’t, so I snuck behind the bar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea rambled on while Bobby smiled, listening but not completely there.  </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve never wanted to be covered in blue paint more.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Watching Jess grind up on Levi was doing things to do him. He tried to look away but he was captivated by the way she moved against the polo player. He barely noticed Chelsea rubbing against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He settled in on the ground as the challenge was winding down, building a slime creature with the excess on the bottom of the paddling pool. As the monstrosity took shape, Jess joined him wanting to take part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing together, kicking slime around, it was the most fun he’d had in years. She was as silly as he sometimes. It was almost better than if he’d been covered in blue paint. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s with Levi. I shouldn’t be surprised, or hurt, but I am.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Levi pulled her into a cupboard, trying to be stealthy, but Bobby noticed. Things had been increasingly flirty between the two, but it still caught him off guard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was jealous, but also disappointed in her. She was better than sneaking around with Levi in cupboards. Why didn't she seem to know her own worth? She was better than this. Levi hadn’t ended things with Lottie, that was obvious to anyone who saw them together. Both girls deserved so much more than to be played with by him. Lottie was in the dark, but Jess' eyes were wide open and she was still into this creep. He hated Levi for placing her in this position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach hurt for her, he had been cheated on before. He knew how much it hurt but he’d never seen the other side in quite this way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was disappointed in himself, still into this girl and wanting more for her. He wanted her to want him, but she didn’t. Instead, she was running around with Levi, a situation doomed to bring her heartbreak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked for Chelsea. Seeking out her lips and wrapping his arms around her helped distract him from his worries. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 5</b>
</p><p>
  
  <span>New guys, thank goodness. At least thank goodness for Gary. Gary wasn’t the sort of guy Bobby would have hung out with outside of the villa- too much of a lad, into sports, the gym- but here he was a perfect friend for Bobby. Outgoing, not quite matching Bobby’s own energy level but adding more enthusiasm in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby may have been the only one of the bunch excited for the new arrivals. He hadn’t quite clicked with any of the other men. He had fun winding Jake up about baking things and teasing Rahim about superheroes, but he found himself gravitating towards the girls, which wasn’t that unusual. He’d always had a mixed group of friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe these girls? So fit, I’m shook,” Gary exclaimed the moment the girls left to presumably have a similar discussion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked over at the girls, laughing together on the daybeds. They were probably chatting about the new guys and who fancies who. An interesting conversation to be sure. He was very curious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you going for? Seriously, now that the girls are gone.” Bobby asked Gary and Kassam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men exchanged a look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s face turned downward hiding his scowl, amusing Bobby. Bobby didn’t dislike many people, but he had grown a healthy animosity towards Levi. Partially due to jealousy, but more out of disgust for the way he was using both girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps, we can turn it into a game. A challenge, as the show would say. The winner gets the lovely Wiccan queen Lottie. The losers? Covered in slime and sent on their way.” Bobby suggested with a smirk, unable to avoid directing it towards Levi.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I think I’m going for Chelsea then.” Gary laughed heartily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just glad neither of you are into Jess. Things are finally turning around for us,” Noah offered, in a surprising moment. He wasn’t usually chatty, he wanted them to know. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s with Jess. Really with her now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby risked a look at Levi, whose jaw was clenched. This was not good news to him either. Maybe it was for the best. Noah was better for her than Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah was the sort of person who deserved to get the girl. Boring but nice. Of course, Jess wanted that. It was probably why she picked Noah on the second day. She didn’t want to rock the boat, preferring someone safe and predictable. That wasn’t Levi, but it wasn’t Bobby either. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“If you were an animal, which would you be?” Chelsea asked him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby carefully pondered the question before answering. “Cat. But a unique big cat. There’s this rare Scottish wildcat. That would be me. Or a monkey. Or maybe a penguin. What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A white fox.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fierce.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And beautiful. Completely captures my essence, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He liked Chelsea but didn’t see things going much beyond where they were. Their relationship was fun but superficial, never connecting beneath the surface. She was delightful but he wasn’t drawn to her the way he was with Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relaxing by the pool talking nonsense with Chelsea, he knew that they would be able to remain friends when things ended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he wanted to prank the newbies he immediately looked to Jess for help, knowing she would be a willing accomplice. She pretended to be serious, but deep down she was as silly as he. She had an infectious laugh that charmed but often caught herself, replacing it with a more stoic expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was secretly a goof, I don't think she realizes how fun she is. We aren’t that different.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He found himself studying her, trying to figure out her secrets. She said so little about how she felt about things. It intrigued him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made her cupcakes, dressing up for the welcoming party, wanting desperately to choke out the words, “I like you.” Even if she didn’t feel the same way, they needed to be spoken. He had suffered through crushes on friends before, but never quite with the intensity of now, living in such close quarters, often so close that he knew her scent, sensing her before he saw her. The sound of her laughter filling him with pride, satisfaction at being the one to create such joy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if it was just as friends, he needed to figure her out and keep her in his life. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 6</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Pancakes.” Bobby shot out of bed. “I’m making pancakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, can I help?” Lottie volunteered to be his sous chef and they quickly went to work. Bobby hadn’t spent that much time with Lottie but enjoyed her when she was in a chipper mood. Which today she was. Bobby wasn’t sure why, but he chose to appreciate the Lottie-calm while it lasted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me make witchy designs,” Lottie giggled excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only after people have been served. But I like your enthusiasm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby caught a glimpse of Jess moving past the kitchen. She rushed by, looking upset and he noticed Levi heading in the opposite direction.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Odd, but I’m staying out of it. The Levi/Jess disaster is bound to implode soon. I want to stay away from it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It still bothered him that they were together, or were? He wasn’t quite sure what their deal was. Or what was going on with her and Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook off his jealous concern, it is what it is. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s making a mess of things, as much as I like her, I can’t save her from it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The drama of Levi and Jess came out during the Mean Tweets challenge, and it was worse than Bobby had feared. It was clear from her reaction that it was more than a kiss or even small bits. She’d had sex with Levi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching her as the news came out, all he wanted was to shield her from Lottie’s wrath. Even if it was what she deserved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Jess a good person? He wondered now. And what does it say about him that he still cares deeply for her if she’s not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she didn’t make excuses for her actions. Maybe she’s a good person who made some mistakes. We’ve all been there.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I know I have.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was lurking near the bedroom, hoping to avoid Lottie’s fury when he bumped right into her. Lottie practically knocked him over storming down the stairs, visibly seething with anger as tears glistened in her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glared at him before continuing her exit. He considered following, checking on her. She was the wronged party after all. But he knew what had probably caused her to flee down the stairs with such fervour. Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi was hiding in the kitchen, so it had to be Jess. He climbed the stairs, hoping he could find the words to help her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held her, tried his best to comfort her. Enjoying just being close to her, satisfied by the way her body relaxed against his. Her breathing calmed and he knew he had helped her. Her vulnerability and flaws were enchanting. He felt pulled deeper under her spell, willingly giving in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She made a reference to the shire, he had noticed her doing that every once in a while. Making little references to ‘Lord of the Rings’. She never seemed to expect them to be picked up on, just sprinkling them into her world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had only seen it once, a mate once forced him to watch them one long weekend. He knew it enough to get her reference and make one back. She smiled in the sweetest way, looking at him with complete adoration. He hoped it meant something to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered why Jess liked it. Why did it mean so much to her? He wanted to know her better. Maybe watch it together someday? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 7</b>
</p><p>
  <span>It was his favourite challenge- Kiss and Tell.  Jess kissed him. Priya too for longer than expected. It took him by surprise but didn’t give it much further thought. He didn’t take Priya too seriously. But Jess’ kiss stuck with him, it felt like more than a fun kiss between friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He guessed her secret, discovered something about her, noticed her little jokes. It felt like an understanding between them or a reward for knowing her so well. It was beginning to feel like Jess was deliberately teasing him. Did she know the effect she had on him? If it wasn't mutual why did she linger so often? He would catch her watching him, he did the same but he was better at doing it discreetly. Probably due to a lifetime of pretending to not like the girl he fancied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could he continue things with Chelsea knowing there was a chance she returned his feelings? Her relationship with Noah was odd, Bobby had taken to observing them often. With Noah, she usually had a polite smile and glassed over eyes as he rambled on. She seemed set on the guy but never looked like a girl smitten with a new beau. They had the appearance of friends, but she never lit up around Noah the way she did around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was what he wanted to think? Pushing his own narrative on her, creating the idea that they were connecting more than she thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He told her about his parent's divorce. He never talked to anyone about that. It meant something to him, that he shared something so personal with her. She shared a bit of her past too. Their shared relationship with drama and parental conflicts had bonded them. Kindred spirits of pain and insecurity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was something real there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat beside her as the group hid out from Lottie and Allegra engaged in an epic battle on the lawn. He caught her watching him again, she flushed, quickly turning away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It has to mean something, why else does she look at me like that? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he had more than a moment to ponder, she grabbed Noah’s hand, whispered something in his ear, and led him upstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It left him jealous, but more than anything confused. He couldn’t shake that nagging feeling that there was more than friendship between them and that she felt it too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 8</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stormed upstairs, needing to be alone. She was right, he was a joke. Everyone saw him for what he was. Had he resorted to jokes for so long that it took him over it was now what he was? A joke. Someone no one could take seriously. The boy who cried ‘wocka wocka’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted Jess to take him seriously.  If she let herself, she would see him for who he was underneath it all. He wasn’t all jokes. He thought she knew that, he had tried to let her see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He relaxed and opened up, but she still only saw him as a joke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door burst open, and his heart sank as he took in Levi. For a moment, he hoped Jess had come to reassure him, tell him how wrong she was about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he was met by her douchey ex. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men stared each other down with an unusual intensity given how little they had interacted. This was the first time they had even been alone. Or really ever spoken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re here, I've been meaning to chat with you. You need to back off.” Levi moved closer, continuing to watch Bobby aggressively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From Jess. You’ve been hanging all over here, wasting her time. You’re just someone she feels sorry for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is that any of your business? And what are you? Just a guy she regrets fucking.” Bobby reciprocated Levi’s movement, lessening the gap between them until they were almost nose-to-nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, but that’s still more than you ever will be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. Maybe not?” Bobby shrugged. “Does that bother you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi scowled. It did bother him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can watch on TV, enjoy my attempts from the couch,” Bobby smirked, remembering that Levi would be heading home tonight. Doomed to be the second islander dumped from the villa.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will. You’re a clown, I’ll enjoy watching you make a fool of yourself, pining way for a girl who knows exactly how too good she is for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess interrupted, Levi fled and Bobby clamped up. Still hurt by her words and now taking in what Levi had said. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does she think she’s too good for me? Is that what’s happening here? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby said nothing, but he sensed his expression gave him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you do, I can tell. But I wish you would just admit it,” Chelsea said, poking him on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...do. But it’s not going anywhere. Obviously,” he sighed. “I want her to pick me tonight, but I know she won't. It’ll be Noah. Can I pick you later?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I refuse to be your second choice, but we can couple up as friends if I can't get Gary. No hard feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Chels. I’m sorry, I did..” Bobby paused, searching for the words that would make things better, to let Chelsea know how much he enjoyed her friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cool. I prefer Gary anyway.” She shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Chelsea is an incredible person, but not the person for me. And vice versa. We both knew that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a surprise when Jess picked Noah but it still left him empty and disappointed. He hadn’t any hope, going into the recoupling with the lowest of expectations but still felt miserable as the word ‘Noah’ left her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was nothing to how gutted he felt watching Noah and Jess walk hand in hand to the hideaway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that gave him solace was the vacant look on her face, she didn't look nervous. It was an expression of regret. She wasn’t happy about spending the night alone with Noah and it gave him a tiny bit of hope. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hope is a dangerous thing for someone like me to have.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It tricked him, teasing something wonderful before it abandoned him leaving him alone and miserable. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 9</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby!” Priya called out. “Come over here.” She gestured for him to join her on the daybed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He plopped down, spreading out on the bed. “What’s up, buttercup?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please be serious. This is important. We need to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes, nothing here was actually serious. It was all play drama, which was still exhausting to manoeuvre through. Bobby pulled himself up, preparing to leave the daybed and retreat to the drama-free pool. “Priya, I don-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s about Jess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hesitating, he stood still. “What about her?” He asked after letting the silence linger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya had said the only name that could have propelled him to participate in this scheme he called the ‘stop-ness project.’ A fun play on their couple name and the Lochness monster. He needed to add some levity to their shady proceedings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They concocted a plan to test Noah. Bobby would have felt guilty if he hadn’t been certain Noah would fail. Allegra was a lot of things, but dishonest wasn’t one of them. He was nervous about including her in the plan, but Noah was too suspicious of Priya to trust her advances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra was already involved. She confided in Priya that Noah had been complaining about Jess, how cold and unresponsive she was. Hinting that he was open to recoupling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had the nerve to call her frigid. Noah needed to be stopped. He had tricked Jess into thinking he was a nice, boring guy but he was a sleaze wrapped in plain wrapping paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess thought Noah was a catch, she was wrong about them and any mythological future. He owed it to her to help her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated this, the drama, but it was important. If Noah wasn’t loyal, Jess deserved to know before wasting any more time. If she found out about the plot, maybe she would be mad? But it was worth it. Hopefully, she would be grateful in the end. He hoped no one would tell her. That Allegra would keep her mouth shut until the deed was done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only question they hadn’t answered was when Noah cheated, who would tell her? Would she trust it coming from Priya or Allegra? Should they leak it to Chelsea?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it should be him. She may shoot the messenger, but this wasn’t about him, it was about helping Jess realize Noah wasn’t good for her. He was being noble. A good friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The plan went smoothly, perfectly. Until it didn’t. Noah succumbed to Allegra’s temptation but someone had leaked the information and now almost everyone in the villa knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess knew. Someone had told her about their scheme before they had a chance to.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Priya hid out on the terrace before the party, commiserating over their shared mistake. Priya was an enigma. She was kind when it suited her, selfish, fun, and savvy. Bobby liked her but there was something volatile about her. He related to her ability to switch to victim when the situation warranted. She was vulnerable, seeking affirmation that she hadn’t been wrong. Which Bobby could give her. Things may have gone wrong but Noah’s actions reaffirmed they were right to test him. Jess deserved better. Maybe not him, but better. It was only now muddled by how the information had gotten to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Following her up to the terrace, he had no idea what he would say. She was furious with him, but he hoped would understand once he explained why they had done it. The plan worked perfectly, she just found out about it in an awkward way. Bobby wasn’t sure who to be mad at about it, how the information had even gotten to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter much now, she found out, and was angry with everyone involved. She yelled, and he reacted defensively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She should be grateful, they had done this for her. It didn’t matter that he liked her. That wasn’t the reason. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That wasn't the reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. She’s right.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I didn’t do it for her, I did it for me. Because I want better for her. Even if it’s not with me, I think she deserves better than Noah. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He apologized and she kissed him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She likes me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 10 </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing can ruin how happy I feel today. She kissed me, she likes me back. I just need to play this cool and not ruin things by becoming clingy and desperate. Don’t be needy, play it casual. Don’t push, she didn’t like that about Noah. I need to show her that I can be me and be the right person for her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve never felt so confident about a person. She likes me and wants to be with me. We’ve crossed over the important hurdle. Everything else will fall into place.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, there will be a recoupling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And we can be together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby had bonded with Priya over their love of music and had taken to rap battles. Priya had quickly become a great friend, one of his best mates in the villa. She had a self-deprecating confidence that he appreciated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t completely surprised that Jess was at all threatened, it wasn’t the first time. Flirty by nature, he tended to have a healthy mixed group of friends. He was reassured by how transparent her jealousy was and how easily they were able to talk about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reaffirmed that she was right for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 12</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Sneaking off to the terrace to cuddle and chat had become Bobby’s favourite activities. She was still coupled up with Noah, and he with Chelsea, but those relationships were done. Jess and Bobby now were stuck in a holding pattern.  A quick kiss, hands kept in chaste places- he didn’t always take things slow, but this felt nice. There was a care to which they treated each other as if their relationship was something of value that needed to be savoured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had the whole summer. And maybe the rest of their lives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just sort of feel like I’m on drugs when I’m with you. Not that I do drugs, unless you do drugs in which case I do drugs all the time,” he said to her one afternoon, with his head in her lap as they talked together on the terrace.  And it was true, she had this effect on him, just being in her presence lifted his mood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed and cuddled against him, opening up about her marijuana habit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, Bobby had to stifle a laugh watching Noah and Jess attempt to build a tent. She was trying so hard to not be frustrated with him, she caught him watching and burst into laughter at the absurdity, collapsing on one of the tents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every little moment between them felt special and he appreciated each one. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 13 </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching her swimming laps, he was left wondering. Did she used to watch Levi swimming laps?  Is she thinking about him now as she swims? Feeling connected to him in a way that she hadn’t when he was here? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up, Bobby. Are you going to worry that she’s thinking about Noah every time she reads a boring book?  Get out of your head, don’t let yourself come up with excuses and ruin this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby smiled, as he picked Priya. It was frustrating that he wasn’t able to pick Jess, but he couldn’t hold it against Gary. He had to pick someone and they hadn’t exactly been open about their ‘whatever it was’ style relationship. He felt disappointed, but not too worried as he picked his friend to couple up with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess seemed slightly more concerned. He tried his best to assuage her concerns, she was still worried about Priya, wanted them to be official. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wanted her, whatever they were going to be. He was fine waiting,  holding her hand until she was ready for more.  She was enough for him. This girl he just met, she was everything. He didn't know it was possible to care for someone this much so quickly. The island had cast some sort of spell on him, he felt things he’d only dreamed of from his days of watching shitty rom-coms on the telly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed him, fervently wanting him as badly as he did her. Being with her was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Perfectly matched, he felt comfortable doing things he’d never dreamed of with other girls. And he felt her pushing herself further with him. Two people intimately finding themselves through each other. Bobby had already thought Jess was the perfect girl for him, the fact the sex was perfect too was a bonus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as soon as it was over, he ruined it. And then she ruined it. He told a dumb joke, she expressed doubts about their future.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve never had a night turn so quickly, I thought we were on the same page and it quickly fell apart. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why was I so sensitive? Why doesn't she take me seriously? What’s wrong with me? I guess I know. I’ve always known, but it hurts knowing the person you care about thinks that way too. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do I like her so much? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was frustrated that she didn’t see them quite like he did. Was he wrong for seeing their future? Or was she for thinking they were mismatched?  Each left to only trust their instincts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what they had just experienced together, how could she have doubts? It clouded his mind with new doubts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she was right?</span>
  <em>
    <span> I’m not enough for her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 14 </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby and the rest of the guys left the villa and arrived at Casa Amor to fend off the temptations of new girls. Before leaving, he said goodbye to Jess and she said to crack on, give it a shot with someone new, and that she would do the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt and he lashed out, leaving things on a sour, awful note, regretting it by the time they arrived at the new villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I deserve better than Jess. But she’s still the person I want to be with. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The new girls were nice, but he was reminded of how he felt on day one. As each girl came out, none of them felt right. Now he knew why, none of them were Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen was short, pretty, blonde, kind, and serious. She was a less fun version of Jess with blonde hair. His jokes didn’t quite land, but he liked her. If it wasn’t for his feelings for Jess, she was someone he could have liked. Instead, she felt like a pale imitation of the girl he fancied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jo was slim and athletic with short blonde hair, was energetic and wild, obnoxiously so. She was confident to the point of narcissism and quickly fixated on Rohan. She kept sticking out her tongue in a way that was possibly supposed to be sexual. Whatever it was, it wasn’t working for Rohan who politely declined her advances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shannon seemed cool, with a wry sense of humour and a matter of fact attitude. She was a poker player, and was hyper-focused and chill at the same time. She bonded right away with Jo offering her advice, which was promptly ignored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marisol took to dissecting the group, picking them apart and pointing out their flaws. She was a law student but seemed to be playing psychiatrist. She was beautiful with tawny skin, bright red lips, and heavy eye makeup under her glasses.  She was gorgeous but he wondered how different she would look at the end of the night, without the layers of makeup. If he was more like Marisol he would have looked for motivations in her psyche for why she wore so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iona had a cool angry vibe that reminded him a bit of Lottie. Her pink hair was almost identical to Lottie’s hair colour when she arrived in the villa. He wondered if it was intentional, bringing in a doppelganger to tempt Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hope immediately launched herself at Noah, it was impressive how quickly she arrived and cast herself in the role of Noah’s soulmate. Noah seemed equally smitten, and by the end of the first day of Casa Amor, they established themselves as the new power couple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still wasn’t sure what to do about Jess. He still liked her a lot. And despite everything, he still saw a future for them. She couldn’t picture it, but he could see it so clearly and was willing to put in the work to help her see it too. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby watched Gary carefully, opening up the suitcase Jess packed for him. It was all he had of her, knowing she had gone through Gary’s things and picked out items to send him. Why had she chosen that shirt for Gary instead of another? Was it random? He felt desperate for anything that reminded him of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary smiled pulling a lone tarot card out of his suitcase. Lottie must have placed it in there.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe Jess packed something for me?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She had to know that Lottie did. He opened his suitcase to find nothing. Other than his clothes and toiletries. He wasn’t on her mind. He suspected as much, but the confirmation still hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left the bedroom feeling dejected, again. Wanting to be with someone, hoping for any sign those feelings were reciprocated, settling for any kernels of affection thrown his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was right earlier when he told her he deserved better. He did, but he didn’t want better. He still wanted Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he sat by the pool, legs in the water, one of the new girls approached. Jen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, handsome.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who me?” He looked around dramatically as she laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you.” She settled in next to him.“The girls and I were chatting about the logistics, would you be up for sharing a bed tonight?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As friends?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking it could be a bit more than that. But I’m fine with friends for now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m going to crash outside, get some headspace. I’m a bit all over the place today.” He looked ahead, staring into the water as they sat together in silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you want to talk about?” she asked. Her blue eyes pierced him with genuine concern. Jen was a nice, sweet girl. Too nice for him. And posh. Just like Jess. She deserved better than him. Just like Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m good. Just too many bodies in that cramped room. Plus with Noah’s snoring, I’m better off outside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I can join you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. That’s nice, but sorry, no.” He looked away. “I’m not really in a place for that. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cool, I get it. Let me know if you change your mind. Jess is pretty lucky. I hope she knows that.” She kissed him on the cheek and left him alone, wondering what Jess was thinking about them. Certainly not that she was lucky to have him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Had she thought of him at all since he left? </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you staying loyal too?” Gary patted him on the shoulder before settling in on the bed next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so. She said we should give it a shot with the new people. Why aren’t I?” he asked, feeling frazzled enough to open up about his feelings. “Do you think I should?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not if you fancy her more than these other girls.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do. She said to crack on, but I’m not feeling it. I just want her back.” Bobby sighed laying back onto the bed. “We left things in such a weird place, I’m not even sure if she even likes me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sorry I picked her, I wouldn’t have if I knew you two were hooking up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that say about us, that you didn't even know we were together? She’s given me every reason to move on, but I can’t. I’m stuck on her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game.  Break out the L-word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lesbian?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary said. “The other L-word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lesbians?” He sighed again, exasperated with his situation.  “I’m not even ready to think that yet. Even if...I dunno.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You actually do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I think I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 15</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Not knowing what was happening at the home villa was driving Bobby a bit crazy. Jake was in a foul mood but the rest of the guys were relaxed and having fun.  Gary was happily set on Lottie but still openly enjoying the advances of Marisol who was revealed to be a former best friend of Lottie’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco was grafting on all the girls, quickly moving from Jo to Iona within a day. Rohan didn’t seem stressed about Chels and began giving headstand lessons, failing to teach Bobby and succeeding with Jake. Bobby enjoyed Rohan’s energy in the villa, he was a fun guy and was even served to lighten Jake up a bit. Jake was someone Bobby struggled to connect with at times. Maybe some light competition overcooking? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, it was something else that Bobby couldn’t quite place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby had partnered with Jen on activities and challenges throughout the day. He liked her, he could have really liked her. But she wasn’t Jess. Maybe he could have made it work with the fashion blogger, at least for a short while. He sensed they weren’t compatible in the long run. She would tire of his jokes and he would feel stifled by the pressure he felt. It was a familiar tale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to push Jess out of his mind. There was nothing he could do but worry that she had found someone new. Better. That perfect fantasy partner she dreamed of, that he had failed to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he had joked less, maybe she would have trusted in them? Had he even told her how much he liked her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t remember. All he remembered was that he told her he deserved better. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He tries too hard to be funny, sometimes acts like a child, dresses like a mess, I could go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess kissing someone. Once. Twice. Now him loosening her bikini strap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby couldn't take his eyes from the screen, the sinking feeling in his gut overwhelmed him. His legs were shaky, an instability hit him in his core, but he couldn't seem to move. He was entranced by the nightmare in front of him. Jess moved on. He had to have known it was a possibility. Why didn’t he see it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby forced a smile and made a dumb joke about Priya and Talia each trying to climb Tai. Anything to mask how gutted he felt. Quickly, he shuffled away, ending up hiding in an isolated corner of Casa Amor. There was a swinging bench, but he opted for the floor, wanting to stay grounded. He heard footsteps heading towards him and looked up to see Jen. She smiled sadly at him and joined him on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reaching for his hand, she gently squeezed it. “I’m sorry. About Jess. The guys were telling us. Are you ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? Of course, aces.” He forced a familiar sad smile, meeting her eyes, and sighed. “I shouldn't be surprised. She told me she was going to give things a shot. I just hoped.” He paused. “It’s dumb, she’s probably right. We’re better off as friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why does that still feel like a lie? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t see it coming, but Jen kissed him, and he kissed her back, pushing all other worries out of his head. He deserved to be happy. Maybe he could be happy with Jen? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Day 17</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The next couple of days in the villa were nice. With Jess out of his head and Jen replacing her, things were fine. Easy. But he knew it wouldn’t last. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re heading back to the villa. I’ve made the tough decision already, letting Jen know I was taking her back. Once I kissed her, there was no turning back. Now, I’m overwhelmed with anxiety. Knowing I’m going to see her with him. The guy from the video. At least I have Jen. She’s nice and sweet, and she likes me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He held tightly onto Jen’s hand, eyes forced ahead avoiding eye contact. He would have to see her soon, all cosy with some smooth guy who was a million times better for her than Bobby. Someone she deemed acceptable. As much as he wanted to be, she never thought he was enough for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His turn was next. They left him for last, he wondered why. Last usually meant drama. Then he heard voices raised. Jess and Priya. Priya must have switched. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is Jess upset? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He reminded himself he was with Jen now. The girl who was holding his hand. She may have been using him just to get back into the villa. But it didn’t matter. He supposed it should, he should care more. But for now, he was choosing to be selfish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, he forced the most enthusiastic smile he could muster as he walked out to greet the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught Jess from the corner of his eyes and quickly focused on the others. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t look at her, she doesn’t matter to you. You’ve moved on. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Avoiding her, greeting the others, he felt like he was playing a role. He had acted a bit in his younger days, he knew how to put on a show and today he was still Bobby. But happy and smitten Bobby. Not sad and brokenhearted that a girl dumped him for a Korean model. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In his peripheral, he saw her. She was alone. He avoided lingering, but there was no mistaking it. She came back alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Have I made a huge mistake?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Doubts swarmed in his head. He looked back towards her but she was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back on the charm, greeting the new guys. Priya had brought back someone, a tall drink of water named Tai. Each was relieved that they hadn’t left the other vulnerable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so glad you switched, Jess had a hissy fit on me for bringing this one back.” Priya laughed gesturing to Tai who wrapped his giant arms around her. </span>
</p><p><em><span>I need to talk to her, figure out where her heads at.</span></em> <em><span>Why wouldn’t she have switched? Why was she upset with Priya? Jess picked before her, Priya couldn’t have taken the guy she liked. The guy she was with in the video was different. </span></em><span> Bobby spotted him lurking near the exit in conversation with another newbie with long blonde hair. </span></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why didn’t she switch? Was it because of Lottie? Not wanting to leave Gary vulnerable. Or does she still…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She can’t, right? If she does, what can I do? I picked Jen, I owe it to her to give things a try. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But Jess. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><em><span>She means a lot to me.</span></em> <em><span>Too much. </span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t let her go yet, as awkward as it will be with Jen, I can’t just give up. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She reappeared a few minutes later with Lottie, looking tired and unhappy in new clothes. Her eyes looked red as if she had been crying. Jen intercepted her.</span>
  <em>
    <span> What are they talking about? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He watched nervously, overwhelmed at how confused he now felt.  </span>
</p><p><em><span>She’s jealous, she can barely look at Jen.</span></em> <em><span>That should make me happy, but instead, I have that sinking feeling that I made the wrong decision. </span></em></p><p>
  <span>Jen approached him as Jess darted in the other direction heading for the video guy he had seen her with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She seems really nice,” Jen said as she wrapped her arms around his neck looking up at him with interest. “How does it feel, being back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed, ”Good,” his voice squeaked. “It’s great seeing everybody again.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Resisting the urge to look back at Jess, he focused instead on the lovely blonde in front of him. “What do you think? Like your new home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I could get used to it.” She smiled and pecked him on the lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he tried to get Jess’ attention and pull her aside for a talk she avoided him, fleeing towards Priya. Is she mad? Hurt? The uncertainty was driving him crazy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, as the giant group of islanders fought for beds, he noticed her absence. Was she outside? Would it be strange if he left to talk to her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen squealed, stepping into their bed. “It’s our first night officially coupled up, babe.” She kissed him on the cheek, before settling in with her eye mask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was relieved at the boundary placed, not ready to move beyond kissing. Especially tonight, when all he could think about was why Jess hadn’t switched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited until after the lights went out and Jen seemed asleep. Quietly, he got out of bed and slunk downstairs. Every step filled with desperate nervousness. Hopefully, she wasn’t sleeping yet.  He needed to know what was going on with her, but with everything going on, he hadn’t realized how much he had missed her. The sound of her laugh, the way her nose crinkled up when she looked at him as if he was crazy. These things haunted him in Casa Amor and now that she was so close, he felt her absence in his life more than ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just seeing her might be enough to satisfy him, but desperately he wanted to feel her body against his.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were so many questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there was Jen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he arrived at the daybeds, he saw something he didn’t expect. Jess cuddled up with Jake, looking content. Asleep in his arms. His chiselled face nestled into her neck like it was made to be there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach, which had been in, knots all day, now felt like it had exploded. He felt the pain in every part of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How stupid I’d been. Jess and Jake? Why didn’t I see it? Have they been sneaking around this whole time? Just like she had with Levi? No. It doesn’t make sense. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But when did it happen? Why?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted answers, but I’ve only got more questions. My life has turned into a shittier version of LOST. Without the fun of polar bears and time travel. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been right to bring back Jen. He let himself backtrack, but he was silly to think Jess had been pining for him.  That she might care for him, feeling even a smattering of what he felt for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he knew. She was with Jake. He was with Jen. She had moved on, it was time for him to do the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returned to bed, ignoring the ache in his chest, and stroked Jen’s hair lightly before falling asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, he knew.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. But in the end it's only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Another morning waking up outside, chilled by the brisk night air- this time next to Jake. She had fallen asleep in his arms but in the night, shifted to the other side of the bed. He lay, facing away from her, snoring softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Last night burned in her head, the reality worse than any nightmares she experienced being chased through the woods by a creature she had wronged. Bobby had switched, partnered up with someone new and today she would have to live in that world. A world where he’s smitten with another girl. In the light of day, it didn’t hurt any less. The thought of seeing them together made her want to spiral and jump in the pool again. Her chest ached with regret, if she had handled things differently they would be together right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was pointless to dwell on her mistakes. She could only move on and try to do things differently in the future, only hoping to have learned </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>from her pile of mistakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wasn’t in the mood for a nice peaceful reflection of the day. She didn’t deserve a cuppa, to enjoy the morning with her toes in the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shouldn’t be here at all. It was a mistake. Someone kinder, better, more beautiful should be in this place. Why had she been chosen? Thousands of people had applied and they picked her. Why?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because they thought she was something she wasn’t. A nice sweet do-gooder. They had to have realized their mistake by now, that she didn’t deserve love and didn't deserve her spot in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Forcing her way through a morning routine, she felt empty. The water seemed less blue today. Her tea didn’t quite taste right.  A shower failed to boost her mood. She grabbed the first bikini she saw, barely noticing the red colour. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What does it matter what I wear? What I do? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe breakfast will help? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking towards the kitchen, Jess took a quick veer to the right once she spotted them. Bobby canoodling with Jen. Standing behind her, kissing her neck as they made breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck me. Another knife in the gut.  I suppose it’s what I deserve. Maybe I’ll get lucky and be sent home later so I don’t have to suffer through this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl council,” Lottie called out. “Terrace in five minutes Jess,” Lottie continued, drawing Bobby and Jen’s attention to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since he returned, she looked at him. Really looked. His eyes met hers and she smiled at him, pained. Bobby shifted uncomfortably moving slightly away from Jen. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He likes her and he feels guilty. We’ll have to talk today, let him off the hook. Try to be friends? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess averted her eyes and turned to leave for the terrace. Breakfast would wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just original girls, sorry,” Lottie smirked at Jen, discouraging the newcomer from following. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe the next one, I have a feeling I'm going to be here a while,” Jen said, running a finger down Bobby’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m going to be sick. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She could feel the bile rising in her throat. The queasy feeling in her stomach was becoming more common.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lady time sounded amazing right now, particularly lady time sans the new girls. It wouldn’t hurt to poke around to see how Priya’s feeling about Jake. Jess practically skipped to the terrace, passing a line of islanders waiting for the shower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After almost an hour, all the girls gathered on the terrace. Stern and serious Lottie stood before them, assuming the role of leader as she brought up the reason she had called the meeting. “What happened when the boys were at Casa Amor? A lot happened last night, we need to figure it all out. Confirm who was loyal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Lottie, Gary came back alone and she’s still worried something might have happened with him and one of the girls. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter?” Priya asked, a flash of annoyance on her face. “We had fun, the boys had fun. Everyone made their decisions, it’s time for us to move on. There aren’t any big mysteries to uncover here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, I’m curious about some things,” Chelsea chirped. “Why did Noah switch? Why didn’t Jake? And Bobby and blonde Jess. What’s up with that? I thought he was completely in love with Jess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blonde Jess?” Allegra asked, incredulously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, come on. He basically picked a blonde version of her. We all see it right?” Chelsea said, looking for support from the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She does look an awful lot like you,” Talia said. “Seems like a pretty big coincidence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even your names are similar,” Lottie added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't think there’s anything to it.” Allegra shrugged. “Boy has a type, that’s all. Boring nice girls.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s probably right. Except Jen is a genuinely nice girl. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talia, how are you feeling about things? With Noah?” Jess asked, eager to shift the conversation away from her train wreck of a love life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia waved her arms in exaggerated exasperation. “I want to be annoyed, but I’m not feeling it. I was itching to get into it last night, but Hope and I talked a bit. She’s actually pretty cool. Maybe it will work out with them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so,” Jess agreed. “I want Noah to be happy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anyone you’re going to go for? Maybe Rohan? You two are single,” Lottie pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe? I’m open to whatever comes my way.” Talia shrugged. She was cool that way, going with the flow, accepting love if it came her way but not obsessing over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a nice way to be,” Jess said, wishing she was a bit more like Talia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s too bad Jake didn’t find someone,” Priya said wistfully. “He’s such a hunk, I don’t know why he hasn’t clicked with anyone yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Priya. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t things work with you and Jake?” Jess asked, grateful Priya had given her a natural segue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we were well matched. He’s not really my type and I think he felt the same. Never seemed to fancy me much.” Priya shrugged. “His loss. I don’t know where things are going with Tai, but he’s fun. I need that after being coupled up with Jake for so long.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Jake. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We still need to make sure the boys stayed loyal. Back on task girls.” Lottie raised her voice, drawing focus back to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, I’ll ask around about Gary. He’s my partner after all,” Jess said, turning to leave. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This was all just about Lottie wanting answers.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. And I'll try to find out what’s going on with Bobby and J-lite.” Lottie offered Jess a rare warm smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really don’t have to. I know what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you talked to him?” Lottie’s brow was raised in a way that felt intimidating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess didn’t answer, choosing to silently confirm that she hadn’t. Instead of talking to him like a normal person, she dodged him, avoiding the problem.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, then you don‘t know what happened,” Lottie continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, I just...does it matter? It doesn’t change anything. I’m going to go get the scoop on Gary.” Jess waved, quickly making her exit from the terrace. She wasn’t in the mood to be lectured on how to handle things with Bobby. Having already ruined things, why should she humiliate herself by asking around for answers? She knew the only thing that mattered.  Bobby found someone better and he’s happy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was pointless to dissect it further. Jess wanted to skip ahead to being over him and return to being friends. Maybe she could avoid him until then?  Battle that sick feeling in her stomach and wait for it to go away.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How is it I’ve never felt this way before? Pined for someone. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much? It’s unfamiliar and stressful, this feels like something I should have experienced in high school. I suppose I'm better equipped to handle it now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Have I really never loved anyone before? Maybe not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fill my life with distractions, so many that I’m too busy to think about him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s impossible here.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All I have here is time to obsess over my lost love and existential quarter-life crisis. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess found Rohan lounging by himself near the pool, eyes closed as he nodded along to music only he could hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is what it’s come to, creating our own strange sources of entertainment. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey buddy, how’s it going?” she asked, settling in next to him in an adjacent lounger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going,” he said with a wide smile that didn’t match his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel you. Anything you want to talk about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan pulled himself up, sitting on the edge of the lounger. “What is there to say? The only girl I liked here picked someone else. She seems happy and I’m glad for her. I can tell how guilty she feels, trying to force us to be friends. That almost makes it worse. Tim seems cool, and I'm sure we'll be friends. But where does it leave me? Single, probably going to be dumped soon.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair in frustration.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was worried at first, but I think you’ll be fine. There are so many single people, they can’t send everyone home.” Jess reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. I guess we’ll see. Hopefully soon, being in limbo sucks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Rohan, I hope you get to stay. Maybe you could couple up with Lottie or Talia? Or Jake?” Jess added, unsure of what his response would be. It was worth a mention, just in case…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think he would?” Rohan asked, brow furrowed in thought as if considering the prospect for the first time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not, you’re fit. I could see it.” Jess smiled at her friend, wondering if there could be sparks between him and her other friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan looked away, momentarily lost in thought. “I never really thought about it, huh.  Anyway, what’s with you today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on a mission for answers. And I think you’re the guy who has them.” Jess winked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” He raised a sceptical eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you. Specifically, I’ve been sent to find out what Gary was up to at Casa Amor. I don’t think Lottie has anything to be worried about, but she still is. Classic Lottie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I don’t know…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed. “Did you make some sort of ‘What happens in Casa Amor stays in Casa Amor’ deal?."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sort of, yeah,” he answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn't seem fair considering the entire world knows what happened. Everyone but us,” Jess pointed out. It was true, the viewers at home, Lottie’s family and friends knew, but Lottie was in the dark. And she was the person who deserved the truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan looked away, contemplating the situation. “Ok, but don’t tell anyone I told you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise.” She held out her pinkie to Rohan to solidify the agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok...Gary didn’t get with any girls but he was pretty open about considering it. He was flirty and loving all the attention, and I got the impression he thought sticking with Lottie was the safest move. Like it would look bad if he betrayed her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not bad, we’re all being a little bit strategic about things.” Jess shrugged, not seeing the big deal, but also knowing that Lottie may not see it that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow. “We are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It blew up in my face, but yeah. I guess I was. With Lucas. It’s fine though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not.” Jess let out a bitter laugh. “And if you couple up with Jake I may need another plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Jake?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just friends, but yeah. If things don’t work out with him with anyone else.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a lost cause,” Jess said solemnly, not bothering to pretend it was a joke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels like it today. I should get going, update Lottie, I suppose. Hope she doesn't go ballistic.” Jess got up, half-heartedly waved at Rohan as she left to consider how to handle things with Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chatting with Lottie felt awkward but inevitable. Gary hadn’t actually done anything wrong, would it be terrible to tell her that and leave out the rest? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not exactly scandalous, but I should let Lottie have her reaction. It’s a lie of omission not to share with her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Later, this can wait until there’s been a chance to let it simmer. First, breakfast. I can only hope that Bobby and Jen are cavorting elsewhere. Especially if I want food to stay down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After breakfast, Jess hit the gym. It was the safest place to avoid Bobby and Lottie. There was little chance of finding either there. Instead, she worked out with Jake and Gary. Lifting weights helped, it was refreshing to focus on something unimportant. One more rep. It was a satisfying distraction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It gave her mind a break from worry, but afterwards, all her anxieties came creeping back. She spotted Bobby in the pool and Jen sitting on the edge watching him swim.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That should be me. Except I would be in there with him. Laughing as he spun me, splashing him the second he let his guard down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Instead, I’m trapped, stuck watching it, hoping he would be happier if I was there.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess heard the sound she dreaded most. Her phone. She pulled it out, a game. It would be impossible to avoid her tormentors there. They would be there, holding hands, looking happy together while Jess miserably tried not to watch them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, she went to enthusiastically alert the islanders so they could assemble at the challenge stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pretending not to be devastated would be a challenge, instead she would try to overcompensate. Fake it till you make it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The game of the day was Excess Baggage. A way for all the new and old islanders to get to know each other and connect as one big group. Emphasis on huge, there were eighteen islanders in the villa and things were crowded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boys vs girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake approached and rubbed her shoulder affectionately before joining the rest of the boys on the other side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen stood next to her and Jess held her hands together tightly, digging a nail into one of her fingers, a distraction from the awkwardness. She could feel Jen watching her, waiting for an acknowledgement. Instead, she kept her head focused on the elaborate design of today’s challenge. A huge revolving conveyor belt sectioned off with each of the girls' names. At the top were piles of suitcases that contained secrets about the islanders.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always secrets. And kissing. How many different challenges involving guessing secrets with a snog will there be? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Whichever girl the suitcase landed on would have to open the case and guess which boy the ‘baggage’ belonged to. At least there was a chance she wouldn’t be chosen. Maybe none will land on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first suitcase shot out heading towards the compartment of the girl who would read out the secret. This was a nice change- more suspenseful than most challenges. It landed on Chelsea's space, and she excitedly ran towards it, grabbing the suitcase before quickly letting it fall.  “Ugh,” she groaned, not expecting a suitcase with any heft. “Why’s it so heavy? It’s not like it’s your actual luggage.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhh,” Bobby called out. “You're ruining the mystique.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea whined as she carried it to a table to open it. She read the card packed inside the suitcase, which lay atop beachy clothes. “Which Islander has never spent more than $20 on a date? Ha, even I know that one.” She walked directly over to Rocco and pecked him on the cheek. Returning to the suitcase she opened up the tag attached to reveal that it indeed was Rocco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s one for the girls,” Lottie called out as she marked it on the board.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next suitcase landed on Hope, Noah’s new partner. She confidently opened the case and read the details. “Which boy left a girl in his bed to hook up with another girl. I’m torn, I want to kiss Noah, but I’m way too competitive to let the boys win this one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked down the line of men, before landing on Tai, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. The answer was revealed to be Jakub, who defended his actions by declaring neither had been in a serious relationship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I came back. Believe me, by the end of the night they were both satisfied.” He smirked with unearned confidence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A groan overcame most of the islanders and the game continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next case landed on Jen, “Which boy proposed to a girl he had only known for two weeks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea, but I can only think of one boy I want to kiss.” Jen walked right over to Bobby and kissed him deeply, with a familiarity that made Jess want to scream. He kissed her back, not at all surprised by the affection. That hurt even more. Not a moment of hesitation on his part.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why should there be?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wanted to dig a giant hole and bury herself in it, instead she watched. Unable to pull her eyes away from the sight that was the source of her pain.  She didn’t even hear what the answer was, so distracted by the snog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next was Marisol, who read out the secret of “Which boy has a restraining order against an ex?” She correctly deduced that it had been Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. Noah’s so chill and passive, it makes sense that someone chaotic and obsessive would latch on to him. How horrible for him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, a suitcase landed where Jess was hoping for the least. A compartment with her name and photo prominently displayed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled wide, running over for the suitcase feigning the enthusiasm she desperately wanted to be real. Opening up the case, she read the secret. “Which boy still has a poster of Aladdin in his room?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, are the producers trolling me? I wouldn’t put it past them. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over at Bobby whose eyes were laser-focused on the revolving belt. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He knows it’s him and that I know it too. I’ve kissed him at every other challenge like this, but I can’t kiss Bobby this time. I won’t humiliate myself that way. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked down the line of other guys, focusing instead on Jake. He was clearly the wrong answer, but what did it matter? There was no winning this challenge for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rushing over to Jake, she kissed him briefly but with a sparkle of passion, wanting to respect his choice to not deliberately make Priya jealous, but teasing the group slightly with something a tinge more sexually charged than the lame kiss Chelsea had given Rocco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could hear Tim rapping in the distance, forcing her to break off the kiss out of laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Jess. There’s no way it’s Jake.” Hope chastised, irritation in her face. “Thanks for losing us a point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hope’s definitely the competitive type.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>With dread charging every step, she returned to the suitcase knowing she would have to read out Bobby’s name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the answer is Bobby.” Jess laughed. “I should have guessed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I did, I just couldn’t handle getting that close to him right now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bobby, that’s going down the second we get home,” Jen called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We? Are things already that serious? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess frowned, looking over at Bobby for a reaction. He was grinning at Jen.  Every little moment between the new lovebirds felt like another knife in the gut. How much longer would it feel this awful? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all the boys’ secrets had been revealed, the set was quickly reconfigured for the girl’s turn to be humiliated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first suitcase landed on Noah. “Which girl has only had one boyfriend?” He kissed Chelsea before revealing the answer was Jen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I find someone I like, I stick with them,”  Jen said demurely. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hate her. I hate her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Another landed on Jakub, “Which girl has a secret closet full of sexy role play outfits.” He targeted Pryia with a kiss that she rebuffed when he tried to introduce his tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priya, you’ve got your own man. Stay away from mine.” Allegra hissed, hands on her hips directing her anger to Priya instead of her own partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Leggy, save it for Jakub.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jakub had gotten the answer correct, but managed to make things awkward in the process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby attempted a cartwheel, falling over instead as he celebrated his turn to read a secret “Which girl thought her boyfriend was going to propose and was left with pie in the face instead of a diamond ring?” Bobby glibly read with little sense of recognition, but his eye drifted briefly to hers before scanning the girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They’re definitely doing this on purpose, manipulating things so we get each other.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby walked towards the girls and Jess knew there was no chance of him choosing her even though she had told him the story. She hadn’t shared it with anyone other than Bobby and the cameras at the beach hut. The whole world knew. The secret wasn’t particularly embarrassing, having never shared the most humiliating part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t disappointed he didn’t ask and was actually relieved when he ended things. But if he had said the words, “Will you marry me?” the answer would have been yes and they would be married today. What does that say about her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby kissed Priya quickly before shuffling back to reveal that it was Jess. Everyone looked to her for an explanation.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, they want to know. I would be curious if it was any of them. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed, grinning widely for the group. </span>
  <em>
    <span>See, I’m fine. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t all that devastating, things had cooled off. I was more surprised, just because we’d been together so long.” Jess shrugged, taking a brief glance at Bobby whose eyes she could feel watching her.  Sometimes she felt like he really saw her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But If he did, he would know how much he meant to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The attention quickly shifted back to the game as Rohan went next, needing to find the girl who put cockroaches in her boyfriend's breakfast when she caught him lying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This one is almost too easy,” he said, sauntering over to Lottie and kissing her lightly on the lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie chuckled. “Good guess. But wrong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Impossible.” Rohan said, not quite believing it until he read the name ‘Hope’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah grimaced but stayed silent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hope stood taller- proudly exclaiming, “I don’t let anyone play me. I know my worth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m with you, he probably deserved it,” Allegra said as Lottie nodded in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah, man. Be careful. And honest around that one,” Bobby joked, elbowing him lightly in the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah’s a good one, I don’t think either of us have to worry,” Hope said smiling warmly at Noah.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hope and Noah seemed like an interesting pairing, fundamentally incompatible with next to nothing in common. But she could see why Noah had been drawn to her. A strong independent woman who fancied the pants off him. He needed that after Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game continued as kisses were handed out and secrets revealed. Talia had taken the virginities of three people. Allegra was fired on her first day of work for hooking up with a coworker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last suitcase emerged, landing on Gary. “Isn’t it crazy that no one has gone more than once?” Gary asked, grinning in delight.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game was very well balanced, suspiciously so. And through the powers of deduction, it was clear that this would be Marisol’s suitcase. It would make for fantastic drama if Gary kissed Marisol. She almost appreciated the manipulation tactics of their unseen overlords. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary read out the final secret. “Which islander made friends with a girl just to get to her brother?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked straight over to Marisol and kissed her. It was unclear who escalated it, but it was a kiss of passion. Jess couldn’t be sure, but suspected tongues were involved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those two are really going for it,” Bobby yelled out as Tai and Chelsea cheered. Tim appeared to be lost in thought, probably trying to come up with an impromptu rap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Lottie, she seemed cold and untouched by the act</span>
  <em>
    <span>. Interesting, I thought she’d freak. Instead, she looks deep in thought. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually Lottie’s fury was on full display, she was not known for her restraint. If she was angry now, it was there but brimming under the surface while she stood stone-faced. As her guy kissed her enemy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary turned with a cheeky grin on his face and ran back to read the answer. Not shocking anyone, it was revealed to be Marisol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do tell the details, sweetie,” Jen encouraged.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was in secondary and I had the biggest crush on this guy a year older. So I made friends with his sister, so I could go to their house and get to know him better.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did it work?” Allegra asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It did, we dated for about a year. I would call it a monumental success.” Marisol smirked. There was something particularly hateable about the way her lips curled in smug satisfaction. Jess barely knew Marisol and already had developed an irrational dislike. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you stay friends with the sister?” Jen asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For a while. We grew apart through the years.” Marisol’s eye landed directly on Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grew apart? That’s what you're going with? Not the fact that you fucked my boyfriend.” Lottie’s voice was calm but tinged with irritation and disbelief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Lottie. It’s been years. Get over it. You were constantly talking about wanting to break up with him. I just pushed things along.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie stood, piercing Marisol with a withering stare before rolling her eyes and chortling to herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake announced that the girls won the challenge and would be receiving a reward for dinner. As the girls celebrated, another phone alert sounded, causing an uncanny silence to consume the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A nervous-looking Rohan read out a message. “Islanders the viewers at home have been voting for their favourite couples. Only the top three voted couples are safe, the rest are vulnerable and may be going home tonight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked to Gary, her partner. Would they be leaving tonight?</span>
  <em>
    <span> Is that what I want?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess trudged up to the terrace, feeling torn. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do I want to stay or go? Maybe it would be for the best if Gary and I get sent home? The viewers at home probably don't care for either of us. There’s no chance we’ll be in the top three. We aren’t even a couple.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby and Jen don’t need to worry, they have to be fan favourites. How could the audience not adore Bobby? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If we leave, I won’t have to deal with seeing Bobby and Jen together. I can move on and never see him again. Never seeing him again? That thought aches more than the pain of seeing him with her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess entered the terrace to find Bobby there surveying the horizon, deep in thought. His hand resting on the back of his neck. The urge to wrap her arms around him and pretend that everything was fine was strong, but she fought it. Instead, she watched him, wondering what he was thinking about. Did he miss her at all? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” He turned, looking back at her, probably sensing someone watching him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like a creeper, is this what it’s come to? Sneaking glances at the boy you like?   </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment when his eyes met hers, he lit up. But just like that, it was replaced with the look of melancholy that she had grown familiar with. She wanted to be the person to put that smile on his face and keep it there. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guilt gnawed at her, her presence was causing him pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to reassure him that I’m ok and alleviate his guilt. That’s the only way I can stay and not feel like a monster. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we talk?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, can we?” he answered, smiling at her momentarily before averting his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Har har.” She chuckled, nostalgic for a few days ago when they secretly met here, each trying to make the other laugh. When Bobby couldn’t think of a joke, he would just stare at her until she couldn’t help but explode from laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hesitantly, Jess moved closer, testing the waters. He reciprocated, until he was close enough for her to touch, and hear the gentle sounds of his breathing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt the pull towards him intensifying, she wanted to close the distance and wrap her arms around him. Feel his body against her, it was all she needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, she stood tall, watching his eyes as they stared back, feeling lost in the intensity of his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt a glimmer of hope in her chest. Whatever was happening with Jen, he still had feelings for her. He still looked at her like she was everything to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” she said, opening up the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” He opened up his mouth, shutting it again. He smiled tightly, composing his thoughts before opening again to speak. “I don’t exac-”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>*beeep* </b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Bobby sighed in annoyance, looking down at his phone. “The guys are in charge of figuring out dinner tonight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like too many cooks in the kitchen,” she said watching his expression closely as he continued staring at his phone, brow furrowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely, I’m sure it’ll be a disaster.” He chuckled, putting his phone away and returning his focus to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Jake can handle it, just send everyone else away. Less chaos that way.” She wanted to reach for his hand, kiss it gently, instead she stood there. A measured distance between them, hands at their sides. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Instead</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She was very aware of how every action she took was not what she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked back at the floor for a moment. “Jake, yeah. I suppose so. He should probably take the lead, with experience running a kitchen and everything. And I could do with less chaos.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stepped back, “Can we talk later?” he asked, a tinge of desperation heard in his voice, swelling Jess’ heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Bobby left, he passed Lottie. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I guess it’s time to knock out the other awkward conversation I’ve been putting off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, any luck on your mission?” Lottie asked, thankfully focusing on her own relationship drama. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I talked to a few people. Good news first. Gary didn’t hook up with anyone in Casa Amor.” Jess gestured to the bench and went to sit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the bad news?” Lottie asked, moving closer to Jess but still standing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise you won't freak out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie…,” Jess huffed</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess,” Lottie smirked in return, arms crossed in defiance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess quickly spilled the information she had learned. “All I know is that he was pretty flirty and enjoyed the attention. And someone thought he may have been playing it safe by staying loyal. That’s all and I don’t think it’s a big deal. This is a game and we’ve only known each other for a short time. There has to be a little strategy involved.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie laughed. “Is that it? You had me worried that something terrible happened. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost </span>
  </em>
  <span>like you think I overreact to things sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess gave Lottie a hard knowing look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I’m trying to be better.” Lottie sat beside Jess, a comfortable distance, the distance of close friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling with Marisol here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better than I thought I would. I still want to scratch her eyes out, but a part of me doesn’t want to give her that power over me. I realized that today. I trust Gary. I don’t care about Rocco, I never did. And now, I don’t care about her. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. I’m aiming for indifference.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How very mature of you Lottie, I’m impressed.” Jess tipped an imaginary hat in approval.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie rolled her eyes. “You’re so cheesy, but thanks. I’m sure I’ll screw up soon, may as well try. I know you didn't want me to but I asked around about Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie- I tol-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” Lottie interrupted, waving off Jess’ concerns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two girls exchanged a long look. Lottie had a way of digging into your soul, trapping a person with her intense green eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Jess gave in to curiosity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, I knew you wanted to know. I’m so doing a tea reading with you tomorrow.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Apparently, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bobby was pretty pathetically hung up on you the first couple of days. Gary’s words, not mine.  He moped around, didn’t get with any girls. And then after they got the video about the girls, he got together with Jen and was suddenly super happy. Obnoxiously so. He doesn’t think they’ve gotten up to much, but Bobby’s been playing the whole thing up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt her face fall.  “What makes you think it’s an act? Maybe he really likes her and she’s making him happy after I made him miserable? You said yourself. He-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you seen him? He’s totally overcompensating? You’ve been doing the same damn thing today. So happy, like you’re on drugs. He’s not happy and I know you aren’t either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do. My biggest priority is not losing him. If I have to settle for being just friends, I guess I’ll live with it. It’s better than the alternative.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’s still into you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's not that simple, if he could be happier with her, then he should be with her. I think there might be something wrong with me on a fundamental level. Like I’m broken and if I drag him in, I’m just going to break him too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, that’s nonsense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not such a bad thing to just let yourself be happy,” Lottie said, letting the silence linger before getting up to leave.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let her leave, sitting alone with her words. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know and I want to be happy. But I want him to be happy more. I’m not sure I deserve to be happy. I’ve spent my whole life being polite, not kind. Generous without truly sacrificing anything. I want to be good, desperately want people to think I’m good. But I’m not, I’m bad and broken and Bobby deserves better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whatever happens tonight, whether I go or stay, I hope I come out of it a slightly better version of myself. Because who I am now is a piece of garbage that doesn't deserve love. And certainly doesn't deserve to be loved by Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Things will go as they will; and there is no need to hurry to meet them</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Just need to get through this dinner and I’ll be heading home. It’s for the best. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting at the table next to Chelsea, Jess kept glancing towards the kitchen, taking in the chaos. Jake barked orders trying to give the others tasks, while Bobby sat in the corner laughing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So much for them working together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim kept pulling out gadgets asking the others to identify them while Rocco tried to help only to become distracted and create more work for the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake appeared to be desperately trying to maintain his composure, clearly used to a more professional kitchen staff. It was delightfully amusing to be on the other side, but Jess held it together not wanting to further agitate Jake. She would miss them- this strange mismatched group of people who would never speak if they weren’t trapped on an island together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think of him?” Chelsea suddenly asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fun, a little much but he’s nice to have around. What do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>think of Tim?” Jess looked over at the man who had overtaken Bobby’s mantle of villa clown. Now wearing a colander as a hat, he was an absurd sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea sighed. “I’m not sure anymore. I liked him so much at first. He’s funny and sweet. But now?” She turned to verify that he wasn’t close. Lowering her voice, she confided, “he’s really getting on my nerves. Like, take it down a notch dude. Why does he turn anything into a rap? It’s like he can’t have a normal conversation.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For all of my complaints about Bobby’s childishness, I never found myself annoyed by his antics, if anything I was annoyed with myself for being charmed by them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Chels, but just because you’re coupled up with him doesn't mean you have to keep him. It’s ok to realize he’s not for you. Do you have anyone else in mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea averted her eyes, looking to the kitchen, watching Tim wave a cheese grater in Jake's face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda wish I had given things with Rohan more of a shot.” Chelsea’s lips pursed, her eyes wild and feverish. It was surreal seeing Chelsea emotional about anything. She was typically overdramatic without genuine melancholy. But here, she was regretful, wondering if she had made the right decision going with Tim. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hun. I know it se-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sshhh.” Chelsea hushed Jess, waving her arm meaningfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim ambled over with Rohan in close succession.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get the boot from Jake?” Jess asked, gesturing for the duo to join them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe it? I was just trying to help,” Tim said with a shrug, settling in next to Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mate, nothing you were doing was helpful,” Rohan chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you say that? I had some great ideas.” Tim’s eyes twinkled gleefully as he began rubbing Chelsea’s shoulders. He was a person who always needed to be active, like a puppy incapable of running out of energy. Jess was exhausted just watching him sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep your tinned soup away from Jake’s sauce. Are you trying to ruin our dinner? We’re trying to impress the girls, not poison them.” Rohan smirked at Tim, teasing him affectionately.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Glad to see Rohan and Tim and breaking through the awkward Chelsea driven tension. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s on the menu for tonight?” Jess asked, craning for a view of the meal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some sort of pasta thing, I don’t know. Jake is stuffing it, pretty weird.” Tim shrugged. “I tried to tell him to do something simple, people are stressing as it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is our last meal all together. Jake wants it to be special,” Chelsea said wisely, nodding her head in approval. “I’m going to miss whoever leaves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if you leave?” Rohan asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Chelsea paused as if considering it for the first time. “Shoot, I wasn’t even thinking about that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Jake, he seemed intently focused on the task at hand. Noah stood over the stove as Gary grated cheese and Tai chopped something with wild erratic movements that made her fear for his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fear. She wasn't just afraid Tai was going to maim himself. She was afraid of so many things, too many that she couldn’t articulate. Or even identify.  Fear of hurting Bobby. Of losing him. Of losing herself in these feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fear that every decision she made was wrong and she was incapable of knowing when she made a correct one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fear of being alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fear of relying on another person to fill her up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was too much to be afraid of. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The dinner was quiet, there was too much suspense for a bombastic farewell dinner. The uncertainty in the air was suffocating with no one knowing the words to help ease the tension. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What was there to say? I hope you leave so I don’t have to. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess kept looking over at Bobby, fidgeting uncomfortably every time he caught her watching. She couldn’t resist. Captivated, wondering what was going on underneath those amber eyes she loved so much. Trying to figure out his relationship with Jen. Was it serious? Was Jen just a rebound? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did he still care for her?  If she and Gary left tonight, she would never find out those answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would he wait for her if she left? Or leave with her if she asked? </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, that would be crazy, it was silly and selfish to even consider that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking in the couples, Jess found herself calculating their chances of survival. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rocco and Marisol. The audience must hate them, they have to, right? Rocco caused chaos by choosing Lottie. And he is a bit much. Easy on the eyes but difficult to take. Between his long-winded rambling tales and horrible mocktails, he wouldn’t be missed in the villa. How many times do I need to tell him I don’t want a wheatgrass smoothie before he gets the hint? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And Marisol is a literal snake and a know-it-all with zero charisma. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Noah and Hope. They could be safe, Noah may be well-liked by the viewers depending on how things have been presented. And they seem fairly into each other. This morning I glimpsed her rubbing his feet like it was a good luck charm. It was weird but sickeningly sweet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Priya and Tai. Safe. Too gorgeous not to be beloved. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Allegra and Jakub. Into each other but almost disgustingly so. Abrasive and difficult, neither are probably too popular.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Chelsea and Tim. It’s a tossup, they’re both so extra the audience either loves or loathes them. Neither is the type of person to illicit neutral feelings. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jen and Bobby. Safe and so fucking adorable I want to scream until my head explodes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jess and Gary. Not a couple. Hopefully, their friendship would be enough to get them through this night. I may deserve to be sent home, but Gary and Lottie deserve a chance to reconcile. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not just about you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The groups gathered at the fire pit, the singles awkwardly stood away from the group. Lottie kissed Gary lightly on the lips and squeezed his hand before walking over to Jake, Talia, and Rohan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brisk night air chilled to the core, she rubbed her goosebump-covered arms, strangely grateful for the cold. It was an unpleasant distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every moment that passed felt like an eternity. Silent other than the sounds of cicadas. These nights were typically stretched out for dramatic tension, but tonight was unbearable. The lack of information left them all on edge. What would happen to those three couples that weren’t chosen?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, a phone went off. Lottie’s. She pulled it out and read the message for the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The public has been voting for their favourite couples. The three couples that are safe from being dumped from the villa are…” Lottie trailed off, looking over at Gary. “That’s where it ends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan pulled out his phone. “Tim and Chelsea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea squealed, pulling Tim in for a hug as he jumped up and down. Each reacting in their own unique high energy way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake went next. “Bobby and Jen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite expecting their safety, Jess still let out a sigh of relief at its confirmation. Sweet, wonderful Bobby gets to stay. Even if it’s not with her….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen smiled, letting out a tiny whoop before grabbing Bobby’s head and kissing him chastely.  She frowned. It wasn’t scandalous, but it still dug under her skin. Catching  Bobby’s eye, he quickly shifted away, feigning interest in the bright flames of the fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at Gary, he was nervous- standing tall but his eyes and the sweat gleaming on his forehead gave way to his fears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia read the last couple. Jess held her breath, unsure of what she was hoping for. “Jess and Gary”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is what I wanted. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She breathed out, letting the relief wash through her, whatever happened, she wasn’t ready to leave this island and give up. There was still more for her here, even if she wasn’t sure what that was anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary wrapped his large arms around her, enveloping her with his warmth.  She was still coupled up with someone she didn’t fancy, but they were safe. They get to stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell? How could they not pick us?” Hope shrieked at Noah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jakub practically snarled at the reveal. “Huh? What are these people thinking?” He gestured to his bulky physique as if it was evidence of his and Allegra’s relationship quality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marisol's face was tightly composed in a frown, as Rocco rubbed her shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The saved couples were instructed to sit down as they all waited for more instructions. Jess felt more relaxed knowing she wasn’t leaving but the remaining couples were clearly bricking it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Other than Priya who still stood confidently, as if knowing her exit from the villa was an impossibility. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra seemed strangely calm, irritated but quiet clasping onto Jakub’s hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe she really likes him? They are oddly perfect for each other. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’ phone beeped and she quickly pulled it out and read the message aloud. “Talia, Jake, Lottie, and Rohan. The fate of the vulnerable islanders is in your hands. Each of you must pick one person to couple up with. You can choose one of the vulnerable islanders or a fellow singleton. The remaining vulnerable islanders will be dumped from the villa and have to leave immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia moved forward, grasping her phone. “I’m first.” She smiled, casting a cold look over at Priya. “This boy is fit, wonderful, and unappreciated. I think he’s someone who could use a more reliable partner. The boy that I would like to couple up with is Jake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake looked up in alarm. Talia grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the bench to sit with the other safe couples. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She could have saved someone and instead, she screwed over Priya.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s phone went off next, and her brow furrowed in confusion as she assessed the group of men in front of her.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I would give anything to know what she’s thinking. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Lottie paused as she focused on the men in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai. Noah. Jakub. Rocco. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m happy to not be in her position. I don’t even know who she should pick. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lottie looked over at Jess, causing a confused shrug in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know either, Lottie. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie took one last lingering glance at each man before speaking, a stoic decisiveness taking hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None of the boys that are standing there are exactly my cup of tea.” She cast a wink in Gary’s direction before returning her gaze to the nervous-looking line of men.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I have to pick someone. There's one boy that feels the most important to the group and that makes it an easy choice. The boy I want to couple up with is Noah.” Lottie offered Noah a soft smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah let out a sigh, ignoring the scowl on his former partner’s face. He quickly shuffled over to Lottie, keeping a friendly distance from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, that’s it? We’re just done?” Hope said, her lips curled dismissively, eyes full of disdain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Hope,” Noah said, keeping his deep brown eyes glued to the fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What good does that do me?” Hope asked not awaiting a response as she walked away, showcasing her fury with every step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess Rohan’s not choosing Hope,” Tim called out with a snigger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan apprehensively moved forward. “I guess I’m last. You girls are all great, but there’s only one that truly deserves the opportunity to stay. She’s an amazing woman, and I’m excited to get to know her better and see if there any sparks. The girl I want to couple up with is Priya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya smiled, gliding over with her trademark panache over to her new partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary reached for his phone, somberly reading out the text. “Hope, Rocco, Marisol, Tai, Allegra, and Jakub. Your time on Love Island has come to an end. Please pack your bags and exit the villa immediately.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess found her eye drawn to Allegra. The girl she sometimes hated who had been here from the beginning. Snarky, easily irritated Allegra. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now that she’s leaving, I almost appreciate her weird, toxic presence in the villa.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hope’s face was frozen in irritation as she left the villa alone. The competitive girl had clearly thought Noah was a safe partner and had expected to last longer. Maybe even win? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tai hugged Priya, promising to wait for her. Priya made no such promises in return but kissed him affectionately before smacking his bum and sending him on his way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco and Marisol held hands as they left, breaking only so that Marisol could say goodbye to Lottie. She hesitantly approached her former friend, looking humbled and vulnerable. Jess didn’t know Marisol well, but this was the first time she’d shown any sign of being human rather than a sexy robot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s green eyes pierced Marisol with a look of annoyance. Despite her attempts, Lottie had not yet mastered indifference. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Lottie, I know I never said it. I was embarrassed by how much I screwed things up.” Marisol looked genuinely remorseful. “I know you’ll never forg-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie held out her hand, gesturing for her to stop. “I forgive you, but I’ll never trust you again enough to be your friend.” Lottie pulled her former friend in for a hug. “Goodbye, Marisol.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye Lottie,”  Marisol said wistfully, gazing at Lottie like she was a lost love. Maybe she was? There was an intensity about how she looked at Lottie that had to be more than friendship. It was messy and complicated but real. And Marisol had destroyed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess could relate to that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rocco spouted bullshit about fate, cars diverting on the highway, and other strangely worded metaphors before retaking Marisol’s hand and exiting the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra and Jakub emerged from the villa with their suitcases last. Allegra’s eyes were red and swollen, she had clearly been crying. </span>
  <em>
    <span> I didn’t realize she would be so emotional about leaving, it’s not like she was that close to anyone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry you have to go,” Chelsea gushed, pulling a reluctant Allegra in for a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna miss you tons,” Priya chirped, blowing a kiss towards the booted islander.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we haven’t always gotten along, but I’m going to miss you,” Lottie said quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won’t be the same not having you around,” Jess added, feeling genuinely sad about Allegra's departure. It was surprising to realize how this place bonded them. Spending so much time together, it felt like she had known Allegra for years instead of three weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thanks girls, I can tell you mean it,” she responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Like we’ve all been so close in here. I’ll never forget about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She focused intently on Lottie. “I’ll carry a photo of you in my purse for the rest of my life.” Allegra rolled her eyes, clinging closer to Jakub.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about me? Anyone going to miss me?” Jakub jumped in, chest puffed up, almost challenging someone to admit their fondness for him.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group stood silent, no one able to come up with an answer that would satisfy him. Bobby and Tim both seemed to be holding back jokes with Chelsea literally covering Tim’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m just on edge about leaving. I really will miss you all,” Allegra said, her expression softening as the girls surrounded her with hugs and promises of getting together after the summer. With a wave, Allegra and Jakub left the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As the islanders celebrated their survival, a figure sat alone at the fire pit. Noah.  A wave of empathy took hold of Jess. Despite how awkward things had been, it had to be difficult for Noah. Finally finding a partner he was happy with only to lose her immediately.  Things had been tense between the former couple, but Jess still hoped to mend things. Despite her tendency to think negatively, she always held on to any glimmer of hope that relationships could be salvaged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her annoyance with Noah had lessened as he let go of his resentments. Maybe he was finally in a place where they could be friends? Regardless, she couldn’t walk by and ignore someone looking as miserable as Noah did right now. Hunched over, deep in thought, staring into the fire as if the answers to his love life were hidden in the flames. Jess hesitated, but slowly moved over to join him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I join you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah looked up and gestured for her to sit beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat together quietly, listening to the crackling sounds of the fire and the squeals of Chelsea coming from the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about Hope,” Jess said, maintaining focus on her hands, which she kneaded tensely.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. I liked her. She was intense but I liked that about her.” Noah sighed forlornly. “I’m glad I get to stay, but I feel like I’ve mucked everything up here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same. It’s not too late for a fresh start. For either of us.” They exchanged a knowing look, bonded by their regrets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s true.” Noah looked at her, a vulnerable expression appearing on his face. “I’m-” He laughed. “How absurd is all this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty ridiculous.” Jess agreed, returning his laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I handled things poorly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s an understatement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So am I.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we can have our own fresh start?” Noah asked warmly, holding his hand out towards her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that.” Jess returned his handshake, stifling a laugh at the formality of his gesture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to head inside and figure out the bed situation with Lottie.” Noah stood up looking towards the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s certainly an odd situation, for most of us.” Jess followed his gaze knowing she would have to face one of her fears tonight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll make it through. Maybe?” He winked before heading inside. Jess followed closely behind trying to psych herself and prepare to handle the awkwardness of the bedroom situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sleeping in the same room with Jen and Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every step towards the bedroom made Jess slow her pace. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Was staying worth this feeling? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>If things could be patched up with Noah, maybe there was hope for her and Bobby? If Noah could let go of his anger, maybe she could stop feeling what she felt for Bobby and return to friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she could even let go of the resentment she now carried for herself. The guilt and frustration over the decisions she had made weighed on her, filling her with self-hatred that was digging in, picking at her brain. The voices back- reminding her that she was bad, unworthy of love, meant to be alone and miserable. It was what she deserved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t an entirely unfamiliar feeling, glimmers of the hole she had fallen into after her parent’s death. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she grieved for what she’d lost and how she had destroyed her chance at genuine love, she couldn’t let herself fall apart again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, Jess entered the bedroom, intent on not letting this consume her. She was better than this, deserving of more than an emotional breakdown because the boy she loved didn’t love her back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would be ok. Even if it was just her.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Deep roots are not reached by the frost.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eyes fluttering awake, Jess let out a sigh of relief.  Morning arrived, she had survived the night. Gary snored beside her, the sound masked by the intensity of the snores in the adjacent bed shared by Lottie and Noah. Quietly, Jess pulled herself out of bed and shuffled away- quickly trying to make her exit before she saw them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyes fixed on her goal, she crept towards the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring it was painful, like all of the room's energy had been pushed into the corner bed and that magnetic force was drawing her closer. Its presence in the forefront of her thoughts- inescapable. Screaming at her to look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like Orpheus with Persephone, she couldn’t help but turn, seeking out that which she had promised she wouldn’t. Her stomach tightened in anticipation, taking in the view she dreaded- Jen and Bobby sharing a bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wasn’t entirely sure what she expected to see, it was harmless, really. Each faced the opposite direction, Jen wearing a sleep mask, while Bobby’s arm practically hung off the bed. Bobby had told her to expect starfishing, but here he was- a sizable distance between his partner as he slept on his side, curled up and taking minimal space. It was the same position she Gary had acted out. But it still stung, seeing what their sleeping dynamic was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She never got the chance to see him this way, asleep, vulnerable. It ached to know that this would be as close as she got. Watching him across the room, wishing to be closer. Never getting to sleep beside him- listening to the sounds of his breathing and counting every freckle on his beautiful face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That realization hurt more than seeing Jen beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trudging downstairs, she slowly exhaled, forcing her body to relax. The tension drifted away. One day down, however many days in the villa left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She and Bobby were supposed to talk about things, but the thought of having ‘the talk’ filled her with dread. Their last conversation </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been hopeful, she didn’t know why she was so worried other than pessimism had seeped in and took control. It hurt to hope. If she kept her expectations low, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when he rejected her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet she knew it wasn’t true. Heartbreak likely lay ahead regardless of how optimistic she went into it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She poured herself a cup of tea and took to her usual lounging spot at the edge of the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silent mornings were still her favourite part of the villa. Even her romantic life in shambles couldn’t ruin it.  A moment of calm to enjoy this place and the strange freedom it provided. The quiet of no obligations or expectations. She didn’t have to go anywhere, see anyone, safely insulated in this strange bubble where her only concern was maintaining complicated relationships with a group of strangers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing approaching footsteps, she turned to see </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby,” she said quietly, so low it was almost a whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess,” he said with a smirk, looking adorable in his cupcake pyjamas. “Fancy meeting you here. Come here often?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only every morning,” she replied, managing to compose herself after the surprise of seeing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I join you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all.” She gestured for him to sit down, wondering how she fell for a guy who dressed so absurdly. Would she have considered him as a potential partner outside of the villa? What was wrong with her that the answer was probably no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby joined her on the coping, rolling up his pyjama bottoms and slinging his bare legs into the pool with a small splash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” he said, bumping his shoulder lightly against hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.” She tried to contain a smile, secretly thrilled at the small act of physical contact. It had been missed- the subtle intimacy of their relationship. It wasn’t until it was gone that she realized how often they found little ways to touch each other. A boop, a playful tap, small gestures urging them closer. Little things that meant something without needing to be spoken of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence lingered as they sat together taking in the morning air, watching the sun rise over the horizon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So beautiful,” he finally said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It really is, I love getting up early and enjoying the sunrise,” Jess agreed, content at sharing her favourite part of the day with her favourite person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant you, but the view is nice too,” Bobby said with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Flattery will get you everywhere.” Jess laughed lightly, not wanting to read too much into things but a nostalgic wave rushed through her. She had missed this too, the casual flirtation. The light teasing. “I hate getting up early, but I love being up early. I get antsy laying in bed, but most mornings I like to have coffee and breakfast and read a chapter of a book before starting the day. I can’t just get out of bed, take a shower, and leave for the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I’m the opposite, I shoot out of bed, shower, and head to work.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds horrible. Bobby, you gotta have breakfast,” Jess gently chastised. “It helps your brain do things. Like deal with being awake that early.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have coffee for that and I usually grab something on the way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s weird to think of you outside of the villa.” She looked over at his bare chest, resisting the urge to let the gaze linger.  “You probably wear a shirt most days. I can’t even imagine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, you lucky ladies. Getting to see this all the time?” He gestured towards himself attempting a smoulder but instead looking like he was holding in a sneeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess erupted into laughter. “You lads are the lucky ones. All the fit girls in bikinis, constantly lathering each other in sunscreen. Sometimes I don’t know how you aren’t walking around with erections half the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh we are, but we’ve all gotten very good at hiding it. If you see someone behind the kitchen counter, you can guess why.” Bobby tapped the side of his nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no.” Jess laughed. “Now I’m going to be looking for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re more than welcome to look anytime...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She punched him lightly on the shoulder. “What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you leave here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I’m leaving soon?” He raised an eyebrow, his amber eyes glimmering at the challenge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You? Not a chance. But eventually, we’ll all have to leave,” Jess said unsure of how she would feel when that time came. Looking down into the pool, she swirled her toes causing circular ripples in the water, losing herself to the motion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yesterday she was relieved to be able to stay. But would she still feel that way in a few days? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby paused contemplatively before answering. “It sounds silly, but I can’t wait to get back to my flat and make dinner, in my own kitchen. With everything where it should be, the ingredients I prefer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn't sound silly at all. It sounds nice, some alone time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not necessarily alone.” He said simply meeting her eye quickly before shifting his view back to the horizon. “What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to go home, listen to a record, have a glass of wine, and read a book. Maybe end the night with a bubble bath.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds delightful. I can picture it now.” He looked her down flirtatiously as she laughed and whacked him on the chest in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to kiss him so badly, every time I touch him, it's a feeble attempt to satisfy that itch. But it’s not helping, I just want it more. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then get a cat,” Jess added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? You're a cat person?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grinned, nodding emphatically causing Bobby to giggle at her reaction. “I’m a cat person without any cats. I adore dogs too, but I’ve never had a cat. My mom was allergic, so we never had them growing up. I’ve always thought as a laid back introvert that cats would suit me. After I leave here, I’m embracing my cat lady destiny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would it surprise you to know that I have a cat?” Bobby asked, pulling his legs out of the pool and shifting towards her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Jess instinctively matched Bobby’s action settling in cross-legged, across from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would I lie to you?” He smirked, pausing for dramatic effect. “Her name is Clementine. I call her Clem. She was an ex’s cat and after the breakup, Clem preferred me.  We didn’t even live together or anything. I think the only reason I stayed with her for so long was for the sake of the cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How honourable?” Jess scrunched up her face, unsure of how to respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably not. But in the end, she wanted to move away without baggage. So it worked out for all of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, I hate that you can’t show me a photo right now. Tell me in complete detail all about your cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby laughed heartily. “She’s a short-haired ginger cat. Which is pretty cool because it’s a rare combo for a ginger cat to be a lady. She’s a little sass monster, a truly terrible roommate. But I’m rather fond of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh. I can’t wait to meet her,” Jess cooed, before quickly admonishing herself for assuming Bobby would want that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s going to love you.” Bobby paused, turning pink momentarily. “Uh. What’s your dream cat like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve done a bit of research. Because of course, I have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are quite analytical, that doesn’t surprise me at all,” Bobby said, his eyes sparkling in the morning light. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had this way of looking at her sometimes like he completely understood her and still liked her. Like he found her quirks charming.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my undoing, I’m a compulsive over-thinker.” Jess turned away, focusing on the blue water, wondering how cold it was right now. Trying not to dwell on how much her obsessive nature had cost her. She could feel his eyes watching her, piercing her thoughtfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe? But I like it. Watching those gears turning, wondering what you're thinking,” he said, continuing to gaze at her, pulling her back towards him like she was on a string only he could manoeuvre. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like now?” she asked, locking eyes with him, searching his eyes for signs of how he felt about her. “What am I thinking? Any guesses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If he kissed me right now,  I still would kiss him back without any reservations. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He angled closer, an uncertain expression fixed upon his face.  “Uh. I.” He paused nervously, his lips tightly pressed together in a forced smile. After a moment, his smile shifted becoming something genuine. “I think you want a boy because they’re sweeter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smiled, slightly disappointed in his deflection but not exactly unsurprised. It had been silly to hope. “Ding ding. Except I want two boy cats.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cheater, you just said cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Semantics,” she coyly replied, shrugging lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if our cats aren’t friends?” Bobby asked suddenly as if he couldn’t imagine a more devastating situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even joke about that,” Jess answered sternly. “Who's watching Clem while you're here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My sister Ava is. She’s pregnant, so it’s been a chance for her and Bill to practice their parenting skills. Hopefully, Clem hasn’t driven them to adoption yet. She can be a handful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you and your sister close?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Believe it or not, I was fairly obnoxious in my youth.” Bobby grinned widely, unsurprisingly proud of the actions of ‘young Bobby’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You? Never would have guessed. I take it you're the youngest?” Jess stretched her arms over her head, wanting to stay here in this moment with Bobby but needing to shift positions. Stillness for extended periods was never comfortable. She was cursed to be perpetually antsy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me, baby boy Bobby. It was just me and Ava. My parents divorced when we were young. I still get along with them, but there was a lot of fighting at the time. I was twelve and she was sixteen. We kept each other sane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I’m glad you were there for each other,” Jess said, feelings threatening to bubble up within her about her own lonely family life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. It helped, she’s the only reason I’m not completely emotionally closed. Forced me to talk about things. Which I needed. I have a tendency to bottle things up. You’re an only child, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt a warmth settle in knowing Bobby remembered. That he paid attention to things she said like she meant something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded in confirmation. “I always liked being an only child. Enjoyed the quiet, had a close relationship with my parents, plenty of friends- I genuinely appreciated the tranquillity and simplicity of it just being us. Bragged about how great it was to my friends. Until my parents died. It’s not even that I’m lonely, but I’m the only one to remember them, to talk about them. I sometimes wish I had a sibling to say ‘Remember when..’ and go into a rambling tale of our family adventures.” She laughed, letting the bitterness overtake her, the resentment burning though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was part of why she was so desperate for things to work with Noah. She craved that big family. So many people around, she couldn’t hear her own thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But deep down, she knew it wouldn’t help.  It was another distraction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t blame them for just having me, I’m glad they did. I had a fulfilling childhood and that was partially because it was just the three of us. And really, if I had a sibling, there’s no guarantee we would be close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true, my mate Louis, he has four brothers, can’t stand any of them.” Bobby adopted a very serious tone. “Tories.” He shook his head dismissively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Horrible. Good for Louis.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For sure, he’s been out since he was 15, and it just got to a point where he didn’t want anything to do with them anymore.” Bobby frowned, clearly still affected by that part of his friend's life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Their loss. That’s still awful for him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, I don’t get it,” Bobby spat out, annoyance clear in his tone. “Things are great now for him, he’s married and happy without them. I’ll never understand how his family could reject him that way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you known him?” Jess asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So many years. We were uh..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spill.” She smiled, knowing he was close to revealing something he’d rather remain hidden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were in a band together growing up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pfft. I already knew that, lead singer, blah blah, but what kind of music did you play?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that you mention it, I think I told you that already.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked playfully. “Do you seriously not remember every tidbit of my life I’ve shared with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, I promise to do better.” Jess raised her hand apologetically, stifling the smile she felt threatening to consume her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she could go back to being just friends with Bobby. This was easy. Chatting with him, it was simple and made her happier than she thought possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll hold you to it. We were a punk band,” he answered sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes. I need to know more about this. What was the name? Original or covers? Did you dress up? Are there photos?” She squealed excitedly knowing exactly how much she sounded like Chelsea at this moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Paisley Cuddle, both, yes and uh yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea how badly I want to see you in eyeliner and leather trousers.” She looked him over, biting her lip at the thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That could probably be arranged. At least the eyeliner part here. Alas, the leather pants are probably in my mum’s garage.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You continually surprise me and I love it.” Jess blushed wondering if he had any idea just how true her choice of words were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did love it. And him. Could she keep him as a friend if he knew that? And it wasn’t mutual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do my best to maintain some mystique,” he boasted, hitting her with an intense gaze that left her unable to formulate a response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kept her eyes fixed on his, letting the moment linger as she lost herself in those eyes. “I would expect nothing else,” she finally answered, squeezing her hands together, fighting the urge to reach out and grab his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a glint in his eye, Bobby sighed overdramatically, “but it’s really not fair, you know all of my secrets, but I don't have many of yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know all of yours?” Jess challenged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All I’m willing to share now,” he corrected, his lips curled into a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>suppose</span>
  </em>
  <span> I can even the playing field somehow.” She sighed in return, feigning annoyance at the topic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you into sports?” Bobby asked curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess furrowed her brow in confusion before the question clicked. “No, not even a little. I don’t even know why I use the expression. You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, if people are talking about it, I just launch into ‘did you see that ludicrous display last night?’ That usually redirects the conversation.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good to have a plan,” Jess agreed. “Thankfully it doesn’t come up much for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We veered away from the subject at hand. What was your embarrassing teenage story?” he asked, shifting to lay on his side, his elbow propping his head up to watch her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you revealed anything embarrassing. Singer in a punk band is a pretty sexy secret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?” Bobby asked in a way that implied that he knew exactly how sexy it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is, I’m glad you made it out of that phase without any hideous tattoos.” She assessed his skin, other than a smattering of freckles decorating his chest, he was free of any other marks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know I don't have a giant cupcake tattooed on my bum?” Bobby teased, smacking the area in question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn’t contain the red she felt forming on her cheeks. Despite everything that happened between them, it was a spot that was still a mystery for her, one she wanted to solve. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just going to assume you do.” She gave him a knowing look. A look that said, ‘I want to see you naked’. Or at least that was the intention, seductive glances weren't exactly her strength.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He has to know how much I want him right? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t quite read his reaction, his eyes didn’t give him away. Feeling momentarily silly for trying to be sexy and putting him in a weird position, she quickly changed the subject back to her teenage follies. “I was painfully dull when I was young. Had a lot of friends, did well in school, had fun without getting too wild. Coming here is the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, most people would say working in the rainforest is pretty exciting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been so long since Jess started that it no longer felt like an interesting job. But he was right, it did sound adventurous and potentially dangerous. And yet she was bored with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it was at first. It felt like a natural career path but it’s lost its lustre after all these years.  I still want to help the cause but I need a change. One might say, I’m ready for another adventure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your idea of an adventure these days? Trekking through the wilds of a different place? A job on Wall Street? Making toys at the North pole?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The dullest adventure of all. Marriage, kids. A boring 9-5 job.” Jess laughed at the absurd simplicity of her dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t sound dull. Sounds kinda perfect actually.” He pulled himself off the ground, sitting close to her, their knees almost touching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I mean for me. I want so many kids. All the kids.” He held out his arms widely. “So many kids that we could start a sports team. But not, because obviously.” He shook his head in disgust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That may be a bit much.” Jess giggled at the thought of Bobby coaching a football team with a ton of mini versions of himself. “ I don’t think I would want to be that outnumbered. Three would be perfect for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting,” he said, turning to look across at the vista before refocusing on her. “I’m glad you came here, it’s uh. You me-This place wouldn’t be the same without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you're here too,” Jess answered, casting him a meaningful look, wanting to say more. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So, we should probably talk about us. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The words were on the tip of her tongue but stayed there. Whatever was happening, she didn't want to ruin it by dissecting their relationship. Right now their relationship was either dead or alive, but the answer could be either unless they opened the box. A real Love Island style Schrodinger's cat scenario. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. What do you miss the most about home? What’s your favourite thing about Glasgow?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Bobby stroked an imaginary beard. “Those are two different questions. I miss the people, my family, Clem, my mates at the kitchen. As for Glasgow. I miss sunny days.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, every day is beautiful- it’s ridiculous how perfect the weather is. But in Glasgow, it’s overcast, rainy so often that when the sun shines it’s special. And you appreciate it more. Now a question for you, what’s our favourite thing about Glasgow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed at the question, surprised that she hadn’t expected it. “That’s an easy answer. You are. I’ve never actually been though, so maybe it will change…” She trailed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shook his head. “It wouldn’t, I’m definitely the best thing about an already cool spot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever think your ego could use a beating?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby frowned, “Honestly, definitely not. I’m, well, not as confident as I pretend to be. Especially here, with the rest of the guys around. Definitely has me thinking I should hit the gym more and bake a bit less.” He offered a pained smile before looking away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wanted to wrap her arms around him and attack him with her lips- opening himself up to how vulnerable he was, revealing that he was living a life hiding behind false bravado, he’d never been sexier. Does he really not know how amazing he is? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he was with Jen. She couldn't be that bold, needed to be better. What happened with Levi, she couldn’t let that happen again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that Bobby would either, he wasn’t Levi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was better than that. He was the best. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grabbed his hand, and brought it to her lips, “I think you’re perfect, just the way you are.” Reluctantly she released his hand,  returning hers to her lap, feeling the heat rise in her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked at her with a surprised expression that quickly melted away into one of longing. His eyes warm and inviting, shifting momentarily for a glance to her lips. He pulled closer, beginning to close the distance, running a hand down her cheek and gently caressing her neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shiver shot down her spine as she moved closer, beginning to reciprocate the movement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both sat, each unwilling to make the move, each knowing that it shouldn’t happen. His nose briefly touched hers, and she leaned back taking in his bright amber eyes, full of wanting that they couldn’t satisfy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt trapped, fighting the pull towards him but unable to break away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, Bobby pulled away averting his eyes and shifting towards the villa. “Breakfast. Do you want breakfast?”  He stood offering his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Breakfast would be nice,” Jess answered simply taking his hand and pulling herself up to walk with him to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Breakfast, that’s what I need right now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. It is a long way to run; but run I shall if I cannot ride</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Ok everyone, flip your boards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gasps sounded as everyone craned to look at what their partners and fellow islanders had written.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After lunch, they had been called to the challenge stage to play a game of Mr. and Mrs. Thankfully the game didn’t involve snogging and the questions had been fairly mundane with each person having to guess their partner's answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The early questions were generic like celebrity crush and favourite food- which Jess nailed by guessing Rachel Riley and  Gary’s nan’s roast beef. But as the questions got steamier, they were quickly falling behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The friendship couple had shared details of their lives but had neglected to confide details such as their ‘favourite sex positions’ and ‘number of sexual partners’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess held up her board that said ‘socks during sex’ and looked over to see Gary’s board with the words ‘baby talk’ scribbled on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed- it was another question they had gotten wrong and turned to look at the rest of the answers, taking in each of the guy's biggest turn-offs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake’s board read ‘dirty apartment’ while Tim didn’t care for poor kissers. Rohan was turned off by body odour and Noah wasn’t into girls who spend too much time on the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked to Bobby last, almost afraid it would be something she was guilty of. When she finally dared to glance over, he was smirking in her direction. His board had the same answer she had guessed for Gary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She returned his smirk with one of her own. It had been fun, the sneaking glances, secret smiles. She beamed every time she got an answer of his correct. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice. She wished they’d had a chance to enjoy the early stirrings of a relationship. Everything had been stressful- how they had gotten together, and then broken apart before even having a chance to begin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The beginnings of a relationship should be fun, something to savour and this challenge reassured her that their mistakes hadn’t ruined that for them. There were still plenty of firsts to experience, and hundreds of little things left to appreciate and learn about each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glanced back over to see Jen casually reaching her arm around him and frowned at the complication. As awkward as it would be, they needed to talk, </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> talk about their feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While she felt reassured that Bobby still had feelings for her, another realization hit her- she might not be the only one he fancies. What if Bobby genuinely cares for Jen and the situation is less of a love story and actually a love triangle with Bobby agonizing over which girl to choose?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought burned in her chest. Looking back over, he was laughing at something Rohan said, still with Jen’s arm held in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They look nice together- like they could be happy. But we could be happy too, I know he feels it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He may like Jen, but what we have is special. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah read the last card. “Ok guys, If your girl had to couple up with a different boy, who would it be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked to her blank board. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This would be easy if I was answering for Gary. Lottie, easy. But me? It’s Bobby. But can I say that? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She looked over at Jen scribbling furiously on her board, strategically holding it away from Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t put Bobby in an awkward position and put his name down. It would make things harder for him with Jen. Jess reluctantly wrote down Jake and waited for everyone else to finish. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok everyone, show us your answers,” Noah called out, hosting the event with his typical brand of laid back energy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn’t help but look immediately at Jen’s board. Noah. </span>
  <em>
    <span>With a heart in place of the o in Noah. Could she be anymore cringe?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But she said Noah.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Interesting. She looked over at Noah. Calm, sweet, even-tempered unless pushed past his limit, Noah. They could be right for each other, both nice, warm, caring people. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Noah is unattached now that Hope is gone. He’s ruined things with both Talia and Priya. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe I could...No. I’m not manipulating things to try to get the result I want. I want Bobby to want me because he wants me, and if Jen and Noah get together it should have nothing to do with me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Be better, she repeated to herself like a mantra that needed to take hold of her brain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she said it enough times, maybe it would be true?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling Bobby’s eyes piercing her was a familiar feeling this game, but this time it wasn't tinged with the glimmer of joy and hint of attraction. She met his amber eyes and saw a look of confusion. He looked away almost immediately.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does he think I fancy Jake? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We aren’t falling apart due to a silly miscommunication. This isn’t a sitcom. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She almost had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the challenge was decreed over, Tim and Chelsea were announced to be the winners and would receive a night in the hideaway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah announced the news with such a hornball expression you would think he was the one going to the hideaway. Tim jumped up, leaping around in celebration while Chelsea held her hands to her face attempting to contain her laughter.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crap, if only we knew each other better, that could have been us,” Jess whined to Gary, letting out an overdramatic huff before a smile spread across her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you and me spending the night together wasn’t meant to be,” Gary smirked, casually placing his arm around her shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hear you two,” Lottie called out as Jess stifled a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Lottie.” Jess caught Bobby’s eye and smiled- for a moment before she noticed the blonde next to him grabbing his hand and pulling him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her joyful smile shifted into a frown. It was irrational but she hated Jen. For existing, being nice and perfect and beautiful.  Jen’s virtues made her the obvious choice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why wouldn’t Bobby want to stick with her? All I’ve done was screw with his head. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>With that thought, she left to find a place to relax and decompress.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies, we’re meeting around the pool. It’s bonding time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From a distance, she could hear Chelsea screeching the order at Lottie in the kitchen. She was exposed, laying on a daybed, out in the open, with Chelsea heading straight for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t we already know each other?” Jess complained before Chelsea could begin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>We</span>
  </em>
  <span> all do.” Chelsea gestured to themselves. “But we don’t all know Jen. She’s new and I know it’s weird and all. But we gotta.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss Allegra,” Jess moaned, rolling over and landing face down into a pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please give her a chance. You know none of this is her fault.” Chelsea grabbed at her arm, trying to pull her up. But Jess resisted, remaining dead weight as Chelsea fell forward onto the bed, letting out a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I don’t have to like her,” Jess protested, reluctantly turning over and pulling herself into a seated position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We all have to live together. You can’t just pretend she doesn’t exist. Especially if you want to stay friends with Bobby. You can’t exactly be enemies with his girlfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girlfriend?” Jess choked out the question, fighting a look of disgust. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t even joke about that, Chelsea. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not girlfriend, but you know what I mean. He likes her, we need to make an effort too. I think you two would hit it off. You’re pretty similar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard that before. It doesn’t make it easier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl, I know it’s rough. But we’ll be there for you.” Chelsea wrapped her arms around Jess, offering as much comfort as she could. Smothering her with love. “I’ll be the best bra I can be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stiffened at the choice of words. “What now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’ll support you like a good bra. We're like friends who support each other around the heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea, that’s a lovely sentiment. Thank you,” Jess said, letting herself relax into Chelsea’s embrace, touched by her unique brand of affection. “And I’ll try with Jen. But I’m not doing her nails or anything like that. And definitely not sharing any bras.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see.” Chelsea squealed, squeezing harder before releasing her tight grip of friend-love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What about you?” Excited about your big night?” Jess pulled away, giving her friend a grateful smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Chelsea said, shifting awkwardly at the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That means no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything ok? I’m sure Tim will unde-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, there's Priya and Talia. I gotta move.” Chelsea scampered away, presumably to alert the girls to the event. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Chelsea avoiding talking about her problems? I must be rubbing off on her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess watched as she emphatically waved her arms while Talia and Priya nodded along. They had been interrupted mid-massage with Talia seated on Priya’s legs, each wore an expression of polite irritation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reminded her of her own irritation and the dread that was now building over this upcoming ‘lady-time’. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Friendship with Jen? I guess I need to try, or at the least learn to coexist. It’s so hard to keep track of the days here, but there has to be at least three weeks left. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If we're both here till the end, I should make an effort. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon, all the ladies had gathered around the pool. Chelsea had arranged for Jake and Rohan to serve mocktails to assist with the bonding. It was a sweet idea, just like Chelsea. The girl made it difficult to not give in and embrace the ladytime spirit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would like to call this lady meeting to order. The only topic on the agenda. Welcoming Jen to our group of fantatbulous ladies.” Chelsea stood offering her glass to the others in a toast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome,” Jess smiled offering as much enthusiasm as she could pretend to muster as the rest of the girls officially welcomed the newest girl into the fold. She was sure her smile didn’t meet her eyes, but hoped no one would notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell us about yourself,” Talia encouraged. “We barely know you”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen smiled warmly, completely at ease with being the centre of attention. “I’ve lived in London all my life and I’m a fashion blogger for-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya interrupted, “That makes sense, you always look so good. Very chic. Almost as glamorous as I am.” She gestured to herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a good thing it isn’t a competition.” Jen laughed brightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it?” Priya smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are things with you and Bobby? How did that happen?” Talia asked, piercing Jen with a methodical and curious stare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shot a glare at Talia that seemed to go unnoticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to get into that,” Lottie interjected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's ok, I don’t mind.” Jen waved her hands dismissively. She was carefree and open, eager to discuss the burgeoning relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We aren’t alike at all. And does she really not get how upsetting this is for me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen flipped her hair smiling proudly and with confidence. “I got pretty lucky with Bobby. He didn’t seem interested at first, but once it was like clear, you know, that Jess was over him, and he let himself be open to other possibilities, things clicked for us.  He’s sweet and nice, and he can bake. He’s a little goofy, but I think I can iron that out of him pretty quickly. The other day he did the cutest thing, I was helping him with breakfast and he suddenly gave me this smile and poked me on the nose. If anyone else did that I would think was dumb, but like…there’s adorable about it coming from him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He booped her? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart sank.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That hurt more than seeing them kiss, laugh together, share a bed. Bobby took a gesture that felt special between them and tainted it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Giving his boops away like that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her stomach knotted in concern, flickering into anger. A tiny flame had been lit, frustration at Bobby. Resentment for him moving on. With one boop of the nose, he had made everything between them feel unimportant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was that his thing? Maybe she had never been special. It was just a thing he did when he liked someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something he did with countless girls.  She felt the rage beginning to bubble up and then evaporate into nothing. Chilled by the realization she had overestimated her own importance.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How stupid of her to think she’d been special. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, you two seem solid,” Chelsea said flatly, the chipper blonde sounding unenthusiastic about anything was always strange. It was becoming more common, but still disconcerting. It didn’t feel like Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This place seemed to be screwing with them. This show could be an elaborate psychological experiment, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so, I’m excited to see where we go. I like him a lot,” Jen said, not showing any signs that her words had bothered anyone in the group.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wanted to say something but her mouth was dry, she opened her mouth and nothing came out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please change the subject, someone, anyone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are things with you and Rohan?” Lottie directed towards Priya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rohan?” Priya barked out in surprise, before laughing lightly at the question. “I don’t think he could handle me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good?” Chelsea said awkwardly as if she couldn’t decide if it was a question or a statement and if she should be relieved or offended on behalf of Rohan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you going to go for at the next recoupling? I hope it’s soon, being stuck with Noah is...well it is what it is.” Lottie trailed off, looking over at Gary lifting weights as Noah assisted, spotting him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might give things a go with Noah again. Or Jake. I’m not sure. I can’t figure either of them out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Jess asked, having finally regained her ability to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They both run hot and cold, I can’t tell if either of them is into me or not.” Priya ran her fingers through her hair, focusing more intently than the act required. She paused for a moment before continuing. “It’s frustrating but it almost makes me want them more. It’s just….I don’t want to waste my time. This has been fun, but I struggle with commitment.  And I’d like to actually find a partner here but it’s tough being interested in men who are allergic to talking about their feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded. “It’s hard to talk about things sometimes. Maybe you could chat with them and tell them how you feel. That matters too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The urge to betray Jake's confidence was strong. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He loves you, idiot. Go to him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But it wasn’t a romantic comedy and it wasn’t her place to intervene. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, talk to them. I want to be wooed. Feel special and loved, someone to make a big fuss over how much they want me. Not any of this… ‘ugh maybe...we could go out sometime’ passive nonsense.” Priya snarked, indigent at the idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grow up, Priya.” Lottie rolled her eyes. “You’re not a fucking princess, you’re going to end up alone with an attitude like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya pursed her lips, raising an eyebrow. “That’s rich coming from you. You’re in a non-relationship with a guy whose head is on one of those swinging pole things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Talia asked, speaking for the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because his head just turns all day,” Priya answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning to Lottie, Jess expected to see her red with fury at the accusation of Gary. Instead, she was red, holding in the laughter threatening to let loose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s laughter sputtered out, and was contagious, pulling the rest of the group in. At least they had all bonded over something today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over at Jen, head thrown back in joyful laughter. Her feelings for Jen hadn’t changed, if anything she resented her more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she could pretend not to hate her? But they weren't friends. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess quietly moved through the rest of the day. She avoided talking to the other islanders, hid out in the lounge, spent three times as long at the beach hut as usual because she wasn’t giving detailed and enthusiastic enough answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t let go of what Jen had said. What Bobby had done. She felt betrayed by the actions of his finger, daring to boop the nose of another.  It was hard, something important had been taken from her. At first, she had felt anger towards Bobby, but now she only felt emptiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Occasionally, she could feel Bobby watching her and avoided returning his gaze. She sleepwalked through the evening, politely nodding through conversations while the numbness kept hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at her phone, she wanted to count the minutes until she could go to bed and didn't have to pretend to be ok. She threw her phone on the ground. Useless for anything other than texts from the producers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She picked it back up and began pacing, forcing herself to stay active. Spotting a group of islanders by the fire pit, she went to join them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening to Lottie prattle on about different types of tarot cards didn’t help settle the building anguish. Neither did Priya and Talia placing bets on whether or not Chelsea and Tim would go all the way in the hideaway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she was more angry than sad, she could do something. Drink. Fuck someone. Anything. It wouldn’t actually help, but could momentarily distract from the pain. Instead, the darkness called. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reminding her she had never been worthy of love. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All because of a stupid boop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slunk away from the group while the rest sat enraptured as Gary was told a spooky tale of his youth. Jess crept to the pool, where she had started her day. It had felt hopeful, her chat with Bobby, like it may work out. And now she felt like there was nothing left to hope for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doing ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked up once again to see Bobby and quickly shifted away, looking towards the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, same old here. Not much ever changes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some things change,” he said, still standing. She could feel him watching, trying to figure her out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat down next to her, plopping his feet into the water. It was so familiar, soothing but painful. Sitting together quietly, she felt frozen. Unable to speak or look at him, knowing whatever she did or said would only hurt them both. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have to do something. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess dipped her toe into the water before immediately pulling back and settling in cross-legged instead “Too cold.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at him was impossible- if she did, would she fall apart? As long as she kept her eyes fixed on the water, she could fight off the tears threatening to emerge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” he asked, his concern obvious in the tone of his voice. The sound of someone who cared immensely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, she felt silly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed bitterly, continuing to focus on the dark depths of the pool. She couldn’t tell him, it was dumb. It was embarrassing that she was falling apart over this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was irrational and crazy. Their feelings for each other were more than a symbolic gesture of affection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it still hurt. And she couldn’t pretend it didn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, she said nothing, letting the silence awkwardly linger, the absence of an answer louder than any words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want things to be over,” he said quietly. “With us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel his eyes on her, and she couldn’t help turning to look, captured by those sparkling amber eyes. “I….I  don’t either. I really made a mess of things.” She chuckled, the tension lessened by their admissions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’ve helped matters.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, I’m..sorry, you know how sorry I am, right?” Jess pulled her hair away from her face, needing to do something physical. The anxiety of what she felt had quickly become unbearable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hoped, but it’s nice to hear it confirmed.” He smiled, her favourite sight. It was sweet and genuine, not the pained forced smiles that had been more recently seen on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had missed seeing him happy, being the one to make him happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She paused, knowing it needed to be addressed. “Jen likes you a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he answered, shifting his gaze towards the fire pit and the sounds of laughter for a moment before returning focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Studying his face carefully, he had an expression of guilt- a desperate pleading look. The face of someone who wanted to be told what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not my place to decide this for you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed and looked deeply into the eyes that were searching hers for answers.  “I don’t want to ruin things for you too. If you’d be happier….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d be happier with you,” he said simply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart skipped a beat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean a lot to me,” she responded, cautiously reaching for his hand. She let out a deep sigh as he accepted it, pulling her closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together they sat, fingers entwined, leaning against each other, enjoying the company and avoiding further talk. It didn’t seem necessary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever happened, for the first time she knew they would be ok. And that felt like enough tonight.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jess awoke and felt a slow grin spread across her face, remembering yesterday’s conversation with Bobby. Waking with a feeling of hopefulness was a pleasant, unfamiliar sensation. It was nice, she felt lighter, almost euphoric.  She had finally chosen to get out of her own head, and let herself be happy and trust in her relationship with Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today was going to be a good day, she felt it in every part of her being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was snoring a few beds over with Jen, but today it didn’t devastate her. Even if it wasn’t today, they would find their way back to each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled out of bed, careful not to wake Gary slumbering beside her and began her day. As she approached the kitchen eager to start her morning with a hot cuppa, she caught sight of Chelsea sunbathing at the pool. The sun had barely peeked over the horizon and yet there was Chelsea, not in the hideaway with Tim. Chelsea, a normally late sleeper up before dawn, wearing her sunglasses, posted in the spot she usually secured every day for hours unless there was a challenge or it was mealtime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring her need for caffeine, Jess walked towards her and threw herself into the spot next to her blonde bra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning pretty lady,” she chirped, not wanting to immediately dive into the question on her mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s wrong? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Morning,” Chelsea responded in a tone that meant it was anything but.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you want to talk about?” Jess hesitantly asked, watching her closely. “I didn’t expect to see you at all this morning. Is everything ok with Tim?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just...last night...with Tim.” Chelsea stammered awkwardly, pushing herself up to sit on the edge of the lounger, moving closer to Jess. “It ….was.” She paused, voice lowering to almost a whisper. “It... you know it. It. wasn’t good.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded in understanding. “Not every first time together is going to be magical, maybe next time. You’ll know each other better and get more comfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if there will be a next time.” Chelsea bit her lip. “There was zero sexual energy. It was like we were two neutered dogs fumbling around pretending to want it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s an image.” Jess crinkled her nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened last night wasn’t much sexier.” Chelsea groaned. “I was already feeling like I made a mistake and last night confirmed everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Chels. Are you going to chat with him today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess so. It’s crazy though, he seemed to think everything was fine. Like it was normal. He tries so hard at rapping. He didn’t put any of that effort into last night. He has to know how bad the sex was.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooof. That’s rough. Maybe lead with something other than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea sank back into the lounger. “Yeah, I need to figure it out. The whole thing is making my head hurt. This is supposed to be fun, right? We're on vacation, finding love. And it’s become drama this, drama that. It’s exhausting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was right, it’s been a bit much. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s make this a fun day, no boy drama,” Jess said excitedly, hoping her enthusiasm would be contagious. “Spend some solid lady time together. We’re all stuck in our pairings until the next recoupling. Let’s try to make this time as chill as possible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl, I love it. Thank you. I so hope there's a recoupling soon. If it’s girl's choice, I think I’m picking Rohan. I still fancy him and he’s been giving me some looks. Looks that say ‘hey baby, I’m still into you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you blame him?“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even a little bit,” Chelsea sighed. “No drama, that sounds nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey girls,” an unfamiliar female voice called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Both girls turned and saw an approaching girl with fire-red hair waving in their direction. Next to her was a slim man with mousy brown hair pulled up in a bun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like,” Chelsea said, casting her eyes toward the new male arrival.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Chelsea exchanged a short look before standing to greet the newcomers. The redhead immediately launched herself into Chelsea’s arms. “Good morning darling, I’m Cherry. It’s so nice to meet you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too, I’m Chelsea. You’re so gorgeous, you look like trouble. You aren’t going to be trouble, right?” Chelsea sputtered out nervously, entangling herself delicately from Cherry’s embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed stepping in to address Cherry, holding her hand out to discourage a hug. Cherry reciprocated with a limp handshake as if she couldn't be bothered.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So, she doesn’t like me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Cherry, I’m Jess. Welcome to the villa. And you are?” She turned to the quieter of the new duo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seb. Nice to meet you both.” He reached out and shook Jess’ hand before attempting the same with Chelsea who waved off his hand and pulled him in for a welcoming hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go let the others know that you’re here,” Jess said, making a dash for the villa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>New people. Normally it would cause an ache in her stomach thinking about the chaos and drama. But today she wasn’t letting it get her.  This was going to be a good day. Good vibes. No drama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking through the bedroom, couples were just beginning to wake, a sign that the lights only recently turned on. She yelled out, “New islanders. Alert. New Islanders.”  as she rushed through the room to begin getting ready for the day. Hoping to grab a shower before it was swarmed by the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After showering and dressing for the day, Jess went to the terrace to escape the crowd. She was surprisingly eager to properly welcome the new arrivals but needed five more minutes alone before the busyness of the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Opening the door to the terrace, she felt her heart drop into her chest in shock as her eye was drawn to a hairy ass thrusting into someone from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” she called out, stepping backwards and almost tumbling over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Gary responded, shifting to face her and literally pulling Lottie along with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess turned quickly around, but she had seen </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. More than she ever wanted to see of either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. Sock on the door, maybe next time?” She was unable to hide the judgment in her tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Move along, like you’ve never fucked on the terrace,” Lottie spat out, before erupting into laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved down the stairs. “Fair point,” she yelled as she left the couple to their business.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, that was something. I’m never going to look at Gary the same way. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Joining the others around the firepit, Cherry was regaling the group with her life story. She was some sort of performer but Jess found it more interesting to watch the men’s reaction to her. They were clearly captivated by the new girl who had managed to look simultaneously like a porn star and a sexy farm girl. Vibrant long flowing red hair, bright green eyes, full red-painted lips, and perfect curves. Chelsea was right, she did look like trouble. Priya’s face was stuck in a frown. She must recognize her own competition. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess contained a small smile fighting to emerge, unable to help herself from enjoying the knock to Priya’s ego. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seb was more subdued but friendly, he seemed nice, worked at a record store. And most importantly, he had a cat. Jess immediately knew they would be friends. He had a laid back personality and a hipster vibe without the moody negativity of Kassam or the flighty hedonistic energy of Rocco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My cat is actually pregnant, I just found out before she left,” he said, pulling her out of her own head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, that’s awful,” Lottie said sympathetically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I rescued her not too long ago, I went in to get her spayed and </span>
  <em>
    <span>surprise,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Seb said. “I’m hoping to be able to adopt out the kittens, but I’ll probably keep one of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could you not?” Priya cooed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, you have to take one of the kittens.” Bobby’s eyes were bright with excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels like it was meant to be.” Jess laughed, catching confused looks from others. “Oh, sorry. I had told Bobby yesterday that I wanted a cat after leaving. And voila, cat.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catching Jen staring daggers at her, she gestured to Seb to redirect the conversation. “What’s your cat like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her name is Doom, she’s grey and fluffy. A complete monster.”  He shifted his arm to show long scratches running it. “It’s a tough life being a cat dad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry giggled, drawing attention back to her. “I can’t wait to explore the villa, it looks amazing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can show you around, give you the grand tour.” Gary winked. “Show you every inch of this place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie at least pretended not to be bothered by Gary’s blatant flirting, but at moments the facade fell away and Jess could catch her casting annoyed glances towards Gary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noticing Priya glaring and Chelsea nervously picking at her nail, Jess felt like the only one not threatened by the new bombshell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even cool and collected Talia seemed rattled by the sexy outsider. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seb paused when his phone dinged and read out a message for the crowd. “</span>
  <b>Seb and Cherry, welcome to Love Island. You may pick two islanders to take on a date. Choose wisely and head to the jeeps immediately.</b>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seb looked thoughtful for a moment before answering, “I pick Lottie and Talia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia's concerned face shifted into a wide grin and Lottie couldn’t hide a self-satisfied smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry stood up, scanning down the group of islanders.  “You boys make this so hard, all look so fit. But I can only pick two so I have to go with Jake and Gary.” She grabbed each of the boy’s hands and led them out of the villa, with a wide grin on her face. Both boys looked flustered as they were dragged away, but neither looked back. Cherry had come in like a siren and captivated all the men.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over at them, each had their eyes fixed on the sultry redhead. Except for Bobby who was watching her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She beamed at him, throwing him a wink- at least he was immune to Cherry’s charms. Quickly she looked away remembering his relationship status. She wasn’t entirely sure if he’d had </span>
  <em>
    <span>the talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Jen yet, and recognized that she should play things reasonably coy until it happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As some of the group left on their dates, Jess enjoyed a leisurely day at the pool with Chelsea, Priya, and Jen. She tried zoning out every time Jen mentioned Bobby- battling the twisting of her gut, but otherwise was beginning to enjoy Jen. She had an odd sense of humour, you couldn’t quite tell if she was joking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As annoying as it was, she could see why Bobby liked her. Jen was easy going, without being a pushover. Fun but in a somewhat regimented way. And she had a perfect nose. Jess had always hated hers, but here was Jen showing her up with her perfect dainty nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite everything, she hated Jen a little less today. Validation from Bobby had reassured her.  Jen felt like a non-issue now that she could so clearly see a future with Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group returned a couple of hours later and were greeted with the news that there would be a welcome party that evening for the new islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After some gentle coaxing, Lottie revealed her thoughts on the new guy. “Seb seems really cool. I’m obsessed with his look. Mostly. We had a long chat about tattoos, I can’t believe he doesn’t have any. He’s got a chill attitude about it, he wants one, but knows one will lead to many and hasn’t landed on what his first should be. He’s gonna look so hot with some ink.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded along despite not necessarily agreeing with her. Tattoos weren’t something she ever saw the appeal of, not a deal-breaker, but not a turn on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia dismissed Seb as too quiet. Despite their mutual interests in music, sparks had failed to ignite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m doing something wrong,” Talia moaned. “I haven’t clicked with anyone. Any of the guys,” she quickly corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t doing anything wrong,” Chelsea said. “You’re amazing and these guys have been fools for not recognizing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not even me. I don’t like them either.  I feel like I’m running out of chances, how many new guys will they bring in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe your perfect match is here, and you just haven’t realized it yet.” Lottie gave her a knowing look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so,”  Talia said flatly before making excuses about needing a snack and rushing away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The day breezed by with Jess focusing all her attention on cheering up Chelsea and Talia. Meanwhile, Cherry enjoyed the attention of the men, watching them work out at the gym.  Priya pouted, at one point her eye visibly twitching while watching the display. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After dinner, Jess retreated to the dressing room with Chelsea and Priya to prepare for the party. This was the first one Jess had actually felt excited for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I could so use a party. It’s been too long since we danced. Everything’s been so stressful lately. I can’t wait to shake, shake it off.” Chelsea’s ramblings turned into singing as the girls primped and prepared for the evening’s party to welcome the new arrivals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess focused on herself, putting slightly more effort into the evening by wearing lipstick and eye makeup, either was a rare occurrence but today she wanted to feel beautiful. Match her inner happy energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia joined the girls, a nervous look on her face. “Has anyone seen Lottie?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya looked up from her mirror. “Bobby and I were chatting with her in the kitchen a bit ago. Maybe she’s there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia let out a deep sigh. “I have to tell you something, but I need everyone to promise not to tell Lottie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This doesn't sound good,” Jess said flatly looking at the others for confirmation. Chelsea’s eyes were sparkling with excitement and Priya couldn’t hide how curious she looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We promise,” Priya said as the rest of the girls confirmed nodding in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“During our dates earlier, when I was getting up to leave I saw Gary kissing Cherry,” Talia confided, quickly spitting the words out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea dropped her lipstick. “OMG, how could he do that to Lottie? Urgh, I knew that Cherry girl was trouble. What a good for nothing trollop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chill Chelsea. If anything happened, don’t blame Cherry, it’s Gary’s fault,” Jess said, desperately wanting to keep this from escalating. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s Gary’s fault?” Lottie murmured from the doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess knew she looked like a deer caught in the headlights, but the words were trapped in her throat. How could she tell Lottie that Gary cheated on her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry Lottie.” Chelsea went to hug her but Lottie pushed her away and crossed her arms defiantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone had better tell me what’s going on right now.” Lottie ostensibly said to the group, but her eyes pierced Jess, demanding to be let in on the secret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pursed her lips sadly, looking around at the other girls. Talia’s eyes were glued to the mirror, a guilty look on her face. She clearly wanted to be anywhere else. And not the one to confirm the tea she had already spilled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess released a quick breath before reluctantly speaking. “On his date today, Gary kissed Cherry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?” Lottie asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talia saw it,” Jess answered.</span>
  <em>
    <span> No use in hiding it. Better out than in as Gary’s nan would say.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gary. What a knob head. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Lottie paused, considering her next words carefully. “What kind of kiss?” She directed towards Talia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A proper snog, maybe five seconds. ” Talia pulled her hair away from her face, settling her hands under her chin. “I’m sorry Lottie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie was silent a long moment before speaking. “Who kissed who?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t see, when I looked over it was already happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Lottie said calmly, her sharp green eyes giving way to the fury beneath. “I’m going to go handle this.” She turned and left, walking purposefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Off to yell at Cherry? Or Gary? Or Both?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess finished getting ready and left the room. The mood was sombre, as everyone knew a tsunami of drama was about to disrupt their peaceful day. Jess let out an exasperated breath, it was frustrating, she felt helpless unable to know how to best help Lottie. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How horrible for her, to be cheated on again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She wanted to throttle Gary, how could he? What was he thinking? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, I’ve been looking for you.” She heard the voice she wanted to hear from least. Jen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shifted towards the incoming girl, feigning an enthusiastic greeting. “Hey, Jen. How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen waited to speak until she was standing close, a stern determined expression on her face. “I’ve been wanting to chat with you girl to girl. I don’t know what you did to Bobby, but like he’s acting weird and you need to stop it. You already messed him up so much, I don’t know whatever game you’re playing with him. You need to let go of him, he’s happy with me. Or he would be if you would stay out of our way. Ok?” Jen smiled, a disingenuous bitter smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jen’s boldness left her feeling incredulous and annoyed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised an eyebrow, resisting a smirk. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Someone’s feeling threatened. </span>
  </em>
  <span> “Not ok. You should talk to Bobby because you clearly haven’t been.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</span>
</p><p><span>“Nothing.” Jess sighed. </span><em><span>It’s not my place to dump Jen for Bobby.</span></em> <em><span>Even if I do want to throw it in her stupid face.</span></em><span> “You should go talk to him. I’m not coupled up with you. And I’m not staying away from him just because you tell me to.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Jess walked quickly away before Jen could answer. This was a conversation she wasn’t eager to continue. Maybe Jen wasn’t such a perfect, sweet girl after all? She was certainly showcasing her possessive side today.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why does she think things aren’t over with her and Bobby? How did he let this happen? I thought we were on the same page, but maybe not?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking outside, the villa had been transformed for the party. But Jess barely noticed, her thoughts focused on one thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Where are you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell?” A loud shriek shot out, a sound that could be heard for miles. The voice, unmistakably Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait, it's Chelsea. We’re probably just out of gin.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, she went to find Chelsea to help her in her hour of need. A chat with Bobby would have to wait. Wandering around the villa, she walked past Bobby and Gary chatting in the kitchen. She smiled lightly, resisting the urge to linger and drag him away to the terrace and force him to hash things out. He winked at her, eliciting a quick laugh from her before she continued past, heading inside to search for Chelsea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she entered the bedroom, a pillow flew past her face nearly hitting her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooops. Sorry, Jess,” Chelsea called out before launching another pillow, which landed on a wall a few feet over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything ok?” Jess asked as Chelsea continued her pillow assault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh everything is dandy. Just dandy,” Chelsea said as she went to retrieve her thrown pillows and proceeded to throw them again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t seem like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea deflated, settling down on the floor, placing a pillow to her head.  “It’s just. Rohan and Priya. I walked in on them earlier,” she said, her voice muffled by the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, Chelsea, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that boy thinking? I thought he fancied me. Priya acted like it was no big deal, like she didn’t betray me. Urgh,” Chelsea moaned. “I’m so mad at her. I told her earlier I still liked Rohan. It’s like she doesn't care at all. Literally just straddling him on the terrace like it wasn’t a big deal.” She trailed off, her anger dissipating into sadness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea had a sweet playful innocence about her, her broken-heartedness reminded Jess of a girl whose favourite toy had been smashed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess kneeled down, wrapping her arms around Chelsea. “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I don’t have a reason to be upset, but I am. I thought he liked me,” Chelsea said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. She leaned her head against Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat together for some time before Chelsea finally spoke. “The music started. Let’s go dance.” She perked up, lifting her head like a dog that’s caught the scent of its target. “I need to dance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could dance,” Jess said, offering her friend a warm smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna dance with somebody,” Chelsea began to sing. “Wanna feel the heat of somebody.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a full laugh as both girls stood. Holding hands, they walked out of the bedroom, ready to let off some steam through the magic of dance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking back onto the lawn, the party was in full swing. Chelsea darted towards the dance floor to join Tim, Bobby, and Jen. Seb nodded to the music off to the side of the group. Cherry stood between Noah and Rohan, somehow making them both look equally aroused and uncomfortable. That woman had a gift. Priya sulked next to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the firepit, she heard the sounds of a woman yelling. Taking a quick glance to confirm, it was Lottie giving Gary an earful. Jess tried not to stare, pretending not to hear the torrent of accusations being thrown at Gary.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m strangely proud of her for saving her fury for Gary, instead of blaming the other woman. I wish it was something I could do myself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t blame Jen, exactly. She didn’t steal Bobby from me. She’s not been malicious or manipulative. Our problems had little to do with her, but she’s still an obstacle and I can’t help but resent her for existing. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching Jen laugh with the others, Jess felt the residual anger beginning to simmer. But it was quickly replaced with guilt. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why can’t I be good and kind? And not irrationally hate her? Lottie is growing up, moving past her arrested development. Why not me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m hopeless.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s one person missing here, Jake. Where could he be? Does he know about Priya and Rohan? Chelsea’s loud enough to make everyone aware that something happened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanna dance...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking one last wistful glance at the dance floor, she shuffled off to search for Jake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ultimately she found him on the terrace, looking introspective as he sat on the bench with one foot propped on the table. His soulful brown eyes turned to meet hers as she stepped onto the terrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew from the lost expression on his face, he had found out about Priya and Rohan’s terrace bits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, I’m so sorry,” she said, not knowing what else to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s….it’s fine. I know I need to let this go, it’s just hard to realize that the person you care for doesn’t feel the same way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But she doesn’t know how you feel? Maybe that would change things?” Jess suggested, settling down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm not sure that’s true. Priya is wild and fun, I know that. I like that about her. And she’s not ready to settle down. As much as I love her, she’s not the person I need in my life. And I’m not who she needs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that unless you talk to her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake kept his mouth clamped shut, a hurt expression laying heavy on his brow. “I do. This isn’t insecurity or fear talking. It’s a fact. One I have to make peace with. Thanks for coming up Jess, but please go have some fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can I have fun when I know you’re up here alone?” Jess held out her hand. “Let’s go dance, I promise to stay by your side the whole night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake's lips relaxed into a smile, and he nodded, accepting her hand and letting her lead him back to the party. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Returning to the party, Lottie had joined the party on the dance floor while Gary was chatting with Bobby and Noah over at the firepit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding hands with Jake they made some quick cocktails with the ingredients that were haphazardly left on the counter. Mint was strewn carelessly and a bottle of tonic had been knocked, spilling over onto it. It was a mess, but one Jess had no interest in cleaning up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring it, they went to join the others at the firepit when raised voices on the dance floor called to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no. I should..,” she trailed off, looking over at Jake for approval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go, I’ll be fine,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’ll be back soon.” Reluctantly, Jess released Jake’s hand and went to investigate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my fault, and you aren’t even together,” Cherry yelled out. “Take it up with him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie barked in laughter. “Oh believe me I have. And we’re done. But it doesn't change that you came here and immediately went after the one serious couple. What kind of game are you playing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not playing any game. It just happened. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you just fell on each other's lips?” Lottie raised an eyebrow dismissively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No but...” Cherry’s lip quivered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None of the girls here trust you now. How could they after you pranced in like a giant slag and started making a play for all the guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? You kiss Gary today, and now you’re grafting on Noah. What would you call it?” Lottie spat out bitterly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exploring my options. Maybe you should try it,” Cherry snapped back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood, wanting to intervene and calm things down, but felt anchored to the ground, unsure of how to interject with neither giving pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby rushed over to Lottie. “Hey, hey, Lottie. I know you’re upset. You have every right to be. But let’s go chat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie glared back at Cherry before giving a resigned sigh. Bobby wrapped an arm around Lottie and led her towards the beanbags.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess watched them leave, no one quite seemed to know what to do. The music was booming, attempting to draw the crowd back to the floor, but the party atmosphere had been dampened by the drama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess followed after Lottie and Bobby, finding them sitting close together- Lottie had her head in her hands, lightly sobbing as Bobby rubbed her back with his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess knelt on the ground next to the beanbag Lottie had collapsed into. Tentatively, she lightly caressed Lottie’s hair, still not knowing what to say. She looked at Bobby for guidance and he offered a pained smile as their eyes briefly met. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Poor Lottie. My heart breaks for her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie finally broke the silence between them. “I know this is dumb, I feel like such a fool. First Levi and now Gary. I really liked him. Gary, not Levi.” Lottie, paused looking up towards Jess. “I was honestly a little relieved when I found out about you and Levi.  I already had my suspicions about you, I got the moral high ground and could move on to Gary guilt-free. Maybe I deserve this for being so smug about it all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, you didn’t deserve any of this. Not Levi, and definitely not Gary. What did he say when you talked to him?” Jess asked, continuing to stroke Lottie’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the worse part, he deflected, like it was my fault for expecting monogamy. Because we aren’t officially coupled up.” Her voice strained, struggling to get the words out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s shitty, you may not be officially together. But that’s just a technicality. In every way that matters, you’re together.” Jess paused. “Or were.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It makes me wonder what would have happened after this. Would he have dropped me the second we left? He said earlier...that he wasn’t sure his Nan would like me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, Gary’s a total eejit. You deserve so much better," Bobby said, his eyes glimmering with concern. “You’re a total catch and I know you’re going to find someone actually good enough for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching him reassure Lottie reiterated one of Bobby’s best traits, he was a great friend, it was something she appreciated about him. He was kind and good without strings or expectations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I do deserve the best,” Lottie smirked momentarily before falling back with a groan. “But I liked him. I guess it’s good that this happened before we coupled up again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded, hating herself for feeling so helpless, struggling to say anything that could actually help. Guilt over what happened with Levi resurfacing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm not sure what it is but I’m sure there's a lesson to be learned here. Not trusting crane operators and polo players.” Lottie let out a bitter laugh as she pulled herself up from the beanbag. “I’m going to get ready for bed, I’m not exactly in a party mood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me-” Jess began to stand as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok. I’d like to take a long shower and be alone for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I completely understand that.” Jess reached out for Lottie’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I’ll make sure Gary sleeps outside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for that. For everything. Both of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie wandered towards the villa in a daze, the stress of the day had clearly worn her down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Lottie gone, Jess felt the crushing guilt weighing her down. She settled into Lottie’s now empty beanbag. She furrowed her brow, lost in her own mess of regrets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok?” Bobby asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you seem a little...distracted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess a bit. I’m just thinking about things. Mistakes,” Jess said carefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi?” He asked with a look of apprehension.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d you guess?” Jess chuckled lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a skill.” He winked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d almost forgotten about Levi, it feels so long ago. What a mistake that was. The situation, a clusterfuck. I’ve screwed up so many times here, my list of regrets has grown pretty long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you don’t see me as a regret.” Bobby laughed nervously, his eyes burning with quiet desperation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They exchanged a long look, and Jess smiled wistfully at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, never. But I obviously wish I had handled things differently. I’ll never forgive myself for how I treated you, how I made you feel.” Jess averted her eyes, focusing instead on her hands. Her guilt manifesting in a need for distraction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s thumb caressed her chin, pulling her gaze back to him. “I forgive you and I’m sorry too. I overreacted. I wish I hadn’t brought Jen back. It’s made things hard for both of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had gained the courage to ask the question she’d been wondering. “Why did you? Was it just because you were mad at me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. At least not entirely. I was hurt and sad about everything with us. She was nice and reminded me of you. It’s dumb but I thought if I fell for you, I could feel the same way about her. It had been such a short time since we got together, I thought it might be easy. But it wasn’t. She’s not you and I can’t pretend otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s silly, but I was upset yesterday because I found out you booped her.” Jess couldn't look him in the eyes as she admitted this. Keeping them down, instead fixed to her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh that.” He frowned. “I knew as I was doing it that it was weird. I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t done it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you hadn’t either, but we’ll be fine.” Jess reached for his hand, bringing it to her lips. Bobby sighed, moving to close the distance. Her heart beat a little quicker as she watched his eyes shift to her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they came close to touching, Jess pulled away. “I’m going to snog you silly next recoupling, but not till then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait.” He smirked flirtatiously. “And I agree. It's probably for the best.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for understanding. I should go find Gary and have the awkward talk.” She kissed him on the cheek and headed back to the party to look for Gary. Walking away, she could feel his eyes watching her and smiled to herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary seemed to be prepared for an attack when Jess approached. With a hangdog expression, he already looked guilty and miserable. She directed him over to the gym away from the noisy music and prying eyes. He shuffled awkwardly keeping his eyes glued to the floor, obviously prepared for a lecture. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He looks miserable enough, no need to rub salt in the wounds.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess broke the excruciating silence. “I don’t want to dissect things with you, ask you why you did it. I’m here to ask you to stay outside and give Lottie some space tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was thinking that might be best. I really screwed things up today,” Gary said, almost as a question rather than a statement- like he was asking her to tell him that what he did wasn’t that bad and forgiveness was in reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked sad and desperate. It would have been pitiful if it wasn’t his own damn fault. But Jess could relate, having had her share of self-induced villa disasters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did, and I don’t know that Lottie will or should forgive you. Do you want her to?” Jess asked, genuinely curious for an answer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What had Gary been thinking? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do. But I know she won't. I think I got scared, I fancy the pants off her. I was thinking about introducing her to my nan and the rest of my family. I kept thinking what if they don’t like her. Got in my head about it. And Cherry. This new girl came in and she was saying all the right things. It felt nice to feel wanted. Not that Lottie doesn't do that..” Gary groaned sitting down on the weight bench. “It’s such a mess. I feel completely done for.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, You kinda blew it. And I say that as someone who's done that a lot. I wish I knew what to say. Leave her alone so she could move on? Fight for her if she means that much to you?” Jess shrugged. “I don’t know what the right advice is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t life be nice if you did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed it would, nice and easy.” Jess glanced back over to the lawn taking in the sight of Chelsea and Priya arguing in the middle of the dance floor while Cherry stood in the middle, trying to talk over them. Rohan looked miserable as the rest of the group looked on. Jake had gone missing again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Today really fucking sucks,” Jess said looking over at Gary who chuckled before nodding in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Who knows, maybe tomorrow will suck less?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can only hope,” She agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a deep breath, before moving towards the dance floor, preparing to help mediate the conflict between Chelsea, Priya, and Cherry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then track down Jake...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tomorrow. Please be better.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. The dark night has passed, and day has come again. But the day has brought strange tidings.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Managing the chaos of yesterday left Jess exhausted. She overslept, waking only when the lights shot on. Groggily pulling herself up, she scanned the room noticing a few missing islanders. </p><p>Gary was, of course, absent- his side of their bed left untouched. </p><p>Yesterday was a hot garbage mess of a day. </p><p>Jess sighed, leaning back against the headboard. <em> Please let today be less stressful. </em>As much as she loved everyone here, the drama was beginning to wear on her. If it wasn’t for Bobby, going home didn’t seem so bad. Had she been naive thinking Love Island would be fun? Instead, it was at best dull and at worst excruciatingly stressful navigating the constant minefields </p><p>
  <em> Peacekeeping is too much work. It’s almost easier being in the centre of the drama.  </em>
</p><p>Waking up late was frustrating and led to a handful of other minor irritations- waiting for a shower. Having to interact with others before caffeine. <em> I hate it. Never again will I be the last one awake. </em></p><p>Scarfing down a bowl of cereal, there was quiet throughout the villa. After the drama of yesterday, everyone seemed to be keeping their distance, avoiding anything that could lead to a conflict. Every clink of her spoon against the bowl was awkward as the others sat near her. It was a noisy choice she now regretted.</p><p>Cherry let out an occasional melodramatic sigh, which seemed to beg for someone to console her. A task no one seemed to want to take on. Not with Lottie, the actual victim, standing so close. Cherry abruptly stood, her chair scratching against the floor as she rushed away from the group. </p><p>An awkward silence lingered until it was disrupted with the ding of a phone. </p><p>Noah pulled out his phone and read out the message. “Islanders, this afternoon the boys will be performing in a talent show. The girls will choose which boy’s overall act impresses them the most. The winner will be crowned Mr. Love Island....Well that should be fun.” Noah’s words didn’t match his serious tone, his brow furrowed like he was already mentally preparing for the competition. </p><p>“Ooooh.” Chelsea squealed. “I can’t wait, I love judging things. Do you think we can get one of those judge robe things?”</p><p>“I have a cape you can use, if you want?” Lottie offered, speaking for the first time all morning.</p><p>Chelsea smiled brightly at her. “Thanks, girl, I should have known you would have my back in the style department.”</p><p>“I got this in the bag,” Tim shouted out. “I got those sick rhymes, right babe.” He gently nudged Chelsea standing next to him.</p><p>“Of course, yay. You got this babe,” Chelsea said, before taking a long sip of tea. If Jess didn’t know better, she would believe Chelsea’s words. </p><p>“I can't wait to judge you, I hope you all bring it,” Priya purred. </p><p>Jake’s face was plastered with a smile that didn’t match the terrified expression in his eyes. Gary remained sullen, head downcast as he picked at his nails. </p><p>“What about you, babe?” Jen directed towards Bobby.</p><p>Bobby simply shrugged. “Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.” </p><p>Jess tried to stifle a laugh but it burst through, Bobby would make that reference. It was one of the many things she loved about him. </p><p>The boys shuffled off, presumably to plan their display of talent. </p><p>The girls stood there, silently avoiding each other’s eyes. The awkwardness was palpable now that the conversational buffer created by the men was gone. Jess looked everywhere but at Jen, while everyone did the same with their own enemy. <em> I hate that we’re all off with each other right now. </em>Maybe today will be the day to mend things with Jen. </p><p>“I’m going to go do yoga, ” Lottie said, making a swift exit. </p><p>As the other girls split off, Jess spotted Cherry lounging alone by the pool and a wave of sympathy for the troublesome new girl hit her. Slowly, she approached. </p><p>“Good morning, Cherry. Mind if I join you?” Jess asked as Cherry looked up at her.</p><p>“I don’t know why, didn't you all decide you hate me? After what I did. I’m sure that’s what Lottie wants.”</p><p>Jess sat down in the lounger, not waiting for permission from Cherry. “Lottie isn’t forcing anyone to hate you. To be honest, she’s too busy being hurt by what Gary’s done to care about you.”</p><p>“I want everyone to like me. I don’t want to be trouble.” </p><p>“Then why did you do it? You had to know it was going to end badly for you?”</p><p>“I don’t know, I guess it just happened.” Her chin wobbled delicately as a tear fell down her cheek.  </p><p>Jess rolled her eyes. “Things don’t just happen. If you don’t want to talk about it, that's fine. But I hope you can think about how you treat people. I’m not saying you’re the villain, but you don’t get to whine and pretend to be the victim here. You burst onto the scene, never made an effort to get to know the girls, and kissed the one guy with a committed partner.” </p><p>“I don't know what you want from me. I don’t think you came here just to hear me say sorry.”</p><p>“I came over here to try to be your friend. But if you want to wallow, that’s your choice.” </p><p>“Oh it's easy for you isn’t it, queen Jess. With all the guys fawning over you with your good girl bullshit. Some of us have to work harder to be taken seriously.”</p><p>Jess stood, lacking the energy to defend herself. Her peacekeeping abilities had been stretched too thin, her patience worn down by every mini-meltdown, justified or otherwise that had recently happened in the villa. She had her own problems to deal with. Why waste energy on someone who can’t bother to help herself?</p><p>As she stood to leave Cherry reached for her, grabbing her wrist desperately. “I was so excited to come here. And now I’ve made this one mistake that’s messed everything up and I seem like this terrible person.  I didn’t think it would get like this in here. I’m not this kind of girl, ok. I don’t….,” she trailed off as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m really sorry, ok? I understand that I’ve upset Lottie. I’ve never been in this position before so I don't do this sort of thing. Getting off with blokes behind their girlfriends backs…”</p><p>“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Jess asked softly.</p><p>Cherry sighed. “Gary really wants it to work out with Lottie. He really likes her.“</p><p>“Then why was he making out with you on a date?”</p><p>“It wasn’t like that. We were talking about our nans. And like what they were probably thinking watching us here. And it just sort of happened. I don’t know. It was nice. And now, everything’s ruined. He doesn’t even want me.” </p><p>“How do you know that?”</p><p>“He told me right after. He made it very clear that I was a dumb mistake.  Oh you just don’t get it do you?”</p><p>She turned and stormed off.  Jess shrugged and lay back in the lounger.<em> Can’t win them all. </em> </p><p>The boys were in a huff most of the day, looking stressed and hurried trying to plan their talents for the show that night. They managed to stay mum but tiny elements of preparation were spotted throughout the day. Jess spotted Bobby baking and stumbled upon Noah talking to himself on the terrace. Jake paced on the lawn as Rohan practised walking on his hands. </p><p>It was fun to see them so stressed out while the ladies relaxed. Cherry and Jen spent most of the day together.  As the two newest ladies, it made sense that they would bond. Kindred spirits, not feeling entirely welcome by the rest of the girls in the villa. Regretting how their earlier conversation had gone, Jess was glad Cherry had Jen to confide in. It had to be lonely for them.</p><p>As frustrated as she was with the situation she and Gary had created, she didn't hate Cherry. She just didn’t understand her or care enough to make an effort. </p><p>Throughout the day, Lottie was quiet- introspective and maintaining distance from others. It was strange to see her so subdued like she was waiting for something, but uncertain. Was she hoping to see Gary? Did she want to see him? </p><p>Chelsea and Priya stayed on opposite sides of the villa. </p><p>
  <em> I don’t know what to do to fix this for anyone.  </em>
</p><p>A cold wave had taken over the villa. Competition anxiety for the men while the awkward fallout from yesterday’s scandals still lingered. </p><p>
  <em> Summer of our lives, right?  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After an early, quiet dinner and dull beach hut session, Jess was approached by a bouncy Chelsea. “Let’s go see what the boys are up to. I wanna sneak peek.”</p><p>“You know, I can’t resist you when you're excited about something.”</p><p>“I know,” Chelsea smirked.</p><p>Jess joined Chelsea to lurk by the changing room, trying to get a preview of the boy’s performances. As they moved through the bedroom, the door opened and Bobby and Tim emerged.  Simultaneously, both men’s eyes widened in surprise.</p><p>Tim pulled Chelsea in for a hug.. “Couldn’t stay away, babe. I’ve got some time, it’ll have to be quick though.” He feigned a glance at his invisible watch. </p><p>“What, no..I just..” Chelsea blushed at the suggestion.</p><p>“It’s cool, I get it. I missed you too.  Let me run my rap by you.” </p><p>They shuffled away, leaving Jess alone with Bobby.</p><p>“Looking good, babe,” she said, gesturing down to his pants with a smirk. While Tim had been fully clothed, Bobby was clad in dark green, silky pants covered in multi-coloured sprinkle doughnuts. Still goofy, but sexier than his usual choice.  Not being able to touch him was a challenge, the uncertainty of not knowing when a recoupling was coming adding a wrinkle to any flirtation.  </p><p>As if remembering something, he lit up. “I’m so glad you’re here.”</p><p>“Me? What for?”</p><p>“I need you to help me with my dress?”</p><p>“Your dress?” She raised an eyebrow, intrigued by his question.  </p><p>“Priya’s dress. I’m borrowing it. Tim refused to help. You should have seen him taking joy in my struggles.”</p><p>Jess dramatically plopped on the bed, laying on her stomach with her hands holding up her chin. “Should I be jealous? My dresses not busty enough for you?”</p><p>“Something like that.” He winked. </p><p>“Maybe next time you can find something of mine to fit into.”</p><p>Bobby’s cheeks turned pink. “Someone’s a tease today.”</p><p>She pulled herself up and stood, walking towards him.  Tension crackled in the air as she left only a small gap between them. Running a finger down his chest, her lips found his neck.  “I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you,” she said her voice barely above a whisper. </p><p>He swallowed hard as her hand moved lower, trailing further down. He sighed until she stopped, not reaching where he needed her.  She slowly moved her hand away, moving to pull back her hair. “What’s your special talent?”</p><p>“Huh?” A look of confusion set on his face.</p><p>“For the show, silly?” </p><p>“Oh, um. Don’t you want to be surprised?”</p><p>She laughed. “You should know me better than that.” </p><p>“True, but you should know that I love surprising you. You should get used to it.” He stepped closer, reciprocating her earlier movement and he brushed his hand gently down her face and neck. </p><p>Closing her eyes, she savoured the feel of his touch.  “You’ve had the talk with Jen right.” </p><p>“Of course.” He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on the top of her head.  “I can’t wait until it’s official." </p><p>“Nervous?”</p><p>“About us?”</p><p>“No, the competition?”</p><p>“Honestly? Bricking it.” He laughed, his eyes confirming his concerns. </p><p>“You’re going to be great.” She placed a hand on his jaw. “Be the crown. Now, let’s get you into that dress.” </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Jess headed back onto the lawn, the stage had been set up for the competition. Pillars sat on each side of the constructed stage with a judge’s table set in front.</p><p>A text went out letting everyone know it was time to begin and the girls slowly settled in at the judge’s table. Chelsea twirled in the cape she had borrowed from Lottie before taking a seat. </p><p>“I’m loving the power we have today,” Priya said with a smirk. Her phone dinged and she stood to read a text.  </p><p>“Welcome to Mr. Love Island. I’ll be your host today. Each boy will make their way on stage and show off their…” Priya paused deliberately. “Talent. And then the girls will vote for a winner who will receive this lovely tiara and sash. And a special prize to be announced later. Let’s hear it for our first contestant ...Noah.”</p><p><em> It would be nice if this could bring us all together. </em> Looking down the line of women, they each had beaming smiles. Excitement permeated the air. If only it could hold. Pulsating techno music began to play as Noah emerged. The girls whooped and hollered, Chelsea sat back in her chair placing her feet on the table.</p><p>Noah ripped off his pants to reveal form-fitting black trunks, drawing the girl’s eyes directly to his enticing bulge. Jess let out a loud whistle in appreciation. </p><p>
  <em> Does Noah own breakaway clothes? Does he have a secret night job as a stripper?  </em>
</p><p>Jess looked at the other girls. They were entranced by his choice of clothes and twerking abilities. </p><p>Until he spoke…</p><p>“In a cave in the woods, in his deep, dark lair, through the long cold winter sleeps a great brown bear.” </p><p>Noah animatedly performed a dramatic retelling of a children’s book. <em> Ah, makes sense. He does storytime at the library.  </em></p><p>“I know this is a kid’s book, but am I crazy for thinking this is the sexiest thing ever?” Cherry asked.</p><p>Priya sighed leaning back in her chair, “Not at all, right there with you.” </p><p>“Ho, Mouse, says Hare. Long time no see. So they pop white corn. And they brew black tea.”  Noah finished his tale to cheers of approval from the group. </p><p>“Not bad.” Jess clapped, nodding appreciatively.<em> Not so long ago, I thought Noah and me might be something. He seems back to that person I thought he was- kind and gentle. </em></p><p>Gary strutted out next, wearing a red budgie smuggler pants that competed nicely with Noah’s look. He walked across the stage pausing to strike different muscle man poses. </p><p>
  <em> The boys are definitely dressing to their advantages today. And I approve.  </em>
</p><p>Gary’s actual talent proved to be less exciting as he launched into detailed instructions about the process of building a birdhouse. As Jess zoned out she caught a glimpse of Lottie, her eyes fixed on her hands. She looked tense, ready to explode in irritation at any moment. Priya yawned loudly receiving glares from some of the others.</p><p>“What?” Priya smirked. “I can’t even pretend to find this interesting. May as well hurry it along.”</p><p>Gary left the stage to a smattering of applause as Priya went to introduce the next contestant. </p><p>Tim strutted out, and danced the robot before breaking out into a rap.“Yo, I’m rapping Tim and I’m here to say, it’s fun to rap in Love Island way. I was on a hype when I first walked in. Then, I met this ten out of ten. Had a league one chick but my tings Prem. 'Name any MC that I’m not iller than, Big T and I can rhyme in Castilian. I ask the ladies ¿Como esta? ¿Dónde está la biblioteca? I run this villa, my rhymes are killer, I’m always fire and never filler.”</p><p>For something he had worked on all day, it failed to impress her. The rest of the girls seemed to enjoy it more, cheering along to his ‘sick rhymes’.  </p><p>Rohan made everyone laugh with his talent. He had taken one of the girl’s makeup and made himself into a clown, using pale skin foundation (maybe Lottie’s) and eyeliner and lipstick as accent elements. He juggled apples, walked across the stage on his hands, and finished up with some cartwheels. </p><p>Seb performed yo-yo tricks. He winded it, releasing it with precise movements. He went around the world, walked the dog, and various other tricks Jess was unfamiliar with. </p><p>“Did he bring that from home?” Lottie whispered in her ear.</p><p>Jess stifled a laugh and shrugged, returning her attention back to Seb wrapping up his act with an elaborate spin.</p><p>The girls cheered on the newest boy of the villa before he left the stage. </p><p>“Next up is the hunkiest chef of all of the UK, Jake,” Priya announced to the cheers of the girls. </p><p>Jake nervously stepped on the stage, dressed in a dark blazer and tie with a checkered shirt. It was the most formal look Jess had seen all summer, even if he did look like a sexy college professor. </p><p>“I wanted to recite my favourite poem, it reminds me of my favourite person.” </p><p>“She walks in beauty, like the night</p><p>Of cloudless climes and starry skies;</p><p>And all that’s best of dark and bright</p><p>Meet in her aspect and her eyes:</p><p>Thus mellow’d to that tender light</p><p>Which heaven to gaudy day denies.”</p><p>As he read the poem he kept his eyes fixed on one person. There was no misinterpreting his intentions. With love and gentle affection shown in every look, every word he spoke to Priya, his adoration was clear.  Jess melted into a puddle. Risking a glance at Priya, she looked overwhelmed and unsure. Pulling herself together, Priya wiped a tear from her eye as she stood to announce the final contestant.</p><p>“Please give a warm welcome to a master baker who’s sure to get your temperature rising…”</p><p>Jess let out a giggle.</p><p>“What?” Chelsea asked, confused.</p><p>“Master-baker.” Jess grinned, before bursting into laughter. “Say it fast.”</p><p>“Masterbaker masterbaker. Masterbaker. Oh. I get it now.” Chelsea nodded knowingly. </p><p>Bobby sashayed onto the stage wearing a silver slinky number of Priya’s to the laughter of the group. He danced, managing to fall only once before performing a medley of songs, all familiar ones from the public domain while the girls pretended to not gawk at the overstuffed bulge hiding beneath his dress.</p><p>
  <em> I wonder if the producers told him had to sing something they could legally air.  </em>
</p><p>“Oh my darling, oh my darling</p><p>Oh my darling, Clementine</p><p>You are lost and gone forever</p><p>Dreadful sorry, Clementine”</p><p>As the song ended, he pulled out a large handkerchief from his cleavage, shaking it and with a flick of his wrist and a puff of smoke, the hanky disappeared and a perfect cupcake appeared in his hand. </p><p>Music and a splash of baking and magic. So very Bobby. </p><p>“Where was he hiding that?” Lottie asked.</p><p>“Oh no, the bulge,” Chelsea squealed with laughter.</p><p>He jumped off the stage, landing with a surprising amount of panache and placed the cupcake in front of Priya. “Something sweet for something sweet.” He smiled at Priya before winking at Jess and making his exit. </p><p>
  <em> Strange, I guess it makes sense that he wouldn’t want to make a big show of us, Jen has to be hurt that he broke things off.  </em>
</p><p><em> And I guess it makes sense to choose Priya since he borrowed her dress</em>. <em> This shouldn’t bother me, this shouldn’t bother me.  </em></p><p>“Ok ladies, time to make a decision,” Priya called out.  She was living for her role as a master of ceremonies. <em> After Love Island, I could see Priya hosting a show. She has a certain spark.  </em></p><p>The girls headed over to the firepit to deliberate, waiting to speak until they were out of earshot of the boys who had taken over the lawn now that the competition was over.</p><p>“Rohan’s was really good,” Talia suggested. </p><p>“So was Tim’s rap,” Lottie added. </p><p>“But Jake’s poem? It was so emotional. It was something out of Twilight,” Chelsea swooned. </p><p>
  <em> I’m impressed all the boys put so much effort in.  </em>
</p><p>“Maybe we should figure out who to eliminate first?” Jess suggested. </p><p>“Gary’s out, he practically put me to sleep,” Priya said.</p><p>Everyone, including Lottie, nodded in agreement. </p><p>“I would eliminate Seb, he didn’t exactly wow,” Talia said. “Noah too.” </p><p>“Awww, I thought Noah’s was fun. It was sexy and adorable,” Cherry defended. </p><p>“Noah was good, but I don’t know if I think it was good enough to win,” Priya said thoughtfully. “There was something missing.” </p><p>“Ok, so it’s between Tim, Jake, Rohan, and Bobby?” Chelsea put a finger to her chin. “I thought Bobby’s was the most fun.”</p><p>“Bobby’s outfit and talent may put him over the edge,” Priya said. “I’ve always wanted a boy to wear one of my dresses. I imagined it in a more romantic private setting if you get my drift. But Bobby looked amazing.” </p><p>“I thought it was a bit of a turn off,” Jen said, scrunching up her nose.</p><p>Lottie rolled her eyes. “You would. I thought it was hot. I vote for Bobby. His eyeliner was on point. And he put on a good show.” </p><p>“I think Bobby or Jake should win,” Jess said in an attempt to be diplomatic.  “Jake’s poem was really sweet.”</p><p>
  <em> I want Bobby to win, but Jake could probably use the confidence boost that a win would provide. </em>
</p><p>“Maybe if we would have written it himself,” Priya said. “A famous poem isn’t exactly original.”</p><p>“That’s true,” Jess reluctantly agreed, watching Priya carefully for signs of how she felt. Unfortunately, Priya wasn’t giving anything away. A glamorous face of stone. </p><p>“Ok, let’s go with Bobby. Everyone in favour?”  Talia asked.</p><p>Chatting with the girls about something as dumb as who should win a talent competition was refreshing, she had missed the joyful girly squealing, everyone having fun and enjoying the comradery.</p><p>Tonight was a blissful return to fun, which they all seemed to need.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>As the girls returned to the judge’s table, the men headed back onto the stage to await the news. Bobby held hands with Rohan, closing his eyes and muttering to himself.</p><p>Priya walked down the line of men, holding the tiara and sash, teasing them with the prize. “Everyone was great, but there can only be one Mr. Love Island.” She paused, letting the anticipation linger. “And the winner is….Bobby,” Priya excitedly yelled out. </p><p>Bobby jumped up and down, dramatically weeping in celebration and blowing kisses to the crowd. Priya placed the tiara on his head and sash around his neck, both he accepted enthusiastically. The prize couldn’t have gone to a more grateful winner. His celebration was short-lived as a familiar ring was heard from a phone in the distance.</p><p>“Oooh, I think that’s mine.” Bobby retrieved his phone and read the message for the group. “Congrats on winning Mr. Love Island. Your prize will be choosing first at tonight's recoupling.” He looked up from his phone. “That’s all it says.”</p><p>Lottie’s phone dinged and she quickly pulled it out to read the message aloud. “Everyone, please meet at the firepit in 10 minutes for a surprise recoupling.”</p><p>Relief and excitement shot through Jess. A recoupling, tonight. And Bobby was picking first. They would finally be coupled up. She was giddy with anticipation as a smile spread across her face.</p><p>She looked to him, to find a similar expression on his beautiful face. That face she would finally kiss later, touch without guilt. She wasn’t afraid, knowing exactly what she wanted. </p><p>The boys rushed off to quickly change, while the girls waited at the fire pit. Silent and wondering.</p><p>“This is bullcrap,” Chelsea whined. “We don’t even have a chance to catch up beforehand. Tim’s going to pick me. And why wouldn’t he? He thinks everything is fine. I can’t even tell him now.” Chelsea stomped around the firepit.</p><p>“Chels, I know it’s awkward but just tell him quickly,” Jess suggested. “ It's better than him picking you and finding out after?” </p><p>“I don't even know who I want to pick me now that Ro-....now that I don’t have anyone else. I need time to figure out my options.” </p><p>“Well, you can have Rohan. I can't see that really going anywhere,” Priya cut in, shrugging her shoulders indifferently. </p><p>“No thanks you already ruined him for me.” Chelsea pursed her lips. </p><p>Priya raised a brow. “I ruined him? Are you serious?”</p><p>“Why do you assume Chelsea would want your scraps?” Talia narrowed her eyes at Priya, who looked surprisingly gutted by the question. </p><p>
  <em> I wonder if the guys are freaking out as much as we are. We’ll just have to trust them to make the right decision.  </em>
</p><p>She noticed Lottie, standing alone, her arms wrapped around herself. Jess stepped closer, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Lottie, you ok?</p><p>“No, I’m not. After everything yesterday, I don’t know what I want. Who I want. What I want to happen here. I’ve done readings today, meditated and all I have is uncertainty. My future isn’t clear.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I really am.” Jess hugged Lottie loosely from the side. </p><p>“It’s not my fault,” Cherry suddenly called out.</p><p>“OMG, no one said it was,” Chelsea yelled, rolling her eyes with an intensity Jess had never seen from the bubbly blonde. </p><p>“Everyone’s been treating me like it all day long.” Cherry stomped her foot with frenetic energy. </p><p>“Everyone’s been leaving you alone all day.” Priya’s eyes narrowed at the buxom redhead.</p><p>“Exactly,” Cherry huffed in frustration. “It’s like I don’t even exist now.”</p><p>“So, you’re upset that people aren’t mad at you?” Lottie asked in a rightfully incredulous tone. </p><p>“That’s not it,” Cherry said, her voice lowering defensively. </p><p>“It sounds like you just want attention. And you’re upset that everyone’s not giving it to you?” Talia smirked. </p><p>“Shhhhh,” Chelsea suddenly said, shushing the group and directing them to the handful of guys making their way toward the fire pit. </p><p>Tim, Rohan, and Noah arrived first, followed quickly by Seb.</p><p>A few minutes later, Bobby and Noah joined. Gary looked frazzled, panicked.</p><p>Bobby was looking good tonight, less of a fashion disaster than usual in a solid navy blue button-down shirt and dark jeans. She wanted him badly- soon they would be coupled up and she could rip that shirt off him. But not actually, since it wasn’t as tacky as his typical style that deserved to be thrown into the fires of Mount Doom.  </p><p>It made her happy that he might have put in extra effort to look nice.  Bobby caught her eye and smiled warmly, sparking excitement in her. It was happening, they were on the same page, nothing to stop them. The joyful anticipation was setting in, it was everything, filling her up in a way that was new and unfamiliar. </p><p>The boys settled on the benches while the girls stood in a line in front.  A phone beeped and Bobby looked at his phone before standing. He smiled nervously. He was nervous, why was he nervous? Her enthusiastic confidence dissipated, replaced with confusion as she carefully watched Bobby, trying to figure him out. What was wrong? Something was wrong. </p><p>Does he really not know who to choose? Her stomach dropped at the thought. That can’t be right. </p><p>“I didn’t expect to be saying this today and I’m sorry.” He opened his mouth to speak and promptly closed it again. Bobby glanced at Jen momentarily before shifting back to Jess.</p><p>She relaxed, the look in his eyes telling her everything she needed to know. </p><p>All of her fears melted away, he looked at her with complete adoration. She had seen that expression earlier when Jake looked at Priya. Except this was mutual. She knew she was looking back at Bobby, feeling the same way for him. </p><p>“I’m picking this girl because nothing makes me happier than making her smile. She’s beautiful and funnier than she thinks she is. And quickly came into my life and became my best friend, my favourite person.  She’s the one I want by my side. No matter what happens next, I would always choose her.” He grinned, looking happier than she thought possible. “ The girl I want to couple up with is Jess.”</p><p>The moment had finally arrived and she felt relief in every part of her. Somewhat in a daze, she walked over to Bobby, falling into his arms. She didn’t know who initiated it, but they relaxed into each other like they were exactly where they were supposed to be. Elation settled within her. <em> Is this what contentment feels like? </em></p><p>“What,” a voice flatly called out. </p><p><em> Jen. </em> </p><p>He tensed at the interruption. “I’m sorry, Jen. I didn’t exactly have a chance-.” </p><p>
  <em> Oh.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That’s why he was nervous. </em>
</p><p>The realization struck her like a hammer in the gut, he hadn’t ended things with Jen yet. Jess felt her jaw drop, more shocked and confused than angry. All of the flirting and teasing which had been going on for days. She looked over at Jen who looked equally angry with him. </p><p>Why hadn’t he told her? She listened to him defend himself, offering Jen a stammering useless apology, a quiet fury building within her.</p><p><em> He lied. He told me he broke things off. Why didn’t he?  </em>This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. </p><p>“Jess, your phone.” Lottie interrupted her thoughts.</p><p>“Now that Mr. Love Island has chosen, it’s time for the girls to choose. The girls and Bobby can have a seat. Boys line up and hope you’ve made a good impression on the girls today.”</p><p>Chelsea looked like she was going to blow a fuse.</p><p>The boys' faces shifted into relief while the girls clearly felt the pressure of the shift. It didn’t look empowering but stressful, extreme pressure having to make a decision so quickly.  </p><p>“Change places,” Tim shouted excitedly amongst the grumbles of the others as they moved into position. </p><p>Jess and Bobby settled in at the far edge of the bench as the others settled into their new positions. His hand landed on hers and she stiffened at his touch. Keeping her head forward, eyes holding on to the fire in front of her, she could feel his disappointment. </p><p>There was only one thought, one question still running through her head. Why hadn’t he told Jen? </p><p>
  <em> Am I crazy for being upset about this? He can’t possibly be surprised I’m upset with him.  </em>
</p><p>Lottie stood first, shaking her head, her eyebrows furrowed together. She looked more confused than she had when she chose Gary over Kassam. </p><p>
  <em> Poor Lottie, I wonder if she knows what to do. Does she wish she had picked Kassam?  </em>
</p><p>“I….” Lottie paused, briefly looking to the sky. Searching in the stars for answers? “I don’t know what to do. I should but I don’t. But I have to pick someone so the boy I want to couple up with is Gary.”</p><p>Gary’s mouth dropped in surprise. “Really, Lottie?” He brightened walking over to her, reached towards her. </p><p>She stepped back away. “No. We aren’t there yet,” she said, turning away from him and sitting down. </p><p>Gary’s face shifted into one of sadness and he glumly sat beside her, a careful distance between them. </p><p>Priya was the next girl to stand. She confidently and purposefully looked down the line of men.</p><p>
  <em> Please pick Jake. Please, Priya. </em>
</p><p>“I haven’t had a lot of time to think about this, but when I do there’s one person with who things feel unfinished with. He’s someone I think deserves a second chance so the boy I want to couple up with is Noah.”</p><p><em> Noah? </em>Jess resisted the urge to grumble aloud about Priya’s choice. Like Lottie, it was her own decision to make but Jess couldn’t help but think she had chosen wrong. Noah’s face lit up in surprise and he happily joined Priya, wrapping his arms around her. They sat together as Chelsea took Priya’s place. It was now her turn to choose. </p><p>Chelsea halfheartedly chose Tim, he didn't seem to notice her lacklustre speech. He celebrated by running down the line of men, hand outstretched begging for high fives. It was strange how oblivious he was to Chelsea’s growing indifference </p><p>Cherry chose Jake which seemed an interesting choice having barely seen them interact. <em> I wonder what Priya thinks of that? If she cares at all.  </em></p><p>
  <em> Maybe she doesn’t. </em>
</p><p>An angry-looking Jen stood next. “This isn’t how I was expecting the night to go.” She glared at Bobby with an intensity Jess hadn’t thought Jen capable of.  “But since my partner abandoned me. Picked someone else without a heads up. Like a coward. I need to pick someone else. Someone with a spine who I hope will appreciate me. I don’t know this boy well, but I have a feeling we’ll be a good match. The boy I want to couple up with is Seb.”</p><p>Seb sauntered over with a relaxed energy and reached for Jen’s arm leading her to sit down with the others. </p><p>Talia stood last and laughed. “I guess it’s you and me,” she directed to Rohan before choosing to couple up with him as friends. </p><p>“So, I guess that’s it,” Talia said, anticlimactically ending the recoupling. </p><p>Casting her eye over the group, no one seemed happy. Unsurprisingly, there was a lack of celebrations for islanders happily coupled up with their dream partner.  A miserable cloud had overtaken the villa. Jess caught Jen scowling at her. She couldn’t even blame the pied off girl.</p><p>
  <em> Is this even entertaining for the people at home? What were the producers thinking? Are they taking pleasure in our torture? </em>
</p><p>The weird anxiety from earlier still remained,  not solved by a recoupling which left people in different but maybe not ideal pairings. </p><p>
  <em> Even me and Bobby. It doesn’t feel like it should.  </em>
</p><p>Jess turned to look at Bobby, catching a glimpse of Jen heading right towards them.</p><p>“We need to talk,” his ex said, arms crossed and a stern look fixed upon her dainty, angelic face. </p><p>Bobby shot Jess an apologetic look before leaving with Jen. Jess returned it with as furious of a glare as she could muster.  They moved inside and minutes later she could hear Jen’s voice raised in anger from the terrace.</p><p>As someone also angry with Bobby, she supposed that would be her next.  Her chest felt heavy with dread. She didn’t want to be angry with Bobby, instead wanting to hug him and enjoy that they were finally officially together. </p><p>Was she more angry or confused by his actions? It was hard to know. More than anything, she was disappointed. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go for them. He ruined what should have been an exciting night by not being honest with Jen. It wasn’t as bad as Gary’s actions. <em> But still, not great, Bobby.  </em></p><p>Jess went inside, plopping down on the couch laying in wait for her turn to yell at Bobby. Occasionally she could still hear a faint muted shout from the terrace. She got up, beginning to pace the room, anxious to get it over with. </p><p>Eventually, the sound of heels on the stairs carried down and Jess stood, preparing to move in. She felt a wild feral energy. Jen gave her a death glare as she passed, and Jess moved past to join Bobby. With fury guiding her, she moved onto the terrace prepared for an attack. Bobby was standing looking out over the villa, his back facing her. </p><p>It reminded her of her second night in the villa when she found Levi there, shining in the moonlight. It felt bittersweet, much like their coupling up tonight had been.</p><p>“What are you up to?” she asked softly, moving to stand next to him. </p><p>“Just thinking about things. The day. If I should have done things differently.”</p><p>Jess barked in laughter, “You absolutely should have done things differently.”</p><p>“I know,” he said looking over at her and offering her a pained smile.</p><p>A bitter consolation prize for the joyful smile she had hoped would be awaiting her this night.</p><p>She sighed knowing it was time- time to be mad, to let him know how much he hurt and confused her with his inaction. Clearing her throat, she forced her anger out. “What the hell happened tonight Bobby? Why didn’t you tell her?  And don’t give me any of that bullshit about not having a chance to tell her. You should have told her yesterday. Or the day before.  I thought we were on the same page. Instead, you lied about it. When I asked you specifically today, you lied.” Her voice was restrained breaking occasionally as she tried to hold it together. </p><p>He looked broken and empty as he took her words in. “I’m...I’m sorry.” His voice cracked as the words left his lips. “I don’t even know why. It was an awkward conversation to have and I kept putting it off. I just..”</p><p>“That’s not it. You’re still lying.” Despite her best efforts, her voice raised in volume, the aggravation coming up to the surface. </p><p>“I’m not lying,” he said defensively as if he was trying to convince himself as well as her. </p><p>“You are, you could have told me that earlier, instead you lied. If it had just about being afraid to tell Jen you would have told me that.”</p><p>Bobby sighed, his expression softening as he slowly settled in on the bench. Jess stood watching him, as he avoided her eye.</p><p>“What did I do? I thought we were good. Moving towards something we both wanted and now? Now I have no idea what I did wrong.” </p><p>“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry, I don’t know. I got into my head about it, that if I ended things with Jen you would change your mind.”</p><p> She crossed her arms, sighing in exasperation. “You didn't want to end things with her <em>just in case </em> I changed my mind? Seriously Bobby?”</p><p>“It’s not like that, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I was afraid the moment I told her something would go wrong with us?”</p><p>“You don’t trust me. Is that really what you think of me?” </p><p>“I don't mean that you were vindictive, just that…. Something would happen and you would change your mind about us.” He reached for her hand and she stepped backwards, just out of his reach. </p><p>“You think I’m that fickle?” Her stomach tightened realizing that it was probably true. She hadn’t exactly been consistent in her romantic interests since coming to the villa. </p><p>Bobby stayed silent, the silence speaking volumes as he hesitated. His mouth quickly opening and closing as he struggled to formulate a response. </p><p>
  <em> I thought the viewers at home may think that, but I thought he knew me better.  </em>
</p><p>Jess puffed her cheeks, letting the air slowly escape, and plopped down next to him letting the pain wash through her.</p><p>
  <em> Will things always be this way for us?  </em>
</p><p>“I was afraid, I’m sorry. It’s not that I... It’s more about me than you. That you’ll remember that you’re too good for me. Because you are. And I’ve been worried there might be something between you and Jake. That you’re going to realize he’s more your type.”  </p><p>“Me and Jake?” Jess raised an eyebrow, holding back a chortle.  </p><p>“It seemed like there might be, like if things fell apart with us, he would be there for you. Until tonight, I thought he liked you, I was getting dramatic pining vibes coming from him. I didn’t realize you weren’t the target.” </p><p>“I feel for Jake. He’s completely in love with her and I don’t think it’s mutual. I thought she might realize her feelings for him. But I don’t get the feeling they exist.”</p><p>“I don’t want to betray Priya’s trust but they aren’t mutual. She likes someone else.” He tapped the side of his nose knowingly. </p><p>“Poor Jake,” she sighed, leaning back and looking up into the sky. “You aren’t totally wrong about me and Jake. The night you brought Jen back, we kissed and there was a spark. But not enough of one. I won’t pretend it hasn’t crossed my mind but it didn’t feel right for either of us.”</p><p>Bobby let out a sigh, smiling in relief. “That makes me happy to hear.” </p><p>“Does it? You’re not worried I’m going to change my mind tomorrow and dump you for Rohan?”</p><p>“I didn’t until now. You and Rohan, huh? Can’t say I saw it coming.” </p><p>“You’re the worst.” She pushed him on the arm. </p><p>“You know you love it.”</p><p>“I do, you know.” She paused. “I care about you and, not to make any grand declarations but I can’t see that changing anytime soon. You’re officially stuck with me.”</p><p>“Good, same. I mean.” He flushed, adorably stumbling over his words. “I’m happy to be stuck with you, officially coupled up and everything. But I do believe I was promised a snog once that happened.” </p><p>Jess let out a bitter laugh remembering why they were up here. What Bobby had done. “You think you’re getting a kiss tonight? After the bullshit you pulled? And you thinking I’m fickle? This isn’t how this night was supposed to go. I’ve been so excited for this, imagined how the night would go. And now... you ruined it.  I hate you a little bit for ruining it for us.” </p><p>“How was it supposed to go?” he asked playfully, her anger ebbing away with his teasing. </p><p>“It was supposed to be this big romantic thing. Where you say really sweet things and-”</p><p>“I thought my speech was nice,” Bobby interrupted with a smirk. </p><p>Jess gave him a withering stare. </p><p>“Sorry, please go on.” He scooted closer to her on the bench.</p><p>“Oh no. You ruined that too.” She let out a laugh, a genuine one this time, unable to help from falling into the absurdity of lamenting her ruined expectations. “Can we just...can we go to bed and figure everything out tomorrow? I want to be mad at you now.”</p><p>“Of course.” He stood, reaching down and holding out his hand for her take, his amber eyes attempting to draw her in. “Do you trust me?”</p><p>She stood and pushed past him. “Maybe tomorrow.” She continued walking to the terrace door before turning back. “Coming?”</p><p>“With you? Anywhere, lass.” </p><p>He moved towards her, with a vulnerable questioning look.  She reached for his hand giving it a gentle squeeze as they left the terrace. Her steps felt a little lighter as together they went to face their future.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. I spoke hastily. We must not be hasty.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After a bittersweet first night sharing a bed with Bobby, Jess shot out of bed, eager to avoid the topic of their relationship before coffee. It had been weird, walking into the bedroom holding hands, catching Jen watching them. Instead of embracing the awkwardness, they shifted away from each other, made uncomfortable by her watchful eye.  A reminder of why she should be mad at him. Why wasn’t she mad? She </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby kissed her on the shoulder, before turning away, a careful distance left between them. Out of consideration for Jen?  Because he didn’t feel comfortable with her?  She didn’t know or ask, but it was weird.    </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess avoided even a glance at him sleeping next to her as she left the bedroom.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There should have been spooning- a cheeky kiss, maybe some light groping before falling into a deep restful sleep. The next day they would wake up early, cuddling and giggling about who was going to make coffee. Expectations were a dangerous thing but had hers really been that high? He picked her but kept Jen on his hook just in case. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If Bobby doesn’t trust me after all my mistakes, I can’t exactly blame him. But at this point, what can I even do to change his mind? If I can’t, we’re doomed. I don’t want to have to constantly reassure my partner of my affections. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was frustrated, not even mad at this point, it had shifted into something worse. Anger is fleeting, but it’s been replaced with doubts. Real doubts which are tiny little flames that if not squelched could turn into something truly devastating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lay on a daybed outside, too lost in thought to make tea and officially start the day. As she traversed the maze in her head, she was startled by a body plopping on the bed next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby beamed at her. “Good morning," he said as he shifted to his side, his arm holding up his face.  He smiled. God, that smile. It made her forget. Realize her doubts were silly, something they could work through. She felt herself light up, his joy infectious. This felt right. Exhilaration shot down her spine as she reached for his hand, warming her up in every way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby usually seemed to have a playful glint in his eyes, a particular jaunt in his steps. Today it seemed magnified. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” she replied, losing herself in his amber eyes popping in the morning light.  “Your eyes, they’re extra golden today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned, arching his brow. “Are they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are.” She moved closer, eager for an excuse to touch him. Her hand trailed down his cheek as she looked into his eyes, captivated by the intensity of his yearning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His expression, filled with wanting but cautious, like he was asking for permission. Her eye was drawn to those soft, plump lips, it had been too long since she’d kissed them. And now nothing was holding them back other than their own nervousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her gaze shifted away, taking notice of the smattering of freckles which seemed to have multiplied since he arrived in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back into his eyes, she smirked. “One of these days, I’m going to count your freckles, but it is not this day.” She closed the gap between them, drawing his body against hers and kissed him. Slowly at first, savouring the moment before her tongue met his, shifting the tone. Not a delicate, romantic kiss but the kiss of someone desperately missed. Someone she needed horribly. The sweet taste she craved. Jess didn’t just want him, she needed him, to remind her that what they had mattered, for him to know how much she missed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby angled closer and Jess reciprocated, eager to deepen the kiss, wanting more. Grabbing his locs, pulling them gently as his tongue licked her bottom lip, roughly sucking.  She wrapped her leg around his, not satiated, one kiss leading to more. She could feel him breaking into a smile as they pulled away, lightening her heart as she did the same. Her body melted, completely at ease, knowing she was right where she should be. He planted a gentle kiss on her nose before shifting away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like this, you and me all coupled up, Jess. Does anyone call you Jessica or has it always been Jess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My parents were the only ones who ever called me Jessica. At least after I was ten. What about you, Robert?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby burst out laughing. “Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s just Bobby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, your parents named you Bobby. Just Bobby. It’s not short for anything?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, just Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So on your birth certificate, it says Bobby Mckenzie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby Khenan McKenzie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting.” She paused, taking the news in. “You’re going to be a sixty-year-old man still going by Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never thought about it before, but yes, I suppose so… Jessica.” He raised a questioning brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sounded weird, that name coming off his lips. Had he really never called her that before? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess thought for a moment, how was she this invested in a person she barely knew? It was absurd how this place tricked them into thinking they knew each other better. That they had been here months instead of weeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What wild things would they learn after leaving the villa if they didn’t even know the basics?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for his hand, taking it and entwining their fingers before shifting her eye back to him. “I have questions for you that you have to answer now. I feel like I don’t know that much about you, stat-wise. What’s your birthday? What kind of music do you listen to? Are you religious? What’s your fuck style? So many important things”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby let out a chuckle. “Ok, let’s take that one at a time. Eight of June in the year of 1995.  Almost everything. Not really. And I’d rather show you.” He moved closer and she pushed him away with a chuckle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“June, That’s Gemini right? Huh, I thought you would be a Libra?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you believe in that sort of thing. How very Lottie of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I know a little bit, a friend of mine was obsessed in high school. I don’t take it seriously. I think people can project themselves onto any sign.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what are you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a Sagittarius. 27, though I feel like I’ve regressed a bit since coming here. Like I’ve transformed into a twenty-year-old.” She chuckled to herself. “Does it bother you that I’m older than you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, “No, why would it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I could see some guys having a problem with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some guys are dumb.” Bobby smiled as a thought seemed to appear in his head. “Women tend to outlive their husbands, maybe it just means we’ll go at the same time. If not, I’ll promise to haunt you.” He waved his hands creepily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ghosts? Really Bobby?” Jess cocked her head to the side, trying to decide if he was joking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because you haven’t seen a ghost, doesn't mean they don’t exist.” He tapped the side of his nose, giving a knowing mischievous look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how many ghosts have you seen?” she challenged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few. You’ve seen a few ghosts.” She raised her brows sceptically. “Liar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, a smirk settled on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled over, running her hand up his forearm. “We haven’t really talked about you, exes, that sort of thing. How’s the status of your heart? Bruised? Battered? Never touched?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, you’ve done a number on it.” His brow furrowed as he shifted uncomfortably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, I’ve only hurt your ego” She pushed at him, trying to deflect the reminder of how she had hurt him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not exactly true, but yeah, we can go with that.” His lips shifted into a smile but one that couldn’t fully hide the pained expression on his face. “But uh anyway…. I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to romance, I didn’t have my first kiss since seventeen, and I was so drunk I don’t remember it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So tragic. I would hate to be the girl you couldn’t remember kissing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, right? She had liked me since we were teens, and I obviously had no idea because well….” He gestured to himself mockingly as if it should be obvious to her. “She was pretty hurt that I didn’t remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess frowned. “You know how beautiful you are right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He averted his eyes and blushed, “Sometimes, but it’s always nice to hear. I’m just happy we’ve figured stuff out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked down, kneading her hands together, trying to summon the courage, to be honest. “I feel like you don’t trust me. Us. I want you to be able to trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m sorry I lied yesterday, it spilled out of me without even thinking about it. I hadn’t planned to. I guess I’m just a little insecure. I hate that it’s the case but just might need a little smidge of reassurance from time to time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I can manage that. I fancy you a ton Bobby and I’m happy we’re together.” She kissed him gently on his neck, taking his scent. Sometimes, she could swear he smelled like cookies. “Reassuring enough?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you say your love language is words of affirmation?” She asked, laying back on the daybed and reaching for his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love language?”  Bobby shifted closer, settling in next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a thing. It’s how you like to receive support from a partner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, Lottie.” He rolled his eyes with a playful smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t a supernatural thing. It’s completely different.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your love language?” He asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like touch.” She leaned closer, nestling in against him and running her hand down his shoulder, drawing circles on his chest. “I can’t wait to get out of here and do coupley things. I know we haven’t really talked about that sort of thing… but I mean. I’d like us to be heading that direction…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know exactly what you mean. I care so much about you, it scares me a bit how much. and we literally just coupled up last night, but I can’t wait to do super boring things with you. Like go grocery shopping or buy a mattress,” he said, stroking her hair as he gazed into her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Their limbs entwined as Jess straddled him, feeling him hard beneath her. God, she had missed him. This felt right. Just kissing him and enjoying the anticipation knowing where this was heading.  Enjoying the calm together, everything felt right, like it would last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ran her hand over his fingers, taking in how perfect they were, remembering how good they felt inside her. That was until the moment was ruined. Gary’s boisterous voice echoed through the villa, breaking the moment between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I might need to cool down a bit,” Bobby said, breathing heavily as he began to shift away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed and instead moved closer, kissing him again and pulling the covers over them both.  “I’m not done with you yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a leisurely morning hiding under the covers, cuddling, chatting about little life details, and some mild bits, they reluctantly pulled themselves off the daybed to join the others in the kitchen. Noah was cooking scrambled eggs for the group while Talia made coffee.  Jen scowled through the morning, every once in a while Jess caught her glaring their direction. She couldn’t exactly blame Jen, but Bobby was the one culpable. He was responsible for their relationship falling apart the way it did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie’s face was frozen in a sullen and bitter glare kept directed at Gary. She had coupled up with him again, but was now acting like a petulant child instead of the twenty-four-year-old woman she was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I don’t hear any snakes in the grass,” she answered when Gary asked her to pass the salt. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did she choose him if she was going to treat him this way? </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Things were still tense with Priya, Chelsea, and Cherry. The uncomfortable energy had somehow only gotten stronger since the recoupling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for Bobby’s hand drawing it to her lips. Offering him a sweet smile, he leaned against her. Everything else may be a disaster, but at least they had each other.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Dunk or save? The question of the day as the group gathered, lined up opposite the huge tanks of water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A trust challenge featuring a group of people who didn’t quite trust each other right now. On the top of each tank was a platform and a panel with buttons, one labelled 'dunk' and other 'save'. Islanders were matched up and each had to choose whether to dunk or save their opponent not knowing what the other chose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked to be practically salivating at the thought of revenge. She dunked Gary. And Cherry.  Jen dunked Bobby. Noah and Lottie dunked each other. Matchups selected for maximum drama. It was an outlet for people to act out their aggression in a reasonably healthy way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah and Priya saved each other. As did Jess and Priya. Jake and Rohan happily dunked each other. Priya and Chelsea dunked each other, both erupting in laughter after. Somehow a mutual dunking was the catalyst to reinvigorate their friendship. Cold and wet, they embraced each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seated at the top of the tanks, Jess and Bobby smirked at each other, but each chose to save, much to Bobby’s disappointment when he revealed how fun getting dunked was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was unsurprising that the last matchup of the day would be Jess and Jen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at Jen, the blonde glared before offering a disingenuous smile and selecting a button. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the top, she caught Bobby’s eye. He watched her, a concerned look on his face. She took a deep breath, winked at him and hit the dunk button. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not the villain and I refuse to be punished like one.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three, two, one,”  Talia counted down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that moment, she braced for a fall that didn’t come as Jen crashed into the icy cold water of her tank. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, now I really look like a petty bitch. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess smiled to herself. Jen really knew what she was doing there. Points for being savvy. The viewers at home have to love this girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took the steps down, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation and was met by Jen’s angry drowned badger face. “I’m sorry I dunked you,” Jess said, unable to prevent the sputtering of laughter that emerged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure you are.” She snapped before turning to the others shivering dramatically. “Seb, a towel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seb quickly shuffled over and wrapped a towel around his wet and cold partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow Jess managed to survive the competition without being dunked. Thanks to Priya, Bobby, and Jen. The competition ended with Cherry being announced as the winner for choosing not to dunk anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still can’t believe you dunked me,” Rohan moaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You dunked me,” Jake retorted, grinning like the cheshire cat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but you didn't know that's what I was going to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guessed right,” Jake said gleefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you have this little faith in me.” Rohan shook his head playfully, some water falling from his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, just couple up already,” Chelsea yelled out with a huge smile plastered on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a bad idea actually.” Rohan shrugged as Jake blushed beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you really manage to not get even a little wet?” Bobby asked, sidling up next to her as they began to walk away from the challenge area. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so dry right now, practically a desert over here..” She teased, leaning towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably do something about that.” He winked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah.” Jess stopped and bit her lip in an attempt at seduction. “Like what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like this.” He lifted her into his arms, quickly moving towards the pool and jumping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess held on tight, letting laughter take hold as they hit the water, creating a loud splash. Wet and joyous, she kissed him, not able to stop smiling. Overwhelmed with how lucky she was to find someone who made her feel so happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the puzzle pieces had somehow fallen into place and everything made sense to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it felt like it could last.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After an afternoon of swimming with Bobby and taking an occasional break for a snog, Jess dried off and headed inside, stumbling into something unexpected in the bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you guys doing here?” She smiled, leaning against the wall, exchanging a downward look with Jake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake was upside down, close to the wall, attempting to walk on his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, oh no….” Jake stumbled and Rohan reached to steady him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, can you give us a hand?” Rohan asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grabbed Jake by the feet and helped him back to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Training going well?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a process.” Jake shook his head doubtfully. “I think my headstand progress is going better than my rap game.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be great at both, it takes work,” Rohan said encouragingly, placing a hand on Jake’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least I’m not as bad as Gary. He tried out for the rap crew earlier and tanked it hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooof, Jess be happy you missed that.” Rohan nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess flopped down on the closest bed. “I don’t know, watching Gary make a fool of himself sounds like a nice time. But what I really want is Jake. Drop a line for me J-Town.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhhhh. Ok, I got this… give me a topic.” He nodded, psyching himself up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll give you an easy one. Summer.” She crossed her arms, raising a brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake paused thoughtfully for a moment before beginning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surftime and beach time, everyone's having a blast. I like to have a campfire roasting some marshmallows and chilling down by the...fire....” He trailed off. “I may need to practice more."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess clapped. “Better you than me, I don’t think rapping is going to be my game.” Jess put her hand to her open mouth, as a terrifying thought entered her mind.  “Does Bobby know about this thing? The rap group.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet at least,” Rohan answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s try to keep it that way. The last thing this place needs is another Tim. Or at least the last thing I want…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No promises.” Jake shrugged. “Nothing stays secret here for long.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true, I suppose. How are you both doing in your couples? Any sparks flying?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan answered first, a forlorn expression on his face. “With me and Talia? She’s great, but we’ve got more of a friend vibe. At least that’s what she told me. To be honest, I’m a little frustrated, I was excited when I came here, and then everything with Chelsea and now Talia. I tried chirpsing at Cherry and that didn’t go anywhere. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’ stomach fell at her friend’s words and she quickly moved off the bed, her full attention turning to Rohan. “I’m sorry, you haven’t been doing anything wrong. I’m sure you haven’t met the right person yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” He looked wistfully at the door. “I’m going to, talk to you later.” With a wave, he exited the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Jake exchanged a concerned look. “I feel awful, I shouldn’t have asked.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault, I think he’s having a rough go at things. I relate, I’m feeling the same way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about Priya. How are you feeling about all that? And Cherry?” She reached for his hand, squeezing it tenderly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is what it is. I need to move on, I know that. It’s hard to do when I see her every day. Maybe I’ll be voted off soon. That might be nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even joke about that. I would miss you too much,” Jess said sternly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, beginning to pace the room. “Cherry’s nice, I think she made some mistakes but is pretty decent underneath it. And she’s beautiful. Very beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that mean what I think it does?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake looked to his feet. “I do like her, and I could see something happening there and I’m trying it out. I’m going to try it out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess squealed, bouncing with excitement. “Jake, good for you. I hope at the very least you have some fun. Not dirty fun. Although that’s always nice. But fun, fun. You’re amazing and I want the best for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jess, and same. Things seem to be working out for you on that front.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’ face calmed, her excitement still palpable, but settling into something more thoughtful. “I’m happy. Despite everything that’s happened. I always wanted to be happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As nice as you expected?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somehow even more.” She smiled thinking of Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you then,” Jake said, pulling her in for a warm hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake was pure. His hugs felt like magic, making her feel safe and good- like his touch instilled the recipient with a splash of his own virtues.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I appreciated it. I want that for you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake was the best, maybe not the guy for Priya but the ideal partner for someone. She could only hope that he would find that person. Maybe even here? There was still time for someone perfect to walk in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it’s even Cherry? Stranger things have happened.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dinner was awkward. A weird energy had taken hold. Little irritations began bubbling to the surface, snippy comments led to more aggressive accusations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood in the kitchen head in her hands, listening to it, frustrated by the severity of these dumb arguments. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s like no one wants to talk about what they’re really upset about so they’re arguing about stupid things instead. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s Tim that’s fingering the fruit. Look at that guy. Total fruit fingering hands.” Lottie pointed at Tim accusingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim waved his hands angrily. “At least I’m not the one leaving dirty teacups all over the villa. I stepped on one in the bathroom the other day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, who’s drinking tea in the bathroom?” Priya asked incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess leaned against Bobby, “Terrace?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked conflicted like he felt an obligation to step in and mediate before nodding. As stealthily as possible they slipped away, fleeing the islanders in the kitchen arguing over the many minor issues created through group living.  On the terrace, they stood watching each other. Jess ignored the chill of the night air, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around herself as goosebumps appeared on her arms. It was a cold, but lovely night, the sky filled with bright stars. It was beautiful like they just existed for mood lighting. Created just for Jess and Bobby in this moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shuffled nervously, silent but looking like he had a lot to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cat got your tongue?” She asked, wondering if she would need to take the lead on this. Bobby seemed more nervous than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If by tongue you mean heart and by cat you mean you, then yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So smooth, babe. I’m impressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hope I can keep you that way.” He shifted awkwardly before his expression turned seductive like he just remembered the real reason they were there. “You have me all alone up here, what do you want to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She considered savouring the anticipation, letting the sexual tension linger, but her willpower had been sapped by the time apart. It wasn’t too long ago that this moment felt unlikely, a fantasy destroyed by her mistakes. But now, she could kiss him. Do everything she wanted with him. Fuck, she wanted him badly. Why pretend she didn’t? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pushing him against the wall, she kissed him, running her hand through his locs  Her tongue met his, and the taste of him didn't begin to satiate her, she just wanted more. She reached lower, letting her hand linger near his belt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled away from her lips, his eyes burning with desire as he looked her down. “No offence, I like your style, but I think your clothes will look even better on the floor.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a step back, shutting the terrace door. Slipping her dress to the tile, she stood naked, wearing nothing but satin pants. The air was cold, but it was worth it to see Bobby’s lustful face drop in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” He looked flustered like he hadn’t expected her to so eagerly undress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you like to do to me?” She widened her eyes, teasing him with a vapid expression before moving closer and pushing him back against the wall. Grasping desperately at him, feeling his hard cock against her, her desire increased. Fumbling with his buttons, she eventually removed his shirt and began to do the same to his shorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door burst open, “Guys, we need you to settle-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over to see Gary at the door, quickly covering herself as much as possible.  “I hate that this door doesn't lock,” she grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Gary said in a raised voice before regaining his composure.  “Deja vu, right. But reversed.” A booming laugh erupted from his belly. “I’ll leave you to it, but I expect someone else will just follow after looking for you.” He winked and left shutting the door softly behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to run away from the villa and just ravage you.” Jess stomped, frustrated by the unwelcome interruption. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed her chin, cheek, and nose, and forehead. Quick gentle pecks, doing nothing to quell her hunger for him. “I know exactly what you mean.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should get dressed and join the fray, I suppose.” Jess sighed in annoyance that they had been so quickly interrupted. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We couldn’t get ten minutes to ourselves, really?  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do we have to?” He whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moved closer, kissing him feverishly before turning away. “Don’t you like the antici…” She paused. Longer than she should have. Letting it the silence linger. “Pation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll try to be worth the wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly she slipped her dress back. She pretended not to but could feel him watching her dress as he buttoned his shirt.  She hid a smile, enjoying his affectionate watchful eye. Dressed but still horny, they left to rejoin the group. She smacked him on the bum as they moved down the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, I’ve been working on some raps for my audition, mind if I run them by you, lass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not, babe.” Jess smiled warmly at him, hopeful for baking buns, but preparing to cringe at his rhymes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no true urgency, they could take their time and there was something freeing about that. Regardless of whatever drama happened in the villa, she felt protected, safe in her couple. With Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything else was cupcakes.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. I wonder if he thinks he’s the hero or the villain?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Bzzz.</b>
  <span>  Jess awoke early to the familiar, obnoxious sound of her phone. Groggily reaching over to the nightstand, she pulled it towards her, tired but alert enough to feel the dread creeping up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An early morning text would likely not be good news. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Girls today you will enjoy sun swimming and sangria on your very own day out! Please get ready to leave the villa. #ladieswhobrunch #noboysallowed. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at Bobby sleeping soundly next to her, arms splayed out towards her. She smiled.  He had warned but hadn’t oversold how much room he liked to take up in bed. It was fun and enlightening, experiencing these other sides of him. The only thing that would make it better is privacy. It was a challenge enjoying these quiet intimate moments with so many other people in the room. Finding romance across a backsplash of snores and hidden bits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, she had hoped for a leisurely morning staying in, but that experience had been stolen once again. She noticed the other girls waking and running quietly for the dressing room. Once the room was lady free, she poked Bobby’s shoulder with her finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby.” She spoke barely above a whisper close to his ear.  “Bobby,” she said, raising her voice lightly, not wanting to wake up the other guys. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes, smiling when he saw her. “What a nice face to wake up to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If only I could stay.” She sighed, running her hand up his thigh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If only we were alone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t?” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the shoulder. “Please stay, please.” He feigned begging, making her laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled herself away, sitting up in bed. “We’re going on a girls' trip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His expression shifted in concern, and she quickly clarified. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just for the day, it’s a girl’s day trip. I’m hoping it will be more fun than stressful. Who knows with this lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll miss you,” he said drawing her face towards her with his finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll miss you too.” She bit her lip. Was there a big hurry? There had to be a couple of minutes to spare. She fell against him, lips meeting his in desperate fury.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would it be like when they left? Not having to savour these tiny moments, urgently groping because they knew an unwelcome interruption could occur at any time. Would their snogging be slow and romantic? Boring? She somehow didn’t think so.  Feeling him hard against her, teasing against the edges of her pants, the ache was unbearable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess” She heard Lottie's hushed voice yell across the room, causing a couple of sleeping bodies to shift in their beds.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, I just want to… well fuck. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got to go,” she said, reluctantly pulling herself off the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have fun with the girls.”  He winked before kissing her one last time on the nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have fun with the boys.” She kissed his nose in return before shifting away, running to join the rest of the girls in preparations for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a ten-minute jeep ride, the girls arrived at their destination. A cabana by the sea. Finally, a beach. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We’ve been on this island for a month now and this is the first time I’ve seen the water. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The smell of the fresh sea air, the sound of the waves. Being at the villa all day, every day. It was nice to experience anything different. But this, it was exactly what was needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls gravitated towards the cabana bar. Flowers and little candles floated in decorated bowls and a gorgeous spread of fresh fruit sat on the bar. At the end, fruit slices sparkled inside a few glass pitchers of garnet coloured sangria. It was cheesy but lovely, perfect for a day of leisurely lady bonding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea whooped as Priya passed out the wide-rimmed glasses. They filled them with the sweet, fruity drink as Chelsea insisted on a toast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girls on Tour!” Chelsea called out as they clinked their glasses together cheerfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe today will be fun, we could all use some fun. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a sip. Sweet. Too sweet. Sickeningly sweet. But nice. This felt nice.  She looked at the rest of the girls. Each with their own stories that led them here, she was grateful for them all. Even Cherry and Jen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were all part of this weird adventure, all trying to do their best to survive the chaos and find love. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wanted to bridge the divide between her and Jen. Beyond the Bobby issue, they may have been friends under slightly different circumstances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she had learned anything from Love Island it was not to discount someone or give up on people too quickly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just look at me and Lottie. I never saw us becoming friends. Friendship can take time to develop and judging someone prematurely hampers that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should make more of an effort with both Cherry and Jen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea was chattering away about sangria fruits while Jess looked over at Cherry, smiling and nodding along. She had an almost feral look in her eye. Desperate for everyone to like her? If so, it was a feeling Jess could relate to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen jumped in, diving into the deep end of assigning fruit to each girl in the villa. The glamour girl blogger seemed as interested in categorizing the group as Chelsea- the blondes feeding off each other's excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m an orange. But like a little one. Zesty and cute.  Jess is something basic like a strawberry.” Jen shot a condescending smile towards Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess frowned at the dig. </span>
  <em>
    <span> Really? I’m basic? What does that make you?  Generic rip off of basic? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen continued after getting the reaction she wanted. “Priya has to be a plum, right? Something super sultry.” Jen looked to Chelsea for approval.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are Priya and Talia?” Chelsea looked around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They bolted ten minutes into your inane sangria spiel,” Lottie smirked. “I almost wish they would have invited me along.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those dirty-do-ers.” Chelsea shrugged. “That’s just classic them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Huh?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priya and Talia?” Jess asked, wondering if she was misunderstanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jess. Come on, it’s obvious. I can’t believe you hadn’t noticed,” Lottie said sceptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Should I have known? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long has that been a thing for?” Jess looked around as if searching for the sight of Talia and Priya snogging to confirm things. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did Jake know?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea began to answer as Lottie shook her head in disapproval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catching Lottie’s hard look, Jess answered before Chelsea had a chance. “Sorry, we shouldn’t gossip...uh. Cherry, what shows have you been in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry smiled the smile of a seasoned performer. “I just finished up a run of Chicago.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing,” Jen said, her blue eyes sparkling excitedly. “What part did you play?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I was just in the chorus, but it’s all steps in the right direction. Getting to watch Alexandra Burke perform every night? Like it was a life-changing experience.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry lit up as she talked about her job demonstrating some of the moves. Lottie wore a disapproving scowl and Jess kept catching a glare shooting her direction, presumably blaming her for introducing the topic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks easier than it is, but that’s part of-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is fascinating at all, but I’m going to go check out the beach.” Lottie rolled her eyes and quickly shuffled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, that girl is the worst,” Jen said the moment Lottie was out of earshot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, she’s not,” Chelsea defended. “She’s like a super stale marshmallow. Oooey gooey underneath it all. Or an onion. You gotta just get under that layer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen chortled dismissively. “That’s a lot of work for someone to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>blessed </span>
  </em>
  <span>with her friendship. Why is making an effort beneath her? She thinks she’s so edgy and better than everyone. I get her not liking Cherry. But me? I’ve been nothing but nice to her and like, she’s been super cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. Lottie’s like Frosty the Snowman. Frozen, harsh, but once you warm her up she turns into a pile of warm water. No. That's not good. I’m going to keep thinking.” Chelsea bit her lip, looking pensive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry shook her head. “I know I messed things up but I want Lottie to like me. I want everyone to like me. But they never do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you, babe,” Chelsea said with a smile, pulled out of her Lottie analogy haze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess ran her hands through her hair, frustrated at the topic of conversation. “Lottie may need some time, things hav-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I step away for a minute and you all can’t stop yourselves from talking shit about me.” Lottie stood arms crossed in front of them, wearing the same annoyed scowl that had become a permanent fixture on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, want to go for a swim and chat?” Jess asked, wanting to diffuse things before Lottie exploded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I want to know what’s going on here.” Lottie raised her voice, looking angrily towards Cherry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t you just be nice?” Jen stepped forward, drawing Lottie’s eye. “How hard is it? You’ve got this obnoxious queen of darkness thing, where you think it’s cool to just be a bitch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m an acquired taste, if you don’t like me, acquire some taste.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you even realize how horrible you are? You really don’t think you’re the problem here? You’re mean and like, unpleasant. I don’t know how anyone here puts up with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re like fake and like vapid...like..” Lottie bitterly snarked back, letting every ‘like’ hit like a hammer.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should all take some time and cool off before-” Jess suggested before being promptly interrupted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, give you time to steal another boyfriend?” Jen suggested with an eye roll</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess narrowed her eyes.  “You know that’s not what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just burning through all the guys in the villa, Noah, Levi, that other guy, probably even slept with Jake. And the second Bobby moved on, you decided you wanted him back. Dug your claws in and kept him from being happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, trying her best to channel her inner zen. “Jen, I’m not doing this with you. I get that you’re mad at Bobby. And you have every right to be. But none of it is my fault. And you don’t know anything about my relationship with Bobby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I watched the show before coming here, right? I watched him pine away for you while you flirted with him and Noah and Levi. I don’t understand why he even likes you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took another deep breath, rubbing her temples. “You don't need to understand it, but you need to respect it and move on. I don’t want to fight with you on this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s easy for you to say, you won.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess tensed up at the accusation. “It’s not a game.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girl, it’s literally a game.” Chelsea stepped in with a laugh. “With real prizes and stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed, grateful to Chelsea for the interruption. “I suppose you’re right. I’m going to enjoy my wine with a nice dip in the pool then.” Jess reached for her glass of sangria and left the bar. Setting her glass on the tile near the edge of the pool, she jumped in, ignoring the raised voices she had left behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This place feels toxic sometimes- the women pitted against each other,  falling into the trap of seeing the others as competition instead of friends. If we all found love, we could all be winners in the way that really matters. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that too cheesy? Probably.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have been more welcoming to Jen when she arrived. I’m just as culpable as the others. She’s right, I’m only making an effort now that I’ve won, now that she’s no longer my competition giving me a nice false sense of superiority.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The pool was small, not meant for swimming laps, but Jess made the best of it, swimming from one side to the other, losing herself in the motions. Once she stopped, she would have to deal with the other girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just keep on swimming, like that idiotic fish movie. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a light lunch, the girls were met with more sangria. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are they trying to get us all drunk and catty? That would make the show more fun…. They’re usually more strict with the booze. Maybe without the boys around, there are fewer legal concerns. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Next to the sangria, large bags were piled on the counter. Most of the girls ran to open them. Jess frowned, before opening her bag. Scented lotion, an eye mask, and a pampering manicure kit. All the bullshit things girls like her are expected to love. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh I think it’s mani-pedi o’clock girl,”  Chelsea squealed as the girls eagerly dug into the bags. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had been more of a ‘roll around in the dirt’ type than someone to ‘play with mom’s dresses.’ She had always been lucky, able to find female friends as unorthodox and nerdy and their interests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her college friends that she’d lost touch with would be shocked to see her on this show. If they remembered her, that time in her life felt so far away. None of those friendships had lasted, just evaporated over time, leaving her to wonder if they were ever really friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All she had left were memories and photos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would that be her and the Love Island group in ten years? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls gathered around the beach bar’s beautiful outdoor pool. The mid-afternoon sun was hot and bright but a sombre mood took hold as the girls took sips and glared at each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is supposed to be fun</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jess wanted to yell. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Let’s move past our bullshit and get to the point</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She looked at the girls, catching Jen shooting daggers her way. No one, not even bubbly Chelsea or cool Talia seemed relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This weird, negative energy was draining them. Someone needed to do something…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea began painting her toenails bright pink, a frazzled tense look on her face while Lottie sulked into her sangria.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe I should say something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Priya stood. “Ladies, this is dumb. We all know it. We’re all too wonderful badass of ladies to be acting like this. Fighting over those idiotic boys. We’re better than this. Look at this place. It’s beautiful and we’re wasting this time fighting about dumb shit when we could be having fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea began to clap. Slowly. “That was beautiful, Priya.” She stood and threw herself into Priya’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya had taken the words right out of Jess’ mouth, she wanted to stand and give her a huge hug as well. But there was something more useful she could do. Studying Jen, the blonde’s brow was furrowed and she seemed deep in thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess tried to think it through, the best way to make things right with Jen, formulating her thoughts briefly before speaking. She tried to initiate eye contact, but Jen kept her eyes fixed on her lap, picking at her fingernails anxiously. “Jen, I’m sorry about how I handled things when Bobby switched to you. I didn’t mean to be rude to you, Bobby switching. Bringing you back. Hurt me a lot. It was hard watching you together, I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer to you, it wasn’t anything personal.” Jess tried to fight the tears, but they refused to yield, letting everyone see how weak and vulnerable she was. It was embarrassing letting people see her like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pull it together. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She took a deep breath, stifling her feelings as much as possible, returning to a normal state. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back at Jen, she was watching her with curiosity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. I’m sorry too. I… liked him. I knew he wasn’t that into me. I guess I wasn't that surprised. But it hurt my feelings-how it happened. Like I never mattered.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure that isn’t true,” Jess said, not sure if she was lying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels that way, like he used me to make you jealous and when it worked, discarded me.” Jen turned away, hiding her blue eyes from the prying eyes of the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should really talk to him, I’m sure that’s not the case. Bobby’s dumb and didn’t handle things well, but he’s good at heart. I know he didn’t mean to be such a pratt.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try. And I suppose I should give him a chance to explain himself instead of just yelling at him.” Jen looked back to Jess, a tiny smile forming on her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they could be friends. How weird would that be? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry abruptly stood, drawing the group’s attention to her. “I liked Gary, I did. I know I shouldn’t have kissed him but he looked really cute and it was like. Why not go for it. Like my nan always says, time machines haven’t been invented yet, so you have to take chances when you get them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was an awkward silence. All Jess heard was the soft sound of waves against the shore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that an apology?” Lottie asked incredulously, a brow raised in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I am. I wish I hadn’t done it. I feel like a dummy. Blowing everything up over a guy who doesn’t even like me. It was selfish and I’m sorry.” Her chin trembled making her look like a delicate and vulnerable, a fragile flower that needed to be protected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just start over. All of us. Priya’s right, we are better than this. Let’s be better, I’ll try to be nicer and less judgemental. But no promises.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To making an effort to be better.” Talia raised a glass toasting a cheerful Priya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoooo. To being better. Group hug?” Chelsea bounced up and down at the questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Group hug.” Jess nodded, pulling Chelsea into her arms. Chelsea waved the other girls over and they joined in, some more reluctant than others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last one in the water is a rotten egg,” Priya suddenly yelled, pulling away from the hug and racing towards the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Running into the ocean, Jess felt a rush of exhilaration, holding Chelsea’s hand and leaping into the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than anything she felt hope that these friendships would last, that 20 years from now she and Chelsea may dive into another ocean still deep in friend love.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe? Anything was possible. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lay on the beach, basking in the feel of the sun on her skin, close enough to the shore that waves would hit her legs, making her cool and content. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea was building a sandcastle, poorly, as Talia and Priya giggled and offered advice. It was adorable how hard she tried, only for her creation to fall apart within moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie let the waves carry her to shore, rushing back to the beach. The angry goth smiled widely, very much looking in her element in the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was this what she was like in Australia?  Happy, relaxed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry and Jen sunbathed, chatting about life, each breaking out into laughter occasionally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice, coexisting and enjoying a beautiful day together.  She piled sand on her feet, rubbing it against her, waiting for the water to wash it away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sounds of laughter against the wind and waves of the water. There was something soothing, magical about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the sort of experience she wanted to share with Bobby. But without the pomp and circumstance of living in the villa.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>The peace of laying on the beach. Just us, no cameras, no roommates. Every day here is getting harder. I committed to the show, but staying is becoming harder every day.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe this will be the last time the girls will fight, this could be a turning point. The peace could last. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her realistic side told her was unlikely, that this was probably not the last spat they’d have. For everyone wanting to be better, Jess knew better than anyone that it’s easier said than done. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just want to grab Bobby’s hand and make a run for it.  I want to be able to kiss him without interruption. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Meet with friends at a pub and go home together. Not sleep in a room with ten other people. If we got dumped tonight, would he want to stay together? Was it too soon?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head told her it was. They would go their separate ways, they didn’t really know each other. But her gut told her they would be fine, and she knew enough to know which mattered more. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the late afternoon, the jeeps returned the girls to the villa. Back to their beautiful, posh prison. After the beach, the villa didn’t seem like a return home. It was something different. She was eager to see Bobby and pushed the odd feeling away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess jumped out of the jeep, reaching for Priya’s hand to help her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, thank you.” Priya cooed affectionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess began to walk the lawn, seeking out Bobby. The day had been fun, but exhausting and all she wanted was a hug from her adorable baker boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her breath stalled when she did see him, nodding along to something Jen was saying. The other jeep must have made it back first. He smiled, she smiled back. They hugged. Pulled away and continued chatting, like they were friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He chose you, there’s no reason to be jealous of them hugging and laughing. Why does it bother me so much? First Priya now Jen? I’ve never felt this nagging intense feeling before. I hate it, it’s toxic and awful and I don’t want to feel like this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You told her to talk to him, you can’t exactly be upset that she followed through and is mending bridges. It’s what you wanted, right? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything is so heightened here, the drama, the relationships. It’s overwhelming.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess I’ll wait for my hug.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I thought you might have picked something a smidge fancier than pasta. Show off a bit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised a brow. “Babe, we’re making dinner for how many people? They’re lucky I’m putting any effort in. Especially with you looking like that.” He looked her down with a wide grin before returning to his task.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She twirled, highlighting the sleeveless black dress that she had chosen, enjoying the way Bobby’s eyes were fixed on her bum. Feeling insecure after seeing Bobby and Jen together, she chose something for dinner that made her feel more confident. Sexy, even. It was a perfect outfit until it was revealed that she and Bobby had been chosen to cook dinner for the group. Now it was too short, awkward to manoeuvre in leaving Bobby to take on the bulk of the prep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But at least she looked good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides, puttanesca looks fancy and is easy enough to leave plenty of time for snogging.” He offered a cheesy wink. “I like this, you and me cooking together. I could get used to it, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They exchanged a long look, his words left lingering in the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Do you think?” She paused, averting her eyes. Was it too soon to talk about it?  Life after the villa. Where they were heading. “Never mind.” Her lips shifted into a tight smile and she returned focused on chopping garlic.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait till we’re home.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded keeping her eyes fixed to the chopping block and the quick movements of slicing through the garlic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you done?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me yeah.” She moved towards him, he gestured to the sizzling pan and she dropped the garlic in. “What’s next?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anchovies.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’ face scrunched in disgust. “Gross.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re wrong, just wait.” He winked before returning to the stovetop, stirring the garlic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, wrapping her arms around him from behind, taking in the savoury garlic fragrance while laying her head against his back. “Mmmm. Smells gorgeous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You smell gorgeous. Even better than freshly baked cookies.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s meltier than any toastie and I love it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A  hearty laugh left her lips. “And you smell like…” She stretched upwards, leaning her nose against his neck. “Jasmine and sage. That’s... different. I mean from how you usually smell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, I wanted a change, borrowed this off Rohan.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment she released her grip and moved to the refrigerator.  “I’ll make a salad. Pasta makes me crave greens like crazy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds perfect.” He smiled affectionately at her, then turned back and emptied the contents of some prep bowls into the pan. Diced tomatoes, olives, capers, and various spices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jess prepared the salad, she smiled to herself. Despite the drama earlier, the girls had discussed their problems like adults, agreed to move forward and here she was, prepping a meal for their friends with the man she loved. It was a good day and the night was proving to be even better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They each manoeuvred the kitchen, completing their tasks while giving space to the other. It was how Jess had always hoped cooking in the kitchen with a partner would be. None of her exes had cooked. Bobby was a unique partner in many ways, but his kitchen skills stood out making her appreciated him anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.” Bobby sauntered towards her. “The sauce is simmering, the pasta is cooking  and you know what they say, a watched pot never boils, so maybe we can watch each other while it...cooks….that was supposed to sound smoother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eye held her gaze as he stood in front of her, running his hand down her arm, settling it on her hip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we just stare at each other until the pot boils over?” she asked with a smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had a sexier idea.” He pulled her towards her, one arm around her waist as he ran his other hand down her neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” she moaned against his cheek, shivering with anticipation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He murmured under his breath, “I want you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips parted moving closer and the merest brush of his lips met hers, she responded slowly deepening the kiss, taking her time, savouring the taste of him. Running her tongue across his lower lip, exploring him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She quickly became absorbed in the moment, any fears, thoughts pushed away. Just here with him.  He ran his fingers through her hair, as Jess lifted a leg against him drawing him closer, needing more.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of reciprocating, Bobby kissed her softly before breaking away.  “As much as I’d love to get into some kitchen bits, we have an important job here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Now </span>
  </em>
  <span>, you want to be responsible?” She raised a questioning brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm always responsible in the kitchen. Not so much outside…” He winked then walked back over to the stove, tasting the sauce before setting the burner to low.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was in his element in the kitchen, methodical in his movements, somehow klutzy everywhere except around a hot stove. His focused, serious face was almost as adorable as his joyous smile. Typically more goofus than gallant, seeing this side to him reminded her of all the things they had yet to experience together. Seeing the way he interacted with his cat. Watching a movie together on the couch. Taking a long walk in the woods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So many small, exciting adventures ahead of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked around, refocusing on the meal.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Salad is good. Pasta is almost done. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should have made bread,” she called out wondering if it was too late. Probably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby groaned. “You’re right, garlic bread would have been perfect. I love bread, I could eat bread all day, every day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would get fat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bread makes you fat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bread makes you fat?” Bobby answered in mock surprise before erupting into laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She joined him in laughter, not even sure why it was so funny. After putting the finishing touches on the meal, Bobby removed his navy blue ‘(melon) baller’ apron and they loaded up the cart with their prepared meal, off to present it to the hungry islanders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope they like it,” Jess said nervously, fidgeting with her hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could they not, it was made with love.” Bobby reached for her hands, kissing her knuckles, calming her completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Getting to chat during dinner would be a unique experience. It was the only part of the day in which the cameras were left off, which technically meant they could relax but usually felt like pressure to not talk about things the show would want to air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today, they were encouraged to be festive, fun. Make for exciting television content. Bobby and Jess brought the food out to a cacophony of chatter as the islanders sat at a long table set up for the evening.  The table was covered with a white cloth decorated with summer fruit and flowers. Even the chairs were covered with linen- hopefully, the group wasn’t expecting anything too fancy from the meal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies and gentleman. And Gary.” Bobby introduced the meal with panache. “My fair lady, Jessica and I hath prepared a dish of spaghetti alla puttanesca with a salad of greens to fill your bellies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pasta? Isn’t that a little basic?” Jen asked, before letting out a laugh. “Ooop. Sorry, habit. I love pasta.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess forced a smile at Jen before removing the lid from the warming pan and began serving the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks so much, you too,” Chelsea cheered from the far end of the table, standing to try to peek at the meal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This looks amazing,” Noah added when served, sounding impressed. “Thanks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I hate olives,” Cherry moaned as Jess put a helping of pasta on her plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry. They should be easy to pick out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cherry shrugged, her beautiful face turned into a pout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess served herself and Bobby last, relishing the chance to sit down and eat after a long, exhausting day. Looking over her plate, it did look nice, the capers always added a touch of elegance and the shaved parmesan and parsley added an extra splash of colour.  Bobby had made a good choice, and she had no doubts that it would taste amazing. She took a bite and was proven correct. Briny and pungent, the disparate flavours melded together making her mouth water for every new bite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Observing the others, Cherry stubbornly picked at the dinner, not eating much-even the salad. Everyone else dug in, focusing entirely on their food at first. Not at all the bombastic fun dinner party the producers had probably intended, forks and knives clinking against the plates. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope that means they like it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice job, guys. This is amazing, the best meal I’ve had in a long time.” Jake smiled earnestly, raising a glass. “To our culinary hosts of the evening…Jess and Bobby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group raised their glasses, clinking against those seated near them. Jess and Bobby joined their glasses together and she kissed him on the cheek before directing her attention back to Jake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“High praise coming from you,” Jess said, taking a sip of her wine, cold and sharp on her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” Jake answered with a wide grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you say this was?” Gary asked, his brows furrowed as he picked at his plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Puttanesca,” Bobby answered, casually resting his hand on Jess’ leg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tiny intimate gesture filled her with an absurd amount of glee. They were officially together, it was real, and somehow she was happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds a little saucy.” Priya smouldered at Noah before taking a bite. Noah’s cheeks turned red as he kept his eyes fixed on Priya’s lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It kinda is,” Noah said, recovering his composure. “It means ‘lady of the night’. It’s bogus but some people thought it got its name because prostitutes could easily cook it up between clients.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, that is a little saucy. I like it.” Chelsea nodded approvingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the silence had broken, the group relaxed again, diving back into easy conversation. Gary told a story about his Nan’s cat trying to kill her that had even Lottie in hysterics.  Bobby took to demonstrating his favourite impressions while Tim tried searching for things to rhyme with puttanesca.  Lottie read  Jake’s palm, declaring long-lasting romance was in his future and Priya shared a bad date anecdote about a mime enthusiast. Talia spilled backstage secrets from her life as a journalist, secrets so juicy the show would probably have to edit out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat listening, laughing and enjoying the presence of these weird, wonderful friends until she heard the beep of a phone near her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group quieted as Bobby pulled out his phone. “Bobby and Jess, congratulations on treating your fellow islanders to tonight's meal. As a reward, you are welcome to make full use of the hideaway tonight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woooo” Chelsea squealed so enthusiastically one would think she would be getting some action tonight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked at Bobby, who was badly trying to hide a beaming smile. She reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. Feeling lighter, almost euphoric, she wanted to join Chelsea in squealing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tonight!! </span>
  </em>
  <span>She kept her focus on Bobby, not risking a glance at a heartbroken Jen, this night should be just about them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two go, we’ll finish cleaning up,” Talia generously offered, filling Jess with immense relief.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Jess didn’t wait for anyone else to agree- she grabbed Bobby’s hand and they bolted inside. It was still so early, but the excitement was palpable. She wanted to jump for joy, finally getting to jump his bones! This villa had really turned her into a horndog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than anything she didn’t want any outside forces to ruin this moment for them. Even if things didn’t go exactly as expected tonight, it should be because of them.  Not chaos sewed by the group or idiotic miscommunication. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For one night, it would be just them. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Holding hands, Jess and Bobby opened the door to the hideaway.  Rose petals were strewn across the bed and table. Fake candles set up for mood lighting. A bottle of champagne chilling. So cheesy, it was like the room was set up for their honeymoon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So much gold and pink…. it’s like the ’70s chundered in here,” Bobby said, assessing the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t notice last time, but it’s a little tacky.” She looked over the small gaudy room, nodding in agreement.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, you and Noah came here…” Bobby trailed off distractedly,  his brows drawn together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her chest tightened as a gnawing feeling formed in her gut. “Yeah, we never. Let’s just say we didn’t do a ton,” Jess shifted, not wanting this to be awkward. Probably best to rip off the Noah talk bandaid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, I mean. I don’t know what I mean.” Bobby chuckled, fumbling over his words. “I’m glad you aren’t here with Noah this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As much as I wanted Noah to be right for me, he wasn’t.” Jess shrugged, not feeling much for Noah anymore other than guilt. It was odd how long ago that felt. Like she had been here with Noah in an entirely different lifetime.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think I am? Right for you?” He was trying to play it cool, but his eyes gave him away, unable to completely mask his vulnerability. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved towards him, placing her hands on his chest. “You’re perfect for me, I just didn’t see it at first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect? I’ve never had anyone call me that before. I feel my head growing larger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not your head, babe. And I didn’t say you were perfect. You’re sweet and funny, but also flawed as fuck. Somehow you and your weirdness is perfect for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked around the room, as if searching for something  “So quiet, it’s almost creepy. Still, it’s nice to have some privacy. You. Me. all alone. No one to interrupt. Ooooh.” He spotted champagne and uncorked it with a surprising amount of finesse before pouring a glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess flopped down on the bed, splaying out like an octopus. “We can do anything we want in here. As long as we pretend those aren’t here.” She gestured to the cameras. “Or not. Want to give them a show they'll never forget?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby blushed, fumbled his glass, spilling some on the floor. “Fuck, sorry.” He set down the glass and looked for something to clean it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess got off the bed, moving towards him. “Hey, it’s ok. Don’t worry about that.” Reaching for his hand, she pulled it close to her neck. “You nervous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would that be weird?” He smiled sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I get it. Nothing has to happen tonight. I don’t want there to be any weird pressure. We can just enjoy the night. See where things go.” Jess poured another glass of champagne and took a sip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, we’ll get there. Oooh, we forgot a toast.” Bobby held his half-filled champagne glass towards her. “To us, Bessy finally coupled up and getting it on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we really going with Bessy?” Jess’ nose crinkled incredulously at the suggestion.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any better ideas?” he challenged cheerfully with a brow raise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it’s that or Jobby, which is actually worse. Do we have to have a coupley nickname?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How else are we supposed to hashtag things?” he answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t?”  She sighed at the skeptical expression on his face, yielding to his choice. “Ok fine, we can be Bessy. But I want a better nickname than lass. I bet you say that to all the girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only the ones I like.” He winked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So me, Jen, and every ex you’ve ever had?” She playfully narrowed her eyes at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And some crushes.” Bobby’s eyes sparkled mischievously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you see my point?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, his lips relaxing into a familiar smirk.  “I do. What do you want me to call you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head emphatically. “It should come to you in the moment, feel personal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll think on it,” he chuckled. “I’ll have to be something pretty special.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretty special.” She tilted her head, lips curling into a seductive smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As am I, which is why I demand better than </span>
  <em>
    <span>babe. </span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An interesting proposition that I will carefully consider.”  She walked towards him purposefully. “Now, to completely change the subject, I think we both know where we want this to go, and I’m very much in. So what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised an eyebrow and smirked before setting his drink down next to the bed. He stood, smouldering again before glancing back at the glass, bending down to move it further away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Think we’re going to rock the bed that much, huh?” Jess giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby opened his arms wide and fell back, spread-eagle. “Things can get pret-ty wild with me babe. Limbs flailing, pillows tossed around, clothes heroically thrown out the window, never to be needed again. Safety first! Wouldn’t want to make a mess. Again.” Bobby paused, letting out a long sigh while staring at the ceiling, his eyes trying to avoid the cameras in the room. “Oh, and to answer your question-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood, eyes narrowing. His cheerful, boyish smile turned serious as he glided to Jess. His arm wrapped around her, hand firmly on her hip. He pulled her close while his other hand slid up her neck, over her chin and around the back of her head. He drew her in, their foreheads touching. Jess could feel his hot breath against her lips. His gaze dropped for a moment, taking in her visage before returning to her eyes, blazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you,” he whispered, the words nearly a growl, his fingers lightly tangling her hair, gently tugging. “I want you so fucking badly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So fucking badly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess swung her arms around Bobby, gripping him like her life depended on it, nails clawing into his back and neck. Before he could even whine her mouth was on his, a fury of lust. Tongues intertwining, lips pressed as one, biting, sucking, gasping for air as their desperation collided. Twenty-three days. Less than four weeks. It had felt like a lifetime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The edge of the bed. They’d moved so gradually, so distracted. Jess pulled her lips from his, grazing them down his cheek to his neck. Brown and freckled. Warm. Under his chin. She pressed in, finding the delicate skin of his jaw. Soft and radiant. He sighed, relaxing into her touch. Tensing. Rigid when her teeth met him. Softening to her kisses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He buckled under her. They’d gone beyond. Pressed into the bed and falling backwards. Slamming against the mattress. Jess pulled herself onto Bobby. Grinding, pressing herself into him, every bit of his firm body sending lighting through her torso as her legs straddled him, knees pressing into his sides as his hand held her face to his neck. His other hand snaked under her dress, finding her smooth legs, exploring her. His touch pausing, lingering. Savouring, before finally cupping her ass. Fingers clenching, pulling her in. Holding her close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nipped at his chin one last time before drawing her face from his. Bobby’s eyes sparkled. Glints of fire reflecting in his amber gaze. She looked down, finally her’s. Bobby. He looked up. Admiration, lust, love. Fear. His hand slid from the back of her head and rested on the side of her face. His warm fingers lightly holding her. Energy flowing through them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes shifted to her lips as his mouth curled into an almost imperceptible smirk. His eyes crinkled, sparkling with a mischievous joy.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Here comes the Bobby charm.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby opened his mouth to say something but Jess was too quick. She slammed down into him, pressing her tongue deep into his shocked maw. There was no resistance, but she could practically feel his urge to say something. Anything. Something to break the mood, lessen the tension. Keep things light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt the heat of Bobby’s hands on her face, urging her off, struggling for a breath amidst their furious kissing. Their lips separated with a pop. He grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been baking confections all my life but I don’t think I’ve ever had anything as sweet as you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There it is.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agh!” Jess groaned, his corny line somehow both killing the momentum and making Bobby even sexier. She pushed herself up, hovering over him - her hair cascading down to frame his face. “You always know how to say just the right thing at just the wrong time, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say, it’s a skill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your only skill.” Jess looked to his lips, reaching forward and gently drawing the tip of her finger over them. She licked her own lips, making sure Bobby could see the shine left on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true, My ma always said I was an excellent eater.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I... Okay.” Frustration started to build in her stomach. He was nervous, that was okay. But they’d waited so long and now he was talking about his mom? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved to stand, drawing her hand down Bobby’s body, intentionally guiding her fingers just to the side of the firm mound in his shorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” she said, moving her hands to the zipper at the back of her dress. “I love our banter, I really do. In fact, it’s one of the things I like best about you. But right now. Here…” She pulled the zipper down, opening her dress, letting it fall to the floor. Her breasts bare, nipples hard in the cool air. Black pants her only covering. “Here I just want you. Your hands. Your mouth. And this.” She reached forward, grabbing Bobby through the thin fabric of his shorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked stunned. His eyes bulged even as a wide smile spread across his face. A gentle moan escaped his lips as Jess gripped harder, his eyes clenched shut, his hips pressing up against her hand. “Judging by your reaction I’m going to guess you’re okay with that arrangement?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God yes,” Bobby nodded. “But expect more comparisons between you and baked goods after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a deal. Now let’s get those clothes off!” Jess grinned, climbing back on to the bed to straddle Bobby. He greedily started undoing the buttons on his shirt while Jess tugged his shorts down, not even bothering with the formality of pulling off his boxers separately. With a simultaneous fling, all his clothes were on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body practically glowed. Heat radiated from his skin. His smooth chest, taut abs, his cock stiff and resting on his stomach. He was magnetic, the urge to touch him everywhere at once was overwhelming. To kiss him. Taste him. Run her fingers over every bit of his body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chill slid down her spine, the cool air of the room becoming more apparent the longer Bobby took her in with his gaze. She leaned in, gently spreading his legs as she moved between them. Bobby’s leg shivered at her touch. A slight, ticklish shudder echoed through his body as his muscles tensed. He relaxed into her as she flattened her fingers, letting her palm envelope his skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat of his legs flowed into her hand and back again. Jess lowered her head, crouching between his knees. Her tongue met him, gliding along the inside of his thigh, a feathery-light teasing touch. Bobby gasped, catching his breath from the new sensation,  the contrast between her hot tongue and the cool air making him shiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck.” He moaned, hissing through gritted teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slid her tongue further up, drawing closer to his groin. He shifted below her, his hips shuddering as he lightly thrusted upward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patience..” she cooed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At last, her lips met his base. Heat radiated from him as she took in his musky scent. He groaned, nearly whimpering. Jess moved her hands to his torso, careful not to touch him where he wanted it most. Hard muscles flexed under her fingertips while Bobby’s length pressed against the side of her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed higher, this time starting to wrap her lips around the side of his achingly hard shaft. Smooth and salty, the urge to take all of him started to build. Jess craved the feeling of him in her mouth, his warmth sliding against her lips. Pleasing him, making him beg for the pleasure only she could give.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the anticipation was just too much fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed his base deeply, gently sucking and flicking his skin with her tongue. Goosebumps raised on his torso, Jess could feel his pulse quicken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please..” he sighed pleadingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was time to let him know she wanted it as much as he did. Her tongue pressed against him, gliding up his full length before her lips met his throbbing head. Jess tilted her head and parted her lips, taking him in while maintaining her grip on his torso. He moved under her touch involuntarily trying to get more, and she pressed her hand harder, pressing him further into the mattress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, she’d missed him. The taste of him, the feeling of taking him deeply, his twitching, pulsing, yearning for her to take more. She slid over him while lifting her head, pointing him upward with her mouth. Then she began to suck, gliding her lips over him again and again, swirling her tongue around his flesh, relishing his thrusts against her wet mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt a slight pressure on the back of her head, Bobby had moved his hands to her hair - tugging gently, encouraging her to continue. She didn’t need the encouragement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her nails clawed into Bobby’s side. He shuddered below her but continued to rock his hips. Jess moved her body higher, positioning herself over his leg. She pressed down, grinding her centre against him while fucking him with her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby whimpered at her touch, biting his lip. His body quivered. One hand dropped to the bed, clutching the mattress while the other frantically held her hair. Jess drew her mouth up on him, holding only his head between her lips. She circled her tongue around him, lightly teasing, watching his breath get caught in his throat as he propped himself on his elbow staring down at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess felt Bobby’s hand grip tighter on her hair, gently tugging her mouth off him. She looked up, catching his darkened eyes. Blissful, but a look of need. He twitched below her chin, glistening from her mouth, begging for release. Only a few quick strokes and she could get him there. But not yet. “Hey,” he gasped, catching his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm?” Jess murmured, lowering her mouth and gently swirling her tongue around the tip of his throbbing cock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His gaze moved from her face down her body and between her legs. “I want to taste you.” His pleading words hung in the air, his eyes desperate. Jess could see his hands clenching in anticipation, his muscles rippling - holding himself back from bolting up and just taking her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess locked eyes with him before tilting her head to run her tongue along his full length. He convulsed under her, so close to climax. Holding back, still wanting more. “I suppose,” she purred, “if that’s what you really want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before she knew what happened, Jess was on her back. He’d wasted no time after getting her approval. The lingering heat of Bobby’s hands still pulsed from where he’d grabbed and flipped her onto the bed, the taste of him still lingered on her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His slender fingers were already toying with her pants, his breath hot against the damp fabric. Jess squirmed below him as the anticipation of his touch built. The electric feeling in her legs flowed through her thighs and to her centre. She ached for him to touch her. To soothe her. To feel his warm tongue against her most sensitive spots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling of cool air returned as Bobby slid off her pants, exposing her. She writhed, trying to keep her composure. Gripping the mattress, resisting the urge to let him know just how bad she needed it. Bobby’s eyes met hers, a guttural growl emanated from his throat as he moved his face downward. Slowly, never unlocking his eyes from Jess. Those glinting, mischievous eyes. Somehow both festively entrancing and pulsing with lust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck Bobby, please.” Jess finally whimpered, her own anticipation getting the best of her. She reached forward, gently grabbing his locks and guided his face down between her legs. Every moment felt like a lifetime as he closed the distance, his breath becoming hotter on her skin the closer he got to her quivering centre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Enveloping warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips finally on her, soft and wet - cupping her while his tongue moved gracefully between her folds. Jess lost herself, loudly gasping, biting her lip to keep the feeling from overtaking ever. Gentle licks and sucks sent shivers through her legs as she quaked below him. This was different from their first time. No teasing, no delay. She could feel the urgency through his mouth, taking exactly what he wanted. What he needed. Savouring her, relishing in her slick centre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby moved his hands from her sides, gliding them down her body. The deep, enveloping warmth on her lessened slightly as Bobby slowed, seeming to draw his attention to his fingertips as he left a hot trail down her cool skin. She shivered as his thumbs met her hip bones, gently tracing lines along her curves. The movement of his tongue slowed to a leisurely pace, gracefully sliding through her. Occasionally he would return to her centre, his tongue rocketing upward, cradling her as his lips sucked in - sending jolts through her body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time stood still as his hands finally slid between her legs, resting on her inner thighs. His thumbs achingly close to her sex. She shuddered at the new sensation as Bobby spread her wider, opening her folds and allowing his tongue to more easily explore. He glided through her, leaving a wet trail as his pace intensified evoking small whines of pleasure out of Jess. He pressed his tongue in deeper, invigorated at his new access. Every warm glance of his tongue vibrated through her body as Jess clung to his locks. She could feel him smiling against her, the very thought of his enjoyment pressing her ever closer to the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked down, her need to see him overtaking her desire for release. His eyes met hers, glinting with excitement. Embers of lust burning within his amber globes. Jess bit her lip, wordlessly yearning, her blurred gaze begging for him to continue. To take her however he wanted. He returned her look with fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s hands gripped around her thighs, the shock of his strength pinned her in place as he devoured her. His tongue sliding deeper than she ever imagined, the blissful, filling sensation as he explored her, allowing his lips to brush over her throbbing bundle, drinking in her pleasure like it was his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess groaned, the pressure becoming unbearable, her need to come overtaking her every thought or worry. She pulled her legs in, wrapping them around Bobby’s shoulders, pulling him in with the last of her remaining strength, moans of pleasure falling from her dry parted lips. He gasped into her while increasing his momentum. His tongue once more found her centre, twirling around while his lips gently sucked. The room flashed around her as her mind clouded, fuzzy bolts of lightning streaking through her vision, her only thoughts on releasing against Bobby’s warm lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And finally, the world opened. Jess released her hands from Bobby’s head, grasping at the air. Her arms and fingers ridged, searching through the nothingness. Her body trembled, an uncontrollable wave of white-hot euphoria as his tongue gently circled her aching clit, drawing her out, relishing every moment of her orgasmic grinding against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That moment could have lasted forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the world returned, her body floated back and sank into the mattress, her skin enveloped in a blanket of exhausted warmth. She could feel Bobby’s heavy panting against her, his hot breath still radiating between her legs. She took his hair in her hand once more and tugged gently, beckoning him to her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat of his face left her as she felt a wet kiss against the inside of her thigh. Jess pulled him higher where Bobby nuzzled against her neck, drawing his lips to hers. He wrapped his arms around her, hands resting comfortably just below her breasts. She felt truly content. This was perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what can I do for you?” she whispered lazily, trying to bring energy back to her voice while the streaks of lighting faded from her vision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly that’s what I wanted, everything else is cupcakes. Is there anything else I can do for you?” Bobby kissed the edge of her mouth, rubbing his nose lightly against her cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess could feel his cock, still stiff against her leg. She reached down and gently massaged him with her hand, feeling him throb and grow even harder between her fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it seems like it’d be pretty </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>to fall asleep with this in the way.” She gripped him tighter as he moaned under her touch. “So I think we should take care of it.” Jess rolled onto Bobby, straddling him while maintaining her grip. She leaned in while feeling the beat of his heart through her hand. A hair’s width from his lips. She whispered, letting every syllable hang in the air like pink perfume.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to feel you inside me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She trailed her lips down his chin, tucking under and lightly nibbled his earlobe as the words hung in the thick air around them</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby croaked some kind of agreement through laboured breath, his head nodding like it was on a spring. Jess slid off him while he scrambled to the side of the bed to rifle through a bowl of condoms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a dramatic sigh as she watched him struggle to open it before simply tearing the wrapper open with his teeth. His determined look betrayed by his excited, trembling hands as he positioned it over his length. Jess watched in anticipation, propped on her elbow, taking in the long process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, it’s going to be nice when we leave this place and don’t have to use those.” She whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked up, his stern expression grew soft. He smiled. “Yeah. Yeah that’s going to be really great. But for now…” He gestured to the cameras set up around them. “For now we get to be safe. Like the responsible role-models we are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn’t help but giggle at the notion. Anyone looking for role-models in the cast of Love Island had bigger problems than the proper use of protection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bed shifted as Bobby crawled back to her, leaning in to playfully kiss her nose. His eyes sparkled with excitement but there was an undercurrent of something. Was it nervousness? It made sense, given everything that had happened leading to this moment, but she’d hoped by now they’d moved past. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now they were together. Nude, sweat glistening on their skin. Both jittery with exhilaration to finally culminate their feelings for one another. The electrical charge between them as strong as ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would make it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And nothing in this place, this island. This world. Was going to stop them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached up, stringing her fingers through his hair to pull his face to hers. She pressed her lips to his, catching him off guard. He gasped against her before relaxing, drawing her in. The air hummed around them as they found one another again. Skin pressed together, hands clumsily groping, searching for hold. Their exhausted bodies reignited, wanting more.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A warm comfort overtook Jess as Bobby’s hands moved to her chest, gliding lightly over her breasts, his thumbs glancing off her nipples as his fingers explored her. She moved on top of him, leaning in to give him full access while maintaining her lock on his lips. The movement of his hands became more erratic, more desperate. He gripped her firmly while his hips pressed up against her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hands on his shoulders, clawing into his skin. Jess pressed her hips forward to rub her slick centre against him. His breath caught short, his lips broke from hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you, Jess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smirked and looked down into his desperate eyes. He was so gorgeous. So sweet, so funny. Perfect. And he needed her, almost as much as she needed him. Even at their most intimate, she knew that they were right for each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one hand Jess reached down, taking him in her fingers. He breathed deeply as she gripped him, gently stroking as she brought her other hand to her mouth. With a quick lick, she moistened her fingers and brought them down to him, lubing his length with her strokes. Bobby gasped at her touch, sliding against her slippery palm. Jess started to stroke faster, causing him to buck his hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling of him in her hand was overwhelming. She needed him. Needed to feel him inside her. She raised her hips and delicately positioned her centre over him. Jess sighed as his tip touched her, a small moan escaping Bobby’s lips against his will. Slick and hot, she felt herself opening for him as she began to take him in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fire flowed through her, pressure building inside as she sunk over him. Pulsating from all sides, absorbing his heat. They locked together, their flesh intermingling and becoming one. Jess bit her lip, a growl vibrated in her throat as she took him deeper. Bobby’s eyes were wide, poring over her body as she rode him, his mouth cocked open in satisfaction with every thrust and plunge, his breath syncing with their rhythm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room became a blur of frenetic energy, Jess’s thighs aching from the sustained movement but still burned for more. She pressed to his base, taking all of him in one swift motion. Jess buckled, gasping loudly as he pressed against her G-Spot, the pressure to erupt becoming unbearable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby reached forward, positioning his hand between her rocking legs. His fingertips, lightly at first but then with more confidence, explored the insides of her thighs. Tickling and teasing, glancing against the rhythmic grinding of their connection. Finally, his finger landed on her trembling bud, circling lightly. Gently rubbing her most sensitive spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world around her exploded. A hot, comforting blanket of heat embraced her before suddenly receding, revealing a soft, pulsating ethereal calmness. Her breath stopped in her throat and she clenched her eyes shut biting on her lip not to cry aloud. Existence was gone, replaced only by the unbearable pressure of him pressing into her. His fingers stroking her. Her legs clamped around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pleasure swelled inside her, dancing from limb to limb as the heat roiled in her stomach, aching for release. As her rhythmic bouncing intensified, so did Bobby’s fingers - sliding against her, becoming slicker with every movement, enticing her to let the tension flow out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time stood still as a wave of fire rose from her centre, emanating through her chest and arms before plummeting back down to their connection as she came. The release quaked through her body as she spilled out onto Bobby’s hand and hips. Jess bent down, screaming into his shoulder as she pooled around him, hot and slick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck yes,” Bobby groaned below her, thrusting his hips upward into her sopping centre. All sensation seemed to drift into darkness as his fingers dug into her back, his muscles tensing up. He screamed out, burying himself in her one last time as he came. She could feel him twitching inside her, a final release before his hold softened, his firm grip becoming a gentle embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess collapsed on him, her mouth still pressed in Bobby’s shoulder, teeth scraping against his flesh. Wordless they laid together, listening to each other’s breathing, casually tracing unknowable patterns on each other's skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light and shadow returned to her vision, the room came back. Jess slid off Bobby and stepped off the bed, returning with a towel. He lay there exposed, soaked from their love, a massive grin on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that,” Jess said sheepishly, handing Bobby the towel. “That doesn’t usually happen…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped. “Are. You. Kidding? That was amazing!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh? Huh, well I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe next time we’ll put down the towel first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, good idea,” Bobby responded drowsily. He wiped himself off and shifted on the bed, inviting Jess to come lay with him. She snuggled in next to him, resting her head on his chest while listening to his heartbeat slow to a gentle rhythm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think we could win this thing?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a hearty laugh. “Love Island? God, I hope not,” she scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised a brow. “Do you want to be known as Bobby Mckenzie, Love Island winner the rest of your life? That’s a label that follows you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t seem too bad for me. I like the sound of that.” He sounded defensive, hurt by her dismissive words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her expression softened remembering that Bobby was here for financial gain. He wanted the fame, needed it. “Maybe it’s not for you, but for me…. I wouldn’t want the attention. Things are stressful enough here.” Lost in thought, she frowned remembering all the ways life in the villa made her miserable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked back at Bobby and tried a smile but it came out broken and joyless.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we’ve had some hard times recently, but are you that unhappy here? Do you want to leave?” He took her hand, bringing it gently to his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He gets me, I love how much he gets me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now, but maybe. I don’t know. I’m hoping things will be smoother since the girls worked through things today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s been pretty high on drama lately. But look at how good things are now. Where we are right now.” He gestured at the tacky room that was their home for the night. “But, If you ever want to leave, just please let me know. I care about you so much.” He paused, his eyes filled with earnest longing.  “If you walked out of here, I would follow you. You know that right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is truly the best person, how did I get so lucky? I could never ask him to, but it means everything that he would offer. He’s everything.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would do that for me?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You smiled at me and I knew that I’d follow you anywhere.” He kissed her on the forehead and she nestled in closer, bumping her nose gently against his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Bzzz.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously </span>
  </em>
  <span>? It was the second day in a row she was awoken early by a message from her phone. Bleary-eyed Jess reached over to grab it, holding it in front of her, squinting at the bright screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>Jess, a new islander is waiting to go on a date with you…</b>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Really? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She looked at Bobby sleeping next to her. Breathing deeply, looking beautiful and content. All she wanted to do was stay in bed and cuddle against him. Enjoy the way his strong, lean arms enveloped her. Have a leisurely morning together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It brought us together but I hate this show sometimes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She ran a finger down his cheek. “Bobby,” she whispered before gently shaking him awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” he asked, slowly opening his eyes to look at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His groggy, dishevelled morning look was adorable. It furthered her irritation that she had to leave him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, anxiously drawing circles on his freckled chest. “I’m sorry babe, there’s a new islander and I have to go on a date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s face fell and he pulled himself up into a seated position on the bed. “Really? Right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, it sucks. I was hoping we could lie in. To be honest, I’m pissed about it, it’s like they teased private time and we’re being cheated of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I was hoping to coax you into the shower with me.” He tried to smoulder as Jess stifled a laugh. Bobby was a lot of things but a master of the smoulder, he was not. More silly than sexy, it never achieved the lustful energy that he aimed for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds nice….,” she trailed off wistfully. “Unless you wanted to have sex. Have you ever had shower sex? It sounds sexy, but it's not. All that water, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>lubricating.” Jess shudders expressively as if the mere mention disgusted her.  “There’s never enough room to both be comfortable under the water. It’s all just very awkward. I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re cute when you ramble. Go get ready,” he sighed melodramatically. “I guess I’ll just shower alone today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Poor baby. I’m going to, but I'll wear my dowdiest dress. Don’t want to lead the new guy on.” She winked, pulling herself into a seated position on the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should wear your sexiest, let that guy know what they can’t have.” He smirked, resting his hands behind his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His newfound confidence is sexy.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>your thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like knowing that everyone wants you and it’s me you picked.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed, “I don’t know about </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You underestimate yourself. You are stunning and sweet and funny. And very sexy.” He sat up, nipped at her shoulder and she batted playfully at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you trying to flatter me to keep me in bed?” She stroked his jaw, coaxing his chin closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it working?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost. But enough distractions, I should go. See you soon.” She kissed him quickly on the lips, knowing if she lingered, they wouldn't be able to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a wave, she reluctantly left the hideaway. She quickly showered and dressed, choosing a medium length red dress with a boatcut top that was a five out of ten on the sexy scale.  It twirled nicely, one of her favourite things about wearing a dress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She paced in the changing room, not excited about the date, but eager to get it over with.  Why did this have to happen today of all days? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After finally being driven to the very familiar villa date spot, she spotted the traditional setup of a bistro table and chairs with champagne and tapas. Every visit felt less special, even the view seemed less majestic. Same old vista.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At least there’s food this time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eye was then drawn elsewhere, to a familiar figure walking towards her. Someone she knew too well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. His grief he will not forget; but it will not darken his heart, it will teach him wisdom.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Levi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chill ran down her spine as she took in the man who had left her, not heartbroken but disappointed. She hadn’t expected to see him again, not in the villa.  She closed her eyes, letting a small sigh escape her lips. Opening them once more, she half expected him to be gone. A figment of her imagination. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t something she had given much thought to, but she hadn’t envisioned them hanging out after she left the villa, grabbing coffee and catching up on their lives. They weren't friends, ending things romantically had ended their relationship entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But here he was right in front of her again, looking not completely like he did a few weeks ago. It was Levi, but it felt like a stranger stood in front of her. He had shaved close, not his typical scruff, and wore a navy blue button-down shirt and black shorts. Somehow more tan than previously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked good, his hair was a little shorter, but it suited him. But there was something wrong, like he had been replaced with a pod person. Levi smiled nervously, closing the distance between them with outstretched arms. She awkwardly hugged him back, taking in his familiar scent, citrus and cedar.  He pulled away, hitting her with a grin that oozed confident charm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That damn smile, how could I forget? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sit, let’s relax and catch up.” He gestured over to the picture-perfect bistro set, a platter of cheese and crackers surrounded a bowl of various fruits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dazed, Jess moved to sit at the table, Levi pulled out her chair for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They exchanged a long look before Levi broke the silence. “Remember our first date here? Feels like it was yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This doesn’t feel real.”  Her mouth dry and brain frazzled, she forced out the only thoughts she could muster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, right?” Levi’s eyes drifted across the vista, as if needing to take it in again “I couldn’t believe it when I got the call, thought I had burned my bridges here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised too.” Jess furrowed her brows. “Why are you back, Levi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it was Rahim or me. And Rahim got engaged like thirty seconds after leaving the villa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, some ex-girlfriend or something, I don’t know.” Levi shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess paused, assessing the best way to push the question. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why the fuck are you back? What do you want from me? Don’t you know how happy I am? Do you even care? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned, trying to collect her thoughts, wanting to articulate them all, not knowing where to begin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi sighed, “I know it has to be weird, me being back. It’s weird for me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you left, it felt permanent…” she trailed off, biting her lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant to stay away. But going home, getting back to a normal life….I couldn't stop thinking of you. My feelings didn’t just disappear. And I couldn't help watching the show, regretting my mistakes. Seeing you talking about me at the Beach Hut. Some of the things you said resonated with me. You were right about me. I was a coward.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Jess laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I regret not being honest with Lottie, not fighting for us, leaving, giving up on you so easily. I made a commitment to the show, I should have made one to you too.” His jaw tightened as the words spilled out of him, it was as if the honesty pained him.  “I don’t want to be the person who runs away from things. So I’m back. Here facing my mistakes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised a brow and immediately his mouth opened in defensive surprise. “No, I didn’t mean you were a mistake, I meant that I screwed things up with you… I don’t know what I meant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess chuckled. “It’s ok. We both fucked things up pretty bad. Let’s just move forward, no hard feelings. Deal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal. So, what have you been up to?” Levi asked before taking a sip from his glass of wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her own empty glass called to her and Jess reached for the bottle, pouring half into the large glass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t you been watching the show?” She deflected, not in the mood to recap her romantic life with an ex. Things were awkward enough without playing catch up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but it feels polite to pretend I haven't. It’s like how you ask your mates about their life even if you’ve seen them splashing their business around on social media.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True, true.  Honestly, things are good here, at least couple wise. I’m with Bobby and we’re happy. It’s been more chaotic with the girls than I’d like, but we worked through some things yesterday so I’m hoping it’ll be better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt that,” Levi muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Jess to catch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just, I can’t say, but I think things will get worse before they get better.” Levi grabbed a grape, popping it in his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s ominous.” She took a sip of wine, very aware she would need it to get through this date. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” He paused, furrowing his brow.  “You’re happy with Bobby? Actually happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lit up, making a necessary show of her happiness. Levi needed to know romance was off the table, she was taken.  I’m absurdly happy, it feels like everything has fallen into place, like together, we’re exactly where we should be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s… it’s disappointing but I get it. I knew the chance of us rekindling things was low.” Levi’s eyes were downcast, staring his plate with focused intensity. “We should dig into this.” He gestured to the various snacks in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded and reached for some melon, careful to avoid Levi’s hand which had differed closely to hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was almost like he was trying to initiate tension with a sexually charged brushing of hands. She hadn’t noticed how rehearsed and smooth his moves could be. He was quiet, not brash or flirty, his techniques were subtle and now, less enchanted with him, easier to spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She filled her plate before gently stabbing at melon with a fork, not feeling hungry but anxious- it helped, focusing on something other than Levi’s heartbroken face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was he devastated or just trying to make me feel guilty? What had he expected? Me to drop Bobby the second he strolled back into the villa? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at him, she still felt those flutters, but they weren’t like before. More mixed with nostalgia, not a burning fire that had been quenched by their actions. Now, she could see him more clearly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A fuckboy. He didn’t want to be one, but he was. It's like he couldn’t help himself, it was who he was. Even if they had coupled up on day one, it wouldn’t have lasted. His eye would have drifted and they would have ended up in the same place. Exes awkwardly sharing a meal, catching up on lives that had nothing in common. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick sand was back, but she had no interest in diving back in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After a quiet date, filled with stuffing themselves to cover the silence and inane small talk, they were finally returned to the villa. They had been forced there longer than expected, probably trying to get more clips for the show. The producers had likely expected a more exciting reunion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After their separation so early this morning, she was anxious to see Bobby. Last night had been wonderful, and she still wanted to revel in it, enjoy the closeness. This morning was stolen from them, but there would be other mornings ahead. Jess quickly walked into the villa, ignoring that Levi was to her side, holding her pace, letting his arm land close to hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the drive back, she could feel his eyes on her, trying to draw her back in. If he didn’t get the hint, she would have to be even more direct. Why couldn’t he just take her words seriously? Why can’t some men register no as no?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After everything she’d said earlier, Levi still held onto hope. She would need to crush his optimism. It was inevitable, he needed to move on for both their sakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a crowd of islanders at the firepit, some seated, but most standing, surrounding the edge of the bench. Drawing closer to the group she saw what had caused the commotion. Erikah. The first girl dumped from the villa. Coupled with Bobby, crushing on Rahim- now she was back, a second chance at love.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Hopefully, she would have better luck this time</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling in a red bikini perfectly matching her bold lips, she enraptured the group with a story. Whatever it was, Priya wasn’t happy about it, staring daggers at the returning islander.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rushed towards her, pulling her into a hug. Erikah stiffened at her touch, quickly shifting away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hello Jess.” Erikah greeted her with unexpected frigidity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did Erikah not like her? </span>
  <em>
    <span>What happened? They had left on good terms</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erikah.” Jess pursed her lips. If Erikah had a problem with her, fuck it. That was her problem. The constant peacekeeping was exhausting. What was the point? The drama never ended. It was a snake with many heads, taking care of one just meant three more popped up in its place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess moved over to Bobby, wrapping an arm around his waist. She smiled up at him and he returned it, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. More than anything she wanted to see that sparkle, but it was absent.  Her stomach twisted as a wave of nausea fell through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something was wrong, why was something wrong? Is it just because Levi’s back?  She risked a glance at Levi, who was speaking animatedly with Noah. A strange sight to see the two quiet men in an active conversation instead of brooding in separate corners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea bounced joyfully, “Erikah was just catching us up on all the draaaama. Did you know that Talia and Priya had a threesome with Tai when he was here? How hot is that?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over to Talia and Priya. Talia had a face of stone, but Priya’s face was burning with rage. Angry didn’t begin to capture it, Jess had never seen the normally chill, fun Priya this upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, very hot,” Jess said flatly, unimpressed with Erikah's nonchalant spilling of secrets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah looked uncomfortable as well, his eyes focused on the flames of the firepit. Jess had just found out about Talia and Priya yesterday, it looks like Erikah was the one to reveal the news to Noah.</span>
  <em>
    <span> What a clusterfuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi,” Chelsea squealed. “You’re back!” She threw herself into his arms. “You’ve missed so much. Ugh, I can't wait to fill you in. So the day you left, we had a -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi laughed. “I’ve been watching so I know most of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh of course. How silly of me,” Chelsea trilled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So many new faces.” Levi surveyed the group. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi sugar, it’s so nice to meet you.” Cherry approached him, practically throwing her boobs in his face, causing Jess to roll her eyes. Cherry was anything but subtle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi made the rounds, introducing himself to Seb, Gary, Talia, Rohan, and Jen. It was surreal, Levi being back, there was a wrongness to it. Levi wasn’t supposed to be here anymore. He shouldn’t be shaking hands with Rohan or being fawned over by Jen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked for Lottie, finding a kindred spirit. The witchy girl looked as unhappy about Levi’s reappearance as Jess felt. She smiled at Lottie who shook her head, rolling her eyes with a laugh in a way that only Lottie could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a laugh, drawing a scowl from Erikah. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s her problem? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The group eventually settled in at the firepit, bombarding Levi and Erikah with questions about life outside the villa.  Levi remained mum, but Erika rambled on about all the sponsorship deals she had been met with and interviews she had given about her short time in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah had a quiet, soulful look about her, it was easy to forget that she was an actor, someone who enjoyed the attention and time in the spotlight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other than threesome biz, any other dirt you can spill?” Chelsea asked, her blue eyes sparkling with wonder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forget secrets, I want to know what everyone thinks about me,” Tim said, as he stood peacocking around the fire pit in a bizarre dance move. His arms swung robotically, Chelsea looked embarrassed, eyes focused on the ground. Eventually, he settled down, returning to his seated position beside Chelsea.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah cleared her throat.  “Uh, some people like you, most people feel bad for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why me? I’m amazing. And my life is supe cool.” Tim made a clicking sound with his mouth as he nodded.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.” Erikah shot Chelsea an apologetic look as the blonde bit her lip nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is her game plan here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim smirked, “Spill, I can take it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just you seem super into Chelsea and she pretty much can’t stand you anymore. You should see the face she makes when she hugs you. It’s pretty sad to watch.” Erikah looked at him with immense pity, like she told a child there was no Santa Claus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim’s mouth opened in surprise and he looked over to Chelsea whose blonde hair bounced in the wind as she bolted into the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess quickly followed after her, finding her a few minutes later pacing in the lounge, muttering to herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok, Chels?” Jess asked, approaching the blonde cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea raised both of her arms, dramatically flailing them. “What the hell is that girl's problem, how could she blow up my spot like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t seem that bothered when she did it to Talia and Priya?” Jess pointed out, raising a brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was totally different,” Chelsea huffed, stomping her feet as she walked past the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s really not</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess exhaled slowly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>be a good friend. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Ok, maybe it’s a good thing? At least it’s out now, it’s better for you both to move on if you aren’t feeling it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea paused, stopping her frantic exploration of their infrequently used indoor living space. “I guess, but it’s still not ok. It wasn’t her place to tattle on me. I would never have done that to any of you girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do I not believe her? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea continued ranting, “I thought Erikah was my friend. Friends give hugs and help each other, not tell their boyfriends that you don’t fancy him anymore. She’s going to be sorry she messed with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to do?” Jess asked, a smile forming at the corners of her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spit in her food. Or steal her shoes. I should see if Lottie knows any curses, maybe we can make her hair fall out,” Chelsea cackled, invigorated by revenge plots. “Oooh, now we trick her into going on the terrace…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After talking Chelsea out of throwing Erikah off the rooftop, Jess went back outside. The islanders had dispersed from the firepit and had scattered throughout the lawn.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spotted Bobby laying on a lounger near the pool and beelined towards him. He seemed to not notice her presence as she approached.  She settled into the adjacent lounger and reached for his hand, drawing it to her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally,” she sighed. “A moment to ourselves.” As Bobby continued to avoid her eyes, her excitement at seeing him was replaced with confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What’s his problem today? We should be snogging, basking in our love, making everyone sick with our obnoxious PDAs. Instead, he’s being weird and moody.   </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok, you seem a little quiet? It’s not like you.” She let his hand fall and he moved it onto his chest, entwining it with his other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I’ve been distracted, just thinking about things.”  His voice was distant, his gaze detached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi things?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally looked over at her, vulnerable and nervous, giving a small nod of his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a nervous sigh. “I’m glad it’s nothing important. You have no reason to be worried about Levi, I promise, I’m only interested in one fella here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it me?” A wide smile reformed on his lips, Jess could practically see the relief surging through him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” she smirked before standing and shooing Bobby over in the lounger so she could join him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He enveloped her in his arms, as she leaned against his chest, relaxing into him. “Maybe just tell me that every once in a while?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That I can do.” She kissed his neck, swirling her tongue against it gently. “I love you, and I only fancy you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about him being back? He still likes you,” Bobby pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I don’t feel the same anymore so it’s a moot point,” Jess said, running her hand up and down Bobby’s thigh, finding comfort in the repetitive act. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No feelings at all?” he asked sceptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, no.” Jess shook her head.  “I haven’t been pining away for him, he hasn’t been on my mind. It’s always a little weird running into someone who’s seen you naked. But that’s as far as it goes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, because I love you, don’t want to lose my boop queen, especially to that ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a Levi fan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a sleaze who played both you and Lottie. It was hard, watching you together, ” Bobby said carefully, his voice tinged with weariness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shifted away, turning to look at him, settling in cross-legged between his legs. “You knew? I didn’t think anyone did….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw you sneaking off, I got the picture pretty clearly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry… I didn’t know, did you like me then?” Jess asked knowing the answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had a crush on you since the first time I saw you,” he chuckled as if embarrassed that he was caught out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s longer than I thought.? Why didn't you tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi. Then Noah. I dropped hints but it felt like you either didn’t pick them up or were choosing to ignore them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably a bit of both, to be honest. I’m sorry.” She brushed his lips gently with her thumb.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s…” Bobby looked away, and Jess turned to see what had drawn his attention. Lottie was quickly approaching.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sauntered closer, with a smirk, “I’m here to borrow your girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make sure you bring her back in one piece. I’m pretty attached to all her parts.” Bobby kissed the top of her head with tender affection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gag. I bet you are,” Lottie mocked but was unable to hide the glimmer of a smile on her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie grabbed Jess’s arm and led her away to the terrace, shushing her every time Jess tried to talk. “This is important, we need privacy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked around, not noticing anyone creeping around who could be listening. Lottie could be so dramatic sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are snakes everywhere,” Lottie said with certainty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stifling a giggle, Jess followed her, a bounce in every step. Once they were finally on the terrace, Lottie shut the door and directed Jess to sit on the bench. She stood in front of her, fixing Jess with a stern look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m about to be interrogated.” Jess laughed nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are,” Lottie confirmed, staring her down with playful intensity. “How do you feel about Levi being back? Seriously. ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Jess said with a shrug. “A little weird, I guess it feels like closure. There doesn’t feel a huge attraction anymore. No lingering spark, we feel… done.  It’s almost a relief to have it confirmed. If anyone thought bringing Levi in was going to cause drama with me and Bobby, they’re wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How very confident of you?” Lottie teased, clicking her tongue.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shrugged her shoulders “Why shouldn’t I be? He’s a non-issue for us. How are things with Gary? Still frosty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Way to change the subject,” Lottie sighed. “I suppose. I’m not ready to let him go, but also not willing to forgive him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t punish him forever, if you can’t move past it, you owe it to each other to cut the string and let him go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but it's hard,” Lottie frowned. “I don’t know what I want to do, let alone what I should do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t there some superstitious advice you can follow? From the stars or tea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All it's telling me to do is follow my gut which isn’t helpful. Maybe I’ll try another reading.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate to agree with the stars, but listening to your gut…. it’s not a bad idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie nodded and moved to leave the terrace. Gary burst onto the terrace, and Lottie abruptly stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhhh, hey Lozza.” He shifted awkwardly. “I just wanted to let you know we got a text,  there’s a party tonight, a summer solstice shindig or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Lottie said, watching him carefully. “Let’s go talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can leav-” Jess began, looking between the couple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s ok.” Lottie interrupted. “We’ll find a spot, a less private spot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie offered a sad smile, to which Jess responded with a nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching them leave, Jess felt uncertain for what she was hoping for. They should end things, how could Lottie trust Gary after that? But was Gary past forgiveness? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Jess even in a position to judge? Especially as her own past mistake reentered her life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slumped down onto the bench, falling deep into worrying thoughts, losing track of time.  She could only hope Lottie made the decision that was right for her. And Gary. The door creaked, and Jess jumped out of her daze, casting a nervous look to the door. Dread washed over her as Levi approached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi, hello.” She welcomed him with polite enthusiasm. It was bizarre, him being here. She no longer wanted him but his reappearance still rattled her somehow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, I was looking for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I?” Without waiting for approval, he sat beside her, letting his knee caress against hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess instinctively scooted away, putting measured distance between them. A response was stuck in her throat. Gathering her thoughts, she came up with nothing. Mouth agape, she fumbled with her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for her hand, enclosing it with his own. “I know what you said earlier. But after everything that happened, doesn’t this feel right? Me being back? Like it’s meant to be somehow?” He shifted closer drawing his hand down her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s bright blue eyes pierced her with longing, a flicker of what she once felt burned within her. It was immediately extinguished by common sense. What she had with Levi was sexual tension, it was silly to think the spark was completely gone. It might always be there, but it was something that she would never act on. He needed to know that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door loudly open, slamming against the wall as Chelsea bust in. “Girl, I need you. It’s a hair-mergancy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Look,” Chelsea pouted and pointed at her half curled hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks ok to me,” Jess said, searching for the problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you serious?” Chelsea moaned, putting her hands to her face. “I look like a porn star in the 80’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you look lovely,” Levi jumped in, looking at her like he was seeing her for the first time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Levi, thanks,” Chelsea cooed, her cheeks turning a touch red at his compliment. “But I still want to do something about this.” She pointed to her hair once again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go find Priya, she’s a wiz with this sort of thing,” Jess suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woot, what time is it? Fix Chelsea's hair time,” Chelsea squealed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess threw a small wave to Levi before linking arms with Chelsea, leading her away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summertime party prep time. Jess and Chelsea found Priya and Talia talking in hushed tones by the pool. They quickly became silent but plastered smiles on their faces as the ‘couple’ greeted Chelsea and Jess.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I wonder what’s up with them. Are they in love? Just shagging? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heeeeelp,” Chelsea called, leaning her head against Priya’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, girl. We have to do something about that.” Priya pointed to Chelsea's hair while Talia nodded in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I just not seeing it?  </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess again looked to Chelsea’s hair, it wasn’t that bad, was it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the girl group headed inside to continue party hair prep, Jess noticed Bobby and Erikah chatting in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head, letting out a chuckle. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s dumber than I thought if she thinks grafting on Bobby will go anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She caught Bobby’s eyes as she moved past and winked at him. He frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What’s his deal today? Her heart sink as a strange foreboding feeling washed over her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook it off.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don't have any secrets Erikah could be spilling. He’s probably annoyed with her flirtatious rambling. Maybe I should save him? I’m useless with hair styling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea poked her in the arm, she had stopped in her tracks without realizing. Jess felt weighed down, bolted to the ground, but pulled in two different directions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, I need you.” Chelsea noticed where she was looking. “Seriously? Don’t even worry. There’s no way she can turn his head. He’s totes smitten with you.” Chelsea grabbed her by the arm, dragging her inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing to worry about. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then, why am I suddenly so worried?</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jess loved the sun, craved the light source that brought warmth and happiness into her life. Summer Soulstice, the longest day of the year. It should be a celebration, instead, it often felt like a death knell. Every day after, there would be less sun. Every day, more darkness seeped into her life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today, she was choosing to be an optimist, to appreciate tonight’s festivities for what it was- friends honouring the changing of the seasons with alcohol and music. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking out onto the lawn, music was thumping, the summer theme to the extreme with added floral elements and lilly filled vases scattered throughout the lawn. Lanterns added a touch of ambient light. The neon lights of the villa were tacky, but she couldn’t help but be pulled in to how beautiful the villa looked on this night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim stood at the DJ booth without his usual enthusiasm, deflated from Erikah’s reveal. Jess felt for the typically boisterous guy, it had to be hard thinking you’d found someone only to learn they didn’t feel the same way. Humiliated in a public forum, and now expected to play the role of clown DJ.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess waved over to him and he forced a smile, giving her an enthusiastic thumbs-up before returning to his task. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s probably good he has a job tonight, if I was in his place I would be a drunken mess in the corner by now. As much as I love Chels, she should have been honest with him. Like I wasn’t with Lucas. We both need to be better and I need to be understanding with Bobby,  He’s clearly concerned about Levi. I’ve given him plenty of reasons for him to doubt me, but I trust him and I can keep telling him how much I love him until he trusts me too. That’s how it works right? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, all her fears fell away, this was going to be a good night. Even Bobby’s insecurities weren’t going to ruin this for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the tension of the day, everyone seemed excited for a party. The dressing room had been buzzing with energy. Jess felt the need to let out some tension with drinks and wild dance moves. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now, where’s that fella of mine? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Spotting him across the lawn, he was chatting with Gary in the kitchen while he mixed drinks. She quickly jaunted over, drawing Bobby’s eye as she approached.  She smiled, hoping it would prove infectious and pull Bobby out of his funk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled nervously back, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, bruh I’m good with this.” Gary slapped a hand on Bobby’s shoulder as he pulled out a beer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wrapped her arms around Bobby’s waist and kissed his shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m going to smother this boy with all the love I can muster. We’re going to be fine. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“What are you making?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobbyfishes,” He answered, entwining his fingers with hers as he shifted to face her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I get one?” Jess fluttered or eyelashes, widening her eyes, certain she looked more silly than sexy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby let out a short laugh. “Of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way his nose crinkled and his eyes sparkled when he laughed was adorable. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if he knows that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, thanks boo.” She smirked playfully, pecking him on the lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he chuckled, “Did you land on boo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, but I’m trying stuff out, Bobbykins.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, god she loved his laugh. It had been a weird day, it was reassuring to hear him again. A sense of normalcy</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it, cupcake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lit up, “That’s not bad, buttercup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“J-Cakes?” He raised a questioning eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh. Maybe, B Dog,” Jess grinned, the normalcy of the interaction filling her with warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby had a wide smile but nodded emphatically. “Never again,” he said, failing at sounding stern as they each erupted into laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two give me hope,” Gary jumped in. “I mean, it’s lame and all, but nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad to help,” Jess smiled. “How are things with you?” She asked, trying to sound casual and not reveal she knew he’d had a possibly difficult conversation with Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you know, I’m good. On the market again.” His eyes narrowed, focusing on his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be, it’s my own damn fault, and probably for the best.” Gary shrugged, forcing a smile. “Shots?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just one, but yes.” Jess looked to Bobby who nodded in enthusiastic agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary pulled out shot glasses. Thank goodness for Love island sanctioned parties. The rules were somewhat loosened, making the evenings feel particularly special. Gary poured tequila into the three glasses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the sun,” Jess called out as the trio clinked glasses before quickly downing their drinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I missed shots,” Levi’s voice called out, approaching quickly, settling into the space next to Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her stomach tightened and she leaned against Bobby, worried, hating the awkwardness of the moment. She could feel him tense up on Levi’s arrival and reached for his hand, squeezing it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hope these little reassurances help. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“The night is young,” Gary grinned, “I’m sure there's plenty of drinks ahead of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you drinking tonight, Jess?” Levi asked, piercing her with his lovely blue eyes and cheeky smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring the heat rising in her chest, she smiled. “Bobby is making Bobbyfishes which I’m fairly excited for, right honeybun?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bobby said flatly, shifting away and moving back to his task of drink concoction</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Gary explained what a Bobbyfish was to Levi, Jess frowned, watching her partner work. Focused. In his head. It was her fault, she messed with his head so much when they first got together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now he can't trust us, that it’s real.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t punish myself forever for that. And neither can he.  Is he going to be like this after the villa? </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully, he mixed drinks, passing them out to their small kitchen group. Typically called a jellyfish, swirls were created in the beautiful drink, unmatched by its creator's mood. Bobby avoided her eyes while Levi couldn’t keep his off hers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what’s happening in these guys' heads but I don't like it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She tapped her finger along the counter, nervous irritation bubbling to the surface. Furrowing her bow, she couldn’t understand Bobby’s detachment. She didn’t want him to pull any machismo moves and challenge Levi to a duel, but it may be preferable to him turning into a human ice cube every time Levi was around.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess spotted Priya, Chelsea, and Lottie laying on a day bed and bolted towards them, drink in hand, not bothering with pleasantries for the guys. She was hopeful they would supply her with distractions -dumb drama that had nothing to do with her didn’t sound so bad today.  Selfishly, it would be a welcome break. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls' rumbling talk grew abruptly quiet as Jess drew nearer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, of course, I wonder who they could be talking about. ...Can’t say I blame them. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Greetings ladies, I come from the kitchen, where the drinks are. Why are you here, sans drinks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh were’ talking boys. And girls,” Lottie said teasingly, laying a hand on Priya’s knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh. What is up with you and Talia?” Jess asked, plopping down on the bed next to Chelsea, wrapping an arm around her friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya’s brow furrowed at the question. “It’s been fun, screwing around on the down-low. Now that things are public, I’m unsure. I don’t want it to end, but it’s scary. I’ve been pushing off the talk. I know she’s frustrated, I’ve always been skittish with relationships but never like...I don’t know why I’m so scared to go official. I’m afraid if I don’t I’m going to lose her…..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe tell her that?” Jess suggested, before taking a long sip of her Bobbyfish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya sighed, “I will. Eventually. But tonight, tonight we dance. Come come my ladies, all my pretty ladies…,” she sang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, I love that song.” Chelsea stood on the bed, jumping excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do the rap, we’ll have to karaoke sometime after this.” Priya wiggled her eyebrows.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh. Yes, an after villa karaoke sesh. That’s a must,” Chelsea said moving her head up and down like a bobblehead.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard you cut Gary loose,” Jess directed to Lottie who was vacantly looking off into the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I did.” Lottie looked wistfully over to Gary, who was still in the kitchen chatting with Levi. Except Bobby was missing and had been replaced with Noah and Seb.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wonder where he went</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jess scanned the lawn, no one was on the dance floor other than Tim at the DJ stand. Talia and Jen were seated in bean bags, giggling and sipping on cocktails. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fucking Erikah. Probably cornered him and is trying to graft more. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what her deal is, but we're going to have words soon. I’ve been nothing but nice to her, and she’s been cold and shady.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of someone clearing their throats distracted her from her obsessing.  Levi smouldered in the way only he could. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hate that he still makes me feel things.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evening, ladies,” he greeted the girl group before returning focus to Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leviiii, you’re gonna dance with us later right,” Chelsea asked, “Wait, why aren’t we dancing now. Let’s go ladies and Levi.” Chelsea jumped off the bed and grabbed Levi’s arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, “maybe in a little bit, I was hoping to grab Jess for a chat.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess we should get it over with, then we can each have a fun night.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, five minutes,” Jess said sternly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled back confidently, “That’s all I need.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess held back a teasing innuendo, needing to eliminate any potential sexual tension.  They quietly walked up to the terrace, Jess careful to avoid close contact, not sparing a glance at Levi.  Opening the doors to the terrace, she was surprised to see it already occupied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby and Erikah sitting not closely, but too close for Jess’s comfort level, deep in conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t be jealous, don’t be jealous. Bobby loves you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interrupting anything?” Jess said with a smirk, trying to sound casual, like she wasn’t freaking out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby and Erikah both looked up, slight surprise showing on Bobby’s face, while Erikah’s reeked of smugness. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m starting to hate this girl as much as she hates me. And I still don't know why she hates me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby and I were just catching up on things, in the villa, out of the villa..” Erikah said with a twisted smile, “but if you two need the terrace for other activities, we can leave you two alone. Hey, Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn't quite read the expression on Bobby’s face. Hurt, angry, confused, it was a mixture of all of them or something else, she wasn’t sure, but a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach told her it wasn’t good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby smiled weakly and stood, Jess moved closer, closing the distance between them and reaching for his hands, entwining them with her own. In a hushed tone, she asked, “Are you ok? You don’t seem ok and it’s freaking me out a bit.” Pulling away and meeting his eyes only furthered her confusion. Normally filled with adoration, but tonight, they were blank, empty pools. What the hell was going on? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I’m fine, I’ll leave you two to whatever,” Bobby said, extricating himself from her grasp and walking briskly away, leaving the terrace and Jess behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why does it feel like things are falling apart and I don’t know why?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d better go check on him,” Erikah smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is your problem with me?” Jess demanded, exasperated by Erikah’s bizarre pettiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like lying cheats,” Erikah said simply with a shrug before exiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What a cunt. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess turned angrily to Levi. “What do you want? You have five minutes and then I need to track down Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi frowned, “I wanted to talk about us. Clearly things aren’t great with you and Bobby-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess interrupted. “Things aren’t good with me and Bobby today because you're back and Erikah’s stirring the pot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How solid can things really be if that’s all it took?”</span>
</p><p><span>Jess bit her tongue, taking in how true his words are. </span><em><span>It’s scary how quickly things feel like they’re disintegrating.</span></em> <em><span>What does it say about us that Bobby can be so easily rattled?  </span></em><span>She slumped down onto the bench, running her hands through her hair with a sigh. She gripped her hands together, tightening the grasp until it became painful. </span></p><p>
  <span>Levi moved, standing front of her, eyes cast downward, pulling hers towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we didn’t get off to the best start, but things can be better this time. I’ll be better, that’s why I’m back to fight for you, fight for us. It’s what you said you wanted.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said it in the beach hut when I left. That you wanted me to stay and fight for you. Instead, I left -like a coward. But we can start over.” He reached for her hands, and Jess stepped backwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A part of me wanted that, another part of me wanted to try things with Noah. And it turns out what I needed was Bobby. Even if he’s being an idiot tonight. He’s my idiot and I love him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, that’s that. I came back for nothing?” His eyes widened with intensity- desperate like he had practised this speech so many times and envisioned it landing differently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t put that on me, Levi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not, it just sucks,” he said in a low quiet voice, looking deflated, like all his energy melted away.  A shell of the hunky water polo player stood before her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry you feel like you came back for nothing, but now you know. Move on, Levi. It’s Love Island, plenty of other fish in the sea here.  And look at you, you can get a way hotter fish than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled lightly, pained but not bitter or heartbroken. Levi would be fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should go find Bobby,” Jess said looking towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi nodded. “I’ll be up here. Brooding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t brood too much, Come join the party. I can try to wingman you and Gary,” Jess suggested with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll hold you to that,” he said, winking at her before she turned to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess hurried back downstairs, every step feeling endless.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Bobby. Bobby Bobby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where are you? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The music pulsated loudly, Tim nodded along to the beat while the rest of the group danced in the lawn. Jess caught a glimpse of Talia and Priya, grinding against each other snogging on the dance floor while Noah twerked. Scanning past bodies gyrating, Bobby wasn’t among them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, she saw him in the same place she'd seen him earlier, in the kitchen, except now he was alone. He took a shot of something as she walked towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Getting too drunk could get you kicked off the show, are you really doing this? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nervously, she approached him, placing a hand on his arm. “We need to talk about whatever’s going on here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is there to talk about?” he asked, his voice slightly slurring. He moved to pour another shot and Jess grabbed the glass from him, moving it out of his reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what’s going on with you today,” she said, her voice raised in desperation. “Because you clearly don’t want to talk about it. Choosing to pout and instead cozy up with your new buddy Erikah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you weren’t going to go on the terrace and fuck Levi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She winced, gutted that he would even ask. Does he actually believe that? Was he trying to hurt her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you serious? No, I wasn’t. I went up there to tell him things were good with us and that he needed to back off. But now, I don’t even know.” She paused, looking into his eyes desperately, grabbing his hands and drawing them towards her. “Bobby, please stop this. Freaking out. Whatever it is. Nothing is happening with me and Levi. I love you, please don’t ruin this for us, let’s go dance. Please.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted away, eyes closed as he turned her head back.  “I’m not in the mood to dance. Maybe go find Levi. Or Noah. Or Jake.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s how you feel about it, fine.” Her eyes glassy, fighting tears she turned and walked away, unable to stop them the moment she left him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This doesn’t feel real, it’s like I’m stuck in a bad dream. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jess, don’t freak out, don’t ruin this just because Bobby is being a git. He’s being drunk and dumb, we’re going to be fine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She wiped away the tears, pulled herself together, and plastered her face with a smile. With a bounce in her step, she skipped over to the dance floor, finding Lottie dancing with Seb among the crowd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok?” Lottie asked, concern showing on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but let’s pretend I am.” Her voice cracked and her smile fell away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh babes, I’m sorry. Boys are dumb. Do you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight, I want to dance,” Jess exhaled, forcing a bright smile onto her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doing something mindless, dancing with the girls, ignoring Bobby, Levi, everything other than moving her body and dancing with the girls. Pushing it far away. It didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt the music overtake her, falling into the beat. Nothing mattered. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I ran through all your veins</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I saw all of your visions</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I found all of you babe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I couldn't find me anywhere</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And now I'm stuck</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Inside of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess never had any sense of rhythm or coordination, but somehow in her life, she had chosen to embrace her wild spastic dance moves. She may not look sexy, but her dancing always was a satisfying workout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mind was almost completely clear when her eye was drawn to something that made bile rise in her throat. Bobby had joined the group dance. Finally, except he was in a corner dancing with Erikah and Jen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling happily, he twirled Jen. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe we aren’t going to be ok. How could things fall apart so quickly? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had stopped in place, the only islander not moving on the dance floor. Even Levi had reemerged from his funk and was dancing near Gary and Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t supposed to be how the day went. This morning when she woke up, sleeping next to Bobby after a wonderful night together, finally feeling settled and happy. How did we end up here? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched him, relaxed, enjoying the evening and it made her seethe with rage. He ruins her evening, breaks her heart, and now gets to have fun. It wasn’t fair. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s not supposed to make me feel like this. Bobby is sweetness personified, not petty and toxic. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes met her and his expression shifted, looking hurt, brokenhearted - like he was the hurt party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The panic tightened her chest as a now familiar sick feeling popped up in her stomach. Guilt, she didn’t know what she had done wrong, but she felt guilt all the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was her fault, she just didn’t know why. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t take this anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess turned, quickly walking towards the villa, letting the tears come, hoping no one noticed her exit. She didn’t want to be comforted, she just wanted Bobby to talk to her, and he wasn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was awful, not knowing why. Why any of it? Why does Erikah hate me? Why is Bobby so upset that Levis’ back? Why won’t he just talk to me?  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess showered and changed, getting ready for bed.  Did some yoga, jumping jacks, anything to distract from wondering what was happening on the lawn. Slowly, islanders made their way inside -joyous, giggling. Even Tim seemed back to his usual chipper self. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon everyone was inside, preparing for bedtime. Except for Bobby.  Jess waited in the bedroom, watching for him, walking down the hall to the bathroom, checking the changing rooms. Repeat. No Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was frustrating, not knowing why he was mad, or hurt. He was in victim mode and Jess had no recent crimes to feel guilty for. The confusion was overwhelming, the urge lash out at him intensified by his inability to just have a straightforward conversation with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She headed downstairs, searching for him. Couch empty. Moving outside, she spotted him wearing his party attire, one of his classic hideous floral print shirts and beige shorts, splayed out on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun was long gone, the celebration ended, the day almost done. More than anything, she felt drained. Nostalgic for the hopeful excitement that she had woken up with this morning. It seemed like so far away now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night was cold, quiet, even the sound of cicadas had lessened. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s like even insects don’t want to be here. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Conflict surged between rage and tears, wanting to beg him to tell her what she’d done wrong </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, she chose anger. With forceful steps, she moved towards the bed. Standing at the edge, her arms crossed, she attacked. “What the hell, Bobby. You’ve been avoiding me all night. Sneaking off with Erikah. Dancing with Jen. Why are you mad at me? I thought we were fine, better than fine? And now, I don’t even know anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He pulled himself into a seated position on the bed, a cold look fixed on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This isn’t like him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Know what?” she yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This wasn't her, she didn't scream at her boyfriend. They calmly discuss conflicts. She’s not the person who breaks down screaming at whatever time it was in her pyjamas. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“About you and Jake. And all the stuff with Levi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know what you're talking about,” she croaked, losing the anger and falling into a meltdown as tears ran down her cheeks. “I’m so confused right now. All-day, I’ve been trying to reassure you and you’ve been pushing me away.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somone-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erikah,” Jess interjected with snark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erikah told me about all the things you’ve been saying about Levi. How much you missed him. Wanted him back. And about you and Jake,” he said pointedly as if she should know exactly what he was talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What</span>
  <em>
    <span> about </span>
  </em>
  <span>me and Jake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That you’ve been  hooking up this whole time, doing a friends with benefits thing since we got back from Casa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With those words, her heart sank. That’s what this is about? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you believe that?” She raised an eyebrow in disbelief.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Is this happening? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would Erikah lie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, maybe she’s a jealous snake? But she did. And fuck you for trusting her over me!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has no reason to make this stuff up. Everything else she said has been true- about Talia and Priya, Chelsea and Tim. Why would she make things up just about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Jess yelled louder, not caring if anyone inside could hear them, she couldn’t pretend not to be frustrated, annoyed with the accusations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what happened?” he asked, his voice strained.  “I saw you together the night we got back. I know something happened, so what was it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does it matter? You believe her.” She narrowed her eyes at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to know if you had sex with him. It’s a yes or no,” Bobby said, defeated like he already knew the answer and just needed it confirmed for his sanity.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck it, if it’s what he wants to hear...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, I did, yes. Are you happy now?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. Bobby's face fell and a strange feeling of satisfaction came over her, enjoying causing him pain after he’d spent the evening hurting her. “Jake and I have been sneaking around this whole time. Secretly snogging in showers, cupboards, any place we could. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m a giant slag and you deserve better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waited for him to say something, anything. But he stood there, silent, avoiding her eyes like he had all evening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you, Bobby,” she said quietly, before turning and walking inside, needing him out of her sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are we done? We can’t be, right? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess focused her breathing, trying not to cry, but barely holding it together until she fell face-first into the couch in the lounge, letting the sobs out until it hurt. It almost helped, relieving the tension, getting it out of her system. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This was just a fight, couples fight. Bobby’s insecure and easily manipulated. If he doesn’t trust me, it’s my fault, and I need to be better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If he doesn’t trust me, there’s nothing I can do to save us. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess checked the mirror, red-faced, puffy. Miserable looking, there was no hiding how awful her night had been. What did it matter anyway? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a shrug, she joined everyone in the bedroom, most of the others had settled into their beds, waiting for the lights to be turned off. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We can’t even decide if the lights are on or off here. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As she walked towards her empty bed, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the bouncing of blonde hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, fuck no. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” she asked, like a parent catching their kid sneaking out of bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Jen looked down.  “I was going to check on Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to make sure he was ok, we all heard..you know…..” Jen pursed her lips sympathetically in a way that felt condescending instead of genuine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess glared, channelling all her frustrations with Erikah and Bobby into this one petite blonde “That’s not your place. Go to bed, Jen.” Jess gestured to the bed Seb was already laying in. “We had a fight, we’ll work through it. And even if we don’t, he doesn't need you trying to take advantage of it.” Jess stared her down until the blonde scurried back to her own bed looking rightfully embarrassed to be called out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fucking snakes everywhere. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess got into bed, tugging the covers over her, letting them envelop her. Bobby’s absence made it impossible to sleep, unable to think of anything other than how much she missed him. The dull ache in her chest refused to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She cried quietly, letting the salty tears run down her cheeks until the sounds of footsteps approached and a body slipped into bed next to her. It was him, she knew him, the weight of his body, his sweet scent.  She stayed still, not willing to let him see her. See how he had broken her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he whispered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stayed silent, not knowing what she could say, how she felt. At least he was here, that was something, it meant they had a chance. His apology didn’t make everything better, but gave her a small measure of relief, a splash of hope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things weren’t ok, she couldn't pretend they were. But maybe they could be?  She was no longer confused, knowing the lies Erikah was spreading, but it still hurt that he so readily believed them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing lightly, she closed her eyes, sleep called to her and she finally answered, letting herself fall.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Noah’s rumbling snores, the scops owl’s irritating call, her inconsistent body temperature, nightmares about being lost in the woods...all conspiring to keep from experiencing a restful night of sleep.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess awoke one last time, knowing there was little chance of falling back into a deep rest.  It had been an exhausting night, constantly waking up in a cold sweat. It was like she needed to wake up and ensure that Bobby was there, that he hadn’t skipped off in the night, abandoning her once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched him, vacillating between anger and sadness as he slowly breathed beside her.  It seemed unfair that she was unable to sleep and he was peacefully resting. It made her want to punch him in the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Running her hands through her hair, she sat up, letting out a deep sigh as she stretched her legs.  Everything was exhausting here and yet sleep was frustratingly out of reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stirred beside her, his eyes fluttering awake. Even in the darkness, his long eyelashes jumped out at her. He was so beautiful, it was hard to be mad at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes slowly opened and met hers.  He smiled sadly at her, reaching for her hand as he pulled himself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waited for him to say something, but he remained silent, the monstrous sounds of Noah filling the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After the villa, he needs to visit a sleep clinic. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess-,” Bobby began</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the lights shot on. They exchanged a long look, filled with confusion and longing. He opened his mouth, his brow furrowed with uncertainty. Her face felt frozen into a frown, everything that had happened yesterday, it left her feeling sad, empty and undeserving of love. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s here, but it feels bittersweet, I don’t know what to say. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t treat the people you love the way he did last night</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jess looked away pulling her legs into her chest under the covers, ignoring the other islanders chatting, beginning their day, giggling about the fun they’d had the previous night. It felt like white noise, nothing she could relate to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look like you didn't sleep well,” Erikah sneered, walking past her bed towards the changing room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess glared back. “Shove it Erikah. I’m sure the only reason you were able to sleep was lack of conscience.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fleeing the bedroom, she bolted outside. Whatever happened with her and Bobby, she wasn’t ready to face it yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun was up, another beautiful day in paradise, or what should be paradise. Sometimes instead it felt like they were just subjects of a psychological experiment, emotionally tortured to please the viewers at home.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind and focus on the feel of the sun on her skin, not the trainwreck that was her romantic life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After making a cuppa, Jess headed for her favourite spot by the pool only to find it already occupied by her favourite petite blonde.  Adopting a familiar disingenuous smile, she approached Chelsea, hoping to at least pretend to not be in an emotional freefall.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Chels Bels. You’re up early,” Jess chirped, taking a seat beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess,” Chelsea said, biting her lip and averting her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything ok?” Jess raised a brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? Yeah. Everythings great,” Chelsea quickly answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? It doesn’t seem like everything’s great…,” Jess chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea’s cheeks turned pink.  “Uhhh. I know. I’m so so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I had a brain melt last night. Why am I like that? I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for her hand, drawing it to hers and squeezing it gently. “Chelsea, slow down, it’s ok. What are you sorry for?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” She paused, biting her lip again. “I hooked up with Levi last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Jess shifted looking towards the pool. “I mean it’s a little weird, but not anything to be sorry about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Is it a one-time thing? Or do you like him?” Jess asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kinda maybe sort of like him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”  Jess frowned, letting the news sink in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I know you used to be a thing, but I kinda liked him back before he left. You asked me to check on him once… and he was on the terrace. All cute and vulnerable. We talked and he was super sweet but I knew he was still stuck on you. But now, he seems ready to move on. And I want it to be with me. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chels, you don’t have to be sorry at all. Levi and I are done. I’m a little worried about you, I don’t mind you dating him, but he’s….. he’s a fuckboy. He’s nice and sweet, but I hope you know what you’re getting into with him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea smiled widely, wrapping her arms around Jess. “You’re the best girl and thanks for looking out for me, but I got this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you're sure....,” Jess laughed as Chelsea pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea shrugged her shoulder, a coy expression fixed on her face.  “He may be a fuckboy but I’m a fuck girl. I can handle him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love your confidence.” Jess pushed against Chelsea, bumping shoulders affectionately.  “Want a cuppa?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll get my own, enjoy your morning. I know you like your you-time.” The blonde winked, pulling herself up, heading for the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Chelsea,” Jess called out watching her leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea turned and nodded before continuing on her walk. Jess returned focus to her tea, taking a sip and setting it beside her on the edge of the pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Chelsea and Levi. It doesn’t sound that crazy, maybe they’ll be good for each other? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a relief - how little it bothered her. If anything, it was a burden she no longer needed to bear. She didn’t need to feel guilty that Levi came back for her only to be immediately pied off or worry about him causing chaos with her and Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, she only had Bobby to contend with. As much as she blamed Erikah for her bullshit lies, the brunt of the blame lay with Bobby for believing them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a mess, ones she wasn’t sure how to clean up. If it even could be.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>For most of the morning, Jess avoided Bobby. Spotting him in the kitchen, she joined Gary and Noah for a workout. He went for a swim, Jess chatted with Talia on the bean bags. He walked towards her, she veered off in the other direction to intercept Lottie.  They needed to talk, but she didn’t know what to say, what she wanted him to say. So she delayed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What she wanted was for yesterday not to have happened. But that was an impossibility. It had and it hurt. She had done nothing wrong but he’d made her feel guilty - like she was notably promiscuous, a dirty slag that couldn’t be trusted to be loyal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He may love her, but he also believed those things about her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She caught a glance of him in the kitchen, dumping flour into a bowl, probably looking to distract himself with baking. He noticed her watching and smiled sadly, still looking like a puppy who’d been kicked by someone he trusted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except she was the puppy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time wasn’t going to give her any answers, she needed to talk to him. Be an adult and talk through their issues. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, she walked towards the kitchen, embracing her fate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked up, his eyes widened in surprise. He froze taking her in as Jess shuffled awkwardly from the other side of the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you making?” Jess asked, gesturing to the bowl of dry ingredients he had stopped mixing on her arrival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh, cupcakes,” Bobby answered, recovering his ability to speak, but still looking flustered, overwhelmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed quiet and the longer the silence lingered, the more Jess became annoyed. Why was it up to her to bridge this conflict?  Bobby was in the wrong. He should be apologizing not standing there looking like an idiot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, she turned to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She paused mid-movement as Bobby rushed around to the other side, reaching for her hands. “I’m so sorry for yesterday, I was a complete eejit and I know there’s no excuse but I promise to never be that stupid again if you can forgive me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As adorable as his rambling apology was, it wasn’t enough. She pushed his hands away, letting them fall.  “What changed your mind? You sounded pretty certain yesterday that I was screwing around on you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked down, his guilt obvious. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I acted like that. I mean, I do. But it was stupid of me and I realized that the moment you left me outside yesterday. I let my dumb insecurities ruin things. I hate that I did, I should have just talked to you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You absolutely should have,” Jess scolded bitterly. “I love you but last night wasn’t ok and I don’t know if we can move past that. I want to... But I don’t know if it’s best for either of us...” she trailed off, suddenly wary, nervous that this conversation may not go the direction either of them wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’ phone beeped and she pulled it out. “I got a text,” she called out,  shooting Bobby an apologetic look before yelling again, drawing the group towards her.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A challenge. Another delay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As she quickly became swarmed by islanders, Jess read the message aloud for the group. “It’s time to find out what your fellow islanders really think about you in today's challenge. #license to swill #swill the beans #all will be revealed</span>
  <b>.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This should be fun... </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The group ran for the challenge stage,  spotting a giant martini glass and a banner that read 'License to Swill’ before they arrived.  Erikah and Levi stood behind a makeshift bar topped with various-styled drink glasses filled with coloured liquids. Jess presumed they were dyed water but hoped for something stronger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As everyone settled into spots seated along a long bench, Levi spoke, “Erikah and I will be hosting this event today-.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not fair, if anyone deserves a drink thrown in their face, it’s her.” Chelsea interrupted with a pout gesturing to Erikah who smiled smugly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi shrugged and continued. “Today, you get to hear what your fellow islanders think of you. We will read a quote about one of the islanders and they will chuck a drink at the person they think said it. If you as a group get enough points, you will be rewarded with a special prize.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah grabbed a board. “Lottie you’re up first. Swill the person you think said this, ‘</span>
  <b>There’s low maintenance, high maintenance and Lottie maintenance</b>
  <span>.’” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie slowly moved over to the table choosing a tall curved glass containing a vibrant purple liquid. She walked down the line of islanders, enjoying the moment of teasing torment before throwing her drink in Chelsea’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea shrieked in surprise as Lottie smirked letting her arms release into a shrug. Levi turned over the board to reveal that it was Gary. She shot him a glare and he smiled cheekily at her.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I suppose he has nothing to lose now that Lottie ended things. May as well torment the dragon. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah was called up next and needed to find the person who had said  ‘</span>
  <b>If Noah was an ice cream flavour, he’d be vanilla. No, that’s too good. Plain, like no flavour</b>
  <span>.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled at the insult, grabbed a glass and headed straight for Chelsea. “Sorry Chelsea,” he said before slowly pouring the beverage down on her head.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhh,” she squealed. “Why’s everyone picking on me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsurprisingly, the group got a point when it was revealed Chelsea was the correct answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I never said that,” Chelsea moaned with a huff.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, Chelsea… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess smiled to herself, she probably thinks that’s true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She caught Bobby watching her and quickly averted her eyes. Things were a mess, she needed to figure things out before they talked again. His apology was genuine and sweet and she had no real doubts about his affections. More than anything, she wanted to forgive him, move past it - put this shitty incident behind them. But would they end up in this same place in two years? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pretended to be paying attention, cheering as Priya threw a drink at Talia’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia laughed joyfully, “I'm sorry, babe, but you know it's true.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya shook her head, but her gleeful smirk betrayed her feelings.  She leaned over, grabbing Talia and kissing her deeply before returning her empty glass and sitting beside her lovely non-partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They weren’t even coupled up yet, but they were so at ease with each other, comfortable. It was nice, seeing them happy</span>
  <em>
    <span> . </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess risked a glance over at Jake and was surprised to see him looking relaxed and happy as well. Not brokenhearted or miserable - Jake wasn’t good enough at hiding his feelings for that not to be true. He was ok. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was called up next, she nervously stepped forward preparing to hear something horrible Bobby had said about her once. It was inevitable. And the thought of throwing water in his face was rather appealing today in light of his recent actions. Felt a bit like karma. She shot him a look, hoping he would know to be prepared. He raised both brows and she tried to hide her smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah held up a board and read the message. “</span>
  <b>She acts like she’s too good for this place, but she’s just a hot mess in heels</b>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess considered the question carefully. It didn’t sound like Bobby. It was either Priya or Jen, but she really wanted to punish Bobby. Was it worth losing a point? Maybe. She walked towards the group settling in front of Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up and she smiled sweetly, holding the glass up in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I should be, but I’m not actually mad at him and his stupid adorable face. At least momentarily. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She could see the moment that realization hit him and he slowly smiled, closing his eyes and puffing out his cheeks, preparing for impact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She splashed the drink at his face, bursting into laughter as he deflated comically in response. “I’m melllllttting,” he cried, falling to the ground dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess held out her hand, “you done?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He accepted, hopping up with enthusiasm. “Yes, that was very refreshing, thank you.” He moved closer to whisper in her ear, “you were wrong though.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I know.” She ran a finger down his cheek, enjoying the normalcy of the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things could be good again, she wanted them to be. If she let herself forgive him, they could be happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was now self-assured enough to not worry about what the audience thought of her taking him back, but it nagged at her, wondering if that fundamental distrust is something they could move past. Or would it always be there, waiting to resurface? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning on her heel, she returned to the decorated bar area as Levi revealed the answer to be Jen. Not a surprise and the group grumbled having not gained a point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>I literally forget that guy is here most of the time</b>
  <span>,” Erikah read out for Seb, who laughed it off with his trademark laid back style. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so quiet, it’s easy to forget he’s there. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The game was lighter and more lively than Jess had initially feared. The insults were reasonably tame and it was causing more fun than chaos. It was probably for the best Erikah and Levi were excluded from participating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When it was revealed Cherry had said ‘</span>
  <b>I don’t know if I’ve met anyone who puts so much effort into seeming cool and laid back</b>
  <span>.’ about Talia, they each laughed, bonding about societal expectations of beauty and the cool girl trope.  Jen’s insult to Gary about why his eyebrows were so dark caused Gary to fend off accusations of dying his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next up is Chelsea,” Levi announced, smiling warmly in her direction. She sprinted over to Levi and Erikah, bouncing excitedly until they announced the quote she had to figure out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea, you’re looking for the person who said, </span>
  <b>She is </b>
  <span>‘</span>
  <b>nails on a chalkboard’ level of annoying. I just want to throttle her sometimes. After leaving here, that voice will haunt my dreams</b>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea walked the platform aimlessly considering the questions. Her pout was expressive, accidentally excelling at an impersonation of a fish, one deep in thought.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve never seen her think so hard.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok. I think it's Priya..wait no...Cherry. Ugh. this is so hard.” After more waffling, Chelsea finally landed on Noah and poured her beverage on his head quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah flipped the board to reveal that the answer had been Lottie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea’s face shifted into a frown. “Oh, I didn't know you felt that way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked apologetic but stayed silent as Chelsea plopped down into her spot on the other side of the bench.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jen, it’s your turn.” Erikah waved her over-enthusiastically. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, they’re friends. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t let it be something I’ve said...please... </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess hoped but knew it would be unlikely. She had not yet had any of her insults about the islanders revealed. It had to happen eventually. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>She looks like a posh bird but she’s a snake with a capital S.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m ninety-five percent certain that I didn’t say that about her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen bit her lip, looking down the row of islanders with a glare. Jess caught her focus and Jen moved towards her deliberately with a look of hostility</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess closed her eyes as the blue water from Jen’s glass struck her in the face. Wiping the water away, she laughed. What else was there to do?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi soon revealed that it had been Tim who burned Jen. She rolled her eyes, fixing him with a withering stare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stifled a laugh, Jen’s attempts at fury were too adorable to be intimidating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a relief that it hadn’t been from her. Women tearing each other down was old, she wanted to be better and hoped nothing she’d said would come back to bite her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of Tim, you’re up,” Levi said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>I wish his raps were as short as he is</b>
  <span>,” Erikah read from the board, giggling uncontrollably.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim immediately walked over to Chelsea, coldly throwing the drink in her face with a shocking amount of intensity for the jokester. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, it was Bobby,” Levi revealed, to Tim’s chagrin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruv, really?” He side-eyed Bobby before returning to his seat. “You aren’t even that much taller than I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon Bobby’s turn, Jess held her breath wondering what they would use against her. It was irrational and probably untrue but bringing in Erikah and Levi, it felt personal. Like the producers were targeting them, trying to stir up drama while leaving the others unscathed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>Does Jimmy Buffett know he raided his wardrobe? I want to burn all his clothes.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed. That’s not so bad. It was absolutely something she’d said, but was sure she’d said worse. For once she was grateful to the producers for sparing them more drama. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby smirked at her and walked towards her, before suddenly shifting and aiming for Gary instead. The group erupted into laughter as Gary wiped away the water from his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to get you back for that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game continued, everyone taking their turn in the hot seat. After the trainwreck of yesterday, it was nice to relax, and enjoy the company. Jess laughed so hard she cried when it was revealed Talia called Cherry a double dipper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Levi announced the end of the game- the islanders had earned 7 points, which was under their goal point of 10. They lost the game and a mystery prize, but the lack of a complete dramatic disaster made it a bearable loss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood catching sight of Priya and Chelsea huddled together whispering. Suddenly, they sprinted for the bar area and grabbed the remaining filled glasses, dousing Erikah before she knew it was coming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah shrieked in surprise, “What the hell, the game was over and I wasn’t even playing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’ve been playing alright. And no one’s been chattier than you lately, you earned this,” Priya cocked her brow, staring down the girl before turning away with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah stomped off while Jess watched, not enjoying her suffering as much as she should. It still nagged at her. Erikah had been a little bitchy when she left, openly bitter and angry with Bobby and Rahim, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>they </span>
  </em>
  <span>hadn't had a fallout. Why did Erikah hate her so much she jumped to spreading lies and sabotage?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby appeared by her side, taking her by surprise with his stealth. He was often a person who tripped over his own feet, someone you heard coming. “Can we talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you have cupcakes you’re supposed to be working on?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I completely abandoned them. Why? Do you need the bribe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It can’t hurt...” she trailed off playfully. “After the 24 hours I’ve had, I could go for some sweets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Terrace in an hour? I’ll bring cupcakes and promise to do lots of grovelling.” He looked so earnest and loving, she knew she would likely melt, forgiving him instantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was something she hated about herself.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” Jess smiled watching Bobby walk back towards the kitchen. She picked up her phone checking the time. Half past 9. The time was wrong, but it still worked as a timer. At </span>
  <em>
    <span>half-past 10</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she would meet Bobby on the terrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Have a conversation she dreaded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumped in the pool, swimming laps, clearing her mind of all other thoughts. Letting them fall away into meaningless concerns. After wearing herself out, she pulled herself out of the pool and settled on the coping. She shook her head, letting the water from her hair hit the area around her before squeezing the excess out onto the edge of the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shifting around, her eye was drawn to a certain person. Erikah, at a bench, looking miserable. Jess walked towards her. It was another difficult conversation that needed to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah cast her red-rimmed eyes up, they were filled with disdain. “What do you want? Here to gloat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, what’s your problem with me?” Jess stood in front of her, unsure if she should sit but knowing she needed answers. “I thought we were fine when you left the villa.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were…,” Erikah said defensively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, what changed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know who you really were.” Erikah stomped her feet, a malevolent look on her face. “You flirted with Bobby and when he said he wanted to pick you but wouldn’t, you never mentioned me. No </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erikah is freaking out, please pick her, she’s my friend. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nothing. Like I was nothing to you, you didn’t care that I got dumped.” Her brown eyes looked frantic, wild. She truly believed she had been wronged.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry that I forgot to tell him to pick you, but he needed to make the decision that was best for him too. Someone was going to get dumped that night. If it wasn’t you, it would have been another girl.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that,” Erikah sniped. “I guess I was jealous, you had all these guys fawning over you and I got dumped. It wasn’t fair.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, making up lies about me? That’s fair?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn't say anything that wasn’t true,” Erikah defended, wrapping her arms around herself like a cobra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a bitter laugh. “Really? Jake and I have been running around together doing a friends-with-benefits thing? That’s a shock to me, I don’t remember that ever happening.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You talked about doing it and then spent a lot of time together. That’s all I told Bobby. If he misinterpreted what I said then that’s on him.” Erikah waved her arms as if that was it, she was innocent of all crimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rubbed her temples, losing her patience with the snake sitting in front of her. “Fuck you, Erikah. You manipulated him, you knew exactly what you were doing. You've watched the show, you know he’s insecure and exactly what to say. You’re arguing semantics now and it’s bullshit. You know you’re the bad guy right? I’ve made some mistakes here, but you’ve gone full supervillain. And you’ve even failed at that because we aren’t breaking up and now everyone knows what a snake you are. You had a chance to come back and find love and friends, and you threw it away over some petty jealousies. I almost feel sorry for you. Who’s going to want to couple up with you now? Why would the audience want you to stick around?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I don’t know that?” Erikah scowled. “Everyone hates me. I suppose you’re happy about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erikah, all this time and energy you've spent hating me. Want to know a secret?” Jess moved closer, lowering her voice.  “I don’t think about you at all.” With a wink, she walked off, eager to rid herself of Eriah and her toxic ass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt the tension alleviate as the words left her, having spoken her peace, she could move on. There was no saving this relationship and they both knew it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Friendship was off the table. Even if Jess had made amends, she could never trust Erikah again. Lottie had made a similar decision yesterday with Gary. To wash her hands of Erikah, it was a considerably easier decision than the one Lottie agonized over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, all that was left was to rip off the band-aid and have the awkward talk with Bobby. She came here thinking she was an adult, but now she was freaking out at the idea of having an honest conversation with her..'not even boyfriend'. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, she had made it through years of long term relationships not having arguments, working through problems. Conflicts were ignored, untended, festering until an inevitable mutual breakout left them never dealt with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like many experiences here, she felt herself wading in unfamiliar waters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at her phone. Fifteen minutes. Taking a glance at the kitchen, he was hard at work, frosting cupcakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety rolled in her stomach as she began to pace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fifteen minutes. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. The burned hand teaches best. After that advice about fire goes to the heart.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Why am I so nervous? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She looked down at her swimsuit, a dark green floral bikini, </span>
  <em>
    <span>do I look ok? Should I change? It’s something to do</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Considering the question, she headed for the bedroom. It wouldn’t hurt to freshen up a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jess walked into the room, two entangled figures broke away upon the realization she was there. Jake and Rohan. They flew apart, flustered and out of breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry, I can leave you…” Jess trailed off in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I should go grab something to eat,” Rohan grinned before heading for the door. He turned back once, throwing Jake a cheeky wink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake laughed, returning the gesture with a wink of his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the door shut, Jess immediately shifted focus to Jake. “So, you and Rohan?” she asked with a smirk, throwing herself on the closest bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down, his cheeks pink. “Yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you both, are you?” She sat up on the bed, settling cross-legged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy about it? You seem a little embarrassed,” She looked away, feeling guilt from overstepping, making her friend uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, I shouldn't have asked.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake sat down on the bed, feet planted on the floor, facing straight ahead. “I’m not that, it’s just… the show is built around straight couples. I don’t know if we could even couple up. If we’ll get dumped for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for his hands, pulling them towards her and drawing his soft brown eyes to hers. “Jake, do not let this place control your life. If you get dumped, don’t you want to get dumped with someone you care for? Not someone you are forced to be with because of outdated rules. Besides, Priya and Talia aren’t worrying about it and I don't think you need to either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re probably right.” He nodded his head a few times as if he needed to let the words sink in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did that all happen?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not long ago, but it’s exciting. He’s… just so fun and sweet, it’s nice,” He said as a wide grin spread across his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess put her hands to her face.“I’m going to cry, I’m so happy for you both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are things with you and Bobby?” He asked, making the smile fall from her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, just peachy, no problems at all,” Jess said sarcastically. She paused, carefully considering the question she needed to ask.  “Do you remember the night we spent out there after casa? Did you ever think about what would have happened if… you know… something would have happened with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake let out a deep sigh, staring ahead momentarily before returning his gaze to hers. “Yes, and it would have been good, maybe even great, but I think we both wanted something more. Something maybe we have now with other people.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded in agreement, but her brow still furrowed. “When I think back on that night, I wasn’t ready to blow things up completely between me and Bobby yet. It turns out he did that for both of us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t see moving past this?” He couldn’t hide the mild surprise in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we will,” She rushed to correct him. Frowning, she clarified.  “At least for now. But what’s the point? If we’re just going to end up in the same place again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard little things, but what exactly happened there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erikah spread lies about you and me.” She gestured between the two of them. “And Bobby believed them. Without asking me. He just assumed they were true and basically called me a slag.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t sound like him,” Jake said gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shrugged, deflated by the reminder. Did she really know him? Can people really connect that strongly within a couple of weeks? “And yet it was. I can blame Erikah, but if he doesn’t trust me, where can we even go? Long term.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know he loves you right? We can all see the way he looks at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I love him. But I wonder if it’s enough.” She fidgeted with her hands, kneading them together anxiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But maybe it’s worth trying?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess hoisted herself off the bed. Talking about things made her itchy, like a sweater she couldn’t handle wearing any longer. Her brain wouldn’t calm down, but moving her body helped ease the tension. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jake. I know you’re right, I’m not ready to burn it down. It’s scary though,” she groaned. “I’ve never been in a relationship I felt so invested in, that means so much to me. I don’t want either of us to ruin it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe tell him that?” he suggested, his head cocked in his typical sweet, genuine way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake was the best, it made her happy that he had found someone as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A reminder clicked in her head and she reached for her phone. “Looks like it’s time.” Jess raised her brows and scrunched her face nervously. “We’re meeting up to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning forward, he embraced her tightly. “Good luck,” he said, kissing her on the top of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jake. Go find your beau, sorry for the interruption.” She winked before turning towards the exit, preparing to make her way to the terrace. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood at the top of the staircase, hand pausing in place- unable to open the door to the terrace, not knowing why she was so nervous. Her stomach churned. It was Bobby, someone she was comfortable with. Of all the things in the world to be afraid of, it shouldn’t be a conversation with him. And yet, here she was freaking out at the thought of having an adult talk about their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This would be fine, they were going to survive this. It would be silly and hyperbolic to throw everything away based on one awful incident, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heading out there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart swelled just hearing the sound of his voice. She turned to see him several steps below her, carrying a tray with a nervous smile on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe?” she teased. “Or I could jump in the pool. Do yoga with Lottie. Workout at the-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought treats,” he interrupted, holding up a platter with several cupcakes visible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then yes, I am.” She let out a laugh, opened the door and walked onto the terrace, Bobby quickly following in her steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess slipped off her sandals, letting her bare feet hit the slate floor. Avoiding a look at Bobby.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Why is this so hard? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” she finally said, meeting his eyes apprehensively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” he mimicked, shuffling his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chocolate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” His brow dropped in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gestured to the cupcakes, dark chocolate with a lighter brown frosting.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, sorry.”  He set them on a table, grabbed two and handed one to Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” she said, sitting down on the bench as he did the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tapped her finger anxiously on the bench.  The space between them spoke volumes, the weird discordant energy making conversation terrifying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled down the wrapper of the cupcake, taking a large bite. Couldn't talk with their mouths full, maybe this was their best idea.  Taking a bite, she let out a moan as the light texture and rich flavours hit her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby laughed, “You approve?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded, her eyes widening enthusiastically,  savouring it before swallowing.  “Is there coffee in this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned, “there is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, this is so good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does this mean you’re going to keep me around?  Your permanent cupcake guy?” His eyes sparkled excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice, a return to their typical relaxed energy, but it wasn’t enough. The pain from last night, still vivid in her mind, needed to be addressed, not brushed aside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You expect me to move past your bullshit last night without a tiny bit of grovelling?” she challenged playfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiiine. I’ll grovel, but then you’re stuck with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As much as I hate it, we have to actually talk. Not banter past it.” Jess said sternly. Somehow she’d ended up with someone more conflict-avoidant than she.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He looked down, his amber sparkle growing dim. “I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry, it was my fault. I hate that I let my head get twisted.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It bothers me that you think so little of me…. that you thought I could do those things.” Her annoyance flickered, he hadn’t trusted her, cast her in the role of villain without even a conversation. She wanted to move past it, but are they tainted on some fundamental level?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or am I just overthinking things again? Sabotaging myself, not allowing myself to be happy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhaled deeply. “It's hard to explain but it’s more like I think so little of me that I believed it. You get cheated on enough, it’s easy to think it’s inevitable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, it doesn’t excuse things, but it makes sense of it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can imagine the sort of things Erikah said and I’m not ready to give up on this. But I refuse to put up with how you treated me last night. You deserved better than how I treated you when we first got together, and I deserve better than last night,” she said, raising her voice determinedly. If they were going to move forward, they needed to be on the same page. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips curled into a frown. “You do, I’m sorry, and I’ll try my best not to be that stupid about things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She picked at her nails, considering his words and how to proceed. “If you’re upset, I need you to talk to me about it, not bottle them up and avoid me only to call me names.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right and I’ll be better at that too. It’s hard talking about things… it's easier to make jokes, avoid the topic. Or I guess get super drunk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded in understanding. “I’m the same way, I don’t even know how we're supposed to handle it. How to talk about things. I tend to push things down and bury them until they don’t matter anymore. I’ve never had a big fight with a boyfriend before, it’s strange.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boyfriend?” He raised a questioning brow with a smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean I like it…. if you do…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I do," she said simply. "I would like that. You?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More than anything, girlfriend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart skittered at the word. It felt right, like the train was back on course. But maybe it was just an illusion. “I worry about things after this. If you don’t trust me-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do, I will, I promise. Can I get an ‘extenuating circumstances pass’ on last night? Pleeease?” He was trying to be funny, easy-going but she could see the desperate plea in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt herself relax, taken in by his charming smile and genuine apology.  He may not have trusted her last night but she trusted him to be better in the future. “Things are pretty fucked up here, as long as you don’t let yourself get manipulated by snakes in the future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby crossed his heart with a grin before pausing, looking like a serious thought had taken hold. “Since we’re doing the honest talk thing, can I ask… what did happen with you and Jake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing as dramatic as I’m sure Erikah implied.” She pursed her lips, rolling her eyes at the mention of Erikah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but the night we got back from casa, something happened right? I saw you together asleep, cuddled up like you were together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a weird thing to bring up? Hey did you shag Jake? I was with Jen at the time. And I was afraid the answer would be yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you would have asked, I would have said no. Which is the truth. I was fairly devastated when you brought Jen back. Huge surprise I’m sure.” She barked a sharp laugh at the painful reminder.  “And Jake was upset about Priya switching to Tai. We talked about doing a friends-with-benefits thing and kissed. But that’s all that happened. I think we both knew it would have been a mistake. It wasn’t what either of us needed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I’m sorry for thinking the worst of you,” he said, looking as apologetic as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we're going to move past this, we’re both going to have to learn from it and move on. Let’s think better of each other in the future. You need to trust me in the future but also need to stop apologizing and I need to let it go. Maybe I am an adult now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That does sound very adult of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who knew, I came to Love Island to grow up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe we have only two more weeks here? Maybe I’ll grow up too. I could use an extra couple of inches.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even joke about that, you’re the perfect height for me.” A smile played on her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are, you can rest your chin on the top of my head, all my other exes have been too tall. I never realized how nice it was before you.” Jess leaned against his chest, settling in under his chin. It felt like it was where she was meant to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, I hope I don’t grow.” Bobby held back a laugh. “At least not by height.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t.” She shook her head. “You’re perfect just the way you are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the best, you know that right? Better than the best. Like ice cream on top of cake.” He reached for her hand, entwining it with his own, before placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Warmth spread through her, amazed that the little touches could make her feel so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty lucky too. Do you think- Everything’s so heightened here. Do you worry that things won’t feel as intense when we leave? Do we know each other well enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we know the important things. But maybe we should learn the unimportant things,” he suggested, kissing her on the top of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting prospect. What do you have in mind?” she asked, leaning her head against his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lit up. “20 questions. I’ll go first. Spicy or sweet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spicy. I’m a bit of a heat seeker,” she answered with a coy smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure are, you found me didn’t you?” He attempted his best smoulder, another admiral attempt that failed comically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She punched him lightly in the shoulder, unable to hide her smile. “What’s your favourite book?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t read that much.” Jess gave him a hard look. “But I can tell someone is going to have a positive effect on me on that front. My favourite books as a kid were the Animorphs.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh babe,” she gasped. “We’re going to start a book club once we get out of here. There’s so many I want you to check out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait,” he said with a warm smile before pausing thoughtfully. “What's your go-to dessert? Very important for the next time I screw up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shot him a glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too soon?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too soon.” She stared him down, a smile creeping out from the corner of her lips. “As for an answer, anything chocolate. You guessed right on that front. Brownies, cookies, cake… as long as it’s chocolate I’m happy. But I don’t like things that are too sweet....”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And yet you love me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed heartily. “You're the only exception. What’s your mom like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s amazing, nice and funny. She worked a lot, so wasn’t around much. But when she was there she always played with us, encouraged me. Her and my stepdad are both great, you’ll love them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about your Dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not your turn anymore…” He said jokingly, but the seriousness in his eyes betrayed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should be keeping track right? What number are we on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby didn’t want to talk about his Dad, so he would keep that knowledge in his pocket. Maybe someday he would. She still didn’t feel ready to open up about her parents. At least on-camera. It made sense that he may feel the same. Some secrets take time.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shrugged. “How did you get into rainforest stuff? What do you even do? Play with gorillas?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Following the rule you established, I’m only answering the first questions. I’ve always been very invested in animal rights and wanted to travel so it was a natural path. Do you play video games?” She asked, wanting to keep the mood light with an innocuous question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like old school arcade games, I’ve never done the home game thing. What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I enjoy a video game. Shooting zombies? Surviving the wastelands? What’s not to love?”  She threw her hands up questioningly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess that’s something you can teach me about.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of my many skills.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winked flirtatiously.  “I can vouch for some of those…” Moving closer, he placed a kiss on her neck, his hot breath lingering until she pushed him away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby,” she purred. “Later. There are cameras here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure those cameras have seen many things.” He shifted closer, moving his hand up her thigh. Jess pushed it away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We aren’t done. I take games very seriously. What’s your favourite thing to do on a Friday night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm. I like to go out to clubs with friends, dance until they close, get a late dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Jess averted her eyes, knowing she couldn’t hide her disappointment in his answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything ok?” he asked lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hesitated. “Yeah, it’s just that sounds like a nightmare to me. I can handle the parties here, there’s fewer people and I know everyone. But normally I’m more of a fan of hanging out at home, listening to music, having dinner, watching a movie… We’re very different.” She bit her lip pausing thoughtfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was my favourite thing to do when I was single, trying to hook-up. Things will be different when we go home,” He said reassuringly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we're going home to different places,” she pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to.”’</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope that’s true.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your turn.” Jess changed the subject despite the thought being at the forefront of her mind. They would be together, but every other element of their future seemed to be a mystery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh. It’s hard to say…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can say Scotland, don’t be embarrassed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t help but embrace the smile forming on her face. “I feel like I would want to do a test run first, but maybe Ireland. Or Greece. I worry about Scotland. I’m a sunshine girl. I don’t have anything keeping me in Leeds, my job is so travel oriented. Maybe my life will go full circle and I’ll end up back in Lavenham. I loved it, so much that I moved away because I knew if I didn’t, I would never leave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never been....”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s like you’ve stepped into the middle ages. Incredibly small town. It was a wool manufacturing town but that’s fallen away and now it’s just a cute little spot.” She could see it so clearly in her head still, even if it had been years since she last visited. It made her wonder, how much had changed? Could she ever return or is that place so tied to her past that it would be painful?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be excited to visit. And I think you’ll like Glasgow, and if not, we’ll figure it out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded, her hopes rekindled.</span>
  <em>
    <span> We will figure it out. There was no other option. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your dating history?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby sighed. “You know mine, it’s only fair,” Jess pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s not that much to tell. Strings of relationships that lasted six months, usually ending with them cheating on me or getting so fed up with me that they dumped me. I hate ending things so I usually wait for them to do it, sometimes long after I’ve checked out, you know. I’ve never had a super-serious relationship. Till now, I think.” He ran his finger down her cheek, gazing into her eyes with unquestioning affection. “My turn… What do you like about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like your eyes, they're almost gold, so pretty. I like the way you try not to laugh at me when I'm being ridiculous. The way your face scrunches up, it’s very cute. I like the way you smell, it’s like you took a bath in cookie dough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I did.”  His eyes glinted with mischief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head with a smile, continuing, “I like the way you look at me, and the way it makes me feel. I even like your dumb jokes. Lastly, I really like your bum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely. Best bum in the villa.” She shifted closer, placing her hand on his thigh, running it up teasingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll happily take that compliment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you should.” Jess pressed her finger to her temple, feigning deep thought. “What’s your taste in music?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything.” His eyes widened. “Well, not everything but a lot. Rap, pop. Punk. Musicals. Anything upbeat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No indie moody folk jams?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, not for me. Does seem like your style though. In a good way,” he corrected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t completely wrong.” She bit her lip, thinking of another question. “What’s your favourite tv show?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We skipped my turn, but I’m going to move past that because I like the question. It has to be The Great British Bake-off.” He clasped his hands together, stretching his limbs out in his spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that good? I’ve never seen it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dramatically clutched his hand to his chest. “Seriously? How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not into reality tv.” Jess shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re on a reality tv show,” he pointed out in disbelief, gesturing to their surroundings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware. Love Island is my one exception. It’s the only reality tv show I watch. I don’t know why it clicked for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Iain Stirling’s sexy Scottish voice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I have a type,” she grinned. “To be honest, that may be it. It would explain why being on the show isn’t as much fun as watching it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise to make the rest of your days here as fun as possible. And when we get out of here, you’re coming home with me and we're binge-watching.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait. I’m willing to give Glasgow a shot. What’s our count at?” She tapped affectionately at his wrist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea,” he laughed. “I lost track after the first few.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it was fun. I don’t think we did it right though. Aren’t we both supposed to answer the same question?” Jess asked, giggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We do things our own way. Most couples don’t meet on a game show,” Bobby chuckled, drawing her hand towards his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or have their first time broadcast to the world.” Jess cleared her throat, cringing internally at what may have aired.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or have all their family and friends know the details of our first fight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't say it was our first fight,” Jess said dryly. “Maybe the first time you acted like a dumbass and I got to call you out for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we still have the makeup sex?” He waggled his eyebrows until she laughed, then pulled her into his lap.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely.” She kissed him on the cheek, before nuzzling into his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm, wanna go find a shower? No cameras in there. It can be our little secret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked around at the cameras posted discreetly in the corners of the terrace. “Speaking of secrets, can we not tell everyone about going official? Boyfriend/girlfriend thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” He looked slightly hurt and confused, which made sense. Bobby was someone she knew needed validation, labels, the absolute certainty that they were on the same page.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She exhaled slowly, preparing to explain, hoping he would understand. “Things have been overwhelming, I want to keep my head down and survive the rest of our time here, not do anything that draws the attention of the group. Does that make sense?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face shifted into a slight smile, placing a finger to her nose momentarily. “As long as when we leave you're my girlfriend, I can handle anything. Race you to the shower?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess cocked her eyebrow skeptically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No water, I promise, but you’ll get wet,” He added, licking his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are these the kind of jokes I can expect from you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you love it.” He smirked, pulling her in for a lingering sweet kiss before falling away with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I hate it but I do,” she murmured softly against his ear.  “You do have a lot to make up to me. I still haven’t officially forgiven you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise to make it up to you, anything you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything?” She gave a half-smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Intriguing. Let's see what you can do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you have a pretty good idea of my talents.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess threw her head back with a laugh. “Shut up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby zipped his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes flickered to his lips. She kissed him, thrusting her tongue past his lips before pulling away quickly. “You’re going to make me come and then fuck me and make me come again.  Then maybe I'll forgive you. Let’s go.” She gave his bum a slap before leaving the terrace, knowing he would be following behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking with Bobby about the dumb and important things, it reiterated how much he meant to her, and she wanted more. She wanted a lifetime of finding out his little secrets, the big and small. The joyful and difficult. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meeting his friends and family, seeing where he lived…the thoughts buoyed her spirits.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She just needed to survive two more weeks in the villa and they would be in their future. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Soft as butter they can be, and yet sometimes as tough as old tree-roots.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jess sighed, stretching upon waking after a peaceful night of rest. Refreshed, re-energized. It was an unusual but welcome feeling. Looking at Bobby next to her only made her feel more content. Things were good, she was happy. The path ahead looked clear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sliding out of bed, she snuck away to use the loo and begin her day. She didn’t completely trust her excitement for the day, but some optimism wouldn’t hurt. If things turned disastrous, then it happened. She would enjoy these moments of calm as they lasted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking out of the villa into the fresh air, Jess let out another deep sigh. The quiet of mornings in the villa. It was a feeling she loved. A time to reflect and enjoy the atmosphere, pressure-free. It was the only time she truly forgot about the cameras and just felt like a regular person enjoying her day, full of hope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t been in the villa long, just a month, but it felt like she had always been there. Non-villa life seemed so far away from her past and future. There were two more weeks left and then she would go home, free from the self-chosen prison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever the producers threw at her and Bobby, they could take it. Working through one conflict had given her the confidence to know they would be ok. Whatever their future held, they were worth it and it was a challenge worth taking on together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Placing her feet in the pool, swirling the water clockwise while sipping on tea, she felt at peace. The chaos of the villa had fallen away, leaving her able to appreciate the good parts. Great friends, a partner she saw a future with- people she genuinely loved, and the time to self-reflect. Love Island had brought Bobby into her life, but it had also forced her to examine herself, pushed her to grow up and rethink her priorities. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As awful as some of the time spent here had been, she was grateful for it and had come out of it a better person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a morning of quiet contemplation, Jess was slowly joined by more islanders. Bobby made pancakes for the group as Tim performed his routine morning rap.  There was an easy, relaxed energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to bottle this feeling- the laughter, the joy. More than anything, she wanted it to last, for nothing to happen to disrupt the positive energy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smiled at her friends, leaned against Bobby, enjoying her pancakes, made better by happiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feelings stayed as she showered and dressed for the day, picking out a bright red swimsuit. She went to the changing room, deciding to flat iron her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, just the girl I need,” Lottie called out, directing her towards the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sup, Lottsa?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that,” Lottie scolded, holding back a smile. “Can you help me? I’m dying my hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, yes, what colour are you going with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Green.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Green?” Jess asked skeptically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, green. It’s going to look great, just trust me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie mixed her ingredients with focused intensity while Jess sat and watched. “How much hair dye did you bring for this trip?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought blue, pink, purple, green, red, turquoise… I wanted to be prepared for all possible mental energies.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess assisted Lottie in dying her hair, which just meant handing her things when requested and spot-checking sections. Lottie never admitted it, but it felt like she just wanted the company. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie undressed, stepping into the shower to wash out their hair dye while Jess sat on the floor, fiddling with her phone, looking through the photos she’d taken in the villa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some selfies in the morning in front of the pool. A few of her and Bobby making silly faces, some of the vista and a series of photos Chelsea had posed for. She hadn’t taken many but loved the ones she had. So much of villa life was aired for public consumption, even her photos only existed to be shared with the public. Nothing was just hers.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her body. Jess stepped up and handed her a towel which Lottie began rubbing against her hair. “Thanks for your help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hair was soaked, but the colour was a vibrant deep green.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lottie, can you do me a favour?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, what’s up?” Lottie asked, her eyes flashing with concern. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you help me dye my hair too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie lit up. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess strolled onto the lawn, nervous but excited about her new look. Lottie had transformed her brunette locks into a bright blue. She had never dyed her hair before. Lottie had had to bleach her dark hair so Jess was grateful they were spared a text interrupting the time-consuming process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She spotted Bobby at the gym, talking at Gary and Noah while they worked out. Walking towards him, she caught his eye, which grew wide at her new look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a big change, but she didn’t worry about his reaction. He would like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly walked towards her, meeting in the middle of the lawn, “Your hair, I love it.” He swept her into his arms, swinging her excitedly. “I knew I had the coolest, prettiest girlfriend, and now possibly the most impulsive.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t expect things like this too often. Expect monotony and maybe sometimes I’ll surprise you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeeeeeeesssss,” Chelsea suddenly hollered, breaking her attention away from Bobby. Chelsea was across the lawn in the pool waving her arms wildly. “Come join us,” she yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grabbed Bobby’s hand and they joined the group lounging in and around the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia and Priya were cuddled up in the pool a wide distance from where Chelsea was splashing a laughing Levi. Rohan was swimming backwards dramatically flailing his arms to Jake’s amusement. Cherry and Tim both lay on the loungers, she looked bored by whatever he was rambling about but politely listened all the same. Noah and Jen sat quietly talking at the ends of the pool. Seb sat on the edge alone, near Noah and Jen but clearly not part of their conversation. The only people missing were Lottie and Gary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness, your hair. What the hell?” Priya called out. Jess took in the shocked looks and compliments. It was a dramatic change, one she almost regretted upon receiving attention.</span>
  <em>
    <span> What happened to laying low? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s too late now, what’s done is done. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Bobby exchanged a long look, each holding a mischievous smile on their faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Bobby answered with a sparkle in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding hands, they jumped into the pool together. As she hit the water she wrapped her arms around Bobby’s neck.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fun mood was quickly disturbed by the beep of a phone in the distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn, I think that's mine,” Levi said. Chelsea’s eyes grew wide and quickly exited the pool running for his phone in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chels, be careful, you’re slippery,” Priya called out. Chelsea waved her concerns away, sprinting to the kitchen luckily without cracking her skull. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She returned safely, head fixed to Levi’s phone. “Babe, what’s your password? I keep getting it wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi chuckled and pulled himself out of the pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess tried not to linger, but it was hard not to sneak a glance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi still had an incredible body</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And just out of the pool, with water dripping down his toned, perfect abs, it was a good thing she was already in a body of water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wondered if Bobby felt similarly about any of the girls in the villa. As much as it irked, he probably did. It was a sexually charged environment, and it wouldn’t be insane for him to still have residual attractions to Chelsea or Jen. The thought made her a little queasy. But it was natural and normal. Just part of life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As long as they remained passing flutters, it didn’t seem a problem, and she hoped Bobby felt likewise. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Another thing to talk about, I suppose.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After Levi unlocked his phone, he handed it to Chelsea to read. “Islanders, enjoying your day? Tonight there will be a boys choice recoupling. But first, we think you all need to get to know each other better. We have randomly paired islanders, and each duo will go on a date.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess heard her own phone beep. “You will be going on a date with Noah, please change and head to the entrance immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby wandered over to her. “Who’d you get?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess turned towards him “Noah, you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I be jealous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, Gary does have a lovely smile,” he said, teasing her with a dreamy faraway look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better than this?” Jess grinned widely, showing as many teeth as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not.” He wrinkled his nose, kissing her at the corner of her lips. Holding hands, they headed inside to prepare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess changed into shorts and a sleeveless dark green satin shirt. Looking at her now blue hair, it would take some getting used to...  If she didn’t, she could always dye it back. It wasn’t worth obsessing over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of the group reformed at the entrance to the villa, the pairings settling together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess made her way over to Noah. “Hi,” she smiled awkwardly as Noah reciprocated with a greeting. They hadn’t spent much time together since their relationship deteriorated. She hoped this date wouldn’t be too weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary and Bobby, chattering closely, walked up to Noah and Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, we need you. What kind of animal would Gary be? Gut answer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting question.” Jess looked down at Gary, assessing his features before returning her gaze to Bobby. “Gorilla. He has serious hipster gorilla vibes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” Bobby said gleefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. How did I get stuck with you?” Gary groaned, punching Bobby in the shoulder as Jess snorted with laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess lightly pushed Gary away, wrapping an arm around Bobby’s neck as she leaned against him.  “You’re lucky to get to go out with this one. I’m a bit jealous though, I haven’t even gotten to go on a date with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s face shifted into an expression of incredulity. “How is that true? I’m going to date you so hard when we get out of here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait, Bobs,” Jess said, pulling him in for a hug as he bombarded her neck with wet kisses, making her laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross, blah. Keep your neck away from my date,” Gary smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep those loose lips of yours off my man,” Jess instructed sternly, her lips holding the glimmer of a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary laughed heartily. “No promises.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah stepped towards them, reminding them of his presence. “What a weird idea, randomly paired dates.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded. “It is, but I kinda love it. It’s a fun way for us to bond, and remind us of the importance of all kinds of relationships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d still rather go on a date with you,” Bobby said with a wink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same.” Jess leaned against him, running her hand up his arm. It didn’t seem fair, almost unreal that in all their time in the villa, they never had gone on a real date. One that was just about the two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking around at the gathered groups, a series of jeeps arrived to bring the islanders to their mystery destination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess and Noah, Bobby and Gary, Tim and Cherry, Chelsea and Priya, Lottie and Rohan, Talia and Seb, Jen and Jake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bounced with anticipation, wondering what to expect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah held out his hand, helping Jess into the jeep. After a short silent ride, they arrived at a lemon grove hidden on an isolated farm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It always seemed surreal that spots like this existed so close to the villa. Sometimes the distance between them and the real world felt so huge it was like they were trapped on another planet. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>Any change of scenery was always particularly exciting in the humdrum villa life routine. Trees spread across the area with a picnic spot set up in the middle. The air smelled different, fresher, the sky somehow looked bluer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They filled a basket with lemons to bring back to the villa before taking a seat on the ground, enjoying the already prepared lemonade set on a table for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chickens clucked nearby. It was lovely, but bitterness rose in her throat wishing that it was Bobby sharing this experience with her. Or even one of the girls like Lottie or Chelsea. Instead, she was trapped in a beautiful date with her hunky sorta ex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, you got stuck with me. I’m sure you’d rather be with Bobby,” he said as if he could read her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, shrugging lightly. “It’s ok, I’m glad we’re getting a chance to hang out. It’s been too long. Is there anyone you’d rather be here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah looked down, his cheeks flushing slightly.  “Maybe, I think Jen and I might have something. I mean, she’s basically you so it checks out. I have a type.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, interesting.” Jess couldn’t figure out how to react. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jen and Noah? I guess it makes sense. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s a little weird, but it feels right. I  was planning to leave until we started talking more. She’s an incredible woman, smart and kind. She made me remember why I came here in the first place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize you’d thought about leaving, ” Jess said before taking a long sip of lemonade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After things fell apart with you, Hope, Talia, Priya...it felt like I was never going to find love here.  I miss my family, I started counting down the days till we return to normal life.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there such a thing as normal life after Love Island?” she asked wryly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True, so many people think they know you. We don’t even know the snippets that have aired,” he said with a chuckle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure eventually there will be a return to normalcy. I hope.” Jess laughed nervously. “I miss the weirdest things, the sound of a needle dropping on a record, flipping through the pages of a book.  Dumb cat videos. At least fame can’t ever ruin those things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm, I miss the smell of old books and coffee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have coffee here,” Jess pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah shook his head. “We have coffee here, not good coffee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed. “True, but I’ve had worse. I miss going for long walks outside, even when it’s a little brisk out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss my pet snake Carl, excited to see him again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Snake huh, I don’t know how Jen will feel about that.” Jess teased before launching into a tale of one of the many times she experienced snakes in the wild.  They both fell into ease talking about their lives, it was nice. Normal even. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having a non-date with Noah reminded her of their first few conversations and how much she had liked him and genuinely respected him as a person. Returning to that dynamic was like finding a sweater you’d forgotten about and realized it fit perfectly, you were just using it in the wrong season. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After they ran out of things to talk about they sat together quietly sipping lemonade, watching chickens and enjoying the day together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She still would have preferred Bobby there, but Noah wasn’t bad company. Somehow they had managed to fall back into friendship. Maybe this time it could last. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Returning to the villa, Gary and Cherry were working out at the gym as Rohan and Jake talked beside them.  Noah and Jess left their basket on the kitchen counter, immediately heading separate directions. Jess didn’t see Bobby, but the rest of the girls had commandeered two daybeds and were lounging comfortably. Jess bounded towards them, a pep in her movements that felt unusual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Preparing for a conversation with the girls without any sense of dread? How strange. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was getting along, so well that Jess was afraid of being lulled into complacency and surprised by a new inevitable drama. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess plopped down into a spot next to Lottie and sprawled out, setting her head in Chelsea’s lap. On the adjacent bed, Priya cuddled against Talia, arms wrapped around the other looking happy and cozy.  Jen lay next to the couple spread out on her stomach, hands resting under her chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was your date with Noah?” Lottie asked, raising a perfectly drawn eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty nice, we talked about books, life. It was good,” Jess answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea smiled adoringly, stroking Jess’s hair. “It’s so sweet. You guys tried being a couple and it didn’t work out but now you can be friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded in agreement. “We’re in a good place, it almost felt like closure. How were everyone else’s dates?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, it was fine. We already dissected them. Pretty dull stuff.  But I want to know who’s picking who tonight. Boys choice,” Chelsea trilled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know what that means for us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It means we’re going to end up stuck coupling up with boys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never know, maybe they can change the rules for us,” Talia suggested, tugging a strand of hair behind Priya’s ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They should,” Jess said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t get my hopes up, we’ll probably end up coupling with Jake or Rohan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If Rohan and Jake couple up, maybe Talia and Priya could too. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess lit up at the prospect. It would be wrong to betray their confidence by revealing they were a couple, but maybe it meant things could work out?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you hoping will pick you, Jess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha ha. Fingers crossed there’s no unexpected disaster tonight. Things finally seem good. What about you Jen? Noah told me he fancied you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jen frowned. “I like Noah, but I’m hesitant to couple up with him. After what happened with Bobby. I don’t hold it against you or anything. But like, I don’t want to just keep getting dumped by your castoffs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Things were never going to work out with me and Noah, but I don’t think he ever realized that we were never really compatible, just perfect on paper. Maybe you two could have that romance compatibility as well as a good looking piece of paper. Don’t throw it away because of me. You and Noah both deserve to be happy, maybe it could be together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess is right,” Lottie added. “I don’t love the guy, but you could be good together. Perfect and boring, in that white picket house sort of way. No offence."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little offence taken,” Jen said with a small smile. “But it’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked Seb to pick me tonight,” Lottie said casually as if it wasn’t a big deal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, exciting,” Priya cooed</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, it’s fine….” Lottie paused thoughtfully. “He's nice and cool… but he doesn’t do it for me like Gary. I need someone who challenges me, calls me on my bullshit. And Seb… he’s fine but I can’t see it lasting. I’ll get bored with him, he’ll get tired of me walking over him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very self-aware of you, Lottie. I’m impressed,” Talia said, moving her sunglasses up to the top of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s easy to figure things out when you have nothing but time to think.” She answered, fiddling with the moon necklace she often wore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want Gary to pick you?” Jess asked Lottie, tilting her head, watching Lottie’s reaction carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie pursed her lips. “I don’t know. Maybe. I miss him. But I already told him things were done. And now. Look at him over there grinning like an idiot at whatever lines Cherry is throwing him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a glance over at the gym spotting Cherry running her hand down Gary’s bicep. He puffed up with pride, in full peacock mode at Cherry’s grafting attempts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok to change your mind. If things don’t feel done, maybe they aren’t.” Chelsea said, shrugging her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Lottie bit her lip wistfully. “But he’s not pining away for me. The smart thing would be to let him go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe we only have two weeks left here? I’ve never been happier.”  Chelsea began animatedly gushing about her time in the villa. “Laying in the sun talking about boys, wearing swimsuits all day, cute boys to snog, no concerns, I never want this to end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed moving out of Chelsea’s lap, shifting to a cross-legged position on the bed.  “Opposite here. I love you all but I’m so ready to go it’s insane. All-day I’ve had this strange calm but anxious feeling. It’s like the last day of vacation. In my head, I’m packed and ready to go but there’s more time left.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you just leave? Nothing is keeping you here,” Priya challenged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby,” Jess said simply with a shrug. “I can’t ask him to walk out on this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you’re going to win right?” Priya asked, narrowing her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Jess frowned. “I don’t know if I would be here if I didn't think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I could win,” Chelsea huffed, crossing her arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s be serious here,” Talia began. “Jess and Bobby have to be the audience favourites, just look at this girl, she looks like she could have birds dress her in the morning even with blue hair. And Bobby… everyone loves him. How could they not? And together, you are the cutest couple. It’s an obvious choice. The rest of us are battling it out for second place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess picked at her nails, agitated at the conversation topic, but knowing talking about it would help.  “I feel conflicted about it, I know Bobby wants to win. He needs the money for bakery startup capital, but I don’t need it. And I’m terrified of the fame attached with winning the show. Millions of strangers following me on Instagram, wanting interviews. It makes me want to run home. At least if we lost, there’s less pressure and publicity.” Jess paused, placing her face into her hands. Letting out a moan, she continued, “I just want to read a book and cuddle on the couch with Bobby. I’m sick of wearing a swimsuit and having to put on a full face of makeup at night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you talked to him about it?” Lottie asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but it’s fine. I’m sure he would say we should leave. And it’s not that I’m miserable being tortured here. I can’t ask him to sacrifice his dreams because I’m ready to leave. He’s not and I’m alright with it. I’m hoping we’ll coast through the next couple weeks. Not bring any of our exes in? Or former enemies,” she laughed bitterly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group nodded in agreement before Talia changed the subject to something absurd she’d spotted Tim doing earlier, and conversation continued. The laughter came easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby swooped in, surprising the group with a tray full of lemonade. “I saw lemons, and figured someone left them there as a hint.” He threw Jess a wink before handing each girl a glass of lemonade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, boo-cakes, you’re the best,” Jess beamed at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right back at you, Jess-bear.” As quickly as he appeared, he shuffled off, leaving the girls to their talk which ranged everywhere from eyebrow maintenance to favourite vacation spots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One by one the girls broke apart, each heading off for a new activity. The day continued in surreal, too good to be true. Almost like it was a dream. There was a strange hazy energy to the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was surprisingly quiet. If she hadn't known better, she would think they were fighting.  He managed to not be in the same area long, dipping out when she drew closer. But he didn’t seem upset, more contemplative. Maybe he was missing his family? As much as she wanted to smother him with affections to cheer him up, it may not be what he needed. Sometimes people need space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This place had tortured her in so many ways, but it had changed her for the better in ways she hadn’t expected. She hadn’t had as much fun as expected, but the challenges she faced had taught her who she was and wanted to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A weird nostalgic appreciation for the villa overtook her as if her gut knew something her head didn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess caught up with Bobby shortly after dinner, “You. You’ve been avoiding me all day,” she said lightly, half-seriously scolding him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? No, I haven’t,” he answered, placing his arm around her. Running his fingers up and down her arm, his touch spreading tingly feelings through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, you’ve been scarce…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just thinking about things.” His thumb gently brushed over her lips. “I love you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm, I love you too. How was your date with Gary? Do I need to worry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe a little.” He chuckled. “It was a good time, drank wine, chatted about guy stuff. Like sports. Machines. Fit birds. That sort of thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Intriguing.” She kissed him on the lips. He reciprocated, grasping her hips and pulling her closer, deepening the kiss until they finally drew away, gasping for air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have an ok time with Noah?” he asked, eyes ablaze, his voice hoarse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After that, you want to talk about Noah?” she laughed, booping him on the nose. “I did actually, but next time they send me on a date it better be with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise to take you on a date tomorrow. Just you and me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised a brow, “How do you expect to manage that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tapped his finger against the side of his nose.  “A magician never reveals his secrets.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before long, it was time. Recoupling. Jess was nervous, not knowing quite why. She and Bobby were already coupled up, the odds of someone else picking her before him appeared slim. Levi seemed taken with Chelsea, barely sparing Jess a glance. Noah and Jen spent most of the day together in deep conversation. Seb had promised to pick Lottie and Gary had been making serious moves on Cherry for most of the day. Not having a chance to chat with either today, Jess was unsure if Rohan and Jake would choose to go public with their relationship. If not, they would likely choose Priya and Talia leaving her safe with Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only true wildcard was Tim. Who would he be choosing? If it was down to her and Erikah, would he choose her? She had confidently said no one would want to couple up with Erikah, but that sentiment could come back to bite her if Bobby picked last. How horrible would it be if Bobby was stuck coupled up with Erikah?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even the slim chance of it happening left shivers down her spine. It was always so damn quiet during recoupling nights. She was never more aware of the cicadas, the only sound that broke up the tension. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in front of the boys, in a line with the rest of the girls, she was very aware that the power was firmly in their hands. There was no reason technically to worry that Bobby wouldn’t be able to choose her. But it had happened before. She shifted in place, fiddling with the edges of her red skirt until Priya grabbed her hand. Jess looked up at her, Priya gave an encouraging smile and squeezed her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, returning Priya’s smile with one of her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She scanned over the boys, Jake and Rohan both seemed nervous, with Jake fidgeting wildly. Rohan reached for his hand, calming him almost immediately. Tim stared ahead looking stoic and focused while Seb smiled at Lottie. Noah calmly sat, his hands held together in his lap. Gary’s brow was furrowed as he stared at the flames in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby contentedly sat on the edge of the bench, leaning back. His legs crossed in front of him, wearing one of his many floral shirts, this one green and blue. He had never looked so relaxed for a recoupling, it made her feel better. If Bobby wasn’t worried, she wouldn’t either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She caught his eye and winked at him. He laughed and winked back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Things would be fine. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Beep</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Any residual worries drifted aways as Bobby reached for his phone and stood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confidently, he walked towards the girls, focusing his attention directly on Jess. He smiled widely, his happiness evident. Her heart pounded as his eyes fixed upon hers, filled with tenderness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I came here, I never expected to find love. I hoped but never believed it would happen. I had other goals, one that doesn’t matter as much as the lovely lady I’ve fallen for. I don’t want to couple up with anyone here, at least, not on Love Island. I’m sorry everyone, but I want to go home and read a book and watch a movie on a couch, cuddled up with the person I love. That’s what I’m choosing. So…. goodbye.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes turned glassy at his words, in shock that he would do this for her. How had she found someone so wonderful who loved her this much? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Bobby walked towards the villa. Jess stood frozen until Chelsea giddily poked her in the arm. “Go get your man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This doesn't feel real. We’re going home?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re going home together.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She slowly moved towards the entrance, feeling like this had to be a dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was everything she wanted, there was no question that it was the right decision. But she hadn’t expected it, didn’t trust that it was actually happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess walked into the bedroom and found Bobby already packing his suitcase. “Are you sure about this? It's not too late to go back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, I am. I heard you talking earlier with the girls.  Money, fame, it's great, but this is more important.” He tenderly grasped her hand. “Let’s pack.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” she said, standing next to him. She kissed him on the shoulder before getting her suitcase and began to pack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A weight she was carrying had been lifted. She hadn’t asked for it, but she had never loved him more for making this decision for them.</span>
  <em>
    <span> We’re going home. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Home. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>This is happening, it’s really happening. It’s time to say goodbye to the villa.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was almost impossible to process all of her emotions. Giddy with excitement and yet she knew she was going to miss her friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a short conversation with the producers, they were pulled into a much longer beach hut session where they fielded numerous questions - all asking the same thing: Why? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bags packed, they headed for the exit, ready to say their goodbyes to the villa and their friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It turned out home was a little further away than she’d hoped. Instead of a quick flight away, they needed to stay at a villa close by until their episode aired. But they would be together. Not filmed. No dumb challenges or fights to manage. For three days, it would be just them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was everything she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was so calm and decisive about the situation that it soothed any concerns that she may have had. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It felt right. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Filling their suitcase with six weeks worth of clothing didn’t take long. Villa life had consumed them but was so easily packed away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was hyper-aware of every action, every sight. The way the wheels rolled on the concrete, the glow of the hanging lamps, the slight chill in the air, the way the lights hit the grass at night. All things she would never experience again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While she was happy to be leaving, there was still a bittersweetness to their exit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A part of her would miss the tacky neon lights, cheesy phrases, and the fruit art that adorned the bedrooms. For a month, this place had been her home. It was where she met Bobby, fell in love and as much as she wanted to leave, it would always hold a special place in her heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding hands they rolled their suitcases towards the exit. The islanders stood in a line ready to say their fond farewells. Erikah stood away from the group, a sour expression burned onto her face. Jess shot her a condescending smile before turning to Jake. He wrapped her up in a giant bear hug, both hesitant to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You give the best hugs, you know?” She held him tighter, unsure of when they would meet again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and you’ll get plenty more after I get out of here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to hold you to that.” Jess kissed him on his stubbled cheek before turning to hug Rohan. And then Chelsea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea let out a dramatic moan, “I miss you so much already my beautiful sexy bra.” They both bounced together holding hands. “After this summer, we’re gonna go hang out with some pugs on a rug with our mugs.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds amazing, Chels. I love you.” Jess swallowed the lump in her throat realizing how much she genuinely loved and would miss her friends here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One by one she went down the line, promises of hanging out after the show ends, enthusiastic hugs and well wishes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She found herself growing more teary-eyed with each farewell.  Hugging Jen and Cherry, a little more awkwardly than the rest, she realized she was even going to miss them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time she made it to Lottie she was a blubbery mess, now amplified by Lottie’s reaction. So stoic and cool, she didn’t expect Lottie to fall apart. But there they were, once enemies - now two women lightly sobbing in each other’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pulled herself together, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her hand. Fidgeting slightly with her fingers, shuffling in place, she let out a deep sigh as Bobby wrapped his arms around her. Looking over at him, he was glassy-eyed as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Gary hugged tightly, Priya made him promise to rap with her at the afterparty. Their relationship had once irked her, but now she was happy Bobby and Priya were close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those special friendships they had formed, she hoped their promises of hanging out post villa were not empty. When she first arrived she had thought the worst of anyone who would choose to go on this damn show. Like she was too good for this place, too good for them. But they welcomed her, didn’t judge her even as she judged them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she remembered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened? With the rest of the recoupling?” Jess suddenly asked. With everything going on, the recoupling had been pushed out of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She and Bobby had stolen the recoupling thunder, leaving abruptly without even sparing a thought for what happened to their friend’s relationships. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still a work in progress, she was grateful they didn’t hold it against them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re an ex-islander now, you’re going to have to watch the show to find out,” Priya said with a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After they gave their final farewells, they walked towards the jeep. She tilted over, leaning towards Bobby’s ear, “Just wait until I get you alone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting into the jeep, she settled into the backseat next to Bobby, grabbing his hand and squeezed it tightly. Buzzing with excitement, she couldn’t wait to see where they would be staying for three days until their episode aired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The driver stayed silent, putting on the radio. An unfamiliar song played, but it was unmistakably Ezra Koenig. A new Vampire Weekend album...what else had she missed while in the villa? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Any new shows? Celebrity sex scandals? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Less than ten minutes later they arrived at a villa. A lovely stone exterior, it was a warm and inviting place with moss running down the wall.  Smaller than the one they had just left. But it was theirs, for three days at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, we're home,” Bobby said, opening the door. He held up his arms, swiftly and effortlessly picking her up and carrying her over the threshold. She laughed, embracing their first moments together that was just for them. No one judging them, picking their actions apart to the delight of the UK media.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The one thing she dreaded about returning to civilization was finding out that people hated it, she wondered what horrible things would be said about her. Would it hurt her chances of finding a new position? Would the coffee barista at the local cafe spit in her coffee?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Que sera sera. It didn’t help to dwell. She looked over at Bobby. He was happy, content. With him by her side, she would be fine. Better than fine. Happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She cast a look around the villa, it was more her style than the previous one. Wide-open spaces, wood accents and marble floors, black minimal decorations with abstract art lining the walls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling giddily, she bumped against Bobby. “This place is great, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not as great as you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re practically made of cheese and I love it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god… a tv.” Jess pointed in awe to the giant flat screen to the left of the entryway.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Bobby raised his voice, walking into the living room. He grabbed a remote on the glass coffee table and flopped down on the black leather couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked around, spotting a soft green blanket on a corner chair. Grabbing it, she sat it on the couch and settled in next to Bobby. She smiled against his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if there are any books here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled, “I love your priorities.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if things get awkward now that it’s just us? We could run out of things to talk about.” She raised her brows, challenging him, the hint of a smile on her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, we’ll just have to find more things to talk about. Or a bit more of this.” His eyes drifted towards her lips. As he lightly caressed her chin, she grabbed his face in her hands, drawing him towards her in a soft kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moaned against him before pulling away, her mouth lingering against his neck. “I could get used to this. You and me. Hanging out. Shall we see what’s on?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby flipped through the channels. Spanish news. A game show. An infomercial. Simon Pegg drinking a beer at a pub. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, stop. Let’s watch this,” Jess called out, nudging Bobby gently on his arm. “This is one of my favourites.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen it and it’s in Spanish, but I love your enthusiasm.” He kissed her on her temple, somehow still causing flutters in her stomach at his touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s insane how much I’ve missed the glow of a tv screen,” Jess said. “This is oddly soothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby wrapped his arm around her and she nuzzled closer into his chest. Together they watched a movie, enjoying a mindless act together. It was nicer than she could have ever hoped. He trailed his fingers lightly up her arm, it was casual, perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the film, they turned off the tv and began exploring the place. The kitchen was stocked with non-perishable food and frozen delights of meat, frozen pizzas, and ice cream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was bonkers how special normal things like watching tv and private time seemed. Tomorrow after waking up, they didn’t have to change into swimsuits. They could wear t-shirts and shorts. It was surreal, something to get used to, but exciting nonetheless. Scoping out rooms, they chose the largest room with an attached bath to unpack their suitcases into. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jess pulled clothes out of her suitcase, Bobby let out a dramatic moan. “Why can’t we just keep our stuff in a suitcase?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked towards him, placing a hand on his chest. “Bobkins, if that’s how you want to live your life, go for it. But that’s not me. I unpack.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby grinned, leaving everything other than toiletries in his suitcase and stripping down to his boxers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Undressing in front of each other, no concerns about other islanders or cameras, she felt confident, at ease, safe in his presence.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snuggling together in a big bed together, alone for the first time was stranger than expected. It was eerily quiet, she almost wanted to hear Noah’s deep rumbling snores. As annoying as they were, they had grown familiar. “Are we going to need a sound machine? I’ve gotten so used to the noise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could make some noise if you really want,” he suggested.  Even in the near dark, she could see him wiggling his eyebrows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not like th-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby interrupted with monstrous snoring sounds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess placed a hand over his mouth, desperate to stop him but unable to stop herself from breaking into hysterics. She moved on top of him while removing her hand, letting the tension linger as her fingers grazed across his lips.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They gazed at each other as she waited for him to close the distance, an electric current building between them. Jess lingered, enjoying how he felt beneath her - firm and warm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned forward, finally closing the gap. His lips left feathery kisses on her neck before his teeth met her skin, gently biting. “We can be as loud as we want here,” he whispered, his voice low and teasing, his breath glancing against her ear.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a challenge.” Jess sat up, straddling him on his upper thighs while pulling off her top and throwing it to the side of the bed. The bracing air hit her chest and she was quickly reminded of the spacious, open room. No islanders. No cameras. No audience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smirked to herself, feeling how hard Bobby already was as she positioned her hand at his waistband, drawing circles - her fingers tracing along his outline. He let out a moan, shifting, desperate for her to touch him, his hips bucking lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With her other hand, she moved to her own pants, drawing a moan from herself as she delicately drew her fingers against the sheer fabric.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby reached to touch himself but she pushed his hand away, moving on top of him. Her hand slipped below his waistband and drew his hard cock from his shorts, rubbing it against her wet pants. Feeling him throbbing against her, she sighed, grinding harder against him. Moving closer she bit his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess,” He moaned her name into her neck, his hot breath radiating on her skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stroking his thigh, she kissed him hard before pulling away. Looking down at his length, aching for her. He wanted her so badly. Had anyone ever wanted her more? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby rose, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucked gently. She felt him holding back, his tongue lingering on her but desiring so much more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed and reached for him, rubbing up his shaft before bending down to enclose her mouth around him. The sound of his moan made her ache more for him as she twirled her tongue against his cock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped, pulling her lips from him before shifting on top of her, pressing her back to the bed while kissing down her neck and parting her knees. Bobby drew his mouth down her body, leaving wet licks and gentle bites before finally settling between her thighs. “Hmmm, my favourite place to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave a coy smile before gifting her upper thigh with light, teasing kisses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She murmured as he moved closer. Every touch tantalizing, every glance electric against her quivering thighs.  Driving her crazy as she shifted towards him, encouraging him to touch her more, burning to feel his mouth against her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tongue lingered near her centre creating an ache threatening to destroy her. She shifted closer still, but he pulled away - continuing to tease her through her pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped as he blew, managing to drive her even crazier as the cool air sent shockwaves through her body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, when Jess thought she couldn’t take another moment, Bobby pulled her pants to the side and thrust his tongue against her. Jess quaked, writhing below him as she stifled a deep moan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His warmth pulled away and Bobby’s eyes met hers, sparkling with intensity. “Louder,” he encouraged before his mouth met her again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The next couple of days were full of fun and lots of sex. Taking the time to explore each other’s bodies, discovering their kinks, favourite spots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fell into a rhythm of Bobby preparing their meals.  He even made her soup when she mentioned how much she missed it. She told him about her parent’s death, and he shared details about the complicated relationship he had with his father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All things they wanted to share but not the rest of the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reluctantly put on a swimsuit, there was a pool and it was sweltering out, so they swam. Bobby set up a picnic on the lawn one day, but usually they dined under a covered patio. It was a much-needed vacation after their vacation. No pressure, just existing together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby fully embraced the privacy of the new location, spending most of the morning on the third day nude. His mostly flaccid cock bouncing in the air, making her howl with laughter as he tried to instigate serious talks about their future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me tell you about the arts, we’re close to Edinburgh and every yea-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby, you aren’t tricking me into moving to Glasgow like this. And cover-up. Do you really want to get a sunburn there? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you can help me with sunscreen… you have the best touch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grabbed his cock. “We should definitely do something with this thing. It’s so soft, I don’t like it like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Problem solved.”  He sighed, cocking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the night of their last episode arrived. Jess had resisted watching the others, not wanting to see herself on television, but she needed to know what happened. Who coupled up with who? Were Rohan and Jake officially together??</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily they found an English version of ITV. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you wealthy people with satellite dishes. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess softly cried watching Bobby over-hear her conversation with the girls, processing the information and coming to a decision. He talked with Jake and Lottie, asking for reassurances that he was making the right decision. That it was right for Jess. Somehow he never asked about if it was right for him.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned towards him, entwining his hands with her own. He had the most beautiful hands, lean and skilful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His certainty, how quickly he realized it was the right move for them, it made her love him more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the recoupling arrived, Jess stood up, walking circles around the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“J-bot, what’s wrong?” He side-eyed her, a teasing smile on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm just so anxious. Did Jake pick Rohan? Did Rohan pick Jake? What’s up with Priya and Lottie? Did Gary pick Lottie even after they broke up? Who got stuck with Erikah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lot of questions that will soon be answered,” He patted the spot on the couch next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Overdramatic music played as the girls lined up, taking their place in front of the men seated before them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s so weird seeing it like this. Not to toot my own horn, but I look very pretty there.” Jess gestured to herself as the camera scanned past her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised a brow. “Baby doll, you’re a serious knockout. I will always toot your horn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awww, you’re sweet.” She kissed him on the cheek, clutched his hand, and shook it excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched Bobby give his final speech, choosing to leave the villa as Jess stood there, looking gobsmacked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After she followed behind, the recoupling continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary’s phone went off next and he chose a giddy Cherry much to Lottie’s chagrin. The camera focused on her miserable pout, juxtaposed against an affectionate Gary and Cherry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi picked Chelsea, which they both seemed happy about. Jess still had doubts about whether they would last, but at least they were having fun together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie smiled politely as Seb chose her. There was something inherently forgettable about Seb, so nice, but with the personality of wallpaper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake stood next, Jess let out a pre-emptive gasp.  “I haven’t had the best of luck here but today I’m grateful for that because it’s led me to this moment. I’m choosing this person because they’re funny, incredibly sexy, charming. He’s my best friend and someone I see a future with. I would like to couple up with Rohan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood up and cheered, “Yes, fuck. Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I expect this level of enthusiasm later?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess glared at him, before breaking into a smile. “I’m just so happy for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say, you missed Rohan’s reaction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shoot, what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They just hugged and kissed, it was pretty adorable. We can watch it again at home, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those two. They make me so melty. Can you believe we get to go home tomorrow? We still need-” Jess frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby gestured towards the screen. “Ooh. Tim’s up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With three women standing before him, Tim looked uncertain, nervous even.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he doesn’t pick Erikah, I’m driving back and stabbing him with a fork,” Jess threatened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stayed silent, eyes curiously fixed on the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...the girl I want to couple up with… is Priya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you, Tim,” Jess called out, standing once again and holding two middle fingers towards the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stood as well, bunching up her hair in the back, trying to soothe her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could he do that to them?” Jess asked in furious disbelief, her hands balled into fists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby enveloped her from behind. “I get it, he didn’t want to couple up with Erikah. She’s basically Love Island poison, coupling up with her is the quickest way to get dumped.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, fair point. But still. If he had picked Erikah than Priya and Talia could have coupled up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There should be one more recoupling, maybe they’ll figure something out.” He kissed up her neck. He was so good at distracting her, all concerns about the recoupling evaporating by the touch of his lips on her skin. “Or just pull a Bessy move and leave the villa.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate our coupley nickname.” She stepped away, crossing her arms, pretending to be annoyed with him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll love it enough for the both of us,” he beamed at her. She never knew someone could look at her like that. It gave chills deep in her core. He really loved her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a smile, Jess turned back towards the tv. “It is rather satisfying watching Erikah standing there alone. That’s what you get, you backstabbing shrew!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always wondered, but I get it now.” Bobby gave a knowing mischievous look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you ended up here. On Love Island. Look at you, so fired up.” He looked so amused with her suffering, it was infuriating, but adorable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess emphatically gestured towards the screen “How could I not be, it’s our friends' lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s more than that. You love this show. The drama of it all,” he smirked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess exhaled deeply. “Maybe a little. But ugh. I’m so annoyed, I’m going to go fill up that giant bathtub with water and soak until I’m pruny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked towards the staircase to the upper level. “And you’re more than welcome to join me.” Jess removed her top leaving it at the bottom of the stairs. Turning back, she saw Bobby eagerly following her path, hideous blue and yellow chevron shirt already half unbuttoned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the door to the villa opened. Jess froze, drawing her hands over her bra as two figures entered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One in the midst of a clunky rap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I may have lost Love Island, but I gained a friend. A cook and a clown and a silly crane man,” Tim boisterously crooned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. SHUT UP.” Erikah groaned behind him, pushing herself past him. “When will you stop?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim shrugged. “What? I’m making the best of things. You should try it sometime. Maybe you wouldn’t have been dumped like a pile of garbage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you two here?” Jess asked, walking a few steps down, retrieving her shirt, quickly pulling it back over her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh.. we got dumped,” Tim said flatly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We figured, but we just watched the recoupling and you didn't couple up,” Bobby pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There was an audience vote for the most unpopular islanders, it turns out it was us,” Erikah said, her eyes glued to her feet. “I’m sorry for everything. I know I overreacted…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s an understatement,” Jess muttered under her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I got jealous and bitter, but it’s not who I am and I hope we can be friends after this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a nice idea, but I’d rather not.” Jess shifted towards Tim. “I’m surprised you were voted out, not Gary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priya and Talia must be popular, I think people might be pissed at me for picking Priya. I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>they </span>
  </em>
  <span>were. Never piss them off, I’ve never been more terrified.” His eyes grew wide and he shook his body feverishly to get his point across.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby stepped towards the dumped duo. “We were just heading off to bed, so we’ll leave you to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we wer-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shot her a look.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes, let’s go to bed, love.” She eagerly grabbed his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night night,” Tim cooed </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their voices were lower but could still be heard at the upper hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m finding a room, don’t even think about joining me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I wouldn’t dare to assume that princess Erikah would want any of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A full genuine laugh from Erikah echoed down the hall. Jess shrugged, continuing to their bedroom, now needing sexy bath time even more after having to deal with Erikah’s shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning they waited at the entrance. As much as she was excited about the future, it was terrifying. Going home, facing life after all your dirty laundry has been aired to the nation. Combining two lives into one. It was nerve-wracking, she would have to drive a car, pay her bills, buy groceries… all things that had been foreign concepts during life in the villa. A nervous feeling settled in her stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go say goodbye to Erikah and Tim?” Bobby asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I already caught Tim in the kitchen earlier. And Erikah.” Jess shook her head. “Not everyone needs to like me, and that’s ok.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something she would have to keep in mind. It’s ok if the coffee barista thinks she’s a slag. People may have watched their lives unfold for a month, but they didn’t really know any of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting into the jeep one last time, she felt a bittersweet twinge. They were normal citizens again, not islanders. They were headed to the airport home, the cell phones that had been confiscated upon arrival in Spain were returned to them. Swapped out for their villa cell phones. How strange it would be to look at her phone and see the correct time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess surveyed her phone as if it was a relic from another time. The number of notifications made her want to throw it in the pool and just get a new one.  Taking a glance at Bobby, his brow was furrowed scrolling through his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through the drive back to the airport Jess felt panicky, a nervous energy stabbing at her. They would be flying home separately. He to Glasgow and her to Leeds. It was a temporary separation but her heart ached. The thought of saying goodbye to him created a sinking feeling in her gut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After days of not formally having </span>
  <em>
    <span>the talk</span>
  </em>
  <span>, their last night before falling asleep, they worked it out- thankfully both mostly in sync. Laying in bed, space between them, they talked about where they saw things going and what steps to take and when. It was reassuring, knowing they were both on the same page, wanted similar things. The same future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plan was for her to pack up her flat and have her things moved to Glasgow. Jess insisted on separate places, wanting some independence after the villa. But it was happening. She needed to give notice to work and start the job search. Or see if she could work remotely, possibly in a different position. Conversations needed to happen with her boss, who had been so understanding letting her take time off. The guilt of abandoning her job was already nagging at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t completely set on living in Glasgow but knew it made sense to try. For Bobby. Especially since his sister was pregnant, she knew how much he couldn’t wait to meet his niece or nephew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby walked Jess to her gate, her flight was leaving an hour before his. Holding hands, Bobby smiled sadly at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t look at me like that. We’re going to see each other next week,” She reached a hand up to his cheek, softly caressing it, thinking about how much she would miss his face, his freckles, the sound of his laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That feels like such a long time, it’s basically a quarter of our relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you put it like that…'' Jess pulled him in for a kiss, wrapping her hand around his neck, not wanting to ever break away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat together, chatting about the dumbest things, laughing, savouring these last moments together. Time did move differently in the villa, maybe a week in the real world wouldn’t be so long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, they were worth the wait.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Books ought to have good endings. How would this do: and they all settled down and lived together happily ever after?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Briiiing. Jess smiled at the familiar sound of her ringtone, knowing exactly who it was. She picked it up to see Bobby’s adoring face calling via facetime. She eagerly hit accept. </p><p>He lit up when she answered, a wide grin forming on his face.  “Sweetheart, I’ve missed you. How are things with the move?” </p><p>“Oh, you know, two more days, packing up a storm. Almost everything is ready to go, I can’t wait.” </p><p>“Ready to watch the show?” he asked, excitement bursting in his eyes. </p><p>“You know it.” Jess grabbed her bowl of crisps in one hand and walked Bobby on the phone towards her couch. She propped her phone facing her, a routine they had developed so they could watch Love Island together.  Soon they would be able to watch together in person, but until then they were making the best of the situation. </p><p>“Previously on love island….”</p><p>“The show seems less fun without us there,” Bobby said before taking a bite of a slice of pizza. </p><p>“Without you at least,” Jess added, raising her brow. Somehow she didn’t think she added much levity to the villa. Drama? Bucketsfull of the stuff. Less helpful on the comedy front. </p><p>“You were plenty entertaining pumpkin pie, always put a smile on my face. With you, me, and Tim gone, now there’s just Gary and a bunch of serious hunks there for entertainment. And Chelsea, she always makes me laugh.”</p><p>“They should have had Iain Stirling narrate the show at the villa,” Jess suggested. “Maybe I wouldn’t have left. Way more fun than laying on a daybed watching paint dry.”</p><p>“Oooof, look at Jess there, sitting on the couch, looking hot as fuck, stuffing her face with crisps,” Bobby said exaggerating his Scottish accent.</p><p>“I know you're joking but that is pretty sexy,” Jess giggled, wishing she could boop him on the cheek and cuddle up against him. </p><p>“I’ll try that next time in the bedroom.” He winked. “Oh baby, let me put my tadger in your fud.” He moved closer to the screen, a huge grin spread across his face, delighted with himself.  “I’ll rub my stauner against your chebs.”</p><p>“Stop, I can't handle this. Dying of laughter. Pease…” Jess quickly reached the part of extreme laughter where her chest hurt from the intensity, struggling to breathe and blinking back tears.</p><p>If he was there, she would have hit him with a pillow, she suspected it would be satisfying. It hadn’t been too long, but still, she missed him.  </p><p>“Ooooh, it’s challenge time.” Bobby abruptly pointed to the screen where the islanders were participating in a game of Couple Trouble in which they had to guess who was selected in certain categories by the votes of the viewing public.  </p><p>Predicting these were fun, especially since Jess had avoided the internet as much as possible since leaving. </p><p>“I see Clem,” Jess shouted as a ginger puff moved past the screen. So far, she had only gotten glimpses of Bobby’s cat who was avoiding her owner, punishing him for abandoning her for Love Island. </p><p>“Wooot,” Jess cheered enthusiastically as Jake and Rohan were voted cutest couple and stayed silent when Levi and Chelsea were chosen most likely to be just friends out of the villa. Neither answer was probably wrong but it felt icky to speculate on their future, she wanted the best for Chelsea… and good things for Levi. But Chelsea was her priority, she hoped he would be good for her. Chelsea deserved nothing but happiness. </p><p>Single ladies Priya and Talia hosted the challenge, but looked so adorably coupley Jess came close to melting into a gooey pile on her couch. Bobby mocked Gary’s attempts to impress Cherry, surprisingly his new partner wasn’t put off by him mentioning his nan every twenty seconds. They actually seemed to be clicking, much to Lottie’s frustration as she consistently snapped at or ignored Seb. </p><p>Bobby and Jess fell into easy conversation, talking through most of the show, laughing at the silliness, reminiscing over times at the villa. Until something towards the end of the show made them both want to return and talk some sense into Lottie. </p><p>Gary had asked to talk with her and she went up with him to the terrace. Alarm signals immediately went off in Jess’s head.</p><p>
  <em> Don’t do it, Lottie.  </em>
</p><p>Gary gave her his patented cheeky smile and moved closer, running his hand down her arm. Lottie followed his lead, beginning to close the gap between them. </p><p>“Oh, no. No. No. No. No. Lottie, what are you doing? Stay away. Do not grab his thigh. Do not kiss his face. Definitely don’t do <em> that </em> . Gary, stop this. STOP!. So much for Gary’s <em> I can’t wait for us and our Nan’s to get tea together </em> bullshit. Poor Cherry. Stooooop,” she moaned, her head slowly drifting towards her hands in her lap as things escalated between Gary and Lottie.</p><p>“What a couple of idiots,” Bobby said, sounding as disappointed as Jess was angry.</p><p>“I know.” Jess filled her cheeks with air, quickly releasing with a pop. She turned off the tv, throwing the remote to the other end of the couch.</p><p>They stayed on facetime together through the evening, running through their nighttime routines, seeing how they lived their lives apart. Soon, she would be there. They wouldn’t be living together, but she would get to be in a space that was inherently his. Experience life in the real world together. </p><p>She wasn’t totally opposed to living with him, but moving into his place felt like a step too soon.  A vision of them combining their spaces into a place that was just theirs lingered happily in her mind. It felt just out of reach, but what was the hurry? They would be there soon enough. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Boopy baby, can you grab my beer?” Jess called to Bobby as she sat on his couch unable to move because Clem had situated herself on her lap, gently kneading at her legs. </p><p>It had been a few days since she’d moved into her flat.  Moving all her stuff from Leeds to Glasgow was an expensive choice, but it soothed her, having her things. Her furniture and art. Making the huge change, she clung to any sense of familiarity. </p><p>Being surrounded by so many truly bonkers accents was an illuminating experience. Bobby was downright posh in comparison to some retailers in the local shops.</p><p>They had begun swapping, meeting at his one night and hers the next. Jess had insisted on this but already wanted to break the rules and stay at his place more often.  Clem had taken to her immediately, shocking Bobby as his beloved crabster was particularly grumpy with new people. Jess scratched Clem under her chin, happy to be there. Time at her apartment was time she didn’t get to spend with her favourite feline. </p><p>It helped that she liked Bobby’s place, it was so perfectly him. Small, but open. A well organized, stocked kitchen with open shelving. The rest of his home was less regimented, not messy but busy. Filled with bright art, tiny kitchy knick-knacks lining the shelves. Quirky things that she wanted the backstories of. His walls were painted a dark green with brick lining one. It was cozy and yet fun. Perfectly Bobby. </p><p>Sitting on his light grey microfiber couch, the television on mute while Cardi B played in the background, gently petting his cat while he finished up on dinner, it was everything she had dreamed of, everything that she hadn’t known she needed.  </p><p>Bobby brought over her beer and one of his own. “Five more minutes and then we eat.” They clinked their glasses together, and Jess took a long sip, letting the cool drink linger on her tongue. She found herself pausing to savour so many little moments, trying to hold on to them in her head, keep them as memories, ones not recorded, shared with the rest of the world. Experiences that only belonged to them.  </p><p>After dinner, they returned to the couch to watch that evening’s episode of Love Island.  It had become a new routine, one with an expiration date as they drew closer to the finale. Tonight was the final recoupling, everyone would be paired up into their final matches. But first, each couple would have to face the Lie Detector challenge.</p><p>“Terrifying,” Jess said quietly.</p><p>“What would you ask me if you were still there?” he asked with a curious smirk. </p><p>Jess took a moment to think, her mind drawing a blank. “I don’t know, it’s tough, anything actually important I would want to ask you in private. Not put you on the spot. I trust you, to be honest, I don’t think I’d want to test you.”</p><p>“You’re sweeter than a bag of sugar sometimes.” He placed his arm around hers, kissing the side of her head. </p><p>“Only sometimes?” She gasped.  “What about me? What would you want to ask?” She rubbed his arm, stroking it gently, reassuringly. </p><p>“Would you still love me if my dick fell off?”</p><p>Jess snorted in laughter and tapped him on the chest, grinning stupidly before turning her attention back to the television. </p><p>-----</p><p>“Do you still have feelings for Gary?” Jen asked a nervous-looking Lottie, who answered quietly…”No.” </p><p>The red light alert popped up. LIE.</p><p>“Has anything happened with Lottie since we coupled up?”  Gary shifted in his seat at the questions, the hesitant, worried expression on his face giving the truth away. “Yes.” The green light indicating he had indeed told the truth lit up as Cherry huffed away from the viewing room.</p><p>“Are you ready to commit to Talia?” Levi read a question from Talia to Priya, who despite not being officially coupled up were being treated as a couple for the purposes of the game.  </p><p>“Yes,” Priya said confidently. </p><p>LIE.</p><p>Talia’s shoulders slumped looking deflated at the result. </p><p>“Do you see a future with Jake?” Chelsea read from a card.  </p><p>Rohan smiled. “Of course, I can’t see a future without him.” </p><p>TRUTH</p><p>“Are you still into Jess?” Priya stared down Levi. </p><p>“No.”</p><p> The light turned red as Chelsea's face shifted into a nervous state. </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>“Poor Chelsea,” Jess said. “I don’t think he even is, he clearly fancies her. I think he’s nervous.”</p><p>“Keep telling yourself that,” Bobby said with a sceptical look.</p><p>“What Levi and I had, I don’t think it was important for either of us, just sexual attraction. Maybe he wanted it to be more. I think it was more about him wanting it to feel like it was worth it, not a mistake he had to feel guilty about if it was meant to be.” Jess shrugged. “Levi will be fine. He just needs to get out of his own head about it.”</p><p>The fallout to the lie detector varied from couple to couple. Chelsea and Levi made up and snogged. Jake and Rohan basked in their new relationship glow, lounging together on a daybed. Priya and Talia avoided each other.  Cherry and Gary argued while Lottie and Seb had an awkward breakup on the terrace.</p><p>Before long it was time for the recoupling. Jess grasped Bobby’s hand, giving it an excited squeeze. </p><p>It was a girls’ choice. Lottie was the first to stand, giving a speech about following her gut and acknowledging her mistakes. Of course, she chose to couple up with Gary. It was what she wanted, what she always wanted. It felt like a train that had run off the tracks by Gary’s indifference but it was where Lottie wanted to be. He lit up at her words, rambling about how happy he was she chose him and platitudes about being better.</p><p>Jess rolled her eyes. </p><p>Bobby laughed, “Maybe he will be? Stranger things have happened.” </p><p>
  <em> I suppose… </em>
</p><p>Chelsea picked Levi, Cherry picked Seb. In the end, it came down to Priya to choose.</p><p>“Choose Talia, you beautiful messy goddess,” Jess yelled, leaning forward towards the screen. </p><p>Priya stood there in a floor-length silver dress, biting her lip, playing the role of a conflicted ingenue. Her actions and expressions seemed more manufactured on camera than in real life. The ability to edit and play music somehow shifted how she was perceived. </p><p>“I have trouble doing this, committing. Saying I want to be with this person. But I do-” She paused, turning to face Talia, reaching for her hand.“-want to be with this person. It scares me how much I want to be with them and how afraid I am of losing them. I love you Talia and you’re the only person I want to couple up with.”</p><p>Blinking back tears, Talia pulled Priya into a hug to the cheers of the other islanders. Jess cried happily, leaning against Bobby, enjoying this moment of watching their friends officially couple up.  She had found Bobby and was grateful for it, but there was something uniquely satisfying watching her friends discover that feeling as well. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It meant a lot having her own space, she had lived with a romantic partner or roommate since she was eighteen. She and Paul had split only three months before Love Island. And before arriving in Spain, she spent most of her time in Africa, travelling for work, enjoying the excuse to not be at home, alone and unhappy.</p><p>As much as she loved Bobby, she needed this relationship to be different. They had rushed every other element of their relationship due to the high intensity of romance in the villa, but she wanted to savour the steps ahead of them. </p><p>Living alone, having her me-time, it was cleansing after the chaos of villa life. She found herself playing music, watching shows more, appreciating noise more than ever. She had never been insanely into music but living without it had created a whole new appreciation. But her music, not the techno crap they played in the villa.</p><p>Jess loved Bobby’s place, but it was his. His style. Hers was lighter, brass elements and blue accents filled the space, along with many plants she had picked up locally. She hadn’t painted the new place-  not intending to stay there long, so the walls were neutral cream, but the place still felt like her.  Prints lined the walls, photos she had taken on work trips. </p><p>Most nights they still spent together, swapping evenings at the other’s place. She introduced Bobby to a few books that he may like and after sex they would spend time reading together before falling asleep. Waking up limbs tangled, touching, she would count his freckles, watching his slow breathing, enjoy the quiet of the morning, sometimes surprising him with her mouth. </p><p>Every day, their routine felt more like real life than a walking dream. He showed her pictures of him in heavy eyeliner, chains, and leather from his Paisley Cuddle days. She made him watch her favourite programs, wanting to share everything from the important to the mundane with him. </p><p>Jess walked through her home, appreciating that it was hers. A place of solace, where she could be completely her, free of judgement from anyone except herself. And sometimes Bobby. But his judgemental jests were always intended with good humour. </p><p>She cleaned off the counters, a few crumbs still remained from earlier and Bobby would be there any moment. It was her day to host their Love Island night, and she knew he would lovingly mock her if her kitchen wasn’t immaculate.</p><p>She heard the unmistakable sound of a key moving through her lock, the door opening soon after.  Jess rushed to greet him, wrapping her arms around his neck and crashing her lips against his. Feeling something hard against his chest she pulled away.  “What is that?” </p><p>Jess stepped away, eyes drawn to the object in Bobby’s hands -a plastic doll with soft curly brown hair and light brown skin tone.</p><p>“Surprise. It’s baby day, I thought we could play along. Without the diaper thing. This one doesn’t wee. I think” He looked at the doll as if he was expecting an answer. </p><p>“You are the silliest.” She pecked him on the lips </p><p>“Mmmm And you love it. What should we name him?”</p><p>“Is it a boy or a girl?” she asked.</p><p>Bobby pulled down the baby's trousers. “I don’t think it has a gender. More of a Ken doll look.” </p><p>“How about Chip?”</p><p>“Chip, I like that.”</p><p>“Good, maybe you’ll like these too.” Jess moved over to the kitchen and pointed to a platter of chocolate chip cookies she had made earlier.</p><p>“You baked?”</p><p>“I bake. You aren’t the only person in the world who can do it, you know?’ Jess deftly snatched the doll from Bobby’s hands. “Hello Chip. I’m your mother, and I love you very much. Way more than your Daddy.”</p><p>“Do not tell our child  such lies.” He gasped, stroking the plastic doll’s head. </p><p>“His cupcakes aren’t even that good,” Jess said in a low voice to the baby’s ear, giggling at Bobby’s indignant face. </p><p>“If we were in my home I would kick you out for saying that.”</p><p>“It’s a good thing we’re at mine. Now, get naked,” she instructed, pointing to the bedroom. “I ordered pizza. We have forty minutes.”</p><p>“But Chip? Our child. What kind of parents will be if we abandon them to have sex?”</p><p>“Pretty lousy ones I suppose.” Jess grabbed the baby from Bobby’s arms and set it down on the couch gently. “Sleep well, Daddy needs to fuck Mommy now. I hope you understand.”</p><p>Jess shot Bobby a look. A look that said, <em> why aren’t you naked yet </em>and walked towards the bedroom.</p><p>When the show aired, Chip sat lifelessly between them as they ate cookies and laughed.  It was an entertaining hour of television as they collapsed in hysterics over Chelsea breaking her doll five seconds after it was placed in her arms and trying to fix it with tape. Cherry dropping her baby in the pool and not realizing it until an hour later also was a cause of amusement. </p><p>Gary and Lottie both took it surprisingly seriously, very in sync, making Jess second guess her dire predictions for their relationships. Talia and Priya unenthusiastically but responsibly cared for their baby, while Rohan and Jake coddled and cared for their baby in a way that was heart-wrenchingly adorable. Noah and Jen blew everyone away with the quality of their fake baby care, earning themselves a night in the hideaway. The couple looked nervous but happy- Noah and Jen seemed right for each other, maybe things had worked out for the best for everyone?</p><p>“How many kids do you want?” Bobby suddenly asked as Jess muted the television during the commercial break.</p><p>Jess chuckled completely unsurprised, having expected the conversation to take this direction the moment Bobby stopped by with a goddamn baby. “I used to say three, but I dunno. At least one? Two would be good. Three might be nice.”</p><p>“I want so many kids. At least three,” he grinned at her.</p><p>“Good luck with that, Bobby baby.” She patted his lower belly. </p><p>“With you,” he corrected. “Although, if I could give birth for you I would.”</p><p>Jess laughed, picturing Bobby full term like that horrendously terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.  “You really would, wouldn't you?  You’re so soft for me, it’s pretty cute.”</p><p>“Guess you'll have to keep me around.”</p><p>“I suppose so. Someone has to have all those babies you want.”  Running her finger down his cheek, she booped him on the nose with her other hand, always trying to surprise him, relishing in her successes.</p><p>Bobby shook his head with an amused smile. “However many we have, they'll be lucky to have us as parents.  Look at how well we cared for Chip here.” He gestured to the lifeless object between them.</p><p>“Other than twenty minutes ago, when you failed a trick shot and he fell on his head?”</p><p>“Aye, except for that.”</p><p>They hadn’t done much with their child, but it had been a fun experience. Not quite as in-depth as the challenges the islanders faced, but it was sweet of Bobby to get a baby and help them feel included. She knew Bobby at times wished he was still there. Sometimes he looked nostalgic while watching, sometimes she did too. But he would never tell her he regretted it and she knew he didn’t. Not really. It was only a passing shadow, little moments, where they both missed villa life and their friends. </p><p>It was hard not to dwell on the future, where she saw their life together going. She glanced over at Bobby, knowing it didn’t matter. </p><p>Her lips shifted into a tiny smile. “As long as I can remember, I’ve always had to plan every detail of my life. Going to Love Island was the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done and even that I agonized over for a month before sending in an application. I want to be better at not knowing exactly where my life is heading. It’s ok if we don’t get married and have babies according to my schedule.”</p><p>“What’s your schedule?”</p><p>Jess bowed her head, a little embarrassed to admit before meeting his eyes again. The way he looked at her, she knew she could trust him with anything.  “Two years of dating. One year of marriage. Baby number one. Two-year gap. Baby number two. Two-year gap. Baby number three. I’ve known it’s what I wanted since I was fifteen. But it’s not what I <em> really </em> wanted, I never considered who I wanted to do those things with. And now that I’ve found you, those things don’t matter quite so much. They <em> do </em>, but the when? Not as much. I can handle anything with you. Whatever our future is.”</p><p>“Do you want some cheese with that cheese?” he teased. </p><p>“Shut up.” She whacked him in the chest. Turning back to the television, it was time for a dumping. Unsurprisingly, it was non-couple Cherry and Seb who got the boot.</p><p>She couldn’t help but sympathize with them, both leaving, never having found a stable pairing, used and cheated on by Gary and Lottie respectively. It had to sting.</p><p>Cuddled up on the couch with Bobby, she hoped they would find that kind of love.  </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Walking up the steps to Bobby’s flat, she felt a flutter of excitement. Every time she drew closer to his flat, that feeling returned. Her heart beat faster, eager to see him, she walked faster, like a magnet was pulling her towards him. </p><p>She approached his door, rummaging through her purse until she found her keys. Opening the door, she called his name…. “Bobby...Boop King….”</p><p>There was no answer but Clem scurried towards her, rubbing against her leg affectionately. “Hey, Clem, where’s our person?”</p><p>The cat offered no reply. </p><p>Jess plopped down on his couch, laying flat so Clem could comfortably rest on her chest. Ten minutes later, Bobby arrived home with grocery supplies, rambly and apologetic about being stuck at the store. </p><p>“I saw something today on the internet, apparently tonight is family day on the island, everyone’s family members are visiting the final couples.”</p><p>“Oh.” Jess stood, her stomach sinking at the thought of watching happy families reuniting.  “I might not…-”</p><p>Bobby quickly walked towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I hope it’s ok but I invited my family over to watch it with us.” </p><p>Jess didn’t know why, but that put her at ease. Her body relaxing, the urge to run subsiding. “You did?”</p><p>“Aye, just picked up things to prepare dinner.”</p><p>“Who's coming over?”</p><p>“My sister Ava, her husband and my Mum. My step-dad is working tonight.”</p><p>“Ok,” Jess smiled. “That sounds nice.” She looked at her outfit, she had dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a sleeveless black blouse. “Do I look ok? Meet the family ok?”</p><p>“You always look more than ok.”  Bobby winked before moving to the kitchen to unload his bag of food. </p><p>“What are you making?” </p><p>“What <em> aren’t </em>I making?” he answered as ingredients piled up on the counter. </p><p>“Tell me about your family. Anything I should know?” Jess nervously fidgeted, settling down at the barstool in the kitchen. </p><p>“My sister, Ava, she's great, you’ll love her. She’s basically the lady version of me. Except for more mature, smarter, less klutzy, and super pregnant.”</p><p>“It’s a good thing she’s taken then, she sounds perfect for me… If only,” she trailed off, giving Bobby a teasing smile.  </p><p>“Very funny. Her husband Bill…. he’s a good guy, a little obsessed with mayo. Thinks arguing dumb shit is a personality trait. I don’t get it, but he makes her happy.”  He shrugged.</p><p>“And your Mum? Any hints? I don’t want her to hate me.” She bit her lip, averting his eyes. </p><p>“She never could hate you,” Bobby answered, reassuringly. </p><p>“Are you sure? Have they watched the show?” Jess asked nervously, squeezing her hands together tightly.</p><p>Would they hold her villa mistakes against her? Not think she’s good enough for Bobby?</p><p>“I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. I love you and they will too.”  He reached her tense hands, entwining them with his own and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.</p><p>“I love you too,” she said as if it was the easiest thing in the world, the words flowing from her lips like they were the only truth she was certain of.</p><p>The night went smoothly, better than she could have hoped. It was a relief that they liked her, asking about her life, and sharing embarrassing stories about Bobby. They drank wine and enjoyed the spread of appetizers Bobby put together for the occasion.  It was nice, they treated her like family, and it meant everything to her.</p><p>Then, they watched the show together- Jess and Bobby sharing a large plush chair that sat adjacent to the couch that seated his family. </p><p>Gary’s nan burst into the villa to the excitement of all.  A petite woman with large glasses and short white curly hair, Jess was slightly surprised by her adorable look. It didn’t quite match what she had imagined through his depictions of a bombastic spirited woman. She expected her to be tall, broad, and aggressive but still kind.</p><p>The woman quickly proved to be more formidable than her small frame would imply, approaching Gary with a huge smile and immediately slapping him across the face. She proceeded to call him out for cheating on Lottie with Cherry…..and Cherry with Lottie.</p><p>As Gary made excuses, hemming and hawing about the technicalities of relationships in the villa and needing to follow his heart, she smacked him in the head. "Your heart's in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is. There’s certainly a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste."</p><p>Shaking her head, she waited for him to respond. </p><p>"Go ahead. They’re right over there,” she continued, gesturing towards the ladies watching the incident.  “Say it. I’m sorry, my name is Gary and I am an idiot."</p><p>Gary sighed, turning toward Lottie, “I’m sorry, my name is Gary and I am an idiot,” he said sheepishly, as he kicked at the ground and averted his eyes from one of the girls he hurt. </p><p>Soon after, she talked to him, gave him advice, her love for him evident through all his mistakes. She was sour and sweet all wrapped up in one tiny woman.  There could be a Gary’s Nan spin-off from Love Island and Jess knew she would love it. The cranky old bat had star potential.</p><p>She hit the islanders with backhanded compliments and dropped little truth bombs all over the villa, spilling the small secrets like Lottie stealing chips to feed a bird and bigger ones like Priya and Noah sneaking into the hideaway hot tub shortly before she went public with Talia. </p><p>Spending so much time with the islanders, it was interesting seeing their family and friends. Levi’s parents were strict and dull. Chelsea’s friends were clones of her in every way other than hair colour. One Brunette. One Redhead. Each as bubbly and quirky as Chelsea.</p><p>Noah’s brother and sister took to Jen immediately and Jen’s obnoxiously Tory parents loved him. They had quickly become a nauseating adorable pairing. It made her heart swell to see Noah so happy and comfortable with someone. It was what she had wanted for them, but they were two puzzle pieces that looked right but didn’t fit together after all.</p><p>Jake’s Mum and Dad doted on him sweetly and immediately liked Rohan. Rohan’s sister and seven-year-old niece adored Jake as well. Things were shaping up nicely for the couple and for their future. Jess had no doubts that they could make it. </p><p>Priya and Lottie both had friends visit. Lottie’s guy friends came all the way from Australia, teasing her mercilessly about her actions in the villa. Talia’s mother and father as well, a little skeptical about Priya, but polite to the girl their daughter fancied. It was exciting to see the combinations of people interact, spill tiny secrets, giving small insights to the islanders into how they were being perceived by the viewing audience. </p><p>Jess was still avoiding all social media, so far sparing herself from knowing what people thought of her. No one had recognized her on the streets of Glasgow, for which she was grateful. Someday, she would have to check her instagram and twitter. Return to a normal life. But while Love Island was still airing, she cocooned herself away, hiding from the knowledge.  It didn’t matter what a bunch of strangers thought about her, she knew that. But it was still a struggle to face it. </p><p>After Bobby’s family left, they laid together on the couch, cuddling with Clem, chatting about nonsense. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>The next night, each couple went on last dates, all tailored to each couple's dynamic.  Jess couldn't help but wonder what date they would have chosen for them. </p><p>A picnic on the beach?  A boat ride? </p><p>Nothing they could have chosen could have beat dinner at home, with Clem rubbing against her leg, begging for scraps. Music playing in the background. It was casual, simple, but her kind of perfect.</p><p>Lottie and Gary went for a yacht ride around the ocean. Gary apologized profusely for his actions in the villa, promising to be different, better for her in the future. Lottie raised a brow, looking skeptical but wanting to believe him so badly that she did. On the deck, they had left her tarot cards, ones that Lottie deemed adequate. She did a reading for Gary, insisting it would bring them together as a couple. Gary smirked, but not in a way that was mocking or mean spirited. It was like he enjoyed seeing Lottie so riled up, passionate about tarot, even if he thought it was bunk. </p><p>Noah and Jen had a five-course meal on a patio overlooking the ocean, it was a lovely spot. They chatted about everything from books to their families, finally falling into a deeply dull conversation about roman history. Jen seemed ditzy at times, as evident by the number of times she used ‘like’ in a conversation, but she was posh and highly educated. It was like her life of privilege had perfectly prepared her for the role of Noah’s ideal romantic partner. </p><p>Chelsea and Levi went on a water skiing adventure. They had a blast, laughing and playing together. It was nice, seeing Levi so happy and relaxed. Chelsea was happiness personified for him.  Jess expected to feel a tinge of jealousy but it never emerged. What he and Jess had was an intense sexual attraction, neither could have made the other as happy as their respective partners. She had escaped his dick sand and managed to find an even better dick, the dick for her. She would happily drown in Bobby’s dick sand.</p><p>
  <em> Ugh, I need to scrub my brain of all the cringey Love Island phrases I’ve picked up. Thank goodness, I never have to graft or crack on ever again.  </em>
</p><p>Jess smiled when the show cut to Jake and Rohan, their date on a floating raft in the ocean, to which they needed to drive a small boat. Jake carried Rohan to the boat, cackling as he did, dropping him into the water in the process. </p><p>They talked about their future, what they meant to the other with Jake asking Rohan to be his boyfriend. He was nervous, swallowing awkwardly, until he looked into Rohan’s eyes and his expression shifted into one of confidence. He was resolute, knowing it was right.</p><p>Jess grabbed Bobby's thigh, squeezing it tightly with excitement. It was the absolute highlight of the evening. Seeing how happy and comfortable they were together meant so much. Bobby was the best person she had ever known, but Jake was a close second, and she celebrated his happiness as if it was her own. In many ways, it was. </p><p>Priya and Talia had massages on the beach followed by a sunset cocktail in a cozy private space. </p><p>Jess and Priya had their moments, a healthy mix of the good and the very bad.  But the good outweighed the bad and Jess was happy for her and Talia. They were perfect together. Seeing them help each other out of their comfort zone was incredible and the couple had only grown closer since Jess and Bobby had said their farewells. </p><p>Priya and Talia talked about everything except their relationship, but in a way that felt organic. They weren’t delaying it, avoiding the difficult talk as much as basking in the moment, completely present, enraptured in the time together. </p><p>It wasn’t a surprise when they started kissing, and then a bit more in the midst of their date. Jess hadn't noticed in the villa, but they were always touching, needing to be close.  Thighs lightly touching, fingers lingering. Even before they were coupled up, always together.</p><p>All the final couples, so well suited, happy. It was heartening seeing the drama of the villa melt away in the midst of the joy she saw before her. </p><p>Each date had been elaborate and unique, a considerable upgrade from the cheap wine and low-quality snacks at the bistro set overlooking the island vista. </p><p>With Bobby beside her, she felt just as content. She wondered if the stabbing feelings of jealousy would come, wishing she was still in the villa, regretting that she wasn’t there being pampered. But all she felt was happiness for the others and for herself. </p><p>Looking at Bobby, his eyes crinkled as he scrunched up his face into a quirky smile. She laughed and shifted towards him, straddling him and pulling his dreads. She pressed her lips to his, not gently but with fire and passion. Grinding against his hard length made her ache, satisfied how quickly she could get him there. She suddenly pulled away, reaching for his hand and leading him to the bedroom. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jess went online. She hovered around the search button before finally clicking. The name <b>Jess Campbell</b> eliciting pages of results. She clicked a few articles, skimmed for her name, read a few posts on reddit about her antics in the villa. It wasn’t terrible. There were some insults (Slag, ugly, fat, boring, not good enough for Noah, not good enough for Bobby) but most of the articles and comments were complimentary, kind even. </p><p>In her head, she had built up anxiety about what people were saying.  Much of it was as bad as she presumed, but she knew that little of it was based on truth and it didn’t hurt as much as expected.</p><p>Next, she googled<b> Love Island</b>, clicking immediately on the news section. </p><p>On tonight's episode, the islanders were being thrown a Prom celebration. An idea popped in her head that she knew Bobby would love. She grabbed her keys and headed out, needing to purchase a few things before Bobby arrived. </p><p>They might not be at the Love Island prom, but she could bring a splash of the Love Island prom to them. </p><p>It was Jess’s turn to host so she decorated her flat for the occasion. The lights dimmed low, she lit candles, pulled out an old formal dress, and decorated with balloons and streamers.  She made a punch, using a large mixing bowl as a serving dish and put on a playlist of the cheesiest songs that she knew Bobby would love. She ordered pizza, not wanting anything too fancy and waited for him to arrive. </p><p>The dress she wore had been a bridesmaid’s dress for a former coworker’s wedding five years previously. Thankfully it still fit. It was a dark forest green, satin material, one-shoulder dress with a slit running down from the knee. Formal but a tiny bit sexy. Perfect for the occasion.</p><p>She paced the room barefoot, excited for him to arrive, knowing he was going to love the effort she had put in. It was the sort of thing he would do for her, and it was empowering to be able to do something nice for him.</p><p>The door opened and she froze before awkwardly trying to shift into a more seductive pose. Slipping slightly, she recovered. </p><p>Bobby’s eyes widened, looking excited, in awe at her. Wearing a black blazer with matching trousers and carrying a bouquet of flowers, he looked sexy as fuck. It made her happy that they were both so in sync. </p><p>“You look amazing,” he said looking her down with a self-satisfied smile. </p><p>He had this way of treating her attractiveness as a reflection of him like he was proud of himself. It was strange but cute. </p><p>“I would say the same thing about you. Those for me?” She gestured to the bouquet of blue gardenias, lilies, and thistle in his hand.</p><p>Bobby shook his head. “Aye, for the loveliest lady.” He placed them in her hands and she brought them to her nose, taking in the sweet fragrant scent before setting them on the counter. Perfect, it was a silly thing, but she appreciated that he knew her well enough to not bring her roses. </p><p>“I can’t believe you did this.” He cast his eyes around the room, taking it all in. “You’re the best.”</p><p>“You’re the best,” she corrected with a smile. Nothing made her happier than making him smile. It was the easiest, most satisfying thing in the world. </p><p>He picked up one the many silver and blue balloons and threw it towards her, bopping her right in the chest. She returned the favour and they quickly fell into a mini balloon fight. Only a few were scattered on the floor, so they each began removing them from the wall, quickly pulling off the tape and aiming for the other. </p><p>Falling exhausted onto the floor, Jess ran her hand over her dress, momentarily remembering that she had intended to be sexy that night. He collapsed next to her, leaning his head against hers.  </p><p>Jess told him what she had planned for the evening, the mundane and the sexy, and Bobby was giddy with excitement like a puppy… or Chelsea.  She poured them each a glass of punch, spiked of course with whiskey. They clinked their glasses together, giggling at the absurdity of it all.  “Happy Prom Day, Bobby.”</p><p>“Happy Prom Day, Jess.” </p><p>Taking a sip of their drinks, they exchanged a long meaningful look, waiting for the other to ask the question. Jess cocked her head, with a smirk, letting Bobby know it was up to him. He nodded in response, holding back a smile of his own. </p><p>“May I have this dance?” Bobby held out his hand as Norah Jones played softly in the background. </p><p>“You may.” She accepted, wrapping her arms around his neck, standing a measured distance away and shuffling side to side.</p><p>“Interesting dance style.” He raised a brow.</p><p>She grinned widely. “Isn’t this what the kids do at proms?” </p><p>“Maybe, but I’d rather do it our way.” He pulled her closer, until they were hip to hip, cheek to cheek. Swaying slightly to the sounds, enjoying the music together. Dancing with a partner was never something that she had felt comfortable with, but in Bobby’s arms, she felt safe and secure. </p><p>It was perfect, every moment they shared felt more special without the villa fishbowl vibe. It wasn’t until she left, until she realized she was constantly operating at a twenty-five percent additional stress level, she never truly forgot the cameras, and was always a tiny bit self-conscious. Her body and mind relaxed the second she was away from the villa, letting go of all the tension she didn’t know she was carrying. </p><p>Looking into his eyes, it felt so right, like she was exactly where she was always supposed to be. She was still a skeptic about love at first sight, soulmates, but it felt a little less unrealistic after falling for Bobby. Running her fingers through his hair she gently tugged at his locs. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For being here with me.”</p><p>“There’s no place I would rather be, lass.” His eyes widened in realization, his accidental return to a nickname they had cast aside.</p><p>“It’s fine,” she laughed. “It’s the best one, anyway.  You can call me lass again. But only me,” she said sternly. </p><p>“I promise, just you…. lass. I love you,” he murmured gently against her neck, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine. </p><p>“I love you,” she echoed, gliding together delicately as the song faded out.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, warmth spreading through her chest, appreciating how lucky she was. How lucky they both were.</p><p>They ate pizza at the dining room table, telling tales of their teenage years until it was time for the show to begin. Plopping down on the couch together, she leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips. She was eager to see what a love Island prom would look but doubted it could be as nice as the experience they shared tonight. At least for them.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It was the day, the Love Island finale. One couple would be declared the winner, having received the most votes from the home viewers.  Each would  receive an envelope, one labeled 0 pounds, the other 50,000 pounds. Whoever received the winning envelope would choose between splitting or stealing the 50,000 pounds. In the years of Love Island, no one had chosen to steal. Even when the couples deteriorated within a week of leaving the villa, they always lasted through the finale, happily sharing the money. For some, Jess suspected their motivations were not entirely altruistic, as it could hamper their post villa careers if they stole the money. 50,000 pounds was nothing compared to what they could earn in endorsements and lucrative job offers in television. </p><p>When she first arrived on Love Island, she always knew this is where she would be. Watching it at home from the comfort of her couch. She never expected to have a partner she loved sitting beside her watching their friends spend their last day in the villa.  </p><p>Noah and Jen had been dumped the previous day after prom, leaving the final couples as Chelsea &amp; Levi, Gary &amp; Lottie, Priya &amp; Talia, and Jake &amp; Rohan. </p><p>Chelsea surprised the group with a disastrous breakfast, which Jake quickly remedied by making scrambled eggs. It was adorable how hard she tried, and how little she knew about cooking. She somehow managed to burn or undercook every element of the meal. Bobby’s brow furrowed and he cringed, struggling to watch the sequence. Watching Chelsea fail so hard, he had secondhand cooking embarrassment, wanting to jump in and save her breakfast.</p><p>It was cute that he felt so passionate in the kitchen, he was serious and focused. One of the things she loved about Bobby was the many sides to his personality. More than anyone, he was never one thing. He could be the silliest, funniest person, super serious in the kitchen, insecure and vulnerable, cheeky and sexy. All those things wrapped up in one adorable baker boy. </p><p>Jess didn’t feel much suspense watching the show, all she felt was happiness for her friends making it to the end. Maybe not all finding love, but the possibility of love.</p><p>The way Levi found Chelseas’s quirks adorable and brought out a new side of him. He was still quiet, but almost always held his lips into a tiny smile, endlessly amused by the silly things she did, basking in her joy. They strangely balanced each other. </p><p>Gary and Lottie had something, she couldn't quite see it lasting, but they were stuck on each other in a way that they needed to see through. For reasons Jess didn’t understand Lottie loved Gary. LOVED HIM. And Gary? It was hard to tell. He fancied her, called her out on her bullshit, mocked her Wiccan interests but always with affection. </p><p>Tonight was a live show with the existing islander’s friends and family in attendance. Each of the couples were interviewed by a rarely seen host that only appeared for the premiere and finale. Jess had never met her, having been the bombshell introduced later in the evening on the first day. How that word still affected her. She began her time at the villa with a label that never quite fit her. It had been too much, and she never quite let go of the pressure to be more spectacular than she was throughout her time in the villa. </p><p>Curvy, snarky bombshell Elladine interviewed the final couples, suspensefully drawing out their interactions asking the sort of easy questions that would be posed to them at the Beach hut.  The couples sat at the firepit in front of the huge crowd. Jess felt secondhand anxiety, seeing so many people in the villa. Her villa. Except it wasn’t anymore. It never really was. </p><p>They recapped the season, making Jess emotional as Bobby held her hand, reassuring her as she watched her mistakes and view how they were seen by the public. Her secret tryst with Levi, all the longing looks Bobby sent her way that she ignored, how poorly she treated Noah when they were coupled up. She hadn’t even realized how cold she had been, how forced her affections had been.</p><p>The way she used Lucas, attacked Priya… she had been awful at times in the villa. She hoped she was better but was she? </p><p>It was something she would probably always wonder about, but there was little she could do but try. Jess and Bobby were featured prominently in the season montage, despite their exit from the villa.  </p><p>Eventually, the time came to announce the winners. Jess bounced with anticipation, her heart racing and mouth dry. She always found the Love Island finales exciting but this was next level thrilling. Being so invested, she couldn’t wait for them to reveal who won. She had cast her vote for Jake and Rohan, crossing her fingers for them to be announced as winners. </p><p>“In fourth place,” Elladine dramatically paused before continuing is “Gary and Lottie.”</p><p>They smiled politely, each looking disappointed but not surprised to be ranked last.</p><p>Next up in third place was Chelsea and Levi. She squealed in excitement jumping into Levi’s arms straddling him. </p><p>It was then down to Priya &amp; Talia or Jake &amp; Rohan. Jess resisted the urge to jump up and pace the room, her nerves were shot as the exhilaration shot through her. </p><p>“And your Love Island winner is…..”</p><p>Jess held her breath, awaiting the result. She loved both couples and each couple deserved to win, but only one could. In her gut, she knew who should win. Who she was rooting for. </p><p>The long-lingering, agonizing silence… there was a dramatic pause, and then there was whatever the hell Elladine was doing.</p><p>“Just say it,” Jess called out in a huff as Bobby laughed beside her.</p><p>“Jake and Rohan!!”</p><p>Jess cheered, excitedly standing up and jumping up and down. </p><p>Bobby stood as well and she pulled him in for a kiss, her tongue running along his lower lip. He parted his lips, letting their tongues meet. He ran his fingers through her hair, tugging exactly the way she liked. Pulling away, she gazed at him, no matter how often she saw them, those amber eyes never failed to mesmerize her. He was so goddamn beautiful, his slight dimple on his chin, his plush lips and easy-going smiles, the perfectly placed freckles on his cheeks and nose.  And inside, he was the best, kindest, most loving person she had ever known. How could someone be so hot and wonderful? She had found herself a beautiful unicorn of a man. A man who loved her as much as she loved him.  </p><p>“What was that for?” he asked, a little out of breath. </p><p>“For being ok that it’s not us up there.”</p><p>“I’m more than ok. Nothing means more to me than this.” Bobby held her hand and pulled it to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers.</p><p>“Now, you each have a choice to make-” </p><p>They returned their gaze to the television, sitting back down.  Jess leaned her head against his shoulder, blinking back happy tears watching her friends. She rested her hand on Bobby’s warm thigh, drawing shapes instinctively, it had become a soothing habit for them both. </p><p>It wasn’t surprising when Rohan chose to split the money with Jake, but it melted her heart all the same. </p><p>The audience cheered as Rohan and Jake kissed and the show ended. Jess hadn’t expected to feel so sad that the show was over. Watching them from home, she still got to see her friends, feel a part of their lives. But now, when would she see them next? Her heart ached realizing how far apart they all lived. And leaving the show early, it meant she might not be included in any post villa reunions.</p><p>She wistfully looked towards the screen, for a moment wishing she was there with her friends..</p><p>“When everyone gets back, we’ll have to organize a big party. Get the gang back together,” he said, running his fingers through her hair, soothing her as he always did. </p><p>How did he always know the perfect thing to say? He always seemed to know what she needed, even when she didn’t. </p><p>“I would like that,” she smiled, looking over at him, filled with all the love and adoration, wondering how someone so amazing could exist.</p><p>Bobby flipped off the televisions and set the remote on the coffee table in front of them. </p><p>“What do we do tomorrow?” Jess chuckled, “I feel like Love Island consumed our lives even after leaving.”</p><p>Bobby toyed with her fingers, running his hands playfully against them. “I had some thoughts about this. How about a Lord of the Rings marathon?”</p><p>“Extended versions?” She widened her eyes questioningly.</p><p>He laughed. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”</p><p>“Oooh, we should make food. Lembas bread. Po-tay-toe soup. Apples.”</p><p>“Make apples?”</p><p>“Well no but we should have them. We can throw them to each other. I promise not to bonk you on the head.”</p><p>He cupped her face in his hands, drawing her towards him until their foreheads touched. She shut  her eyes, enjoying the closeness. </p><p>“Sounds perfect, lass.”</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. over grass and over stone, and under mountains in the moon</h2></a>
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  <b>things you said at the kitchen table</b>
  
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  <span>Jess sat tapping her finger on the kitchen table, starving and anxiously awaiting the dinner Bobby had promised to have ready an hour ago. It was charming really, how much he valued precision and the quality of his meal, but she hadn’t eaten lunch and dinner was running far later than she had hoped.</span>
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  <span>Clem jumped into her lap. She scratched her head, taking a wistful glance at her phone. If she ordered pizza, there was a chance it might be there before whatever absurdity Bobby was working on. </span>
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  <span>Bobby muttered to himself from the kitchen, closing the oven door with a huff. </span>
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  <span>“Everything ok?” she called, irritated knowing it wasn’t.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “No,” he sighed, tossing a thermometer onto the counter.  “I think my oven broke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noooooo,” Jess moaned. “Dinner. My dinner. And your oven. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I’ll call tomorrow about getting it fixed. But dinner.” He plopped down onto the chair next to her, his head falling in frustration onto his crossed arms on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, we can order in. Or head over-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby looked up at her and shook his head, a guilty expression on his face. “It’s just… I made lasagna. It’s your favourite. I feel like a right eejit. Tonight...” he trailed off. “I spent so much time today, I wanted to do something nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess took his hand bringing it to her lips, “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” he barked out a laugh. “ Letting you starve at my kitchen table?  I can see it in your face, you’re miserable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chuckled, running her hand down his cheek. “Thank you for knowing me well enough to know how cranky I get when I’m hungry and for remembering my favourite meal even though I only told you once when I was a sobbing mess. It’s rather sweet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed him on the forehead, pulling away only to cradle his head in her hands. “Let’s pull the lasagna and make room in the icebox. We can try again after the oven’s fixed.. We can grab sandwiches from Scoffers and come back here for your favourite meal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My favourite meal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She winked. “Don’t even pretend it’s not me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised a brow and swallowed hard. “I mean…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve worked hard today, you deserve a taste.” Her gaze shifts to his lips, and as hungry as she was for food, she wanted this even more. His tongue, his soft lips on her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heavy lidded, she leaned forward, kissing him- messy and desperate, moaning as he returned her kiss. His tongue meeting her, her teeth grazing his lower lip, none of it coming close to satisfying the itch she now had.  She pulled away, her breath heavy, the air thick with anticipation.  “In fact I demand it.” She spread her legs and waited.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>things you said through your teeth</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jess always hated Valentine’s Day. Somehow she knew Bobby would love it. He was someone who would jump at the excuse to go all out, make an event out of something minor including a pointless holiday people everywhere were expected to go wild for. It was nothing truly special, just another day. Not tied to any romantic element of their life.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had rambled to him about how Valentine’s Day was so commercial, why would anyone celebrate it? He nodded along, occasionally offering defences about how couples in love sharing it together across the world made it more special, that they should embrace the romantic spirit.    </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last thing she wanted to do was dress up and go out for a fancy, overpriced dinner. Tables crammed closely together, forced romantic sentiments abound. But she wanted to make him happy, so she painted her lips red, bought the slinkiest red dress she could find, and trudged ever so reluctantly to his flat. She hoped whatever he had planned wouldn’t be too outlandish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess knocked out a warning before reaching for the knob, finding the door unlocked. Because of course, it was. She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face, preparing for whatever it was that she would be greeted with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her brow furrowed at the sight in front of her. Bobby sprawled out on the couch, the television on, a commercial playing in the background. She moved closer, utterly confused by the sight. He was wearing a ratty old Paisley Cuddle shirt from his punk days and jeans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned looking down at her dress, now feeling silly and overdressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hesitantly, she approached, unsure of what to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lass, you’re here,” he greeted looking up at her with a wide smile. “You look nice tonight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just assumed…” She paused. “I thought you would plan something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled. “Aye, I know, so I decided to surprise you and not plan anything. That was what you wanted, right? You seemed pretty adamant about how dumb Valentine’s day is....” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” she looked down, annoyed with herself about how disappointed she was.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we could just watch tv, order pizza. Have a chill night. You ok? You don’t seem like you’re ok with that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. What was wrong with her? He planned exactly what she said she wanted and it still wasn’t right. The annoying realization sank in. She wanted him to surprise her with something big and romantic that she would pretend to hate but secretly love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wrong,” she gritted her teeth, mumbling out the words reluctantly. “I want to do something…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” he smirked, holding his hand to his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really going to make me say it again?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rolled her eyes turning away, this was ridiculous. Heading home was looking more appealing every moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby jumped up off the couch, reaching for her hand. “Don’t worry, lass. I was prepared for you to change your mind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head. “I hate you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe you,” he shot back, heading to his bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going? You’re infuriating, you know that, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby turned back, an annoying glint in his eye, the kind he always had when he knew something she didn’t. “I know, I also know how much you love that about me.” He winked. “You coming?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed, following him into his room. Her heart warmed at what she saw. Rose petals on the bed. Tea light candles lit throughout the room. A bouquet of flowers, heart-shaped box of chocolates, and a small stuffed black cat on his dresser. A bistro table with chairs sat in the corner similar to the one at the villa. The standard vista view Love Island date spot. A bottle of champagne chilled next to tumbler glasses and covered plates containing a mystery meal filled the tablespace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was cheesy as fuck, but perfectly Bobby and she loved it. Her eyes were glassy, taking it all in. How much effort he had put in on the off-chance that it was what she wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said we never had a date in the villa. But we did. I just wasn’t on your radar at the time. But you were on mine.” He placed his finger to her lip. Running it down to her neck.  “Just give me five minutes to change. We can’t have you be the only one here dressed to kill.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers trailed down his chest, “you have five minutes to get undressed, but I have a feeling you won’t need that long…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy Valentine’s Day, lass,” he whispered against her neck.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy Valentine’s Day, Bobs,” she returned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe with Bobby by her side, this dumb commercialized holiday wasn’t so bad after all.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>things you didn’t say at all</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Would you want to maybe move in together?</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was it so hard to ask? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had pushed for separate places, it was what she wanted. That space apart, time for her to figure out what she wanted from life, stand on her own two feet. But months had passed. She had figured out what she wanted from life, stood on her own feet. Now, she wanted them to figure things out together, take that next step.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had dropped hints. Her lease was coming up, it was a pain lugging things from hers to his and back every other day... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat together on her couch watching a movie, the recent addition to her flat, a cat named Sméagol laying on her lap. She scratched the kitten under his chin and he lifted his head encouragingly, leaning into her touch. Bobby’s arm wrapped around her, nuzzled against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that would make it better was if he didn’t need to ever leave and there was another floof on the couch. Clem and Smeagol had met, slowly, carefully. It hadn’t been a disaster. But still. How would they handle living together? The biggest concern about melding their households… what if their cats freaked out? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes were fixed to the screen, only halfway-watching Keanu Reeves murder several people in quick succession, furiously executing his revenge for the death of his adorable pup. Her mind was fixed on the man sitting next to her and their future.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would make it work, they had to. But it broke her heart a little bit, the fear that Smeagol and Clem wouldn’t be best friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had lived with men before and Bobby in the villa. Why did it scare her so much? There wasn’t anything else she wasn’t able to talk to him about. But this. The words stayed lodged in her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tonight would be the night, she was finally going to ask him. After weeks of agonizing, it was time. She kneaded her hands together, anxiety rolling in her stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would say yes, of course, he would. She just needed to force the question out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Theon Greyjoy had been defeated, justice restored as the film ended, Bobby turned off the television, tossing the remote gently back onto the coffee table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned towards her, pushing a strand of hair away from her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. Captivated by his soft expression, the love she always saw in his amber eyes, she froze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would you want to maybe move in together?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you want to get married?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled, all the tension leaving her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would like that.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. The biggest adventure is what lies ahead.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Waking up in Bobby’s bed, leaning against him, savouring the warm touch of his skin- it made each day special. They were still basking in that post villa glow, snogging at every chance, cuddling up on the couch, soaking up every moment.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This morning, she reached for him only to find a cold open space. Emptiness where he typically laid, no shoulder to lay gentle kisses upon, no sound of warm breathing to soothe her awake. She looked towards the clock. 7:05 am, early but not unusually so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was their first weekend together after unexpectedly getting engaged. Bobby had groaned almost directly after, bemoaning that it wasn’t how he had wanted it to happen, that he was overtaken by the moment,  wishing it had been more special, chatting her ear off listing the better ideas he had already concocted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had smiled and nodded, knowing nothing could have been more perfect than how he asked. It was simple and special to her. But Bobby, he was a showman, and he lamented that he hadn’t put on a show, dazzling her with an elaborate proposal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head remembering how he had adorably ranted about it that night. She slipped out of bed, eager for coffee and to get a start on the day. The distinctive smell was calling her from the kitchen.  Petting a sleeping Clem at the foot of the bed, she put on her robe and went to find her fiancé. It was a nice word. Today, fiancé. Ultimately, her husband.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby was in the kitchen, because of course he was. He lit up when he noticed her, before spinning her excitedly. It made her warm inside, the way he looked at her- happy, captivated, so much in love.  Nothing in the world was more satisfying than putting that smile on his face. He was naked, except for his apron, his glorious bum for only her to see. Today’s apron said ‘cake it till you make it’.  Bobby had an apron for every meal and mood, owning more aprons than she had dresses. And she owned a fair amount. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a grin, she approached him, wrapping her arms around him and laying her chin against his back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, sweetheart,” she murmured into his ear, kissing him on the cheek before moving away in search of coffee. She reached for a mug, the one she had gotten from Chelsea, adorned with a pug face and the words ‘I pug you’ and poured from the french press that Bobby had already prepared. He was always so thoughtful, a fresh batch made just for her, his own cupcake mug half empty beside it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been up?” she asked, before taking a welcome sip of her coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, a few hours. I had a project I needed to work on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” She nodded. “Tell me more, what kind of project, my love?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The best kind. Let’s sit.” He gestured to the kitchen table and they both moved to sit down, Jess cradling her coffee mug as Bobby tapped his fingers on the table. Jess let go of her coffee, reaching for his hands, entwining them with her own. She smiled warmly, encouragingly and he nodded gratefully, smiling in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, squeezing her hand. “Yesterday, I realized that I never shared with you a story that you asked. In the villa, before we got together. You asked me how I got into baking and I deflected.” He chuckled, looking away, as if lost in the memory. “Here it is. When I was young, I found this old cooking book in the library filled with these bizarre victorian recipes. I’m talking blocks of meat, towers of coloured jelly, cakes with all sorts of surprises baked into them. It was crazy. All because the richer Victorians liked to put on a show with their food at fancy dinners. As I grew up, I became obsessed with tracking more of these recipes down. I even tried to make a few. Don’t get me wrong they were all awful to eat. But it showed me that food didn’t have to be dull or functional. It’s the reason I put a little flair into everything I bake. Why settle for boring?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby that story is so completely you, I can’t even stand it. Sometimes I can’t believe you're real, like a strange dream come to life.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,”  he said questioningly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ran a finger down his cheek. “It’s a good thing, I promise. I can’t believe I thought I could settle for boring,” she chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice burn on Noah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess jabbed him in the arm. “Thank you for finally telling me this.” She reached for his hand drawing it to her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s not the surprise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There's a surprise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby shook his head with a laugh. “Of course there’s a surprise. I’ll be right back, close your eyes,” he instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously. I promise it’s worth it.”  His eyes flickered, a familiar mischievous look fixed on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smiled, placing her hands over her eyes, she peaked through, catching Bobby shaming her, pointing a finger with his patented smirk on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the way, lass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiine,” she moaned reluctantly, covering her eyes while trying to hide a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later, she heard something placed on the dining room table in front of her and Bobby sit back down beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, you can open them,” he announced cheerfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess popped her hands away from her face, widening her eyes at the sight in front of her. It was a cake, at least three tiers, covered in blue frosting with small floral accents on the top and side. “Where were you hiding this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s your question?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes. “Ok. Why a cake? Is this breakfast?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why indeed?” he teased, drawing out the question with a smug look plastered on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The realization hit her and she immediately felt foolish for not seeing it before. “Did you seriously put my engagement ring inside a cake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you expect anything else from me?”  His eyes gleamed with excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose not,” Jess laughed, reaching towards the cake, digging her hand in and bringing a massive bite to her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lass, what the hell? I worked so hard,” he snickered, clearly not as upset as his words indicated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shrugged, slamming the sweet treat into her mouth, closing her eyes, loudly savouring the taste. “Mmmmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fork babe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now, I gotta find a ring,” she mumbled happily, before swallowing her first bite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw his head back in laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised a brow and looked towards him expectantly. “You gonna help me with this, or am I going to have to eat this whole cake by myself?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As much as I would love to see that, as your fiancé, it is now my duty to help you whenever I can, including taking down a giant cake to rescue your ring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and eat.” She scooted her chair closer to his and kissed him on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby grinned, diving into the cake with enthusiasm.  “I’m glad I didn’t go with chocolate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just wait till you see me in my face mask.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no,” Bobby giggled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He booped her nose with a frosting-covered finger, and she did the same before running her hand across his face and down his neck, leaving him a vibrant shade of blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really want to play that game?” He raised a brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely, but not till after we find my treasure.” She returned focus to the cake that was calling to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bite after bite, they ate. Bobby taking his time, Jess excitedly shoveling cake into her mouth. Bubbling with joy and anticipation, her palms almost sweaty from nervous excited energy. But she continued on, filling her mouth, anxious for her reward but unwilling to cheat and rush to finding the ring. Stubbornly, she knew how she wanted to find it-  devouring the cake he had so carefully crafted with fervor, sharing this weird moment together. A warm, happy thought popped into her head, someday we’ll tell our kids this story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cake was great, like everything Bobby made. Light and airy, sweet but not too sweet. Every once in a while, she appreciated how damn tasty it was. But couldn’t let it distract from her mission. The cake rapidly disappeared, their pace slowing as bellies filled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My stomach is so full,” Jess moaned, clutching her stomach. “How are we not there yet? Where did you hide it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cake had been picked at, not more than one-third disappeared. Bobby’s once beautiful cake had become a monstrosity, destroyed by their efforts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby groaned in agreement, poking once more at the cake. “Ahhh,” Bobby squealed before placing a hand over his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood, looking to where Bobby’s hand had emerged from the cake, spotting the top of a black ring box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes turned glassy at the sight. How in the world did she find someone who would go through all this effort to make their engagement special in a way that was so perfectly them?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How did she meet this person on a dumb reality tv show? What were the chances? She was so damn lucky, it was hard to not feel grateful every day for him and their life together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you crying, lass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Jess answered, laughing as her eyes brimmed with tears. “Why are you so sweet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re asking me that? Jess, you’re literally the sweetest person I know. You think you’re salty, but you… you’re literally made of sugar.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess threw herself into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him deeply, wanting nothing but to cherish this moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby pulled away, “you going to… you know…?” He gestured expectantly with his head towards the cake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sighed dramatically, “I suppose so, time to find out what kind of taste you have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby gasped. “I have the best taste, just look at the gorgeous lass I landed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head, but smiled giddily. She shifted towards the cake, staying in Bobby’s lap as he rested his head on her shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached into the cake, pulling out the ring box. It was placed on the far right side of the cake, in the second layer. Bobby had cut out a section, slipped the ring box in and decorated around it, placing part of the missing cake back in to hide it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was insane that he got up so early to put this all together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held the box in her hand, nervous but excited to see what Bobby had chosen, what he thought she would like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded and he took the box, palming it in his hand. He pulled it closer, exhaled deeply and popped it open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess couldn’t contain a small gasp as she took it in. Unique and beautiful, and yet simple. It was like he captured her essence in ring form. Golden twigs criss-crossing against small stones, a larger stone centered in the middle.  It was perfect, he was perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s….I love it,” Jess choked out. Wiping the tears forming, ruining what should be a romantic moment with her over-emotional state. It was classic her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his thumb, he delicately wiped away the tears she had shed. Jess let out a laugh, releasing the tension she’d been holding in. Bobby had already technically proposed, casually on the sofa after watching a dumb action movie. But this, an elaborately designed spectacle orchestrated by Bobby but simply in their kitchen made it all feel real. They were getting married!  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby pulled her hands towards his, weaving them together. “Jess, you are everything to me. Beautiful, inside and out. Funny, smart. I could go on and on. And on, and on,” he chuckled nervously, his eyes remaining focused on her “I love you more than I thought possible. I don't know how I ever got lucky enough that you love me even a smidge as much as I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. In every way.” He wiggled his eyebrows seductively. “And when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously Bobby?” She tried not to, but couldn’t keep her lips from shifting into a curl, amused by his speech’s direction.  They had just watched When Harry Met Sally’ a few nights ago. Jess had begun introducing him to her favourite films. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s amber eyes glistened, as he animatedly continued. “You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head. It’s a Wonderful Life</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smirked, undeterred. “I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bobby,” Jess lowered her voice. “Shut up.” She pressed her hand over his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tongue wriggled against her lips making her snicker and lose grip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you and I love you. Marry me?” he wiggled his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, yes. Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned, looking overwhelmed with excitement like a giddy fool, and slipped the ring on her finger. His hand trembled slightly, of course, he was nervous, making jokes even in a moment like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was classic Bobby, another thing she loved about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you already asked me right? And I said yes,” Jess pointed out, examining her ring and how right it looked on her finger, revelling in the way it sparkled against the sunlight peeking in from the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  He looked down, pausing momentarily, “but I wanted it to be me… more…” His eyes met hers and she melted at his expression- love, genuine adoration, a touch of vulnerability, a tiny bit of desperation but also trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kissed him softly, reaching for the cake, giggling against his lips as she ran her hand up the side of the cake, covering it in frosting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled, pulling away from him before delicately bringing her hand to his face, smooshing it against him as he called out, “Noooooooo,” theatrically over-reacting to his plight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Suddenly, she let out a booming laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Do I have frosting on my face or something?” He shifted his head back and forth, covered in blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that. I just realized… what you’re wearing….. or not wearing” She pulled on his apron strap, having remembered he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to be prepared, in case after all that romance, you wanted some of this.” He gestured down with a wink, causing her to laugh louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling so much her cheeks almost hurt, roaring laughter filling the space. If there was such a thing as a perfect moment, this was it. Engulfed by happiness, covered in blue frosting and cake crumbs, drowning in their love for each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Had she ever felt happier? Would she again? Maybe not, but as she booped his face with frosting, and he chuckled against her neck, she knew there would be many more happy days ahead of them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After finally cleaning themselves up- as frosting and cake bits had managed to get everywhere, they shared a shower and began the calls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby began with his mother, chatting her ear off for twenty minutes before calling his sister. Jess didn’t have any family to notify, but after Love Island, she had friends. So she called Chelsea, Lottie, and Priya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Each were excited, joining her in celebrating, offering well wishes and congratulations.  By the time she was done, Bobby was still on call with his sister, rambling about the cake he had made. It was adorable, how animated he was, how much this meant to him. He had wanted to wait until getting her ring before telling family and friends. Wanted a good story to tell everyone, share in the joy together. Make them feel a tiny bit as happy as they were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess settled in next to him on the sofa, laying her head against her shoulder as she picked up her phone. Checking her socials, scrolling through instagram taking in the happy faces, beautiful architecture, delicious-looking food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby said his farewells to his sister and disconnected, turning his focus towards Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, good idea, lass.” He turned on the camera on his phone, holding it towards them, a wide grin on his face as he leaned his head against hers. Jess held up her ring, smiling happily. They took a few and then proceeded to argue over which was the best for their favourite for the official instagram announcement photo. Unable to decide, they posted three. The first- Jess gesturing to the ring, the second- him kissing the side of her face, her eyes closed, laughter and joy filling her expression, and the last- the moment after a kiss, smiles, foreheads touching, looking enchanted with each other. It was all sickeningly sweet, and she loved it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched a few likes roll in, already so many congratulations offered, before tossing their phones away, vowing not to pay attention now that it was out. Instead, they would enjoy the day together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of wedding do you want to have? Big? Small? Medium? Elope? City Hall? A beach somewhere.” Bobby paced the room, listing off ideas, unable to decide what he wanted. Extreme overstimulation had taken hold, there were too many options.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess grabbed his hand. “Let’s leave the wedding planning for tomorrow. I would rather move on to a different kind of celebrating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, what do you have in mind?” He raised a brow. “Sexy celebrating?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The best kind, of course.”  She bounced up and down before remembering the moment. Jess put on her best smoulder, placing her leg on the side of the couch, arching her back. “This doing it for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always, lass.” Bobby chuckled, stepping forward, his mouth meeting her neck with tantalizing, soft kisses. His hot breath sent shivers down her spine while his hands clumsily pawed at her shirt, drawing her in closer. He smelled amazing, as he always did. Somehow both sweet and savoury, god how she loved it. Jess pulled his face to hers, kissing his lips, deepening it and moving him closer. She adjusted herself to the edge of the sofa, straddling his legs with hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d gone through these actions so many times, yet it never failed to shock her how quickly she’d feel him throbbing against her. How badly he wanted her. And as always, the feeling was mutual. She ached at the thought of him, needing more, craving his touch and his tongue. So quickly they’d become experts in knowing just how to please each other. How to touch, to tease, to make the other beg for more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, it felt new and amazing every time. She knew Bobby loved it - always putting in the extra effort, never satisfied until she was pulling at his locs, screaming his name, grinding against him as she climaxed, losing control against his mouth. And there was nothing she loved more than letting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby suddenly pulled away, his lips glistening, his eyes wild and feverish with desire. She loved how much he wanted her, craved her. She could have drowned simply looking into his wanting eyes as he took her hand, lifting her and guiding her to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was simple, dim - but it was theirs. Their space and every moment they spent in it felt special after their time at the villa. Bobby turned to her at the front of the bed and Jess leapt at his lips, ready to attack. No longer content with simple grinding and pawing over the clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pushed him back, climbing on top. Jess tore her shirt off quickly, moving her face back to his. Kissing him, biting his lip before their tongues met. She moaned his name against his mouth, inhaling his scent. Her legs straddling him, her skirt hiked, she sunk into him, pressing her already wet pants against the bulge below her. Needing him, craving for him to touch her more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if knowing exactly what she was thinking, Bobby rolled her over, landing on top. He kissed down her neck, squeezing her nipple through her bra as he settled his face between her breasts. His breath was hot, gasps ragged against her skin. Bobby held her tightly, kissing along the edges of her bra, teasing and enticing. She felt him losing himself in the rhythm, becoming more erratic as his need for her grew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess wrapped her fingers around his head, drawing him to her lips. She knew, felt how badly he wanted her. Knew exactly what he wanted, but sometimes liked to make him wait, drawing his tongue into her mouth, anticipating how it would feel against her in only moments. Bobby gasped against her, his waist pressed between her legs, shuddering. He slid his mouth from hers, gliding it just below her ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he whispered, his voice crackling against her skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess arched her head back, smiling as she gently entwined her fingers in his locs. She felt Bobby’s own smirk against her neck as she tightened her grip, pulling his hair, pushing his face down her body. She could never help but peek at his smile, so smug and self-satisfied, not that she minded one bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His chin tickled her stomach as she pushed his face lower. She controlled his speed, guiding him to leave soft kisses over her skin. Building her own anticipation, and his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At last with a jerk, she pressed his face between her thighs. They moaned together, both finally exactly where they wanted to be. His warm breath on her, gasping against her pants. She drew her legs to his cheeks, wrapping her thighs around his head. His mouth met her over the fabric, the slightest distance separating her from his warm tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess squirmed as he murmured against her, his soft kisses sending flutters through her legs. God she needed him. Jess dropped a hand from Bobby’s hair and moved it to her waistband, sliding it under and to the side, giving him the gift she knew he wanted most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He purred into her. Soft and loving, finally content in his favourite place. Quickening his pace, his tongue effortlessly slid through her folds - she could feel his need through the movement, struggling to find purchase - wanted to fully envelop her in his warmth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a groan, Jess arched her back and tightened the grip of her thighs and hand. She wrenched at his hair, drawing a satisfied whimper. Her legs burned as fire ignited in her core. Flames licked at her cheeks, the world pressed in around her. Warm, slick, and pulsing. He always knew exactly where to be, how to touch her. Exactly how to make her come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bucked against his face, uncontrollable shivers poured over her body. The bed rocked as Bobby ground against the mattress as she fucked his face. He loved it so much, and she loved him for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to fuck me,” Jess gasped into darkness, her teeth clenched together as she held back from fully melting against Bobby’s mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gripped his hair again, tugging aggressively to bring his face to hers. His voice rumbled against her as he drew his mouth up her body, whispers of sweet, unknowable nonsense leaving slick kisses against her skin. Nails sunk into muscle as their lips touched, a hot fury igniting while their tongues cascaded over one another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised her knees, pulling Bobby in closer. He gasped as her hand shot between their thighs, tugging off her pants before grabbing his length to guide him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way he felt entering her, it would never be mundane. Never be anything but perfect, euphoric bliss. It couldn’t - because he was perfect, they were perfect. Bolts streaked through her vision, blurry from the feeling of his steady pulse. He snaked his arms behind her back, pulling her closer, holding her, bucking against her as she pressed into him, their stunted breathing falling into rhythm as they entwined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every touch, every embrace was so perfect, so gentle. But right now, with a lifetime of love ahead of them, she wanted anything but.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a growl, Jess clutched Bobby’s shoulders and forced him downward, slamming his back to the bed - pressing in, taking every bit of him as she clawed into his chest, hissing through her teeth. He bucked his hips under her, intense and erratic, the heat building between them. She could feel him yearning, aching to come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby clenched his eyes shut, his jaw tense, lips shining slick. Skin pulled tight in silent agony as she edged him closer and closer with her rhythmic movements. He inhaled deeply, so close, but not yet. Jess abruptly stopped, sliding her hand to his open mouth, covering it, hot breath pressing past her palm. His eyes opened in surprise, she met them with her own intense glare, stern and unyielding. He quivered below her. “Hold on,” she growled before sliding a finger into his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped against her palm as she rose from him, his wet length left resting against her ass. With her hand still pressed to his mouth, she pushed in her finger, gliding it against the silky slick tongue. Jess moved higher on his body, hovering just over his face, her thighs near his ears. Bobby’s eyes were wide, yearning. He sucked her finger deeper into his mouth, moaning against her palm as she lowered onto him, resting her centre on the back of her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How bad do you want this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby murmured happily against her, his eyes narrow with need as his hips bucked into the air, his tongue swirling around her finger - making her ache for that feeling against her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slid her hand from him, letting her wet fingers drift across his lips before she lowered onto his eager mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way his lips met her - the tension, the love, the unbridled need flowing through his tongue into her. It was bliss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moaning against her, hands clutching her ass - Bobby shuddered, his tongue exploring her, opening her, delighting in her every volatile movement. Through quivering whimpers, she reached behind her back, her fingers quickly finding Bobby’s still slick cock. She gripped him tightly, feeling him pulse in her fingers. A hot, violent throb radiating through her hand, through his body, her centre, his mouth, threatening to tear them both apart as they quaked together. Bodies connected, she clenched her eyes shut, her teeth locked, overwhelmed as fire danced behind her lids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His feet rose and fell, slamming against the mattress. His body jerked beneath her, thrashing as their mutual bliss built. Taking and giving, together burning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking down, seeing him. His eyes met hers. Staring into her. She felt his smirk, saw the glinting sparkle in his eyes. The tension in her stomach grew as she pressed hard, grinding against his smiling mouth. His tongue coiled and lapped against her clit, any hesitation falling away as he devoured her - groaning in ecstasy, fucking her hand, drinking her in - time standing still in their perfect connection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was unbearable, the way the pressure built. On the edge, her hand dropped from his length. Both hands bound through his hair, pulling furiously. Clawing, clenching - pulling his face, his lips, his tongue harder against her. Jess buckled over, screaming into lightning-streaked emptiness. A torrent of pleasure coiling and amplifying within her core, flooding through her limbs and chest - coming against his lips as Bobby’s hands gripped her thighs, shuddering, gasping below her. A sharp, beautiful pain as he dug in, wet heat igniting against her back, dripping down her backside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess closed her eyes. Her breath was there, she only needed to find it. But not yet. Now, she would linger, resting against Bobby’s lips. Just relish in his smiling, soft kisses as the shudders faded and the real world fell back to focus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She exhaled against him, “Can you believe we’re going to do that the rest of our lives?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t imagine wanting to do anything else the rest of my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled, kissing him on his forehead, stretching her legs. Reluctantly she got up, heading to the bathroom for a towel. Cleaning herself off, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, flushed and messy looking, but satisfied. Content. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her phone beeped in the distance. Still sitting on the kitchen table, she ran for it, a smile spreading across when she saw its contents. She returned to the bedroom, Bobby laying in bed, still spread eagle, ready in action for round number two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed at the sight, almost mesmerized by his cock, like it was watching her, following her from anywhere in the room. “Bobby, put that thing away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just for a moment, I’ll do more with it after this.” She pointed to her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby pulled the duvet over himself, letting it fall just above his waist. “What’s happening, lass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chelsea just messaged me, she wants to put together a reunion.” Jess bounced excitedly, eyes wide and enthusiastic, making sure he knew exactly how excited she was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby showed little reaction to the news, looking more confused than anything.  “That doesn’t seem too big of a deal, we saw her a month ago. I love Chels, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess interrupted, waving a hand out towards him. “No, it’s more than that. She talked the producers into throwing a huge reunion party for our season. It’ll air right before the new season drops. So four months from now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ok with that? It being televised I know you haven’t loved all the attention ....,” he trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but it’ll be worth it to see our friends. Besides, no one pays that much attention to me when you’re around.” She twirled her hair around a finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that’s not true.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess walked closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Babes, people love you more than me, it’s fine and I prefer it that way. I don’t love the spotlight, but if the past few months are as bad as it gets, then fine. I’m focusing on the good parts. We get to see our friends again.  It’ll be so much fun catching up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, I can’t wait to catch up with  Allegra. Wonder what she's up to. Maybe we can get our nails done and chat about all the good times we had in the villa,” he suggested gleefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You joke, but I kinda miss Allegra, she wasn’t all bad.” Jess paused, with a chuckle.  “Just 65% bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, so we’re going. Definitely going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Jess nodded emphatically, jumping onto the bed landing flat on her face next to Bobby. She shifted her head facing him. “Now, let me see that knob of yours.” Jess gestured to the place under the duvet hiding little Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might need to help him. All that talk about Allegra scared him away,” Bobby pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I can manage that,”  Jess said rolling on top of him, beginning to grind on him, enjoying the sensation of him growing harder beneath her. Fuck, he always felt so good, was this something she could ever get bored with?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Probably? At times it was likely inevitable, but what better person would she want to have in her life? For the boring, sexy, dull exciting life moments.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Four months later, it felt like so much had changed- Bobby and Jess had moved in together into a new flat, combining their lives into one. Jess had taken Seb up on his earlier offer to take one of his kittens. She and Bobby had driven four hours to Liverpool and immediately fell for a tiny black floofball they named Sméagol. Thankfully, a slow, careful introduction of their cats had worked well and they quickly became friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were set for a September wedding near Glasgow- a completely private affair at the Glamis House Gardens. The only people invited were Bobby’s immediate family, his friend Big Jonno, a couple of his mates from work, and their close Love Island friends. Priya &amp; Talia. Jake &amp; Rohan. Lottie, Chelsea, and their partners- which at the moment included Levi. How the hell had she reached the moment in her life where she had to invite a guy she regretfully fucked to her wedding? It was appropriately absurd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite it, she couldn’t wait to marry Bobby and become Jessica Collins-McKenzie. Nothing would really change, their lives were already entangled and they were completely committed to each other. It was just a piece of paper, but it was one she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Post villa, everyone had been too busy to get together after the finale unless living in close proximity.  She had seen some mini-reunions between islanders living in London posted on Instagram, but Jess and Bobby were isolated from everyone up in Glasgow. They facetimed often with Jake and Rohan but the only person they had seen in person was Chelsea, who had visited them in Glasgow and met up with Jess in Leeds a few times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby had started a baking show called </span>
  <em>
    <span>Boops with Bobby</span>
  </em>
  <span>, in which he walked people through his baking process in a way that was humorous and educational. It was a simple web series now, but Jess knew he could turn it into something much bigger if he wanted. Despite leaving before the end, Bobby was still the most popular islander from their season. He hired a manager soon after and began trying to find investors to open a bakery in Glasgow. It wasn’t official, but it looked to be inevitable. All the early talks had gone well, and Bobby’s star power had continued to rise with his baking show. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For all her fears about the fame, it hadn’t been that bad. People liked her but didn’t revere her the way they did Bobby. He was a superstar, and she was his somewhat famous fiancée. When he was around, people paid less attention to her. Bobby ate up the attention, without turning into an egomaniac. The situation was ideal for them both. Jess had stayed at her job but was working remotely, travelling just once a month to Leeds for a few days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clem had become an internet star, somehow becoming an important element of Bobby’s show. She relished the fame almost as much as Bobby, constantly jumping into camera view, enjoying the extra pets and cuddles he gave her. Sméagol preferred to stay out of the spotlight, hiding out on the couch while the camera was on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost one year after Rohan and Jake won Love Island and 50,000 pounds, the group were set to be reunited for a show. A chance for everyone to get together, of course, to be aired for all of the UK.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So eager to be reunited with everyone, Jess didn’t even mind that it would be filmed. She missed her friends that much. In-person hugs were worth the hassle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a warm summer day in London. The reunion was set up at a five-star hotel, but Bobby and Jess had booked a room a couple blocks over, hoping for a splash of privacy- especially considering the odds that the reunion location would be leaked to fans or tabloids. Wanting to avoid the attention was desirable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess was happy Bobby had been so understanding of her desire to stay out of the spotlight.  She had dyed her hair almost immediately after the finale to a darker brown, a close return to her former look. Her hair had grown longer, now falling just below her shoulders. Alone in public, she was rarely recognized, but when she was, she felt more comfortable than expected. Somehow, she had finally found her confidence post villa.  She didn’t love the attention, but she could handle it, it was fine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Travelling from Glasgow to London was still intimidating. They had a party tonight and would suffer through hours of interviews the following day. It would be exhausting, both emotionally and physically.  But still, worth it to see their friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding hands, Jess and Bobby walked into the Hotel Cafe Royal. Dressed up for the occasion, Jess had chosen a burgundy satin v-neck dress with a deep slit running up her thigh.  Her hair was curled loosely, falling delicately against her shoulders, she felt confident- beautiful even- especially with Bobby holding her hand.  He wore a navy-blue suit with a cream and blue floral button-up shirt underneath. A still very ‘Bobby’ look but formal and a bit classier. It was a particularly dashing look and she would relish undressing him later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t take her eyes off him, her lips curling into a smile, finding herself appreciating how charming and funny and fucking sexy he was.  The gleeful sparkle in his eyes, the vulnerable look he had when he was unsure or nervous, his cheeky smile, and the way he would wink at her when he did something dumb- she loved everything about him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” He asked with a smirk, noticing her gaze. “You look like you have a secret. The cat who ate the canary or whatever that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No secret, I just think you’re really cute.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped in their path, turning to look at her. “Aww, lass. That feeling is very mutual.” He ran his hand down her cheek, towards her neck, drawing shapes on her collarbone. A shiver went down her spine at his touch, the warmth of his skin on hers, always exhilarating. His amber eyes glimmered, he was always so beautiful, looking at her lovingly. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her on the lips, sweetly before bringing his forehead to hers. She smiled against him, savouring the moment of calm before the inevitable chaos of the evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled away, kissing him on the corner of his mouth. Her eyes moved from her intoxicatingly handsome fiancé landing on the large crystal chandelier hanging in the lobby. A shriek reverberated through the room coming from the other side of the entrance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“JESS! My favourite bra,” a voice called. Chelsea. Jess lit up at the sight of her friend and the two girls ran dramatically to each other, hugging tightly until Bobby stepped over, rubbing a hand on Jess’s shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bobby. Good to see you too,” the blonde chirped.  “You’re here early.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just wanted to scope it out, grab a drink at the bar,” Jess said, smiling warmly at her friend. “What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m in charge. I planned this whole party, remember? They wanted to hire someone but I said, oh no, if anyone is planning a post-reunion event, it’s this gal.” She pointed her thumb proudly towards her chest. Chelsea wasn’t close to being ready for a party, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, wearing a bright blue blouse and jeans.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess raised a brow, even more curious as to what to expect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna love it, I promise. But things aren’t ready yet. See you in an hour,” Chelsea called out before running down the hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That girl, she’s really something,” Bobby chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed.” Jess reached for Bobby’s hand and they left the lobby, heading for the hotel bar. Sleek, dark, a little sad and overpriced- they settled down at the far end of the bar. Glancing at the liquor bottles adjourning the wall, Jess considered her beverage of choice. Whatever she picked- gin, tequila, whisky...it would be smart to stick with the rest of the evening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps gin in honour of her bra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you drinking? It’s on me.” A voice came from behind her. Jess turned and immediately widened her eyes in surprise. “Lucas. Wow, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mouth dropped in a pained expression. “Just because I was there only three days means I don’t get to come to the party?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I just.” Jess stumbled over her words, looking to Bobby to help her out. He shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas laughed. “I know. My Dad owns the place, I was working with Chelsea and the show to help plan this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a challenge,” Jess pointed out. “Did she try to redecorate the place?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea. She wanted to re-wallpaper the ballroom. Had to stop her from bringing in sand. There wasn’t even a beach in the villa. My dad was...well… it was a good thing I was there. She’s charming and good at design, but truly some bonkers ideas. I had to tell her unicorns weren’t real. She looked broken.” Lucas shook his head in amused disbelief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like our Chels.” Jess grinned. She paused, bringing her palm to her face- struck with the realization that Bobby and Lucas had never met.“Oh, I’m sorry. Lucas this is my fiancé  Bobby. Bobby this is Lucas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pleasure to meet the guy I was pied off for.” Lucas reached out to shake Bobby’s hand. Bobby accepted and pulled him in for a hug, slapping Lucas on the back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say, how could you compete with this?” Bobby pulled away and held out his bicep, showcasing his best smoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas shook his head, an amused smirk on his face. “How long are you in town?” he directed towards Jess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Four days,” Jess quickly answered, as Bobby placed his arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas nodded. “Perfect, enough time for me to take you on that motorbike ride I promised.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I get a ride too?” Bobby asked, his eyes wide and bright with excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh. Sure.” Lucas answered, casting a look at his phone. He smiled to himself as if he had a secret, one that delighted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone in particular distracting you from our catch up?” Jess gave him a pointed smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas shook his head with a chuckle. “Oh, just my date. We’ve been seeing each other for a while now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congrats, Lucas. That’s great. How did you meet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh- we actually met-” Lucas’ attention shifted and he waved his hand to someone in his eye-line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess followed his gaze, catching sight of a blonde man with long hair approaching, hand waving excitedly. He approached the group, immediately pulling her into a warm enveloping hug. “Jess, so good to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey you,” she said, trying to remember the name of the man who was only in the villa for three short days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He broke away, turning towards Lucas, kissing him on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas looked from his partner to Bobby. “Bobby, this is Henrik. Henrik, Bobby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Henrik, that’s right!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you start dating right after the villa?” Jess asked after Bobby had greeted him, giving him a hug as well.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas shook his head. “No, we didn’t even spend that much time together there. I was….a little preoccupied with someone else.” He shot a pointed look towards Jess who smiled sheepishly in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> It was a relief how much the villa drama had fallen away in the light of real life. All that dumb villa drama, it never actually mattered. It was something she knew but often lost sight of while in the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas reached for Henrik’s, hand squeezing it affectionately. “I’d decided to go biking around the alps after the show. To clear my head and get away for a while. One day, I’m riding down this deserted little backcountry road, then all of a sudden this guy walks out of a bush in front of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was me,” Henrik squealed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe, dramatic tension. I was getting to that.” Lucas rolled his eyes as Henrik smirked beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry brother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me brother,” Lucas scolded as a smile tugged at his lips. “But yeah it was Henrik.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henrik smiled. “I'd decided to go climbing in the alps. After bumping into each other, we decided to do a road trip. I tried to teach Lucas how to climb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My bum’s still sore.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby barked out a laugh, and Jess scolded him, jabbing him in the stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From all the falling I  did,” Lucas corrected, glaring at a still giggling Bobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had an amazing time. And one thing led to another.” Henrik waggled his eyebrows excitedly placing an arm casually around Lucas.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Adorable.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They drank and chatted and slowly more islanders trickled in to start the party. Lucas and Henrik corralled everyone into the banquet hall to the relief of the bar’s other patrons. Each time a new person arrived, joyous shrieking occurred that seemed to irritate everyone not in their group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were led to the Pompadour Ballroom, and Jess almost let out a gasp taking in the event space set up for their dumb reunion. Mirrored panels with gilded frames lined the walls, and the stunning decorative ceiling featured elaborate romantic scenescapes as candelabras hung throughout. The room was ornate in a classic Louis XVI style but trendy blue lights bathed the golden room, adding a moodier vibe.  Glamour made tacky by a Love Island approved aesthetic. It somehow felt like the perfect atmosphere for their reunion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One would think they were hosting a wedding party for 20 guests rather than a reunion show for a cheesy reality tv show. A slightly elevated stage was set up against the wall, microphones and speakers prominent with a DJ organizing his gear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over at Bobby, who was beaming, taking it all in like a kid in the candy shop. His extroverted need to socialize was jazzed to have this event- so many people to talk to. Bobby looked like he didn’t know who he wanted to start with, already suffering from choice fatigue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Across the room, Jess spotted the unmistakable glare of Allegra. Features scrunched up in disgust, waving away an appetizer tray. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve almost missed that girl. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her belly was less flat than during her time in the villa, looking so pregnant that she may potentially go into labour mid-reunion party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jakub stood beside Allegra jabbering to Ibrahim and a woman with bright red hair, his fiancée or now wife presumably.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess scanned the room, getting a better look at the DJ, eyes growing wide as she realized that it was Kassam. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Was he working this?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked over to him unpacking microphones. “Kassam, so good to see you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sup?” he answered with a quick nod, making brief eye contact as he continued with his work.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s Kassam.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked at his gear once more, before continuing. “Are you working? Or here for the party? Or both?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kassam paused placing an aux cord on the table, “Mostly the first, Chelsea got it in her head that I had to DJ.” He shrugged. “So, I’m here. Can’t say it’s really my scene, but a gig’s a gig.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good to see you too.” Jess awkwardly shifted in her spot, forcing a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that, but I don’t know everyone here too well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded. “I get that-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> A high pitched squeal interrupted- a blonde and pink blur heading towards them. Chelsea appeared and grabbed a microphone, tapping on it a few times to get everyone’s attention. Jess scooted away from the stage area, finding her place beside her freckle-faced fiancé. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea was bathed in pink tulle, a sparkling ball gown that seemed to be wearing her. “Welcome to The Love Island reunion for the best cast in all the world. If you were in season three, please leave. You’re in the wrong building.”  She looked around, tapping her heel as if expecting people to leave. “We have a lot planned for you this evening. Plenty to nosh on and all the gin in the world.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas whispered in her ear. “Not just gin, apparently.” She looked to Lucas, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyhow, have fun. There’s karaoke happening in an hour, till then, let’s get our drink on.” She cheered, raising her glass to the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed beside Bobby as the rest of the group cheered for Chelsea. This was nice, seeing everyone. It was strange to see the ex-islanders dressed so formally- in flowing dresses rather than casual swimsuits or the nightclub attire they were encouraged to wear for evenings in the villa. She had missed the prom so this was a new, unique experience for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to sing with me, lass?” Bobby asked the moment the crowd had quieted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess chuckled. “How about "Piano Man"?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Bobby shook it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess threw out numerous other suggestions that Bobby shot down until she had to let out a laugh at his obstinance. “Fine, what do you want to do?” She finally asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh, let’s do that song from the Nicole Kidman movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please narrow it down, babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby bit his lip, looking deep in thought. “The one where she’s a high-end prostitute in Paris and she dies, Ewan McGregor’s devastated in the end. A sobbing mess. Possibly me too.” He made an overdramatic tearful face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “Moulin Rouge?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that's</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. Let’s do that song they sing together in the big elephant.” His amber eyes sparkled happily. Why was he so adorable? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elephant Love Medley?” She tried to hide the smile forming on her lips, delighted with Bobby’s choice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the one.” He nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for his hands, bringing them to her lips. “Bobby, I love you and would love to sing that song with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed her on the forehead, pulling her close against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. “Can I do the Nicole Kidman part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess thought about it for a moment. “No, that’s the fun part, I want that one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby grumbled, “you’re lucky you're so pretty and sweet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I know, very very lucky.” She kissed the nape of his neck and moved her lips up, teasing him with a bite on his ear.  “Do you feel like getting lucky tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess I tend to get lucky almost every night with you. What could you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and meet me at the loo in ten.” She moved her hand to his bum, giving it a light tap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby nodded offering a salute. “We are at your service.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess winked and turned away heading into the crowd of familiar faces.  First, she saw Erikah rolling her eyes as Tim rapped beside her greeting Jake and Rohan. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are they together? Why?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The only person here she wasn’t eager to reconnect with was Erikah- her goal for the evening was to have fun and avoid the petite terror at all costs.  She hightailed her way over to the far end of the large banquet hall where the bar was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess ordered and eagerly accepted a gin and tonic, tipping the bartender and then moving onto the mostly empty dance floor, taking a sip as she headed for Chelsea and Priya bouncing along to a Paramore song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies,” Jess called out as she approached the girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhhhhhh, it’s Jess!” Chelsea squealed jumping up and down. “Priya, it’s Jess!” Chelsea gestured over to Jess as Priya stood there amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I literally saw you an hour ago, Chels. And a few weeks ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but still. You’re here. It’s exciting. I was worried you wouldn’t come because you know, you and Bobby left early and all that. I thought you might be the only one not to turn up. I know you said you would come. But you also said you were going to stay in the villa so who knows with you. but I miss you and I’m so glad you’re here-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chels, girl, take a breath please,” Priya interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to agree with Priya. But I missed you too.” Jess pulled Chelsea into a tight hug. They danced for a bit until Jess realized it was time to find Bobby for some party bits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go to the loo, see you in a bit.”  She waved at the gyrating girls and headed off to meet her beau.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This party had already put her in a great mood. As she neared the loo, she spotted Bobby standing near, deep in conversation with an emotional looking Gary. He was a wreck, a full beard, his eyes glazed over, probably having had one or two more pre-party drinks than he should have. Bobby spotted her watching and shrugged apologetically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was completely entrenched in ‘help Gary’ mode. Bobby was a good friend, and Gary clearly needed a good friend tonight. She shrugged back at him, offering a small smile that said, ‘I understand.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess hadn’t spoken with Lottie much since leaving the villa. The girl had dodged her calls amd given quick responses if any to text messages. Jess wasn’t sure what was up with her, she had ended things with Gary almost immediately after leaving the villa. And since then, it had been mostly radio silence. Jess was the only islander in sort-of contact with Lottie, and she hadn’t a clue as to what was going on with the witchy blond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned away from watching the guys chatting, bumping right into a body. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” Jess called out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch where you’re going,” Allegra steamed. “There's a baby in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I guess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guess?” Allegra raised a brow, her gremlin face scrunched up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smirked. “I guess.” She paused until Allegra’s snarls shifted into a giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allegra pulled her hair back, narrowing her eyes curiously at Jess. “How are you, babes? I heard you got that baker clown to propose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded. “He did, and we’re good. I’m good, really happy. And you? You and Jakub? Congratulations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, he’s been surprisingly great about it, so protective of our little man.” She placed both hands on her belly, rubbing gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, it’s a boy. I can’t wait to meet him.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should be any day now,” Allegra tapped her belly affectionately.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never saw Allegra as the maternal type, but it suits her. Who would have seen that coming? It goes to show how little we did know each other. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess bounced around, saying hello to the various groups, it wasn’t that large of a party, only twenty or so filling the space. For as large as the ballroom was, it was nice having a small guest list and only four camera operators. Nice and intimate, mostly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sipping her drink, she listened to Noah and Jen happily sharing details of their life, having moved in together and gotten a dog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nuzzling against each other, it was cringe-inducingly adorable.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Graham is just the cutest thing, he’s started boofing at Noah’s slippers like he thinks they’re another dog,” the petite blonde said, laying her head against Noah’s arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, you have to show her pictures, babe,” Noah suddenly suggested, as Jen gasped excitedly at his idea. She pulled out her phone scrolling through and showing off photos of Graham, their small terrier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess smiled, looking through and awwing at times, charmed by their cute pup, but also dying to show them pictures of Clem and Sméagol who mostly were friends. Not cuddle buddies, but they would sit close together at times making their owners very happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arms wrapped around her from behind and she relaxed into Bobby’s embrace, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Miss me,” he murmured against her ear. She nodded, a coy smile forming on her lips. She reached for his hand. “Follow me,” she instructed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, as they offered polite excuses to Noah and Jen, rushing off for some privacy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grasped her hand with his own and bounded off towards the single stall loo Jess had spotted earlier in an isolated area of the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pressed her lips against his, pushing him against the wall. Away from the swirling cameramen. She reached for the knob with her free hand. Fumbling against it she tried to turn, but it was locked. “Fuck,” she moaned into Bobby’s ear, ghosting a soft kiss against his neck.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeeeeeessss,” Chelsea’s voice called from the distance, causing them both to groan and look away, hesitantly breaking contact as she drew closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea bolted towards them,  “Jess, it’s time. Karaoke-o’clock. We’re starting with Spice Girls. If you wanna be my lover…” Chelsea sang, dragging Jess by the arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nooo,” Bobby called. Jess outstretched her arm towards him with a laugh as Chelsea dragged her away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cockblocked again, it was almost funny. There was no reason why they needed to hook up at the reunion party, but now it felt like a challenge. Before this party was over, they would fuck somewhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea called all the girls and Rahim up for a rendition of “Wanna Be” by the Spice Girls.  Ibrahim tried doing the worm across the stage, causing the ladies to break down laughing and lose track of their place in the song. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah got up and performed “Hold the Line”, Jen looked a little embarrassed at first but was beaming with pride by the end. Priya did an impressive rendition of “Money” by Cardi B and Henrik sang some Abba song. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea and a very reluctant Levi sang “Summer Days” from </span>
  <em>
    <span>Grease </span>
  </em>
  <span>while Bobby serenaded everyone with his best Fallout Boy impersonation, making Jess cackle with laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jess watched Jen sing a classic Taylor Swift song, she swayed back and forth, as the teardrops fell from Jen’s metaphorical guitar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stepped backwards as Jakub huffed past her, storming towards Tim, looking irritated and confused. A classic look for Jakub- befuddled fury. She knocked against someone and shifted to apologize, momentarily caught off guard by the unfamiliar face- alabaster skin sprinkled with freckles, her vibrant red hair separated into a braid, bright blue eyes widened in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Jess sputtered out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s totally fine,” the redhead answered, reaching out her hand, a giant rock on her left finger. “I’m Hannah, Ibrahim’s fiancée. And you’re Jess. I loved you on the show, you and Bobby were major couple goals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ibrahim stepped over, a wide grin as he placed an arm around his fiancée's shoulder. “Jess, it’s so good to see you again, glad you’ve met. I want you to be friends.” He smiled nervously, his brows raised awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess began to open her mouth when Hannah jumped in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Hannah cooed, “I just know we’re going to be the best of friends. I even talk about it in my book.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your book?” Jess raised a sceptical brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hannah lit up, nodding excitedly. “It’s going to be incredible. I’m writing about what it was like seeing my ex-boyfriend on Love Island and realizing how much I loved him, and our magical reconnection. It was something out of a fairytale.” She sighed leaning against Ibrahim. “May spice up the ending a bit. We’ll see.” She shrugged, casting a look towards Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head, poor Rahim.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I hope he’s happy…. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She quickly excused herself and fled towards Chelsea and Levi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Giiiiiirlll,” Chelsea squealed, noticing Jess heading towards her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Giiiiirl,” Jess answered as the two women met in an enthusiastic hug. She could never tire of hugging Chelsea, much like fucking Bobby, it was endlessly satisfying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they pulled away, her eye was drawn to Chelsea’s partner, Levi. Dressed in a complementary blue suit, he matched Chelsea perfectly. Still, as fucking sexy as ever, she smiled at him politely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation was always a bit stilted between Jess and Levi. Now that they weren’t fucking, there wasn’t much to talk about. They didn’t seem to have anything in common other than the bubbly blonde they both loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How great is this party? I’m pretty proud of it,” Chelsea gushed. “Even without unicorns, it’s so magical. Can you believe how many people turned up? Almost everyone. I think the only person I couldn’t get a hold of is Rocco. His Dad said he went on a walkabout- no phone or anything. I can’t even imagine living without my phone, it’s my lifeline. Time? Phone. Calendar? Phone. Order takeaway? Phone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Chelsea.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s too bad Cherry isn’t here, I hope she’s doing alright,” Jess scanned the room double-checking that the buxom redhead hadn't made a late surprise arrival.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea waved her hands. “Oh she’s fine, she has a show tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize you two were that close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea leaned against Levi, running her hand down his arm. “Not super close but we hooked up with her last week, and she mentioned it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea’s blue eyes grew wide. “If you and Bobby are ever up for it, we would love to get together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked over at Levi briefly, “That might be a little weird…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea placed her palm to her head, “What a dummy. I keep forgetting that you two used to be a thing. That feels so long ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next up is Rohan,” the DJ called out, drawing her attention back to the stage. She was immensely grateful for the distraction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan jumped on the stage, performing a backflip. As everyone applauded, he gripped the microphone, holding it up, excitement radiating throughout his face as he looked over at Jake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked to his partner, who was beaming back, looking adoringly at his boyfriend. How are they so damn precious?? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan took a deep breath, a wide smile remaining on his face as he spoke, happiness sparkling in his eyes. “Jake, I love you more than anything in this world. You completely changed my life in the best possible way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>OMG, this is happening. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jess found herself bouncing up and down excitedly, the suspense of the moment intoxicating. Listening to Rohan list off all the reasons he loved Jake, she felt immensely grateful to be part of this moment in their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over to Jake, tears glistening in his soft brown eyes, love evident on his face as he took in the sweet words of the man he loved. Jess placed her hand over her chest and leaned against Bobby who appeared by her side.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-and I can’t think of anything I’d like more than to marry you. I love you.” Rohan hadn’t taken his eyes off Jake since he began his speech, focused on his words. And now he waited, his resolute declaration of love replaced with a nervous look of longing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake slowly made his way to the stage, emotional, he nodded, “I’d love to,” he said barely audible to the crowd before pulling him into a kiss to the cheers of the rest of the islanders and friends.  Jake and Rohan clutched each other happily, looking even more joyous than they had the night they won Love Island.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The energy of the room was palpable, her heart was racing. Even though she knew Jake would say yes, she was a basket of nerves waiting and now that he had said yes, the moment was somehow over-the-top exhilarating for all watching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby placed a gentle kiss on the side of her temple, “Wanna try the terrace this time?” he whispered against her neck as he ran his hand down her side, rubbing circles against her thigh, teasingly near the hem of her dress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess didn’t answer, but gave him a wink and began walking towards the terrace.  She could feel him following behind her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they approached the terrace, the door opened and Lottie burst out, hair mussed, her lips plump and cheeks flushed. “Oh,” she said, immediately averting her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess’s eyes widened in surprise as Lottie ran her hands down her forest green dress, straightening it out- despite how immaculately pressed the tight dress looked on her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s nervous.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jess realized that she hadn’t seen Gary in awhile, and frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the door opened wider and another person appeared, not Gary but someone much shorter and unexpected. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Marisol, Lottie’s friend turned enemy, turned lover, I guess. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her jaw dropped at the sight and she tried to recover, popping her mouth shut and looking to Lottie for an explanation she wasn’t owed. Lottie was an adult, she could do bits on the terrace with whoever she pleased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Marisol,” Bobby greeted the girl, wrapping her in a hug. “Good to see you. As well as Lotza over here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t even know you were here,” Jess finally managed to get out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why is this weird? It’s not weird that they’re together, but it’s weird that she didn’t tell me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just got here a bit ago,” Lottie said, having moved on to her hair, running her fingers through it methodically. “Can I chat with you?” Lottie finally looked towards Jess, her green eyes brimming with nervousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Jess said, reaching for her hand. “Good to see you, Marisol. I’m sure we’ll chat more later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marisol nodded, a tight smile on her red painted lips. “I hope so.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll keep her occupied, I'm sure we have plenty to talk about,” Bobby said with a smirk. “Marisol, how many times do you think I could feed the ducks before they send me to jail? Is there a warning? How do they stop you?” His voice trailed off as they stepped away, but she could feel Marisol’s growing irritation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess shook her head as she and Lottie went to the terrace. They settled down on a large white couch and Jess waited for Lottie to speak. Lottie stared at her hands, rubbing her fingers together as her eyes narrowed.  The cooler air felt nice, as did the quiet- it was a welcome break from the chaos of the reunion party. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess surveyed the terrace, it was large with multiple couches and pillars lining the area- a private place for her and Bobby to enjoy later- they could even push a couch in front of the doors so that no one could interrupt them. If only they had that feature in the villa, even more people would have probably hooked up there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Jess finally said, breaking the silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tiny smile formed on Lottie’s lips. “So,” she answered back, a dry look of amusement on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Marisol?” Jess asked in a neutral tone. It was hard to gauge how Lottie felt about it, how she would want Jess to feel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie looked down, her coy smile replaced with a frown.  “I’m a little embarrassed about it, not that she’s a girl or anything. But that people will judge me for dating her and everything. After everything with her and my ex. And after everything with Gary. And Seb. I haven’t exactly been the most popular former islander.” She exhaled, placing her head towards her hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Lottie but that’s silly. You’re way too badass to care about what a bunch of tabloid fans think. Who are you? Me?” Jess asked, deadpan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie chuckled. “We aren’t that different you know? I care too much about what people think of me. I didn’t think I did until I left the villa. It hurt, the things people said, how much they hated me. The names they called me. I knew I wouldn’t be a favourite, but it hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I”m sorry, Lottie.” Jess scooched closer, wrapping an arm around her friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes I wish I hadn’t come on this damn show,” Lottie said, wiping a tear away from her cheek. “It’s so dumb, I know it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's not dumb, I completely get it. It took me until one of the last days you were in the villa before I went online and braved the comments to see what people thought. It’s really scary. But remember, no one watching the show really knows you. I know you, and I know how wonderful you are. But Barbara at the shops? She only knows the parts that made it to air, manipulated by the editing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true.” Lottie nodded, her brow still furrowed in concern, still not convinced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you see the episodes where Noah and I were together? I came off as a complete slag and Noah the poor lovestruck victim that I led on. There’s a splash of truth to it, but it wasn’t all the truth, that was the truth they sold to the public.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie nodded again a little eagerly this time. She shook her head, “That damn show.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess laughed. “I know. I have zero regrets because it brought me you all and Bobby. But fuck Love Island.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck Love Island,” Lottie yelled louder as Jess erupted into laughter beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the laughter died down, it was replaced with lingering silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like Marisol, a lot. I think I always have,” Lottie said softly, her voice wobbling a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess reached for her hand. “Then be happy, don’t worry about the Karens of the world. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. But you owe it to each other to try. Fuck everyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie met her eyes and nodded. “Thank you. You’re a good friend, which I have to say, I didn’t see coming.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back at you.” Jess laid her head on Lotties shoulder and they sat together quietly, enjoying the brief break from the party, and Lottie’s problems.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jess and Lottie returned inside, they immediately split off as Lottie went to search for her maybe-girlfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess scanned the room searching for Bobby and spotted him with Tim, Jake, and Rohan in the corner near the bar. Tim held his phone out nodding as a rhythmic beat played.  Bobby bobbed along, his brow knitted, a focused expression on his face. Jess practically gasped at the realization of what was happening and crept closer, for a better view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby caught her eye and smiled nervously before he looked away and began. “I’m Bobby the boop king, I’m totally ding, not as much as this lass, she’s got all the sass and is sweeter than cake. But I bake no mistake.  Here’s a muffin, I’m not bluffin. I’m a legend in the baking, a real whisk-taker- ” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stifled a laugh as she listened, almost impressed by the amount of nonsensical baking references he was able to freestyle.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-after all, love is all you knead, we’re a batch made in heaven. Don’t pie this at home, easier bread than done.” Bobby finished with a bow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not bad,” Tim said as the guys clapped, nodding in approval of Bobby’s silly rap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little bad,” Jake said, cocking his head with amusement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I in?” Bobby asked, closing his eyes and clasping his hands together, emphasizing the absurd suspense of the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim waved Jake and Rohan closer and they huddled into a group, loudly whispering for a few moments. They broke away and Rohan stepped towards Bobby- eyes solemn, his expression serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have accepted you and deemed you a full member of the Rap Crew.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby raised his hands in excitement, running towards Rohan and enveloping him in a hug, rocking back and forth before bounding over to the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess giggled watching his moment. She shook her head, watching the display, not even a little surprised at the direction the evening had taken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess, you want in, girl?” Tim wiggled his eyebrows. “Let’s see you drop some sick rhymes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked to the guys, her arms crossed with a brow raise. “Jess thinks the rap crew is cool but is a bit of a fool. She says no no, I’d rather jump in the pool.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You answered with a rap so that officially makes you part of the crew,” Jake pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love Island Rap Crew represent,” Tim yelled out, causing a few glances their way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nooooo,” Jess moaned as the group of men surrounded her pulling her into a group hug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re the Rap Crew, Love Island style. We’re the best of the isle, gonna rap together the rest of the while. Together we’re the best of friends, to all the very ends, we’ll always be the rap crew buds, now let’s go dance.” He gestured to the dance floor where most of the other islanders were, bouncing along to a Cardi B song. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could the leader of something called ‘The Rap Crew’ be this short white guy who was pretty terrible at rapping? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia and Priya showed everyone up on the dance floor, gyrating together with big spins and mild acrobatic moves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea spun towards her- twirling with wild, spastic motions, knocking against her. “Ooops, sorry girl.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok,” Jess said, “You ok?” Chelsea was bright red, glazed eyes- definitely intoxicated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea motioned her closer, conspiratorially whispering into her ear. “Babes, I didn't think it was possible but I think I’ve had too much gin.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you Chels, but you’ve definitely had too much gin,” Jess giggled, kissing her on the side of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea laughed. “I love you girl, you’re the best bra a girl like me could ever have. I just wish you were closer. You and Bobby are so far away. I miss you, it makes me want to move to Scotland so I could see you all the time. But I dunno if I could handle the lack of sun. I’m a girl who needs my sun…..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chelsea laid her head against Jess’s shoulder, Jess pulled her closer, bringing her in for a school dance type move, as they swayed. “You’re the most amazing person, Jess. I love you so much. You’re so pretty and sweet. I totes get why Bobby loves you so much.” Chelsea’s speech slowed as she rambled, her enthusiasm shifted as exhaustion took hold, her eyes fluttering, struggling to stay awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi popped up, a concerned look on his face as he rubbed Chelsea’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, I think we should get going, I’m not feeling so well,” he said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, babes.” her eyes popped awake. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too much to drink.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I need to head to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My sweet Levi, I’ll take care of you.” Chelsea stumbled over to him. Jess reached for her arm, steadying her as she fell against Levi, eyes shutting as her face hit his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talia and Priya made their way over, looking at Chelsea with a concerned amusement. Priya ran her fingers through Chelsea’s hair and kissed her on the top of her head. “Sweet dreams, little Chels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Priya,” Chelsea said barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, see you tomorrow.” Priya looked to Levi. “Take good care of our girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always will,” he said with a nod before leading Chelsea out of the ballroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is not going to feel good tomorrow,” Talia said dryly, her eyes following Chelsea and Levi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Poor girl, at least she had fun,” Jess said as they moved off the dance floor, settling in against a high circular table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Especially before tomorrow. It’s going to be the worst. All-day interviews. If it wasn’t for this party, I would have skipped out,” Priya chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess tapped her fingers gently on the table along with the music. “I think a lot of us would have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priya has good news…” Talia said, before taking a final sip of her drink.  “Unless you want to leave it for tomorrow.” She winked at her girlfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya shook her head with a laugh. “It’s not that big of a deal.”  She paused, intentionally ignoring a pointed look from Talia. “Elladine quit the show, and they are bringing me on as the next host.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh, Priya. You’re going to be so perfect!” Jess bounced up and down, reaching for Priya’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it seductively. “I know,” she said with a smirk. “I’m a pretty big deal now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always were,” Talia said giving her a kiss on the cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trio headed for the bar, ordering new cocktails and sat together chatting, watching most of the islanders drunkenly having fun on the dance floor. Only Allegra and Jakub had disappeared, either for sex or to rest. Even with Allegra nine months pregnant, with those two, one never quite knew.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her chest grew tight upon the realisation that Erikah was slithering her way towards them. She went to move, hightail it out of there when Priya placed an arm in front of her. “You can’t avoid her forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> I?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Talia answered in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess let out a loud exhale, taking a long drink of her gin &amp; tonic, finishing most of it in that last gulp. She would need it to deal with Erikah.</span>
</p><p><span>Erikah approached hesitantly, a sheepish look on her face as she avoided eye contact and fidgeted with her hands. </span><em><span>Good.</span></em> <em><span>She should feel awkward.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>“So good to see you all,” Erikah said with a timid smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erikah, hello,” Jess said flatly, getting a nudge from Priya. She sighed, knowing she should try to sound friendlier.  “How are things with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amazing,” Erikah answered, her smile growing brighter. “I have so many Instagram followers, it’s incredible. I’ve been getting a ton of sponsorship deals for this plastic-free juice cleanse called Soulmate Food. Ooooh, and these really cute bird feeders and...” Erikah paused, casting a glance around the room. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is this girl seriously looking for the cameras? Don’t even know why I’m surprised. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rolled her eyes and Erikah continued. “Tim’s been a great help in building my brand, he’s annoying but pretty sweet. We’ve been doing a lot of videos together, gotten some good traction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nice,” Jess nodded her head, feigning enthusiasm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm glad things are going well for you and Tim, didn’t see you two working out.”  Talia raised a brow. “Do you actually fancy him or is all a show?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess pursed her lips, trying to keep her laughter in.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Fucking love Talia and her bluntness.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah shrugged. “Does it matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya side-eyed her, but stayed silent, twirling her stainless steel straw, letting it clink against the glass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so, but what do I know?” Jess smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah rolled her eyes. “We can’t all be as lucky as Queen Jess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bitch.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I still Queen of the Villa even after we’ve left?” Jess teased looking over to Priya and Talia. “If so, I’d like to renounce the title. You are more than welcome to it, Erikah. But somehow I don’t think anyone will ever see you as deserving of it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erikah huffed. “Why are you always such a bitch to me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say I’m considerably nicer to you than you deserve.” Jess narrowed her eyes and the angry-looking girl and turned to Priya and Talia. “I will see you lovely ladies later, I’m off to find my jester.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Priya shot her a small glare while Talia had a desperate pleading look in her eyes.  Jess smiled mischievously leaving them in the clutches of Erikah. They could handle it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess eagerly escaped to the other side of the room, running into Gary instead of Bobby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked a bit better than he had earlier, still rocking his breakup beard, but his look was less hollow, his bright blue eyes had a glint of their former sparkle back. He stood at the corner of the dance floor, holding a beer, laughing at Rohan who was walking on his hands as Jake held on to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gary,” Jess greeted him with a tip of her imaginary hat to which he returned in kind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jess.” He smiled warmly, his eyes crinkling in a genuinely joyful way. “Congratulations.” He pointed to her ring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held up her hand, waving it slightly. “Thank you. Got pretty lucky with that one.” Jess looked to the dance floor spotting Bobby and Noah twerking in the centre to the cheers of others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s something special.” He chuckled watching Bobby before shifting back to her. “And so are you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, thanks,” Jess said, clutching her chest dramatically, her brows raising at the compliment. “How’ve you been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary exhaled deeply before taking a long sip of his beer, looking desperate for anything to quench his thirst or at least distract from discussing his problems.  “Some good, some bad. I’m sure you’ve heard but Lottie dumped me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, we haven’t been in touch. Tonight is actually the first time we’ve talked in months.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she’s seeing someone else, the moment we left the villa she was distant. Then there were secret calls, she kept hiding her phone. I’m not even sure what went wrong. That was the worst part, just one day she was gone. Completely ghosted me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Gary. That’s awful.” She placed a hand on his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has she said anything to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight she did, but it’s not my place to share. Maybe you can talk to her tonight?” Jess pointed to her standing with Marisol deep in conversation with Ibrahim and Hannah.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His brow was furrowed as they watched Lottie listening intently to the ramblings of Hannah. Lottie’s gaze shifted towards Jess and Gary as she noticed them staring and she frowned. Jess sent her a stern-look, hoping that Lottie would read between the lines. She needed to clear the air with Gary, get closure. As much as she loved Lottie, the girl was a child emotionally at times, hiding from her problems instead of facing them head-on. All she had to do was have one difficult, honest conversation with Gary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lottie averted her eyes, returning her focus to Hannah. Jess turned to Gary, expecting to see a heartbroken expression, one of longing and agony over his witchy ex. Instead, he was red-faced, laughter bursting through him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess stood, letting the confusion wash over her as Gary laughed, struggling to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it just clicked how dumb this is, I’ve been pining for someone who doesn’t give a shit, wasting all the opportunities I have now, letting it fall away. For what? Someone who couldn’t even be bothered to break up with me. It’s bollocks. Lottie is bollocks.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I love Lottie, but I think I’m team Gary on this one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jess. Things aren’t bad. They really aren’t. My nan was a bit hit with the audience, and it took a few months but I finally convinced her that she could be a reality star. We’re starting shooting a show next month. We visit people and give them advice, it’s called ‘The Crane and his Nan.’ Terrible name, but I think it’ll be a hit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so great, I cannot wait to watch it.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m jazzed, it’s gonna be sick. The road ahead is looking good, even without that pink-haired girl in my life.” He stroked his beard, looking content, happy almost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you’ve gotten your share of female attention since the show ended.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gary grinned. “Maybe a bit. But still, I’m off to see a girl about some closure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck,” Jess said, bringing him for a hug before he sauntered over to a miserable looking Lottie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the corner of her eye, she spotted Jake standing with Rohan and Bobby but focused on her. The moment their eyes locked, he waved her over. Jess skipped towards him almost knocking into Lucas and Henrik who suddenly danced directly in front of her path. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe my presence was requested.” Jess bowed towards Jake upon her arrival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rohan leaned against his fiancé, a slight grin plastered on his face, filled with happiness that she hoped would never leave them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually...well we had something we wanted to talk to you both about,” Jake said, sounding a little nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do tell, I’m intrigued,” Jess said, knocking her shoulder against Bobby’s as she took a sip of the drink from his hand. He mocked annoyance with her, a scolding, teasing expression on his face as he waved a finger at her. It had been an evening of many drinks and she was relishing that floating happy feeling flowing through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake began. “We want to open a restaurant using the money from Love Island as the startup capital. We've found a couple of other investors as well. We want to open the first in London in the next year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys, that’s incredible news, congratulations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake nodded with a tight smile. “Thanks, it’s exciting. But there’s more.” He paused, looking like he was trying to psych himself up for something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We want to have a strong dessert menu and a bakery attached and it’s not exactly my skillset, so I was hoping that you,” he gestured to Bobby, “may want to come on as a partner and run that side of things. What do you think? I completely understand if it’s not something that you want to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess looked to Bobby, taking in the expression on his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Guilty excitement. He wants to do this but thinks I wouldn’t want it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for thinking of me,” Bobby answered, his brow furrowed, deep in thought. “Can I have some time with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Jake shot out, bobbing his head up and down. “Take all the time you need. Well, not all the time. But some time.” Jake blushed, burying his head against Rohan’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the best Jake, love you,” Jess said, wrapping her arms around him and bringing Rohan in for a hug too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby made a loud whining sound. Jess ignored it, hiding a smirk as she hugged Jake and Rohan longer. Bobby moaned again. “Sometimes I feel like no one loves me. All alone here, nothing but this glass of scotch to keep me company.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop whining and get in here,” Jess said, motioning her arm to join them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s dramatic pout instantly shifted into a wide grin as he excitedly joined the group hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed this, you guys,” Rohan said as they each pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to be able to do this all the time,” Jess said coyly. “I mean, if we’re moving to London and these two are working together, I can’t see how we could avoid it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Bobby asked, mouth slightly agape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really,” Jess said with a bright smile. “And not just because I’m a teensy bit drunk.” She gestured a small amount with her hand emphasising her tiny amount of drunkenness </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake let out a roaring laugh, his head falling back. “Well, I won’t be too offended if you wake up tomorrow and change your mind.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I promise I won’t,” Jess said, locking eyes with Bobby and reaching for his hand, squeezing it gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next up is Bobby and Jess, and their rendition of The Elephant Love Medley...” Kassam now back to running the karaoke side of things, called out, sounding as if the life had been sucked out of him having to suffer through so much karaoke. He was always mellow, but now his eyes looked dead, his spirit completely broken by so much terrible singing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe that’s us,” Jess said, bringing Bobby’s hand to her lips, and heading towards the stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck,” Jake yelled as they went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t need it,” Bobby called out, holding his drink up. “Gonna nail this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess bumped against him as they walked to the stage, sometimes it felt like she could never get close enough to him. She was always left wanting more, like he was a drug she couldn’t get enough of- but a healthy one that made her happy- he was pure happiness and joy poured into a person. His joy radiated through everything he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if a lot of his dumb jokes were a facade, protecting himself from people getting to know him. She loved his dumb jokes, and so did he, they were as much a part of himself as what was below the surface. Somehow he managed to make every moment, even singing a silly song together in front of their friends feel so completely special and full of joy. It was a gift- how happy he made her and how happy she could make him. Every once in a while she would say or do something goofy, often unintentionally and he would erupt into laughter, never out of mocking, taking pleasure in anyone’s embarrassment, but genuinely enjoying the silliness of others in his own sweet, unique way. Making him laugh was the most satisfying feeling in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they sang, each getting into their over-dramatic parts, Bobby’s theatrical nature taking control as he bounced around the stage twirling her at times to the instrumental sections. Bobby had huge theatre kid energy and she loved him for it. He managed to bring out that side of her, encouraging her to be a bit wilder, open, more relaxed. She wasn’t sure what she gave him, but knew by the way he looked at her singing Ewan McGregor’s loving words, that he felt as lucky as she did- somehow made him just as happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To the cheers of their friends they bowed, the next song up was a group song and Priya corralled almost all of the islanders up to the stage to sing “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” It was the last song of the night- at least the last karaoke song of the evening-  Kassam would soon transition the evening back to his set. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was having so much fun that it was easy to ignore the cameras swooping around. Knowing they were there so obviously almost made it easier, it was always a mystery in the villa- what the cameras were catching, what would be aired. Now, they knew, and she knew it would be fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow she had developed a ‘fuck it’ attitude about fame and the post villa life. She didn’t regret leaving the villa early. But who she was today, this Jess could have stayed in the villa. Somehow leaving, dealing with the fallout made her stronger, turned her into the kind of person who could have survived, maybe even happily won the show. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, she had no regrets, how could she with Bobby beside her, their future shining brightly like a beacon?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, she was drunk.  Thankfully, most of her rambling thoughts were left unspoken. Although she did profess her love to a few of her favourite villa friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt dizzy with excitement, drunk on happiness as well as gin. Having caught up with each of the former islanders, there was only one thing left to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After so many failed attempts, Jess grabbed Bobby again and led him to the terrace. A little drunk, very frisky, it was time. Inevitable almost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pushed him against the wall of the terrace, “Wow, ok,” he chuckled as she pulled off his navy blazer, letting it drop to the floor. He swallowed and turned to shut the terrace door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pointed to the couch and moved towards it pushing it in front of the door. Bobby quickly realized what she wanted and went to help, grabbing it from the other side and settling it in front of the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doors that opened into the terrace now secure, she looked to Bobby expectantly. “Sit,” she said simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a wide obedient smile, he bounded over to the couch, sitting in the middle with his arms across the top looking at her curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked towards him, settling between his knees, running a finger down his thigh. First, she unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside.  Slowly, she unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down to the ground. Soon the same happened with his boxers. There he sat, naked, hard, exposed on the terrace as she stood before him still dressed, her burgundy dress clinging to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knelt, running her tongue down his cock, drawing a soft moan from his lips. Jess brought him into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip before bringing him in deeply, revelling in the sounds he made as he met the back of her throat. His moans reverberated through her as she drew her hand to her centre, savouring the sound that Bobby made as she twirled her tongue around his length.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he drew closer to climax, she pulled her mouth away- moving away from him as she slid her pants down to the floor. Bobby’s cock called to her as she kicked them away and moved closer, settling on top of him, straddling him, running herself down him. “You’re so fucking wet,” he moaned. His head rolled back against the couch as his hands settled on his hips. She grabbed him, sliding her hand up and down, slick from her touch, and brought him inside her. Fuck, she could do this forever, was there a better feeling in the world? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What better way to end an evening.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they opened the terrace door and returned to the ballroom, they met Seb, cigarette in hand, heading outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seb, fair greetings to you. You’re here late.” Jess launched herself into his arms, hugging him tightly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh, what do you mean?” Seb asked as she pulled away, a befuddled look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The party is pretty much over, and you’re just getting here now.” She pointed out, gesturing to the current lacklustre energy of the party. Half the group had trickled off, and the dance floor was now empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seb grimaced slightly. “Jess, I’ve been here since the party started. I said hello to you and Bobby like an hour ago.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, fuck, fuck. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As Seb walked off to the terrace, Bobby snickered beside her and Jess tapped him in the gut.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's not funny,” she said sternly, embarrassed at how much of a prat she had come off as. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a little funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh, I feel like a complete shit,” Jess whined into her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby laughed again. “It’s fine, just tell him tomorrow that you were super drunk and apologize. It’s not even a lie,” he said teasingly. “My drunken little fiancée.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, I’m fine,” Jess protested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure you are,” he said, interlacing his fingers with hers, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Ready to get out of here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded looking at the time on her phone. Half-past one. “We’ll see everyone tomorrow, let’s go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They headed for the exit, not saying goodbye as the party continued, a smaller crowd, not quite as thumping but still the party would continue without them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music faded as they left the ballroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomorrow they would see everyone again for a day of interviews, it wasn’t goodbye and it likely wouldn’t be goodbye then either. They may not see each other often but their lives were inextricably linked through their days as islanders in a silly villa on the Spanish Balearic Island of Majorca.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through the crisp early morning air, Bobby and Jess walked to their hotel, a bounce in their step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe,” Jess suddenly yelled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, lass,” he answered with his mischievous glint in his eyes he always had when she was drunk and he was too, but slightly more sober.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe we’re going to live here? This’ll be home. We’ll have to look for a new flat.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It’s true, and we need at least three bedrooms.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess gave him a sceptical look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For all those babies I’m going to put in you.” He bumped against her, placing an arm over her shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put in me?” Really Bobby?” She shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You laugh, but the second you give the go-ahead, I’m going to do all I can to make all the babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As wonderful as that sounds, I’m not in a hurry.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? I thought you had a plan... First baby after..-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess rushed over to him placing a hand over his mouth. “No, No.” She laughed, letting go and dropping his hand as he looked to her pointedly, waiting for her to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not in a hurry anymore,” she said with a shrug. “I used to want everything on a schedule, planned out. But now? I want to enjoy this.” She reached for his hand, bringing it to her chest, stepping towards him, almost closing the gap between them. “We have the rest of our lives and if we don’t have kids right way, it’s fine. I’m excited for whatever our future is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby smiled, delicately moving a strand of hair away from her face. “I feel the same way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She never doubted his love for her, it was a warm blanket that covered her everywhere, bringing her peace. Somehow most of her anxieties had faded away, thanks to his love and the fact that she had figured herself out. Who she was, what she wanted, why she was the way she was. She liked herself, mostly. It was a new feeling, and sometimes she saw herself the way Bobby did, it had seeped into her on a fundamental level, the fact that anyone Bobby loved had to be special.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they skipped off towards their hotel the future seemed unclear, but whatever it was- it would be filled with light and happiness, and she wasn’t afraid. </span>
</p>
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